NWR Magazine - Autumn 2020

Distanced voices Staying connected in lockdown

OFFICIAL MAGAZINE OF THE NATIONAL WOMEN’S REGISTER

AUTUMN 2020

Get in touch Editor: Judith Charlton General enquiries: office@nwr.org.uk Membership and press enquiries: office@nwr.org.uk Website: https://nwr.org.uk Twitter: @nwruk Facebook: facebook.com/nwr.uk Telephone: 01603 406767 Address: NWR, 23 Vulcan House, Vulcan Road North, Norwich, NR6 6AQ Registered charity number 295198 If you would prefer to receive an electronic copy only of this magazine, please let us know.

Official magazine Of the natiOnal WOmen’S RegiSteR

Below is our new online programme. To book, log in to the members’ area of the website and follow the booking link, or contact the NWR office for more details at office@nwr.org.uk or 01603 406767, or visit www.nwr.org.uk From Fast-Jet to Wobbly-Head Sally Dearman 5 November 2020, 2:00–3:30pm Following Sally’s hugely successful talk Women can Fly, we have booked the next two talks in the series! In From Fast-Jet to Wobbly-Head, Sally, as the first woman through the RAF’s fast-jet flying training programme, explains the pertinent differences between fixed-wing and rotary pilots and why, once a helicopter pilot, always a helicopter pilot.

The Telephone Treasure Trail 9–12 November, 8–10pm Creative Women: Interviews by Marion Molteno with remarkable women Thursdays at 6pm

Distanced voices Staying connected in lockdown

Autumn 2020

What’s On?

Cover photo: Chris Barbalis on Unsplash

A huge thank you for all your submissions!

Please keep them coming — group news, travel news, personal journeys, short stories, poems. If we can’t fit them in the magazine, look out on the website. For the next edition, please send your contributions to office@nwr.org.uk by 31 January 2021 (copyright of material is transferred to NWR on submission unless otherwise requested).

Not a member?

NWR could be for you!

Have your children just left home?

Have you moved to a new area? Have you experienced some other big life change? Come and meet other women to share and explore thoughts, ideas and experiences. Enjoy lively, stimulating conversation, broaden your horizons and make new friends. We offer a range of activities, from book clubs to walking groups. Join us!

01603 406767 office@nwr.org.uk https://nwr.org.uk Printing NWR magazine is printed on Cocoon Silk recycled paper by Greenhouse Graphics, Hampshire.

This item uses:

12 November 2020 Music For Dogs Carol A Caffrey, Irish actress and poet, performs Paula Meehan’s one-woman play & talks about returning to creativity later in life 10 December 2020 Story Cafe Wendy Kirk, of Glasgow Women’s Library, talks about running a read-aloud group in the East End of the city & how she balances work with raising two children 14 January 2021 Be an Angel Pauline Prior-Pitt, poet and artist, reads from her collection of poems about women’s lives & talks about life as an artist in the Outer Hebrides 11 February 2021 Poetry Breakfasts and more Anna Dreda, founder of the Wenlock Poetry Festival, talks about running an independent bookshop & encouraging a community of local poets 11 March 2021 The Art of Translating Fiction Deborah Dawkin, translator from Norwegian, talks about the challenges & rewards of sharing someone else’s story The Householder Path to Enlightenment (or How To Go From Trained Killer To Nurturing Mother In Three Easy Steps) Sally Dearman 3 December, 2:00–3:30pm After 11 years in the military, first as a fighter controller and then as a pilot, Sally embarked upon motherhood and civilian life simultaneously. Remarkably, both she and her children survived. In this talk Sally shares some of her journey from trained killer to nurturing mother. ‘It suddenly occurred to me that you can’t cut off your children’s limbs to get them to fit into a box. I had to find another way. The way was to throw away the box, but what then?’

Open Group Zoom Meetings Throughout October we are experimenting with group Zoom meetings for members who do not have this option elsewhere. Meetings are open to members anywhere in the country, members who are affiliated to a local group as well as independent members. If successful, the meetings will continue through the winter, so look out on the website for news.

23–25 April 2021 Diamond Anniversary National Conference Burlington Hotel, Birmingham This has been rescheduled to the dates above.

2

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

Keeping all the plates spinning Lockdown brought changes for all of us, not least the NWR staff. Hear how they faced the challenge of supporting members and keeping our organisation running smoothly.

Natalie Punter, National Organiser This year has certainly seen the pace of change at NWR increase rapidly. I have been here for five years now and every year is different, but none so much as 2020. I am based at home all of the time so in some sense lockdown did not change things there. However, having two young children at home who I was expected to home educate did change the environment somewhat – and not just in terms of the level of mess in which I am now used to working.

In fact, I had to reduce my hours once it became clear that there was no way I could manage everything with none of my usual support. This, in itself, has been challenging as the workload has not decreased and I am constantly worrying that I am missing communications from members or forgetting important tasks!

I am usually on the road at least once a fortnight meeting with members around the country, and with the staff and trustees, so not having been anywhere since February is incredibly strange. I do miss the in-person interaction with members as I find this motivational – and

the break from the children is always a bonus. However, learning to use Zoom and hosting talks, quizzes and so on with members has been fantastic! I have loved the opportunity to interact with so many members on a regular basis, many of whom I have not met before. I also love learning new things, so becoming technically proficient on Zoom has been quite fulfilling. I am delighted that the online conference has been a success and

Hosting talks, quizzes and so on with members has been fantastic!

I think that there are a huge number of positives which we can take from this experience. Many members have told me that they feel more a part of a national organisation than they have for many years and that makes me very happy!

I hope that most members will choose to stay with NWR through this difficult time and take advantage of all the things which we are trying to offer. I’m always happy to receive ideas from members, if anyone thinks there are things we could be doing which we aren’t. My wish is that we come out of this period of enforced distance and isolation more connected and stronger as an organisation than ever before.

not in person seems strange at first, but more importantly the meetings can still I generally work be held and what needs to be actioned from home so my still can be. Having the AGM online and office setup was not as part of the conference was also a already complete, different experience. and I had all I have another job as well which was the equipment I office based, but I now do this from home. needed. The team Working from home full time and going meetings we have were already held via through long periods of not seeing people Microsoft Teams, and my work post all comes directly to me. So operationally, not has been hard and feels very strange.

Luckily, operationally, my office setup a massive amount has changed for me.

The main difference is that all our board has worked well and, other than the odd day when the internet has played up, I meetings are now held via Zoom, which have managed to keep up with everything does take a bit of getting used to. Only seeing people on the computer screen and I needed.

Chris Allison, Finance Manager

In this issue FEATURES

14 Where are the women?

Even in the supposedly liberal art world, women were expected to conform to certain socially acceptable roles, often at the expense of their artistic talent.

18 Defining characteristics Why should what we do for a living play such a big part in how we are perceived by others?

NWR IN LOCKDOWN

7 Diss goes digital 7 For the record 8

A to Z of lockdown

10 In praise of Zoom 11 Creativity in captivity 12 Spanish sojourn 13 No way to say goodbye BIG READ

16 Looking back, looking forward Old favourites and new ground. Find out what is on the list for 2021 CREATIVE WRITING

20 All in a day’s work There’s a surprise in store for Staff Nurse Cathy Simmons in this poignant story NEWS

5-6 New faces Meet NWR’s newest trustee, and our recently appointed honorary members.

We also hear from patron Marion Molteno about her series of interviews with creative women, and ask for your nominations for the Mary Stott award.

21 Members’ Corner Latest news from local groups

23 Letters A response to a recent letter on the troubled issue of plastic pollution NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

3

NWR NEWS be very different. But at least my home isn’t as hot as the office in the summer, I have worked which can be a bit like a greenhouse when in the Norwich the sun shines – not great when you’re office for almost already suffering hot flushes!

20 years. During The management of office duties this time, the office required some careful planning. Regular had become a communications between us were vital, comfortable place, not only to keep our sanity while working everything I needed was close to hand, I in isolation, but also to keep everything knew where all my files and documents running smoothly and make sure we were were – everything was second nature. not duplicating tasks.

When lockdown hit, I started working As an office team, we have always had from home. Everything suddenly became so virtual meetings, but even these became much more difficult. No printer constantly challenging, especially when hassled by available, and “where’s my stapler?”. cats who want to play on your keyboard Things were going to be fun. My main and get themselves on camera! concern was what to do with the phones.

My husband has also been working We decided to leave them on answerphone from home, which may sound ideal and to access them from home, once we but his work is quite sensitive, and he knew how this could be done.

I did enjoy the lack of travelling: having seems to spend hours talking in virtual that extra lie-in as I don’t have to spend 30 meetings. We’ve had to set up working environments on different floors of the minutes in the car. And I certainly don’t house. We say goodbye in the morning miss the roadworks! and set off to our separate offices. If the Having had only two months of weather is nice, we sometimes meet for training with Adelia, I needed to make sure we fully understood the tasks that we lunch in the garden.

Since lockdown eased, I work from the had not quite got used to. Sitting next to office once or twice a week. This means I someone is far easier than trying to screen can have a catch up with Adelia, discuss share across the miles. It was clear that priorities and look at the work we have managing the daily office tasks would

Sam Bushell, Office Administrator

Adelia Tisdall, Office Administrator I started work at the NWR office in January this year. It’s a fairly standard 1970s office in Norwich on an industrial estate. Sounds horrible in theory but in fact has big south facing windows – lovely for the light, but unbearable when it’s hot, and we are constantly serenaded by a cavalcade of trucks going in and out of the builders’ merchant opposite.

I was enjoying working with Sam, and she was proving a patient instructor in the mysteries of the photocopier, the databases and the greatest challenge of all – the franking machine. However, overnight, like many up and down the country, we had to close the office, gather up files, screens and potted plants and head home… and for the next three months, that’s where Sam and I stayed, in contact everyday via Microsoft Teams.

4

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

It was challenging. I have a very small and dark flat and found the four walls rather oppressive day after day. None of the office systems worked in quite the same way at home on my laptop. Also, Sam and I work very closely together and when we are both in the office it is easy to call out a question or check something

Overnight, we had to close the office, gather up files, screens and potted plants and head home. out, but not so easy in separate places.

In fact, lockdown has meant an increase in our workload as NWR has stretched to meet the new demands we have all faced. There has been a massive increase in communication, both from Natalie because of many more newsletters and the online talks, but also from members.

This has been a steep learning curve for all of us but particularly for many of our

coming in. I do miss the work–life balance I had before. The routine of leaving home for work and finishing at a normal time has gone. I try to dress in suitable work attire most days, but sometimes…

I now tend to spend a lot more time sitting at my PC, and am regularly shouted at by my husband for not taking

I try to dress in suitable work attire most days… breaks. I check work emails on my iPad outside working hours and don’t always down tools at home time!

I have not found working from home as difficult as I had first imagined, although it still has its challenges. Also, the workload has increased, especially the volume of emails and the number of queries related to online event bookings, and we have had an increase in enquiries.

Like our members, I underwent a learning curve with Zoom meetings, but I’ve enjoyed this experience.

Despite these huge changes, I think that Adelia and I have managed to successfully overcome the difficulties and have managed a smooth running of the office. At any rate, I haven’t had too many complaints about it! members who are of an age to find this move online challenging.

Some groups have clearly embraced the new technology and are loving Zoom, but we have spent a lot of time on the phone with members who have been struggling.

When things eased a bit at the end of June I came back to the office, while Sam has continued, mainly, to work from home.

For me this was a relief. I know many people have loved the change but I prefer to have a separation between work and home and enjoy the sense of going out into the world. It has also meant being able to answer members’ queries by phone and in general it all feels a bit easier and more efficient working in the office again.

I’m still really enjoying the work. We are a small team and we are doing our best but our workload has definitely increased. We welcome your questions and your comments so do please keep them coming, but please bear with us if we can’t always respond immediately.

Onwards and upwards!

NWR NEWS

Welcome to a new trustee

Creative women

This year sees the election of a new NWR trustee, Jan Fuller, for whom our organisation has meant a great deal over the years, as she tells us here.

Marion Molteno tells us about her series of interviews with remarkable women

Having been a member of NWR for over 30 years, I am delighted to be joining the Board of Trustees, giving me the opportunity to put something back into an organisation that has given me so much over that time. Like many of you I joined NWR when my five children were small and my husband had a job that took us to different parts of the country

every few years. Local and area meetings as well as Day and National Conferences sustained me over those years of house moves and family changes. I joined my first group in Beccles in Suffolk and have never looked back.

Finding a new group was a priority when we relocated to Lincolnshire and I soon joined the Deepings group. They did not disappoint! I found the same lively minded and enthusiastic women welcoming me with friendship, support and stimulation. When, after eighteen years at home raising the family, I returned to paid work, I found NWR just as important to me.

The organisation still excites me and I look forward to the next level of commitment as a trustee.

Calling for your nominations!

The Mary Stott Award is presented to an NWR member who has done something exceptional, explains trustee Jennifer Johnson.

The award is named after Mary Stott, who was a journalist and editor of the Guardian women’s page. In 1960 she helped to give birth to the National Housewives’ Register, which later became the National Women’s Register, and she supported our organisation throughout her long life. In recognition of her great contribution, and as a lasting tribute, in 2003 the trustees introduced the Mary Stott Award, to be presented to a member who has: ■■ made an exceptional contribution to NWR, the community and/or the wider world; ■■ made great strides in her own personal development; ■■ shown a great commitment to a project.

To do this, we need you, the members, to nominate a fellow NWR member who

you feel meets these criteria. She must be someone who you know and feel has achieved something exceptional.

First you must obtain their agreement, and then you should write to us in around 500 words explaining why you are nominating this person. Nominations should be submitted to the NWR Office, closing date 29 January 2021.

The winner will be presented with a Quaich – a Scottish cup of friendship – which she will hold for the year, and a book token as an acknowledgement of Mary’s profession as a journalist. The presentation will take place at the April 2021 Diamond Anniversary National Conference in Birmingham. The winner will also be provided with a free place at the conference and travel expenses.

I look forward to your nominations.

By now you may have joined us for the first two interviews in this series, and I hope you’ll be there for the ones to come!

You can find details in the “What’s on?” section on page two.

The idea came to me because of lockdown. I’d been talking to 60 NWR members in Somerset, celebrating our anniversary. They wanted to hear about my own journey as a writer, and I keep thinking of all the amazing women I’ve met on that journey, and wishing there were a way for us all to hear their stories.

Then – no more gatherings of that kind – but thank goodness for Zoom! We’re all in different ways creative women. I have randomly selected six who I know have something special to share.

For the first months of lockdown I was in fact finishing the story of my writing life, Journeys Without a Map. It is called this because I stumbled into each stage of it, and it has taken me places I could never have imagined. I’d love you to read it, and look forward to hearing from you if you do! It’s in e-book only – again a result of lockdown. It’s a tough time for the book industry as for everyone.

Here are a few readers’ responses: I was swept along by the details of the actual journeys – the hazards, adventures, happy or unhappy coincidences – and the writer’s journey as well. Carol A. Caffrey ...because she’s a great story teller, whether it’s Shropshire or India it holds the same fascination. Nicky Road Engaging all the way through.

Linda Wright What a brave book this is – laying bare levels of feelings, thought and creativity, that though beautifully written still feel quite raw. Greg Lanning Marion’s book can be ordered at: https:// books2read.com/JourneysWithoutAMap NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

5

NWR NEWS

Doing the honours What better way to celebrate our diamond anniversary than by creating some new honorary members? Trustee Gill Wignall explains what is involved.

Honorary Membership of NWR was created to reward those members who have made a substantial contribution to promoting NWR at regional and national level, and whose work or service has been of great value to the organisation.

At present, there are three Honorary Members: Lesley Moreland, National Organiser in the 1970s, NWR founder and current member Maureen Nicol, and ex-trustee Jean Stirk. Recently deceased Honorary Members are Gill Vine and Mary Dodkins. We can have up to ten Honorary Members at any one time, and the celebration of our Diamond Anniversary seemed an ideal time to create more.

The award is conferred by the trustees, but the recipients are nominated by the membership, therefore all members were invited via email to put forward those they thought deserving of the award. Nominations were to be made in writing to the chair of trustees, supplying supporting evidence, a seconder, and the agreement of the nominee. By the time the deadline came around on 31 October 2019, we had received seven nominations.

The final choice is made by a committee comprising the five trustees and six volunteers from current Area Organisers.

In June 2020 this committee met by Zoom to make the incredibly difficult decision

June Nash I joined NWR around 1980, and belonged first to a group in Porthcawl which unfortunately no longer exists.

We then moved to Horsham – I still see old friends from there at national events – and again to our current address in the Solihull area.

The first national conference I attended was in NWR’s 1985 Silver Jubilee year. The theme was Hatching and Despatching, and it blew me away. I think that’s when I decided I wanted to get more involved on a national level, but because of work and family 6

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

as to who should be awarded Honorary Membership. We discussed the criteria and looked at how the potential recipients met them. These criteria were: ■■ A significant number of years – 10 or more – as a volunteer, for instance as a member of the National Group/ Committee up to 1999, or as an Area Organiser; ■■ A significant number of years – 10 or more – in any other voluntary role that has contributed to the development and/or enhancement of NWR for members, such as special interest group organiser or social media ambassador; ■■ Any other input that has raised the profile of NWR, encouraged new members or brought other value or benefit to the NWR membership.

All the nominees had contributed much to NWR but, eventually, we took a majority decision that two of them stood out, and Honorary Membership was awarded to June Nash and Janet Tuffs. Both have been members of NWR for many years and have taken on substantial roles, both local and national, as you will see from their descriptions of themselves.

Both are worthy recipients of this award, which was announced at our virtual AGM in September.

commitments I wasn’t able to do this properly until 2006, when I answered a plea for new trustees. When asked what qualities I thought I had to be a trustee I answered “A passion for NWR and lots of common sense,” and that was it! I was a trustee then for almost 10 years and very honoured to give back to the organisation that had given me so much.

I’m still Local Organiser for my group, Knowle, near Solihull, and throughout the last six months we’ve continued to meet on Zoom every week and have managed to talk about lots of things other than Covid-19. It’s been very useful: one of our members has been in Switzerland and another in France, both unable to get back home.

Janet Tuffs I have been an enthusiastic NWR member since my eldest son was six months old. He is now 42! Living in a Leicestershire hamlet, a neighbour introduced me to the Melton Mowbray group in 1978. After a house move to Lincolnshire I was a member of Grantham’s lively, friendly group for 30 years, and then, moving to Suffolk in 2016 to be near my youngest son and his family, I joined the Bury St Edmunds group.

I enjoy gardening, reading, art, theatre, and travel. I trained as a medical secretary and worked as PA to the Chief Press Officer at the British Medical Assocation in London before I married. My move to Leicestershire saw me working for the Research and Development Director of Pedigree Petfoods – and yes, they did taste the dog and cat food at quality control panels. After the birth of my two sons I worked in school administrative roles so I was always at home for the summer holidays, later coming full circle back to the NHS, at a sexual health clinic.

I know what it’s like to be Local Organiser, take part in the Postal Book Group and the House Exchange Scheme (remember that!) and to help run discussion lunches, day conferences and area events. In 1999 I was chair of the last National Group, and in 2004 I was a co-opted trustee for six months.

I was also an Area Organiser for many years, enjoying building up relationships with groups and coordinating meetings, and I’ve attended a great many National Conferences and helped to find speakers for some of them. For 10 years I held the Research Bank at my home, sending out over 1,000 topic packs to groups, and this year I was part of the committee who ran Eastern Region’s Diamond Day at the Athenaeum in Bury St Edmunds.

I was very surprised when Gill rang me to say I’d been awarded Honorary Membership for Life. I want to thank Sheila Briggs from Lincoln South and Faith Oxford, Area Organiser, for nominating me. I will continue to promote our organisation at every opportunity. I’ve gained so much from NWR: support during difficult times, interesting challenges, so many laughs with friends and fascinating experiences — walking through Brighton sewers has to be a highlight!

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN

Staying home The next few pages are devoted to your lockdown stories: sometimes funny, sometimes painful, always inspiring!

Diss goes digital

highly proficient broadcasters On 26 February five Diss members joined among us. Most the Eastern Region lunch in Bury St participants made Edmunds to celebrate NWR’s diamond two presentations anniversary. Earlier in the month our by video, one was group had enjoyed a 1960s evening, and their contribution we were feeling hopeful for the next 60 and the second years of NWR. was a reported One of our members As 11 March approached we realised conversation with contributing on that some of our members might be an absent group WhatsApp from the reluctant to host and attend meetings but North Norfolk Coast member. Some decided to go ahead with a session where people wore green, some reported from their gardens, some arranged greenery in beautiful displays.

There was poetry, environmental discussion, and consideration of the restful influence of the colour itself.

The greatest achievements were evidenced on 6 May when our topic was Diamonds are… We all did a lot of research and we learned a tremendous amount but decided that it was a topic A group of us meet in the park for a socially that we could return to when we could distanced chat meet face to face.

On 20 May, since we could not have we looked at towns, villages and cities on our meal out as planned, the discussion the same latitude as Diss. This was to be was favourite meals from our memories. our last face to face meeting.

This was amusing and enjoyable. We did By 25 March we had decided to set speculate on where and how we might eat up a WhatsApp group instead. This out in the future. included nine of us, and we used the We have had three further meetings telephone to reach members who lacked since then. In the first of these we smart phones and were unable to join us discussed sunsets, sharing photos, on social media. So, we nine logged on videos and poems as we enjoyed the and communicated mainly by text. More wonderful late spring weather. Then it experienced users uploaded documents, was Favourite Walks, and finally Books photos and even a video. Our subject was We Have Read During Lockdown and the 400th anniversary of the voyage of the planning for the future. This is a bit like Mayflower and we had a good session. crystal ball gazing at the moment but By the time of our next meeting on 8 we have a strong list of topics, plans to April there were several videos uploaded meet in groups of six in the local park, and the text conversation was wide plans to try Zoom and an enthusiasm to ranging. Most of those attending were continue the WhatsApp group. A local able to relay conversations they had church hall may be available in the future had with other members, and could for socially distanced meetings but, if not, subsequently report back to them by we will find a way to meet. Everyone has phone. We were talking about biographies been included in some way and NWR that we had read. continues to thrive in Diss.

On 22 April the topic was Everything Bronwen Moran, Diss NWR Green, and it was clear that we had some

For the record Between April and June, I reported some of my personal thoughts and experiences of various aspects of lockdown for the living history record of the West Sussex County Archive. Here are a few of them.

Early days In the first few weeks I was shocked at how much I dithered and drifted. I am normally a really focused person: not anymore.

I starting sleeping a lot, which was previously unheard of. What was the point of getting up with nothing in the diary?

Food and meals I followed the advice of a friend who had achieved success by booking a grocery delivery at midnight when new slots become available. The utter relief at getting a slot for three weeks later was ridiculous. Had it really come to this?

Exercise

My first drive out after government advice allowed short car journeys in order to exercise was the five-mile trip to Bosham. My first glimpse of the water brought tears of joy to my eyes and a real lump in my throat, especially thinking of all the times I have brought friends here.

Technology It has taken a global pandemic to force me to embrace new technology. A steep learning curve but I now feel proud of myself for being able to organise meetings online and establish WhatsApp groups.

I have chats with my daughter in the Cayman Islands and son in North Bersted, but they are not frequent. I confess to being envious of those friends who have big family quizzes and games nights.

Church Not attending my church has had a huge impact on me. Indeed, on Mothering Sunday – the first online service – I was so upset sitting on my own listening that I wept, and was inconsolable for several hours. I think I was suffering from shock at the huge changes that had occurred so fast, and grief for a life lost. In fact, it was very therapeutic, and I felt loads better later.

Anna Bloomfield, Chichester NWR NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

7

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN

Alphabet inspiration For 26 weeks, Facebook helped to dispel that Monday morning feeling for members of the discussion forum, writes Gillian Paton of Salisbury NWR Following a flip comment made on the NWR Facebook Discussion Forum, I conceived the simple idea of posting a letter of the alphabet every Monday morning and asking members to name their lockdown activity, beginning with that letter. It was taken up by a number of groups around the country, becoming a truly national endeavour. Here is a selection of the most inventive and funniest – NWR simply at its best.

A

Art. Sarah, Chard and Ilminster Allotment Digging for Victory!

Linda, Arnold Avoiding anyone. Sarah again Attacking the garden. Hilda Burnett, Solihull Allowed out – the psychology of this simple idea is that we will be allowed out before we reach Z! Gillian, Salisbury Arsing about and not settling.

Debbie Reavell Accentuate the positive. Jenny Lee, Horsham Photo: Lynn Welsher

in isolation. Penny, Salisbury Chatting to chums. Moira, Falkirk Celebrating! It’s my birthday today. Moira, Gloucester Checking my to do list. Not much ticked off. Ann

D

H

Hoping we all continue to be hale and hearty.

Heather, Leighton Buzzard Happy to be home. Mary Hand washing, hand clapping, hair chopping, hip hopping!

Jenny, Horsham Happy hour is getting earlier.

Sarah, Chard and Ilminster Staying happy. Susan, Crewe Hearing birdsong. Susan, Epsom

E

C

Cleaning. Julie, Thornbury North Caring for my friend after her successful cancer operation.

Sarah, Chard and Ilminster Cursing! Let me let off steam 8

L

I

M

J

B***** coronavirus – that’s B and C done!

Heather, Leighton Buzzard Being British. Gillian, Salisbury Bananas – eating them and going. Judy Blue Tits. Lynn, Solihull

It has to be kindness, doesn’t it? Joyce, Newcastle-under-Lyme Remembering kite flying on Dunstable Downs to celebrate our group’s 40th anniversary.

Heather, Leighton Buzzard Struggling to think of a K, I googled. Kungfu – maybe, karate – hmm, kangaroo – just reminds me of how long before I see my family in Oz, kayaking – might be fun, kill – I’ve got this far without killing my husband. Ah well, knickers it is then. Ann, Beckenham

Looking at my life and assessing my future lifestyle. Susan, Crewe Libraries – in normal times I help run a shared reading group. Sarah, Trentham Drawing by Jenny Lee Licking the bowl after making a sponge. Took me right back to my childhood. Marion, Independent Lucky. I know I am lucky to have good health, a house Establishing new routines, with a garden which has hobbies, values. Linda access to many lovely walks, Inventing meals from what’s Evaluating my endless, friends who keep in touch. in the fridge. Sarah, exhausting, normal existence.

Pennie, Salisbury Trentham Vanessa, Salisbury Lazily lapping up the lovely, Intermittently interrogating the Empathising with those languid lifestyle but lamenting internet for interesting ideas who have to be alone even lost lives. Barbara, Shorehaminvolving intelligence and in normal times. Pennie, by-Sea ingenuity. Jill, Crewe Salisbury Dealing with inertia. Hilary, Elevenses, thereby Coincidently this was Congresbury establishing a new routine. the day, 15 June, that Ignoring, investigating and Jenny masks became compulsory on being inspired by family Eating Easter Eggs. Sue, public transport. history. Gill, Luton Gloucester Meditating on whether I In isolation I’m intuitively should make my mask or Facebook and Facetime. inclined to illustrate “the meander through eBay list and inconsequential incidence Penny, Solihull buy one. Marion, Independent Fitness. Sue, Chester Grosvenor of the iguana in Islington”.

Mystified by people going Jenny, Horsham Faraway family – keeping in out for KFC, McDonald’s and touch. Catharine Primark. Why? Liz Crouch, Foraging for flour! Jenny, Jigsaws, obviously. I think Totton Horsham I’m on my fifth, maybe Missing and mourning my Following lockdown rules so I sixth. Ann, Beckenham husband who died on 13 May. can live. Jeanette, Formby Jokes – my nine-year-old Shirley, Medina Finishing fings – fantastic grandson has a joke for me Making masks and muddling feeling. Barbara, Shorehamevery week on Zoom. Moira, through. Louise Rand by-Sea Gloucester Meeting my mum on Thursday.

Getting fatter. Pennie, Joining NWR. Sally, Burgh Judy, Wimborne Salisbury Heath Meeting up with NWR friends Jolly japes jettisoning junk. at last in my garden. Lynn and Gardening, gardening, Jenny, Horsham Penny, Solihull gardening. Judy Jealousy! Trying hard to be Going mad? Sarah, Chard and joyful but jealous of many Ilminster couples I pass on my solo Grateful I don’t live in a highwalk. Pennie, Salisbury rise block. Gillian, Salisbury Writing my daily journal.

Going for a walk. Hilda Judy, Wimborne Groups, missing my group Joking with Joy, my activity and contact. Judy mum, who is 91. Lynn, Giving blood! Lynda, Arnold Solihull Dancing. Freddie Mercury Tribute last night. Penny, Solihull Dreaming of better days to come. Pamela De-cluttering. Ann, Beckenham Dandelions bursting into bloom. Liz, Southsea Dog walking. Sarah, Trentham Delving into photos. Lorraine

F

B

K

G

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

The letter N has to be for The New Normal.

Gillian, Salisbury Nonsense, which is what we get a lot of from the media.

Joyce, Newcastle-under-Lyme Normal People – fantastic acting, wonderful cast, memorable lockdown TV. Pauline, Earley NT if you can get tickets.

Rosemary Kidd Not spending as much money. Jenifer, Kilbarchan Nurturing my grandchildren.

Shirley, Medina Nature, noticed much more in lockdown. Ann, Beckingham

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

N

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN

T

P

S

Q

Photo: Lynn Welsher

X

X-chromosome. Gillian, Salisbury Xasperated by politicians of all stripes, fingers Xd for a vaccine. Lynda, Arnold Xessive eating and drinking.

Celia Goldberg Using xi in excessive games of words with friends. Maria Watts Unwinding, unravelling Xi and xu are extremely useful. at times, and umbrella Heather, Leighton Buzzard up as a parasol today. Jan Tuffs Exam fiasco. Penny, Chester Spent two hours at the X-ray for painful hip. Zoe Heywood undertakers this afternoon planning my friend’s funeral.

Xmas was mentioned on Sarah, Chard and Ilminster Loose Women today, 25 Urban gelato – our village August. Gillian, Salisbury hairdressers, Urban Angels, xxxx with my granddaughters reinvented itself as a takeaway after lockdown. Valerie Chantry

U

Photo: Brooke Lark on Unsplash

O

R

Walking Waggon Yard Trail around historic Farnham.

Christine Forsaith Wistfully watching the worsening weather as we wander the waterways of Wales. Vivienne, Wimborne

Y

ice cream parlour during lockdown. Celia Goldberg Undisturbed so far! No scaffolders at 8am for my roof leak. Gillian, Salisbury

V

Versifying – playing around with words.

Sarah, Trentham Virtual meetings, virtual bridge, virtual entertainment, virtual talks, virtually nothing!

Pauline, Earley Vacation in Scotland. Hilda, Chesterfield West Visitor to my house! Pauline, Weymouth Vodka. Vot else? Marion Watts Vivaldi, especially choral music. Trish Shuker Virtual viewings of Vermeer, Van Dyke, Van Gogh, Veronese, Velázquez, Villon.

Jenny, Horsham

Yearning for life to return to normal. Susan, Burgh Heath Yin, the passive female principle of the universe.

Joyce, Newcastle-under-Lyme YouTube. Trish Shuker Yawning as I yank myself out of bed for the start of the new school year. Sally, Burgh Heath Yikes! Have we really been doing this that long? Christine Forsaith

Z

My Z has to be the long wait to see my beautiful new granddaughter Zoe. Marion, Independent Trying to maintain zest for life and not turn into a zombie.

Maggie Freeman Zoom, had never heard of it before March. Hilda, Chesterfield West Zorro. Bridget, Maidstone Zeedonk of course. Lainie, Weymouth Photo by Cody Chan on Unsplash

figures coming out daily.

Bridget, Maidstone Cheerfully waiting in queues.

Appreciating the quiet while Obsessing about hand- questioning the quality of my washing. Moira, life before the virus. Susan, Gloucester Burgh Heath Odd one out! Found lockdown Queuing to buy coffee at has been the perfect time to Starbucks. It was worth it! Ann, lose weight. Susan, Kilbarchan Dunfermline Organising my husband’s Remembering the quetzal I funeral as best we could. saw in Costa Rica. Vivienne, Shirley, Medina Wimborne Opportunities – starting to Listening to Queen. Sarah, think about activities and Chard and Ilminster adventures again. Alexis, Chesterfield West Reconnecting with Obese is what I’ve become friends in an old address during lockdown. Anon book. Jan Tuffs Overjoyed I can now cuddle Repairing, restoring and my grandchildren. Morag, repurposing, and watching Hamilton The Repair Shop. Gill, Luton Reading with relish the new retail possibilities. Ann, Dumfermline Rowcroft Hospice – visiting my best friend there. Sarah, Chard and Ilminster Remembering my son who Picnic – six of us met for died suddenly in January, one a socially distanced of the first Covid deaths. He picnic in the park. was 47. Lorraine, Southampton Ann, Beckenham Roof! Still not had my February Pressing flowers. Lynn, Solihull storm damage fixed. Gillian, Painting, planting plants, Salisbury cleaning patio. Liz, Totton Patchwork, prayer, protecting Sowing and sewing. Jan parents and learning to be Tuffs patient. Lainie, Weymouth Starting gym classes again!

Penning writing exercises.

Stretching, squeezing, Susan, Crewe suffering. Lynda, Arnold Poo-pooing the plan to So many words I’m sick of – continue lockdown decorating. social distancing, staycation.

P’d off with it now. Sarah, Lynn Latham Chard and Ilminster Sporting a sling, sunshine Pruned! Had a haircut. Gillian, (shoulder surgery). Celia Salisbury Goldberg Playing the piano. Antoinette Stork spotting in Sussex.

Ferrero Jenny, Horsham Supplying sauerkraut. Hilary, Quizzing, quietly Congresbury questioning, quelling Seeking a slimmer self in qualms. Jenny, Horsham September. Sally, Burgh Heath Querying the contradictory

Trepidation … Tick Tock … Time will tell. Barbara, Shoreham-by-Sea Not to be confused with TikTok. Hilary, Congresbury Touring on a tandem. Judy, Wimborne Tête-à-tête thanks to technology. Jenny, Horsham Listening to tracks from Teaser and the Firecat, Yusuf Cat Stevens. Gillian, Salisbury Tending garden and using tablet. Susan, Crewe Trusting this is a temporary time of trouble. Susan, Burgh Heath

W

Watching Wiltshire Walker (Gillian, Salisbury) waiting, wondering what we will write for W. Barbara, Shoreham-by-Sea Waiting for life to get back to normal. Alexis, Chesterfield West NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

9

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN

Can you hear me?

Never too late to learn

Photo by Massimiliano Martini on Unsplash

Enid Hoseason, Durham City NWR

Lockdown!

I really should get going, I’m sure there’s lots to do.

I could go for a walk now that I’ve exercised my brain,

But I feel a bit mañana, or is it déjà vu?

But looking through the window, I see it’s bound to rain.

The garden’s looking tidy – well relatively so –

So I’ve watched repeats of Poirot, Midsomer Murders too,

But I’ve managed to get scratches, and blisters from the hoe.

I could clear out several cupboards, a task long overdue,

But I’ve had enough of crime and so now need something else to view.

But the charity shop’s not open, and the dumpit site’s closed too.

I could start to read my new book, because critics can’t be wrong,

I’ve moved a bit of dust about, just to show I’m willing

But seems a little daunting at nine hundred pages long.

I’ve done the washing, but I can’t find ironing very thrilling.

I need some inspiration to write a piece or two,

I’ve WhatsApped friends, and Skyped the kids, and phoned a pal or two

But procrastination reigns when you’ve got lots of stuff to do.

Read the paper, done the crossword, except one pesky clue.

© Nicky Wheeliker 2020

10

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

Our first Zoom meeting was for programme planning, and we had lots of ideas to Few of us had heard of Zoom before lockdown, choose from. It takes a few moments to get now we find it hard to imagine life without it. everyone into the meeting and 40 minutes can go by quite quickly, so having two meetings back to back has worked for meeting was a Planning Meeting, which Three cheers for Zoom! us, with a break if need be to clap for the we held on Zoom, and which worked Where and how would I be now without NHS. Once we are up and running, the a lot better. For one reason or another it? Five months ago, I had never heard of chairperson for that evening takes over. a surprising number of new members it. Five months ago, life as I knew it was We have been patient with each other, had joined us, either from the Diamond rapidly closing down, a trip to see a friend sometimes doing a one to one Zoom to Day celebrations and publicity, or just in Harrogate was cancelled at very short see how the meetings would work for notice, as was our 17 March NWR meeting coincidentally. We put together a plan those who were not sure, or else having for the next three months, and I also and our 20 March seniors’ community someone on the phone during a meeting suggested a virtual get together – coffee choir session. However, our choirmaster to talk a member through the process. morning or afternoon cuppa – for the suggested we try meeting on Zoom – I have to say that the majority of our Tuesdays in between our fortnightly whatever that was? We had a hilarious evening meetings, just for a chat and catch members are retired – without giving time trying to get it to work, logging in away ages – and due to this current up. This we have been doing ever since. and out, getting used to the mute button, situation, we have all been able to learn Usually we have a summer get together “can you hear me…?” But I like to think something new. at someone’s house or garden, to drink of myself as being reasonably IT literate, Each week we exchange emails. Some Pimm’s and eat strawberries and cream, so I had a go and was impressed. On members walk around their gardens and choose a book to read, and for our 21 March the family were supposed and take photographs of their lovely last meeting of the summer we would to be meeting for our granddaughter’s hold a party to which we invite partners. christening, and no doubt I would have Neither of these could take place but, as received some Mother’s Day cards, but restrictions had eased a little, groups of this was cancelled too, so I suggested we six met in various gardens and we had all try out this Zoom thing. It worked flowers to share, one member has some our Pimm’s and strawberries in August very well and we have had a session old photographs of members and puts every week since – unless now we meet in instead. It was lovely to see people in a couple up each week, just little things person rather than on screen, but we person – which has helped a lot in getting to keep us in touch with each other. On were at the mercy of the weather.

Our over the sadness of not being able to see Thursdays some members watch the live programme of virtual get togethers has offspring and grandchildren. theatre on the television, and, on other continued through the summer, to keep Amongst our NWR group, Chester days, some take part in what the NWR us in touch with each other and hopefully Grosvenor, there was much emailing Office have been organising. to ward off isolation and boredom, and about the way forward. I extolled the We in Durham try to mix both light for most it has been a godsend. advantages of Zoom but some were not hearted and something more serious, so a So, three cheers for Zoom, who knows so sure. It was decided to hold a virtual meeting titled “Tell us anything unusual how long we will be using it for? meeting by email for the next event, and that you have spotted on your daily walk” it was a complete nightmare. Our next Penny White, Chester Grosvenor NWR may be followed by one with a topic of “What is nuclear medicine?” The latter was well attended, and very interesting.

I’m not alone as some might think, as other folk may be, for three of us make up this group... I, myself and me.

Or perhaps a game of Scrabble. The scoring will be high and one of us will always win and usually it’s I.

We’re told that we must not go out nor travel on the bus; going into Sudbury is not allowed for us.

Each one of us will have our chores. The beds are made by me while myself does the dusting and I prepare the tea.

Our conversation’s pretty dull... we may not all agree but every little problem’s solved by I, myself and me.

If it’s sunny Shadow joins us... she’s really very shy and never speaks but walks behind myself and me and I.

We just have to amuse ourselves to help the days go by and wave to neighbours from afar, myself and me and I.

When we are told that all is clear and isolation’s done we three will have a party and celebrate as one.

Sometimes we do a jigsaw from those up on the shelf and spend time sorting edges out – me, I and myself.

Vera Burrell, Long Melford and District NWR

Weaving stories Rhian Houslay of Bridge of Weir NWR tells the story of a quilt that brought friends and strangers together during lockdown As Covid-19 was affecting communities across the globe, and lockdown restrictions being introduced, an idea for an amazing quilt project was born. Entitled “Creativity in Captivity: Spring 2020”, this is the story of how the quilt came about. It started with Sue Brown researching the history of quilting prior to our mutual friend Cathie Holden making a quilt to mark her daughter’s civil partnership. While doing so, Sue came across the story of 400 women interned by the Japanese in Changi Prison, Singapore in 1942. In order to alleviate boredom, raise morale and to pass out personal messages, fellow internee and Red Cross representative Ethel Mulvany had the idea of constructing quilts, and the women were each given a six-inch square and asked to “sew something of themselves” into it.

The result was three quilts which were given to the Red Cross organisations of Britain, Australia and Japan, ostensibly to be used for the wounded.

Thus, Sue and Cathie’s idea for a contemporary quilt made by shared endeavour was born, and 65 people from across the UK, Europe and the Bahamas came together through friendship, family and word of mouth, to bring it into being. Each person created either a six or a twelve-inch square. Some were experienced quilters or makers, others were new to sewing.

My involvement came about because I was asked to write a haiku for the central square, to try to sum up the responses of

all those involved. Having two left thumbs, I was fortunate that an experienced maker offered to embroider my words, which she did beautifully.

The project became much more for those involved than simply creating a square for a quilt. At a time of lockdown, it had different meanings for each individual. Some were finding isolation difficult, and the project helped connect them to others with a common purpose via a Facebook page in which all the squares and the ideas behind them were shared as they were completed. Many commented on how the beautiful spring had helped, while some just wanted to thank the NHS. Others chose significant material linking them to family. My haiku tries to sum up the common thread that runs through their responses: As we stand apart Love in all its many forms Spins threads that bind us The quilt was assembled by a group of expert quilters at the end of May 2020. It is now fulfilling one of its purposes, which is to raise funds for charity, supporting those who have suffered during lockdown. However, it is evident that it has found another purpose, namely to tell the story of Spring 2020. It is now

on the move around the country, being exhibited in galleries, in local halls and other civic spaces. Pictures really don’t do it justice, so please do try to see it if it comes to a venue near you.

It has been such a pleasure and privilege to be part of this project – not only to see the different ways in which people have responded to this strange time, but also to enjoy the creative processes they have used to bring those responses to life on their squares: with imagination, skill and humour!

If you would like to follow its progress, or donate to the chosen charity, Refuge, you can find out more via these links: https://www.facebook.com/The-Quilt-Spring2020-Creativity-inCaptivity-101544494963998 https://uk.gofundme.com/f/spring2020-creativity-in-captivity NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

11

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Trisolation

by Vera, Vera and Vera Burrell

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN

El confinamiento A winter break that ended in July. Pam McKee, of Burbo Bank NWR, describes her experience of lockdown in Valencia.

Please note these are personal observations of an “extranjera” who along with her husband decided to stay when lockdown was declared – so I may have got some issues regarding political motives and reactions of the people not entirely right!

This is written from an old Spanish town in the Valencia region and not the busy melting pot of Madrid.

Footsteps are not tracing those of the ancients who have walked the Camino in previous years, decades and centuries – grass and plants grow and reclaim the paths. Wildlife rediscovers its territory and wild boars will shortly be known to roam, not only the forest, but to come down to the outskirts of towns.

Airport terminal buildings are empty, shiny and quiet, as are the skies, save for the odd Guardia Civil helicopter patrolling the motorways to make sure second-homers don’t decant from Madrid to the coast.

Here in the old town the swallows have arrived and are free to dip and dive in the narrow, car-free streets as they nest and hunt for food, the silence pierced only by their cries and Photo by Inna Podolska on Unsplash

those of the old town cockerels, chickens and ducks, who seem noisier than usual as if compensating for the lack of any other sound. None of the ubiquitous motos as they struggle up the steep hill outside our house. No shouts of children – they are indoors and will be for the next six weeks, regardless of how small their apartments and access to outside space. Their playparks are fenced off by flimsy tape wafting in the wind.

Even the smells of food which normally tease our nostrils are absent, as if forced to stay indoors too. No calls from rooftops, no rattle of persianas1 as neighbours hop in and out of each other’s homes. Stay at home. Go out only for essentials. Just one person. Borders closed.

We arrived mid-February for our usual escape from the British winter, planning to stay five weeks. We had come by ferry to Bilbao and driven down to the Mediterranean coast just south of Valencia city. We had managed to entertain two sets of family visitors and were planning on hosting a third set when the shutters suddenly appeared to come down. We decided to stay. It would all be over by April wouldn’t it?

We popped into our local bar for an evening drink on 13 March to be told that they would be closing the next day. We had been oblivious to any possible moves toward this — we generally watch the Spanish news but this came as a surprise!

The following day prime minister Pedro Sánchez addressed the nation and so did King Felipe VI. The message was clear: we are in this together, we need to stick to the rules and together we will get through. The daily applause for the essential workers started almost immediately, probably motivated by scenes from Italy, and gave an opportunity to make NOISE – fireworks and saucepan bashing!

Rainbows went up in windows and on balconies. Una dia mas, una dia menos. Quedate en casa2. Simple unchanging messages.

Compliance and acceptance was high.

Contagions peaked at 9,700 on a single day as March turned to April and deaths at 1,198. There were distressing stories of people being abandoned in care homes. There was lack of PPE and the Madrid Ice Rink was used as a mortuary. The everpresent Chief Health Officer, Fernando Simón, appeared daily to give updates — good or grim — with piercing eyes, rasping voice and a calm authority. On the political front the state of alarm was extended after the initial three weeks and would end after 98 days on the 20 June.

Rules were simple and clear! Stay at home, one person to go out for essential shopping, only food shops, tobacconists, petrol stations and pharmacies allowed to open. In the two-week run up to Easter there was a further measure that only essential workers could go to work, and a system similar to furlough was in place. There was the inevitable run on shops for the first weekend but within days shelves were mostly full again, with just flour, yeast and, of course, bleach being the goods most in demand. The government had delivered on its promise to ensure food supplies. It was interesting to see that laundries remained open: whether the washing was more essential than the gossiping, I don’t know!

There was no going out for exercise, no unnecessary car journeys and no more than one person in a car except in the event of “force majeure”! We had filled our car with petrol on 13 March, and by early June still had the same tankful.

The national road was empty, traffic lights gave out their signals to non-existent traffic, pedestrians swerved on pavements to maintain distance. Even the weather went on lockdown with more rainy and grey days than one would expect. Meanwhile, through the long quiet days, we got to grips with Zoom and WhatsApp, we played Scrabble and rediscovered canasta, and had our regular appointment with the Downing Street briefing

Photo by Dan Gold on Unsplash

12

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

LIFE IN LOCKDOWN Photo by Juan Gomez on Unsplash

as well as catching up on events in Spain. A daily doorstep chat with our neighbour across the street — at a slightly higher volume — gave structure to the evening.

My lockdown birthday involved baking my own cake and sharing the blowing out of candles with my grandsons in the UK – they blew hard and, hey, it worked! Homemade birthday and Easter cards were devised for neighbours.

Probably like most people, we felt all over the place for the first couple of weeks and then, somehow, a routine emerged and the pace slowed as we adjusted. I cut my hair using a mirror and just feeling my way, and also did my husband’s, so we managed to look reasonable. And I only cut my fingers twice! Again, no doubt like others, food and meals became important. We established Pizza Friday: at least that way we knew which day of the week it was! I can proudly say that nothing was repeated more than once. I made my first ever lemon meringue pie – all from scratch and the lemons picked off the tree. Reading increased and I was delighted to still attend my book club via Zoom.

Easing of restrictions began in May with a four-stage programme. Phase 0 allowed adults and children out for exercise but at specific times. Phase 1 saw the opening of outside areas of bars and restaurants and of some non-essential shops. In Phase 2 larger stores could open, indoor eating with social distance was allowed, and travel restrictions eased. Each autonomous region was able to decide whether to progress to the next stage, Phase 3 being a general return to work with social distancing and masks obligatory on public transport and public places where social distance couldn’t be guaranteed.

The days turned, months passed, the sun got higher in the sky, we had blue skies and sunshine punctuated by some heavy thunderstorms, and the temperature gauge climbed. Looking back where did the time go? Those early sad days seem so long ago. Welcome New Normal!

We returned to the UK on 7 July. One casualty of lockdown: I was due to walk the Camino Portugués from Tui in April.

Next year now!

1 A persiana is a type of blind or curtain that rolls over the door opening, allowing privacy while letting air into the house.

2 One day done, one day less. Stay at home.

No way to say goodbye ON 5 MARCH my husband of 48 years went into hospital with an infection. For the first two weeks I could visit him so all was normal. Then all visiting was stopped, even though I was officially his carer, receiving carer’s allowance. Communication with the hospital became virtually non-existent. After three and a half weeks he was medically fit for discharge but a care package could not be put in place, so he spent four days in a care home some distance from where we live. He was insulin dependent and, because they had no one to give him his evening injection, I went every day to give them. He was then brought home and carers came four times a day. This was all during the lockdown.

After five and a half weeks he got another infection and was readmitted to hospital, where, again, I was not able to visit him.

He died on May 13th. My daughter and I were finally able to see him the day before he died, but we had to wear masks and gowns, even though he did not have coronavirus. Our son lives in Canada and was awaiting the granting of his permanent residency: because of this and travel restrictions he was unable to come home to see his Dad or to be here for the funeral.

In spite of everything, there have been positives.

Fortunately, the week before the funeral the crematorium had set up 30-minute, online transmissions of services. An NWR friend kindly took the service for us, however, she fainted mid service, knocking over a large display of flowers and causing the service to overrun, which meant that our son and others watching online did not see the end of the service. Numbers at the actual funeral were limited to 10. Our son has still not been able to come home.

In spite of everything, there have been positives. Although the five and a half weeks he was at home were very difficult, at least he was home with me. Because we were in lockdown there were no places to go or be. He always liked a bargain and, because of all the things we couldn’t have at his funeral, that was a bargain price. We even thought that taking flowers from the garden was more appropriate than a flashy floral display. No wake, of course, so we addressed this by having two Zoom calls with friends and family whilst eating fish and chips and drinking cider, as these were two things he always enjoyed. I have been able to rest since the funeral, as the things I would normally do are not happening because of lockdown.

We have already passed the milestones of his birthday, Father’s Day and my birthday.

We met in June 1971, decided in November 1971 that we would get married, and married 15 January 1972. He promised me life would never be dull, but I never thought he would leave me in the middle of a pandemic.

Shirley Hill, Medina NWR NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

13

FEATURES Museo di Capodimonte,Naples

Where are the women?

Journalist and writer Ann-Marie Michel wonders why female artists are still struggling for the recognition they deserve In the age of #MeToo, it’s tempting to believe women are finally on the brink of achieving one of the fundamental goals of feminism: to be seen as human rather than female. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? And yet true equality remains elusive, with opportunities limited and female trailblazers subtly or not so subtly marginalised.

I first noticed this in art school many years ago. One of eight women in a class of hundreds of people, I wondered where are all the women artists? My response was to use my initials only, so that my work would not be obviously female. It was an uneasy compromise – after all, people go to art school hoping to become famous, but what’s the point of fame if you can’t use your own name?

After university, I started writing for an art magazine, but the more I looked at the art world, the more I began to notice certain patterns in the way women artists are perceived and the way their careers develop – or more often, don’t develop.

The fact is that tradition, social circumstance and simple sexism have tended to push women into just a few socially acceptable roles – what I call the four possibilities: Eccentric, Lover, Muse or Saint. Looking at the life stories of key women artists can help us understand how this system works, and how it works against women.

It’s as if we allow women to play with art, but real work, and real fame, is reserved for men. In Renaissance times, it was almost unheard of for a woman to be an artist. It required a woman somehow able to ignore the rules of society. I call this role the Eccentric: a woman literally outside all bounds. And in 17th century Italy, this role was filled by Artemisia Gentileschi.

Artemisia was born in Rome in 1593, the daughter of a fairly successful painter. She grew up in her father’s studio, learning drawing and painting alongside her brothers. She probably never would have pursued a career in art had it not been that the more conventional roles of wife and mother were effectively closed to her. Artemisia was raped at the age of 17, by one of her father’s friends. Initially, the family tried to hush this up, but eventually the case came to court.

It meant public humiliation for the young Artemisia, who was quite literally declared damaged goods. She used art to deal with the psychological trauma of what happened to her.

She began painting violent scenes of women taking revenge on men in whatever way they could. Her paintings are technically as good as anything produced at the time, but they are hardly conventional. She represents something very rarely seen in art: a woman’s point of view.

This shocked viewers and patrons more interested in her story than her genius. Artemisia suffered from a peculiar form 14

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

Judith Beheading Holofernes, by Artemisia Gentileschi.

of benign neglect: she found work, but mainly as a novelty. To support herself, she had to change her style to suit her market’s tastes. She fell into obscurity and died largely forgotten in 1653.

And then a final indignity: her early powerful paintings were misattributed to her father – as if critics couldn’t quite believe a mere woman could be so talented.

200 years later, we have the French sculptor Camille Claudel playing the role of the Lover. Camille was born into a family of well-to-do farmers, but from early childhood showed artistic leanings. Her father encouraged her, but her mother never accepted her choice to be an artist, and her disapproval played an important role in Camille’s later life.

She arrived at Auguste Rodin’s studio in Paris at the age of 19 to work as his assistant. Before long, she was his model, his lover, his inspiration – and arguably his artistic equal.

Camille is an example of both Lover and Muse, roles that often intertwine. She had a tremendous influence on Rodin, she inspired him, she often modelled for him, but she also carried out work on his figures, so their style became blended. They were creative partners, but their footing as equals was not the norm in 19th century France. Camille was an unmarried woman and, bohemian or not, she had to live with restrictions.

It is no wonder that she focused on Rodin’s work – it was her best chance to get anything done. By helping him, she was able to realise at least some of her own ambition. But imagine her frustration – to be called a mere assistant or Muse.

Her affair with Rodin both made and broke her. She became unstable and paranoid, destroying her own work. She ended up in a mental asylum, where she spent 30 years because her mother refused to release her. Camille Claudel paid dearly for her scandalous love affair. This is typical of many women artists who find themselves consumed by love – history sees only the ghost of their talent.

But it could be worse. The Saint is a woman who pays for her creativity with so much disaster that her career seems miraculous – like the Mexican painter Frida Kahlo.

FEATURES Photo by Veroniki Thetis Chelioti on Unsplash

Frida was born in 1907 in Coyoacan, a small town outside Mexico City. She was close to her father, but had a difficult relationship with her mother: a pattern often seen with women artists. She had polio as a child, but this was only the beginning of her suffering. At 18, she was involved in a horrific streetcar accident that left her body and psyche shattered. She spent a year in hospital in a full-body cast, and during this time she began to paint.

In 1929, she married the painter Diego Rivera, already famous for his public murals. Together they became symbols of a social movement demanding rights for the Indian underclass. Frida became a folklore heroine, painting in a naive style, although she was privileged and sophisticated. This duality runs throughout her life and work. She smoked, drank, and had affairs, giving her husband a taste of his own medicine. But Kahlo’s paintings show her private pain, and all women’s endurance. As Frida once put it, “I suffered two grave accidents in my life…One when a streetcar knocked me down and the other was Diego.”

A Saint may be lonely and unhappy in this life, but rewarded in the afterlife. Today Frida’s name and face are recognized everywhere; she has become an archetype for female artists.

Since these roles can overlap, many women play more than one in their lifetime. But the American photographer Lee Miller played them all. Born in Poughkeepsie, New York in 1907, she suffered sexual abuse as a child, setting her up for life as an Eccentric. Escaping from her troubled family home, she ran away to New York City in the 1920s, where she became a fashion model. Lee was so beautiful that people sometimes overlooked her brains and talent. She ran away again, this time to join the Surrealists in Paris. She had no art world connections, but plenty of courage, so she introduced herself to

Frida Kahlo mural, Rome

Vertumnus and Pomona by Camille Claudel Musée Rodin, Paris

the photographer Man Ray as his new student. Thus began her next phase as Lover and Muse, working for and with Man Ray for the next three years.

Their relationship was difficult. Man Ray considered Lee an invaluable assistant, but he was insanely jealous of her. He gave Miller her first camera, but by the early 1930s the student threatened to surpass the master. She left him in 1932, heading back to New York to set up as a society photographer, and photographed many famous artists including Picasso and Miro.

She gave that career up to marry a rich Egyptian businessman, but by 1937 she was bored and reinvented herself completely.

She was working for London Vogue when World War II broke out, and she became a war correspondent. This unlikely development demanded both physical courage and mental toughness. Lee went to France for D-Day, documented the first use of napalm, witnessed the liberation of the concentration camps, and was even snapped in Hitler’s bathtub. She photographed unbelievable horror – and published the results in a beauty magazine. By this time, she had married the respected British painter Sir Roland Penrose. Marriage and motherhood were supposed to be the whole universe to a woman, but Lee struggled with drink and depression, descending into mental illness. She stopped working, and her son Antony only realised her gift when he discovered thousands of negatives after her death in 1977. He has played a major role in promoting her work for a new generation, who acclaim his mother as a feminist icon – Saint Lee. Yet not enough people are aware of her, or the many other women artists who have been and continue to be pigeon-holed.

These categories are convenient, but constricting: we are losing the unique perspective of female artists and the extraordinary gifts they offer. Women are half the population of the world: surely it’s time to acknowledge their rich variety.

Ann-Marie Michel is an American journalist based in the UK who writes and speaks on art themes. Her talk Women in the Picture was enjoyed

by NWR’s virtual conference. She can be contacted via speakernet.co.uk

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

15

THE BIG READ

Something old, something new A round-up of new books, and a look back over the last six decades. It’s the Big Read 2021!

Due to the disruption of our 2020 plans, we are continuing our anniversary throughout 2021, with the theme of ‘Diamonds are Forever!’ This has made compiling the 2021 Big Read something of a challenge, but inspiration has been drawn from the wonderful list created by Dorking group, who chose a book for each year of NWR’s existence, from 1960-2020. You can see their books, and their comments, at https://bit.ly/30f1HiS. So, we have scoured the internet for the highest rated books from each of the six decades since NWR’s formation. Authors are British, American and otherwise; male and female; and some books are for young adults. We have excluded those that have made it into previous Big Read choices. These have been paired with recommendations of books by female authors, all published this year, making a diverse and exciting selection!

1969 Slaughterhouse-Five Kurt Vonnegut An American classic, and one of the world’s great anti-war books. Centred on the infamous firebombing of Dresden, Billy Pilgrim’s odyssey through time reflects the mythic journey of our own fractured lives as we search for meaning in what we fear most. The work has been called an example of “unmatched moral clarity” and “one of the most enduring antiwar novels of all time”.

1979 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Douglas Adams Before being published as a novel, this was a radio comedy, broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1978. Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last fifteen years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor.

Together this dynamic pair begin a journey through space aided by advice from The Guide – “A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.”

1984 The Unbearable Lightness of Being Milan Kundera The Unbearable Lightness of Being tells the story of a young woman in love with a man torn between his love for her and his incorrigible womanising, and one of his mistresses and her humbly faithful 16

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

lover. This magnificent novel juxtaposes geographically distant places, brilliant and playful reflections, and a variety of styles, to take its place as perhaps the major achievement of one of the world’s truly great writers.

1998 The Poisonwood Bible Barbara Kingsolver The Poisonwood Bible is a story told by the wife and four daughters of Nathan Price, a fierce, evangelical Baptist who takes his family and mission to the Belgian Congo in 1959. They carry with them everything they believe they will need from home, but soon find that all of it – from garden seeds to Scripture – is calamitously transformed on African soil. What follows is a suspenseful epic of one family’s tragic undoing and remarkable reconstruction over the course of three decades in postcolonial Africa.

2003 The Kite Runner Khaled Hosseini The Kite Runner is the unforgettable, heart-breaking story of an unlikely friendship between a wealthy boy and the son of his father’s servant – a beautifully crafted novel set in a country that is in the process of being destroyed.

It is about the power of reading, the price of betrayal, and the possibility of redemption; and an exploration of the power of fathers over sons – their love, their sacrifices, and their lies. A sweeping story of family, love, and friendship told against the devastating backdrop of the history of Afghanistan over the last thirty years, The Kite Runner is an unusual and powerful novel that has become a beloved, oneof-a-kind classic.

2012 The Fault in our Stars John Green The title is inspired by Act 1, Scene 2 of Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar, in which the nobleman Cassius says to Brutus: “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, / But in ourselves, that we are underlings.” The story is narrated

by Hazel Grace Lancaster, a 16-year-old girl with thyroid cancer that has affected her lungs. Hazel is forced by her parents to attend a support group where she subsequently meets and falls in love with 17-year-old Augustus Waters, an ex-basketball player and amputee. As a novel marketed at young adults this is bound to be an interesting diversion for many members!

THE BIG READ 2020 My Dark Vanessa Kate Elizabeth Russell Russell’s first novel offers a fictional account of a traumatic sexual relationship between its protagonist, Vanessa Wye, and Jacob Strane. Wye is 15 years old, and a lonely student at boarding school, when Strane, her 42-year-old English teacher, begins grooming her for a sexual relationship which will come to cast an appalling shadow over her life.

The novel is a first-person narrative, jumping forward and backward in time between 2000, 2007 and 2017: this last year affording Russell the social context of the ‘Me Too’ movement. It is implied that Vanessa is, at least in part, an unreliable narrator owing to her reluctance to see herself as a victim or Strane as a predator. My Dark Vanessa is an era-defining novel that brilliantly captures and reflects the shifting cultural mores transforming our relationships, and society itself.

You People Nikita Lalwani Set behind the scenes of a London pizza restaurant, You People centres around Tulu, the pizzeria’s proprietor. A Robin Hood character, he aims to help anyone in need, but when his guidance leads into dangerous territory, the characters are faced with a difficult moral choice.

“This is a moving, authentic, humane novel,” says the Guardian, “which raises fundamental questions about what it means to be kind in an unkind world.”

If I Had Your Face Frances Cha A riveting debut novel set in contemporary Seoul, Korea, If I Had Your Face is about four young women making their way in a world defined by impossibly high standards of beauty, secret room salons catering to wealthy men, strict social hierarchies, and K-pop fan mania.

“Even as a girl, I knew the only chance I had was to change my face... even before a fortune-teller told me so.”

Actress Anne Enright Irish author Anne Enright’s new novel Actress has been longlisted for the Women’s Fiction Prize, and is a tale of fame, power, and a daughter’s quest to understand her mother. Katherine O’Dell is an Irish theatre legend. As her daughter Norah retraces her mother’s celebrated career and bohemian life, she delves into long-kept secrets, both her mother’s and her own. Her mother’s protector, Norah understands the

What will we read in 2022?

We are now looking for a group to compile the Big Read list for 2022. The theme for the year will be “Our evolving relationship with food”, the conference theme “Insatiable Consumption” and the country America. Please contact me at natalie@nwr.org.uk if you are interested!

destructive love that binds an actress to her audience, but also the strength that an actress takes from her art. Once the victim of a haunting crime herself, Norah eventually becomes a writer, wife, and mother, finding her way to her own hard-won joy.

Hamnet Maggie O’Farrell Drawing on Maggie O’Farrell’s long-term fascination with the little-known story behind Shakespeare’s most enigmatic play, Hamnet is a luminous portrait of a marriage, at its heart the loss of a beloved child.

It is set in Warwickshire in the 1580s.

Agnes is a woman as feared as she is sought after for her unusual gifts. She settles with her husband in Henley street, Stratford, and has three children: a daughter, Susanna, and then twins, Hamnet and Judith. The boy, Hamnet, dies in 1596, aged eleven. Four years later, the husband writes a play called Hamlet.

Award-winning author Maggie O’Farrell’s new novel breathes full-blooded life into the story of a loss usually consigned to literary footnotes, and provides an unforgettable vindication of Agnes, a woman intriguingly absent from history.

Weather Jenny Offill Lizzie Benson slid into her job as a librarian without a traditional degree. But this gives her a vantage point from which to practise her other calling: she is a fake shrink. For years she has tended to her God-haunted mother and her recovering addict brother. For the moment they are stable, but Lizzie has little chance to spend her new free time with husband and son before her old mentor, Sylvia Liller, makes a proposal.

She’s become famous for her prescient podcast, Hell and High Water, and wants to hire Lizzie to answer the mail she receives; from left-wingers worried about climate change and right-wingers worried about the decline of western civilization.

As Lizzie dives into this polarised world, she begins to wonder what it means to keep tending your own garden once you’ve seen the flames beyond its walls. When her brother becomes a father and Sylvia a recluse, Lizzie is forced to address the limits of her own experience – but still she tries to save everyone, using everything she’s learned about empathy and despair, conscience and collusion, from her years of wandering the library stacks… And all the while the voices of the city keep floating in – funny, disturbing, and increasingly mad.

Groups are invited to read and discuss one or more of these books and submit reviews to us by the end of January 2022.

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

17

FEATURES

On the difficulty of answering a simple question Author, illustrator and artist Katrina van Grouw examines the notion that we are defined by the work we do, and tells of the particular problems it poses her “What do you do for a living?”

It’s a harmless enough question; one that ideally requires a short answer, like “astronaut” or “Marketing Manager”. Then the person asking can decide whether to engage in conversation about it, or whether to drift away and talk to someone else. The last thing they expect is someone tongue-tied and red-faced, who clearly doesn’t know what it is they do. The closest thing to a concise answer that emerges from my stream of incoherent mumbling are the words: “I produce books.”

I produce books: beautiful, illustrated natural history books that communicate science to everyday people. I work on them fulltime, seven days a week; think about them every minute of every day; and dream about them at night. They’re successful, and I get fan mail from readers of all ages from all over the world.

So why, oh why, do I flinch away from that very simple question?

Part of the answer lies in nomenclature. Names are important, and it’s vital to be described by one that fits. For

Inside The Unfeathered Bird

those of us who evade classification, it’s easier to answer the question in terms of what we’re not than what we are.

I’m certainly an author, but when people hear the word “author” they immediately think of fiction. And when the author is a woman, and also illustrates her own books – people think of children’s fiction. After that, explaining that you actually produce books about evolution and anatomy for adults is just a confirmation of their automatic expectation that your books are dull, super-specialised, and only of interest to a very limited niche market. Their response is always the same and if I had a pound for every time someone said this, I’d be very rich indeed: “You’re not exactly J K Rowling, then.”

Actually, there are actually hardly any full time non-fiction authors. Most other science authors are university professors or researchers who would definitely describe themselves as 18

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

biologists first and foremost. Writing books is part of their job, or a way to earn some extra income on the side.

Although I produce my own illustrations, I also have a problem with the tag “illustrator”. The line between fine art and illustration is a thin one: many works of fine art can function superbly well as illustrations, and many illustrations are sublime works of art in their own right. The distinction is not in the creations but in the professions. Being an illustrator usually involves working to someone else’s brief and taking instructions about how the illustration should be done. I’m actually exceedingly bad at it and seem to be clinically unable to drum up enthusiasm for anyone’s ideas other than my own!

My background was in fine art, but “artist” is another misnomer, now that I’ve turned my attention to producing books. My creations in former years – loose, dark and monumental artworks of towering sea cliffs covered in nesting seabirds – were a world away from the detailed anatomical drawings I produce to illustrate my books. Mine are not art books, despite being very beautiful. “Art books” – collections of an artist’s work on a loose theme – are a world apart from illustrated books that are created to communicate a message.

But it’s hard to shake off the assumption that this is the way I express myself as an artist: that I’m some sort of arty Goth chick who’s “into skeletons”.

My first illustrated book, The Unfeathered Bird, was an idea I’d been incubating for nearly 20 years before it found a publisher, and was only intended as a temporary diversion. It was conceived in the corpse of a mallard duck that I stripped down and studied in minute skeletomuscular detail during my college years, in a Renaissance-esque inquiry to better understand the avian subjects of my art. But when the time came to return to my previous artwork I found that I’d moved on. I’d evolved in a new direction and discovered something that ticked all the boxes for me. Nothing could compete with the creative satisfaction of bringing a wholly original, beautiful book into the world.

To return to the not-so-simple question that’s the subject of this article, the second difficulty is that the question has a premise. “What do you do…for a living?” It implies that whatever you do has no value unless you make a living from it, or that how you make a living defines what you are. Nonsense on both counts, of course.

According to this premise, scores of celebrated actors and musicians would have to pass themselves off as bar staff. Countless volunteers engaged in life-saving charity work would have to admit to being housewives or unemployed. You get where I’m coming from.

FEATURES Because I’m the author, and illustrator, and even the designer of my books, each book takes around six years to create. The labour intensity goes even farther, because the anatomical illustrations of bird skeletons in active lifelike postures are invariably drawn from skeletons that we’ve cleaned and articulated at home, so there’s months of preparation work before the illustrations are even begun. No non-fiction book, no matter how successful, could provide a living wage to match that sort of single-minded devotion! But in common language this comes across in one word – failure.

I’ve endured my share of poverty over the years: I’ve burned the furniture to keep warm and once even masqueraded as a waitress in a busy pub so that I could eat the leftovers from people’s plates. The dilemma we’re faced with as creative people is whether to supplement our income with other paid work – in which case the task will take even longer – or to accept the lack of personal income as the necessary price of bringing something into the world that deserves to exist.

Neither option is better or more worthy than the other: it’s simply a question of how you prefer to live.

For me, the hands-down first choice would be the former: a day job with nice people who say good morning and ask how my weekend was. I initially made the mistake of selecting the most menial job I could in a deliberate effort to keep job and career separate: plucking chickens on an assembly line at an abattoir. Honestly, you wouldn’t believe how spitefully jealous a bunch of chicken-pluckers can be when a younger hen joins their number. This was followed by a succession of souldestroying occupations: as a bird ringer on a nature reserve for £90 a week (that one even came with accommodation: a ratinfested caravan); data entry; photocopying; and, worst of all, being forgotten about altogether and paid to do nothing. Trust me – it’s not as good as it sounds.

Eventually my skills as a self-taught ornithologist and specimen preparator came to my aid when a job arose as curator of the bird research collections at the Natural History

Artwork from the pre-book days – loose, dark and monumental

Amy, the duck that inspired The Unfeathered Bird, which one reviewer described as, “the best book ever to be inspired by a dead duck”!

Museum. At the interview I talked enthusiastically about The Unfeathered Bird (still in its embryonic form) and showed photographs of skins and skeletons I’d prepared. Getting that job made me feel like the Ugly Duckling when it discovered it was a swan.

A few years later bad news followed good news on the same day like two barrels of a shotgun. I was approached by a publisher to write a book. And I was forbidden, by my head of department, from ever producing books in my spare time.

My husband now has my job. We’d job-shared in my final year, before I was forced to sacrifice the museum for the privilege of creating The Unfeathered Bird, and he was able to take over my hours. So although as a couple we suffered no loss of earnings, as a professional hard-working woman it was humiliating to accept that I’d no longer be financially independent.

By now you might be starting to understand why “What do you do for a living?” is such a difficult question for me. Noone’s interested in the details. Society judges us by how much we earn, and fills in the gaps with preconceptions: “successful scientist husband (he must be a scientist as he works at the Natural History Museum) generously supporting his (artist) wife’s hobby.”

The Unfeathered Bird was followed by Unnatural Selection, with the same publisher, and now, with the first title already out of print, I’m working again on a brand new, enlarged edition, called The Unfeathered Bird: Fully Fledged. It’s intended to be the best version of itself it can possibly be, though the “fully fledged” in the title refers to myself as much as to the book, and gives me something to aspire to.

I’ll probably never feel comfortable with the stigma of not making a living, and I’ll just have to live with that. But next time you’re at a social gathering about to engage a stranger in conversation, consider asking, “How do you spend your time?”

Katrina Van Grouw’s talk From Art to Zoology: A Story of Evolution was presented as part of September’s NWR virtual conference. Her books are published by Princeton University Press

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

19

CREATIVE WRITING

All in a day’s work Until one day brings an unexpected turn of events and some painful memories for Staff Nurse Cathy Simmonds. This piece of creative writing from Sarah Akhtar of Trentham NWR is intended for reading aloud.

Scene one: Cathy is in uniform at home, she stands in her hall clutching car keys and looks distressed.

First off, I didn’t recognise him. You know what they say, folk on trolleys all look the same! Porters wheeled him in, lifted him onto the bed and then left. His face was masked, my face was masked, his eyes were closed. Face pale, hair – what little he’s got left – was stuck to his head. The SHO handed me the readings and I saw his name printed on the sheet – David Carter, age 51. Dave Carter! There was no time say anything, what would I say anyway? He was unconscious. We had to attach him to a drip and catheterise him, then Colin, the anaesthetist, intubated him and before you could say “Royal Stoke” he was connected to a respirator.

I could feel my heart beating faster. It doesn’t usually affect me when we have to intubate patients – was my tachycardia related to meeting and touching again my erstwhile lover I wonder? I must say he don’t look much like the Dave I fell in love with, he hardly looked human lying in that bed with tubes in and out, eyes closed and a blank face. Twenty-five years is a long time isn’t it? I reckon I’ve changed a bit in all that time too.

Must go and strip off and jump in the shower.

Scene two: Cathy is at home, out of uniform, seated with a cup of coffee.

Dave’s worse today. Dr Jenkins came to see him – he’s the ICU consultant – thinks he might not make it. I haven’t told anyone about our past relationship, there doesn’t seem much point does there? I remember when we met back in ’95, it was a Saturday night up at The Place in Hanley. I’d gone with my friend Mary. Spotted him straightaway and fixed my beady eyes on him until he came over and asked me to dance. Can see him now, tall, very dapper, they were playing something by Simply Red and he wanted to do proper ballroom like they do on Strictly! We hit it off from day one, showed me photos later of his parents winning prizes for ballroom, bit like Fred Astaire and Ginger. Dave took me to some classic dances, some down at Trentham ballroom. He was so easy to fall in love with. It’s a strange feeling now to have him lying there so vulnerable in front of me. I expected to feel vindictive but now find I still have fond feelings for the two-timing bastard.

Cathy gets up and walks over to the sink to rinse her mug.

Perhaps I should tell the others at work? Dr Jenkins told ward clerk to notify Dave’s next of kin he’s in danger. I never met his wife, so she wouldn’t know me. Maybe it would be best I talk to someone about this. Mum’s gone so can’t ask her – she probably would have told me to switch off the machine!

Scene three: Cathy comes home with two bags of shopping and dumps them on the kitchen table. She looks very fed up.

I had to wash Dave today, the nursing assistants were all busy.

He’s still on the respirator, this Covid virus is such a strange 20

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

one, you just never know how things will turn out. I’ve seen some over eighties go home again while others die in their twenties. No logic to it.

Washing him today took me back to training days, how to turn, which bits to wash in which order, and the old joke: down as far as possible and then up as far as possible – so who’s washing “possible”? Don’t forget to talk to the patient in case they can hear you. I was rambling on to him about our first camping trip. How excited I was all those years ago when he said we would weekend away for my birthday. Turned out we were only going in an old tent he used for Scouts! Good thing the weather was fine, we drove out to the Peak District and he pitched the tent somewhere in Dovedale, I think. It wasn’t my first time but it was first time with Dave, we laughed at the cows

All my dreams were shattered by that one word mooing outside like they was cheering us on! That weekend was the first time I saw Dave naked and I reminded him of all this while I washed his 51-year-old body and, d’you know, he never even flickered an eyelid. He’s gained some weight I notice, quite the beer belly on him now, perhaps not so active these days!

Hard to believe that twenty-five years ago I loved the bones of that man lying there. Thought he was mine for keeps, even practised signing my name, Cathy Carter – liked the idea of an alliterative name! Oh well, it wasn’t to be. His readings seemed a bit better today, I hope he’ll pull through. I’ve never wished him any harm. After all, it’s our job to make folk better isn’t it?

Caring Cathy from Caverswall, that’s what they call me.

Scene four: Cathy is in a park, out of uniform, seated on a blanket sunbathing.

Phew! It’s hot today. Thank goodness I’m on a day off. I messaged Jenny for an update this morning and Dave’s improving. Jenny knows about me and Dave but I know she’ll keep schtum. While I had the iPad out I thought I’d do some research, convinced myself it’s necessary as I reckon he’s going to wake up one day and see me leaning over him. Put his name into Facebook and found him straightaway, turns out he’s got two kids, grown up now – from the photos they look much like their dad did back in ‘95. Photos of him and his wife too, I suppose I might meet her properly one day.

She pauses and looks around her at the park.

It was in this park here things started to go wrong. I remember he used to meet me here after work sometimes that summer. If I was on early shift on men’s surgical, or doing a split, he could grab half an hour for a snog and a sandwich – in that order. Always in a rush he was, my friend Olwen

MEMBER’S CORNER called him Dashing Dave – dashing in more ways than one! If she could see him now, she’d not call him that, he ain’t going nowhere. Funny, I haven’t seen Olwen for years, we lost touch when I moved down to Brum and got a job at the QE. Can’t believe I still have feelings for him, even after the way he treated me. Turned out I never really knew Mr David Carter. I think it was August Bank Holiday when I started to suspect. He’d told me he was going away with some lads from the rugby club, then me and Olwen took our bikes and a picnic up to The Roaches and I saw him in the distance. Not a rugby player in sight but a young lady on his arm. Oh well, water under the bridge now, best get home in time for clapping tonight, the street always expects me to stand there and receive their gratitude if I’m at home 8 o’clock on a Thursday. Perhaps there’s time to just look on Facebook again too.

Scene five: Cathy is in mufti, seated in her parked car.

Did a full day today. Dave’s definitely better but he’s had a tough ten days.

Dr Jenkins decided try him off the respirator, bit scary that was, doctors were worried he’d arrest while I was just terrified he’d open his eyes. Fortunately, neither happened. He’s still sedated but breathing on his own. What will I say when he does see me? Have I changed in twenty-five years?”

She looks in her car mirror to check.

Not much, good thing I had my roots done back in March.

I’m sat here on Parkway in Trentham, right posh it is, Dave must’ve done well for himself. Not snooping really, just call it background research. When I meet his family, reckon I’ll need to know a bit about them won’t I? Got the address off his records, drove straight here after work. Seen a young man go up the drive with a Jack Russell on a lead, spitting image of Dave – the young man I mean!

He’s still sedated but they’re reducing the dose, so likely tomorrow he’ll open his eyes. Does he remember the names I called him back in 1995 when I confronted him? Turned out he was two timing me good and proper as the floozy walking up The Roaches on his arm turned out to be his wife! All my dreams were shattered by that one word. He was married. I was nothing more than a diversion. My dreams all ended down at Trentham – not far from where I’m sat now – on Saturday 9 September, it’s as clear in my head as ever. I sobbed all the way home and next day handed in my notice at North Staffs. Didn’t come back for fifteen years. Then it was a failed marriage and a dying mum that forced me back to Stoke.

Scene six: Cathy is in uniform in the hospital canteen, sitting over a cup of coffee.

It was me had to telephone Dave’s wife. Dr Jenkins reckoned he would soon be conscious and asked me to make the call. Susie she’s called, turns out she’s really lovely, doesn’t deserve him, poor woman. She was sat beside him, all masked up, gown and all, when all of a sudden, his breathing changed and his eyelids fluttered. Susie grabbed his arm and was gazing into his face when his eyes opened. He looked around him, caught my eye and winked – the cheeky sod!

Cathy smiles as she remembers.

All characters are fictitious.

Members’ Corner Say it with flowers Those who attended The Diamond Day lunch in Birmingham were given a small packet of wild flowers to remind them of the day. There were twenty different varieties, perennials as well as annuals. Those of us who organised the lunches around the country were also given a little matchbox of seeds to sow.

All that has happened since has made the day all the more memorable, and we are so pleased that we were able to have at least that one celebration of our 60 years.

Hopefully they will all set seed and come up again every year to help us remember our special year – which has proved to be somewhat unexpected!

Thank you to those who sent photos, some of which are shown here. I was particularly pleased with the lovely blue borage which we like to add to our Pimm’s in the summer.

Some of our members were alone in lockdown and I know took great pleasure in watching their seeds develop, with changing shapes and colours throughout that difficult time.

If anyone else would like to, do please post your photos on the NWR Facebook page so we can share them.

Lynn Welsher, Solihull NWR

Bags of bags One of Reigate and Redhill group’s lockdown activities was making laundry bags for East Surrey hospital. During the emergency the staff needed bags to put their scrubs in after a shift, so they could put the entire bag straight in the washing machine once home, in order to reduce contamination. A call for pillow cases went out as these are ideal to convert to a drawstring bag, and can withstand a high temperature wash.

We have an outstanding hospital on our doorstep and were only too pleased to help.

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

21

MEMBER’S CORNER A tree survivor Hemingfords NWR held a gathering to mark the unveiling of the diamond anniversary tree that we planted in our village. On the right are LOs Linda Dampney and Annette Speer together with Treasurer Christine Batter. We would have liked to show all 18 who turned up but social distancing and lack of a wide angle lens prevented this. A glass or two of prosecco and piece of cake made the occasion a great success. We all agreed it was lovely to meet in person rather than on Zoom.

Soon after this happy event, high winds almost brought disaster, but we are happy to report that our special tree is still standing!

Rowan and rain Early in the year — during the old normal — Leicester South decided to plant a tree to celebrate NWR’s 60 years. A local nursery donated a rowan tree and, working with a local conservation group, Knighton Wild, we planted it in a newly formed conservation area. Around the tree we planted snowdrops for future years. It looked great, and we had plans to invite members past and present to a plaque placing ceremony, followed by a lunch, but so far this has been impossible.

While our area is still subject to local lockdown restrictions, we cannot even meet in gardens, so here we are, six at a time in a public place — in the rain.

We would love to hear your tree planting story. What sort of tree did you plant and where, was it via the National Forest scheme or did you do it independently, and what made you choose that particular tree? Email office@nwr.org.uk.

A is for acorns...

Being lively minded ladies, Boscombe East NWR took advantage of a slight relaxation in lockdown and a lovely sunny morning to hold a meeting in a member’s garden.

The topic was anything beginning with A, and a very varied discussion ensued, from the topical: algorithms, antibodies, alone/altogether, to Auguste (Renoir), acorns, almonds, American highways (Route 66), Amish, Aunt, allotment, advertising and antiques.

22

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

The photo (below left) does not show how socially distanced we actually were, but rest assured everyone was considerate of others.

...B is for black...

Here are some members of the Rotherham and Aston groups having our first face to face meeting since lockdown, in August (below right).

This was a recreation ground behind a member’s house.

We had submitted written contributions to the topic beforehand, (Black) which were circulated to all members before the meeting.

We were rained off after 90 minutes.

...or for barn Bakewell’s first face to face meeting (photo on next page) was in a barn! Hot chocolate, woollen throws and lively conversation gave us renewed energy for what is yet to come.

MEMBER’S CORNER

Letters The plastic problem is not new: A response A very commendable letter, “The plastic problem is not new” by Margaret Forbes, in the Spring issue of this magazine caught my eye. Everyone is, by now, well aware that the plastic problem is not new, and most of us realised long ago that we were accumulating goods made of non-biodegradable material.

Years of watching David Attenborough documentaries on television, long before Greta made an appearance, made sure the worsening situation was a topic for discussion.

Like many of us, I try my best to recycle and to be as green as possible, but the reality of my ordinary life kicks in. My efforts in separating rubbish into recyclable elements are thwarted by our local authorities emptying it into landfill sites or sending it overseas.

On this sunny, cold and windy day of the seventh month of the coronavirus crisis, here I am writing on my mostly plastic laptop, next to my plastic printer and plastic cordless telephone. My medication for life is in plastic phials, my toothbrush, hairbrush, buckets, most of the vacuum cleaner, my biros,

my treasured watercolour box, are all plastic. The list is endless, not forgetting my flexible friend which I use all the more now that cheques and cash are unacceptable. So, whilst I do sympathise with Margaret’s irritation about the overuse of plastic, give me the equivalent implements in stainless steel, wood, pure rubber and animal bristles — apologies to vegans — at the same price as their plastic counterparts, and able to be cleaned and disinfected in the same way.

I am trying to envisage where I could find replacements for these essentials to my daily life, without emulating the Flintstones. Not so easy, especially for the many people who have to live on a limited income. I am sorry to say that, unwittingly, I must have turned in Margaret of Kilmacolm’s worst nightmare.

Much as I like to buy food unwrapped, in this country shops and supermarkets sell most items wrapped, so that food lasts longer, isn’t contaminated and doesn’t suffer from customers squeezing the life out of it. I like to bring my fruit and veg home free of brown marks and fingerprints. And, having tried it once when short of shampoo, I will not be using a bar of soap on my hair again — the result resembled a giant Brillo pad.

In our area, the dustmen empty our (plastic) dustbins once a fortnight. I am very thankful that somebody is willing to undertake this unpleasant task, and would not want to make it even worse by throwing my rubbish straight into the bin.

Below is Harpenden NWR group’s scrapbook project.

We took the theme of Sixty Years of Changes for Women, and, as you can see, created a snakes and ladders board game.

I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like during the warmer months, and I have close neighbours to consider.

I don’t accept that my lack of action disgusts my children and grandchildren: my daughters barely remember milk or mineral water in glass bottles. I am all for bringing back the glass containers that we had in the old days but, in these days of “Elf and Safe Tea,” I cannot see that happening any time soon. Like me — a war baby — many of my contemporaries remember our parents’ and grandparents’ mantra of “waste not want not,” and have brought our children up accordingly.

Whether they bring their own children up in the same manner is a matter for debate, and a topic of several discussions in our NWR group.

Thank you, Margaret, for fighting the good fight on behalf of future generations. I will do my best to help as much as I possibly can, even if I have severe limitations.

This letter represents my own viewpoint, which is not necessarily that of other members of my group.

Danielle Welham Stirling and District NWR If you would like to write to us about this or any other issues raised in the magazine, please send a letter to office@nwr.org.uk

In Memoriam Lorraine Fleming 1948–2020 Bridge of Weir NWR is saddened by the loss of our long-time friend Lorraine. We are grateful to have enjoyed her warmth, humour, intelligence, and generosity of spirit, not to mention her wonderful and imaginative food offerings. We will miss her enormously.

Susan Lowe Nantwich and Audlem NWR are very sad to announce the loss of a muchloved and valued member, who attracted friends wherever she went. In 2014, Sue was diagnosed with multiple myeloma and, despite six years of outstanding care, died on 18 May 2020. She will be sadly missed, and we send our heartfelt love to her family.

Marie Catherine Moncaster It is with great sadness that Poynton 3 NWR announce the death of Marie Catherine Moncaster on 13 February 2020, aged 64. Following the death of her husband, she moved to Poynton to be near her children and immediately embraced local life, joining many activities. She always thought of others before herself and has left a huge void in people’s lives.

NWR Magazine Autumn 2020

23

Where is your nearest NWR group?

Are you interested in joining NWR? Contact us to find out more.

Can’t find a group near you?

Contact us about setting one up.

ENGLAND BEDFORDSHIRE Leighton Buzzard Luton & S Beds North Beds Villages BERKSHIRE Binfield Bracknell Burnham/Taplow Caversham Cox Green Earley Maidenhead North Ascot Wokingham (2) Wokingham Forest Woodley Woolton Hill BRISTOL Thornbury North Westbury-on- Trym BUCKINGHAMSHIRE Amersham (2) Beaconsfield Buckingham & District Gerrards Cross/ Chalfont St Peter Lacey Green & Hughenden Marlow Milton Keynes Milton Keynes (West) CAMBRIDGESHIRE Bar Hill Cambridge Elsworth Hemingfords Peterborough Somersham St Ives St Neots Wisbech CHESHIRE Appleton Bramhall Village Chester/Grosvenor Chester South/Eaton Congleton Crewe & District Culcheth Goostrey Holmes Chapel Knutsford Lymm Macclesfield Marple Mellor Nantwich Nantwich B Poynton (2) Romiley Tarporley (2) Timperley Wilmslow 1 Wistaston COUNTY DURHAM Durham City Hartlepool CORNWALL Cornish Alps Playing Place/Carnon Downs Roseland Truro CUMBRIA Carlisle Egremont Kendal

DERBYSHIRE Bakewell Chapel & District Chesterfield (2) Derby Dronfield Glossop Hayfield Matlock DEVON Exeter & Dist Horrabridge Ivybridge Newton Abbot Otter Vale Ottery St Mary Paignton Plympton Tavistock Yealm DORSET Boscombe East Broadstone (2) Dorchester Ferndown/WestMoors Poole Ringwood Weymouth (2) Wimborne EAST SUSSEX Battle & District Brighton Eastbourne Lewes Seaford (7) ESSEX Braintree & District Buckhurst Hill (2) Chelmsford Galleywood Hadleigh/Southend on Sea Harwich/Dovercourt Ilford Saffron Walden Shenfield/Hutton Upminster GLOUCESTERSHIRE Cheltenham & Charlton Kings Churchdown Cirencester (2) Gloucester Stroud HAMPSHIRE Barton on Sea Basingstoke Bishops Waltham Bramley Chandlers Ford/Eastleigh B&D Chineham & Old Basing Dibden Purlieu Farnborough Hook Hythe/Waterside Lee on the Solent Marchwood Odiham Park Gate Sherfield-on-Loddon Southampton Southsea Sway Tadley Totton Winchester Yateley

01603 406767 office@nwr.org.uk www.nwr.org.uk

HEREFORDSHIRE Hereford Ross on Wye

NORTHAMPTONSHIRE Brackley Great Houghton

HERTFORDSHIRE Abbots Langley Harpenden Hatfield Hemel Hempstead (2) Hertford/Ware Hitchin Letchworth St Albans (2) Tring

NORTHUMBERLAND Hexham & Dist Morpeth

ISLE OF WIGHT Medina KENT Beckenham Bexleyheath Canterbury (2) Dartford Edenbridge Folkestone Hayes Herne Bay Maidstone Medway Petts Wood/Orpington Whitstable LANCASHIRE Bolton Eccleston Lytham St Annes Ormskirk/Aughton Penwortham Rainford Rossendale & Bury North Thornton Cleveleys LEICESTERSHIRE Leicester South Loughborough Lutterworth Quorn LINCOLNSHIRE Boston Brant & Witham Deepings Grantham Grimsby/Cleethorpes Lincoln South Navenby & District Stamford Sudbrooke Waltham Welton LONDON Barnet Finchley/Whetstone Kenton MERSEYSIDE Burbo Bank Crosby Eccleston & Windle Formby MIDDLESEX Pinner Ruislip Twickenham/St Margarets NORFOLK Dereham Diss Downham Market Norwich Wymondham/ Attleborough

NOTTINGHAMSHIRE Arnold Bramcote Carlton Keyworth Sawley West Bridgford Worksop OXFORDSHIRE Banbury Henley on Thames Sonning Common Thame Wantage Witney RUTLAND Oakham SHROPSHIRE Market Drayton Newport (Shropshire) Shrewsbury SOMERSET Bath Chard Clevedon Congresbury Nailsea Portishead Taunton Wells STAFFORDSHIRE Alrewas Eccleshall Lichfield Marchington Newcastle-under-Lyme Rugeley Shenstone Trentham Wolstanton SUFFOLK Beccles Bury St Edmunds Haverhill & Villages Sudbury One/Long Melford Stour Valley/Sudbury SURREY Bookham Burgh Heath Byfleet Camberley Croydon Dittons / Esher Dorking Farnham Godalming Guildford Horsley Kingston on Thames/ New Malden Reigate & Redhill Sutton & Carshalton Woking North Worcester Park TEESSIDE Middlesbrough TYNE & WEAR Newcastle-uponTyne (West) WhitleyBay/Tynemouth

WARWICKSHIRE Coventry Dunchurch Kenilworth Rugby Warwick/Leamington –Spa WEST MIDLANDS Balsall Common Dudley Edgbaston Halesowen Harborne Central Hasbury Knowle Solihull Wolverhamton/ Tettenhall/ Codsall WEST SUSSEX Bognor Regis Chichester Hassocks & Area Horsham Shoreham-by-Sea (2) Steyning West Chiltington Area Worthing (Broadwater) WILTSHIRE Calne Central & District Derry Hill & District Devizes Marlborough Salisbury & District Swindon Trowbridge WIRRAL Heswall (2) Irby Prenton Wallasey West Kirby / Grange West Kirby / Newton WORCESTERSHIRE Cleeve Prior Droitwich Malvern Pershore Vale of Evesham YORKSHIRE Ackworth Aston Bedale & District Beverley & District Harrogate Horbury & District Leeds NW Northallerton Pickering & District Rotherham Sheffield (3) Wetherby Whitley York

SCOTLAND ABERDEENSHIRE Banchory Bridge of Don ANGUS Arbroath DUMFRIES & GALLOWAY Castle Douglas DUNBARTONSHIRE Milngavie/Bearsden

EAST LOTHIAN Longniddry EAST RENFREWSHIRE Giffnock Glasgow FALKIRK Falkirk FIFE Dalgety Bay Dunfermline Saline MIDLOTHIAN Edinburgh/Colinton NORTH AYRSHIRE Beith Largs PERTH & KINROSS Crieff Kinross Perth RENFREWSHIRE Bishopton Bridge of Weir Houston Kilbarchan STIRLINGSHIRE Stirling & District SOUTH LANARKSHIRE Strathaven

WALES Chepstow Hawarden Mold Radyr

365 Groups 6,019 members