O&AN | July 2017 by Out & About Nashville

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07.17

CONTENTS

NASHVILLE SUPPORTS NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH

NASHVILLE CARES HOSTS “A MODERN SOCIAL”

INTO THE WILD: MAKING THE MOST OF THIS SUMMER

A LOOK INTO ONE HOTMESS OF A DRAG SHOW

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AN INTERVIEW WITH GRETCHEN PETERS

JULY 2017

PLANET NASHVILLE ON TOP OF THE WORLD FIFTH ANNUAL FUNDRAISER HELD ON WESTIN ROOFTOP

Planet Nashville is an organization founded by John Lasiter that raises funds to send local volunteers to Nairobi, Kenya for a two week, life enhancing volunteer mission. Lasiter believes that these trips not only benefit the community in Africa that they serve but also allow volunteers to return to Nashville with a priceless perspective that will benefit our community for years to come. This year, thanks to the support of Westin Nashville, the organization was able to hold its fifth annual fundraiser literally “On

Top of the World.” The annual event that corresponds closely to Lasiter’s birthday, is different than many other fundraisers in Nashville: there is no charge to attend and everyone is welcome. Contributions of any size are welcomed and appreciated. In addition to funds raised via donations, the event also featured art for sale by silent auction, which raises even more for Planet Nashville. Learn more about the organization and ways you can get involved by visiting planetnashville.org.

BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS, NOT WALLS.

OURHOUSE NASHVILLE

PHOTOS: KEITH RICHARDSON

KEVIN WILSON

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Months ago, national organizers began planning an equality march in opposition to the emerging policies of Donald Trump to coincide with Pride in the nation’s capitol, focusing not only on LGBT issues, but also immigrants and women’s rights and other human and civil rights issues. In the intervening months, cities around the country, including Nashville, planned parallel demonstrations, as the government increasingly lived down to our expectations. Nashville’s rally shows that our local LGBT community and its allies stand in solidarity with others around the country, as well as other minority communities. Nashville was also well-represented at the national rally in D.C., with O&AN publisher Jerry Jones providing live coverage of the event via Facebook, and numerous other members of the community traveling to join the resistance.

NASHVILLE LGBT COMMUNITY SUPPORTS NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH LOCAL EVENT HELD IN PARALLEL TO MARCH ON THE CAPITOL O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

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With the President refusing to acknowledge LGBT Pride and increasingly proposing new measures against the communities participating in the rally, we can expect the need for large, coordinated shows of mutual support to increase in the coming months. But, so far, the resistance has shown strength and resilience. The pushback against recent gains has also inspired greater interest in local Pride festivals in general accounting to preliminary findings of Community Marketing & Insights 11th Annual LGBT Community Survey (CMI). The survey found that “63% of LGBTQ Americans said that that they will (or already did) attend their hometown Pride in 2017. This is compared to 47% having attended their hometown Pride events last year, representing a 34% increase in interest and participation for 2017. Further, “84% reported that Pride events across the United States are as important as ever, and 82% indicated that they feared rollbacks of recent LGBTQ equality gains. With recent political changes and uncertainty, LGBTQ Pride events are taking on a renewed importance in 2017, and CMI anticipates record attendance this year.”

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PHOTOS: AMIIN WARRICK

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AC 2 ANDERSON

AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH

COOPER

ANDY

COHEN

DEEP TALK AND SHALLOW TALES

EXPO

Join Cohen and Cooper for an unscripted, uncensored, and unforgettable night of conversation

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TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR HEALTH Attend the first-ever LGBT Chamber Health Expo to find your inclusive health providers from a broad spectrum of practices. JULY 19

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PHOTOS: CODY TRACEY

NATIONAL EQUALITY MARCH IN D.C.

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JULY 2017

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NASHVILLE CARES HOSTS ‘A MODERN SOCIAL’ GALA RAISES FUNDS FOR EVOLVING MISSION

This year, in throwing its annual gala, Nashville CARES took a different approach, hosting an event it called ‘A Modern Social.’ The event was “a Celebration, Reflection, and New Conversation about the 30 plus years of Nashville CARES service to those affected by HIV/AIDS in Middle Tennessee.” This semi-formal, non-traditional gala celebrated gains made in our community while posing new questions to guide our approaches to the future: “What does the HIV/AIDS epidemic look like today?” “What it will take to End the HIV AIDS epidemic in Middle Tennessee once and for all?” “Where does the conversation go from here?” “How do we get to ZERO?”

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CARES touted the event as “honoring the past while optimistically, and aggressively, summoning the future.” Held at Track One on Saturday, June 17, 2017, the event did just that, and featured programming that included comedienne Leanne Morgan, and AIDS activist and former Project Runway contestant, Jack Mackenroth, Mayor Megan Barry, and national celebrity cameos, as well as catering by Kristen Winston Catering. Event Co-Chairs were Ray Booth & John Shea, Benjamin & Gen Sohr, and Mike Smith & Kelly Mason, and the Host Committee Chairs were Jeremy Davis & Matt Dillman, Jon Glassmeyer, and Bob & Sue Mendes.

PHOTOS: JAMES GRADY

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A VERY SORDID WEDDING AT THE BELCOURT SHORES AND CAST PARTY WITH FANS AT CANVAS

Award-winning writer/director Del Shores brought his latest film, A Very Sordid Wedding, the sequel to his play, movie and TV series Sordid Lives to Nashville’s Belcourt Theatre for a week-long theatrical release from June 16–22, 2017. Shores, along with producer/co-star Emerson Collins (Bravo’s The People’s Couch) hosted a pre-party at Canvas Lounge on Thursday before the show’s run began, featuring drag performances by Veronika Electronika. On Friday, June 16, they held a Q&A after the 7:30 p.m. screening, as well as an after party, again at Canvas. The sequel was a long time coming. “Not a day goes by,” Shores said, “where someone doesn’t write me asking me for more Sordid Lives. So many of my LGBTQ fans, of all ages, have come out to their folks by showing them Sordid Lives because the humor helped them share their own story… I am excited to bring my characters up to July 2015 where they are hit with the reality of Texas having full equality. I wanted to contrast affirming churches and organizations like Faith In America with the hypocritical bigotry that is still being spewed from pulpits represented by the ‘Anti-Equality Rally’ in the film.” “With the victory of marriage equality and the resulting backlash disguised as ‘religious freedom’ bills, our film exploring the impact of religious bigotry couldn’t come at a more timely moment in our history,” added producer and star Emerson Collins. “Hard-fought LGBTQ rights won over the past eight years now hang in the balance with the new presidential administration and conservative state legislatures across the country preparing to target the LGBTQ community.” As the original film dealt with coming out in a conservative Southern world, A Very Sordid Wedding explores the questions, bigotry and the fallout of what happens when gay marriage comes to communities and families that are not quite ready to accept it. But when exploring questions like this in the Southern Baptist world of Winters, Texas, through the lens of Del Shores, be prepared for serious questions to yield comedy gold. That comedy gold was ably delivered by an all-star ensemble cast of characters, led by Bonnie Bedelia (Parenthood), Caroline Rhea (Sabrina, the Teenage Witch), Dale Dickey, and Leslie Jordan (Will & Grace), and including other cast members from the original Sordid Lives film, such as Newell Alexander, Rosemary Alexander, Kirk Geiger, Sarah Hunley, Lorna Scott, and Ann Walker. New to the Sordid Lives world are Emerson Collins, Tony winner Levi Kreis, and Whoopi Goldberg, with a special cameo, among many others.

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The film’s World Premiere was in March in Palm Springs, California, where it received the country’s highest per screen specialty box office average its opening weekend. Since then, A Very Sordid Wedding has enjoyed in its limited release, soldout premieres in over a dozen markets. Film Journal International raves, “If you liked the original, the overdue sequel to Sordid Lives will both delight you and warm your ever-lovin’ heart” and The Hollywood Reporter says the film “offers some undeniably entertaining moments, and its talented ensemble, clearly encouraged to pull out all the stops, delivers their comic shtick with admirable gusto.” For more on the movie, check out its website, averysordidwedding.com, and if you can’t catch it in theaters, look for a DVD release as early as October 2017!

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here’s plenty to gripe about—just ask the LGBT community in Nashville. Of course we have serious issues, like political opposition to our rights and a lack of job and housing protections. Then there are the lesser issues people love to focus on, like traffic—which, yes, is a mess, and yes, is annoying. And the heat of summer. Being stuck in traffic in the heat… Pollen… Okay, but it’s summer and Middle Tennessee is beautiful, and full of ways to enjoy the summer sun, heat, pollen and traffic be darned! Even in the city, there are tons of ways to get outside and enjoy yourselves in the company of your fellow LGBT folks. Just look at a few of the events featured this month, from the Team Friendly Carwash (pp. 26, 34-35)—a fun way to get outside and get wet, while supporting a great cause—to HotMess Sports’ summer kickball league, which recently held its big tournament (pp. 24-25). HotMess will begin another summer season on Sunday, July 9, as a third season of volleyball kicks off at oneC1TY, and O U T A other N D A B Osports UTNASH V I L L E .CO M Nashville’s leagues, likeJULY the2017 Grizzlies, continue to

have group activities and most LGBT organizations embrace summer cookouts and pool parties as socials. Meetup groups provide other avenues for LGBT people to get outside, get active, and get together, especially in the summer. There are hiking groups, running groups, and explorer groups oriented to all kinds of people at all skill levels. One such group, the Nashville Gay Men Explorer Group, organizes events ranging from “watching a Grizzles rugby game, a walk on a greenway, trying out different restaurants, Old Hickory Damn and Locke, the Nashville Zoo, exploring Centennial Park, or even Jack Daniels Distillery or Gatlinburg.” One doesn’t have to go far from the city proper, even, to find the natural beauty of Tennessee, and that’s where the fun really begins. Nashville has some of the best hiking you’ll find in and around any city, with systems of trails for all levels of experience.

Radnor Lake, a designated conservation area, has a popular set of unpaved trails. Granier Ridge Trail is a 1.7 mile hike up and down the ridge, while the South Lake and South Cove Trails have some good, narrow, rocky climbs. For those who feel up to it, the trails join to make one large loop around the lake. For those who desire a more leisurely day, there is also a paved trail where pets and bikes are permitted! Percy Warner Park is another Nashville treasure. The park’s 868-acres include some of the Nashville area’s best trails. The Mossy Ridge Trail is a 4.5 mile loop that winds over creeks and near waterfalls: you’ll feel deep in nature here, not far from the city. Edwin Warner Park, Natchez Trace, Bells Bend Park, Harpeth River State Park … the list is nearly endless. Rivers and lakes provide ample opportunity for kayaking, canoeing and even paddle boat rentals at Percy Priest. And for those willing to venture further out, world-class rapids are just a few hours away.

PHOTOS: CODY STALLINGS

Speaking of venturing—have you been to Foster Falls, Old Fort State Park, or Montgomery Bell State Park, to name just a few nearby spots that are gorgeous settings for a day out, or a week-long excursion into nature? If not, it may just be time to put away the computers and tablets, grab some hiking boots and a tent, and rediscover the beauty of our region this beautiful summer!

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Stretching as it does over many hundreds of miles from east to west, Tennessee is a very geographically diverse state with many options for outdoor activities, from hiking the Smokies in East Tennessee or the waterfalls of Middle Tennessee to spelunking in the many caves of the Cumberland and elsewhere.

enjoy … it is one of the few spaces I’ve been to where it really does not matter what walk of life you come from, you’re met with open arms from the guests and the staff.” Many other patrons second that opinion, though a common gripe is that food service is timely and makes little allowances for being late—poor things.

Tennessee also hosts two well-known, specifically gay camping facilities—longtime O&AN advertiser Timberfell Lodge, as well as Whispering Oak Retreats. Both are menonly and clothing optional, for those who literally cannot get enough sun on their bodies.

Whispering Oaks (mywhisperingoaks.org) is a Middle Tennessee campground located one-and-a-half hours southwest of Nashville near Mount Pleasant, Tennessee. Whispering Oaks is a private membership resort—but the annual fee is only $10 so don’t let that deter you! The camp sits on top of a mountain with over 400 acres of trees, streams and hiking trails. Amenities include a heated pool, hot tub, recreation center, common showers and restrooms, two bunk houses, cabins, and a commercial kitchen for groups and special events.

Located at 2240 Van Hill Road in Greeneville, Tennessee, Timberfell (timberfell.com) is nestled in the state’s northeastern mountain country. Timberfell is gay camping resort and lodge featuring accommodations that include rooms, apartments, a bunk room and dining. The campground offers 30/50 amp electric and water for RVs, as well as a primitive area for tents. Other amenities include a heated swimming pool with adjoining pool house, a beer bar, bath house, redwood sauna and an eight-man hot tub. Timberfell also offers trails and a stocked fishing pond. Skip wrote of after his recent visit to Timberfell, “Spent many years vacationing at Timberfell Lodge. The thing I really

One recent reviewer of the camp, Rick, writes, “I love this place, a place to run around naked and be free. Very clean and a great place to relax, Also a great place to meet and make new friends. The staff are very friendly and welcoming. Lots of fun events. Definitely would recommend this place to anyone.” Another cites continuing improvements at the camp as a reason to keep returning.

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DEEP IN THOT AND ROLLIN BIGGER BUNTS TOP THE FIELD DERRICK LACHNEY

Our Season 10 tournament on Sunday, June 10, was a crazy one. Due to threeand-a-half of our Sundays being rained out, we decide to send all twenty teams to the playoffs with a double elimination bracket. Games were played from 10:00-6:30 p.m. on four different fields at East Park and Cleveland Park. It was brutal, but we got it done and everyone survived! The championship game was between Rollin BIGGER Bunts and Deep In THOT. For the 2nd season in a row, Deep In THOT, lead by Jason Nixon and Tim Barry, is our Champion.

PHOTOS: JAMES GRADY & HOTMESS SPORTS FACEBOOK

HotMess Volleyball Season 3 starts Sunday, July 9, at oneC1TY!

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TEAM FRIENDLY’S ANNUAL MODEL AUCTION RETURNS

The group hosts regular events, such from beer busts to awareness-raising educational sessions, in the community around Nashville and across the state. They attend nearly every Pride festival in the region. These are all opportunities for the group to display its signature smiley face prominently and spark conversations about HIV, creating opportunities to share and educate. The group’s fundraising supports these activities, and Team Friendly Tennessee has developed some creative, entertaining, and interactive ways to raise funds, from last month’s “nearly naked” car wash to this month’s Third Annual Friendly Stigma Model Auction, to be held at Stirrup on July 23, 2017. This event combines the groups activism and education mission, while putting the fun in fundraising. An assembled group of models of all body types will be escorted through a packed crowd at Stirrup. For a modest donation, audience members can write words used to stigmatize people with HIV on the bodies of these models. This exercise raises awareness about how words such as clean, disease free, DDF, neg4neg only, dirty, and tainted are all used to stigmatize those living with HIV. The models will then be auctioned off, and the highest bidder for each

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model will have the opportunity to literally wash away the stigma. It’s a truly hands-on exercise in symbolism, and might be a tad exciting for those involved. As Team Friendly Tennessee leader Stephen Bloodworth said, “The purpose of the event is to raise awareness of those words that add to the stigma of HIV, and how the casual, or intentional, use of these words helps embed that stigma… Stigma is a barrier that discourages people to get tested. This event is meant to be a fun and friendly opportunity to help fight that.” Last year’s auction, which included an all-you-can-eat barbecue and beer bust, raised nearly $2,000! All money raised at this event help Team Friendly Tennessee travel across the state and to purchase and distribute merchandise that helps fight stigma in friendly ways. Team Friendly Tennessee is currently working to obtain its 501c3 nonprofit status. To get involved contact teamfriendlytennessee@gmail.com.

PHOTOS: STEPHEN BLOODWORTH

JAMES GRADY

Team Friendly Tennessee is our local branch of an organization dedicated to eradicating HIV stigma, through face-to-face activism. Mr Friendly is an international, yet grassroots movement to reduce the stigma of HIV, encourage testing for HIV, and improve the quality of life for those living with HIV in friendly ways.

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SONGS OF A MAMA BEAR AN INTERVIEW WITH GRETCHEN PETERS ERIC PATTON

Gretchen Peters is about as big a songwriter in this town as you can find. After moving here in the late 1980’s, she quickly scored her first number one with George Strait, “The Chill of an Early Fall.” After a little more time, she penned songs for Patty Loveless, Bryan Adams, Shania Twain and many more. Her most iconic hit, “Independence Day,” landed her a Grammy nomination and won the CMA Song of the Year. Lately, Peters has been making the political rounds as a fierce advocate for the trans community. She’s also come up in my twitter feed on more than a couple of occasions for tweeting about how to persist and resist the sitting president. Her feed reads like something out of Kelly Conway’s worst nightmares. I was curious to know what had turned this cis-gender white Nashville singer songwriter so ferociously politically active, and especially on behalf of the trans community? Well, like many allies, she loved one of us. “My son is trans. The activism comes from having a deep understanding of him and a deep of understanding of being the parent of a trans person,” Peters explained. “It’s one of those things that happens when you’re a parent and you realize your child is now going to be your teacher. I really needed him to tell me who he was and how to love him, support him. I also feel for trans parents who, like me, were just blindsided by it. I grew up, the first forty years of my life, I never knew that it was possible to even be transgender. It was never on my radar.” Her now 33-year-old son, James, came out in 2010. Her life has been completely and forever changed. “When he came out, it was earth shattering to me at first,” she admitted, “and it turned out to be the most beautiful journey I could have ever taken... He’s the bravest, most beautiful soul I know. I’m so moved by his courage and being so true to himself. Just damn the consequences. Just the whole thing was so profoundly moving to me. It made us much closer.” Then she added, “And I’m a f**king mama bear. Do not mess with my son, or any trans people. I know what they’ve gone through to come out. I don’t know that I would have had the courage to come out. I’m very protective and feel that way 28

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about all trans people. ‘Let me mother you!’” she concluded, giving an air hug to the trans community. In any journey like this, you have a learning curve. But Peters learned fast that none of this was about her—it was about her son. “My son was fantastic. He kind of took my hand and led me through everything I needed to know. One of the reasons we’re so close is I really see him as a man. He is a man,” she affirmed. “I think a lot of people think acceptance means your child wants to be another gender or whatever, but the thing is, what people really need to understand about trans people is, that’s who they are. That’s who they’ve always been.” Peters also told me how excited she was to see not just her genre, but so much of the country try and move forward, but also expressed her deep anger for where we are as a country now. “I tell my son, when he gets down, to look how far we’ve come in a short time. Obviously, the setbacks really hurt… On the whole, I feel really encouraged. But since November, I’ve been really depressed and angry, anywhere on that scale, somewhere in between the two. I’m more outraged than angry, but I’m fighting.” I interrupted her and asked her “How are you fighting?” “God… How am I not fighting? I’m donating a lot of money to ACLU, Planned Parenthood, Transgender Law Center, Southern Poverty Law Center… you name it. I’m also focused on certain political races. I think we have to focus on small elections. I use my Twitter platform… I think being silent would be morally questionable at this point. My Twitter kind

of went from ninety percent music and ten percent politics to completely the opposite. I hope to be able to get back to music at some point, but right now, this is just too important. This is a real moment of truth.” I asked her what was the one thing she wanted to tell the transgender community during this time. “I’ve got your back. There are people out there, allies like me, and I want to be of service. I know firsthand how difficult and scary this is. I think in one way, witnessing is a really powerful act… I think I can reach out to parents,” she explained. “If a transkid comes out and his or her parents can see a way to supporting them, they stand a hell of a lot better chance... The suicide rate is already ridiculously high, but if there’s not a supportive family there, it becomes a dangerous situation.” “If I can reach other parents, I feel like that give the trans kid a little better chance of making it... That’s why I wrote for HuffPost,” she added. “I’m just a cis-gender straight white woman who’s not threatening to anyone, not lashing out. I am empathetic to those parents. It is hard, but you have to get on board. This is about your kid, it’s not about you. That’s something I know how to do.” You can learn more about Peters, her music and upcoming shows at gretchenpeters.com. Follow her on Twitter @gretchenpeters.

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PERFORMING ARTS

REAL ESTATE

DENTAL SERVICES

Nashville Repertory Theater 161 Rains Avenue Nashville, TN 37203 615-244-4878 | nashvillerep.org

Kate Nelson, Realtor, VILLAGE REALESTATE 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-383-6964 | realestatewithkate.com

Nashville Symphony Schermerhorn Symphony Center One Symphony Place Nashville, TN 37201 615-687-6400 | nashvillesymphony.org

BARS & NIGHTCLUBS

East Side Smiles 7 North 10th Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-227-2400 | eastsidesmile.net OPTOMETRIST

Look East 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-928-2281 | lookeastnashville.com

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

CHIROPRACTIC SERVICES

Christopher May DC 2933 Berry Hill Drive Nashville, TN 37204 615-220-0777 | doctormay.net

Bart Durham Injury Law Office 404 James Robertson Parkway Nashville, TN 37219 615-338-6177 | bartdurham.com

Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Bradley Bullock, MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 | coolspringsinternalmedicine.com Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza 615-371-1210 Skyline Medical 615-724-0066 npspharmcay.com COUNSELING & PSYCHIATRIC HEALTH INDIVIDUAL & COUPLES THERAPY

Barbara Sanders, LCSW / John Waide,PhD,LCSW 2016- 21St Ave South | 615-414-2553 2323- 21st Ave South, Ste .401 | 615-400-5911 Nashville, TN 37212 dignitytherapynashville.com

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

PLAY Dance Bar 1519 Church Street Nashville, TN 37203 615-322-9627 | playdancebar.com Tribe 1517 Church Street Nashville, TN 37203 615-329-2912 | tribenashville.com

High Gravity Photography Mt. Juliet, TN 615-347-4515 | highgravityphotography.com

ORGANIZATIONS

John Cannon Studios 1108-C Woodland Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-496-1259 | johncannonart.com

Nashville Humane Association 213 Oceola Avenue Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-1010 | nashvillehumane.org

Papa & Roberts, PLLC, Attorney and Consultants Benjamin Papa/ Attorney & Mediator 1612 Westgate Circle. Ste 220 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-767-5900 | PapaRoberts.com

Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce P.O. Box 330971 Nashville, TN 37203 615-507-5185 | nashvillelgbtchamber.org

SPIRITUALITY Covenant of the Cross 752 Madison Square Madison, TN 37115 615-612-5040 | covenantofthecross.com

JULY 2017

2015

INDEPENDENT EYEWEAR STORE AND OPTOMETRIST IN EAST NASHVILLE WE OFFER COMPREHENSIVE EYE EXAMS AND HIGH-QUALITY, UNIQUE GLASSES. 1011 Gallatin Road • 615 / 928 2281 • LookEastNashville.com.

ESS_O&A_PrideIssue_QPV.indd @OUTANDABOUTNASH 1

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

5/5/16 11:30 AM

LOCAL SPORTS LEAGUE DRAGS IT UP AGAIN HOTMESS HITS THE STAGE TO RAISE FUNDS FOR LAUNCHPAD

As you well know, the folks over at HotMess sports barely need an excuse to get all dragged up, so when there’s an opportunity to support one of LGBT Nashville’s favorite charities, you know they’re going to go all out. June’s HotMess Drag Show at Play Dance Bar featured 26 numbers performed by HotMess players, including the HotMess Housewives and Lila McCann, who sang a moving rendition of Rise Up to close out the show. When it was all done, the group raised around $3500 for LaunchPad! Good work, guys!

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

JULY 2017

PHOTOS: CODY STALLINGS

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

SUMMER TAKES FUNDRAISING OUTSIDE TRAX HOSTS TEAM FRIENDLY’S ALMOST NAKED CARWASH

PHOTOS: AMIIN WARRICK

In the heat of summer, members of the LGBT community are prone to strip down to keep cool, and what better opportunity is there for a fundraiser than an oldfashioned carwash and cookout. Cue Team Friendly’s Nearly Naked Carwash, a now-annual event hosted at Trax. Food for the cookout and support for the event was provided by bar owner Steven Kiss, and the Music City Sisters provided nunpower for the carwash!

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

JULY 2017

Family Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner Brandon Teeftaller, APN specializing in brief therapy & medication management crisis and evening appointments available all patients welcome including adolescents and adults most insurance accepted including Medicare

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615 / 268-0319 615 / 383-6964 kjcnelson@gmail.com DIRECT

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Find Something You Want Now posting great McKay finds on Facebook & Twitter!

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

y g o l o k r Sna Mirror Mirror

DISCLAIMER: Amy Sulam is a comic, and not everyone thinks she’s as funny as she does. We condone nothing she says, particularly not if you decide to take the following seriously. It should not be taken as such.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, we can be the biggest hypocrites of them all. Now that Pride month is over, I can put down the banner I’ve been waving and type some truth. This year, Pride seems especially important. We have an administration that seems determined to take every inch of ground gained under Obama. Rights that were supposed to be ours without question are once again up for debate. Hell, even same sex adoption and foster care is back on the table in many states, because as we all know the best way to fix the overcrowded foster system is to leave as many kids unadopted as possible. It’s fine to put children into often abusive and exploitive foster homes but god forbid we let some “queers” adopt them. With all this bad stuff happening to our community it’s a good thing we, the clear victims here, aren’t a-holes to each other. Oh, wait ... That’s not necessarily true, now is it? I mean look at what makes Trump’s camp a bunch glorious a** hats. For starters they are transphobic, misogynistic, racist, not big on inclusion but super into erasure. You know, not at all like us— except... Look, we have to be honest with ourselves and admit we’ve got some raggedy shit going on here. Allow me to elaborate. There’s a special type of misogyny that is getting a lot of attention lately— gay misogyny. You read that right. It’s totally a thing. Gay misogyny is misogyny bottom line. Asking to touch a stranger’s breasts (which has happened to me many times at Play) isn’t cool. Touching someone’s privates and the audacity to take any liberties there is massively uncool. When it comes to uncool touching requests, the L’s B’s and T’s can be guilty too. But I digress. Let’s talk about racism (aka “it’s just a preference, but…”)! I’m stunned at how many people I’ve seen on gay dating apps who won’t date black men but post pro BLM stuff on Facebook. Surely a preference for not-black people isn’t the same thing as being racist, right? I’m inclined to disagree. It seems odd to me to be “cool” with people being a different race except for dating. I mean that’s basically what the “modern” Klan says about race relations: it’s okay to be friends with minorities, it’s just not okay to date them. That’s a factual statement you’re free to Google.

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

JULY 2017

When Grindr preferences start reading like a Klan Facebook page, we’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere. Yes, we ... because as members of the LGBT community we’re responsible for calling each other out. To counter misogyny and racism we have to hold each other accountable. Ageism and body shaming are also problems. Defining a person’s worth based on their weight or whether they’re on the “right” side of 30 is so very Trumpy. I know this may piss some people off, but here’s the thing: you can’t do better until you know better. Erasure is another problem. Being an a-hole to someone who’s bi because you’ve “picked a side” makes you no different than those who say being gay is a sin because you’re not born that way, you choose it. If you’re saying bisexuality is a choice, you’re agreeing with those a**holes. Shaming bi girls who date men , or emasculating bi men who date men, simply isn’t cool. Participating in bi erasure, racism, and even misogyny is also something members of the lesbian community can be guilty of, too, so stop shaking your heads. It’s gotta stop. This brings me to transphobia in our community. Seriously?! I’m flabbergasted that this actually a thing but alas… If you’re in our community and transphobic, I’m seriously gonna need you to either explain that bias rationally or walk a plank. Do I understand what it feels like to be trans? No. Do I need to in order to sympathize? No. And neither do you. Being trans is very difficult: having drama in their community rather than support is just unacceptable. Our community can work on intersectionalism. Women’s rights must mean trans women’s rights too, or we’re no better than the Trumpsters who see women as nothing more than genitalia-bearers. I’m guilty of being a hypocrite at times. We all are. What matters is whether we stay that way. I’m gonna move forward by ####ing a #### for equality tonight (doubt I’ll get to keep that line, but, ####, I loved it before he changed it). How you choose to break the cycle is up to you. We’re better than the Trump supporters. We’re better than this crossover behavior. Let’s hold each other accountable and do better.

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Bang ~ The Fabulous 4th Holiday Weekend

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July 14 – 16

Uniform Fetish Weekend / Tennessee Gryphons Deliverance 2017 August 4 – 6

Trailer Trash / Sordid Lives Weekend

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822 5th Ave South 615/ 256-1310

186 Providence Rd 731/ 424-7226

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Greensboro (NC)

5641 Highway 53 256/ 885-6563

1310 E Bessemer Ave 336/ 274-7188

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

OVER

the RAINBOW

WE WERE REBELS ONCE

We listened closely to the tales of our secret society and secret history. More than a few cried when the burden of their birthright was lifted from their shoulders by new friends who told them that they were perfectly normal, and not alone. It may be time to bring back such centers with a new type of young person in mind: The children of our opponents. That’s right, perhaps we should intentionally focus on turning the mostly heterosexual, conservative Christian-raised and -educated children of those who believe we represent everything wrong with American values and politics into strong allies. It’s low risk, high reward. We now have the opportunity to be the conversion specialists their parents most fear, and it’s a very simple strategy indeed. We will just be ourselves. No, really. You see, there will come a time for the majority of these teenagers when they will start to question what their parents believe. We all did this at one time or another. Most of us with the unrequested blessing had a far easier time in this department, but even conservative-raised kids start to look around by the college years when their parents cannot keep close tabs on them anymore. They are usually brave enough by this point to ask some really 38

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

private questions to knowledgeable types they believe they can trust. We need to be ready for that moment and not automatically lump them into the same category we reserve for those we consider a real threat at first sight. Our advantage over the advocates of the Dark Enlightenment is our kindness—our secret conversion weapon, along with our sincerity and our conviction. Kindness in this scenario means respecting the backgrounds they came from and listening compassionately to their questions, and their fears. Remember your coming out process? Multiply that fear by a factor of ten and that’s what some of these kids are going through when they begin to question the wisdom of their parents. Kindness does not mean referring to their parents or their home environment in derogatory ways. It’s about giving honest answers to questioning minds in a way you wish someone did for you at their age. Sincerity is acknowledging that we were scared of asking these questions too at one time. They need to understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a cisgender, heterosexual person with a religious-based outlook on life as long as they understand that there is nothing wrong with being queer as folk either. And they may be surprised to learn you do not turn into a progressive lesbigay robot if you choose to open your mind about certain issues. The majority of these kids will have been raised in an environment where being openly LGBTQI is considered to be just dead wrong, if not worse. They need to be taught, in a loving and patient manner, that our special gift tends to make us question many aspects of our

JULY 2017

ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

JULIE CHASE

Clandestine gay/lesbian centers were still around when I was a college student. It was where The Tribe introduced younger souls to the movement before their straight friends or a minister could talk them out of it. There wasn’t a -QI back then, at least not officially. Bisexuals were only tolerated. Trans people were considered strange at best. Open allies were few and treated with deep suspicion.

upbringing and faith, and that’s ok too. We know who we are, and we have been fighting a multi-generational culture war just to be ourselves. We will never give up this fight, nor will we fail to help others who just want to live their own lives too. Everyone has to make their individual decisions on how they need to live their own lives. Individuals may disagree, but we can disagree without being disagreeable, and can become friends in the process. That will be one of the most important life lessons we may impart upon these kids, if anything else. It all starts with chatting these kids up and choosing not to run away from what may seem like a challenge but is truly an opportunity. So, if you ever have that opportunity sometime, seize it. The best miracles in life are the ones we make ourselves. Julie Chase is the pen name for a local 40-something trans woman. A graduate of The University of the South at Sewanee, she loves butterflies, strong women and the Austrian School of Economics.

Shake it up.

Stir it up.

SINCE 1888 @OUTANDABOUTNASH

FourRosesBourbon.com

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

Be mellow. Be responsible.

O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

JULY 2017