O&AN | January 2019

Becoming the BEST Version of YOURSELF

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Your Nashville Symphony Live at the Schermerhorn MOZART, MENDELSSOHN & SCHUMANN CLASSICAL SERIES

JANUARY 22

SHERLOCK HOLMES

THE MUSIC OF JOHN WILLIAMS POPS SERIES

AND THE CASE OF THE MISSING MUSIC FAMILY SERIES

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BEETHOVEN’S SEVENTH

A Hilarious Concert of Classical Favorites

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FAX 615-246-2787 | PHONE 615-596-6210 OUTANDABOUTNASHVILLE.COM

STAFF Publisher: Jerry Jones jjones@outandaboutnashville.com

Managing Editor: James Grady jgrady@outandaboutnashville.com

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CONTRIBUTORS

CONTENTS

Writers: Craig Ammon, Emily Benedict, Julie Chase, James Grady, Josh Robbins

Photographers: James Grady, Cody Stallings

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Cover: James Mai, Barry’s Boot Camp (Model);

NASHVILLE RESIDENT JOINS KINKY BOOTS TOUR

Cody Stallings (Photography)

National Advertising Representative: Diversitas Media 3000 North Sheridan Road, Unit 15F | Chicago, Illinois | 60657 (312) 600-8823 ext. 712

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YOUTH SHARE HOPES & FEARS FOR 2019

OPPORTUNITIES

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Out & About Nashville welcomes volunteer writers, photographers and videographers throughout the year. If you’re interested in contributing to our publication, send an email to editor@outandaboutnashville.com with a resume, contact information and samples of your work if available. Our volunteer staff is unpaid, but contributors do receive credit for their work in our print publication and online. Those seeking an internship in journalism or mass communications are strongly encouraged to apply.

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BECOMING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF

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content of Out & About Nashville is copyrighted 2017 by Out & About Nashville, Inc. and is protected by federal copyright law and shall not be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. All photography is licensed stock imagery or has been supplied unless otherwise credited to a photographer and may not be reproduced without permission. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied.

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Nashville Resident Joins Kinky Boots Tour GEOFF DAVIN TO PLAY MR. PRICE IN 2019

JAMES GRADY

Kinky Boots, the Broadway hit, featuring songs by pop icon Cyndi Lauper, is a hit with audiences—especially LGBT audiences— everywhere. This musical celebrates the power of friendship to change outlooks and fortunes. Inspired by true events, the show takes you from a gentlemen’s shoe factory in Northampton to the glamorous catwalks of Milan.

Recently it was announced that local actor Geoff Davin will be joining the touring show, and he was kind enough to chat with O&AN before going on tour.

GRADY: Tell me a little bit about your theatre career? How did you get started, what are some the highlights for you?

DAVIN: I started acting professionally when I was 14. But when I was a young child I would rent any musical movie that I could get my hands on and record the entire thing, dialogue and all, on my little tape recorder. Then I’d steal my sister’s Barbies and match them up to my G.I. Joe dolls. The G.I. Joe dolls were much sexier than Ken and made for better leading men.

I would use the dolls and the recorded audio to stage full productions of these musicals on the small proscenium stage that my father built for us. My production of Hair (complete with naked dolls) was DEFINITELY one of my highlights.

One of the highlights of my adult theatre career was writing and performing in my original musical The First Church of Mary the Repentant Prostitute’s Fifth Annual Benefit Concert, Revival, and Pot Luck Dinner, which I premiered here in Nashville before bringing it to New York as part of the New York Musical Festival.

I played a female southern evangelist preacher named Adamenses Huckster. I wore a pair of killer heels in that show. So between that and playing Frank-N-Furter in Boiler Room’s Rocky Horror Show, I have spent my fair share of time in heels. And I believe, by the end of Kinky Boots, everyone wears heels at one point. So I’ll feel right at home.

GRADY: How long have you been in Nashville? What brought you here?

DAVIN: have lived in Nashville for 9 years. I’m originally from the Boston area. I went to NYU for musical theatre and stayed in New York for fourteen years before moving here. I was needing a change from the grind of New York and had started singing and writing for an altcountry band. So the music scene drew me here. I thought I’d be here for maybe a few years then go back to New York, but I fell in love with this city. Plus, I don’t think my dog would like New York very much. She’s a sensitive girl.

GRADY: How did your path lead you to Kinky boots? What are you most excited about?

DAVIN: Last year, I wasn’t doing a lot of performing. I was in a total rut and feeling seriously depressed. I felt like I was just marking time, and I didn’t see a way forward for me if I maintained the status quo. So

I knew I had to do something different and made a promise to myself that in 2018 I would do two things: learn to be better at living a life of gratitude instead of a life of wanting, and no longer be willing to accept a life that was not fulfilling!

So, in early January of 2018, I saw an audition posting for the Kinky Boots tour. On a whim I decided to fly to New York and audition.

Then I got a callback. And another. And another.

This was literally my first audition after deciding to make a change in my life. But then it became a waiting game for someone to leave the tour. I finally got the offer in October. But, in the meantime, I have (knock on wood) been working steadily this year.

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I don’t say that to toot my horn at all. I say that to stress that I firmly believe that it took me reaching a boiling point where I knew I couldn’t accept my life in its current state. You get what you ask for. And if you’re always living in a state of “wanting”, then that’s what you’ll get.

The challenge is to learn to be grateful for the opportunities that haven’t yet materialized and trust that they are in the pipeline. Last year I couldn’t see any path to performing in a national tour like this. Yet here I am.

In Kinky Boots, I play Mr. Price, the original owner of the shoe factory, whose son takes over and starts making the “Kinky Boots.”

I’m most excited to perform in Boston on the stage of one of the theatres I grew up seeing shows in. I used to sit there as a child dreaming about being in one of those tours and performing in that theatre. So, at 42 years old, young Geoffrey’s dream is finally going to be realized.

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Shining a Light

Our Youth Share Hopes & Fears for 2019

During their December meeting, the GLSEN TN SHINE team took a few moments to dream about 2019. Below some of their young people shared their fears and hopes for the upcoming year:

HOPE: For more activities and clubs to be inclusive of LGBT people. I hope more spaces will accept everyone for who they are and not just what they identify as.

ALEKSANDR, 17 FEAR: With more people knowing about the LGBT community, there also comes more stereotypes. Stereotypes aren't always accurate. I am not what you would think of when you think of a gay male. I worry about the impact of stereotypes in 2019.

BHW, 13: FEAR: People not taking LGBT issues seriously, because a lot of people like to disregard LGBTQ people’s struggle. If you disregard that, you disregard us.

HOPE: A more accepting community of allies that actually know how to help.

SHYLAMAR, AGE 17 FEAR: More LGBTQ youth completing suicide, because of not being accepted by others.

HOPE: More in-depth and accepting education of LGBTQ people. Staying away from stereotypes, and honest education, based on actual LGBTQ people, teaching more people what it actually means.

HOPE: For more people to reach out to other queer youth and talk to them, and to support them.

GEORGIA, 16: FEAR: What is happening in politics changes our community. What politicians have to say, and the laws they want to pass, it changes things in our community, so I’m worried about political impacts on the LGBT community.

GARRETT

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CHLOE, 16 FEAR: That I'll become complacent with where we are as a society and stop caring as much as I do.

HOPE: To learn about the different stories of people around the globe and to help fight against inequality in every corner of the world.

HOPE: That I will be able to have productive conversations with those that don’t agree with us, and realize that we have more in common than we have different.

GARRETT, 18 FEAR: My fear for 2019 is going to college in the fall and being an adult!

HOPE: My hope is that Congress will pass The Equality Act to ensure that members of the LGBTQ+ aren't discriminated against for being who they are.

DELIA, 18: FEAR: That our high school Gender and Sexuality Alliance will not last. Something might happen that results in it being disbanded again.

HOPE: Students and teachers will become more accepting of our GSA. I hope people will learn to tolerate its existence, and maybe even support it.

JOEY, 17 FEAR: Seeing the education system regress in inclusiveness and standards, becoming less accepting environments and seeing standards that do not help our future generations prepare for life.

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The GLSEN SHINE Team is a group of student leaders working to create safer schools and communities throughout Tennessee. The team members meet regularly throughout the year to develop skills, form a network of other youth leaders, and organize programs in the community that promote respect for LGBTQA+ students.

CHLOE

SHINE members are committed to being inclusive and responsible, open to learning, willing to examine their own privileges, and dedicated to developing leadership and activism skills.

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Will Russ, Clean Eatz CRAIG AMMON

As we welcome 2019, many of us have resolved to make positive changes in the new year. And it seems that eating healthier and “better self-care” are at the top of the list. Clean Eatz Nashville, located in Green Hills, can help Nashvillians achieve both of those goals. Doing so while enjoying delicious, convenient meals, will make sticking with those healthy eating habits that much easier.

Owner Will Russ has been a proponent of meal planning and prep for years, long before he opened Clean Eatz this past spring.

We are all busy, and few of us want to spend our weeknights grocery shopping and cooking. We just want something quick and easy. And, for many of us, that means settling for meals that are not as nutritious or delicious as we’d like.

Russ said that customers appreciate Clean Eatz for a number of reasons. Whether you are trying to lose, maintain, or gain weight, Clean Eatz has meal options to help in achieving those goals. And for those on a budget, affordability is key! With over 40 locations, Clean Eatz has emerged as one of the most affordable meal prep companies in the nation, offering a variety of meals accommodating varied lifestyles.

“This works because we’ve taken the guesswork out of meal prepping, we do the thinking for you,” said Russ. After struggling with his own weight and relationship with healthy eating habits, he and his partner Jamie found a local Clean Eatz Cafe in Greenville, North Carolina. “Meal prep made losing weight and staying on track easy: I looked forward to the meals I was eating.” Since starting his journey with Clean Eatz, Russ has lost over 75 pounds.

Of course, the meals taste great, and Clean Eatz offers a surprising variety, with a new menu each week including six freshly prepared refrigerated meals, as well as over 40 different frozen options in their grab & go section. The vast majority of the meals are under 500 calories, with the exception of higher protein meals.

“It’s important to look forward to your meal prep, otherwise you probably aren’t going to stick to your meal prep,” said Russ. The Blue Cheese Buffalo Chicken Sweet Potato Bowl was delicious and robust—comfort food without the usual guilt. The Parmesan Peppercorn Beef with potatoes and broccoli were tender and flavorful. The meals can be prepared in the microwave in just two-to-three minutes, heated in a skillet, or transferred to an oven safe dish and warmed in the oven.

The meal lineup includes low carb and no carb options, as well as options for dairy free, vegetarians, pescetarians, and gluten-free diets. “Our goal is to create variety, depending on your lifestyle and preferences you can find meals that work for you.”

Russ and his partner Jamie are fairly new to Nashville, having moved here in the summer of 2017. Until then, Russ worked at his family’s document management company for fifteen years. When they sold the business, he knew he wanted to make the leap to the

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JANUARY 2019

food service industry, but wasn’t totally sure in which direction he wanted to take it. But Russ saw firsthand how meal prep changed his life for the better and wanted to bring that to others.

It was important to find a city that could support the five or six Clean Eatz locations he hopes to open in the future. The couple also wanted to find a city that was culturally similar to their home in North Carolina.

“The journey to Nashville wasn’t easy, we said goodbye to friends, family and a community we loved,” Russ said. “Like so many we were both in search of more and chasing opportunity, but also creating opportunity in the world around us.”

Russ got involved in the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce soon after moving to Nashville. He’d been involved in the Greeneville Chamber of Commerce but found the Davidson County Chamber to be too big for him to effectively network or have an impact on the work they do. He finds the Nashville LGBT Chamber to be much more manageable.

He first joined to network and even make friends, which is a common reason for people to join. In fact, O&AN readers chose the Nashville LGBT Chamber as their favorite social group in 2018’s “Faves and Raves.” Russ knew that the LGBT Chamber does a lot of good, providing advocacy and educational organization that benefits our members and the broader LGBT community.

Russ has become increasingly involved in the Chamber, and Clean Eatz is hosting Brewing Up Business on January 17, 2019. They will have spread of food and samples, including items from their meal prep, as well as their café. It’s a fantastic opportunity for members or anyone interested in checking out a Chamber event to come mix and mingle with others in the LGBT business community.

One of Russ’ resolutions for 2019 is to become an LGBT certified business with both the Nashville LGBT Chamber and the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). Russ said that he doesn’t consider himself disadvantaged as a business owner because he is gay, but he does acknowledge that minority status does give him a leg up in the very competitive food industry.

“It’s not about me as an individual becoming certified,” he explained. “It’s about my business becoming certified and my team having greater access to opportunities because of that certification.”

NGLCC certification provides advantages to LGBT-owned businesses to help them grow, whether they are new, like Clean Eatz or have been around for years.

These benefits include being part of the NGLCC’s online database of certified businesses, access to a current list of supplier diversity and procurement professionals, use of the NGLCC Certified Business logo on marketing materials, and eligibility to receive sourcing opportunities e-mails from the NGLCC and its Corporate Partners.

And while Russ is determined to get that NGLCC certification to help expand his business and become more profitable, he said that this venture is about more than that. He is determined to stay focused on helping people live longer, healthier lives and positively impact-

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ing the world around us.

That’s his primary motivation to make Clean Eatz a success, and he means it.

With every story he tells or each example he provides about his customers and his employees, his passion for helping other people and lifting them up is so clear. “You have to happen to the world,” said Russ. “If you’re not lifting up the world around you, then what’s the point?”

When he talks about opening more stores in middle Tennessee, he talks about more and more people eating well in order to live healthier longer lives. He talks about creating more opportunities for his team and providing healthy affordable meal options for customers across middle Tennessee.

Russ encourages our readers to try Clean Eatz to focus on healthier eating. The meals are $7.60 or less per meal, and customers receive volume discounts at 10, 15, and 21 meals. Over the next few months, customers in surrounding neighborhoods and towns will have access to convenient satellite pickup locations!

Russ also has a special offer for O&AN readers! New customers can receive 50% off on up to 10 meals on their first meal plan order when mentioning this article at checkout in store! For more information, visit cleaneatz.com/location/loc/nashville.

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Becoming the BEST Version of YOURSELF James Grady As we rush headlong into a new year, many of us have made resolutions and pledged ourselves to transforming some aspect, or aspects, of our lives.

For some, these resolutions will involve career, budget, home ownership, etc., but for a LOT of us, they will involve various health and fitness goals.

Often, these resolutions are vague, like “lose weight” or “exercise more”, and way too often they begin with a gym contract and end with Netflix and a bag of takeout. Getting specific can help in holding yourself accountable for these commitments, though. So O&AN thought it might be interesting to talk with a local gay trainer, James Mai, about his fitness journey, his work as a trainer and how he keeps himself motivated, and get some of his suggestions for carrying through on this year’s fitness resolutions!

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Mai said he hasn’t always been athletic, though he was thin. “I have not always been athletic. I danced a bit in college but never lifted a weight. I was what you call ‘skinny fat’ and I didn't know any different. I only started truly working out three years ago, when I started in the entertainment industry.”

The motivation to get into better shape was work. “Fitness was a byproduct of having to keep up my looks for castings,” he explained. “I found a love for training because everyone is on a different path, but I knew that I enjoyed being on that journey to help others get to be their more confident selves.”

Training, of course, keeps Mai in the gym, and helping others reach their goals keeps him motivated. He trains at Barry’s Bootcamp in Nashville, and he’s clearly passionate about his workplace.

“Barry's Bootcamp has been my family for the past 3 years!” Mai said.

“There is a community of people that

JANUARY 2019

come together and actually encompasses what a fit family truly is.”

Barry’s describes it’s gym as “the room where everything becomes possible. Where you push through the ‘I can’t’s’ and ‘If Only’s.’ Where you run faster, lift more, lean out, quiet down.

This is what transformation looks like.

Where you become the best version of yourself.”

“The workout itself is designed for efficiency. The intervals and strength training combinations are proven to lean and tone your body. This isn’t a fitness trend. It’s just science. And it works,” the company says. “Then there’s the ‘thing’ that happens when the doors close, lights dim, and music turns up. There’s a palpable energy in the room that pushes you one step further. It’s the soul, body, brain revolution that’s uniquely Barry’s.”

Mai’s commitment to health continues outside the gym, though. “Outside the gym, I love dancing, and you can see me taking classes at DancEast to brush up on my technique or out and about just jamming to music. Dance is a great way to move your body and a cardio workout, if you are really get into it.”

It’s not all about what you do with your body: what you put into it matters as well. “Diet is a huge part of getting results that you want, in addition to time at the gym,” Mai explained. “I meal prep every week, so that I know what goes into my body and I can monitor the macros that I am consuming each day. There are plenty recipes and information about meal prep options to help you reach yours goals. Check it out, test it out, and choose what you like and don't like.”

Mai also doesn’t do something that might be a hard habit to break for some of us: “I also don't drink, so that helps keep off those unwanted calories that I don't need!”

Asked for some strategies he’d suggest for people looking to get healthier and keep those New Years resolutions,

Local Trainer

JAMES MAI

on His Fitness Journey @OUTANDABOUTNASH

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1. Try to exercise every day. Be active, whether it's a simple walk or run, bike ride, dance class, yoga, or swim. Daily exercise builds adrenaline, endorphins, pheromones, and testosterone—which are ingredients for the perfect healthy addiction.

Once exercise becomes a daily habit, you will miss it if something gets in the way.

2. Get a workout buddy. Friends don't let friends down. With a friend, you

can hold each other accountable and keep that motivation intact. Try a new studio together, take a class together, and laugh and share the joy of your journey together.

3. Vary your diet. Most people will eat the same thing every time, given the option. Think about how what you eat powers you through your activities. There are many types of diets out there. From keto or whole 30, paleo to low carb, research and try out what works for you. Even gradually incorporating aspects of these diets can help you towards your goals.

4. Get more sleep. Take naps, go to bed earlier, and give yourself more time to rest. Sleep volume is directly correlated to physical and mental health.

5. Focus on yourself and your feelings.

Often, people strive to lose weight or make muscle gains and focus on the scale to see their progress. Making change takes time and is not immediate. Instead of focusing on the numbers right away, focus on how you feel after a workout: strong after a lifting exercise, energized after cardio, or relaxed and connected after a yoga session. By focusing on how you feel rather than the scale, you are more inclined to stay motivated on your fitness journey.

He also had some suggestions for incorporating health goals into daily life.

“Being healthy is comprised of many parts: Mentally, physically, and emotionally. Filling these capacities takes time and needs attention and care. At the end of the day, you are working on living your best life, and, by living a healthy life, you impact not only how you feel but also how others feel around you.

“Mentally,” he explained, means “Keep learning. Feed your mind and continue to grow. Workout your mind and allow it to keep you informed and motivated. Eat well. Drink sensibly. Take a break from social media, because the perceptions versus the realities of posts on social media can mess with your emotions and how you think. Allow yourself to connect mind, body and soul.”

“Physically, working out and exercising allows you to get to your best self.

Like Elle Woods says in Legally Blonde, ‘Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.”

“And emotionally, how you feel about yourself feeds into how you perform. If you look in the mirror and you don't like how you look, you are less likely to want to go out and have a good

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especially those of us out of practice or new to trying to get in shape, Mai offered the following:

time,” he added. “By emotionally feeding yourself positivity, you are creating a more well-rounded version of yourself.

Every time you look in the mirror, tell yourself ‘I'm beautiful and worthy.’ These words of affirmation to yourself may seem silly, but are crucial to your health. Start believing that you are beautiful and worthy and that positivity will take strives in your life.”

For more information on Mai’s gym, visit barrysbootcamp.com.

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calories and do not truly fill you in the long term. Whole, minimally processed foods will keep you fuller, longer, with far less calories consumed.

If grocery shopping and cooking are out of the question, look into a healthy meal delivery companies, such as Eat Well Nashville (you can use code: bodybybuckley for 5% off). Services like Shipt, Amazon Prime Pantry, Kroger Delivery, etc., are life savers as well. Don’t let time be an excuse to not make healthy choices.

3) FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE GYM

Kickstart Your Fitness Comeback SOME STRATEGIES FOR KEEPING THAT RESOLUTION DANIEL BUCKLEY

The New Year is here and you’re ready to commit to finally achieving that summer body of your dreams! That said, getting started can sometimes be the hardest part. Here are some strategies for kickstarting your fitness comeback, and sticking with it through the year: 1) GET A PLAN TOGETHER Whether you’re wanting to pack on muscle or lose bodyfat, having a workout program to follow is key. You’ll be more committed to your workouts and more confident that you will see results if you have an outline to follow.

If you’re new to working out, start slow and steady with a 2-3 workouts per week to

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get your feet wet. Don’t stress over becoming an expert overnight. Just ensure that you increase your weights, reps, and/or sets as you continue to workout to guarantee progress!

NOTE: As with any new diet and exercise plan, as you get started it is key to consult experts: check with your doctor to make sure you are healthy enough for what you have planned or to consult on strategies for building up to that level. If you have no experience, it may be necessary to consult a professional trainer and dietician, at least to help you learn and plan!

2) SHOP THE GROCERY STORE PERIMETER Instead of opting for pre-packaged and processed foods, focus on filling your cart with fruits, veggies, and lean proteins. Processed foods, although convenient, are packed with

JANUARY 2019

Go to the gym and ask for a tour from the front desk. If you have a program (tip #1), then you can have them point out the machines or equipment you’re going to use. This will eliminate some intimidation when you go for your first workout.

On that note, if you do have a little bit of ‘gymtimidation’, then I advise going to the gym during off hours for your first handful of workouts. Weekends and midday hours are usually fairly slow at most gyms, if you can get there during those times. This will ensure you aren’t under time pressure to use a certain piece of equipment—instead, you can take your time learning the correct way to perform the exercise.

4) SCHEDULE YOUR WORKOUTS Just like a business meeting or a birthday dinner, put your workouts on your calendar. If it’s on your calendar, you are significantly more likely to exercise than if you chose to wing it.

Tips for scheduling: ● Ensure you allot an appropriate amount of time for your workout. I usually schedule my

one hour workouts for two hours as it includes: commute, warming up, working out, cooling down, showering and eating. ● Schedule your workout when you are at your prime. If you are a morning person, schedule your workout in the morning and vice versa. You’re trying to start a new fitness habit that isn’t necessarily the highlight of your day (yet); don’t make it harder by scheduling it when you aren’t at your best.

5) PREPARE AHEAD OF TIME Before you go to bed, ensure the following items are checked off of your list: ● Gym Bag Prepared: Clothes, toiletries, headphones, post-workout shake, etc. ● Lunch Planned / Prepared: Either pack your lunch to go or plan ahead where and what you will be eating for lunch. ● Snacks Handy: Protein bars (look for ones with a small list of ingredients), fruits, veggies, nuts, Greek yogurt, etc., all make great on-the-go snacks. ● Schedule Mapped Out: Spontaneity is great, but creating routines and habits ensures that you achieve your goals.

6) DISMISS THE ‘ALL OR NOTHING’ MENTALITY Just because you ‘messed up’ and devoured some Five Points Pizza last night, that doesn’t mean that you should throw your entire week down the drain by skipping workouts and eating unhealthy. Instead, acknowledge your indulgence of garlic knots, and get back on track.

It’s ok to make mistakes.

It’s ok to miss a workout.

It’s ok to eat a bad meal.

Just know that if you stay consistent overall, the results will come. The key is to not quit completely!

7) THINK LONG TERM Sure, you can achieve a fantastic summer body in 6 months, but don’t throw it away in the fall/winter to where you are stuck at ground zero again.

Focus on developing long-lasting habits, like the ones outlined above, so you will keep exercising and eating healthy all year long.

This sample workout can be done anywhere, anytime, with no equipment. It is not a recommendation, and any workout regimen should be developed in consultation with a professional to prevent injury.

However, it does demonstrate that, when it comes to getting healthier, all you need is to take the time.

DO 4 Rounds (As Little Rest As Possible Between)  8-15 Bodyweight (Incline, Decline Or Regular) Push-Ups (Modification: Kneeling Push Ups)  10-30 Russian Twists (1 Rep = Rotate On Each Side)

WHO AM I: Hi, my name is Daniel Buckley. I am a personal trainer based in Nashville, Tennessee that provides in-home and online fitness and nutrition coaching. I focus on making my workouts as effective and efficient as possible, as my clientele consists of busy professionals that keep a full work and social calendar.

HOW TO REACH ME: @bodybybuckley on Instagram bodybybuckley.com daniel@bodybybuckley.com

 30-60 Second Elbow Plank  10-15 Bodyweight Squats (Modification: Chair Squats) With any routine, try and increase the amount of reps you do each time you perform the circuit. (i.e. if you do 10 push-ups for all 4 rounds today, try and do 11 for each round next time) Ultimately, this is what ensures progression.

Overall, just stay consistent with the routines you develop. Results might come slower than expected, or desired, but your consistency will guarantee them over a lifetime.

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

17

LIVING WELL WITH HIV ,

When It s Cold as %$&#!

JOSH ROBBINS

“No, I just can’t anymore.”

I’ve said it a million times during the winter and the coldest months of the year. I have always hated cold weather. I have never been a fan of snow. I call Uber one hundred percent of the time when there is snow on the roads, because I do not know how to drive in that mess. I have never been snow skiing, and sitting outside in the cold weather around a bonfire is way less Kumbaya to me, and much more Thank You, Next.

Why do I have such distain for the winter? Who knows.

It could be Seasonal Affective Disorder, although it’s not diagnosed. I just googled it, and the symptoms sound about right to me. Winter definitely makes me SAD. But since I am also living with HIV, staying positive during the cold months takes a lot of extra work for me mentally, physically, and emotionally. But, after six years of living with HIV, I think I’ve finally figured some things out.

Here are some things I’ve learned that help me get out of my apartment and live my life during the cold winter months.

IT’S IMPORTANT TO TALK TO MY DOCTOR ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH. Sure, lots of people get a little down during winter, but it is imperative that I make sure that something else deeper isn’t happening—like depression or worse. The lifetime prevalence of depression for someone diagnosed with HIV is 20-40%, up to two times higher than someone negative making the risk of suicide 3-5 times higher.

So, I never take a chance that it’s not just me being an old scrooge during the winter months. I think it’s important to communicate with my doctor about any potential symptoms.

It may be uncomfortable to discuss, but there are treatment options.

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JANUARY 2019

I KEEP TRACK OF THE WEATHER SO I DON’T GET STUCK WITHOUT MY MEDS. What if it snows and I can’t get to the pharmacy? I need to make sure that I plan ahead so I don’t get accidentally thrown off my regimen. I’ve had this happen before. Not having access to my medication is dangerous for me—both physically and mentally—so, this one is always a priority for me, and should be for anyone who is HIV-positive. Keep tabs on where you’re at with refills. If a snowstorm is coming and you’re in danger of running out, refill the prescription early!

I EAT AS WELL AS I CAN, AND AM ALWAYS TRYING TO IMPROVE. “Stay Healthy by Eating Healthy” is a phrase I’ve always heard. It’s easier said than done for me, and I think for a lot of other people, too.

Why? For the longest time, I couldn’t cook anything more than simple spaghetti and lemon pepper chicken on my George Forman grill. Last winter, I discovered a bit of a solution.

Chicken pairs well with lots of different flavors, so I searched for other options besides lemon pepper seasoning. I found that barbecue sauce is great.

Ok, I know barbecue sauce isn’t always the healthiest, but I found a great article that helped me eat chicken like never before... 60 different ways, actually. I’ve been trying out these recipes and it’s helping me feel more confident in the kitchen.

Cooking for yourself feels great, and it’s usually healthier to eat a home-cooked meal than to order a takeout version. If I eat well, or at least fool myself into thinking that I’m eating well, I feel good. Fake it ‘till I make it? Maybe so.

I’M GOING TO GO ON A BUNCH OF DATES. This is my new strategy for 2019’s winter months—to actually go back to old school dating...like, on a real date,

with a real person. I use DatingPositives.com to find that perfect group of people to choose from. The colder it gets, the warmer I’m going to try and make my dating life this year.

Will it work? Who knows, but at least I’ll meet a bunch of new people and be forced to look good during the winter.

... But since I am also living with HIV, staying positive during the cold months takes a lot of extra work for me mentally, physically, and emotionally ...

AND I’M MAKING ONLY ONE NEW YEAR RESOLUTION. I am tired of always being late everywhere. 15 minutes late used to be my norm, but it’s turned into 25-30 minutes late everywhere, all the time. I can blame it on the traffic or even my HIV slowing me down, but my plan going forward in 2019 is to make the conscious choice to stop being late.

Hopefully, having a singular goal will give me something to focus on instead of using my energy to lament the drag of winter’s coldest months. By only having one resolution, instead of my usual laundry list of items for self-improvement, I think I will be more likely to get it right.

MORE THAN ANYTHING, I’M GOING TO TRUST MY INSTINCTS AND STAY POSITIVE.

KATE NELSON, REALTOR® 615 / 268-0319 615 / 383-6964 kjcnelson@gmail.com DIRECT

OFFICE

realestatewithkate.com

I am going to listen to my own voice and not get overwhelmed or frustrated by being cold. I am going to choose to keep my heart warm and my attitude positive. Living with HIV has taught me the physical result of choosing to keep my mental health in focus and staying positive.

Ultimately, winter will end, and the hot boys will shed all those clothes sooner rather than later. With that, I need to go do some sit-ups and pushups. 2019 will be MY year. Hopefully it’ll be YOUR year, too.

Happy New Year!

Josh Robbins is an award winning sexual health advocate, author of the site imstilljosh.com and spokesperson for DatingPositives.com. He was nominated for a GLAAD media award in 2017 and recently won the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association’s Excellence Award in the blogging category.

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19

BUYING A HOME IN

2019

Making This New Year’s Resolution a Reality

BY EMILY BENEDICT

Is buying a home this year one of your resolutions? For most, this is life’s largest purchase. It requires much planning, and it can be overwhelming, especially if it’s your first home. I’m here to tell you that there is no need for that trepidation.

Most people start their home search by surfing sites such as Realtor.com, Zillow, and Trulia. That’s understandable—however your real first step should be to hire a Realtor to represent you.

Searching online at these sites takes a lot of time.

A Realtor can set up an automatic search via the MLS (multiple listing service) for you, allowing you to receive emails about new properties, or price reductions which put a property in your budget. This is a HUGE time saver. And, in a market like Nashville, where great properties sell in a matter of days, getting in to see a property within a day or two of it going on the market can be an enormous advantage.

So, how do you pick a Realtor? You need to find someone who is not only great at his or her job, but someone you like, as you’re going to be spending a lot of time together. Get together: have coffee and chat. See if you click. Determine whether that person has the experience, customer service, and understanding of the market that you’re looking for.

Notice how quickly the Realtor responds to your initial phone call or email. If it’s not within 24 hours, that’s a bad sign. This business moves fast and deals can be lost if your Realtor doesn’t respond quickly on your behalf during negotiations.

Be prepared to sign a buyer’s representation agreement. Legally, before you disclose confidential information to your Realtor, you should have a signed buyer representation agreement. That helps to ensure that your Realtor will keep your private information confidential, among other things.

Once you’ve found a Realtor, step two is to get preapproved by a mortgage lender, allowing you to understand how much you

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can comfortably afford to spend on a home, your monthly payment, interest rates you qualify for, loan options, and the like, and to put an offer on a home.

A good mortgage lender is crucial to ensuring a smooth transaction. A bad lender can make the process difficult for everyone involved, put your closing in jeopardy, or leave you paying a higher interest rate than you should have. That’s why it’s important to work with the best.

PAPERWORK TO GATHER

Each lender has slightly different documentation requirements for the preapproval process, but, in general, expect to provide documents such as: • A completed application (lender will provide this) • Recent pay stubs (past 30 days), W2’s (past two years), Tax Returns (past two years), and statements for assets on the application (two most recent months, or quarterly statement from checking, savings, 401k, mutual funds, individual stock accounts, IRA’s, etc.)

• Corporate Tax Returns (if you are selfemployed and own more than 25% of the company)

GETTING A PREAPPROVAL LETTER

Upon application, you should usually receive a pre-approval letter in 2-3 business days. The lender may ask for additional documentation.

Since the housing bubble burst in 2008, underwriters have become much stricter in the loan approval process.

In addition to a preapproval letter showing the amount you can afford to purchase, ask your lender to show you the monthly payment for that amount, inclusive of taxes, insurance, and mortgage insurance. Make sure you are comfortable with the payment required for the

JANUARY 2019

amount in the preapproval letter. Once you have received your preapproval letter, forward it to your Realtor for your file, so when we are ready to submit an offer it will be available.

ASK ABOUT FREE MONEY

Tennessee, in addition to some banks, offer free money for homebuyers under certain conditions (based on income, credit score, etc., or funds for specific neighborhoods). If any of these programs interest you, talk to your lender to see if you qualify.

GET A LOAN ESTIMATE AND UNDERSTAND YOUR CLOSING COSTS

In addition, mortgage lenders will provide you with a loan estimate, which will provide an estimate of the closing costs you’ll need to pay on top of your down payment and show exactly what fees the mortgage company is charging.

Make sure you understand the fees. Generally, we estimate closing costs to be approximately 2.5% of the purchase price of the property.

Your mortgage lender can provide you with more detailed estimates based on your exact preapproval price. Remember, these closing costs are due at closing.

A good Realtor and a good Lender will help with the many steps along the way. One of my favorite activities is helping my clients build wealth through buying real estate, no matter how large or small. It is an investment that, over time, will provide you not only a place of your own, but also equity growth.

With the help of the professionals you employ, you can work towards your 2019 goal of home ownership.

For more information, please contact me or any of the trusted advisors you already know.

Emily Benedict is a Realtor working with buyers, sellers, investors, and developers throughout Middle Tennessee.

HEALTH

COUNSELING & PSYCHIATRIC HEALTH

REAL ESTATE

Dental Services East Side Smiles 7 North 10th Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-227-2400 Eastsidesmile.net

Individual & Couples Therapy Barbara Sanders, LCSW / John Waide,PhD,LCSW 2016- 21St Ave South / 2323- 21st Ave South, Ste. 401 Nashville, TN 37212 615-414-2553 / 615-400-5911 Dignitytherapynashville.com

Sheila Barnard, Realtor, THEREALTYASSOCIATION 1305 Murfressboro Road Nashville, TN 37217 615-385-9010 cell 615-424-6924 Sheilabarnard.realtyassociation.com

OPTOMETRIST

PERFORMING ARTS

Look East 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-928-2281 Lookeastnashville.com

Nashville Symphony Schermerhorn Symphony Center One Symphony Place Nashville, TN 37201 615-687-6400 Nashvillesymphony.org

Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Bradley Bullock, MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 Coolspringsinternalmedicine.com Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza Skyline Medical 615-371-1210 615-724-0066 Npspharmcay.com BARS & NIGHTCLUBS PLAY Dance Bar 1519 Church Street Nashville, TN 37203 615-322-9627 Playdancebar.com Tribe 1517 Church Street Nashville, TN 37203 615-329-2912 Tribenashville.com

Do you think you might be lesbian, gay or bisexual?

Are you in the midst of coming out and have questions or feelings you are experiencing?

Are you looking for a tribe of people who get it? HTCC provides a safe and confidential space for secular dialogue with those who are exploring their sexuality later in life. Come and help us build a community who understands and supports you.

Emily Benedict, Realtor, VILLAGE REALESTATE 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-585-1258 BSLNashville.com Kate Nelson, Realtor, VILLAGE REALESTATE 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-383-6964 Realestatewithkate.com

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES Bart Durham Injury Law Office 404 James Robertson Parkway Nashville, TN 37219 615-338-6177 Bartdurham.com

SPIRITUALITY Holy Trinity Community Church 6727 Charlotte Pike Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-3838 www.htccnashville.com

John Cannon Studios 1108-C Woodland Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-496-1259 Johncannonart.com

ORGANIZATIONS Nashville Humane Association 213 Oceola Avenue Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-1010 Nashvillehumane.org

SHOPPING Wags & Whiskers Pet Supplies & Dog Wash 1008 Forrest Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-228-9249 Wagsandwhiskersnashville.com

Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce P.O. Box 330971 Nashville, TN 37203 615-507-5185 Nashvillelgbtchamber.org

“No matter who you are, or where you are on your journey, you are welcome HERE!”

Join us on Tuesdays this winter/spring: January 8 at 7pm; February 12 at 7pm; March 12 at 7pm, April 9 at 7pm

www.htccnashville.com

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

21

OVER

the RAINBOW

GROWING PAI N S The “later in life” queer journey has its challenges...

The last time I had been inside an Episcopal church was back in the early 90’s. This year, I was to see daughter-unit sing with the Major Minors, and had not even thought about where I was going. I walked inside that evening and WHAM! There it was…

My past was there to greet me. Only then did I realize that classmates from my church-affiliated college may be present in the audience to see the kids sing….

Classmates who did not know that “he” had come to identify as “she” ... or Jewish ... or openly queer.

This was freaky. Not uncomfortable (hey, these were Episcopalians), just truly freaky. One thing is becoming crystal clear as this transition moves along - Soulmate and I are changing fast. We’re growing more comfortable in the LGBTQ+ world, and less attached to the straight one.

Welcome home, I guess...

How did I get here? The short version: Two friends of mine came out, went through hell, were embraced by the local community, and seemed better off for it.

I supported and encouraged them both from afar, then disappeared into my side bedroom to cry my eyes out.

This was the second time in my life I have had to do this. The first time nearly killed me. I knew where I belonged....

Well, “we,” really. Soulmate was fairly comfortable with the lavender situation, as was I, and she had always known that I was a girl inside from when we began dating in college: we were both queer from day one, never been a problem. But the prospect of turning fifty in a few years, with a male body and an artificial male persona, was finally beginning to take its toll.

Roughly twenty-five years before, we had contemplated “Operation Switcheroo” on my part—dtransition into a lesbian woman, followed by the surgery.

However, we also wanted to have kids one day, and the surgery was just too new to

make us comfortable. So those plans were shelved.

Fast forward to 2014: “Honey, remember Plan A?” asked I. “Um...yes?” she responded.

“How serious were you?” I continued.

“Serious,” she answered, followed by the pregnant pause, before continuing.

“You ready?” Soulmate realized the time had truly come.

“Yeah,” I said.

Her, “Go for it,” was followed by a kiss.

Deal sealed, and we have never looked back. All is well, but, to be very honest, we’re kind of paying for it. You don’t exactly earn brownie points in this community by living as goody two shoes former-Episcopalians, but this is us, and we are growing more comfortable with this truth every day.

The hardest part about our return to the tribe is feeling like complete outsiders to the vast majority of you out there.

No horrible coming out experience, no divorce history, no previous naughtiness (Episcopalians, folks), not to mention all the terminology has changed and the younger folks get VERY upset when you fail to use the new descriptors or pronouns.

It’s sad, funny, and frustrating for the two of us, all at the same time, I’m tired of the eye rolls when I talk about this with new friends. Yes, your coming out journey was far more horrible, but at least you have someone to talk to who can relate.

We are pretty much it.

Welcome to the post-mainstream. I guess we are in the vanguard. Sigh…

Let me speak for just me here: I am doing my best to get up to speed on how the majority ticks thirty years after I chose Soulmate over a guy. Why Soulmate?

Because I love her. She could easily have been a “he”, but she got there first.

Soulmate was my best friend before she became my life partner; I have no regrets.

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local trans woman

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JANUARY 2019

ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

Why did so many bisexuals like us run away from the community, back in the day? We all have our reasons, some of which sound like poor excuses really. I argue that a major reason we have some pretty strong ally support is that there are many people like us out there, who have grown up and may be attempting to atone.

It’s the same inside our community concerning transgender and non-binary people. We are all attempting t’shuvah (return, course correction). Please do not disparage any of us when we make honest mistakes, especially concerning language, because we will. Just help us to understand who you truly are, and we will show up for you.

It likely would have been far easier thirty years ago for Soulmate and I to have blown up our relationship and come out individually way back when. You tend to get a group hug for that. Equally, it indeed was far, far easier to pretend to be straight.

We do regret that approach.

But we are here because we belong, and hopefully setting an example for our kid too. No more eye rolls please. Just show fellow queers like us how to be better at this. That’s all, and thank you in advance...

Because the late bloomers amongst us need all the help we can get.

Shake it up.

Stir it up.

SINCE 1888 FourRosesBourbon.com

Be mellow. Be responsible.

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