Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 5154.1
51 “Truth is the only beauty.” I was quite young when I first entered the art scene. The young man that I was was a windbag, always having the tendency to think highly of himself although he was not really good at painting. I could not beat the painters [artists] who were already established in the art scene and get [my works] published in the newspapers, magazines and journals in those days. In my opinion, I assumed that I was better than them, that I could do way better than those artists, and that they would not know and could not create as much as I could. Therefore, I created my own kind of art by copying so-called “psychological” [Burmese: စိတၱေဗဒ] “Modern Art” [English] from books and made it “New Painting” [Art; Burmese: ပန္းခ်ီသစ#]. I was just pretending that I understood modern painting [art], although my understanding of it was not as complete as it is now. In that way, I managed to break into the field of printed media and became a household name. When people asked me, “What is it that you draw?” I could not explain it well since I did not know what I had drawn either. So, I would talk back to them, “I can’t explain. You’d better look at it and think about what I drew on your own.” The truth is, I could not clarify because I was only plagiarising others. Actually, modern painting [art] can be explained: what and why. 52 1
Characteristic of usage in the modern period, the Burmese word meaning “painting” is often used to stand for “art”, and likewise “painter” for “artist”. In this article, the original meaning of “painting” and “painter” is favoured. When translated as “art” and “artist”, “[painting]” and “[painter]” in square brackets follows. Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 51-54. Translated by Pann Hmone Wai; edited by Yin Ker.
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When Dr. Rabindranath Tagore was asked about the pictures he drew [or painted] – what, why and how it was drawn –, he would explain it all. Right, a teacher should answer a pupil’s question. That is why his paintings are well known all around the world. People in this world are not as stupid or dumb as to accept things that are unreasonable. Despite the lack of any in-depth understanding, I tried to sound as if I knew modern painting [art] very well. I tried to hide my inability to comprehend it by making modern painting [art] seem more sophisticated that it is. It is human nature to seek meaning, or to be impressed by those who could provide meanings. So, I successfully acted and sounded like I could understand it, and that was how my illustrations became published. To make me well-behaved, as a parent would discipline a mischievous son, Saya Zawgyi and Saya U Ba Kyi sent me as a scholar to “Santineketan” [English; sic], Dr. Rabindranath Tagore’s university. Did I become well-behaved after that? No! I showed even more pride. When my teacher asked me to draw, I copied a picture of a bamboo from a Chinese book. Next, I did not keep quiet either. I talked back to my teacher and acted like a know-it-all, saying that it was a “Brush stroke construction” [English], and so on. My teacher did not say much. He just smiled and nodded, meaning to say, “You are still young.” My teacher did not say a single word about my drawing, whether I was right or wrong. He neither complimented nor disapproved it. He just said incidentally, “Have you visited the campus’ environs? There’s a Santhal village near our campus. Why don’t you pay it a visit?” I… … kept talking about what I really did not know well; I felt smart and was arrogant as always. As urged by my teacher, I went to the village near the campus. There were abundant date palms in the landscape, just as there are palm trees in Upper Myanmar. That village was in addition fenced by bamboo trees. After taking a stroll in the village, I lied down and took a nap under the bamboo trees just outside the village… 53 Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 51-54. Translated by Pann Hmone Wai; edited by Yin Ker.
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The shadows of the bamboo trees were so cool and pleasant. It was really nice to take a nap. While lying down with my back on the ground and gazing, I could also see the blue sky. It was really pleasant to see those surrounding bamboo trees as if they were whistling and rustling in the air and the branches were swaying as if dancing. The breeze made me feel refreshed. I could also see flocks of colourful birds flying around those bamboo trees. There were also fluffy white clouds floating here and there in the blue sky. At that moment, I was seized by an unknown impulse and wanted to write a poem at once. I titled it “Śāntiniketan”. SANTINEKETAN [English; sic] “Śāntiniketan” is a combination of two Sanskrit words: “Santi” [English] stands for peace, pleasantness and tranquility, and “niketan” means district or neighborhood. Hence, the title of my poem could be translated as “Neighbourhood of Peace”. That was the poem expressing my feeling then, and my heart was overwhelmed with benevolence. I only had poetry and painting [art] to interpret express that feeling. I could not write a poem since I did not know much about poetry. Therefore, I wished to express my feeling through the painting [art] I practised. The very first thing that popped up in my mind when I thought of drawing was… Śāntiniketan I am right here In a peaceful atmosphere Above where I lie Bamboo trees with great shadows As if they are dancing As if they are whistling Colourful birds singing Yet in the blue sky A fluffy white cloud is Alone like me. How beautiful…
Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 51-54. Translated by Pann Hmone Wai; edited by Yin Ker.
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That was the content of my poem. But I was only able to express it through my sketches. Secondly, Saya Zawgyi’s image crossed my mind and his (my benefactor) quotes echoed in my ears as well. That was…. “Lavish your goodwill As it becomes magnificent So does wisdom And so does your destiny.” 54 That quote came to my mind as if I was hearing it played on a recorder. By then, I had paid humble homage to my master Saya Zawgyi. Only then did I start work which is so-called fortune [in Myanmar]. I learned about bamboo trees fortuitously and drew a lot of “SKETCH” [English] [sic]. I vigorously studied and drew until the moon rose and night came. On and on, I studied the nature of different bamboo trees such as Bambusa polymorpha, Bambusa arundinacea and Dendrocalamus giganteus, the various sizes of their leaves and nodes, and drew them. In addition, I thought of my mentor, Saya U Hla Bau’s saying, “Truth is… the only beauty”2. But then I felt so embarrassed about exaggerating and talking back to my lecturer about those “Brush Stroke Construction” [English] bamboo trees which I drew. That was when I realised that being pretentious and acting like a know-it-all is utterly embarrassing. On a later day, I brought my sketches back to the university. With embarrassment, I showed them to my teacher. I also had to show them to one of the masters called “Guru” at my college. He was the only “Guru”. Other teachers were just referred to as “Sister” or “Brother” before their names. 2
Being faithful in one’s work or duty promises a genuine outcome. So one must have a beautiful mind or sincerity in his or her work. Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 51-54. Translated by Pann Hmone Wai; edited by Yin Ker.
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That “Guru” was Dr. Nandalal Bose, the pioneer who founded Śāntiniketan together with Dr. Rabindranath Tagore, a very well-known painter [artist] in India. It was then that the teachers allowed me to work in the painting “Studio” [English]. I still had the habit of copying as I used to be a copycat. But by then, I was not copying from others but from my own sketches. I would next prepare to draw or paint by placing my sketches before me. My teacher explained the differences between Eastern and Western ways of drawing. The East… being Eastern, The West… being Western… Eastern painting [art] is about practising and drawing with emphasis on the inner mind in order to gain “Spiritual Perfection” [English]. That is what the proverb, “Knowledge is wealth that cannot be stolen” really means. He pointed out that anyone could copy and draw from books, but what was in our brain could not be duplicated. That is why we believe that knowledge is wealth that cannot be stolen in Eastern painting [art]. Then he took away all of my sketches and drafts. He said, “Things in your mind and heart do not needed to be copied,” and walked out of the room. I was left in the room, clueless, since he took away all the resources I was studying. Only then did I draw on all the things that I had learned and created on my own. From that time on… I was subdued. I dared not be so proud of myself anymore. I became humble and laid down my pride. I started having goodwill and was nice to everyone. I paid homage to the Five Infinite Venerables prior to drawing illustrations for poems.3 I have been doing so since I realised that “knowledge is wealth that cannot be stolen.” Incredibly, I have changed a lot. 3
In Burmese Buddhism, they refer to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, parents and teachers. Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 51-54. Translated by Pann Hmone Wai; edited by Yin Ker.
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I can shine at the end of my time. I do not know where my love for alcohol went. I do not feel like drinking anymore. Valuing wisdom and benevolence, I would like to conclude with my mentor’s words, “Truth {Sincerity] is the only beauty”. Maung Aung Soe
Translated by Pann Hmone Wai Edited by Yin Ker
Bagyi Aung Soe, “My Embarrassment: Confessions of a Painter”, Sanpepyu (Oct 1985), 51-54. Translated by Pann Hmone Wai; edited by Yin Ker.
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