O&AN | February 2018

MEET OUR NOMINEES AND OUR READERS’ CHOICE

Tennessee Ranks Poorly for Legislation on LGBT Issues Three LGBT Themed Films to Run at the Belcourt

FEBRUARY 2018 / VOLUME 17 / ISSUE 2 FIRST ISSUE FREE - ADD’L COPIES 50¢ EACH

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Publisher: Jerry Jones jjones@outandaboutnashville.com

Managing Print Editor: James Grady jgrady@outandaboutnashville.com

Managing Digital Editor: Joseph Brant jbrant@outandaboutnashville.com

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CONTRIBUTORS

Writers: Craig Ammon, Julie Chase, Sunny Eaton, James Grady, Chris Sanders Photographers: Emily April Allen, Cody Stallings Cover Photograph: Cody Stallings National Advertising Representative: Motivate Media | 858-272-9023 Rivendell Media | 212-242-6863 | 1248 Route 22 West | Mountainside, NJ 07092

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Out & About Nashville strives to be a credible community news organization by engaging and educating our readers. All content of Out & About Nashville is copyrighted 2017 by Out & About Nashville, Inc. and is protected by federal copyright law and shall not be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. All photography is licensed stock imagery or has been supplied unless otherwise credited to a photographer and may not be reproduced without permission. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and cartoonists published herein is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or pictorial representations does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of the person or persons. Out & About Nashville accepts unsolicited material but cannot take responsibility for its return. The editor reserves the right to accept, reject or edit submissions. All rights revert to authors upon publication. The editorial positions of Out & About Nashville are expressed in editorials and in the editor’s notes as determined by the editor. Other opinions are those of writers and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Out & About Nashville or its staff. Letters to the editor are encouraged but may be edited for clarity and length. There is no guarantee that letters will be published. Out & About Nashville only accepts adult advertising within set guidelines and on a case-by-case basis.

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FEBRUARY 2018

OUT & ABOUT NASHVILLE LAUNCHES IOS APP REACHING NASHVILLE READERS WHERE THEY ARE

Where are people reading the news, catching up on local goings on, and researching upcoming events? Where do LGBT consumers go to find information on local businesses and services for our community? Increasingly, we are all doing these things on our phones, which give us more immediate access to information than we’ve ever had before.

While our readers have long been able to access O&AN on their phone’s web browsers, we wanted to meet our community where they are—and so a dedicated O&AN app just made sense.

And given that over 80% of our readers utilize IOS devices, the choice was simple.

“We have worked for two years on the conception, design and the development of the app,” said O&AN publisher Jerry Jones.

“We wanted something that was simple to use, and that would also showcase our great reporting as well as our partnership with NewChannel 5 and our show Out & About Today.”

Now, after years of planning and months in development, the app is ready for download from the App Store, free of charge! So what does the new app bring to your iPhone experience?

“There are multiple benefits to the new app,” explained Joseph Brant, O&AN’s managing digital editor. “For one, the entire website experience translates onto the app, thanks to the hard work of Ryan Huber, our former web developer who worked hard on the back-end system of our website. So everything from today’s newest articles to the entire print edition is just a ‘finger tap’ away.”

“As managing print editor,” James Grady said, “this is of course one of the things that excites me most about the new app. While the magazine is fairly easy to find in Nashville, the app will make the full print edition—as well as digital story pages of course—available to our readers outside the Nashville area. It also makes our print edition available to those in Nashville who either can’t access the magazine, due to mobility issues or because, for personal reasons, they might not be comfortable picking up a print copy.”

“With the app, you can enable push notifications,” Brant added, “and we’ll keep you up to speed regarding the goings on—social and political—within the community. Think of it: when you’re wondering what’s going on TONIGHT in town, or if you want to keep up to speed on the state legislature, look no further.

We’ll bring the news to you!”

O&AN recently rolled out its Gay Guide, and the seamless integration of that feature into the app is an exciting development.

You can click on a business category and see the entries mapped, as well as map your route to any business you choose.

“We’re excited that our readers and viewers will be able to find all of our content in one nice little package,” Jones said. “We are equally excited about our new Gay Guide and the ability to find businesses and services. The gay guide is a great directory and map, and it’s a wonderful new resource for the community.”

So visit the App Store today and download your O&AN Magazine app.

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02.18

CONTENTS 8

LGBT CHAMBER MEMBER PROFILE: MEDICOPY

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HRC: TENNESSEE LACKS BASIC PROTECTION & DISCRIMINATES

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NASHVILLE’S MOST ELIGIBLE: MEET OUR NOMINEES

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FINDING OUR WILD, FINDING OURSELVES - PART 2: BELIZE

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GROUP SEEKS TO SHOWCASE ARTISTS UNDER THE RNBW

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LGBT FILMS COME TO THE BELCOURT

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FEBRUARY 2018

LOST BOYS-AND GIRLS-OF NASHVILLE, REJOICE AVANT GARDE PRESENTS JAMES GRADY

I know none of our readers out there have ever been likened to Lost Boys, enjoying a perpetual youth and refusing to truly embrace the curse of adulthood! Who am I kidding? But seriously, too often that comparison is meant to be scolding: grow up! This year, Nashville CARES invites you to embrace your inner Peter Pan, round up your lost boys and girls, and proudly announce, for one night, “I don’t want to grow up!”

That’s right, Nashville CARES’ perennially popular fundraiser, Avant Garde is back. 2015’s Mad Hatter’s Ball and 2016’s Speakeasy were parties to talk about for weeks, and this year the event is taking us to Neverland!

So, as the event’s site says, “Get ready to think lovely happy thoughts! This year we are taking you to the second star to the right and straight on until morning to a magical place, Neverland. Join us as we dance the night away in Mermaid’s Lagoon, pig out in the Lost Boys’ Hangout, and truly live like a pirate with Captain Hook. All of this and so much more.”

“Avant Garde is a one-of-a-kind gala with a different theme each year. We are excited to announce this year’s theme: Neverland!” said CARES Associate Director of Development, Alyson Woods. “The Avant Garde event has served as a unique and highly anticipated benefit for

Nashville CARES where attendees dress up in the theme of the event.

We’re hoping to see lots of pirates, lost boys and fairies (wink)! Our goal this year is to raise $100,000 to help Nashville CARES end the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Middle Tennessee.”

This year’s event, chaired by Matt Donahoe, Mat Brooksher, Amber English, Adam Smith, Chris Murlin, Matia Powell, and Ron Sanford, will be held at Studio 615 on February 17, from 7 p.m. til 11 p.m. The event will feature, as always, stellar entertainment, great food and fun, as well as a silent auction. General admission includes free parking and a limited open bar, while VIP admission includes a private, full open bar.

“Avant Garde has always been and will continue to evolve into one of the premiere events in Middle Tennessee supporting Nashville CARES,” said event chair Matt Donahoe. “Like advances and innovation created as a result of donor participation in CARES events for HIV/AIDS in our community, this celebration taps into our right brains and gives us all a moment to create memorable experiences with lasting impact.”

For more information on the events, or to purchase tickets, visit AvantGardeCARES.org.

Avant Garde

Purchase tickets at avantgardecares.org Feb. 17, 2018 • Studio 615 • 7pm-11pm A production of

21 up event

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MEDICOPY

CRAIG AMMON

}

Elliott Noble-Holt started his company, MediCopy, 18 years ago in response to his frustrations working with inefficient health information exchange processes he encountered in his various roles up to that point in his career. He started the health information management company on a shoestring, with a single copy machine, $50.00 cash, and an AOL gift card!

Since then the company has grown to offer a wide range of HIM services. Their mission is “to deliver efficient and innovative service to our clients and requesting parties of protected health information, all while maintaining a transparent and trust-based culture.” MediCopy now employs a team of 90, serving 1,500 clients in 35 states.

MediCopy has been a member of the Nashville LGBT Chamber for about four years, and the company has been an active member during that time. Recently, MediCopy was one of the sponsors for TASTE, the Chamber’s largest annual fund raiser. In addition to providing sponsorship, several MediCopy employees volunteered at the event in November. MediCopy will also sponsor the “Brewing Up Business” event at their office location in February. And Elliott says he wants to continue to get more involved in the LGBT Chamber.

Elliott and his company serve as models for corporate involvement to promote diversity and inclusion, not just for those of us that identify as LGBTQ, but for all employees. As an example, MediCopy has been a part of Tennessee Thrives

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FEBRUARY 2018

Coalition for over a year.

Tennessee Thrives promotes the conviction that “In order for Tennessee businesses to compete for top talent, we believe our workplaces and communities must be diverse and welcoming for all people, regardless of race, sex, national origin, ethnicity, religion, age, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity.”

Over 400 companies doing business in Tennessee—from small, local businesses to multi-national corporations—have signed the Tennessee Thrives Pledge. To see if your company is among them, visit tennesseethrives.org/our-coalition.

Elliott has also served on the Diversity and Inclusion Advisory Board for the Entrepreneur Center (ec.co/diversity) since it launched its Diversity and Inclusion Initiative in early 2016. Elliott and other members of the advisory board provide insight, guidance, and connections that enable initiative leaders to reach their goals to “help create pathways to success for any entrepreneur in Nashville regardless of external circumstances or demographics.”

The initiative encourages participation and engagement from local non-profits, corporations, higher education institutions, community leaders and investors. It also provides Entrepreneur Center scholarships to local minority entrepreneurs each year. They have also launched a partnership with Google to launch the Code2040 program that provides funding for minority tech entrepreneurs in Nashville and a few other cities.

Elliott also said that MediCopy has already implemented HRC non-discriminatory guidelines for employers. These criteria that comprise the HRC Corporate Equality Index address hiring and retention, employee benefits, organizational LGBTQ competency, public engagement and responsible citizenship for both employers and their vendor partners. But for Elliott and his company, diversity and inclusion go well beyond official guidelines for non-discrimination.

Elliott is proud of the culture of diversity among his team at MediCopy. He said that 50% of the management team is African American and 65% identify as LGBTQ. That wasn’t intentional; it just happened organically as he went for the best and brightest to help his company grow and succeed. But he does make it a point to share those statistics with any prospective employees.

When hiring, Elliott still attends every interview, starting each conversation talking about his team’s diversity, and making it clear to those interviewees they would need to embrace that diversity if they are to succeed on the team. His goal is to protect his people and the culture that they created together.

Elliott said that type of open and honest communication is one of their core values at MediCopy. He is proud of those core values that address quality of customer service, teamwork, professional development, and service to the community.

Another core value is “embracing change and growth.” Elliott acknowledged that, “some folks hate change and are hesitant.

But at MediCopy, our team just keeps pushing forward.”

For more information about MediCopy, visit medicopy. net, and check back with the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce’s webpage and social media for more information on the February Brewing Up Business hosted by MediCopy.

The Nashville LGBT Chamber is a professional and consistent resource to find businesses who are inclusive of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and ally customers and clients.

The Chamber directory at www.nashvillelgbtchamber.org/ list will help you find The Mockingbird and other LGBTfriendly businesses and organizations.

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FEBRUARY 2018

HRC’S ANNUAL STATE EQUALITY INDEX HIGHLIGHTS TENNESSEE’S LAG

STATE LACKS BASIC PROTECTIONS, ALLOWS DISCRIMINATION

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation, the educational arm of the nation’s largest LGBTQ civil rights organization, in partnership with the Equality Federation, released its fourth annual national report assessing the status of state legislation affecting LGBTQ equality across America and placing states in one of four categories based on their pro- and anti-LGBTQ state laws. Tennessee falls into the category, “High Priority to Achieve Basic Equality.”

This year’s SEI details the onslaught of more than 125 anti-LGBTQ laws introduced across 30 states during the 2017 state legislative season, including legislative proposals to grant sweeping licenses to discriminate, undercut marriage equality, and target the transgender community—including transgender children.

The report came in January as more than 40 state legislatures reconvened. A new 2018 legislative preview report from HRC also found that state legislators, under relentless pressure from opponents of equality, are expected to wage attacks on transgender people—particularly in the critical areas of health care and access to appropriate restrooms.

Thanks to Representative Gerald McCormick, a Republican from Chattanooga, Tennessee was among the first to revisit bathroom bills, for instance. HB1488 would require the Tennessee Attorney General to defend state officials or agencies who enforced measures requiring students to use the bathroom’s corresponding with their sex at birth. The bill specifically commits the state to assisting in the defense of local schools or their employees who adopt policies “designed to protect the privacy of students from exposure to others of the opposite biological sex.”

The report points to a few encouraging signs for LGBTQ youth, as well as transgender and gender non-conforming people seeking to update their identity documents. Four states—Connecticut, New Mexico, Rhode Island and Nevada—passed new bans on the practice of so-called “conversion therapy,” bringing the total number of states with such bans to 10,

plus the District of Columbia. And the number of states in the SEI’s highestrated category, “Working Toward Innovative Equality,” increased this year from nine to 13. These states and the nation’s capital have robust LGBTQ non-discrimination laws covering employment, housing and public accommodations, as well as protections in the areas of credit and insurance.

Despite these wins, laws protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination vary widely across the nation—or simply do not exist in many states.

“If an LGBTQ couple drove from Maine to California today, their legal rights and civil rights protections could change more than 20 times at state borders and city lines. The vast majority of Americans today understand that this crazy quilt of protections—and lack thereof—is wrong, impractical, and unacceptable,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “The time has come for us to do away with this ragged patchwork of state laws that fail to protect LGBTQ people equally by passing the Equality Act once and for all.”

“Every year, the State Equality Index gives us an opportunity to share some of the victories and heartbreak from the state-based movement for equality,” said Rebecca Isaacs, executive director of Equality Federation Institute.

“This year it’s more important than ever because our progress is under assault from the Trump administration, Congress, and the courts. Despite our emboldened opposition, we still have great opportunity for legislative advocacy and policy making on the ground in states where this work has a critical impact for millions of Americans.”

Despite historically broad and deep support for full LGBTQ equality, an estimated 12 million-plus LGBTQ Americans and their families remain at risk, particularly if they live in one of the 31 states where laws do not adequately protect them against being fired, evicted, or denied services because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Tennessee is one of those 31 states in the country that lack explicit state-level protections for all LGBTQ people.

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According to new HRC polling data, collected by Hart Research Associates, a strong majority of likely voters nationwide support laws that would prevent discrimination against LGBTQ people in the workplace (59 percent) and in housing (58 percent)—laws like the federal Equality Act, which was reintroduced in Congress earlier this year. In fact, many voters believe these protections already exist: fully thirty-eight percent of voters interviewed in a new HRC poll incorrectly believed that current federal law fully protects the right of LGBTQ people on matters such as employment, housing and access to government benefits.

HRC’s full State Equality Index report, including detailed scorecards for every state, a comprehensive review of 2017 state legislation, and a preview of the 2018 state legislative session is available online at hrc.org/sei.

PUBLIC ACCOMMODATIONS

Updated April 25, 2017

Public accommodations refers to both governmental entities and private businesses that provide services to the general public such as restaurants, movie theaters, libraries and shops. It does not encompass private clubs that have a membership or dues process.

Prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity (19 states & D.C.): California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, Washington Prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation only (2 states): New Hampshire, Wisconsin

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FEBRUARY 2018

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FEBRUARY 2018

RIGHTS ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO BE LEFT TO THE COURTS WE MUST BECOME LEGISLATIVE ADVOCATES CHRIS SANDERS

But rather than become lawyers on Facebook, we need to

The one thing I would beg for in the new year is this: When

change our attitude and become legislative advocates. When

anti-LGBTQ bills are filed in Tennessee, please don’t respond

large numbers of us make a convincing argument, we can beat

“Well, that’s just unconstitutional. It will get overturned.”

these bad bills. There’s no need to wait for them to pass and

We have entered a time in which we can no longer be

wonder whether we will get justice in the courts. In fact, it is our

certain that discriminatory bills won’t pass. Neither can we be

responsibility when a threatening beast of a bill appears in our

certain that the courts will rule in our favor.

backyard to run it off and not simply hope that the courts will

The oral arguments in the Masterpiece Cake Shop case

do something down the road.

before the Supreme Court leave many of us with a sense of

Take some inspiration from the almost 100 people who

fear about that impending decision. Just recently the Supreme

showed up in red against the Hamblen County anti-marriage

Court also declined to take up the case against Mississippi’s

equality resolution on December 21. Written off as hopelessly

anti-LGBTQ law because of standing issues, leaving it in place

conservative by many, this county’s residents nevertheless

for now. So that means people will have to be harmed before

showed up and quashed an attack on the dignity of the LGBTQ

the courts will even consider the matter. In the meantime, the

community.

President is reshaping the judiciary with anti-equality jurists.

If an anti-LGBTQ bill does become law, of course, we must

I don’t want to wait and see what the courts might do. I ask you to put your faith in what you can do now.

challenge it in court, even though the outcome is uncertain.

We would be foolish not to do so. Many of our community’s greatest victories have come through the courts.

Chris Sanders is the executive director of the

Tennessee Equality Project.

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FEBRUARY 2018

MEET OUR NOMINEES AND OUR READERS’ CHOICE JAMES GRADY

Valentines Day is a holiday for couples, so this year we thought we’d do something different here at Out & About Nashville and have a little fun focusing on the single folks. We asked our readers to nominate the most eligible singles they know, and we got hundreds of responses. Many of these were duplicates of course.

We reached out to every nominee to give them an opportunity to participate in the final voting—some agreed enthusiastically, while others were no longer single or didn’t wish to participate for other reasons. In the end, we had ten nominees agree to participate: Eric Dulberg, Staeven Lewis Frey, TK Hampton (no longer single), Barry King, Derrick Lachney, Sara Olivia Moore, Ben Slinkard, Lawson Stover, Kenny Tallier, and Heather Walls.

This year, our readers showed the love to all of our nominees, but our “Readers’ Choices” this year were Lawson Stover and Heather Walls. We offered all of our nominees the opportunity to share some things about themselves too, so, without further ado, get ready to meet some of our community’s most eligible!

And for those nominees who weren’t able to meet our deadline, hopefully we’ll see them in online features soon!

Lawson Stover Lawson has been single for nearly two years but says, “Time is just a number, right?”

He’s used that time to get in touch with himself: “Being single lets you figure out who you are and what you want in a partner.

That is the road that leads to hopefully finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. So I guess … my favorite part of being single is to figure out who I am and who I need that will go on the journey we call ‘life’ with me.”

He certainly doesn’t enjoy every aspect of being single and dating. “There’s “the feeling of being let down. To think you have a connection and the other person does not feel the same way. It is funny because most of the time I think there is something there…

Why is love so one sided most of the time?”

The size of the local community also poses some issues. “It seems everyone I could be interested in has dated someone I know.

Just recently I have decided to not care about ‘bro code’ because Nashville is just too small.”

What’s Lawson looking for? “Initial attraction is key,” he said, “but I have a wide idea of what that attraction is to me. Often, it’s a guy that has old fashion ideals, in the sense he wants to pick me up for our first date. It’s in no means the only thing that puts a guy on my radar, but it sure does give me hope that someone out there wants

to get to know me the old fashion way.”

“I’m just looking for the guy that wants it to be special that we have each other. I want a man that makes me strive to be better. I don’t want a man to make me, but us, feel special. I want a man to make me be better than the person I was the day before. I want to be with a guy that wants me to make him better. I try every single day to be better, but I’ll be honest it’s hard. I want a guy to stand by me and then triumph through the hard times and make a difference in this world. We have enough people telling us we aren’t good enough. It is time we are good enough. Good enough for love, for failure, for success, for forgiveness, for heartbreak, and most of all @OUTANDABOUTNASH 1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S good enough for love.”

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Heather Walls Heather is a real catch! As she describes herself, “Me in a nutshell: I’m basically a cross between April Ludgate from Parks and Rec and Dr. Cox from Scrubs. I am also WAY too obsessed with animals, and will probably have a small zoo by the time it’s all said and done. Most of them are animals that my ‘friends’ brought me to nurse back to life. And I did. And then I couldn’t get rid of them.”

And cute and fuzzy animals aren’t the only things she nurses. “I’d say I am most proud of the fact that I am able to wake up every day and go to a job I love, where I truly feel like I am making a difference in the lives of others. As a Nurse Practitioner who works in mental health, I frequently see patients who have minimal to no resources at their disposal. It is incredibly rewarding to be able to provide these services to those in need.”

Heather is “fairly new to the single game, as my last relationship just ended 4 months ago.” Apparently it’s an adjustment, as when asked what her favorite part about being single is, she joked, “No one drinks all my coffee. Jk. But not really.”

Especially as a newly-minted single, there’s been a lot to adjust to. One of the hardest parts, she says, is “being the ONLY person in your core group of friends who isn’t married and/or has children. That, on top of the fact that I’m not getting younger! Neither are great scenarios.”

Like Lawson, she pointed out that, “The Nashville gay scene is relatively small.

Due to this, everyone knows everyone else and has probably dated each other at SOME point. Not a huge fan of that.”

If you can’t already tell, humor is an important characteristic for Heather when it comes to looking for a partner. “I am a sucker for someone who can make me laugh.

Sense of humor is #1 for me. Basically, I’m a sarcastic jerk 95% of the time; therefore, I need someone who can keep up with me and isn’t going to get offended by every little thing. ALSO ... they must be intelligent, and they must have passion for something ... anything. But if they are a teacher—HUGE bonus.

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FEBRUARY 2018

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MEET YOUR OTHER NOMINEES T K Hampton Thunder Kellie (TK) Hampton, who is no longer single, is one of our community’s proud HIV advocates. “I am most proud of my advocacy work. I am proud of my platform about HIV advocacy and my commitment to live a holistic life. I am proud I have the opportunity to help others live their lives to the fullest, no matter what their HIV status.”

“What is important to me?” he added. “FAMILY: both birth family and chosen family. It is important for me to be honest with myself so I can be authentic with those whom I serve through HIV prevention and advocacy, even if that honesty makes me vulnerable. Connected to that honesty, it is important for me to call out and name racism when I see it, even if folks get tired of hearing about it or if it lands me in trouble. Why? The community I serve continues to be disproportionately affected by HIV, with one in two black men who have sex with men predicted to be infected, compared with one in ten white men who have sex with men. The root cause of this discrepancy is systemic racism, which negatively affects resources, education, and treatment opportunities.

I would be a poor advocate if I ignored that truth.”

“I am most proud of the theatrical production that I wrote and produced, You Shall LHIV 2:ZERO (lhiv.org).

Through story and song, the musical presents a way forward to get to zero HIV transmissions by 2020. ZERO has gone places and reached people I could have never imagined. I am thankful for the amazing cast and crew who were willing to join me in being honest, who tackled tough issues, and who made themselves vulnerable for the sake of others.”

Though TK is off the market and in a committed monogamous relationship—how the most eligible fly off the shelves, right?—he did share some thoughts about his recent experiences being single.

“Before meeting him, I was single for over 2 years. I dated many guys, but found it hard to date within my community.

As a community leader, I would not date the same men I advocated for and taught. So, dating for me was limited.”

“The biggest issue I have faced is that the dating pool in Nashville is small. Many guys have hang ups about dating and have their minds set on the types of guys they are willing to date. Other guys are only seeking a sexual moment. That type of encounter has its place, and it certainly had its moments for me! So I am in no way putting it down. It’s just that sometimes our relationship needs change. We may not even be aware of those needs, but when the right one comes along, BAM! There it is.”

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Eric Dulberg Eric has a truly inspiring story. Talk about transformations!

“Eight years ago, I was homeless and living in the Mission. I lost everything due to drug use. I decided to make a change and I have spent these years literally rebuilding my life from a suitcase. It is so important to give back and to help people to continue to drive goals. I am not really a person interested in things money can buy. I’m not after money. It’s the matters of the heart that attract me. I mentor others like me who struggle with addiction. I will be a college graduate in one year, with a bachelor’s degree in commercial photography.”

For the last three years, Eric’s been single, and like our other nominees, he’s not pessimistic about the time he’s been able to spend focusing on himself. “Being single isn’t SO bad! I mean, I have been able to take time to really get to know myself and the things I want in life. Being single has allowed me time to pursue college and develop myself as a photographer.” But, he added, “Sometimes when something really, really good happens, it would be rad to have someone special to tell.”

Eric’s path in life have presented him with certain difficulties when it comes to dating in our community. We are a small subset already, and so much of our socializing occurs in bars and clubs. “This isn’t so much an ‘issue’ as it is a personal preference. I don’t drink. I would much rather travel and explore the city and be outdoors than to be in a bar or club. And honestly, there is a lot of partying that seems to go on in the scene here. I have been clean and sober for almost eight years, and it means so much to me.

So, I have to be pretty selective when dating and getting to know people.

What is he ultimately looking for? e) When you are looking for a partner, what are the things you are most looking for? It is so important to be able to laugh. I look for a guy who has drive. Someone who wants to better themselves and the people they encounter. I want someone who is honest, kind and laid back. Passion is so important to me and I look for someone with a positive attitude in life. A killer smile isn’t bad either.

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

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Ben Slinkard Ben is a self-described “Missouri boy, who moved to Nashville 6 years ago. I moved to better my career, and needed a change. I didn’t know anyone when I moved here, but I am a very outgoing person.” He credits HotMess sports with helping him get connected. “I entered as a free agent, not knowing anyone. I have met many of my lifelong friends due to being involved in the HotMess organization.”

“I am a teacher, and I love every moment of it! I have always had a love for learning. I wanted to become a teacher to not only help students learn but help them be themselves … to teach them not to be afraid of challenges. I think what I am most proud of in life is that I am not afraid or ashamed to be me. I am not afraid to take on each day as myself and grow to become a better person. I am proud that I took risks in moving to a new place not knowing anyone, and proud that I have an amazing career in helping young people to grow in their thinking and learning.

What’s important to me, well obviously my family, and my chosen family! With out my amazing support system of friends and family I wouldn’t be the person I am… When I am not teaching or at school, I am spending time with my friends and enjoying life.”

“I am also a performer at Lipstick Lounge, and love it! It’s fun to become a character that says what everyone is thinking... I just get say it on a stage in a wig! It’s a part of my crazy, fun-filled life! I would like for someone to join me on the journey! There is more I could tell, but then I would have nothing to talk about on a first date!”

“I don’t find anything hard about being single. Being single is what you make of it,” Ben said, so he’s taking his time and not rushing it. “I think the biggest issue I have experienced in the dating scene is not being seen past looks, or how fem I am. Sometimes dating seems very surface, and not many people wanting to look below that surface to build a type of relationship.”

If he could find a fellow traveler on his crazy journey, though, he would of course be looking for, “Prince Charming, duh! No, when looking for a partner I am looking for heart and soul! A big heart is always a good thing to have, someone who is comfortable with themselves. Someone who isn’t afraid to take risk or be adventurous.

Life Is what you make it and I am not a ‘sit back and observe’ kinda person.”

“I need someone who can balance my big personality!” he added. “I am looking for a guy who has a steady career and wants to be successful, a guy who potentially would like a family one day (A gay boy can dream). In the end, I’m just looking for a guy who is down to earth, can go out and be social, and also could enjoy a relaxing night in. If any guy matches some of these, he sounds like someone who would be great person to get to know!

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Barry King Barry is a small business owner. “I’ve run my own interior design firm for 17 years. I take a great deal of pride in the effort it has taken—to believe in myself and to stay motivated and open to learning, evolving. Personally, I’m glad I’ve learned to question my stressful thoughts and to have an open heart and mind.”

Outside of work, “I’ve sung with Nashville In Harmony for the last 6 years, and I coordinate their outfits. For fun, I bowl with the Rainbowlers League, and help out with the Nashville LGBT Gaymers and Friends group. I work out, practice yoga, and I’m a fantastic cook. I’ve become much more politically active recently. I have a group of friends that have been doing Margarita Mondays for 4 years, and, for the past year or so, we write our representatives. In 2016 I volunteered for a week registering voters in Charlotte, NC.” Barry also has his nerd credentials: “I’m also a bit of a nerd. I’ve played Dungeon and Dragons for 35 years!”

In the four years he’s been single, Barry has enjoyed connecting with others. “Friends, friends and more friends! I’m grateful for the time I get to spend with both my biological and chosen family, although, it would be great to share all of the people I love with someone special.”

“I miss being completely open and vulnerable with someone, sharing hopes and fears, joy and loss, being excited about our accomplishments, feeling empowered by sharing goals.”

However, the changing shape of the dating scene has presented some issues. “Being able to swipe left or right on a person is representative of how people have become commodities.

It sometimes feels like we’ve lost deeper appreciation of a person.

We’ve definitely become much more risk adverse.”

Perhaps the biggest issue he identifies, however, is one we don’t talk about much, “Probably the biggest issue is the lack of

Sara Olivia Moore Sara introduces herself thus: “Here’s a quick glimpse into who I am.

I grew up half-naked on the back of a four-wheeler, riding down to the pond to shoot snakes with my BB gun that my NASCAR watchin’ daddy gave me back in my birthplace of Arkansas.

Redneck-turned-city girl. They both live harmoniously inside me.

Still. Last but most definitely not least: Demi Lovato, if you’re reading this, hit me up, babe.”

“2016 was shit. 2017 was worse. Being able to say I made it out alive is one of the most amazing feats I’ve overcome in my life. Often times, merely surviving is all an individual needs to feel a sense of pride, and I surely do. There’s no trophy, no awards: just knowing you’ve kicked hell to the curb by your own doing is a U T A N Dwhere A B O U TINam.” A S H V I L L E .CO M miracle.O That’s 24

NOVEMBER 2017

opportunities to find a date,” he explained. There is a hole in our community, a missing segment of a generation, that surrounding generations perhaps haven’t noticed. “I think the AIDS crisis in the 80’s and 90’s decimated my generation, which I feel limits the possibilities of finding someone to connect with who is around my age.”

So, when it comes to potential partners, Barry remains open with what he’s looking for: “A guy with a fulfilling life, who is humorous and handsome. I try to stay as open as possible about the specifics.”

“Most of my friends are drunks,” she adds, but is she joking?

“So, yeah, it feels promising to have a leg up on many of my peers.

Not like life is a race, because it is not, I am blessed to have wrestled a few ropes sooner than later than most. I’ve been immersed in recovery after dabbling with the idea for a few years thanks to a few programs and different therapies.

“Currently, the main focus in my life is the tough lesson of being unquestionably honest with myself and others. Recovery is quite the golden ticket. The concept of forthrightness and assiduously seeking that personal truth will live with me until I’m 6’ under.”

“My bachelorette lifestyle has been in full swing since June 2016. There have been a few dates and one incomprehensibly strange dating relationship between being single. If someone would have asked me over a year ago what the best thing about being single was, my response would have been: absolutely nothing. I’m a galaxy away from where I was now. The best thing about being single is that I have had an immense amount of selfdiscovery. What a liberating feeling to explore the self! By being

PHOTO: EMILY APRIL ALLEN

on my own, I have learned about the inner workings of life, love, and human connection more than ever before.”

She does miss one thing, though: “The cuddles.

The fucking cuddles. I’m a self-proclaimed cuddle monster, y’all.”

Like other nominees, Sara noted, “The dating scene in Nashville is strange in the queer world.

Nearly everyone is loosely associated to one another in this community. It’s intriguing to learn what the correct or respectful boundaries within the LGBTQ stomping grounds are. Relations can be, er, slightly interconnected. Also, Nashville has a considerable party scene which isn’t always my jam, so I’ve found other means of connecting on a more personal, raw level with others. Though challenging, I embrace it.”

“When looking for a partner, I always seek kindness and understanding, which conclusively comes down to elevated emotional intelligence.

Someone who is genuine and curious floats my boat as well. Honesty and learning are fun! Someone who appreciates nature, human connection, and storytelling is worth getting to become acquainted with.

Attractive potty mouth? Smashing the patriarchy? A little bit of a punk ass? Artist of sorts? Digs my love of crawfish, maybe? Mental health warrior? Nerd? Sign me up.” Also, Demi Lovato.

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Part 2: Belize SUNNY EATON IS A LOCAL ATTORNEY AND 4-TIME NOMINEE FOR OUT & ABOUT’S GAY FAVES. HER WIFE, KARIN BALSLEY IS A NETWORK ENGINEER. THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 6 YEARS AND LIVE IN EAST NASHVILLE. SUNNY AND KARIN LEFT EVERYTHING BEHIND TO TAKE A TWO-YEAR DRIVE, WITH THEIR DOG, THROUGH MEXICO AND CENTRAL AMERICA. THEIR STORY HAS BEEN FEATURED IN CURVE AND WAND’RLY MAGAZINE AND EXPEDITIONPORTAL.COM. THEY ARE WORKING ON A BOOK TITLED I CAN. I WILL: WOMEN OVERLANDING THE WORLD, EXPECTED TO PRINT IN SPRING OF 2018.

For the 2nd part of our four-part series, they invite you to join them on the journey.

We had Mexico in our rear-view mirror, and Belize in our sights. After six months of dayto-day fumbling and struggling through with our mediocre Spanish, a few weeks in an English-speaking country was a welcome respite.

I was imagining a young Tom Cruise behind a beachfront bar, flipping glasses, with UB40 playing in the background (only people over 35 will get that reference).

Belize is popular tourist destination and was our first Caribbean country. We knew it would be incredible: breathtaking, culturally diverse, and easy to navigate due to its small size and full community of American and Canadian expats.

Crossing international borders by land, in your car, with a dog, can be dizzying.

Each border is different, with a variety of paperwork requirements, wait times, and levels of chaos. Belize was only our second border crossing of the trip, and we were not yet pros. Days preceding were spent organizing documents, preparing and getting excited. The night before our crossing, we did the obligatory Facebook post announcing our plan to cross the border in the morning.

“I would never go to Belize. They still put gay people in jail there,” came the response to my post. It shook me. I’d researched gay laws in all of Central America and had been pleasantly surprised. We went

to many gay bars in Mexico and generally felt safe to be who we are. Old ideas were making their way out.

I suppose, because of Belize’s reputation for having a high volume of American tourists and retirees, I had assumed progressive attitudes. I had assumed incorrectly. As it turned out, Belize was the last country in Central America to have anti-gay laws on the books. A string of acts of violence against LGBT people had

been plaguing the country for months.

We agonized over whether or not to continue with our plans. You may be wondering, why not just be in the closet? It wasn’t quite that simple.

First, we have our website on our vehicle. One look at the site will tell you we are a couple. Second, I have served on many boards of gay rights-centered organizations.

I was President of the Gay and Lesbian student association at my law school. These

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are the bits of information that you find when Google searching my name. Then there is the question of whether or not we wanted to spend our money in a country that has such a negative attitude towards gay people.

In the end. we decided to go. Our choice was to not limit ourselves only to the comfortable or safe and certainly not to be told where we could and could not go. But we WOULD be careful.

We took down the “About Us” page on the website, put together a story about why we were two women traveling together and caravanned with other traveler friends. We knew the most difficult behavior to keep in check would be the things you don’t think about: the way a couple looks at each other, unconscious touching of each other’s waists, sitting with our legs touching. There would be no room for mistakes.

Our first night did not go so well. Belize was far more beautiful than we could have dreamed—lush and green, with waters bluer than the clearest sky. Our first stop: the border town of Corazol. We stopped at a local bar, did the traditional first toast of a new country and set up camp in a park at the center of town, on the water’s edge, called “Rainbow Park.” The irony was not lost on us.

Keep in mind, we had spent 6 months of driving and camping in big, scary Mexico and not one bad thing happened. There wasn’t a single moment where we felt uneasy or as if we were at risk. We were in Belize for less than a few hours when a man approached our tent in the middle of the night. Our friends woke and chased him away but it was terrifying. And the night wasn’t over.

Fast forward a few more hours to sunrise, when another man parked his car as close to ours as possible. We looked out of our tent window to find him happily masturbating in our direction. He wasn’t deterred by discovery: he just waved, smiled, and kept going. It wasn’t the most welcoming experience.

Right then and there, Karin and I considered simply turning around and re-entering Mexico, traveling a few hours east, and going to Guatemala instead. I’m glad that is not the choice we made.

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Instead, we continued forward with our friends, despite raw nerves and the sour taste in our mouths. On a trip like this, a day— and how you feel—can turn on a dime. Our second day in Belize was full of adventure, backroads, and hand-cranked ferry crossings.

We arrived at our next campsite, a placed called Backpacker’s Paradise, in Sartaneja. It was owned by a French woman named Nathalie. Walking to her office, I saw it, like a beacon: Everything I needed—a rainbow sticker on the door. As it turns out, Nathalie is a DJ and had DJ’d Belize’s only gay pride celebration, the previous year. She educated us about the growing gay movement in Belize and the brave people there fighting for equality. We were encouraged.

Over the following weeks, we explored the many towns and beaches of Belize. Towns bore names like Crooked Tree, Indian Church, and Orange Walk. We encountered our first, though certainly not our last, crocodile infested rivers. We camped at the marina in Belize City and traveled to the islands of Caye Caulker and San Pedro, we put our toes in as much white sand as possible, and we swam in as much blue water as our sunburnt skin could handle.

We snorkeled and scuba-dived and ate fresh lobster brought in by fisherman on tiny boats. In Caye Caulker, the motto is “Go Slow!” and that is what Belize taught us to do … to be patient, to wait.

Good things are almost always on the horizon.

This sort of trip, however, is nothing if not unpredictable and just as we were getting acclimated to the heat, sandflies, and salty air, we received news of a hurricane on the horizon. We were camped on in the parking lot of a beachfront hotel in Placencia, a small coastal peninsula. Surrounded by water on all sides, we had no choice but to head to the mountains and look for shelter.

A little-known fact about Belize is that it has a large Mennonite population. And let me be the first to say, Mennonites make fantastic cheese. They also seemed to have the nicest and most affordable Airbnb’s in Belize.

After buying groceries and liquor and charging all devices, we set off for the mountain refuge we had found on a Mennonite cow farm. Upon arrival, we found a stunning, two-story chalet … that had absolutely no protection from the coming storm and was surrounded by large palm trees with plenty of coconuts that could be propelled like sky-bombs!

The next several hours were spent boarding windows with whatever we could find and relocating our vehicle to higher, palmtree free ground.

The storm was everything we had anticipated, wild and roaring.

We lost power early in the night and did not regain it for three days.

Roads flooded, livestock was lost, and many buildings lost roofs.

Finally, after a week, the water receded and it was safe to travel.

Nathalie, the DJ from Backpacker’s Paradise, told us about Belize’s second-ever gay Pride celebration, scheduled for the following week. With trepidation, we decided to attend. We arrived in the city on the parade’s scheduled day and found neither rainbow flags nor drag queens. There was no thumpa-thumpa in the air and no glitter on the street.

I emailed Nathalie and asked what had happened. We were told that there had been violent protests because the US Embassy in Belize City flew a rainbow flag for Pride month. This bold action led to attacks against the local LGBT community. The celebration

had been cancelled.

Disheartened again, we returned to exploring and set out to make the best of our last days in Belize. We drove the famed Butterfly Highway and explored the ATM Caves. We learned how to open coconuts without spilling the water and that coconut oil mixed with baby oil is the best way to stave off mosquitos and sandflies.

Nights were spent crab-hunting with pepperoni and paperclips (you had to be there).

Two days before we left Belize, the Belizean Supreme Court struck down their law against gay relationships, eliminating the final law of its kind in all of Central America. We were proud to be present in the country when it happened and, of course, had drinks to celebrate! Although Belize has a long way to go, this lifted some of the shadow that had been hanging over our time there.

Belize turned out to be a wonderful country with unmatched beauty, diverse in races, religions, and cultures. We do not regret going. The Belizean gay community exists, albeit quietly, and there are efforts to change Belizean attitudes. Progress will always happen.

Love will always win. Everywhere.

Tune in next month for Part 3, where we recount meeting the lesbian mafia of Guatemala, camping next to an active volcano, and finding a magical lake.

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Group Seeks to Showcase Artists Under the RNBW Promoting LGBT Music Through Live Events

RNBW (Pronounced RAINBOW) is an organization that promotes LGBT+ music in the Nashville community through live music events, house shows, and mixers. With a goal of total inclusivity, RNBW showcases writers, artists and music creators of all genres and format, and welcomes an 18+ crowd at all events.

“As active members of the music industry,” explained co-founder Emily Dryburgh, “our goal with RNBW is to create an outlet in Nashville, for LGBT+ artists to connect and perform their music” “We are in historical period where people are embracing their diversity,” added, cofounder Myylo. “There are members of our community who want to see themselves reflected in the music they listen to and the people they surround themselves with. That’s where RNBW comes in.”

According to Nashville singer/songwriter Jeff Carl, “RNBW is the beginning of such a wonderful new element to the LGBT+ community of Nashville. A monthly gathering of queer artists and allies coming together to share art, music and love in a way that fosters community. It’s impossible to go to a RNBW event and not leave having met someone new, smiled, hummed a tune. Gay Nashville is alive!”

RNBW was founded by music industry up-and-comers, Myylo, Emily Dryburgh, and Jamie Dryburgh. For interest in performing at or hosting an event, please contact the team at their email rnbwnash@gmail. com. Stay tuned to their socials for all info on upcoming events! They can be found at facebook.com/RNBWNASH and on O U T Aat N D@RNBWNash A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M FEBRUARY 2018 Instagram 32

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1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S 5/5/16 11:30 AM

THREE LGBT THEMED FILMS TO RUN AT THE BELCOURT

JAMES GRADY

February isn’t always a particularly exciting time to go to the movies, unless you’re seeing those award-nominated films that finally get, or return, to theaters. For independent theaters, award season is an exciting time to get audiences out, especially when independent films have been thrust to the center of attention.

This February, the Belcourt is, of course, bringing a lot of those films to Nashville, but it also has a strong selection of films of LGBT interest this month, both a classic and two rising favorites.

This Gus Van Sant classic, released in 1991, is a loose adaptation of Shakespeare’s Henry IV. Mike Waters (River Phoenix) is a gay hustler afflicted with narcolepsy. Scott Favor (Keanu Reeves) is the rebellious son of a mayor. Together, the two travel from Portland, Oregon to Idaho and finally to the coast of Italy in a quest to find Mike’s estranged mother. Along the way they turn tricks for money and drugs, eventually attracting the attention of a wealthy benefactor and sexual deviant.

Special showing at midnight on Februar y 9.

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

FEBRUARY 2018

This Chilean film by director Sebastian Lelio was 2017 release and has created a lot of buzz. It was a New York Times Critic’s Pick. This film’s beautiful, enigmatic transgender heroine, Marina (Daniela Vega), is plunged into a precarious situation after her boyfriend dies unexpectedly in her company.

“Making subtle nods toward Almodóvar and Fassbinder, Lelio suffuses his scenes with an air of subversive noir, emphasizing Marina’s quest to prove she is not the femme fatale her adversaries make her out to be. A Fantastic Woman is an alluring exercise in style, a smart spin on the genre, and a much-needed entry into the category of films that move trans characters from the margins to the spotlight.”

Set to open on Friday, February 23, show times will be posted Monday, February 19.

Robin Campillo’s magnificent film, BPM (Beats Per Minute), won the Grand Prix at Cannes and was among the most acclaimed international films of 2017 (snubbed for an Oscar nom to boot). BPM is a harrowing yet inspiring look back at the activism of French ACT UP protesters during the height of the AIDS crisis in the early 1990s. With the disease having claimed countless lives in the past 10 years, the Parisian branch of ACT UP begins to multiply their actions to fight the public’s general indifference to this massive health crisis. Nathan (Arnaud Valois), a newcomer to the group, soon has his world shaken up by the radical militant Sean (Nahuel Perez Biscayart).

As of this writing, the Belcourt had not set a firm opening day, so check back at belcourt.org for the most up-to-date information on dates and show times.

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37

OVER

the RAINBOW

JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

I had my back to the outside wall at the El Rio in San Francisco’s Mission District.

A sea of lesbian twenty-somethings was in front of me, dancing to hot salsa on New Year’s Eve and awaiting the strike of midnight on the Pacific Coast.

“This is crazy,” I thought…

I had spent a good chunk of time over the previous five years attempting to convince family and friends that coming out, transitioning and going through with the confirmation surgery was NOT succumbing to the mother of all midlife crises ... and for the most part, I had succeeded. But what I was about to do would likely raise a few eyebrows, if publicly known.

The girls were off on the great family ski trip, New Year’s weekend was two days away, and a moment of boredom scanning deep discount airfares led me to strike gold.

“Adults your age don’t do this,” I had thought before purchasing the ticket. They tend not to have confirmation surgeries either, I reasoned, so I was off to the coast and accepting a long-delayed challenge.

That weekend, I would go to a club or two and attempt to have fun. Supposedly, women do that, and supposedly I was a woman—a happily married, lesbian woman. One who uses a reporter’s notebook a bit too much as a social shield, in all honesty.

I will admit it: I’m shy. Gender dysphoria often does that to people. I am still in the process of unlearning how to be a guy, and perhaps I had my surgery a bit too early. But it was the right move, and now I am in the middle of figuring out what Julie is supposed to look like in the longterm. I cheated on the “real life” test and have been paying a price for that. That would stop this weekend ... after a call to Soulmate explaining why I was in San Francisco (note to file: learn to ski.)

Flash forward: I had checked into my hostel shortly before and had prepared for the night accordingly. Anyone who

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knows me in real life also knows that I am inconsistent with female presentation (except in the workplace, where I am always in girl kit.) Some of this is by design: I prefer to model a “who gives a s*** about gender” approach for my teenage daughter.

That night I actually did some butch primping: tight black sports bra underneath the light grey women’s t-shirt, olive drab pants that strategically revealed the distinct lack of manhood and the semipracticed, semi-spiky shortish hairdo, all of which took only a good half-hour to accomplish. A close shave and an evening setting means no makeup required.

Primping done, I stepped back from the mirror and ... holy f***! I really looked like a butch woman.

I had done my homework. The El Rio was a historic lesbian-only club that had opened up to the full community not too long before. They advertised that they were transgender-friendly, but I was still nervous standing in the line to get in that night. It was all women stretching around the block. The good news was that I had my gear right. A look at my ID, then a smile.

“I like the hair,” the woman at the door said. I smiled back. This was a good sign.

The salsa was beginning to give way to hip-hop when the upcoming DJ saw me tight against the wall and came over. She was smiling too.

“You new in town?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“Where are you from sweetie? I live across the Bay…” She was African-American and as butch as they come. She was also very attractive. Suddenly all of my teenage fantasies were beginning to materialize.

“Nashville, ma’am,” I replied.

“Come a long way to be with us tonight. Can I buy you a drink?” she offered.

Ten years of military school prison was worth that line, and that moment.

“Thank you, but I’m just here to dance tonight…”

FEBRUARY 2018

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She smiled again.

“Where’s your partner?” she asked.

“Ski trip with my daughter.” I paused.

“I don’t ski.”

She laughed. “Neither do I. But the question is can you dance? You have been hugging that wall tightly all night.”

She was wrong on that one. I had been attempting a mild bit of gyration for the last hour or so. Admittedly I do tend to dance like a repressed Canadian, but…

She continued. “Listen sweetie, let me get you that drink anyway. Then let me introduce you to someone else who needs a partner tonight. She’s attached too.”

She turned for the bar, paused, looked back, and then grinned. “And she dances like you.”

I was soon introduced to a local college professor. Hailed from Russia and married to her Israeli wife of ten years, with three children at home. She told me that Russians always go out for New Year’s no matter what... She was just glad she wasn’t the only married woman there that night.

The rest is private. I am happy to say that I did not do anything that would get me in trouble, but I had a blast. I was just one of the girls, for the first time ever.

There will be a next time.

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local 40-something trans woman.

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