O&AN | December 2018

READERS’ 2018

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NASHVILLE LGBT CHAMBER WINS SOCIAL GROUP + CHAMBER CEO JOE WOOLLEY STARTS STRONG WITH TASTE DECEMBER 2018 / VOLUME 18 / ISSUE 12 FIRST ISSUE FREE - ADD’L COPIES 50¢ EACH

Combining traditional Korean sewing techniques with 21st-century 3-D modeling technologies, Do Ho Suh’s fascinating sculptural installations are a reflection on the search for home and its meaning for our identities.

Suh’s exhibition, which includes small sculptures, drawings and video installations, invites you to explore your own sense of place and understanding of home through his beautiful transformations of a living space’s most mundane objects.

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Supported in part by:

Do Ho Suh. Toilet, Apartment A, 348 West 22nd Street, New York, NY 10011, USA, 2013. Polyester fabric, stainless steel wire, and display case with LEDs, 44½ x 33⅛ x 37½ in. Private collection. © Do Ho Suh. Photo: Taegsu Jeon

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STAFF

Publisher: Jerry Jones jjones@outandaboutnashville.com

Managing Editor: James Grady jgrady@outandaboutnashville.com

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CONTRIBUTORS

CONTENTS

Writers: Craig Ammon, Julie Chase, Dylan Doughty, Kathryn Eastburn, James Grady, Joel Meriwether, Chloe Miller

Photographers: Dylan Doughty, Kathryn Eastburn, James

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Grady, Myl Pac

Cover: Nashville LGBT Chamber CEO Joe Woolley (Model);

LIPS TOGETHER, TEETH APART

James Grady (Photography)

OPENS ON WORLD AIDS DAY

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OPPORTUNITIES

Out & About Nashville welcomes volunteer writers, photographers and videographers throughout the year. If you’re interested in contributing to our publication, send an email to editor@outandaboutnashville.com with a resume, contact information and samples of your work if available. Our volunteer staff is unpaid, but contributors do receive credit for their work in our print publication and online. Those seeking an internship in journalism or mass communications are strongly encouraged to apply.

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content of Out & About Nashville is copyrighted 2017 by Out & About Nashville, Inc. and is protected by federal copyright law and shall not be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. All photography is licensed stock imagery or has been supplied unless otherwise credited to a photographer and may not be reproduced without permission. The

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The appearance of names or pictorial representations does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of the person or persons. Out & About Nashville accepts unsolicited material but cannot take responsibility for its return. The editor reserves the right to accept, reject or edit submissions. All rights revert to authors upon publication. The editorial positions of Out & About Nashville are expressed in editorials and in the editor’s notes as determined by the editor. Other opinions are those of writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Out & About Nashville or its staff. Letters to the editor are encouraged but may be edited for clarity and length. There is no guarantee that letters will be published. Out & About Nashville only accepts adult advertising within set guidelines and on a case-by-case basis.

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DECEMBER 2018

Lips Together, Teeth Apart Opens on World AIDS Day EXPLORING GUILT & RESPONSIBILITY

BY JOEL MERIWETHER

Terrence McNally wrote Lips Together, Teeth Apart as his response to the Reagan administration’s apathy during the fight against AIDS, as well as the ignorance and conspiracy theories surrounding the then new and unknown virus.

McNally has described Lips Together, Teeth Apart as a play about love "in the middle" of relationships. For him, it belongs between the first flush of romance, so thrillingly captured in Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune (focused on two lonely, middleaged people, whose first date ends with their tumbling into bed) and the tragic end of love that he darkly depicted in The Lisbon Traviata (revolving around fans of opera singer Maria Callas, and their gay relationships).

I was really too young to remember much about the beginnings of the epidemic, but I do remember the reaction to it. I remember hearing rumors that the infection could be contracted via toilet seats, or kissing, or even tears. Some friends said they were going to stop having sex altogether. The religious right proclaimed it God’s wrath on gay people.

When Rock Hudson, I was a college sophomore in Michigan, and it seemed so implausible that the actor, a leading man and prominent heartthrob of Hollywood’s Golden Age, had succumbed to the “gay disease.”

I remember the first time I knew of someone in my circle dying of AIDS. I was directing a play at the former Actor’s Playhouse of Nashville on West End in mid1992 when I was told that a mutual friend, who had performed in several productions at the Playhouse, had recently passed. His death seemed to be followed by many in quick succession. The Nashville theatre community was pretty small, and even one death had a devastating impact.

This May, I began reading plays for a quartet of actors I wanted to cast, and Lips Together, Teeth Apart was looking for. Four middle-aged actors who portray two straight couples spending July 4 on Fire Island, the small, but internationally-known, barrier island off of the coast of New York’s Long Island, which is home to two upscale and thriving gay resort towns: Cherry Grove and Fire Island Pines.

Once I had formally offered the roles to Phil Brady [who has since been replaced by

Bowd Beal due to medical emergency], Trin Blakely, Doug Allen, and Kathleen Jaffe and after we’d had our initial readthrough and discussion, I had an epiphany as to the social importance of presenting this play, especially in an election year during which our current President has staked out reactionary social positions to incite a volatile debate that serves to enliven his political base.

Many parallels could easily be drawn between the characters on the page and this political base who are willfully ignorant about contemporary social issues. The four characters—Sally and Sam Truman, Sam’s sister, Chloe Haddock, and her husband, John—are often unlikable. They spew their hatred and homophobia; their dislike is softened only by their internal monologues which reveal they are all drowning in their own pain and misery and a desperate sense of individual isolation.

The three acts of the play are set at morning, noon and night on July 4, and through the long day's journey into night, we discover that Sally feels very guilty about never fully acknowledging the sexual orientation of her brother and that he died of AIDS without being surrounded by family; that Sally and John had a brief affair; that John has cancer; and, that all four feel ambivalent about their gay neighbors, whom they continually castigate in private conversation.

Certainly the dialogue is peppered with humdrum stuff about what everyone wants to eat, how they want it prepared, what they're wearing, and what they're going to do with the kids (who were left with a baby-sitter)— who insist, by long-distance, on going on a hayride in the rain.

But shot through it all, as a reminder of the larger picture, is an unseen gay swimmer in the distance, who swims off into the ocean and never returns. That swimmer epitomizes giving up on life. He forces the couples to come to terms with the parts in themselves that fear death and the parts that would like to embrace it.

In a conversation with the original cast published in the New York Times, Swoosie Kurtz (the original Sally) told Mervyn Rothstein, “The play is at least in part about responsibility.

Specifically, the responsibility of heterosexuals to reach out to the gay community in this time of AIDS, to not just turn a blind eye to

KATHLEEN JAFFE PLAYING SALLY TRUMAN

DOUG ALLEN PLAYING SAM TRUMAN

the situation. But more universally, the play is about whether you can just watch somebody in trouble and think there isn’t anything you can do. You can at least try.”

Only a week later, David Richards, in his Times article “Two Shapes of Comedy – Tragic and Spoof,” called the play “fascinating and ultimately quite touching. He noted that the couples were “out of sync with one another”, retreating into their own private activities, and were self-absorbed. Further, they are out of place, in a house where one of the characters’ (Sally’s) brother has died of AIDS. New York Times theatre critic Anita Gates wrote that “the theme of the weekend is mortality (the insect-electrocuting device hangs somewhere on the line between metaphor and parallel) as well as isolation and the exhausting but occasionally fulfilling pursuit of happiness.”

In addition to the parallels drawn with contemporary political distinctions, I knew I

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wanted to schedule the play when it would have the most impact. I reached out to the Barbershop Theater and we were in luck: our play could coincide with World AIDS Day, observed December 1 every year since 1988.

World AIDS Day is an international day dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection. To that end, Rogue Stage Ensemble has partnered with Nashville CARES, which

TRIN BLAKELY PLAYING CHLOE HADDOCK

will give a presentation during intermission on Saturday, December 1.

We feel very humbled to partner with Nashville CARES, as our production is the organizations only event for this year’s World AIDS Day. We will pass the plate in hopes of procuring a few extra dollars to benefit their very important mission.

As part of our rehearsal process, we requested a representative from Nashville CARES engage the cast in a discussion. Lisa Binkley, Associate Director of Prevention, and Tina Ross, Safely First Specialist, visited rehearsal on November 1 and discussed prevention, safety, testing, and seroconversion (the time period during which a specific antibody develops and becomes detectable in the blood after initial infection).

We ended the evening with discussion of statistics and I think we were all stunned: Nashville is 7th in the nation for new HIV infections; first in the nation for testing positive for Chlamydia and Gonorrhea; and, most alarming -- 50% of all black gay males test positive for HIV. Rogue Stage Ensemble, in special arrangement with Dramatist’s Play Service, will be presenting the play November 30 through December 16, 2017, at the Barbershop Theater (4003 Indiana Avenue). Performances are Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays

at 2:30 p.m. Tickets are $15.00 in advance through www.eventbrite.com, or $18.00 at the door on the day of the performance.

Throughout the run of the play, Nashville Cares will have a table set up for information, and, at our December 1 performance, Nashville CARES’ Lisa Binkley will give a presentation and we will take up a collection to benefit their mission. For other performances, we will continue to take donations.

BOWD BEAL PLAYING JOHN HADDOCK

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WORDS MATTER—LIVES HANG IN THE BALANCE Local Student Speaks Out About Harassment in Schools

PHOTOS: KATHRYN EASTBURN

CHLOE MILLER

“We take bullying very seriously and have a zero-tolerance rule. Your safety is our highest priority,” my principal announced. I feel a pain in my chest as I realized slowly that she should have added “but not if you are LGBTQ+.”

I walk the halls with disgusted glances being thrown my way. I notice how my experiences aren’t reflected in history classes. I am considered abnormal by my peers, and it is a normal occurrence for slurs to be directed my way in the halls.

I feel invisible.

LGBTQ+ youth constantly face situations such as these, from the usage of slurs to demeaning conversations that sexualize LGBTQ+ identities. When most think of harassment, they think of clear, overt physical or sexual violence.

But harassment also includes subtler violences. Often, it comes in the form of microaggressions. Microaggressions, a term coined in 1970, are subversive comments and actions that contain subtle discrimination. Because these comments are harder to identify, they are harder to address, and they allow folks to be open about their homophobia without risk of backlash.

Microaggressions include the usage of phrases like “That’s so gay,” “You’re pretty for a lesbian,” and “You don’t even look trans!”

While these statements may seem small, these everyday occurrences lead to long-term health problems, including the deterioration of mental health. For LGBTQ+ students, this can manifest as declining student performance and/or chronic absenteeism.

In the newly released bi-annual National report on LGBTQ+ students’ experiences in schools conducted by GLSEN, it was found that, for the first time following years of decline, there has been a rise in verbal harassment targeted towards LGBTQ+ students regarding sexual orientation and gender expression. The lack of an explicit local and federal anti-bullying policies protecting LGBTQ+ students contributes to this by allowing LGBTQ+ students to continually be bullied by both other students and staff.

I am not protected in my school district, situated right outside of Nashville. In the Williamson County Schools System’s anti-harassment policy there are no protections against harassment based on gender identity, gender expression, or sexual orientation. With the current administration’s alleged plan to redefine sex under Title IX to exclude intersex and transgender people, there is an urgent need for local,

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proactive, and specific protection policies that safeguard LGBTQ+ students like me.

When I have filed a report on harassment, I was told by staff members that “there is nothing they can do” for me, leaving me in isolation. This communicates that LGBTQ+ students are not as important as straight and cisgender students.

Being treated as if your safety is less important has lasting mental health implications. The same 2017 GLSEN report stated that, while the number of unsupportive staff in schools has grown, so has the suicidality of LGBTQ+ students. Every student, regardless of identity, needs to feel supported. When there is a lack of support in school environments, it can have direct effects on LGBTQ+ student’s GPA, mental health, and sense of safety.

By explicitly adding LGBTQ+ people to anti-harassment and non-discrimination policies, our schools can commit themselves to fully protecting more of their students.

At the beginning of this year, Williamson County School Board updated its Anti-Harassment bill, policy 6.304, creating more effective and productive ways for students to report, and schools to address, harassment. The changes the board has made signals to us that the board cares, to some extent, about the safety of their students and are willing to make changes to support them. It is time for the expansion of the policy to explicitly protect students like me.

LGBTQ+ students need adult accomplices to come out in support of updating anti-discrimination language to better protect youth, now more than ever, under the current, hostile administration.

Schools need to make changes to be more welcoming to gender and sexuality minorities.

In order to address erasure and harassment in their own classrooms, educators can introduce LGBTQ+ inclusive curriculum.

GLSEN offers specific activities, including a historical timeline and suggestions of children’s books that show LGBTQ+ students in a positive light. Schools can create gender-sexuality alliances (GSA’s) as intentional spaces for LGBTQ+ students.

Students, regardless of identity, need support from their teachers as they navigate school and life. It is when teachers, in partnership with young people, lead by example and advocate for inclusivity and equity, that systemic changes can be implemented, and LGBTQ+ students are able to feel protected and honored.

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NASHVILLE LGBT CHAMBER’S BIGGEST EVENT TO DATE The Nashville LGBT Chamber welcomed a sell-out crowd of 345 guests to sample food and drink from 24 vendors at its seventh annual fundraiser TASTE, on Sunday, November 18, 2018.

For the fourth year, guests looked out over Nashville’s skyline, with rainbow colors seen on two iconic structures, the Gateway Bridge and City Hall. The Titans Stadium scoreboards were also lit with the Chamber and TASTE logos, welcoming guests to the stadium. Guests were invited to enter the stadium seats on the club level and take group pictures and selfies with the scoreboards lit behind them.

Joe Woolley, CEO of the LGBT Chamber said, “I will never forget the feeling I had when I walked out and saw the scoreboards lit up, it gave me chills. The Chamber has come so far in its twenty years, and this just seems like another level. The Chamber’s new logo, created by Noelle Grimes of DVL Seigenthaler, proudly and prominently features the colors of the LGBT rainbow flag. I wonder if our founders ever thought we would be here? And as we say with our 20th Anniversary motto, ‘We are just getting started!’”

The silent and live auction generated over $22,000 in support for the LGBT Chamber Foundation’s mission to provide educational resources and opportunities for LGBT professionals and business owners.

Judges for the event this year included sponsors and community partners of the Chamber.

“Being a judge for taste is a lot of fun, and I really wanted to use those positions to say thanks. Thanks to the sponsors that give so generously to make the event happen. And this year I wanted to thank our incredible community partners that we work so great with on a number of different issues to make the city better on multiple fronts.” Woolley said.

Sponsors were Nissan, Dell, Waller, MediCopy, and Comcast. Community ally partners were Metro Business Assistance Office, Mayors Office, Nashville Area Chamber, Convention and Visitors Corporation, the Nashville Entrepreneur Center, Conexión Américas, and the Nashville Area Hispanic Chamber. LGBT community partners

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included Tennessee Equality Project, Human Rights Campaign, Nashville Pride and Out & About Nashville.

Judges scored 24 vendors who competed in eight award categories. Winners of the coveted awards were: ● Best Food Presentation - SomruS ● Best Booth Decor - A Catered Affair (second year in a row) ● Best Beer - Music City Light ● Best Cocktail - Jeptha Creed Distillery, “Blue Lemonade” ● Best Appetizer - The Mockingbird, “Don’t Worry Brie Happy” grilled cheese ● Best Dessert - Jeni’s Ice Cream, “Frosé the Sorbet” ● Best Entree - Chaatable, “Beef Shank Stew” ● People’s Choice - The Mockingbird (second year in a row) The silent and live auctions for the event grows every year. This year, over 100 items were available ranging from gift certificates from TASTE vendors and local members to art and merchandise from community supporters. Auction highlights were a ride on the Zamboni for Predators Pride night, Breakfast with Mayor Briley, a Dell Laptop, and a week stay in Punta Cana, the Dominican Republic that was donated by Ron Sanford to the top two bidders. A record $22,000 was raised from both auctions.

“I am so proud of the amazing growth of the event this year,” said Woolley. “Nashville has a plenty of food tasting events, but vendors and guests continue to tell us TASTE is one of their favorites.

We have benefitted from the right combination of venue, leadership, sponsors, volunteers, vendors, marketing, and purpose. People support this event because they are inspired to support the LGBT community, and it has resulted in one of the best tasting events in Nashville. It will be hard to top this one but we look forward to a larger and more successful TASTE in 2019.”

See more at www.tastenashville.org or www.nashvillelgbtchamber.org.

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Diversity Builder CRAIG AMMON

The Nashville LGBT Chamber received a $25,000 grant from Metro Nashville in June and a $2,500 grant from Wells Fargo in August, to grow and certify LGBT owned businesses. Each month the Chamber will highlight one of our members that already is an LGBT BE (LGBT Business Enterprise) or is in the process of getting certification. To find out more about certification, contact the Chamber.

Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce members know that fostering diversity in the workplace strengthens companies and improves performance in a competitive marketplace. By ensuring that their work environment is welcoming for everyone—including members of the LGBT community and other minority groups—companies can attract the best talent. Their employees feel valued, comfortable just being themselves, and can focus on doing their best work. And truly embracing diversity provides a solid foundation for teamwork that brings out the best from all employees.

Many of the Nashville LGBT Chamber members featured in this column are independent business owners who make it a point to foster diversity and inclusiveness in their companies. Others are enthusiastic employees often working in human resources or volunteering with an employee resource group specifically to improve the inclusivity of corporate policies and culture. But if companies lack such influential ‘insiders’ to help them learn about and foster inclusivity, how do they get to that point?

Whether a company is proactively advancing inclusivity because they’re already aware of its benefits or doing damage control after some unfortunate event, companies need guidance from experienced diversity trainers. Diversity Builder, Inc., is an LGBT-owned Nashville company that offers training and consulting for other companies and organizations interested in fostering inclusion.

Diversity Builder facilitates programs on the topics of diversity and inclusion, harassment prevention, cultural competency, and leadership excellence. One of their founders, Rachel Stanton, says that companies that incorporate consistent inclusive training programs and advocate respect in the workplace experience valuable benefits for their employees that, in turn, improve company performance. These benefits include improved communication, enhanced employee performance and morale, higher employee retention rates, and better innovation. And, of course, more inclusive companies experience fewer human resource incidences, charges, and discrimination lawsuits.

Diversity Builder’s unique approach to instructor-led training and utilization of trainers with diverse cultural, educational and professional backgrounds help clients

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successfully develop a lasting culture of inclusion. Stanton said, “It is our belief that successfully integrating inclusion and developing cultural competency requires practice and implementation following the initial training sessions.”

Their trainers and consultants offer tools, resources, and support to employees and leadership. “Other trainers feel their job is done after their training class ends,” said Stanton. “Our trainers know that this is where the real work starts. A true culture shift requires team members to integrate action plans and engage accountability partners.”

But how did this company build its reputation? Diversity Builder was founded in 2003 with the mission of building a directory of inclusive businesses for members of marginalized groups seeking services.

Their founders recognized a need for a national resource directory that offered professionals and health care providers who welcome all patients and clientele.

Stanton worked as the Training Manager for CIGNA Healthcare. It was clear to her in that role that there was a shortage of LGBT-welcoming healthcare providers, and they were difficult for LGBT patients to locate in smaller cities across the US. For instance, finding a welcoming dentist who would accept gay men as patients was a far more daunting task in Jackson, Mississippi than New York or Los Angeles.

Diversity Builder took on the challenge of identifying and listing LGBT-welcoming providers in every state across the nation. The diversity directory focused on inclusive healthcare providers and was the first of its kind to encompass every state in the nation.

By 2004, Diversity Builder had already begun receiving calls from businesses that had learned about the directory and didn’t qualify as an inclusive provider. They wanted information on how to improve their company’s inclusivity in the workplace, so they could be included in the directory and have the opportunity to serve those groups. As a result, Diversity Builder formed its Training and Consulting Division to equip organizations and staff with knowledge and strategies to establish a thriving inclusive workplace culture.

Diversity Builder was one of the earliest members of the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce. Stanton says she recalls attending meetings back in the days when we called ourselves the Nashville Association of Professional Persons. Stanton said that, over the years, local residents and leaders have often asked her about the Nashville LGBT Chamber and expressed interest in attending Chamber events, so she appreciates the reputation the Chamber has earned.

Stanton said her company has benefited from their membership.

In fact, Diversity Builder leveraged their connections and experience gained through the Nashville chapter to become the first training com-

pany certified as a diverse supplier by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Stanton said she sees Diversity Builder’s involvement with the Chamber as their way of giving back to the LGBT community because she appreciates all the Chamber is doing to make a difference for LGBT-welcoming businesses. “Diversity Builder sees the challenges and barriers LGBT employees face in Nashville and the need for workplace education. Each local company we reach through training can be a catalyst for changing Nashville’s larger workplace culture. We commend the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce for recognizing local corporations for their commitment to diversity through their annual Excellence in Business awards.”

In 2018 Diversity Builder was selected by the LGBT Chamber Foundation and the Nashville Area Chamber of Commerce to receive a scholarship to scale their business through the Scale Nashville program.

It is a competitive training program exclusively for Middle Tennessee’s small businesses. This six-month program assists growth-oriented small businesses grow revenue, build staff, and expand services. Being selected was a great honor for Stanton and Diversity Builder.

Stanton said, “We were thrilled to receive the support of two high-contributing organizations doing such meaningful work. Because of the increased exposure, several local companies have contacted Diversity Builder seeking training and consulting. Working on training projects in our own backyard and being part of the cultural change in Nashville is particularly rewarding.”

After participating in Scale Nashville, Diversity Builder is taking a closer look at the segments of its business that are scalable. They are incorporating blended learning solutions for their clients that allow them to reach more learners than before, while enhancing effectiveness. In doing so, they will have a broader impact furthering workplace protections and inclusiveness in Middle Tennessee and nationwide.

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Peter Pan and Tinkerbell Make Their Way to Nashville Out Actor Garrett Clayton to Play Peter Pan STAFF

Tennessee Performing Arts Center (TPAC) and the Lythgoe Family Panto will present the holiday spectacular Peter Pan and Tinkerbell—A Pirate’s Christmas from December 13–23, 2018.

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell—A Pirate’s Christmas is a singing, swashbuckling adventure performed in the high-flying style of a British holiday panto. Take off on a wild quest with Tinker Bell, Wendy, and Peter Pan as they try to put a stop to the plot of some dastardly pirates who plan to kidnap Peter as a present to Captain Hook.

Filled with big laughs, magic, dancers and contemporary songs by everyone from Taylor Swift to the Bee Gees, this family show has a little bit of something for everyone. The star-led production blends fairytales, comedy, the holidays, dancing, contemporary songs and local and regional references to create an unforgettable theater experience.

John O’Hurley of Seinfeld, Broadway’s Chicago, Dancing with the Stars, and Spamalot will take on the role of Captain Hook, with direction

by BT McNichol (Cabaret, Spamalot) and choreography by Spencer Liff (Broadway’s Head Over Heels, Deaf West Broadway Revival of Spring Awakening, and So You Think You Can Dance.)

Tegan Marie, who will play Wendy, became the youngest female artist—at age 13—to sign to a major Country label (Warner Music Nashville) in over 45 years. The young singer-songwriter, now 14, was first discovered by girls’ media company Sweety High when her family started uploading her videos at age 7. Featured on the 2018 watch lists for Billboard, Rolling Stone, and Huffington Post, she has has shared the stage with artists such as Cam, Hunter Hayes, and Kelsea Ballerini.

Garrett Clayton, who joins the cast as Peter Pan, is best known for his leading role in the hit Disney Channel movies Teen Beach Movie and Teen Beach Movie 2. Clayton will next be seen in Between Worlds opposite Nicholas Cage, as well as a lead in the indie film Peel opposite Emile Hirsch. His film Reach—a topical look at depression in young people hits theaters next month.

Clayton generated some noteriaety when he played the lead— Brent Corrigan—in the indie feature King Cobra opposite James Franco and Christian Slater, which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival to incredible reviews. This was an edgy turn for Clayton, a Disney star with a recurring role on ABC Family's The Fosters.

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DeGarmo, who will play the role of Tinker Bell, rose to fame on American Idol, placing second at 16 years old. She made her Broadway debut at 18, playing the role of Penny Pingleton in Hairspray. She has since played many such roles, including 9 to 5, where Dolly Parton handpicked her for the role of Doralee. DeGarmo, a Nashville resident, recently starred in Studio Tenn Theatre Company’s production of Grease with her husband, Ace Young.

Peter Pan and Tinker Bell – A Pirate’s Christmas will also star So You Think You Can Dance alum Clarice Ordaz as Tiger Lily, and Ben Giroux, star of Nickelodeon’s Henry Danger as Smee. Both Ordaz and Giroux have worked on numerous productions for Lythgoe Family Panto.

Local actors Jackson Nolan, a sixth-grade student at Grassland Middle School from Franklin, and Andrew Hansen, a seventhgrade home school student from Murfreesboro, will play the role of John in the production. The role of Michael will be played by Alan Harrisohn Foeder, a sixth grader at Page Middle School from Franklin, and Lucas Shane, a resident of Hermitage who attends Providence Academy in Johnson City.

Tickets are on sale now at TPAC.org, by phone at 615-7824040, and at the TPAC Box Office.

Single tickets start at $35, or a four-pack of tickets can be purchased for $99.

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2018

GREEN PEA WEST 4105 Charlotte Ave 615-292-8648

5/5/16 11:30 AM

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF INCLUSIVE EXCELLENCE Not just a networking organization.

Advocacy for members is our top priority!

5 NEW LGBTBE CERTIFICATIONS / 20 TOTAL LGBTBE CERTIFICATIONS 33% INCREASE IN CERTIFICATIONS $2500 WELLS FARGO GRANT FOR LGBT BUSINESS CERTIFICATION

$25,000 GRANT TO ATTRACT LGBT CERTIFIED BUSINESSES TO BE A METRO NASHVILLE SUPPLIER

NEW CEO WHO COMES WITH 4 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WITH THE CHAMBER.

OUT & ABOUT NASHVILLE AWARDS - BEST SOCIAL ORGANIZATION

DEVELOPMENT SCHOLARSHIPS AWARDED TO LGBT-OWNED BUSINESSES FOUR POWER LUNCHES 20TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION IN JUNE WITH COMMEMORATIVE VIDEO

380 MEMBERS 17% INCREASE IN MEMBERSHIP

ADVOCACY AT METRO AND STATE LEVELS Discriminatory legislation beaten back and positive policy changes made.

Not yet a member? Next year would be better with you! Membership application and 2018 committee volunteer information at nashvillelgbtchamber.org

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AND THE WINNER IS…

READERS’ 2018 FAVES & RAVES REVEALED Valentine—who has been a professional singer—is known to take a few numbers.

Head to Lipstick and join the show!

From the tourist draws of Broadway to the dive bars that dot our neighborhoods, there are now any number of LGBT friendly options for enjoying Nashville’s nightlife. If you’re looking for the best LGBT establishments in town, your options are more limited but still delightful.

PLACE TO DANCE PLAY Dance Bar Year after year, O&AN readers continue to vote Play Dance Bar as the best place to dance in Nashville, and there’s a reason, the venue has a great bar staff, top notch drag entertainers, and a group of DJs and VJs that know exactly what the crowd wants.

BARTENDER Maggie Prater (Lipstick) For fourteen years, Maggie Prater has been a fixture of one of Nashville’s favorite LGBT bars—The Lipstick Lounge.

She says working there has instilled in her the philosophy that “any good bar is one where you can walk in and be who you are.” So head on down and let her make you a drink.

DJ Jane Dupree DJ Jane Dupree is a local favorite and is always one of our strongest contenders in this competitive category. This year, she took top honors. If you aren’t familiar with her work, find her next show and see why she’s Nashville’s favorite!

KARAOKE Lipstick Lounge Lipstick Lounge’s karaoke nights are legendary. The drink specials are plentiful, the crowd is friendly, and bar owner Jonda

DRAG QUEEN Vanity This year’s favorite Drag Queen is no surprise—Vanity became one of PLAY Dance Bar’s fan favorites, even before she was a Playmate!

PLAY Dance Bar

DRAG KING Chase Sky Chase Sky has definitely impressed our readers with costumes and drag performances: drag kings don’t always get their share of the attention, but Chase Sky has a devoted group of fans!

HAPPY HOUR Tribe Year in and year out, Tribe remains our favorite happy hour. This year, Tribe remains the place to go for drink specials—and especially drink specials and Show Tunes!

OVERALL LGBT BAR Lipstick Lounge With its a homey atmosphere, fantastic food, beloved bar staff, and karaoke and theme nights, Lipstick has again been voted our overall Fave LGBT bar!

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DECEMBER 2018

VANITY LGBT FRIENDLIEST Beyond the Edge For a second year in a row, Beyond the Edge has been voted one of Nashville’s favorite LGBT-friendly places to hang out.

Lipstick Lounge

NIGHTLIFE

Nashville’s food landscape is everchanging, with hip new restaurants opening every day, or so it seems. Some of those are flashes in the frying pan, and others sustain a loyal following. This year, though, our readers definitely showed their love to some perennial faves!

CHEF & OVERALL RESTAURANT Arnold Myint & Suzy Wong’s House of Yum! Local gay chef Arnold Myint again takes top honors as our readers’ favorite local chef.

Locally, Myint is the force behind a number of favorite restaurants. His alter ego, Suzy Wong, is also the inspiration behind Suzy Wong’s House of Yum, which is an integral part of the Church Street gayborhood.

BURGER The Pharmacy The Pharmacy Burger Parlor & Beer Garden offers some of Nashville’s best options for burgers. And did we mention beer garden?

COFFEE Frothy Monkey Frothy Monkey—a hot local beverage chain—has a drink menu that will make any enthusiast happy, with coffees on tap and rotating seasonal beverages. Frothy Monkey also serves fantastic food and offers professional catering services.

PIZZA Slim & Husky Slim & Husky has topped LGBT Nashville’s list of best

FROTHY MONKEY

pizzerias for a second year in a row. Slim & Husky's is a casual neighborhood “Pizza Beeria” providing a gourmet build-your-own pizza experience, featuring locally sourced cheeses, meats and vegetables. And you can wash it all down with Nashville's best local brews.

BREAKFAST Nashville Biscuit House The Nashville Biscuit House is an oldfashioned, southern-style joint that hits the spot. They offer breakfast all day, as well as terrific lunch specials every day of the week!

BRUNCH Homegrown Tap Room Why did readers choose Homegrown Tap Room as their favorite place for brunch?

Perhaps it’s the awesome craft beer, and the fresh menu full of items made in-house from local ingredients… Check them out!

DESSERT Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams Jeni’s is a favorite local brand with a simple recipe for success: “ice creams built from the ground up with superlative ingredients.”

Chances are, if you like ice cream, you’ve already been, but, if you haven’t, go. You’ll thank us later.

FINE DINING Margot Margot McCormack, who was featured on the cover of O&AN in 2013, has retaken her crown as the purveyor of Nashville’s Best Fine Dining. Margot Café & Bar has been a fixture of Nashville fine dining for twenty years now, with its innovative, daily-changing menus and i n t i m a t e atmosphere.

PATIO Peckers Nashville’s newest gay bar, Peckers, also boasts o u r readers new favorite patio. The space runs the full length of the bar and provides an outdoor escape whenever you need it!

VEGETARIAN The Wild Cow Our readers’ favorite place to spare the animals, again. is The Wild Cow. This restaurant serves “vegan, vegetarian and gluten free

ARNOLD MYINT

SLIM & HUSK’S W/ MEGAN BARRY

DINING

goodness in a casual environment in the heart of East Nashville!” They also offer organic hard cider, high alcohol beers and wine.

SUSHI Eastern Peak For the second year in a row, O&AN readers have chosen Eastern Peak as their favorite place for sushi. This Thai restaurant serves up fresh, beautiful plates of sushi, and it’s a friendly spot to bring friends and family who don’t eat sushi. There’s something on the menu for almost everyone!

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HEALTH SERVICES East Nashville Family Medicine East Nashville Family Medicine is your one-stop shop for all your healthcare needs, from a basic physical or urgent care to x-ray and full lab services.

LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD Looking and feeling your best is an art form, and the LGBT community most definitely has distinct ideas about how to best achieve this goal. Our readers know what it takes to carefully construct a look for the world. And here are their recommendations for looking and feeling your best—including where to doll up your best four-legged friend!

NEW CLOTHES H&M H&M retakes the top spot this year.

With two local location—one in Opry Mills and the other in Cool Springs—H&M offers fashionable clothes for men, women, and children for relatively affordable prices.

USED CLOTHES The Hip Zipper Located in the heart of East Nashville, Tennessee, The Hip Zipper is Nashville's oldest "All-Vintage" clothing shop. Owner Trisha Brantley, a Texas native, has been providing Nashvillians, Australians, and everyone in between the ability to dress in reasonably priced vintage threads since 1999.

HAIR STYLIST Joshua David (Element) This year’s favorite hair stylist, Joshua David, with Element Salon, is well known in the LGBT community. By many he’s known almost as well for his skill styling wigs and queens! If you are looking for a regular stylist, give Joshua a ring!

TATTOO Black 13 Black 13 is truly a Nashville institution.

While the shop has just won our poll for a second year in a row, it topped the Scene’s Best of Nashville poll for nearly a decade!

MASSAGE THERAPIST Joany Johnson This year’s fave massage therapist— locally trained at Mind Body Institute in Nashville—works at Nashville Center for Alternative Therapy. For more information about her services, or the Center, visit www. mynashvillecenter.com.

VETERINARY SERVICES Nashville Veterinary Specialists Nashville Veterinary Specialists’ mission is “to honor the human-animal bond in all we do by working to improve the care of our patients, the experiences of our clients, and

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the health of our team.” They provide 24-hour emergency care for our fur-babies, and for that we are grateful.

GYM YMCA Downtown This year the YMCA took back the top spot, thanks to its excellent facilities (including a rooftop pool), prime location, and, in all likelihood, the prevalence of gym eye-candy. Oh, and the classes and programs, from spin to nutrition education, are top notch!

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES With the new rise in anti-LGBT sentiment, people often wonder whom they can trust.

So it’s important to celebrate our favorite providers of business and professional services, so that other people know the highcaliber people and institutions they can turn to when necessary.

LAWYER Sunny Eaton Besides practicing law, this year’s fave, Sunny Eaton is a superwoman. If you wonder what we mean by that, check out her O&AN contributions about her two year trek through Central America as a Vagabroad!

DENTAL SERVICES East Side Smiles One of the first things people notice about a person is her or his smile. East Side Smiles has again been chosen by our readers as the place they trust the most with their smiles.

DECEMBER 2018

SUNNY EATON

REAL ESTATE AGENT Melissa Hawley (Keller Williams) A home or property is likely among the largest purchases most of us will ever make. LGBT Nashville’s favorite real estate agent this year was Melissa Hawley of Keller Williams.

CAR DEALERSHIP Crest Honda Our readers overwhelmingly chose the team at Crest as the best place for LGBT people to buy a car in Nashville!

BANK US Bank US Bank’s philosophy is “Our relationships are built on trust that we build every day through every interaction. Our employees are empowered to do the right thing to ensure they share our customers’ vision for success.” Our readers feel US Bank is doing something right!

PHARMACY Nashville Pharmacy Services Nashville Pharmacy offers a full line of prescription and over-the-counter drugs in a friendly hometown setting.

PERSONAL TRAINER Annie Mosher (Hermitage Fitness) Annie Mosher is a certified personal trainer and orthopedic specialist, who has been working out of Hermitage Fitness for some time now. And O&AN readers have voted her Nashville’s favorite!

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THE FAMILY HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR

“A dazzling holiday spectacle … for both young and old.”

- The Tennessean

NOW – DEC. 28, 2018 at the GRAND OLE OPRY® HOUSE Cirque Dreams Holidaze returns bigger and better with its popular and electrifying stage spectacular at the Grand Ole Opry House. Broadway Director Neil Goldberg has assembled the world’s most unique cast of incomparable cirque artists, singers, dancers and theatrical talent exclusive to Nashville’s 2018 return engagement. This critically acclaimed BROADWAY MUSICAL, NEW CIRQUE ADVENTURE and FAMILY SHOW is the perfect holiday gift wrapped in one.

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COMMUNITY In Nashville’s diverse and active LGBT community, there is such a diverse and powerful slate of community organizations and representatives reminding us how much we have to be proud of, and how much we have the opportunity to do.

NON-PROFIT Nashville CARES Nashville CARES has recently upgraded its mission to ending the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Middle Tennessee. It’s team of professionals and dedicated volunteers bring us daily closer to achieving that goal!

SOCIAL GROUP Nashville LGBT Chamber The Chamber’s new CEO, Joe Woolley (featured on this month’s cover) will definitely remind you that the Chamber is MORE than just a social group, offering education and services throughout the year to its members. But when it comes to business, the social element can’t be discounted, and with events like TASTE, the Chamber sets the social bar very high.

COMMUNITY EVENT Nashville Pride Every year, this volunteer driven organization double’s down on its commitment to showing the rest of Nashville how much Pride the LGBT community has in this city.

Great job, everyone!

LGBT SPORTS HotMess League HotMess Kickball League, which was featured on the cover of O&AN in July 2014,

has hundreds of members, making it one of the largest of LGBT Nashville’s social groups, and definitely our largest local LGBT sporting league.

LOCAL POLITICIAN Megan Barry For the third year in a row, our readers chose Megan Barry, proving again that our community loves Megan and that our affections aren’t fickle. Some segments of Nashville may have turned their back on her, but not our readers!

MUSICIAN Shelly Fairchild A staple in the Nashville music community, Fairchild hit the scene to much acclaim with her debut album Ride. She has toured with some of the biggest names including Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban and Tim McGraw, and our readers love her!

ACTOR Bradley Moore This year’s favorite artist/actor is Bradley Moore, who is very well known in Nashville theatre. He Bradley is currently artistic director at Music City Theatre Company.

OUTSTANDING CITIZEN Jonda Valentine One of the proprietors of The Lipstick Lounge, Jonda Valentine got her start in the music industry, but in LGBT Nashville, she’s known for her fabulous bar, her generous spirit for the community, and her kindness to her employees. Jonda is truly one of our community’s outstanding citizens!

LGBT-OWNED BUSINESS Peckers It’s not just our newest gay bar—this year it’s also our favorite LGBT-owned business! In Nashville, it seems, our readers sure do love Peckers!

of the best to care for them, and this year our readers chose their favorite caregivers, the folks at Peace Love & Paws, as their fave new LGBT-owned business.

PLACES What are our readers’ favorite places to go relax, see a show, catch a movie, or find a good book? This year, as in the past, it seems that we prefer our old favorites!

LIVE MUSIC VENUE Ryman Auditorium When it comes to music venues, none in Nashville have the history, the ambience, or the attraction of The Ryman Auditorium, it seems, as the “Mother Church of Country Music” again tops our readers’ poll.

PLACE TO TAKE VISITORS The Parthenon Centennial Park is a fave for locals, who can often be found playing there on sunny days, from frisbee and soccer to Pokémon Go! And at the center of it all is that replica of the Parthenon that houses an art museum and the goddess Athena. Unlike the original, though, ours isn’t ruined!

SPIRITUAL PLACE Holy Trinity Community Church For a third year in a row, this place of worship has been chosen by our readers. Holy Trinity Community Church is one of Nashville’s most LGBT-affirming houses of worship—a role they’ve worn publicly for years.

NEW LGBT-OWNED BUSINESS Peace Love & Paws We love our pets, so we want the best

BOOKSTORE McKay Used Books Tennessee’s first McKay location opened in Knoxville in 1985, and then arrived in Nashville in 2007. Now it’s hard to imagine how we ever lived without its bargain basement prices on everything from CDs and DVDs to comic books and great literature.

JONDA VALENTINE

CHIROPRACTOR Sheila Meadows Sheila Gail Meadows is a Chiropractic specialist in Nashville. She graduated from National College Of Chiropractic and has over 23 years of diverse experience.

NASHVILLE CARES

BRADLEY MOORE

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Mansion is the largest house museum in Tennessee and one of a few whose history revolves around the life of a woman: Adelicia Acklen.

HOTEL OMNI Nashville The Omni Nashville Hotel is created specifically to be an authentic expression of the city's vibrant music culture. This downtown Nashville hotel is one-of-a-kind—down to its expansion of the Country Music Hall of Fame® and Museum on three levels!

WEDDING SERVICES After years of missing out on all the LGBT marriage revenue, local service providers have now been reaping the rewards of a more open and just society for a few years, but our favorites are, for the most part, tried-and-true allies who supported our community, or were part of it, even before marriage equality.

WEDDING VENUE Belmont Mansion This year, Belmont Mansion upset perennial fave, Cheekwood. Belmont

REHEARSAL DINNER Bricktops With locations throughout the South— and two in Nashville—Bricktops specializes in classic American cuisine. Their restaurants offer the perfect ambience for a rehearsal dinner—or an anniversary date night!

RON SANFORD

CATERER Monell’s Monell’s is famous for its family-style authentic southern dining experience. Let them bring that flair to your event, as well, and make everyone feel right at home!

WEDDING FLORIST Phillipe Chadwick Phillipe Chadwick is a wedding florist of exceptional caliber, having worked as a horticulturist at Cheekwood Botanical Gardens where his design acumen helped shape the direction of the gardens.

WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY Eric Dulberg This year’s fave photographer, Eric Dulberg, is a real inspiration—his photography has been part of his path back from the brink, as detailed in O&AN’s February 2018 profile. His photography is artistic and captures the true essence of your event.

ERIC DULBERG

MOVIE THEATRE Belcourt The Belcourt is classic theater, capable of hosting stage shows and big screen features.

This Nashville institution brings the best independent films to Nashville, while serving up classic movies (and cocktails from the bar) in various genres and hosting cultural events, such as Nashville’s Jewish Film Festival.

WEDDING COORDINATOR Ron Sanford Ron Sanford is a character, and knows how to be an individual—and this allows him to help couples design and implement the perfect event for their special days. So if you’re looking for someone to help you organize your next soiree, he’s your man according to our readers.

beautiful, delicious and made with a whole lot of passion, care and laughter.

PLACE TO GET A WEDDING CAKE Nashville Sweets Our readers again chose Nashville Sweets as their favorite place to get a wedding cake.

Founders Brittany Pulley and Danielle Worley “believe every sweet can be art and should be

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DECEMBER 2018

Shake it up.

Stir it up.

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Be mellow. Be responsible.

NASHVILLE’S NUTCRACKER RETURNS TO TPAC Nashville Ballet Reprises Holiday Favorite STAFF

PHOTOS: KARYN PHOTOGRAPHY

Presented by Nashville Ballet, Nashville’s Nutcracker returns to TPAC’s Jackson Hall from December 1–23, 2018, and as always it is sure to delight audiences both young and young-at-heart.

Nashville Ballet premiered Nashville’s Nutcracker in 2008 with a unique concept, weaving the city’s glittering past with the awe-inspiring wonder of the classic tale. Now in its 11th season on stage, Nashville’s Nutcracker has cemented itself in the hearts of numerous patrons and young artists as a treasured holiday tradition.

Clara’s enchanted journey begins at the 1897 Centennial Exposition in Nashville. Along with her Uncle Drosselmeyer, Clara meets a colorful cast of characters from faraway lands. When she receives a magical wooden Nutcracker from Drosselmeyer on Christmas Eve, the toy comes to life to lead her on an unforgettable adventure. Clara encounters a captivating collection of fascinating friends including the delightful characters she met at the Exposition. When the curtain closes on Clara asleep on her couch, the audience is left to decide if it was real or not.

The show is technically difficult to pull off. For instance, Jon Upleger, one of the company’s artists, said, “I’m really enjoying doing Drosselmeyer.

You have this character that’s really fairly integral throughout the whole ballet. Drosselmeyer can be sort of a difficult role because you have to do a lot of magic tricks, and I’m not necessarily the smoothest when it comes to a slight of hand, so that’s taken a lot of practice over the past few years.”

“Nashville’s Nutcracker was designed to be seen over and over again because you find

little details in it each time that make it exciting and fresh,” Nashville Ballet’s Artistic Director Paul Vasterling said. “The story itself is magical as it is, but the addition of Nashville’s iconic characters and landmarks into the production guarantee that you’ll discover something new every year.”

“It really lends itself to the idea of tradition in that sense,” he added, “no matter how many times you’ve seen it, it always creates this nostalgic sense of wonder that just feels inherent to this time of year.”

Vasterling’s original concept and choreography are complemented by an entirely local production. Along with 53 members of Nashville Ballet’s professional company and second company, Nashville’s Nutcracker includes a youth cast of a record-breaking 298 young dancers from School of Nashville Ballet and the community at large, accompanied by 60 musicians from the Nashville Symphony.

“Nashville’s Nutcracker is an incredible way to get the whole family in the spirit of the holidays,” said Nashville Ballet’s director of artistic operations, Sharyn Mahoney. “We have almost 300 children in our youth cast, so we really focus on making this an enjoyable experience for cast members, their parents and other relatives. For many families this production has become one of their most beloved holiday traditions, and there’s really nothing like watching a child’s face light up when they watch Sugar Plum for the first time.”

Tickets start at $40 and can be purchased in person at the TPAC box office in downtown Nashville, by phone at (615) 782-4040 or at www. nashvilleballet.com. A complete performance schedule and more information can be found at www.nashvilleballet.com/nashvilles-nutcracker.

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DECEMBER 2018

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AN

ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME

the only way is through

“When you’re falling in a forest, and there’s nobody around- do you ever really crash or even make a sound? On the outside always looking in, will I ever be more than I’ve always been?” -Dear Evan Hanson

DYLAN DOUGHTY

For as long as I can remember, my life has been in a constant war between dualities: the side of me that needs security, comfort, and structure and the other side, the one that has an insatiable thirst for experiencing the unknown and the possibility of lifealtering adventure. It’s as if there’s an invisible scoreboard in my soul, tallying each side’s wins and losses, but never actually reaching a definitive conclusion.

A couple of consecutive failed relationships reflected these dualities: one was with a man that offered comfort, but

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ironically brought out my own very deep insecurities, and the next was with someone who enticed me with his mystery, only to manipulate those insecurities to maintain the mystery he never intended for me to uncover. Both relationships, I realize now, were attempts at filling a void inside my heart that wasn’t meant to be filled by anyone but myself.

Any attempt at earning love is always attempted in vain, and any fight to feel love is always fought in vain. Those are two life lessons I will spend the rest of my life thanking whatever gods may be for making me understand early and painstaking thoroughly.

The morning I began the Appalachian Trail was a morning very much like any other—meaning that I woke up and journaled about my excitement, only to have that excitement slowly turn into nervousness and eventually morph into anxiety-ridden terror as the day progressed.

This is essentially the story of my life.

As the shuttle driver transported me and four other thru-hike hopefuls the half-hour to the starting point in Georgia, Amicalola Falls, he said exactly one sentence: “I’m available if y’all need me to come back and pick you up: most of my passengers only make it one day.”

F###ing great pep talk, man.

Naturally I assumed he was speaking directly and only to me. Sitting in a van with several “outdoor bros,”looking like Patagonia-sponsored Army rangers—you know the type—I slowly grabbed one of the shuttle driver’s business cards, just in

DECEMBER 2018

case. I have this incredible talent for always assuming and preparing for the worstcase scenario and, also, for betting against myself. I’m the type that always takes the jump but has also already factored in the high-likelihood of everything going wrong after I do.

When I got to the Falls, the park ranger took one look at me and immediately said he would like to help me with a pack shakedown. For those who don’t know, that means I brought way more shit than I needed, and he was probably internally laughing at my finishing odds.

After throwing away about 6 pounds of items from my pack that I still think would have been worth the weight (just saying...still bitter), I walked through the infamous arches and began my journey.

The trail begins with 604 stairs to the top of Amicalola Falls, the tallest cascading waterfall in the South (of course). Within approximately 20 minutes I was already wondering what fresh hell I had gotten myself into—a foreshadowing, I now understand, of the journey to come. I slowly but surely trudged the 8.8 miles to Springer Mountain Shelter, where I would spend my first night and meet a few people I hiked the next 200 miles with.

I could simply say that we all just decided to stick together—friendship found me, etc.

While that is true, the more honest truth is that I needed these people to teach me how survive as a thru-hiker. I think I instantly knew that, after that first day.

So we three stuck together: the guy was one of those “outdoor bro” types I spoke about earlier and the other was one of the most badass females I’ve ever met. Both seemed to know everything about survival and backpacking. And then there was me, the lone gay boy who had never done anything like this before.

Needless to say, I needed them far more than they needed me.

We formed what is known in Trail Terms (there’s a lot) as a “tramily,” a Trail Family. These naturally form over the course of a thru-hike for many reasons. Survival, loneliness, love, grief, boredom...you name it. We all go out there for different reasons, but humans are social creatures; we find connections even in the most remote circumstances.

We adapt in order to survive.

We would hike alone, but meet up at a pre-determined destination on trail for camp at night. I started out doing 8-10 miles a day, slowly increasing my daily mileage as my body adjusted and my mind started seeing this as a challenge to overcome.

One of the things they don’t tell you before beginning a thruhike is how many people look at this as a competition or a race. I’m not really sure why, but they do. Somewhere in America right now, there’s a guy who finished the entire trail in 45 days. That’s an average of over 48 miles per day, with no days off.

I mean, hats off to you, sir... but why though?

It’s very difficult not to fall into this trap of constantly comparing yourself to everyone else out there. There are a couple

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sections of the trail where I fell into that mentality, and, because of it, I remember very little about what I saw on those days.

But the trail is a microcosm of society at large. Even as we are completely removed from civilization, the “keeping up with the Jones’” mentality is still very real, especially in the beginning.

I lost count of how many introductory conversations I had with fellow thru-hikers that quickly fell into the following sorts of conversations: gear brands, pack weight, or hiking pace, or, as I like to call it, the trifecta of comparison on the Appalachian Trail. But, as the saying goes, comparison is the biggest thief of joy. And I was out there to find my joy. Therefore, I also lost count of how many times I had to say “F### off, Satan... I’m out here for only me,” so to speak, and march my joy-deprived a## on down the trail.

Those first couple hundred miles were nothing short of every worst-case scenario I planned out in my mind. The terrain was more difficult than I thought possible. I was in worse shape than I realized. I was clumsy and extremely injury prone. It was really fucking hard, and I didn’t know how I would succeed or how much I could handle.

That’s also precisely what pushed me forward. Within the first couple hundred miles, every self-limiting thought came erupting to the surface—thoughts that I had pushed down for a very long time, or listened to most of the time. Insecurities that told me that I wasn’t good enough, thoughts of inadequacy, and doubts of my abilities—they all came up, because those thoughts aren’t limited in scope simply to relationships or other areas. They are omnipresent in life.

I knew that in order for me to finish this thing, I had to face each and every one of

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DECEMBER 2018

those challenges and thoughts and overcome them. I knew that these self-limiting beliefs would stop me.

The only way is through, as they say. So I marched my little a## “thru”.

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Barbara Sanders, LCSW / John Waide,PhD,LCSW (Individual & Couples Therapy) 2016- 21St Ave South | 615-414-2553 2323- 21st Ave South, Ste .401 | 615-400-5911 Nashville, TN 37212 dignitytherapynashville.com

Nashville Humane Association 213 Oceola Avenue | Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-1010 | nashvillehumane.org

Look East (Optometrist) 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 | 615-928-2281 | lookeastnashville.com Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Bradley Bullock, MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 | coolspringsinternalmedicine.com Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza 615-371-1210 Skyline Medical 615-724-0066 | npspharmcay.com SPIRITUALITY Holy Trinity Community Church 6727 Charlotte Pike Nashville TN 37209 | 615-352-3838 | htccnashville.com FORMING ARTS Nashville Symphony Schermerhorn Symphony Center One Symphony Place Nashville, TN 37201 615-687-6400 | nashvillesymphony.org

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Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce P.O. Box 330971 | Nashville, TN 37203 615-507-5185 | nashvillelgbtchamber.org PROFESSIONAL SERVICES Bart Durham Injury Law Office 404 James Robertson Parkway Nashville, TN 37219 615-338-6177 | bartdurham.com John Cannon Studios 1108-C Woodland Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-496-1259 | johncannonart.com PET SERVICES Wags & Whiskers Pet Supplies & Dog Wash 1008 Forrest Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-228-9249 | wagsandwiskersnashville.com

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OVER

the RAINBOW

FR EEDOM AWAI T S JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

Eight lights, eight nights. The Jewish holiday of Hanukkah symbolizes the triumph of light over darkness. The candle-lit menorah is a symbol of freedom—freedom from oppression, freedom of worship, freedom to be ourselves. It is a celebration of freedom for all who desire it. You do not have to be Jewish to participate in our holiday. Everyone deserves to be free…

Everyone.

Family is what you make it. Soulmate and I do not fit easily into this large family of sisters and brothers who share a mutual blessing, but we’re trying. I write from the perspective of someone who has never truly experienced the full price that living your truth may impose upon the majority of our tribe.

But I do know what it is like to be Jewish and a little lonely at Christmas. What does it feel like? Like being openly queer in the American South. You are very much in the minority and there is no escaping that fact.

Adapt, persevere, and just move forward as best you can. Southern culture needs us: they just haven’t figured that out yet.

It has never been easy to be “one of us.” That is why Goddess blesses only a certain few with the precious gift each one of us shares.

What is it like to be Queer? It’s kind of like being Jewish. Shalom, friends…

The past two years of renewed darkness upon our tribe has had at least one beneficial effect. In an age of 24/7 social media, self-constructed firewalls, and equally self-constructed bubbles, the younger members of our community (especially the ones who do not remember the days before the Internet) are discovering the true meaning of “we” in regards to the LGBTQ+ community. We truly are sisters and brothers in the times we all presently live in, especially during the holidays.

Those who have recently come out are likely discovering that their previous

relationships with kith and kin may have changed since they began living their truths openly. Darkness is what you make of it too. There are very few scarier things in life than when the people you thought you knew turn out to be just as human and as afraid as you once were.

I know more than a few of this younger set, and I have told them that they are part of my family now. All I ask is that they do the same when they hit my age and to keep an eye out for their queer elders. When all else fails, we have each other.

That’s the golden rule...leave no one behind. It is a special responsibility entrusted to a special people from day one. Jews have a saying for this: “Dor L’Dor” (Generation to Generation). It is how we survive and thrive in a world that often does not seem to want us.

The price of being a people set apart is often loneliness.

The price of being a people set apart is often loneliness. More than a few of us are trapped inside prisons of someone’s design—often ones of our own—and I admit to being in this spot too. I plan to fight the darkness that occasionally engulfs me by reaching out to some of my Queer family more freely and admitting that I need their company, because I am tired of trying to navigate this transition nearly alone.

We truly are stronger together, and I will try to let my guard down just enough to let someone else who understands what it is like to be just a wee bit different in this heterosexist world surrounding all of us try to be a real friend to me. I am terrible at getting to know people for a host of reasons, but this must change, and the upcoming holiday season will be a good time to start.

We are slowly transitioning from a tribe of survivors into something else. I was

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local trans woman.

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

DECEMBER 2018

ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

Open your gates...

pleasantly amused recently that one of my twenty-something queer friends did not understand why I referred to another one of our kind as “family.” She had never heard of that, so I explained. It was a code word back in the day. This must change too. It must become something far more real as the survivors of the AIDS generation grow older and our younger siblings grow bolder.

What does it mean to be queer? It means sticking up for each other when times get tough, reaching out when you need support, and making an effort to be true mensch (good person) when someone is in need. It means trying hard to be an extended family, and it’s very much like being Jewish.

Be free.

We light eight lights over eight nights…

To remind us that miracles happen no matter the odds…

To remember our freedom was fought for and must always be cherished…

For allies who embrace a people they may never fully understand…

For friends and soulmates who were just as scared as we were…

For families of choice, and for unrequested blessings.

Happy Hanukkah.

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