O&AN | February 2019

BUILDING BRIDGES MEET METRO NASHVILLE PD’S NEW LGBTQ LIAISON

INTRODUCING A NEW LGBT FILM COLUMN + AN INTERVIEW WITH AUTHOR GREG HOWARD 2 FEBRUARY 2019 / VOLUME 19 / ISSUE 02 FIRST ISSUE FREE - ADD’L COPIES 50¢ EACH

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CONTRIBUTORS

CONTENTS

Writers: Emily Benedict, Julie Chase, Casey Coutermash, James Grady, Josh Robbins, Jason Shawhan

Photographers: James Grady

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Cover: Officer Catie Poole (Model); James Grady

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FEBRUARY 2019

HRC Announces 2019 Nashville Equality Dinner Event Returns to Renaissance Hotel in March STAFF

PHOTOS COURTESY OF HRC NASHVILLE

The Human Rights Campaign has announced its 24th annual Nashville Equality Dinner, the state’s largest fundraiser for LGBTQ rights. This year’s dinner will again be held at the Renaissance Hotel downtown on Saturday, March 2, 2019, with reception and silent auction beginning at 5:30 p.m.

Dinner chairs Eric A. Patton, Katie Nipper, and Brittney Smith Reynolds reflected on the success of last year’s dinner and are looking forward to another record-breaking year. Nipper, the 2018 auction co-chair, and Smith Reynolds, the 2018 volunteer coordinator, stepped up as first-time dinner chairs for this year’s event. They join Patton who is chairing for the third year in a row.

This is the first time the Nashville dinner chairs have been majority female, and Smith Reynolds is the first African American woman to chair this event.

“HRC Nashville’s commitment to diversity can be seen in our local steering committee. This year our membership now includes more women and people of color than ever before. We’ve worked hard to make this a welcoming, inclusive group that affords everyone a seat at the table.

The local board of governors decided it was imperative for this commitment to reflect in our dinner leadership,” said Board of Governors member and Chair Emeritus, Meredith Fortney.

“Last year’s dinner was easily my favorite of all the dinners I have attended. Not only did we raise more money and welcome more guests than ever before, we brought home a ton of awards for our efforts.” said Patton.

Nipper replied, “We were recognized at a national level for Dinner of the Year, Auction of the Year, Most Corporate Growth, Co-Chair Team of the Year, and several more awards from the Human Rights Campaign national organization.”

Smith Reynolds added, “Nashville received over 20 awards and certificates for our efforts last year, far surpassing anything we’ve done in years past. We are thrilled to show everyone what the 2019 dinner has in store.”

This year, Bridgestone North America returns as the long-time presenting sponsor for the 2019 HRC Nashville Equality Dinner.

“Bridgestone has been a great partner and supporter of the Human Rights Campaign over the years. As a local pioneer in marketing to the LGBTQ community, it has been a leading donor to the equality fight from the very beginning. This year, Bridgestone is working harder to advance equality internally by using the Corporate Equality Index as the standard metric and working to advance equality for all employees.

We’re honored to welcome Bridgestone back for a twelfth year as presenting sponsor,” Patton said.

The Belcourt Theatre will receive this year’s Community Leadership Award for its commitment to bringing LGBTQ films to Nashville. Films with LGBTQ themes are not always shown in mainstream theaters, which is how the Belcourt became a flagship safe space for our community to

We were recognized at a national level for Dinner of the Year, Auction of the Year, Most Corporate Growth, Co-Chair Team of the Year, and several more awards from the Human Rights Campaign national organization. watch, learn, and grow through inclusive and diverse film.

“As a native Nashvillian, I’ve been going to the Belcourt ever since I was a child. When LGBTQ- centered films are released, they can be hard to find in larger chain theaters. Last year’s Boy Erased and The Miseducation of Cameron Post told stories of conversion therapy camps and the impact these experiences had on LGBTQ youth and their families. When no other theaters would show them, my friends and I went to see them at the Belcourt,” said Nipper.

Reynolds agreed. “They have been the home for movies about us and our community. This commitment to our community makes us feel welcome, wanted, and appreciated. They’ve supported the LGBTQ community in Nashville for a long time and we’re proud to honor their work in making a safe place for our community.”

Tickets for the 2019 HRC Nashville Equality Dinner are on sale now. To purchase, visit hrc.org/boxoffice. If you are interested in becoming a sponsor, donating to the silent auction or placing an ad in the dinner program book, please email info@hrctn.org.

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Listening to The Whispers of a Tragedy Author Greg Howard Explores a Childhood’s Loss JAMES GRADY

Local author Greg Howard grew up on the coast of South Carolina in a strict, conservative Christian environment, where the tragic loss of his mother at a young age would force him to escape into the arts: singing, playing piano, acting, writing songs, and making up stories.

After Nashville, Tennessee after college, Howard would finally come out and, after a long holding pattern in the music industry, eventually get serious about writing books. He stumbled into writing for young adult and middle grade audiences, but he has brought those genre’s readers a sensitive and realistic depiction of the lives

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they live. His debut young adult novel, Social Intercourse, has been described as provocative and hilarious.

Last month, Putnam/Penguin released his first middle grade novel, The Whispers, which is one part mystery, one part selfexploration.

Howard sat down with O&AN to discuss his writing, and the very personal look into his past the novel provides.

GRADY: Why don’t you tell us a little bit about the book?

HOWARD: The Whispers is a story about a boy growing up in South Carolina,

JANUARY 2019

in the country. He’s 11 years old and his mother goes missing. And he believes that the police aren’t doing everything they can to find her. And he feels like he’s becoming a suspect, because he can’t remember what happened that day.

That ties into a bedtime story his mother told him about mythical creatures called the Whispers, who know all the secrets to the universe. So, Riley believes that if he can go and find the Whispers in the woods, they will help him find this mother. Of course, none of that turns out the way he thinks it will.

It’s really a story about childhood trauma and being isolated as a gay kid in the South.

GRADY: This is very different from your last book…

HOWARD: The audience for my last book, Social Intercourse, was young adult, of course, and it was pretty raunchy and all that. This is not that at all. This is very sweet, and a lot of heart. But it came from a very personal place.

GRADY: But there’s still an explicitly LGBT angle to this story?

HOWARD: Yes, there is, but age appropriate, because you have to be careful with middle grade, you know... but yeah, he has a crush on an older boy, and, without giving anything away, I like the way it develops and that it’s not a tragic kind of story.

Remember when we were kids and we would fall for these older boys? And it was never a good thing!?

GRADY: So you said that it has personal resonance? Is there anything that you can tell us to shed light on that?

HOWARD: Yeah, it has a personal resonance in that ... especially because the main character is a gay kid who’s selfaware in the South and... I mean I was probably five years old when I knew I liked boys—that was never a mystery. So you feel so isolated and like nobody really knows you. And so that’s where a lot of the personal resonance comes in.

The family dynamics are also very, very personal. My mother actually passed away of cancer when I was young, and the way that touched my family and, therefore, me affected me for the rest of my life. The way my dad kind of shut down emotionally, kind of left me my brother on our own. The way my grandparents were just so grief stricken … there was just no air in the room for the children’s grief, you know? So we just kinda had to figure it out our own, and that was very traumatic.

GRADY: So how old were you when your mother died?

HOWARD: I was five, and she was only 26... So she was a kid. I think that was what affected the community... She was a beauty queen, which is referenced

in the book. She was only 26 when she got cancer! And back then—back in the day—that was like six months and you were gone. So it really hit the little town really hard and especially the grown-ups in my life...

When my mom passed away, I remember all the stuff that was hers just disappeared. So not only was she gone— and nobody explained to me why she was gone—none of her stuff was there… And the pictures were gone, and the photo albums disappeared.

I actually found out years later that my older brother had taken the photo albums, because I was the mama’s boy, he was daddy’s boy. And he felt like he didn’t have a piece of her. So he actually swiped all the photos and he still has them…

GRADY: Fairy tales are in the in the background of this book. Is that something that you had an interest in as a child?

HOWARD: Yeah, I had a very vivid imagination, because, in the absence of there being stories told about my mom…

Nobody would talk about her, I mean they put her pictures away, we couldn’t ask questions, it was too painful for the adults.

So with the absence of all those memories, I just kind of made up my own stories…

I had this one memory of the Christmas parade when I was very young.

And I remember seeing her up on the back of the convertible in the white gloves and pillbox hat, waving. And I’m standing there, you know, waving back to her. And I’m so proud... I thought she was Miss Georgetown. And then I realized… Years later, I came across a photo of her sitting on the back of that car waving. And I looked down at the date, and it struck me that it was three years before I was born.

So I had manufactured this memory that I thought was real from seeing that photograph as a kid. But, yes, the mythical wood creatures, the magical realism. I mean, I don’t know what gay kid doesn’t have a great imagination. A lot of that comes, I think, from the isolation... When you’re in a place like that, you’re in your own little world. You have to be…

GRADY: You’ve mentioned the isolation gay kids feel… How does that play into your mission as a writer?

HOWARD: I really hope this book reaches those kids out there that feel isolated. I don’t know if you... I felt like I was the only gay kid in the world. And I know there’s still got to be kids like that out there.

I’m hoping that this book will reach those kids. And they’ll know that they’re not alone, that there’s nothing wrong with them. There is a little bit of head-butting with religion in this book.

Riley doesn’t understand, for instance, why everybody prayed so hard for God to bring his mama home, and He didn’t. He doesn’t understand why he prays to God to not like boys, and he still does... All those questions I had. You know, I spent the first 20 years of my life trying to pray the gay away. News flash: it doesn’t work.

So I really hope it just reaches those kids. And I’m sure there will be some adults, some gatekeepers that don’t want it to reach those kids. But we can only do we can do.

GRADY: So representation is a major reason why you tell these stories about kids and don’t just leave the sexuality portion out altogether?

HOWARD: When I was that age I would have loved to have books that I could see myself in. So, I’m okay with being that guy that writes about gay kids.

I’m fine with that...

If somebody wants to say, why do you always have to write about gay kids ... it’s because there’s a ton of books out there about straight kids and non-queer kids. And that’s fine. It’s just not what I wanted to do.

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I’m actually working on a book now.

And I started with the main character being a straight kid, and it was fine, but I didn’t have the passion for it. I remember when I was that age. I read, and I read.

And I looked for me in these books. I never could see me, you know?

And this book is so vanilla! There’s a SINGLE chaste kiss between two boys... I know people are going to say I’m trying to shove an agenda. I’m not. I’m just trying to let those kids know that I see them...

I’ll be the guy who writes for them and people can say what they want to...

GRADY: What do you hope readers will take away from the novel, besides the gay kids who’ll be able to see themselves clearly in your story?

HOWARD: There is a message that I would like to point out in The Whispers,

because the world is just so horrible right now... Everything seems so dire and hopeless that I made a theme in The Whispers of “Why not hope?”

When everybody else’s given up on finding his mother, Riley says that his mom always told him, “Why not hope?” So that’s his driving force through the book: why not hope that she’s still out there, why not hope that I can find her, why not hope that the Whispers are real?

I’m pushing the hashtag #WhyNotHope because I want people to remember that you’ve just got to choose it, you’ve got to choose to be hopeful even when it’s not so easy.

For a more extensive version of this interview, where Howard discusses the real-life origin of the Whispers myth, the hardest part of writing for children, and more visit Outandaboutnashville.com after the February issue is released!

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Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Acceptance Jewish GLSEN Teen Reflects on Finding Community CASEY COUTERMASH

Several times in my life, I have felt that I am different.

When I was younger, I was the only Jewish kid in my entire school of hundreds of students.

I was the only one who was concerned by the overabundance of learning about Christmas, when compared to other holidays. Year after year, I was the only one who would ask, “When do we learn about Chanukah?”, and get uncomfortable looks from my teachers.

I wanted so badly to be normal, to fit in with the other kids. Instead, I remained “that one Jew,” the one everyone looked at when the Holocaust is mentioned and the one kids asked to recite the Hebrew Chanukah prayer.

When I got a little bit older, I found some new friends, and suddenly the Jewish population went from one to three. I was no longer the odd one out; I was, finally, one of the odd few out.

I was never terribly close with these two, but just knowing that they were like me and understood me was a gift like no other. I knew that they empathized with being overshadowed.

I knew they were used to the not-so-subtle looks at the mere mention of Hitler or Nazis. I knew they had grown up feeling ignored, less important, and even alienated, as I did, and I was equal parts apologetic and relieved. I was sorry they had grown up the same way, but I was infinitely glad I wasn’t alone.

Then we got to middle school. I learned more about myself.

With this self-discovery, I was back at square one; I realized that I was gay. I tried so, so hard to hide it, and it worked! The strong homophobia I was surrounded by was painful, but I hid behind it.

I turned my cheek; I let it go.

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FEBRUARY 2019

I wanted so badly to have someone to talk to. I wanted so badly to be “normal.” I wanted so badly to have a crush— just one—that was on a boy. One that might be reciprocated.

I was the one who sat and internalized the homophobia that surrounded me and amplified it in my head, hoping one day I’d wake up and I’d be normal… Hoping I’d wake up and I wouldn’t be alone.

Then I got to eighth grade, and my prayers were answered!

I made new friends, and slowly but surely pulled together the confidence to tell them I was … not straight. That was when they really shocked me. Not only did they accept me, no questions asked, but they told me that they were … not straight, too!

I went home that day and cried.

According to a diary entry from November 18, 2015, it was the first time I cried happy tears about being gay. I had fit in! I wasn’t alone! Again!

Cue sophomore year of high school, and, you guessed it, with the continuing self-discovery that comes with growing up, I realized, again, that I was alone. I had spent years wondering why I had always felt a sense of being off-kilter, and I had finally figured it out.

I had learned a lot from my time reading and hearing about the LGBTQ+ community, and I discovered that my inner turmoil was because of uncertainty with my gender. I figured out that I am nonbinary. I wrote those words in that order for the first time September 3, 2017, at one in the morning, in the same diary that I had shared my ecstasy when finding community in middle school.

I felt so confident saying that the first time! Until, of course, I got to school the next morning. It was here that I was reminded that outside of my bedroom, the world is less accepting. Outside of my blue walls, there were gender roles I would have shoved down my throat. I spent months trying to convince myself that I was cisgender… Months telling myself that I was a girl… Months telling myself that I couldn’t possibly be nonbinary!

I figured that if I drilled it into my head enough, I would be okay with it. I’d agree with my vagina. I would be a girl.

But then, it happened again. I discovered that I wasn’t alone! I made more friends, adding to both my “Jew Crew” and my “Gay Group.” It has made me so infinitely happy, and the feeling of belonging is back. I no longer felt isolated, and finally, something has clicked.

I realized that, no matter what, I am not alone. I continued to find groups of people like me, no matter how different I was.

I have learned that nobody is going to be just like you. No one has a carbon copy. Nobody else is complexly designed identically to you.

I have learned that my differences aren’t a bad thing, even if the general public thinks otherwise. There are more Jewish people than the Jewish population I know. There are more LGBTQ+ people than the few friends I’ve made. There are more trans and nonbinary people than the few I’ve met.

I know now that, while I may feel lonely at times, I am not alone. It’s a comforting realization to have after so long feeling out of place, and I hope that anyone who feels alone in their identity finds such opportunities.

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Building BRIDGES

Meet Metro Nashville PD’s First LGBTQ Liaison JAMES GRADY

Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) is announcing that it has created the position of LGBTQ Liaison for the department, joining a handful of MNPD officials tasked with outreach to Nashville’s minority communities. Since November, Officer Catie Poole has held this position, quietly beginning to meet with local LGBTQ groups and leaders, and to familiarize fellow officers with her new role.

The appointment of an officer whose sole role is to act in the capacity of a liaison to the community, however, marks a bold new commitment on the part of the department. With this appointment, too, Nashville joins many other major metropolitan police departments in having such a liaison: cities from Seattle to Atlanta and Annapolis have had officers in such roles for some time, cities like New York and Washington, D.C., have units devoted to the task.

While this is a big step forward for MNPD, it represents the culmination of years of discussion, building upon the community engagement undertaken by LGBTQ leaders within the department.

Individuals such as Lieutenant Dave Leavitt and Commander Kay Lokey have often assisted when potential difficulties arose between the department and the community.

“Obviously, this has been in the works for a while now, recent events have kind of expedited the process and brought it back into the forefront of discussion,”

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Poole explained. “Ultimately, the goal is to improve the community relations with LGBT community.”

Who Is Catie Poole?

Originally, Poole did not set out to become a police officer. “I was doing pre-law at MTSU, with the notion of possibly going to law school,” she explained. “But when I got to my senior year, I was so tired of school, I couldn’t imagine doing another three even-more-intense years. So I decided to go onto the job market. That’s when I started looking around and decided that I didn’t necessarily want a desk job. I wanted to be out and about and get involved with the community to make a difference where I could.

So I looked at the police department and found that to be the best fit.”

Around the time she joined the force, Poole started dating Hannah, who is now her wife.

“We’ve been married for going on two and a half years now, been together for almost five... She’s a strong supporter so I’m happy for that.”

Together, they have built a life and home, literally. “We did just move into our house that we built

JANUARY 2019

this last June, out in the country,” she said, “so we’re loving that. We have three dogs so it’s perfect for them. They’re Australian Shepherds so they love having the run of the land, it just gives them space to breathe.”

In addition to giving their animals room to breathe, their home gives Poole the room to engage in her passion: powerlifting!

“One hobby of mine is ... I power lift.

I’ve got a really awesome garage gym that we put together. I love that. I mean, that’s my work of art there. I look at it like another job. I mean, I love it. But to be successful in it, you have to treat it like a job. Consistency is what gets you results.”

Consistency Gets Results

Poole was identified by the department’s leadership as an ideal candidate for the position, as she is both sensitive to the concerns of the community and has shown herself to be a model officer.

“I’ve been on the Department for five and a half years now,” Poole said of her tenure with the department. “My first precinct I was in was East: I worked evening shift for four months. I then went to Central for the next four years, so the bulk of my experience in my time on the department has been in Central. I was on the bicycle patrol unit for a lot of that time. So again, with the community aspect, that’s half of our job - it’s not just enforcement but public relations.

So I got to meet a lot of people downtown, attend all kinds of events and help orchestrate events…”

When asked why she thought she was chosen, Poole answered modestly.

“I honestly don’t know but when they offered it to me, I jumped on it. I was excited about it from the get-go, so I’m honored asked to do it.”

Deputy Chief John Drake, head of the Support Services Bureau, however, said, “It’s a start-up program and we wanted someone good, energetic,

knowledgeable of the entire community, especially the LGBTQ community’s needs, and she was perfect! She’s been a good officer. On top of her work as a patrol officer, she was already doing community outreach, and I knew she would rise to the challenge.”

The Work of the Liaison

As liaison, Poole has set three distinct goals for herself as she gets the program started. “One will be to be focused on the community—getting involved with the numerous groups around here, getting to know them personally and to be able to be there for them as a resource… They’ll have my contact information personally, and not just the community groups, but also individuals in the community.”

Officer Poole wants community members to know they can contact her directly if they have concerns about coming to the department. Though she believes the department is widely accepting of LGBT people, she understands this is not the common perception and she wants individuals to feel comfortable coming to her as a mediator. This leads to her other focuses.

In the coming months, Poole hopes to launch a “Safe Place” program, modeled on a program started in Seattle. The program was initially created out “to address the hate crime issue… hate crimes are one of the most under reported crimes out there.”

Not only is the topic a touchy one, but often the victims are uncomfortable reporting.

The department will be producing material encouraging reporting—including a rainbow decal with a badge that advertises ways to contact the department via phone or a new website soon to be unveiled for the purpose of facilitating reporting.

“The website that we will be creating here with the launch of the program,” she said, “is meant to promote the reporting of hate crimes across all minority groups…

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The safe place program will … also give them a safe place of refuge… Participating businesses will put the rainbow decals on their front window in a very prominent location so that people know they can go into a location as a place of safety and seek help in contacting the authorities. This is meant to comfort victims who may have a negative impression of the police, people who have perhaps even fled war and violence, and to give them a safe place to stay.”

The program has been successful in Seattle. Since the program was initiated, there has been around a 600% increase in hate crime reporting.

Poole’s third goal is to serve the department internally as a resource for fellow LGBTQ officers. “I want them to know that if there is something going on, there is someone they can reach out to in confidentiality, and we can correct the problem.”

Preparing to Move Forward

Poole has appeared at local events already, such as the Chamber’s holiday party, but she is still making her rounds and familiarizing groups with her presence and her new role.

She’s also working to familiarize fellow officers with her role, and the role she can play in their work, such as acting as a resource

when working with LGBTQ victims or people in need. She had already begun to play that role with officers familiar with her work.

When asked what would constitute success for her program, Poole said, “Well, I think that the more public awareness I raise, the more I get to know people and show them that I am not just saying that I’ll be there for them but actually show up to their meetings and be a part of their their lives on a daily basis and offer whatever services and help I can ... I think that’s going to go a long way because word of mouth ultimately is what has the biggest impact...”

So, Poole is most definitely well on her way to success!

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VALENTINE’S DAY—I AM LOST Is Monogamy What We Really Want?

JOSH ROBBINS

I do not know a single, truly successful, monogamous gay couple.

I mean really know them. I can’t even think of any real-life candidates for “we should be like that happy couple,” despite seeing many examples in the heterosexual world. Maybe this is what the wise gays mean when they start talking about the imposition of heteronormative relationship standards onto the homosexual experience.

Maybe I’m judging these relationships by a set of standards that aren’t really intended for gay couples. Maybe they’re not meant for anyone. Maybe straight couples are just better at pretending.

I’ve been in closed and open relationships and can empathize with people who want either one. I understand arguments in favor of open relationships, from “the cheaters are gonna cheat so we might as well be open” to “I trust my partner so much that I’m giving them the freedom to pursue their sexual desires, and they still come home to me every night.” I also respect those that say they “deserve” one person to choose them...forever. (But we all give a big side- eye, knowing that probably isn’t going to happen.)

Is monogamy what we want? What I want? Is it even possible?

What is the goal here? I am lost.

LADIES’ MAN VALENTINE In middle school, I was quite the player on Valentine’s Day. I got all my girlfriends valentines and always went overboard for one or two of them. I’m talking the roses, the sweet cards, the oversized teddy bear hosed in my cheap cologne, the handwritten love letters all folded perfectly to the point of not needing an envelope, the candy, and the hour-long mix CDs that I burned from pirated music source Kazaa.

I felt good on those Valentine’s Days, and I remember how much my dad would brag to anybody and everybody about how much I did for all the ladies. “He’s such a ladies’ man,” he’d say.

I was a ladies’ man until after I graduated high school. Then I went after some ladies’ men. (Sorry, not sorry.)

Since then, I’ve always sort of resented the day, the showcasing of love to someone of the opposite sex so freely, because I never felt allowed to do that for the guy that I wanted to be my valentine. (There was always one, each year.)

WHAT AM I AFTER NOW? I’ve learned that I need a relationship to be authentic and, most importantly, transparent. I know I can’t get bogged down by over-thinking the rules of my next relationship before it happens.

I may need an open relationship if he’s never in the mood—or want one if he’s always in the mood, and I’m not. Or I may be so focused on him that there isn’t room for anybody else, etc.

I’m looking for someone who understands that the rules are always subject to change—as long as we both agree. Maybe, after a few years of monogamy, we’ll decide to open things up to keep things fresh. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re on the road to a breakup.

The Ethical Slut, written by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, describes such negotiations between couples. They advise that couples be as honest about what they want as possible, and to be aware that emotional responses such as anger and jealousy still occur, even when you’ve agreed to being open. As long as the couple maintains communication and flexibility, the relationship can still thrive.

Damon Jacobs is a licensed marriage counselor and known PrEP activist, as well as a friend of mine. He’s someone I like bounce ideas off of from time to time. A couple of years back, while riding in the back seat in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I asked Damon if he had ever seen a successful married gay couple who had chosen to live separately, in their own houses. He smiled big and said he had, and it was working well for them.

So maybe that mentality is what I will work with when I am meeting people on DatingPositives. I’m going to do my best to

, ...I trust my partner so much that I m giving them the freedom to pursue their sexual desires, and they still come home to me every night...

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recognize the incredible gift of space when I need it and remember that even something as institutionally rooted as marriage can exist outside the typical, heteronormative expectations of a white picket fence and nightly dinners.

Josh Robbins is an award winning sexual health advocate, author of the site imstilljosh.com and spokesperson for DatingPositives.com. He was nominated for a GLAAD media award in 2017 and recently won the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association’s Excellence Award in the blogging category.

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SHELF SPECIAL THE ● SHELF

Cola de Mono is a kinky exorcism that pushes the envelope and pulls no punches.

JASON SHAWHAN

A Chilean Christmas film steeped in family secrets, boozy beverages, sexual menace, and heaps of jockstraps, Cola de Mono is both a striking vision of how identity can shift under the pressure that society wields and a sensual nightmare that messes with the parts of the brain that process desire and safety.

Borja (Cristobal Rodriguez-Costabal) is spending Christmas, 1986, with his

mother Irene (Carmina Riego, who is like a Pedro Almodovar Stepford Wife) and his older brother Vicente (played

by Rodriguez-Costabal’s actual brother Santiago). A strange kid with a twisted sense of humor and a deeply-felt need to push boundaries, Borja just wants to have a good time. He likes Stephen King novels, horror films, and being completely honest with the rest of the world, regardless of what they’re comfortable with.

THE

SPECIAL

GRABBING DRAMA

BY THE TALE

THE

SPECIAL

SHELF

●

There are elements of Cola de Mono that could potentially wreck your evening, so it’s good to be aware up front that it’s kinky and salacious ...

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That one of Fuguet’s main inspirations for the film is William Friedkin’s 1980 film maudit Cruising should be a hint-anda-half for potential viewers.

As the family spends Christmas dinner knocking back a hearty batch of Cola de Mono (literally, “monkey’s tail,” but also a holiday drink reminiscent of eggnog but with brandy instead of rum—the film gives the drink its own title card, with recipe included), secrets start getting revealed. Before you know it, things spill out of the house and into the psychosexual fugue space of Santiago. Porno mags, cruising parks next to the highway, VHS tapes deliberately left unlabeled, and the mysteries of absent family members all come into play.

Writer/Director Alberto Fuguet spent some time in and around Nashville back in the early mid-2010s making his film Musica Campesina, a low-key docudrama that has helped to preserve much of the pre-gentrified parts of West Nashville that have now been demolished and replaced with condos and slivery mini-houses. He’s always demonstrated an eye for detail, and that hasn’t changed, but no aspect of Cola de Mono could be described as lowkey. It’s got a stylized and vibrant color palette, a mood that swings from randy to menacing to silly and back again, and a willingness to address gay sexuality

in ways that aren’t necessarily going to please everyone in the community.

That one of Fuguet’s main inspirations for the film is William Friedkin’s 1980 film maudit Cruising should be a hint-and-a-half for potential viewers. There are elements of Cola de Mono that could potentially wreck your evening, so it’s good to be aware up front that it’s kinky and salacious, with lots of bare ass and bare souls, but is also very rigorous and demanding in its structure and subject matter. Sex and violence get tangled up (comparison point: Brian De Palma’s erotic thrillers of the ‘80s), the real and the dreamed get all swirly deep in the hippocampus, and there may be a knife in that pocket as well as just being happy to see you.

If you’re interested in something out of the ordinary, Cola De Mono is available on DVD or via download/streaming from TLA Releasing out of Philadelphia. It’s in Spanish with English subtitles, and it’s a worthy addition to anyone’s collection of twisted Christmas films.

THE SPECIAL SHELF is an occasional film review column focusing on LGBTQIA cinema, both new and classic, that could benefit from your attention.

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It’s the Season to Fall in Love...

With a New Home Preparing to Buy that Special Dwelling EMILY BENEDICT

February’s cold weather lends itself to warm blankets on the sofa, binge watching a new series, or starting a new book. If you are buying or selling a home this year, February is also a great time to begin thinking about your next steps.

Just like the weather, the market tends to cool over the holiday months, and begins to warm with the temperatures. By April, there are many more homes for sale, meaning more competition on either side of a home sale.

Most home buyers start their search 6-18 months before they take action.

This means online searching, going to open houses, and driving through neighborhoods, all to help you determine the characteristics of the home you hope to find, when the time is right. If you have had a consultation with a realtor and/or a lender, then you are well on your way. At this point, it is important to stay on track with your financial goals to facilitate your purchase.

If you are selling your existing home, maximizing your profits is likely your top priority. You need a negotiator in your corner - a capable realtor that is diligently working towards your goals with you.

The best outcomes result from a strategic approach that maximizes each factor in a sale: location, condition, and price. Your location is outside of anyone’s control, so the value of your home is at least partly fixed.

Condition is where you, the seller, can have the most impact. Some items to consider with regard to staging your home: 1. Thoroughly deep clean the entire home, including ceiling fans, baseboards, oven, and closets.

2. Fix any knicks, cracks, or holes in the walls. Re-

paint, if needed, with neutral colors only, such as beige, cream, or light gray.

3. Take down all personal photos and any personal items.

4. Remove all valuables, including medications and jewelry. Password protect any electronics in the home. Don’t leave anything of value in plain sight.

5. Make sure all light bulbs are working and place the highest wattage bulbs you can safely place in each lighting fixture. Add lamps to any room without adequate lighting.

6. Declutter, declutter, declutter. Your home should no longer look like a home. It should look like a hotel or model home.

At this point, it is no longer your home. It is the future buyer’s home.

Finally, price your home based upon the competitive market. Look at your home through a buyer’s eyes. What would you be willing to pay for your home if you were buying it today? Your realtor will be able to give you a price range based on homes like yours that have recently sold. Having done all of these things, your realtor can reach the largest pool of potential buyers, so your home will sell quickly and with the best terms.

When looking at what you want to buy, your search will vary, depending on whether you are upsizing, downsizing, or moving to a different part of the city, or even out of state. After your initial consultation with your realtor, get set up to receive automatic emails based on your desired search criteria.

When that (MLS) email comes, check it daily. Mark properties “interested” for those you want to see. Mark “maybe” for properties you want more time to think about. Mark “not interested” for ones you definitely don’t like.

If there is something you love and want to see as soon as possible, connect

Emily Benedict is a Realtor working with buyers, sellers, investors, and developers throughout Middle Tennessee.

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FEBRUARY 2019

with your realtor right away so a showing can be set up. In a normal market, plan to provide 24-48 hours notice prior to a showing, as it’s rare to be able to see a house or condo the same day. Properties usually are available to be seen Monday - Friday between 9 am - 7 pm, and Saturday and Sunday from 11 am - 6 pm.

Sometimes sellers will allow showings outside of those hours but it is up to the individual seller.

In a hot market, properties can sell as quickly as one day. Your realtor will know if your price range, terms, and location require more immediate showings so you don’t miss out on those properties.

Clear communication is essential so your expectations are met during your home search.

While you are reviewing the MLS emails, your agent is also networking with other agents to find out about properties that also meet your criteria that are coming available soon. When you are able to see these properties early, you can get in front of the masses, which is critical in a hot market like Nashville.

This year, help your Valentine get sweet on a new home: now you have the tools to win their heart for it.

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21

OVER

the RAINBOW

CO LD A ND P ROU D JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

The last time I was here, I was a fourteenyear-old runaway. At least at heart.

My dad was out in the woods for a day or two. He thought I would do what unsupervised teens usually did back then and raid the liquor closet while he was gone.

He was getting very worried about me and desperately wanted a bonding exercise.

It was becoming increasingly unlikely then that I would follow in his path as a soldier. There were whispers that I may have inherited the family malady that had kept a generation or three finding solace in a bottle. I had ... but I was old enough by then to know that I had to keep that to myself.

Dad was gone, and I was tired of pretending that I was normal. Toronto had public transportation and freedom beckoned ... Canadian freedom that I could not get back in the States, where the watchers watched those whose fathers had security clearances.

I remember very little about that day, nearly forty years later. Toronto’s Glad Day Bookshop was in a different location then. The selection was small, and the lone staffer behind the desk was worried he might get a visit from the police if someone had spotted me coming in. The plan was to get the “malady” out of my system through the visit and never return.

Little did I know then that this was not how the unrequested blessing works…

“Now let me get this straight. The purpose of your visit is to go dancing in a bookstore?”

Disheveled and sleep deprived is never a good way to cross an international border. The non-stop on a Greyhound was a decent idea if I had been twenty years younger.

At fifty, with a new name and a corrected gender marker, the selection of

steerage travel gets you a special seat in the interrogation room. Americans my age are supposed to fly, per the field manual.

Turning up here in the dead of winter also made me a little suspicious.

Toronto has changed little in the thirty-plus years I had been gone. It’s still friendly, sprawling and pleasantly cold in winter.

What has changed? Glad Day is now in a better location, smack in the middle of the LGBTQ+ district along Church and Wellesley Streets in the old town. Despite the zillions of Pride flags that line the shops, streets and murals throughout the city, it’s still someplace special for people like us.

Glad Day is now the world’s oldest operating LGBTQ+ bookstore. The bookshop has expanded after nearly dying a few years back. It has a bar now and room

The purpose of your visit is to go dancing in a bookstore for the occasional dance when the time is right. New Year’s Eve was one of those nights, and this is becoming a tradition for me. Having missed the chance to be queer in my younger days, I will take the opportunities when I can get them.

The kids waiting in the rain outside to get in were more than half my age. I sipped the faux gin and tonic the kind bartender had especially stirred for me as I watched them. Dad was really gone now. You don’t think about getting old when you are truly young, but I thought about it that night as I lifted a quiet toast to my late dad. Out, sober, not taking crap for living my truth.

He still wouldn’t understand, but I suspect he would be proud.

In front of me, dancing to the beat, was a scene you rarely see in our part

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local trans woman.

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ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

My rebellion began in a Toronto bookshop many years ago. I recently paid the world’s oldest LGBTQ+ bookstore a return visit...

of North America: a room full of queer Indigenous, Asian, Hispanic, Pakistani and African souls, with a smattering of Caucasians too. I was very much in the minority and loved it. The scene in front of me was a snapshot of what the States may look like by the time my daughter becomes my age. The times we live in are a mere anticipation of that future. Let it come.

In walked a well-dressed, middle aged Korean woman who looked just as afraid as I was all those years ago. No, she really didn’t fit the scene, but neither did I. She stood with her back planted firmly against a dark wall, as the kids were grooving to a music I pretended to know. Her eyes and ears adjusted to the altered landscape as she scanned the floor. I watched too, because I had the feeling that I was about to witness something special.

Out of the darkness walked another lovely middle-aged woman. She smiled at her Korean friend as she gently took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. They slow danced while the kids surrounding them did their own thing, and soon fear gave way to laughter and sweet smiles. Another soul had likely crossed the border that night.

Just like I did way back when...

Welcome home.

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Lucy Negro Redux was supported by New Music USA. To follow the project as it unfolds, visit our project page: newmusicusa.org/projects/lucy-negro-redux