O&AN | April 2018

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16 04.18

CONTENTS 10

MAYOR BRILEY CAME OUT TO PLAY FOR MASS TRANSIT PLAN

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A NEW ERA AT HOLY TRINITY COMMUNITY CHURCH

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GAY & PREGNANT: CHANGING THE SHAPE OF LGBT FAMILIES

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JEREMY SAWAYA ON BEING A SINGLE GAY DAD IN NASHVILLE

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CHI CHI LaRUE: A DIFFERENT HEADLINER FOR ‘H8’S A DRAG’

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{

RODRICK HAWTHRONE

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CRAIG AMMON

The 2018 LGBT Chamber Excellence in Business Awards will be held at the Downtown Hilton Nashville on May 4th. Rodrick Hawthrone, the hotel’s Manager of Catering and Convention Services, is looking forward to creating a wonderful event to honor this year’s nominees and entertain all those in attendance.

“Hospitality is the only industry I know,” Rodrick said. He’s been working in hospitality since he was fresh out of college, because he is able to follow his passion for helping others. He explained, “I love helping people find solutions that meet their specific needs, and, as I result, I find it refreshing at the end of an event when everyone is happy and the client is overjoyed. That is such a liberating feeling.”

Rodrick moved to Nashville from Atlanta in the Fall of 2016 and quickly became involved with the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce. He encouraged The Hilton Downtown Nashville to become a member of the Chamber soon after he started. Rodrick can’t say enough positive things about his employer. He says the staff is very diverse, but added, “Now so many more employees, managers and directors are so much more supportive of the LGBT community and the LGBT Chamber than they were prior to me joining.”

Being a member of the Chamber and encouraging the hotel to become more involved in Chamber events has allowed him the opportunity to show other organizations, such as the Hilton, the type of people that we, in the LGBT community, really are. As evidence of his employer’s new relationship with the Chamber, this will be the second year in a row that they are hosting the Excellence in Business Awards luncheon.

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When asked to compare Nashville to Atlanta, Rodrick says the two seem very different. While both cities are in the middle of the Bible Belt, he’s noticed that the conservative attitudes of our region are much more evident in Nashville than in Atlanta. In his view, there is not as much diversity and inclusiveness here. In Atlanta, it’s more common to see groups of people of different races and orientations hanging out together, and nobody even seems to notice. He doesn’t see that as much here in Nashville.

Unfortunately, he has also heard strangers direct derogatory comments toward him both when walking around town and while at work in the short time he’s lived in Nashville. He said that never happened in the 12 years he lived in Atlanta. He thought, “Do people still do that?” Rodrick is hopeful that Nashville will get to that place one day, where diversity and inclusiveness will be more commonplace in both personal and professional settings.

To get there, Rodrick thinks that of course straight people need to be a little more open minded. And he feels the LGBT community needs more positive role models. He said, “Personally, I feel we need more role models of sophisticated demeanor and modest sensibility in the LGBT community. I don’t believe that there are many positive role models in today’s media, especially for us LGBT people.”

Rodrick is certainly doing his part to serve as a positive role model by living authentically, both in his personal and professional life. He said, “I really don’t know any other way to be but open, honest and genuine. Whether I’m open about my personal or work life, letting others see my professional struggles and successes in the spirit of vulnerability—or breaking out of other self-imposed limitations— are among the immeasurable ways to embrace who you really are.”

Rodrick feels that type of authenticity is crucial in business. “The benefit of this is that everyone on my team, every one of my clients, and everyone I interact with knows that I am a straight-shooter and a truth-teller, even when I have to carefully communicate that truth. That makes me trustworthy as a manager and most importantly that makes me human.” And when everyone in the work environment is authentic and accepting of each other, they can focus on their real objectives.

In Rodrick’s case, that means providing the best possible experiences for their guests at the Hilton Downtown Nashville.

He said, “The thing I teach my staff is, if you want a career that is rewarding and beneficiary to you from all aspects, then it’s paramount that you put in your best work and be passionate about what you do.”

Rodrick added, “My co-workers feel comfortable and empowered to be themselves. That’s a big deal! With that said, we will host the LGBT’s Chambers Annual Luncheon for the second year in a row and the Hilton is utterly excited about it!”

To register for the Excellence in Business awards luncheon, visit nashvillelgbtchamber.org.

The Nashville LGBT Chamber is a professional and consistent resource to find businesses who are inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and ally customers and clients. The Chamber directory at www.nashvillelgbtchamber.org/list will help you find The Mockingbird and other LGBT-friendly businesses and organizations.

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MAYOR BRILEY CAME OUT TO PLAY FOR MASS TRANSIT PLAN

BRILEY ENCOURAGED LGBTQ+ COMMUNITY TO BACK TRANSIT EXPANSION, VOTE YES ON MAY 1ST JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

The Nashville LGBT Chamber hosted a forum at Play on March 14, 2018 to discuss the proposed multi-billion dollar mass transit plan up for a vote on May 1, 2018. Mayor David Briley joined the mostly LGBT audience to see a presentation by transit advocate groups, with support from the LGBT Chamber, on how an expanded service would benefit Nashville.

“Thanks for coming. It’s fun to have a transit forum with a disco ball,” said a smiling Lisa Howe, Nashville LGBT Chamber CEO. “Having good transit gives us an opportunity to recruit good companies here like Amazon,” Howe said. “Amazon would bring fifty thousand jobs for people here, but maybe they would move twenty to thirty thousand people here... Thirty-thousand new voters who would live in our little ring of fire around our little blue bubble.

Amazon is a company who will not stand quiet if our state legislature attacks with anti-LGBT legislation,” she added, to applause.

The opportunity to support small businesses owners, a major employer of LGBT people, was a consideration. “Small business owners are adding jobs,” Howe said. “For every person they hire, there’s another car on the road. I do not ever want our small business owners to not be able to hire because we’re so congested and we do not have enough talent coming here (as a result) to fill those jobs.”

Then came something personal and from the heart, a chance to support our own community.

“When I started working for the Chamber,” Howe explained, “I was at OutCentral down the street. The first people that I met did not have cars. They used the bus to get to OutCentral and to their jobs. I am concerned for them. For their mobility and their ability to hold a job, and quite frankly for their safety.” A better transit option would make things easier and safer for everyone, not just the LGBTQ+ community, she explained.

Howe then introduced Mayor David Briley, remarking that he was a “long-time ally” of the LGBTQ+ community. Briley stepped up to the podium and, after thanking the crowd and giving a quick update about another friend of our community (Megan Barry), he launched into why Nashvillians should back the plan.

“This is the moment. Right? For our city to decide where we are going to go,” the mayor began.

“We’ve been in places before where we’ve decided to go one way or another...and today, we are working as hard as we possibly can to convince everybody in this community that if we want to be a progressive city, if we want build out the kind of place that people enjoy living in, if we want to be a place that can recruit businesses from around the world...we have to build out a transit

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system that people want to use.

Let me tell you about the plan...This is not some sort of dream.

This is a plan that has fifty-thousand touches. Fifty-thousand times Nashvillians looked at our city and decided where we wanted to grow, what we wanted to look like, where we were going to put transit in. Then we pulled experts in from around the world, from around the country to look at it and decide (if) this plan makes sense for us? Does it work? Will it be possible? Is the money that we are going to raise (for the plan) enough? We looked as well... at other cities around the country to see what is working. Is this a best practice?

May 1...this city has an opportunity to decide. Are we going to go forward? Are we going to build a city that we like, we love...that people can move around in different ways? Where you can take an Uber one day, then the next day take a train to work, a bus to the grocery. Or are we going to be a city where people are trapped in

their car with no other way to get around?

A million people are coming...to this town...to this community.

Are we going to build something that can support them? Or not?

I’m convinced that Nashville is the kind of city when faced with a decision like this...will make the right choice.

But I need you, each and every one of you, to convince ten, or twenty, or thirty of your friends to go vote on May 1st. The younger the group, the more progressive the group, the more intelligent the group that goes to vote...the more likely it is to pass. That it critical. It is critical that we expand the electorate into people who are willing to think about transit...are willing to invest in the future.

So each one of you has to get out there and has to get them to vote in order for the truly representative voice of this community to be heard.

So, I’m asking...will you help me?”

He was answered with a chorus of yeses, loud applause and a couple dozen thumbs up.

“I know you will,” Briley finished, giving a quick glance and smile toward the disco ball above his head as he turned the program over to the presenters, who touched on the following: • The Nashville area is expected to naturally grow by one million people in a relative short period of time, with roads fully clogged by traffic already • Nashville is where the cities of Denver and Seattle were at from a population standpoint twenty-five years ago with an antiquated transit system • The plan being presented is five years in the making, with input from transportation experts, finance experts, and average citizens likely to use an improved transit system • Once approved by voters, the plan would take fifteen years to fully build out. The first five years would bring improved bus service, with a larger and newer fleet and a build out of neighborhood transit hubs • The transit tunnel under downtown (roughly under 5th Avenue) would eventually be used by both light rail trains and buses • Light rail would be built towards high traffic areas. A dedicated fleet of rapid buses, much like we have now on high traffic corridors, will expand in areas not planned for light rail at this time, but will improve travel time using the planned transit tunnel under downtown • Light rail could expand to neighboring counties if they want service. They would have to pay for build out and operation costs from their own sources of revenue • Projected cost to build is five to ten billion dollars. The cost to build and operate the new transit system will be split almost 50/50 between Davidson County residents and non-residents, as sales and use taxes will be the primary revenue source • Local tax increases to build out the system are estimated at roughly an extra five dollars a month per household for the first five years, then ten dollars a month until completion • A provision to allow heavily discounted fares has been proposed for users who fall under the poverty line The referendum will take place on May 1st. Visit transitfornashville. com for the full details of the transit plan.

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A NEW ERA AT HOLY TRINITY COMMUNITY CHURCH

NEW MINISTER GUIDES THIS AFFIRMING CONGREGATION JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

The Rev. Dr. Brice Thomas was installed last fall, continuing HTCC’s mission of being an affirming congregation for all people.

It’s a new era at Holy Trinity Community Church.

Nearly three years after the departure of the church’s popular founding pastor, The Reverend Dr. Brice Thomas answered the call last September to be Holy Trinity’s lead pastor. A native of Dayton, Ohio, he never thought he would be pastoring a church in the American South. “I never, ever expected I would ever move down here!” he said, laughing.

Ordained in the United Church of Christ back in 2005, Thomas’ first assignment was to a church in a conservative farming community in Southern Ohio that was on the verge of closing. The UCC wanted to re-launch the church as openly LGBTQ+ affirming and, being openly LGBTQ+, Brice Thomas fit the bill. The church saw slow, steady growth over the next five years, utilizing a contemporary-styled service that attracted a younger-skewed crowd, only to fail because it also attracted the ire of that farming community by its acceptance and success.

“We got stuff nailed to our front door,” Thomas explained.

“People were picketing outside and local leaders were drafting petitions to move us out of the city. It was pretty tragic.” The church eventually had to close, and Thomas went to work for his seminary and the United Methodist Church afterward, earning his Doctor of Divinity degree during this second period of seminary education.

The Rev. Dr. Brice Thomas is an Air Force veteran from the 1980s, with a coming out story familiar to many who served back then. Rumors of a boyfriend had led the Air Force to suddenly pull his security clearance and place him under formal investigation while he was serving as a Russian language linguist in cold war era Berlin.

Thomas eventually got his clearance back, but the experience left him badly shaken, and he soon left the military. “The minute I got my discharge papers, I walked down the street and got both my ears pierced,” Thomas laughed. His next stop was to audition as a performer in a nearby amusement park, leading to a career in entertainment.

His job would eventually take him to New York City, and there he would face a crisis of confidence that would lead him back into the closet for a season. “I couldn’t handle it anymore,” Thomas explained.

“I could not handle the culture, and I could not handle me... I was trying to figure out if I really ‘wanted’ to be gay.”

Estranged from his family and from church, Thomas felt his homosexuality was the problem and had never heard before that he could live his truth as an LGBTQ+ Christian. So he took what he felt was the logical step and tried to live as someone he was not, enrolling in a very conservative Bible college in Texas and voluntarily undergoing so-called “aversion” therapy to control his natural thoughts and feelings. One year later, he was asked to leave the college after admitting that the therapy was not working.

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“Sometimes people get upset with me because they feel that I am really hard on the Church,” Thomas followed. “They ask why I am not as hard on other faiths about LGBTQ+ people? That is because there is nothing in my Bible that says to go criticize other religions.

Jesus did not do that. He wanted to reform his own community of faith and was calling attention to when religion was being used as a way to control people, where religion was used to separate the elite from those who had no voice.”

Thomas related to me that his friends back in Ohio share the opinion that Southern cities such as Nashville are just not progressive enough for LGBTQ+ people to thrive in. His interview experience last summer convinced him that they were wrong. “I just fell in love with the community here,” Thomas said. “Especially with the community that is Holy Trinity. They are openly accepting and more than just friendly: they are genuinely welcoming.”

He told me the story of his first time at the church, sitting anonymously with the rest of the congregation, bawling his eyes out he was so moved. Holy Trinity represented the kind of church community that he had always longed to be part of.

Thomas says that when he sent his resume out to churches on the West Coast, they told him that his style was a little too contemporary and oriented towards a younger crowd. The coast may rightly be perceived as more LGBTQ+ friendly, but their churches have not fully embraced what the contemporary South has long pioneered: the use of current topics, current music and multimedia technology in a Thomas admits that the time spent at this college had deeply affected him. Their version of Christian practice “was not a message of love and it had nothing to do with people caring for your soul,” he

worship service.

When he realized this, and the fact that Nashville had an active drag show ministry (“you’re kidding me!” he remembered thinking, now as one of their biggest supporters), Thomas was sold.

reflected. “It was a religious view steeped in homophobia and fear...

Holy Trinity’s congregation splits about eighty-five percent

It is those types of very fundamentalist Christian communities that do

LGBTQ+ and fifteen percent “straight but not narrow” per Thomas’

the most damage to our community. Because they communicate this

estimate. He sees his church as a beloved community of choice, made

idea that people like us are bad or evil. There is something about each

up of many who are estranged from the birth families and churches

of us that needs to be changed. We’re taught that and we struggle

that they grew up with.

Thomas feels humbled to be surrounded by the kind of love and

with our identities as a result.”

“From a progressive perspective when we say Jesus is our savior...I am able to interpret that from the idea that Jesus showed us an alternative view of God,” Thomas said, gently trying to explain to this non-Christian writer how he considers himself a progressiveminded Christian while trying to stay true to traditional Christian teaching.

“We have to unpack all that,” Thomas says. “How does what Jesus represents affect us? How do we read that within sacred scripture? How do we interact and connect to other faiths? To the spirit of G-d that is within everyone?”

affirming identity many LGBTQ+ Christians share. “We have been kicked out, discriminated against, judged and shamed by many of the churches where we were introduced to G-d,” he explained. “What helps us to heal from this oppression? Coming back into a relationship with G-d as your authentic self, as G-d created all of us to be and to affirm in each other.”

That is why Thomas loves Holy Trinity, he confided. He was always looking for a church like this growing up, one focused on healing and acceptance. He truly feels honored to be called as its new pastor.

“Holy Trinity is a place for believers and questioners,” he says.

“We’re a place where people can live out their lives and faith together

Thomas understands that it takes time for those who have lived

with others who choose to do the same.”

through a negative experience with religion to be healed from the damage incurred and to be reconciled into a relationship with God.

615.352.3838.

He’s been there...

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For more information, please visit htccnashville.com or call

APRIL 2018

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JAMES GRADY

ecently, someone reached out to me to see if I would be

shortage of information on the topic generally, of scientific and

interested in writing an article about him and his husband—

statistical data in particular.

specifically about the impending birth of their child. Gay men

One study, “Transgender Men Who Experienced Pregnancy

having children isn’t exactly news anymore—but the person reaching

After Female-to-Male Gender Transitioning,” published in the

out to me knows this, so I was intrigued.

“What’s the hook?” I asked. “Why will this be of general interest?”

“So, Michael’s pregnant,” Brandon Thomas answered, referring to his husband, Michael Finch. I had a flashback to our cover featuring Matt Riddlehoover, who at the time was shooting Paternity Leave, a movie about a pregnant man. I scheduled the interview.

A couple of weeks later, Brandon and Michael walked into a Starbucks in Antioch. Michael wore loose fitting clothes, and I could

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists highlighted the lack of awareness, services, and medical assistance available to pregnant men. Pregnant men face a lack of understanding on the part of medical professionals, adding to their risk, and the experience of pregnancy can exacerbate the gender dysphoria many transgender men face.

What has pregnancy been like for Michael? “I haven’t had a

easily have interpreted the stomach as weight gain. But I knew

chance to talk to a bunch of people about it face to face, because I

Michael to be unmistakably seven months pregnant.

started working from home right after,” Michael said. “So, it’s been a

While the phenomenon of pregnancy among transgender men has received some press over the last decade, there is a definite

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very solitary experience, other than all of the doctors’ appointments.”

But, first, the backstory.

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from West Nashville,” Michael said. “I don’t have a ‘traditional’ transgender narrative, and I think it’s because I’m a queer man. I’m more gender nonconforming, so when you grow up playing with Barbie dolls and loving puppies, and not really minding when your parents put you in dresses, it’s not gonna … the concern didn’t come together as quickly.”

“I didn’t have the stereotypical clues: I didn’t always want to play only with boys, or in the dirt, and it didn’t bother me want to wear a dress. I was about 15, maybe, when I really started to think about it. It’s been relatively smooth sailing. I’ve always been politically active, and I think that helped me find my people. People also know more about trans people now and understand a lot more. I’ve definitely heard some ignorant stuff, but it has not been what most people expect.”

At MTSU, Michael’s and Brandon’s paths crossed. “After a LAMDA meeting, I saw him,” Brandon recalled. “I was like, ‘Oh, he’s really cute.’ So, I don’t know what happened after that. Somehow…”

“I thought you were annoying at first,” Michael interjected.

After he got elected to SGA, one of Brandon’s major initiatives was to get gender identity added to the SGA non-discrimination policy, and he sought out Michael’s assistance.

“That completely changed how I thought about you,” Michael confirmed, “because it’s like, ‘Well, he’s not trans, and sexual orientation is already protected, but making sure that trans people are protected means something to him.’ You didn’t really have a family member, or something like that—you were just like, ‘These people aren’t protected, and I want to do that.’”

Soon, Brandon, opinions editor of the student paper, had Michael helping him out on that front as well. “It was all an elaborate ruse to spend more time with me, but I didn’t know that. As far as I was concerned, he was my best friend, and as far as he was concerned, I was his best friend, but he was on a path that I knew nothing about.”

That changed on Saint Patrick’s Day on 2011, at Chameleon’s lounge. Brandon’s friends, who had heard of his interest in Michael, helped push them together by suggesting that they kiss. What followed that first kiss was an anxious day of worrying that they had messed up a beautiful friendship, but the next day they confessed feelings for one another. They’ve been together ever since.

In 2015, they married, shortly after the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in Tennessee. A metro councilwoman, with whom they connected via TEP, officiated their impromptu ceremony in Centennial Park.

When it came time to think about having children, Brandon said, “I always wanted biological kids. It’s probably upbringing… Just thinking about the legal ramifications of trying to adopt in Tennessee strengthened that feeling.”

While Michael didn’t share Brandon’s deep want of a biological child, he added, “Just thinking about the idea of having this baby that’s a part of me and a part of Brandon—once I knew how much it meant to him and started thinking about it that way—I can definitely see why he would prefer that.”

This began a process. “It went from no, to probably not, to I’m willing to figure out if this is something I could do, and that was when I joined the Facebook groups,” Michael explained. “Then it very quickly became, ‘Okay, let’s do it.’”

Seeing other men who had made the decision to bear children, and the positive responses they got from the community they shared

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it with on Facebook, was a factor in helping Michael get over that mental hurdle. It was through these groups that Michael learned the story of Trystan Reese, the trans man who had a child with partner Biff Chaplow.

“I think Trystan had the baby the same month that I got pregnant,” Michael recalled, “so while we were going through the process of figuring out how it was gonna work and how to start, he was going through being very visible in his pregnancy and talking about what that was like, and how he was keeping himself safe, and how it was being seen by people around him.” Seeing someone successfully navigate the process was very empowering.

The other big factor in allowing Michael to come to terms with the idea that he could be pregnant and hold onto his identity as a man was his top surgery. “Once I had top surgery, that was when I knew that I could be myself… That was when I started thinking I might be able to get pregnant now. I might be okay with this.”

Michael explained that worries about whether people would notice his binder, and the discomfort of it, “took up so much of my mental energy and was the source of the majority of my discomfort…

Once that wasn’t an issue anymore, I was so much more comfortable with myself that I could actually focus on other things.”

At that point, they began the process of getting pregnant.

“I didn’t even know if this was something that I could do, or even if I could get pregnant,” Michael explained, referring to his lack of knowledge about the long-term effects of the testosterone he had stopped taking years earlier. “So I wanted to figure that out before we

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VISIT US 213 Oceola Avenue • Nashville TN 37209 615.352.1010 • nashvillehumane.org

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even tried anything. I didn’t want to find out that I could get pregnant, but not stay pregnant, and then have to deal with that.”

“I reached out to Vanderbilt Center for LGBT Health and said, ‘Do y’all know any providers who have any kind of experience with this?’ The provider they recommended is at Vanderbilt at 100 Oaks, and she’s been great.”

“We had that consultation and then got prescribed some pills,” Brandon explained. “I expected it to take a while, and it did not—just a month.”

Michael didn’t surprise Brandon with the news, but they did surprise both of their families. “I went into my parents’ kitchen, tossed

a Honey Bun into the oven, and closed it. My mom looked at me like I was crazy, until my dad said, ‘Is there a bun in the oven?’ I said, ‘Yes, there is,’ and then my mom cried a little bit.”

Brandon’s mother was no less pleased, but she was a great deal more shocked. “Brandon’s mom did not know that I was trans,” Michael explained, “until he told her that I was trans and pregnant with her grandchild. I was not there for that conversation. I said, ‘You go do that. I will stay at home and take a nap. You can give me the edited version.’”

“She said her prayers had been answered,” Brandon said.

“We’re both only children so I know both way.” @OUTANDABOUTNASH 1 5 Y Efamilies A R S O F felt LG Bthat T NE WS 21

Moving forward, Michael’s doctor’s visits at 100 Oaks have presented some personal challenges. “I can understand that, for many of them, I’m literally the only trans man that they’ve ever interacted with, because this place is literally called the Vanderbilt Center for Women’s Health. They’re on autopilot,” he explained. “Even my doctor can be on autopilot, saying things like ‘with pregnant women,’ but she usually catches herself.”

In the office, Michael said, “They stare at the chart, and then stare at me, and then they’re like ... Sometimes it’s ma’am, sometimes it’s Miss Finch, sometimes it’s some version of Michael. There is one nurse who called me Mr. Finch the other day, because she has figured it out, and God bless her…”

“It does hit me sometimes, like … when you send a message through the patient portal, you send it to your doctor, but then, really, anybody who works for her might reply,” Michael said. This is one place where mis-gendering often occurs. “I’m sitting in my own home, on my own couch, and I have to open up this message where somebody has called me ma’am, when they really didn’t need to use any kind of gendered address in any way.”

Michael is normally read visually as a man, so mis-gendering isn’t something he commonly experienced prior to pregnancy. But pregnancy has brought him into a milieu that is constructed almost entirely around the concept, ‘woman.’

“At my last workplace, only one person even knew I was transgender,” Michael said, “and then she got to be the one person who also knew that I was pregnant. Nobody else did…”

Even at seven months pregnant, most people still don’t read Michael’s belly as a sign of pregnancy—because the concept is so foreign to the common notions of manhood. “The only person who has noticed in public that I am pregnant was at a gas station downtown…

I was just standing there, sideways, so I think my stomach was really obvious… She did mis-gender me… I was just like, okay, I’ll never see this lady again in my life. Brandon said we should have educated her and just blown her mind, but then if she says something stupid, then that’s a whole day ruined.”

“It usually doesn’t really get to me,” Michael said. “I would love to have the energy to be like, ‘That’s not right, and let me explain it to you…’ If somebody else comes after me, I would like if I had been able to make it easier for them. I think in some ways I probably have, because definitely some people have figured what’s going on or have been in the room when me and my doctor are talking about it, and kind of know a little bit more now.

Given that so few people know about the pregnancy, and that a relatively select group of people are aware that Michael is transgender, why did they want to share their story so publicly? It was reading about Trystan Reese’s story that empowered Michael to begin this journey and they want to pass that gift along.

“I have heard from a lot of trans men, like me, who had thought about doing this before,” Michael explained, “but didn’t know anybody in this area had ever even done it. That Facebook group, and all the pictures, really inspired me to see that I could potentially do that for other people.”

Other social interactions, such as Rutherford County Democratic Party events and Rainbow Rutherford, made Michael, “feel like, okay, there are people who get this, and it is nice to be able to talk about it with people who understand what’s going on, or can at least be respectful about it.”

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“We recently even had a baby shower hosted by Rainbow Rutherford,” Brandon said. They had only recently joined the group to solicit recommendations for an LGBT-friendly pediatrician, and the group welcomed them with open arms. “That was just amazing. We weren’t expecting a lot of people, because we don’t really know a lot of people in Rainbow Rutherford, but they showed up, and provided everything that we probably need.”

Given this momentous shift in their life together, it would be natural for Michael and Brandon to be concerned: they are about as different a family as a two-parent, atomic family can be. Is Middle Tennessee the best, or safest, place to put down their roots?

They are committed to this place—they believe in it, and they believe it can grow to meet them. “This is our home and we want to stay here and fight for it, make it better,” they affirmed. We must all work to broaden our understandings, and help introduce the changing face of the gay family to the world around us, in order to facilitate that.

JEREMY SAWAYA

Hanna came into my life when she was about six months old. The ex I was dating at the time convinced my cousin that we should take her home with us for an extended period of time. Her family life was pretty bad, so it was an easy decision for them to make. I was 25 years old, and raising a child wasn’t exactly the turn I expected my life to take, as a gay man.

After 2 weeks together, I knew that she had forever changed my life. Within a year I was granted full guardianship. The actual adoption took a number of years, but being a single gay man was never an issue for the courts in Kentucky or Tennessee. Abby Rubenfeld was my lawyer, and she was amazing! In 2012 Hanna officially became Hanna Sawaya, and I was listed as her father on her birth certificate.

Being a single dad can be very difficult. Most of my friends either have kids from a previous marriage, who are now adults, or they are brand new parents with small children. And I love being involved in the gay community, but so much of it revolves around the bar. That makes it hard to include my daughter.

Hotmess Kickball made a big difference for us as a family. I’ve always been extremely open with Hanna concerning being gay.

Once I started to play kickball, she was able to meet men and women from different backgrounds and lifestyles. She made friends with the teachers, lawyers, gymnastics instructors—really, everyone she met!

Everyone has been very supportive! I don’t let her hang out at the field all day, but she does love to come and support the team.

She loves to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race (when appropriate). She goes to some Pride events with me every year. She is a huge fan of any drag queen! I’ll never forget her 1st Pride event where she met a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence. They are very different looking from Ru’s girls & Hanna was fascinated.

I’ve worked in sales for my entire adult life. I travel, sometimes a lot, with my job. I’ve been able to build a strong support system to help me, when I’m on the road. My best friends, Tina and Lisa Secrist, have been the best aunts (locally) that my daughter could have ever asked for. They have helped her in so many ways and have also been a great resource for Hanna on all things woman. They are our self-made Nashville family!

My family lives in Louisville, Kentucky, and I believe family bonds are important for a child. I grew up very close with my cousins and sister.

I wanted Hanna to have those same experiences. My mom and sister often help out with Hanna during her breaks from school. It allows her time to be with the family, and also give me time to have adult fun. She is as close with her cousins and the family as I was growing up.

My family and I have different political and world views, but we are still a very loving family. I don’t want Hanna to only have one point

of view to learn from. I want her to learn from the people around her. I want her to be well rounded and understand that not everyone thinks the same way.

Hanna never thought she was any different by having a gay dad until she started school. As she was making new friends, everyone would ask about her mom and dad. Since she was adopted, she has never known her birth mother. That can be extremely difficult for a child 1 5 or Y Ewould A R S O Fmake LG B Tfun NEW to grasp. Some@OUTANDABOUTNASH kids didn’t believe her ofSher 23 for

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Welcome to Holy Trinity Community Church Welcome to ALL who are looking for a church home, who need hope or healing, have doubts, or don’t believe. Welcome to grandparents and to grandchildren, to mothers, fathers, and single people.

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being different. This opened up a great opportunity for me to be able to share with her my experiences as a child being bullied.

I told her that there will always be bullies everywhere in life— school, work, on the playground! What makes the difference is how you choose to handle it. We would discuss how it made her feel to get bullied, and how other kids may feel when they are also bullied. She has taken it upon herself to stand up anytime she hears someone getting bullied. She’s not a fighter, but she certainly won’t allow herself or others to be bullied.

When she was in 4th grade, she actually started a support group with her school counselor for kids with only one parent in the home.

They talked about things they dealt with and were very supportive of each other! I was so proud of my daughter for being a leader and stepping up to find a way to help others who were struggling from a similar issue she was also dealt in life.

I’ve been surprised about how little pushback I have received from the schools or other parents because I’m gay. Everyone hears about the horror stories, and I really haven’t experienced much negativity. There have been a few teachers I have been uncertain about, but they have always treated Hanna very well. The schools that Hanna has attended have been very welcoming to me, and I’ve become good friends with a few of Hanna’s friend’s parents. I truly believe that by living our lives out loud, we have helped change perceptions about gay families for those around us.

I hear far too often from people that they want a family. They want to adopt or have a child to help give their lives more meaning. Those people should start with a dog! I don’t think people realize what they are giving up from their lives for their child, for the foreseeable future.

Before Hanna turned nine, I was rarely out at events. I didn’t get to go to parties or out on dates. On nights when I had help with Hanna, I didn’t want to go out on dates, because I wanted to spend time with my adult friends.

I never want to introduce Hanna to people I date, because I don’t want her to get invested until I’m sure things are going to work out. I’ve met guys who have wanted to meet her right away, and it really makes me cautious. Granted, we are a package deal, but I have to be certain we are going to be a good fit first.

I’ve only had four long term relationships since Hannah came into my life. Every break up is just as hard, if not harder, on her as it is for me.

Each relationship makes me more cautious than the last, because I want to keep her protected. One day I hope to find a husband, not out of a need to have one, but a want to provide a two-parent home.

I wouldn’t trade being a dad for anything in the world. Hanna has taught me so much about myself and the world. It’s challenging as a single dad raising a pre-teen girl, but it’s also the most rewarding experience in my life. I’m so lucky to be able to watch her grow into a strong, independent, caring young woman. None of this would be possible without the continued support of my family and friends! I’m a firm believer that it takes a village, and Hanna is lucky to have such an amazing village!

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Part 3: Guatemala SUNNY EATON IS A LOCAL ATTORNEY AND 4-TIME NOMINEE FOR OUT & ABOUT’S GAY FAVES. HER WIFE, KARIN BALSLEY IS A NETWORK ENGINEER. THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 6 YEARS AND LIVE IN EAST NASHVILLE. SUNNY AND KARIN LEFT EVERYTHING BEHIND TO TAKE A TWO-YEAR DRIVE, WITH THEIR DOG, THROUGH MEXICO AND CENTRAL AMERICA. THEIR STORY HAS BEEN FEATURED IN CURVE AND WAND’RLY MAGAZINE AND EXPEDITIONPORTAL.COM. THEY ARE WORKING ON A BOOK TITLED I CAN. I WILL: WOMEN OVERLANDING THE WORLD, EXPECTED TO PRINT IN SPRING OF 2018.

For the 3rd part of our four-part series, they invite you to join them on the journey.

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times… So much happened during our time in the country known as Guate. We rode in our first tuk-tuks, swam in the pools of Semuc Champey, Karin almost died tubing on the rapids of the Cahabón river, and we visited towns so numerous that we can’t name them all.

We camped at a coffee farm on the side of a volcano, celebrated Halloween and thanksgiving with friends, witnessed the Burning of the Devil, and worked out at the gym with the Costa Rican rugby team. We became close friends with a chocolate-making Mayan priestess and the owner of Frida’s Restaurant—a mecca for gays in Guatemala—went to Gay Pride in Guatemala City, and spent six weeks nursing our sweet dog, Gracie, back to health when her intestinal cancer took a turn for the worse.

Guatemala’s country motto should be, “Expect nothing because nothing will be what you expect.” We expected so little that we only planned for a few weeks in Guatemala. Five months later, we were considering moving there.

Guatemala was similar to neither Mexico nor Belize. Just over 60 percent of Guatemala’s population is of mixed Amerindian-Spanish descent.

The remaining 40 percent belong to one of 23 Mayan ethnic groups, making

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Guatemala one of the countries with the largest indigenous populations in Latin America.

Except in large cities, most women wear traditional Mayan outfits, unique to the towns and villages they are from.

Outrageous and campy chicken buses line every road. There are a few wellmaintained highways but by and large the “roads” of Guatemala were in far worse shape than anywhere we had been thus far.

We began our trip into Guatemala by stopping in Flores, a small town in the middle of a lake that seems to be every traveler’s introduction to the Guate way of life. Flores was more developed and metropolitan than we had expected— most travel around Flores is done by way

APRIL 2018

of tuk-tuks or small boats called lanchas.

Most people visit several ruins, particularly Tikal, while in Guatemala, but we had seen so many in Mexico and Belize that we just couldn’t take any more for a while. From Flores, we headed south to a volcano-fed (there are seven active volcanoes in Guatemala and 26 inactive ones) hot spring, called the Cascades de Paraiso, that turned into a boiling waterfall feeding into a cool pool.

Guatemala was not as well set up for camping as Mexico and Belize had been. The weather was scorching, the air was sticky. I was homesick. This was all a recipe for the complete meltdown I had, almost ending our trip early. But, it wasn’t the first, wouldn’t be the last, and

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at times like this all you can do is call home, cry, get a hotel room or Airbnb, take a hot shower, sleep in a real bed, shake it off and keep going.

We needed something amazing, scenery that would blow us away. After seven hours of the roughest road of our trip to date (and one of my favorite adventures!), we finally made it into the town of Lanquin where we set up camp at a hostel called Utopia.

The next day we hiked to the remote and hidden world wonder that is Semuc Champey. A series of crystal blue mineral pools that have formed a limestone bridge over a raging river, it is easily one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

From Semuc Champey we went to a few other small towns and then to Lake Atitlan, known to be a spiritual energy center, the lake, surrounded by three volcanoes, is full of American hippies and new-ageists. The lake is said to have magical healing properties. Here, we attended a cacao ceremony, practiced yoga and enjoyed silence—this trip gave us the opportunity to explore all the sides of ourselves that the real world had little patience for.

After a couple of weeks at the lake we were ready for a city and past ready for an Airbnb. To Antigua we went. The colonial city, seated at the base of a volcano, is popular among artists, writers, and, frankly, the most interesting people we met our entire trip. Full of beautiful, grand old buildings, some ravaged by earthquakes but still standing, and cobblestone streets, Antigua is miles and miles of wondrous walkability.

We could feel it in the air—the high vibrato a city gives off when there are gays nearby. We just had to find them.

We joined the local Facebook page for expats and asked where we could find our people. Across the board, every commenter pointed us in one direction—to Frida’s Restaurant and its owner, Maggie.

Frida’s hosts weekly dance parties and a once a month VIP Night, specifically for the gays. And wow, do the gays come out! We also learned of five other gay bars in Antigua, far more than we expected for such a small city.

On a particularly random VIP Night at Frida’s, we ran into Daniela Sea, “Max” from The L Word.

In Antigua, we also met GG, a wise and mouthy photographer from Brooklyn who relocated to Antigua a couple of decades ago, only to become a Mayan priestess and launch her chocolatemaking empire. With GG, we hiked barefoot in the sacred mountains outside of Antigua. She taught us enough Mayan words to say hello, goodbye and to offer someone a ride into town.

Antigua was the second place on our trip (Guadalajara, Mexico being the first) that we felt could be a potential forever-home. With Antigua as our base, we explored the southern beaches of Guatemala, with black sand and freezing water, and visited the nearby city of Xela, which blew our minds with the rainbow “gay friendly business” stickers on retail storefronts.

It was difficult to leave Antigua. We lived in a nice apartment for the majority of our time there. A personal trainer was $8 an hour for both of us, so we went to the gym daily. We had friends, straight and gay, we went hiking and exploring regularly. It was comfortable without being predictable. Under the care of a talented veterinarian, Gracie thrived again. The people welcomed us into their daily lives and it was easy to feel at home.

However, after five months and with heavy hearts, it was time to move on. It was time for El Salvador. Don’t Go There.

It’s Not safe. You’ll Die. These were the worried cries from friends and family, when they found out we were heading to the murder capital of the world, home of the infamous MS-13.

After a laidback border crossing, we made our way down the Ruta de Flores (the Route of Flowers) towards our first destination, the sleepy surf village of El Zonte in La Libertad.

El Salvador continued to teach us the most repeated lesson of the trip: that we know nothing, about anything at all. We found no heads hanging from bridges, no masked men lurking behind every corner. We heard no gunshots and in the six weeks we spent in El Salvador,

never once did we feel unsafe.

El Salvador was quiet, laidback, stunning and unassuming. Its people were friendly, welcoming and grateful that we were there, giving their beautiful country a chance. They know its reputation and it saddens them.

Gracie was recovering from the surgery she had in Guatemala, and we knew our sweet girl’s time on this Earth was getting short. We were determined to fill her days with runs on the beach and swims in the ocean. Her nights would be full of treats and belly rubs around a campfire.

In El Salvador, we camped on the beaches of El Tunco and El Cuco. We each tried our hand at surfing. Neither of us were very good at it. We spent quiet days at the Laguna de Alegria, a turquoise lake in a crater on the top of a mountain. We watched a baby turtle release.

Because real, day to day life is part of this kind of fulltime travel, I needed to see a doctor for swimmer’s ear and the car needed some attention. This meant we would have to go into the city of San Salvador, said to be one of the most dangerous cities in the world.

Looking back, our fear and trepidation makes me laugh out loud.

We found San Salvador to be clean, modern, hipster, metropolitan, and, generally, safe. Our first meal was at an Olive Garden. That is not to say there aren’t suburbs of the city or areas at night that we would recommend not walking around.

We stayed in a health-centered, yoga hotel for the couple of weeks we were there. While Guatemala was defined by chaos, El Salvador was defined by chill.

It was “muy tranquilo, siempre.”

Tune in next month for the final installment of our four-part series about the Vagabroads 2-year journey through Mexico and Central America. We will tell you about staring into the caldera of an active volcano in Nicaragua, then surfing down the side of it, almost sliding to our death off of a jungle mountain in Costa Rica, and swimming with sloths in the islands of Panama.

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HEALTH

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Hayes Nissan Rivergate, Tim McIntyre 1550 Gallatin Road North Madison, TN 37115 352-454-4145 | nissanofrivergate.com

Look East (Optometrist) 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-928-2281 | lookeastnashville.com Christopher May DC (Chiropractic) 2933 Berry Hill Drive Nashville, TN 37204 615-220-0777 | doctormay.net Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Bradley Bullock, MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 | coolspringsinternalmedicine.com Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza 615-371-1210 Skyline Medical 615-724-0066 npspharmcay.com SPIRITUALITY Covenant of the Cross 752 Madison Square Madison, TN 37115 615-612-5040 | covenantofthecross.com Holy Trinity Community Church 6727 Charlotte Pike Nashville TN 37209 615-352-3838 | htccnashville.com PERFORMING ARTS Nashville Symphony Schermerhorn Symphony Center One Symphony Place Nashville, TN 37201 615-687-6400 | nashvillesymphony.org

BARS & NIGHTCLUBS PLAY Dance Bar 1519 Church Street | Nashville, TN 37203 615-322-9627 | playdancebar.com Tribe 1517 Church Street | Nashville, TN 37203 615-329-2912 | tribenashville.com REAL ESTATE Sheila Barnard, Realtor THE REALTY ASSOCIATION 1305 Murfreesboro Rd | Nashville, TN 37212 615-385-9010 sheilabarnard.realtyassociation.com Kate Nelson, Realtor VILLAGE REAL ESTATE 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-383-6964 | realestatewithkate.com ORGANIZATIONS Nashville Humane Association 213 Oceola Avenue | Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-1010 | nashvillehumane.org

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES Bart Durham Injury Law Office 404 James Robertson Parkway Nashville, TN 37219 615-338-6177 | bartdurham.com John Cannon Studios 1108-C Woodland Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-496-1259 | johncannonart.com Papa & Roberts, PLLC, Attorney and Consultants Benjamin Papa/ Attorney & Mediator 1612 Westgate Circle. Ste 220 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-767-5900 | PapaRoberts.com Bail U Out Bonding 306 Gay Street Suite G-2 Nashville, TN 37201 615-254-9555 | bailuoutbonding.com PET SERVICES Wags & Whiskers Pet Supplies & Dog Wash 1008 Forrest Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-228-9249 | wagsandwiskersnashville.com

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OVER

the RAINBOW

P RE P PING FO R PREP An LGBTQ+ parent of a teen with vivid memories of the AIDS epidemic asks a top doc to fully explain the PrEP drug strategy for preventing HIV infection

Julie Chase: Let’s assume here that my teen has admitted to following in my footsteps and is asking for practical advice about staying safe from HIV. What would you suggest I tell her?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: First, in this type of situation, it is wonderful that a teen is willing to have a conversation with a parent about staying healthy, their sexuality and their activity, because many teens do not have this kind of relationship with their parents, so that would put you ahead of the game.

The key is to figure out what you can do to best support them as they are making decisions about how they want to stay safe and to stay healthy. PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) is certainly a very reasonable choice for higher risk youth to stay HIV negative.

Now one of the challenges is that we have limited data in adolescents around the use of PrEP, particularly because it’s not approved for anyone under eighteen. There are plenty of providers that are using it, and plenty of clinics that think it’s the right thing to do, and so that’s again a very personal decision for any one individual to make. But I think it’s great that your child would (potentially) be thinking “What is the right thing for me?”

It comes down to balancing risk and benefit. We know that PrEP is highly effective at preventing transmission of HIV, and so ...

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if they think it’s the right thing to do, then I certainly encourage them to consider going on it. One of the challenges is that it is important to be consistent with taking the drug, as much as one can be with taking any medication.

Julie Chase: In layman’s terms, how does PrEP work?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: PrEP is an antiretroviral drug strategy. Simply put, it allows one’s body to not acquire the HIV virus.

It’s the same medication that we use to treat HIV infections, and it prevents viral replication if someone has been exposed to HIV. Julie Chase: Is it sort of like a flu shot then?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: It’s not really like a flu shot in that the mechanism [of prevention] is actually quite different, but it is like a flu shot in that it is something you do in advance of exposure to prevent illness. Now, the good news is that PrEP is much more effective than the flu shot, which this year is only covering about a third of the strain that is running around. It is one of the best tools we think we have in reducing the spread of HIV. Julie Chase: Ok, in my 1980’s era mind, I remember it being drilled into my head that viruses are living things and can mutate into different forms in order to stay alive. Am I out of line if I am worried that HIV may one day mutate into something that PrEP cannot handle, down the road?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: That’s a great question. There are concerns about the longterm effectiveness of the drug, and there is active surveillance going on to understand how the drug and the virus interact our in the community. As of right now, we do not see [any such mutations] happening.

The use of PrEP as a tool to prevent HIV has science behind it as a technique, and it’s a strategy that most credible and reputable medical organizations support to prevent HIV infections. The American Medical Association is fully behind the use of PrEP: Pediatrics isn’t there yet because the data isn’t there for the adolescent population as of yet.

APRIL 2018

ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

I was frisky and bisexual, but careful, when I was the age my daughter is now. We were more worried about herpes then. HIV was just hitting the scene, and I was merely lucky not to have been infected. The majority of my generation were not.

I recently cornered Jesse Ehrenfeld, M.D., Director of The Vanderbilt Program for LGBTQI Health at the program’s recent symposium. With my daughter (and my past) in mind, I asked him to explain to me the PrEP strategy for the prevention of HIV infection.

You can never know enough about this subject when you have a teen in your household, or if you are a sexually active member of the community.

If someone is trying to decide if they are going to use condoms every time reliably and consistently, even if they may be in an impaired state out late at night, or they can take a pill at lunch every day and know that they are good, that’s a personal decision. There are people who know they cannot reliably use condoms and it’s just not something that is likely to be a successful strategy for them in preventing infection by HIV. That’s a group of people that I would always point to PrEP, because we know that it is a strategy that can be highly effective in preventing transmission.

Julie Chase: Is PrEP generally intended for people who are considered to be more sexually active?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: The guidelines right now recommend prescribing to people who are considered high risk. There are lots of high risk groups out there, but particularly anyone in the LGBTQ+ community we would consider to be high risk for the potential acquisition of HIV. Julie Chase: Does PrEP prevent the acquisition or transmission of other sexually transmitted infections (STI’s)?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: No, it does not.

One of the challenges around acceptability of PrEP from a public health standpoint is the concern that people will take PrEP but will not use condoms and risk exposing themselves to all the other STI’s out there. PrEP does not prevent someone from getting infected by other STI’s. You should use condoms along

DR. JESSE EHRENFELD

with PrEP every time you have sex, but we also know that most people do not do that.

Julie Chase: For the record here, just how important do you consider condom usage to be in preventing the transmission of STI’s?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: Very important. I always encourage the use of condoms. We know there are a lot of other STI’s out there, and we have tremendous problems with syphilis, particularly in the South.

Condoms should always be the first line of defense, but we know that people are not always consistent and fail to use them appropriately or effectively. Remember, condoms can break too. There are lots of reasons why condom use has not reduced the epidemic the way that they could if they worked 100% of the time.

So, I would always tell anyone to whom we are prescribing PrEP that the best scenario is to use it with a condom consistently every time, but at a minimum being on PrEP is likely to prevent transmission of the HIV virus.

Julie Chase: How would you deal with a parent who expresses concern that PrEP may encourage risky sexual behaviour?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: Respectfully. We have the same kind of issue primarily in our adolescent clinics with parents who are against birth control and access to condoms.

While remembering that anyone over the age of eighteen can make this type of decision on their own, and keeping in mind the potential financial costs that might be incurred for some of these measures, we are constantly navigating these issues amongst our 15-17 year old patients around access to contraception in general as well as preventative measures around the transmission of STI’s.

Julie Chase: Any last word for a parent like me with a teenager who recently entered high school?

Dr. Jesse Ehrenfeld: PrEP is a great tool. It is underutilized, and it is definitely worth having the conversation with your doctor about whether it is right for [you or your] loved ones.

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local trans woman.

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JAMES GRADY

Now in its seventh year, H8’s a Drag has become one of Nashville’s now-iconic fundraisers—certainly one of the largest for the Music City Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Over the years the event has evolved, but it always attracts renowned headliners, from RuPaul’s girls to online and film personalities. The last couple of events have featured classic comedy queens.

This year’s event, to be held on April 22, 2018, with Play Dance Bar’s doors opening at 6 p.m. for a community outreach fair and the show starting at 7:30 p.m., returns to the its roots as a more traditional drag show. But it has a very different kind of headliner—Chi Chi LaRue. Chi Chi (pronounced shee-shee) has been in drag since the mid-1980s, but she is much more widely known as one of the adult industry’s most prolific directors (initially working in both gay and straight porn) and more recently as a club DJ. In advance of the show, we caught up with Chi Chi to discuss her career in the adult industry, its intersections with the rest of her life, and her personal struggles. We’re sure that once you get to know her a little better, you’ll want to come out and see just what this queen has in store for Nashville!

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JAMES: So, drag, DJing, or directing adult films: Which came first?

CHI CHI: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, drag came first. You could say that DJing came first, because I used to play records for my friends, in the basement of my mom and dad’s house, when I was growing up in the ‘70s!

But, professionally, drag came first. I started in the Twin Cities, Minneapolis/St. Paul, and kind of like, as I do, took over the drag scene here, with a weekly show.

Then I moved to Los Angeles in 1986 and started doing drag at a local club in West Hollywood, and I was given the opportunity to direct, and that’s when my directing took off.

JAMES: How did you get interested in porn? I know you were involved in straight porn as well…

CHI CHI: Oh, I love straight porn! I’ve been into straight porn since I was fifteen years old. I was a huge fan of all the girls—I used to collect magazines, and stories about them. I was that boy, living in a small town in Minnesota… And I would drive to Duluth, Minnesota and go to this skanky adult theater, which I loved. I loved the smell, I loved the fact that they were making popcorn to sell to these perverts that liked to sit in the theater and jack off. I loved it!

I watched these movies, and just was so enamored with these women and men who could take their clothes off and have sex for people to watch. I just loved it. Because, I couldn’t even take my shirt off to get into the swimming pool.

Directing straight porn was a lot of fun. I got to buy wardrobes for these girls, and I would bring in some of my jewelry and my wigs... It was fabulous. And working for the biggest adult company out there was amazing! I got to direct Jenna Jameson’s last ten movies before she quit the business.

JAMES: How have you seen things change, over nearly 30 years in the industry?

CHI CHI: There’s fewer porn stars right now. Some of the girls I worked with are still doing movies, but I’m submerged in the gay industry. There’s a handful of big names that everybody knows, and a lot more who are really popular…

One big difference is, right now, you’ve got lots of boys, like Austin Wolfe, kicking ass on the Only Fans thing. A lot of really amazing guys out there are really taking this business seriously.

It never used to be that way: it used to be f**k, be f**ked, and get out.

Nowadays, you have to hustle. The number of movies being made maybe up, but the rates have gone down, and you have to work a little harder. But, in reality, making $800 for two to four hours of work is f**king great.

JAMES: As a director, who are some of the people you’ve enjoyed working with over the last few years?

CHI CHI: Wow… Wesley Woods, Seth Santoro, Pierce Paris, Curtis Wolfe, Armond Rizzo… I just worked with a fabulous guy named DeAngelo Jackson, who’d never worked for a major studio before. He’s just like one of the most beautiful men I have ever... He’s like, he’s like what you would fantasize about if your thing was “gorgeous football player…” He is so beautiful! It’s just... anyway, yeah, he’s my favorite now!

JAMES: What are some characteristics that make someone easy to work with, versus someone who may be a challenge?

CHI CHI: Attitude. I think insecurity plays a big part in it.

Where someone’s really insecure with themselves, they will lash out and be difficult, just so they can try to exude security, like they’re in charge when they’re really not.

JAMES: Do you think, you think people are looking for affirmation sometimes or...?

CHI CHI: Yeah, and I get that. I’m always looking for affirmation. Always. I’m probably one of the most insecure people you will ever meet. So yeah, I’m working on that, I’m working on that!

JAMES: Does drag kind of give you a way to get out of that some?

CHI CHI: Well, yes, but sometimes it can backfire. The confidence I exude in drag can be misconstrued as ego or bitchiness. Larry and Chi Chi are very different, but lately they’ve been kind of melting together.

And I think that’s okay, because I don’t wanna be a different person when I’m in and out of drag. I wanna be nice to people, I want to be good to others and hope that people will be good to themselves. You know, I do these daily little videos. They’re little affirmations I do because of my sobriety.

JAMES: Sobriety sounds like an important part of your life at this point. What brought you there, what got you…?

CHI CHI: Let’s see: falling down on my nose, f**king up gigs, shitting myself behind the DJ booth… I got tired of getting carried out of clubs, disappointing friends, embarrassing myself on stage, falling off the stage and taking all the DJ equipment with me right before Michelle Visage comes on stage. I was just really, really, really, really, really hurting myself.

JAMES: Do you think it’s harder in these industries—where the work is in bars and clubs—to stay sober?

CHI CHI: You know what, sweetie? It’s not the industry, it’s the person. You can struggle as a shoe salesman—going to the back and getting a size 7, for a bitchy woman—and want to just go drink, and tell her to fuck herself. Everyone’s under a microscope, though, in the adult industry. They have to keep themselves so perfect, you know, look great…

In the entertainment industry, you see all these people, and they’re dying from drug overdoses and these issues. I was an acquaintance of Prince: I was in Purple Rain. And Prince was someone that never drank; he was very pure. And I don’t know what brought him to that point—it was probably his intense pain from falling on stage, jumping around, and doing all those things that he did. So when he died, it was a big shock.

I’ve had my share of relapses: in fact, I just relapsed in January, in Las Vegas. I drank for one day, and I regret it. But it’s in the past, and I can’t dwell on it or hate myself for it. I have to just do better. I’ve been sober since then and I had two years under my belt. It’s always lurking right there on your shoulder waiting to take you.

If someone’s being bullied or harassed, they have an outlet, but maybe their outlet would be to drink or do drugs, or to over eat, or lash out, or whatever. Hurt somebody. Buy a gun and go shoot up a school. If you’re suffering and you’re hurting, you need to tell somebody. It’s very, very important.

It’s important to talk to people, and to know there’s other people out there just like me and you, that are struggling. You’re not the only one, and there’s help out there for everything.

JAMES: Well, to move away from the heavy stuff, are there any new projects you’re working on?

CHI CHI: Yeah! I’m about to direct for Naked Sword, next week I’m going to Las Vegas to shoot a movie for Naked Sword.

It’s a parody of the Nutty Professor…. Can you guess what we’re calling it? [laughter] And I just finished a sports-themed movie for Hot House… @OUTANDABOUTNASH 1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S 37

And then I am directing a huge new series for Icon Male. We have a name, but we’re not releasing the name yet. It’s very secret, but it’s gonna be really amazing. I shot twelve scenes already and shoot eight more scenes in April, before we launch it.

JAMES: So, for all those barely legal football players in Nashville trying to get into gay porn, what advice would you give them, besides come see Chi Chi after the show, of course?

CHI CHI: I would say, know that your image is going to be out there. Also, if you’re interested in working, you have at least two of the three key things: face, body, and dick. If you’ve got all three, you’re pretty much guaranteed a part.

It’s fun, though! If you’re sexually aware, if you’re sex positive and really not afraid to show off, then this could be the business for you. And right now there’s so many opportunities to make a lot of money by working for studios and then doing your own thing online to supplement. You know, you can do your own thing nowadays online. Hell, pay for your college doing adult movies and working on some of these self-produced sites, where you set up a camera in your bedroom, jerk off, and get members.

JAMES: So, what’s your performance for the Sister’s H8’s a Drag show going to include?

CHI CHI: I’m going to do whatever they need me to do. I’m going to perform. I’m going to DJ. I’m their puppet. Let them master me!

Miranda’s

ADULT STORES

For more information about this year’s H8’s a Drag as it becomes available, check out its event page at facebook.com/ events/1640116986063966.

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Be mellow. Be responsible.

MAY 4-6, 2018 TPAC’S JACKSON HALL

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