O&AN | March 2016

BISEXUALITY AND THE LGBT COMMUNITY OUTANDABOUT NASHVILLE.COM

MARCH 2016

Nashville Council Affirms Support for Same-Sex Marriage

VOLUME 15 | ISSUE 3

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03.16

LETTER

Our cracks are showing, and I do mean that in every sense of this multiple entendre. We need only take seriously the complaints of bisexual, transgender, queer, and asexual people, and others in order to see that the movement has always been in disarray, and that too often our community is merely a loose coalition of sexual minorities with sometimes aligned, sometimes competing interests.

The LGBT community is often touted as a banner beneath which sexual minorities of all types, shapes, and varieties can come together and find mutual comfort. It’s a place we can all be safe from the harsh realities of the heteronormative forces of the society that surrounds us. It’s us against them.

So many people are so disappointed when they flee the judgmental arms of society into the welcoming bosom of the LGBT community and are met not with open arms but with more judgment.

This is the experience of many minorities with in the minority.

A few months back, O&AN featured the difficulties Nashville’s people of color face in its LGBT community. In the months since, the national news has been full of calls by members of the normative gay and lesbian communities to remove the T from LGBT. Frustrated by society’s growing—though still woefully inadequate—acceptance of transgender people, one gay man took to the online petition forum Change.org to get others to show support for this idea. “Any attempt to rationally discuss issues that gays/lesbians/bisexuals are concerned about regarding the trans movement,” he said in his anonymous interview with The Federalist, “is met with unparalleled vitriol...” Basically, he is pissed that he can’t—without challenge, or consequences— demean trans people as he would like anymore.

As we see in this month’s feature on how bisexual people experience the LGBT community

from the

EDITOR

and its members, bisexual people have been met with similar arguments, and though the biases they face are different, they are real. Bisexual men and women feel as if they are erased by the lesbian and gay community—often being told explicitly that their sexual orientation “isn’t real.”

Some of you might say, “Our community is accepting—how dare you?!” But if you’ve ever heard a gay man or lesbian answer someone’s coming out with a smirking, “Bi now, gay later,” and not reacted in shock and anger, you should rethink that. Because that cute phrase is no different than saying, “There’s no such thing as homosexuality: you’re sick and we will fix you.” I challenge you to read about the experiences of some bisexuals of our community.

It is unsurprising then that both bisexuals and transgender people have countered with “maybe we should leave” arguments. And here’s where it gets tricky: given the state of the LGBT community it might just be better for them as individuals. But it’s not better for everyone, as a group.

We are stronger in numbers, and while the bisexual community is treated as a minority within a minority, the facts are otherwise. Bisexual people count as a small group right now because they don’t figure in the equation: bisexual men especially are less likely to come out. Were the LGBT community to truly open our arms and encourage all variant expressions to come out in authenticity rather than trying to coopt people into conforming to homonormativity, out bisexual people would likely outnumber lesbian and gay people by a large margin.

As we move forward, can we embrace the true diversity of our community? Or will we use our brothers and sisters for our causes, while disrespecting them and their difference? The future of all of our rights, and the existence of our loose LGBT coalition, may well depend on it. @jamesallengrady

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LEGISLATIVE UPDATE

MODEST VICTORIES IN A DIFFICULT SESSION, CHALLENGES REMAIN CHRIS SANDERS

The 2016 legislative session has run more than half its course at this point. Sessions have gotten shorter since Republicans gained control of the General Assembly, and election years like this one are usually even a bit quicker. So where do we stand? How are we doing? The picture is mixed, but not too bad yet.

State anti-marriage equality proposals: After some preachers shouted at the members of the House Civil Justice Subcommittee and when those legislators could find no authority for state nullification of Supreme Court rulings, the Tennessee Natural Marriage Defense Act met its demise in Legislative Plaza.

Also on the ropes is what we call a caption bill on marriage. A caption bill is filed to appear innocuous while it is actually designed to be the vehicle of something else. In other words, the intent is to fill its content with something more substantive later. In this case, we knew immediately it was dropped in the bill hopper in order to become an anti-marriage equality nightmare, but it has been deferred to the last House Civil Justice Subcommittee calendar, either because the votes aren’t there or the sponsor doesn’t yet know what to put in the bill.

One proposal that is advancing, though, is HJR529 by Rep. Susan Lynn.

This resolution does NOT have the force of law, but it is designed to express the opinion of the Legislature. In this case, their opinion is that the Family Action Council of Tennessee’s lawsuits against the Williamson County and Bradley County clerks are a good way to stop marriage equality eventually. In some ways, even if it passes, the resolution is a victory for the LGBT community. It’s an admission that the Legislature couldn’t come up with a law, so they just pouted a bit.

Other discriminatory bills to watch: SB1556, the Counseling Discrimination bill by Sen. Jack Johnson, is also advancing. The bill would let counselors in private practice opt out of serving a client if the client’s goals conflict with the counselor’s sincerely held religious beliefs. Despite the denials of some legislators, we know the bill is about the LGBT community. The bill in some form is likely to pass, but it is a significant victory that Sen. Johnson amended it to require that a counselor make a referral if he or she opts out of serving a client. Other changes to the bill may emerge.

HB2414 is the destructive antitransgender student bathroom bill by Rep. Susan Lynn. But a note is in order before we talk about her bill. Rep. Bud

What’s working: These examples are all instructive. Despite the fact that many county governments and certainly our state government are beyond socially conservative, we’re not doing too badly this year. It helps that discriminatory bills are often costly or run afoul of the Constitution, federal law, or federal regulations.

But it also helps, particularly in local government, when large numbers of equality advocates show up in unity.

Most county officials around the state have no idea that there are so many LGBT people and allies who are their constituents. We need to continue to change that perception because it will filter up to the Legislature.

We can finish this legislative session with better than average results if we keep calling, emailing, and showing up. Our argument will prevail. Turn up the volume and legislators hear it even sooner. You can do that at Advancing Equality Day on the Hill on March 8. I hope we will see you there.

Photo: Jennifer Sheridan

Local resolutions: Local governments around the state have actively been considering the place of the LGBT community in our state, largely in anticipation of what the Legislature might do around the marriage issue. So let’s start there. On the negative side, Hawkins, Hickman, and Dickson Counties have recently passed resolutions urging the Legislature to do something to fight the Supreme Court’s marriage ruling. But there are many positive developments, too. In response to almost 100 people showing up at the county commission meeting in red, Rutherford County amended its resolution to remove all references to states’ rights and marriage. So many people showed up at the Washington County Commission meeting that they had to adjourn the meeting, postponing it for another day. And the Metropolitan Council of Nashville and Davidson County actually passed a pro-marriage equality resolution, thanks to Council

Member Nancy VanReece and others.

Also in local government I would note that the Franklin County School Board so far has not decided to suppress the Franklin County High School GSA. At its February meeting, the board instead decided to examine the general criteria that apply to all school clubs, and they will continue that effort at their March meeting. Considering all the hatred thrown at the GSA, I would say this is a promising development.

Hulsey announced in November that he was going to run a student bathroom bill.

Because of all the feedback he received, he decided not to. Without discussing the matter with Rep. Hulsey, Rep. Lynn decided to run one anyway. So we almost beat back the possibility of any antitransgender student bathroom legislation this year, which is a testament to the incredible response around the state. But Rep. Lynn’s bill does exist, so we will have to fight it as hard as we fought Rep. Hulsey’s bill before the session began.

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MARCH 2016

NANCY VANREECE ON HOW IT HAPPENED SO QUICKLY JOSEPH BRANT

When district 8 councilmember Nancy VanReece showed up at the Nashville and Davidson County Metro Council meeting on February 2, she had no idea her proposed marriage equality resolution would meet with a final vote by the full council.

“I’m new at this,” she told me, a little sheepishly. “It’s the first time I’ve ever filed any legislation. I had the understanding that we were going to go through committee for one meeting and then at the next meeting it would go for a vote.” She figured there was at least two weeks available to speak to any fellow councilmember concerns and coordinate efforts with the Tennessee Equality Project (TEP) to pack the next meeting, similar to what we’ve seen in various other Tennessee counties this session.

By the end of the night, the resolution had passed, making Davidson County the only one in all of Tennessee to identify its support for marriage equality. TEP reports that at least fifteen counties have either passed or are considering resolutions that request the TN legislature to somehow void the Supreme Court’s June 2015 marriage equality ruling.

“We were all seeing what the TN legislature was doing,” VanReece said, “trying to write legislation that would encourage county clerks to not obey the Supreme Court ruling. The TEP had been doing some amazing grassroots work to let people know what was happening, when it was happening, to let folks know the weight of what was happening.”

Given the increasing pitch of the antiLGBT backlash across the state, VanReece felt compelled to act. “As a newly elected councilperson for a district in Davidson County, my first focus is always on my district,” she said, “but at the same time I’m fully aware as the first out lesbian elected to a legislative body in the state of Tennessee that I clearly was the person in the room that needed to do something.”

“It felt extremely important,” she said. “So my first call was to fellow Councilmember Brett Withers to let him know that I had filed a resolution so that he would have the opportunity to sign on to it. There was, I guess, about a dozen folks that were able to sign on very quickly just in that first week. But I wanted to make sure that Brett knew that I was doing it because we both feel the weight of being

in the room and at the table and that there are certain responsibilities in regard to that even beyond our districts. So he said of course he would co-sign.”

According to TEP, cosponsors of the resolution included Brett Withers, Burkley Allen, Bob Mendes, Dave Rosenberg, Fabian Bedne, Michael Freeman, Mina Johnson, Scott Davis, Colby Sledge, John Cooper, and Erica Gilmore.

VanReece’s original plan was to engage TEP and its volunteer team so that, as has happened in counties around the state, every interested person could show up and voice support for marriage equality. Unbeknownst to her, though, non-binding resolutions like the one she proposed in Davidson County generally move directly from the Rules & Confirmations committee in a bundle to a ‘consent’ vote by the entire council within the same meeting. There was a potential her resolution could pass with barely any specific acknowledgment of it. But it was an evening full of surprises.

“Because in the Rules & Confirmation Committee there was one abstention it was automatically, by rule, pulled from the consent agenda,” she said, meaning the resolution would be dealt with on its own.

“Everything happens for a reason, I’ll say that. I think that it deserved to be heard so I’m actually glad what happened… in hindsight! At the time I thought I was gonna throw up because I was told that because it was being pulled that it would be heard [by the full council].”

Anticipating a two-week window, VanReece assumed she had plenty of time to engage fellow councilmembers, to answer any questions or concerns they had. Upon discovery that the resolution would be dealt that evening, she raced to ensure she had enough support.

“I started trying to count votes,” she said, “I’m like, well we have enough to win but I don’t know if we have anybody that’s gonna speak out against this. That’s what I couldn’t tell, right? I had a conversation with my neighboring councilmembers Doug Pardue and Bill Pridemore, because I really wanted the Madison districts in particular. [Note: VanReece’s district 8 is in Madison]. I knew Inglewood was okay to be with me on this, and if not I was willing to defer it if I needed to have further conversations because even though we could win I wanted to make sure that the colleagues around me knew that I

wanted to ask for their help and not just assume that it was there.”

Fortunately, each of the neighboring councilmembers offered their support for the resolution, and it was an emotional moment for her. Both Pardue and Pridemore, you may recall, voted against extending domestic partner benefits to same sex couples just last year.

“That gave me the confidence to go ahead and allow the reading,” she said, instead of deferring it to another meeting.

After a few comments from both VanReece and Withers, the council unanimously approved the resolution. A simple voice vote gave dissenting councilmembers

Photo: Chad McClarnon

DAVIDSON COUNTY’S PRO-MARRIAGE RESOLUTION

the opportunity to conveniently exit the chamber, and it is rumored there were a few who did just that. But the ones who stayed, according to VanReece, were emphatic with their support.

“What you can’t hear so much in the video [posted to YouTube] is the volume of the yes vote,” she said. “It almost made me cry, because it wasn’t just like a ‘yeah, okay.’ It wasn’t a ‘let’s get this done and I hope nobody sees me say yes on TV.’ It was a hearty yes. Afterward Vice Mayor Briley told me it was amazing. No one spoke against it, no one saw it as an opportunity to try to say something.”

Just a few days after the resolution passed, VanReece teared up during our conversation recounting the events of the evening. “I love this city,” she said next.

“My new colleagues at the council in such a short time have demonstrated friendship to me that I had only wished for.”

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FROM DOWNWARD SPIRAL TO OPTIMISTIC ACTIVISM SPOTLIGHTING COMMUNITY ACTIVIST BRADY MORRIS JAMES GRADY

Most people in the Nashville LGBT community will probably recognize Brady Morris, even if they don’t know him personally. Certainly anyone involved in HIV advocacy has probably worked with him at some level or other.

Brady’s journey as an HIV activist began with diagnosis: “Back in 2009, I had just moved to Nashville in March. I was diagnosed in July, and I had no family or friends here. The diagnosis literally stopped my life.” Making matters worse, by the time he was diagnosed he had already progressed to the stage of AIDS. “For about two years,” Brady said, “all I did was sink into deep depression— there were suicide attempts—I thought my life was over had no further purpose of meaning. Alcohol, drugs, it was years of me trying to just stay numb. It wasn’t until an acquaintance of mine who knew I was positive came to me and said, ‘I know we aren’t good friends, but I know you have been going through this. I was just diagnosed, and I don’t know what to do.

Can you help me?’”

This gave Brady a new perspective.

“That flipped the script for me,” he said.

“I knew I could use my experience to help others, and I don’t want anyone else in this community to go through and feel what I did. That motivated me to be more vocal and out about my status.”

Brady decided to study all he could about the virus that had so changed his life, and how he could work to help more people. “Even before I became positive,” he said, “I had all the knowledge: I knew how it was contracted and spread and knew how to prevent it. All it took was one drunk evening and trusting the wrong person one time, and suddenly ‘It’ll never be me’ became ‘Oh my God, that’s me.’”

Since educating himself on the complex social, legal, and political issues related to HIV, Brady has gotten involved all across Nashville. He is perhaps most widely known as one of the smiling faces of Mr. Friendly. “Steven Bloodworth approached me one night,” he recalled, “and told me about the Mr. Friendly campaign, a new face of HIV awareness trying to eradicate stigma by having one open honest conversation at a time. It resonated in my soul, and that’s how it began.”

There, Brady met Larry Frampton, a

10

long-term survivor who has been an HIV advocate for twenty-five years. “Larry took me under his wing,” Brady said, “and they talked me into going to AIDS Watch last year, where we met one-on-one with our senators and representatives in Washington, D.C., to discuss the Ryan White Care Act and how it affects those of us living with HIV and how it improves our lives. We also talk about other major concerns for the HIV community, like criminalization laws.”

After that experience, he said, “I became more up front on social media and use it to fight stigma, talk about what HIV is, and to try to advance knowledge about PREP.” He’s even been invited to begin making presentations on PREP for medical residents at St. Thomas Hospital.

He has also joined the Nashville Regional HIV Planning Council, chaired

by Frampton and Robert Adams Magee, and was recently appointed chair of outreach. Part of his role there is “creating a safe space for people who are out or not out about their status—a safe space to come together to discuss what needs are being met, and where they think their needs are not being met, so that I can bring that back to the committee….”

Brady is also active in the Tennessee AIDS Advocacy Network (TAAN), which works to modernize HIV criminalization laws. “We are trying to shape laws that are more reflective of current science,” he said, “rather than the knee jerk reactions to the HIV epidemic which spawned most of these laws. Currently being HIV positive, even as open as I am, if I had a bad breakup and someone lied and said I didn’t disclose, I could be charged with a felony and registered as a sex offender. Intent doesn’t matter, and the burden is generally on the positive person to prove they disclosed.”

Most recently, Brady has joined the board of OutCentral as member-at-large, where he’ll be involved in development and fundraising. Asked why he’d add this to an already full plate, he explained, “When I moved to Nashville, the LGBT community center seemed to have its hands in everything and was a vital part of the community…. I wanted to be part of brining the LGBT community center back to the center of the community…. I’ve talked to a few other new board members, and there is a lot of excitement and commitment, so I think it’s going to be a good year for

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MARCH 2016

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In the coming months, Brady also hopes to host an event on Church Street to help raise awareness. “At first I considered a PREP presentation at one of the bigger bars, but I saw other big cities hosting ‘party nights,’ which are less heavy than presentations. It’s a non-threatening way to help inform people that there is a safe, once-a-day pill that can help prevent the contraction of HIV!” “Just here in Nashville,” Brady said, explaining why he feels his work is so urgent, “about every month I have three or four people come to me through social media who confide that they were recently diagnosed and that they have nowhere to turn…. I know for every one that comes to me there are any number more who are too afraid. I want people to know there is no reason to be afraid with me, no reason to be ashamed. I’m here to talk and help….”

Brady’s on story illustrates why it’s so important to open up and seek help if you have discovered you are HIVpositive. “When I was first diagnosed I felt completely fine, I had no symptoms and

hadn’t been sick in forever. I was diagnosed with AIDS…. If I had caught a cold, I might have died. As of today my viral load is still undetectable…. That’s how good medications are today.”

Stigma and fear remain major barriers to getting people into treatment, and getting everyone who needs it into treatment is the key to ending the epidemic, which is why Brady works to encourage everyone to get tested: “We all have a status: it’s so important to know yours!”

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THE BLUE AND THE RED

LGBT CITIZENS TAKE SIDES IN 2016 PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY

THE BLUE In Behalf of Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton offers realistic and achievable plans for her economic proposals for financial reform. She stands for the rights of all working Americans with a vision that will allow everyone the opportunity for a real shot at their dreams. You will find no other candidate that has done their homework on everything thrown her way, especially the malicious attacks from both sides that she has endeared with guts and grace.

Clinton is the first woman with a real chance of winning the presidency, and if you say you don’t trust her, then you ignore our culture on criticizing women in public life. Women that exude depth of experience and walk a unique path as a woman, like Hilary. She has proven herself repeatedly with her experiences and has more experience of any other candidate in modern history. Hillary Clinton is my choice and is my vision for a better America! – Jeffery Humble In Behalf of Bernie Sanders I wholeheartedly endorse and support Senator Bernie Sanders because

he is the most authentic candidate in the field of candidates on either side and has the bold solutions our nation needs at this time. I know he will work hard for people of all classes and backgrounds. I know his sixteen years as US Congressman and nine years as US Senator gives him the experience necessary to be President. As a gay man I was impressed by his public record of support for LGBTQ rights since 1972, before any other presidential candidate.

– Darrell Bouldin THE RED In Behalf of Jeb Bush I don’t believe in single-issue politics. I don’t believe that just because one is an evangelical Christian that one is automatically a Republican, nor that just because one is gay that one is automatically a Democrat. I believe in individual liberties, probusiness economics and in most cases, conservative positions on social issues.

I want a candidate who is good at politics with experience in government, preferably as an executive. I want a candidate who has a reasoned, intelligent and strong approach to governing who will represent our nation’s interests well at home and abroad. I want a president who represents and respects conservative American values including faith in God, individual liberties and individual achievement, therefore I cast my ballot today for former Governor Jeb Bush. – Brandon Rich In Behalf of Marco Rubio When Sen. Rubio announced his

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candidacy for president of the United States he ended by saying “Yesterday is over, and we are never going back.”

This promise resonated with me. The economy is fragile— wages are stagnant, the market continues to plummet and our national debt is soaring to $20 trillion.

ISIS reminds us that world remains very dangerous, and we need a president that will defend our country, not apologize for it. On social issues I don’t agree with Marco on everything, and I understand why younger voters would hesitate to support the Senator. But let me be clear, we are not single issue voters, and pandering to our emotions will NOT earn our support. The democrats falsely believe they have locked up the millennial vote. They are wrong.

We don’t want handouts we want hand ups. We don’t want more free stuff we want more freedom. Marco’s life story embodies the American story — a story that shows if you work hard you can go from being the son of an immigrant bar tender to a presidential candidate.

I’m proud to support Sen. Rubio and I believe he is the best candidate to lead us into a new American century. – Colten Kidwell In Behalf of Donald Trump Trump’s getting my vote because I believe what he says. I believe he loves this country and want to see it be great again. I believe his global success is largely because he knows how to work with people. Call me crazy but I believe he could unify this country. – Rusty Hackett/Raquel Redd

it’s time

to feel

better

Photos: Wikipedia

On March 1, 2016, Tennesseans will head to the polls to cast their primary ballots.

In advance of the big day, I asked LGBT voters to offer their endorsements of the candidate they would be supporting. As the elections proceed and as momentum builds, we ask all members of our community of all parties to continue to share your views with our editors at editor@outandaboutnashville.com.

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MARCH 2016

2200 21st Avenue S, Suite 406 Nashville, Tennessee 37212 615 | 301.8681

BINGHAM CUP PREPARATIONS UNDERWAY IT’S MORE THAN JUST EVENT PLANNING With just a few months to go before the Bingham Cup will arrive in Nashville, preparations by the Grizzlies, the LGBT community, and the city of Nashville are well underway to insure that this major international gay sporting event goes off without a hitch. As the host team, the Grizzlies play a central role in all that planning, but it’s also important to note that there is more to their preparations than venue negotiations and public relations.

There’s also rugby to be played!

Here are some shots featuring the Nashville Grizzlies taking the field against the Huntsville Wild Turkeys in a match held in Nashville’s own Douglas Park on February 20, 2016. Don’t miss upcoming opportunities to see the Grizzlies play as the big tournament draws closer!

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15

CHANGE IS COMING TO CHURCH STREET

PLAY AND TRIBE UNDER RENOVATION, CLYDE’S SET TO OPEN JAMES GRADY

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If you’ve been to Church Street recently, you may have noticed some changes going on, from the development of a new restaurant and bar at 1700 Church Street called Clyde’s on Church to some major renovations at staple LGBT haunts Tribe and Play Dance Bar. Clearly Nashville’s boom is being felt along its “gayest” of strips.

According to Joey Brown, of Play and Tribe, the renovations currently underway are part of the bar’s cycle of reinvestment.

“The thing is, every year we invest a little bit back into the business, but every four or five years we do major renovations. We are going to spend a little over $300,000 updating things this time, between Play and Tribe.”

Besides simply “being time” for such a major project, Brown also highlighted Nashville’s hosting of the Bingham Cup in May as part of the reason the project us being undertaken right now. “The Bingham cup is bringing people from all around the world and we just want to make sure we are on point. With the big rugby tournament coming to town, we want to show them the best we have to offer, to put Nashville’s best foot forward,” Brown explained.

So what’s happening at Play Dance Bar? One of the major changes so far is the knocking down of the wall at the end of the main bar and the bar’s extension. “With extending the main bar,” Brown explained, “we also added a bartender, and you can now stand in the lobby and see the show from there, with the wall gone.”

Additionally, “We are putting in video screens on the wall that remains in the lobby.

Ultimately we would like people to be able to see the show from other places in the

bar as well. We are also going to put lower booths in by the windows in the lobby.”

“At Play, we also are working on the floor,” Brown added, “and the booths in the dance bar needed a lot of attention. During the last renovations we hit the two bars, so this time we’ll hit that booth area.

Look for major changes at Tribe, some of which are already happening. “At Tribe, we are going to change somethings that will affect the flow of the bar,” Brown said. “We are extending the Play dressing room back into Tribe’s old offices, which we moved so that we can have ample space for pageants and more girls.”

While the changes at Play can happen in bursts, due to the two nights a week the bar is closed, Tribe is open nightly. “In Tribe we are having to do everything in steps, not only because we are open every night, but also because we have to do one thing to get to another!”

The bars owners are very excited about the new décor as well, having gone so far as to invest in custom wallpaper by an artist Christopher May DC 2933 Berry Hill Dr Nashville, TN 37204

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MARCH 2016

whose work hangs in some of the nation’s most prestigious museums. “We are getting all new floors in Tribe, new columns and new light fixtures. We are moving the DJ booth and having a little stage put in there.

We are getting all new fabric for the booths, new furniture… We are changing out our projectors and putting in new big screens!”

Overall, the renovation of the two bars is going to be about a four-month process, Brown said, including the two months they’ve already put into it. “This remodel is our big ones,” Brown said, “and we feel like a big reinvestment is important right now.”

Across Church Street, Clyde’s on Church was still under development but preparing to open, but little else is known, at the time of printing. The renovations of the property constitute a major investment by the Monen Family Restaurant Group, which operates Clyde’s on Main in Chattanooga, as well as Taco Mamacita and others.

According to a Tennessean article printed last summer, the Monens leased the space at 1700 Church St. in 2014, so two years of work have been put into the project already. Further, Tenley Mayfield, the Monens’ business manager, told the Tennessean at that time that the restaurant would open late-2015, but it does appear, according to the restaurant’s website, that Clyde’s on Church is set to open in March.

For the most part, businesses on Church view this development favorably.

Rather than viewing the new restaurant and bar as competition, they see it as a boon.

“It’s exciting,” Brown said. “From our standpoint, the more traffic there is on the street better for us. People coming down to the area and walking around just brings more attention to Church Street’s other attractions!”

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17

BISEXUALITY AND THE

LGBT COMMUNITY TERRY NAYLOR SEELEY

Rarely are the words, “I’m bi,” heard.

Whether on TV, film, or even from friends and family, it’s almost nonexistent.

Coming out as gay is thought to be brave; a pivotal moment in someone’s life. Coming out as bi, however, is often met with rolled eyes, being viewed as a sexual object, and even with the chant, “Bi now, gay later.” Being bisexual isn’t heralded as brave: it is often treated as if it isn’t even a real thing!

Many well-known blogs have used the purple analogy to explain bisexuality. Purple is known as its own color and not half red, half blue. There are even several shades of purple, some with more red or some with more blue.

The same exists in bisexuality, where attraction can be fluid. Some can be hetero- or homo-romantic (meaning that, when it comes to establishing romantic relationships they are primarily attracted to members of the opposite sex, or same sex, respectively) but do enjoy physical, sexual contact with someone of different sex than their partner. Some can be polyamorous and even cohabitate with both sexes. And others decide on their romantic and sexual partners freely, a person to person decision based on what about the individual might tickles their fancy.

While bisexuality, on the surface, should be welcomed as yet another beautiful way of living—loving hearts and not part, if you will—bisexuality is often viewed in a not so great light or simply swept under the rug by both the straight and broader lesbian and gay communities.

I asked men and women who identify as bisexual to help us take a look at what it means to be a shade of purple in the big world of pink and blue.

It should be noted, and of some concern, that most did not want to be identified by full name, or to use a photograph, in order to avoid judgment from one community,

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MARCH 2016

the other, or both, or even because of the risk of losing their jobs and family.

Being Bi

Sorting through the responses to our questions on bisexuality, early feelings of attraction for both sexes was a common theme. Most relate it to the same feelings as straight or gay people face. “I’ve known I was bisexual since I was very little.” Emma Frye stated. “I realized I was not attracted solely to one sex as early as I understood attraction.

Most people know they’re straight or gay early in life; I was the same with bisexuality” Some state that they did not recognize their feelings as bisexual, or perhaps did not know there was a name for it, like Lish Rodriquez: “I didn’t know about bisexuality—I just knew that I liked those people. As I grew older and the media picked up more stories about homosexuality and the AIDS/HIV epidemic, it gave me the word ‘bisexual’ to identify with.”

What comes up also, is the difference in fluidity. The majority of respondents were in an opposite-sex marriage, and thus present outwardly to the wider world as heterosexual. Out of those people, many refer to themselves as “swingers.” This is a way for them to explore their bisexuality, with or without their spouses’ involvement, while keeping their marriage and families intact.

Taking the “B” out of “LGBT”

Despite its banner of open acceptance, there is a great deal of question in the wider lesbian and gay community about the status of the “B,” and just as some have called for the expulsion of the transgender community from LGBT, others are calling for the removal of the “B”.

One tumblr blog, “Unpopular

Opinions,” states, “I think we should take the B out of LGBT. Bisexuals have it way better than most of us in the queer community. They have straight privilege and ride on the coattails of the gay community.”

Turns out, just as in the transgender community some agree for very different reasons, some bisexuals likewise argue that this just might be a good idea. Recently a YouTuber known as BisexualRealTalk called for the “B” to be taken out of “LGBT.” He concluded that a bisexual looking for support in the LGBT community was ultimately going to be questioned more, be left with a greater sense of uncertainty, and come away with a deeper sense of being alone.

“Expectation kills,” he says. “The LGBT community is not our friend” In fact, a major Canadian study published by the San Francisco Human Rights Commission in 2010 called “Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations,” found bisexual men

to are 6.3 times more likely, and bisexual women 5.9 times more likely, to report having been suicidal than heterosexual people. Bisexuals are also 3-5 times more likely to fee’ suicidal than gay men and lesbians.

The majority of those we surveyed also felt discrimination from the LGBT community. Rae Schomburg-Hall states, “I receive scorn from most lesbians as they feel I should ‘pick a side’ and I must just need to ‘make up my mind.’”

She feels she is seen as “a confused individual. An oversexed person, just looking for fulfillment. Not to be trusted.

An interloper. This, coming from a community that heralds inclusion and acceptance is just…just…wrong.”

Views and Perceptions

Reading through blogs and articles mentioning bisexuality, it doesn’t take long to find the words “greedy,” “whore,” or “slut” being heaped upon bisexuals individually or as a group. Belief that

bisexuals, regardless of the evidence, aren’t actually, or can’t be, monogamous is another common attitude.

“There are definitely people who think being bisexual means the exact opposite of monogamous, which is kind of hilarious” answers one of our participants. “I think people’s sexuality is so personal, and it varies from person to person. Not all of us sleep with everyone, just because we can, although I have had close friends say that I was a whore or a slut because I dated both ‘sides’ from my pool of friends as a young adult” R.J. Aquiar, YouTube’s “NotAdam,” has a series he calls “Ask a Bi Guy,” where he addresses many of the perceptions and attempts to use his personal experience to change the attitudes on bisexuality.

In response to our questions, he wrote, “There are still so many people out there who can’t accept our identity as valid.

They’re so adamant about sticking to their existing world view, so they’ll look

for any reason to dismiss us rather than accept this new information that might require them to change their world view.

That doesn’t necessarily make them bad people, since it’s human nature to do that.

And it’s even more understandable when you look at how much society enforces that gay/straight binary. Most people would, for instance, refer to a male/ male or female/female couple as a ‘gay couple’ rather than a ‘same-sex couple’ while a male/female couple is most often referred to as a ‘straight couple’. If you know what to look for, there’s bi-erasure all over the place. This can make it really difficult for a bi person to consider coming out, since it means having to face all of that adversity head on.”

Men vs Women

Attitudes men versus women concerning bisexuality certainly differ.

It is often said that women have it “easier” being bi. The acceptance of a bisexual woman actually involves @O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H

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MARCH 2016

I receive scorn from most lesbians as they feel I should ‘pick a side’ and I must just need to ‘make up my mind.’”

Schomburg-Hall feels she is seen as “a confused individual. An oversexed person, just looking for fulfillment. Not to be trusted. An interloper. This,

oversexualizing her. When a woman says she is bi, many men would jump at what they think is a sure-fire way into a threesome. Very rarely is she viewed as a potential monogamous partner.

And if she comes out to a potential same sex partner? She is often not taken seriously. There is a fear she will want to return to a heterosexual fantasy of husbands, children, and white pickett fences in the suburbs. After all, bisexuals are always viewed as having the potential for passing in straight society as an option. One lesbian told us “I’m scared I’ll be hurt by bisexual women, so I won’t mess with them at all”.

Bisexual men do face a different demon, and because of it very few men will ever come out as bi. Cooper S Beckett—author of “My Life on the Swingset” and “A Life Less Monogamous”—offers personal insight on this. There is “the immediate assumption that I was gay and kidding myself. I’ve been told it was a phase as well. Straight men don’t like bi men, because they’re afraid of another man coming along and treating them the way they’ve traditionally treated women, as someone you could cajole into doing something. They’re worried about being cajoled into ‘gay sex.’ I’ve been told to my face by a gay man that I’m not bi, I’m just on the road to gay town. It’s shocking and sad. But I think acceptance is growing.”

Finding a Tribe There

are

plenty

of

online

communities to join. Binetusa.org and shybi.com are places to discuss the unique challenges and obstacles bisexuals face. Bisexual.org has a fantastic library of articles, discussions, and even lists famous people you might not have known were bi. In your local community, look at meetup.org to find bisexual or bisexual friendly meet ups.

It is much easier to research within the bisexual community than to look in the LGBT community. It is most important to fight for your rights and support others who are questioning or longing for understanding.

“A lot of LGBT experts call bi people ‘the silent majority’, since there are likely a lot more bi people out there who would rather hide than come out and deal with all the stigma”, Aguair writes. “Unfortunately, the only way we can change that is for more bi people to live their lives openly, and demonstrate firsthand how much it doesn’t have to be that big a deal. It also illustrates how important it is for bi, pan, and other sexually fluid people to come together and form a community to support one another” Pam Simmons, who has struggled with her bisexual identity for many years, wrote, “ The best advice I could give is to find someone you trust and share what you are feeling, how it is effecting you, your fears & doubts. The journey to identifying as bisexual may be a lifelong process. But that’s ok. You define you…. Nobody else. Be true to yourself. And most of all, love yourself.”

ON BI ERASURE “Bi-erasure is thing.

Even inside the LGBT community people just don’t think there’s a need to seek to include bi voices or representation. I love Nashville Pride and have been going every year for the last several years, ever since I started participating in other events in Nashville.

I say that, though, to say that the first year I went there were two large letters by the main stage: a large “L” and a large “G.” There was no “B” or “T.” I don’t believe anything was purposefully intended. I do believe, the missing letters were just easy to forget that year.

I’ve even attended support groups in recent years and heard people who identified as bi be told that they were really gay. I once sat and watched as a man who identified as bi was told by every other man in the meeting, all of whom identified as gay, that they didn’t believe in bisexuality.

- EMMA FRYE

TERRY NAYLOR SEELEY WITH HUSBAND AARON

coming from a community that heralds inclusion and acceptance is just…just…wrong.

RAE SCHOMBURG-HALL @O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H

21

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN: A ONE WO/MAN SHOW

CIDNY BULLENS’ STORY OF LIFE, LOSS, AND REBIRTH COMES TO BONGO JAMES GRADY

In the mid-1970’s a young musician named Cindy Bullens arrived in Los Angeles looking to make it big. What followed is an improbable series of events, from fateful meetings with Bob Crewe and Elton John to Cindy’s embrace of her gender identity and her transition to Cidny, via a journey through motherhood, grief, and a return to music.

Somewhere Between: A One Wo/ Man Show brings Cidney’s journey to the stage in a full multimedia experience.

The show, directed by Tanya Taylor Rubinstein and produced by Nashville’s Ken Bernstein, is premiering in Santa Fe, before coming to Nashville for a three week run at Bongo After Hours Theatre at Bongo Java on Belmont.

“The show is autobiographical,” said Cidny Bullens. “It covers my life from 1964, when I arrived in Los Angeles, to the present. There really is a flow to it, it’s about my life. The first part of the show was my rock years, hanging out with famous people and famous places.” For instance, early on we see Cindy Bullens crashing a party and “meeting Elton John…. Two days later I was on the road with him!”

The story quickly moves into its second part, with Cindy “giving all that up and starting a family.” Don’t expect this to be a lull in the story, though, as it’s actually its hook. “The meat of the show is the death of my daughter Jesse from cancer at eleven and the aftermath of that: that ultimately brought me back into the world as a musician and performer trying to help bereaved parents, getting me back into the music business and touring the world making records. This brought me to places of service in ways I would never have done otherwise,” Cidny explained.

In 1999, Bullens released Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth, recorded shortly after her daughter’s death. The album includes big names, from Bonnie Raitt to Bryan Adams, and was ultimately awarded AFIM’s Best Rock Album in 2000. Bullens followed that up with Neverland in 2001 and dream #2 in 2005, the latter featuring old friend Elton John on piano.

In 2007 Bullens would found a new musical group, The Refugees, with fellow musicians Wendy Waldman and

22

Deborah Holland.

Since then, Bullens has actively released a good deal more music, both as part of The Refugees and as an individual. Bullens’ 2010 album, Howling Trains and Barking Dogs, for instance, features a compilation of songs Bullens co-wrote in Nashville while living here in the early 1990s.

“I lived in Nashville twice,” Bullens recalled. “I was a Nashville songwriter for many years in the 1990s, and I lived there twice in the 1990s. “I accumulated a greater number of friends in Nashville than in any other place. It’s my second home.”

Life changed significantly for Bullens in 2012, when Cindy began to transition publicly to Cidny. “I didn’t transition until later in life,” Cidny said.

“I had lived a whole life as Cindy, as a woman, and though I’ve always known I was transgender, given the time and my generation, I just lived with it. Not that I had never considered it: I did, when I was nineteen.”

So what changed after that whole lifetime? “A young friend of mine who was nineteen called to say they were

OUTANDABOUTNASHVILLE.COM

transition. It all exploded and my insides fell apart,” Bullens said, “and I knew I had to address it. It’s been a personal evolution: from the moment I was four years on I’ve always known that I was a man in a woman’s body. The show features flashbacks and stories from ages four (coming down and telling my mom I was not a girl but a boy), twelve (realizing I was getting breasts and being horrified that I’d have to live life as a woman), and nineteen (exploring sex change and realizing I couldn’t do it because of the costs and being all on my own.”

“My transition is new,” Bullens said. “It only began in the last four years and it was a revelation, if you had told me a few years before that I would have said no way. I knew my life was interesting before, but when I decided that I was indeed going to transition, I knew I had to write this show. I had had a ‘one-woman show’ in my mind for years, but once I decided to transition I knew the story arc was complete!”

The show is clearly more complicated that a one-woman or oneman show, Bullens struggled to explain.

“It is the story of a transgender person, but it’s more than that, which is why it’s a one-wo\man show.” Bullens may have transitioned as a man, but likewise, he said, “I can never not be a grandmother or a mother, so it’s complicated. It’s not a show about my transition, it’s not about my two-time Grammy-nominee status, it’s not about the birth of my children and the death of my child, which is the defining moment of my life. It’s a show about all of it, because they are all me, they are all my life.”

Somewhere Between: A One Wo/ Man Show is “lighthearted on both ends and not so lighthearted in the middle,” Bullens said. “It’s a multimedia event, with stills, videos and sound cues from my records, and I sing eight songs live that are woven into the show.” Bullens’ story will be presented by Bongo After Hours Theatre on March 18 & 19, 25 & 26, and April 1 & 2 [NOTE - April dates were added and are not reflected on original promotional material]. See bongoafterhourstheatre.com for more information.

Album cover for Bullen’s first album, Grammy-nominated Desire Wire

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CARLY RAE JEPSEN WHAT CAN’T SHE DO? ERIC PATTON

Since her mega hit, “Call Me Maybe,” Carly Rae Jepsen has had a stint on Broadway playing the title character in Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, played Frenchie in Grease:Live!, and come out with what Cosmopolitan hailed as the number one album of 2015, saying it was “joyous, relatable, and catchy to the point that your brain will temporarily contain nothing but Carly Rae lyrics after just one listen.” Carly Rae is a fascinating artist who knows how to craft good writing into good sound.

I was lucky enough to speak with her by phone the other day to talk about her recent accomplishments, as well as her upcoming show at the Cannery Ballroom on March 14. Here are some excerpts from that conversation: O&AN: What kind of sounds were you into [leading up to your career]?

CRJ: I probably had some strange tastes compared to what kids my age were listening to. I was really into what my parents were listening to which was more on the folkier side. I think some of my favorites were Sinead O’Connor, James Taylor, Van Morrison, Leonard Cohen, and Joni Mitchell. That’s what my parents were always listening to in the house growing up and I think it wasn’t until later on that I discovered Spice Girls and thought ‘Ah, it’s so pop and so different from anything my parents have shown me,’ and there was such a real joy to it that I was very attracted to.

But it wasn’t until I was 17 that I started writing… My first attempt at writing was almost journal entries put to music. I had no idea how to make a song, but I had songs and I wanted to share them. I met Ryan Stewart and we worked on that album. It was more of a passion project than anything. I was just beyond delighted when it started getting some radio play. That was before I had a label or anything, so it was just one of those incredible things….

O&AN: Wow. So it must have been really awesome having “Call Me Maybe” be your first big hit, right?

CRJ: Well, it was such a sweet surprise.

Ya know I’d been waitressing in Canada and every minimum wage job possible. I started making radio money off of *Tug of War*, and I had the cover of John Denver’s “Sunshine on My Shoulders” and then to

my surprise and delight, the song “Tug of War” got some airplay there, we got top 10 with that and the same with the song “Bucket,” which were all kind of folky pop.

I was actually able to quit my waitressing job.

If you’d have asked me then, I really thought that I had made it. All I wanted to do was make a life out of music, so I was excited to be making enough money to not be waitressing anymore. So when I got signed to an indie label in Canada, they signed me as a folky-pop artist.

I remember going in on day and saying, ‘Ok, I know you all wanted me to do this, but I’ve had a change of heart. I want to make a pop album’ I had some songs I had in mind for them, but then they said ‘Well, what about this song “Call Me Maybe”?’ I just didn’t know about it. I asked all my friends and family and it just became obvious that it stuck out. So I released it at radio and yeah, it became really exciting. I think it became top ten here before I even knew about it, and then Justin Bieber came to town and tweeted it. Then it was EVERYWHERE. It was a really strange thing because it was almost like a dream you had forgotten.

I thought it would be great to have something like that, but never dreamed it would actually happen. It was a late-in-life fairytale.

O&AN: After the success of Call Me Maybe and your KISS album, you took a turn to Broadway. You were the title character in Cinderella with Fran Drescher playing your stepmother….

CRJ: I always wanted to be a part of a big production like that. It was just one of those things that I had to say yes to, even though it was intimidating and terrifying all at once.

I met with the director and I met with Fran and had a feeling that it was going to be one of those experiences I’d never forget, so I signed myself on up, and I’ll never regret it! It was only supposed to be a 3 month run, but we ended up extending to eight months in total, I think? Yeah. Eight months I lived in New York working on that show. Man… O&AN: You released Emotion at the end of August in North America. You hadn’t released an album since 2012. Some would call that three year span taking a break. Is that what you would call it?

CRJ: I really feel like, when you say @O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H

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three years, in my mind it feels so much shorter than that. But it definitely wasn’t a break. It was more of an exploration, a time to really figure out what it was about the industry that I really wanted to hold on to and what I wanted to shake off. I had such a gift with that song “Call Me Maybe,” but it was also an undeniable challenge to come back from that and figure out what kind of music I wanted to continue making….

So I talked to my management and the label, not to take a little hiatus as to not work my ass off, but to do exactly that, to figure out what kind of album I had in me to share. So I wrote and I wrote and I wrote…

I was making sessions where there weren’t any. I was writing alone, I was writing in partnership. I was learning a lot about who I am as a writer and other strategies how to write.

Slowly but surely, I had about 150, maybe 200 ideas and probably 100 fully achieved, produced songs. It was one of those things I needed to get out of my system before I landed on the songs that you hear on the album. All this was going on while I was doing the Broadway production and living in New York. I still feel so lucky that I had that time to travel and write.

how did it feel to be playing Frenchie with the original, Didi Conn, in the production as well?

CRJ: Grease: Live! was one of those experiences you’ll never get to repeat. It was a couple months of living with these people who are all pining for this same end goal: putting on this performance.

Something that will pay major props and respect to the original yet offering some new elements to it. I think maybe what attracted me to it wasn’t necessarily the idea of a movie remake, but it being a live musical theatre production on TV. Which, if you’re going to do something that’s this kind of a classic, you’ve gotta add your own spin to it. And I’d heard incredible things about the director, Tommy Kail and his work with Hamilton and obviously a lot of successful projects, and I got excited about challenging myself in a way that I found to be scary, but mostly exciting. And I’m really glad I did it. I met a lot of incredible people in the process, Didi Conn being one of them.

She’s just my idol, she’s very very sweet, very very giving, very very talented, and, in a big way, someone that I was leaning on a lot throughout the process, because it was a new world for me, TV….

O&AN: Let’s talk about Grease: Live!

What was that experience like, and also

O&AN: What do you have to say to your listeners in Nashville who are coming

to the show at Cannery?

CRJ: I just wanna put on a party for you. The making of this album has been such a turning point, so this tour just feels like an after-celebration of that time and I work I put in for years. So if you love pop music or even if your just curious about pop music, come to our show and we’ll show you everything that we love about it and hopefully get you grooving with us.

Talking to Carly was like talking to the sweetest girl next door there has ever been.

Her album Emotion is something you need to go get now and listen to. If you love the pure pop sounds of the eighties and nineties, that of Madonna, maybe with the folksiness of Jewel, and the ability to convey a story in a pop song that isn’t just bubble gum, you’ll love emotion you get from Carly Rae Jepsen.

Carly Rae will take the stage at Cannery Ballroom March 14 at 7 PM. Tickets are available through ticketweb.com. Links are available on The Cannery Ballroom website, w w w. t h e c a n n e r y b a l l ro o m . c o m .

For the full-length interview, visit outandaboutnashville.com.

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MUSIC CITY SISTERS’ PINK PANTY PULLDOWN FUNDS RAISED SUPPORT LOCAL CAUSES This year, the Music City Sisters hosted their fourth Pink Panty Pulldown at Stirrup on February 13, 2016. The annual Valentine’s Day weekend event was first held in February 2011. Last year’s event organizer, Sister Terry Yaki, succinctly summarized the event: it is “an annual fashion show and fundraiser where we auction sexy underwear directly off the backsides of our gracious models. Once the winning bid is placed on a pair of underwear, the model steps behind a curtain and will throw you the underwear immediately. It’s all done in sisterly good taste!”

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One of the Sisters’ biggest annual fundraisers, the funds raised this year at the event will benefit the Music City Sisters General Fund, from which the Sisters make grants to local charities and provide funding for emergency situations. In recent years, the Sisters have supported Oasis Center, Launch Pad, Tennessee Transgender Justice Project, Project Uno, and many others out of that fund.

For more information on upcoming Music City Sisters events, visit facebook.com/MusicCitySisters or musiccitysisters.org.

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MARCH 2016

SNARKOLOGY: HERE IN MY CAR...

DISCLAIMER: Amy Sulam is a comic, and not everyone thinks she’s as funny as she does. We condone nothing she says, particularly not if you decide to take the following seriously. It should not be taken as such.

AMY SULAM | @Amysulam

Can anyone in Nashville drive? I mean seriously. Let me preface this by saying I’m a gnarly bad driver, but Jesus! I should be a part of a handful not a standard, and don’t even get me started on construction here. Holy $#!*!

What the hell are they building, a freaking stargate at every exit? Like, you know what Antioch needs? More ways to get it...? Uh no, it does not!

This constant game of legos backs up traffic for what seems like years. I heard 136 people move to Nashville every day.

On behalf of salty dog commuters city wide: go home! You will never make it in music, and you are just one more crap driver! Turn the U-Haul around and go back where you came from. And take the construction with you!

I would hate the other drivers, but it’s Nashville, so most of them are nice: they just suck at driving. I grew up in Memphis, and I have no shame in telling you what I have seen. Drivers who cut people off and are general a-holes are always from out of town and always rock a Shelby county plate. See, I come by it honest…

The thing that really blows my mind is the whole precipitation psychosis. What the hell? Introduce snow, rain, or, hell, even fog, and suddenly everyone forgets we are not playing street legal bumper cars! I get the meaning behind Jesus take the wheel, but you all know that was not meant to be taken literally, right? God Is not your copilot unless fully materialized, guys.

Sitting in Nashville traffic makes me day dream about flying more than I ever did as a kid...or having a tank. I value all people, but nothing will make you wish for a cannon like sitting in a parking lot on the interstate for seemingly no reason.

You get to where the traffic jam started, and it’s like, ‘’Oh, someone threw gum out the window.”

Where are they getting their licenses?

There is no way half the people are issued

a legal piece of paper by the state, not with the skills I’ve seen. It’s impossible!

Unless, of course, your driver’s license comes with a blind fold and one numb limb, I can’t figure it out.

Another thing I think that contributes to bad traffic is easy finance car places and liability insurance. The easy finance car places kill me. Seriously, you’re 18 and wait tables at Hooters: you don’t need a Corvette. That’s all we need you and your bad credit and sense of entitlement behind the wheel.

And the cheap insurance? You’re uninsurable for a reason. I don’t have a problem with people with bad judgment, I’m just trying to clear out the traffic.

You’ve made enough poor life choices, don’t get behind the wheel. I know, I’ve been making poor life choices for a while….

On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Brentwood soccer moms and their land yachts. Where the hell are you driving into exactly, Bagdad? In that size car, that’s literally the only acceptable answer. You’re too self-absorbed to drive and no one needs so many kids that they need an armored personnel carrier. Are you breeding an army?

Here’s a psychic prediction: You basic. Your life will be the same forever, so you don’t need to go anywhere. Tucker and Quill will still grow up to think they’re better than everyone else, whether or not you take them to 11 million activities.

Park that barge and jog to Vera Bradley.

I haven’t forgotten about the suburban dads and their midlife crisis sports cars and motorcycles. Look, getting old sucks.

Believe me, I know. But a little sports car won’t give you back your youth, and you were probably never cool anyway. No matter how expensive your sports coupe was, you’re still a thirsty old man driving desperation on wheels. I know it feels cool, with your work dress shirt sleeves rolled up and your toupee flapping in the breeze but, you look like an idiot and you can’t drive.

Now on to motorcycles. Basically the same rules apply: it doesn’t make you cool or a bad boy to have one. If you want to impress me with what a badass you are, tattoo your rap sheet on your face. Oh ,wait, you can’t, because you don’t have one. You’re a dentist, not in a biker gang.

“SITTING IN NASHVILLE TRAFFIC MAKES ME DAY DREAM ABOUT FLYING MORE THAN I EVER DID AS A KID...OR HAVING A TANK. I VALUE ALL PEOPLE, BUT NOTHING WILL MAKE YOU WISH FOR A CANNON LIKE SITTING IN A PARKING LOT ON THE INTERSTATE FOR SEEMINGLY NO REASON.” So park your big wheel, we don’t need you Sunday driving with no real destination other than doomed alpha male-dom. If you are an actual biker in a gang, please run over these wannabes.

Next we have the distracted driver, texting or Facebooking or GrindR-ing while driving. Nothing you have to say is that important. Put the phone down and park. You have nowhere to be that will improve humanity unless it’s a ditch.

Speaking of selfish drivers, let’s not forget the drunk driver. In the day of Uber

and Lyft, you have no excuse to drive while impaired. If you can afford to go out to a bar, you can afford to get home safe. If you drive drunk or high, let me be perfectly clear: you are the worst of the worst. As a human being you’re basically who the worst parts of the Bible are about.

If you want to hurt yourself, whatever, but when you drive impaired you take the innocent lives of others into your hands with no care for their wellbeing. You are a complete waste. Far too many people die every year in alcohol related crashes.

I feel like if a drunk driver hits and kills someone—and they live—we should get to kill them back. Like, at the scene, immediately. I’m guilty of having done it in the past, but I got my life together when I realized what an awful person I was being: I was real piece of garbage being that selfish.

Look Nashville, we’ve gotta do something about traffic. I’ve thought about slashing tires at random, but my best friend pointed out how it was illegal.

Maybe if we put down our phones, stop being so entitled, and focus on being courteous, we can make traffic better. But I think we all know that won’t happen, because we’ve got twitter to tweet at and places to get to fast. I’m buying a jet pack.

The struggle is real. @O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H

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A KIKI WITH

Did you face many hardships coming out?

You know, really I didn’t. I was always extremely artistic. My grandmother was always a big influence on me and always encouraged me to do things. She would let me cut her hair and do her makeup.

She was always so glamorous. I went to a boarding school, and I never faced bullying or anything like that. I have always been confident and didn’t care what other people perceive. I don’t care who it is and I think people respected that.

When did you start doing drag?

Omg! Honesty years ago. It was when I was working at MAC Cosmetics: we had just opened the Vegas store. We were doing this big event, and they had RuPaul come in. So I was selected to be the drag model in the MAC event. I can’t even remember what year. RuPaul helped me make up my name then and there!

Explain what drag means to you?

Drag to me is about self-expression. It’s a character or an alter ego. It creates an outlet to do things you wouldn’t typically do as yourself. People always say Kylie is the happy-go-lucky socialite of Nashville. She is a vixen, while Mykal is more conservative— like an angel.

You know the pageant world like no other: what would you say if the most

32

difficult part in pageant preparation?

The first thing is to find your focus. You need to find what you want to gain out of it.

Just truly focus on what you want and how you’re going to get there. You need to stay true to it. It’s a commitment.

What would you say is the most important category in any pageant, and why?

I would say the most important categories would be interview or question and answer.

Mostly because that is the moment to give insight into who you are and show how well you are prepared. You need to show them you are able to handle the job at hand.

However, my favorite part is evening gown, for the glitz and glamour.

What would you say is the most coveted title in the drag pageant world?

In my eyes, I would say Miss Continental. I think it is the most prestigious. It’s different for every performer though. I have always held the highest regard for that one because it is the closest to a real USA pageant.

Which would you say is more difficult to work with/for, the drag queens or the youngsters?

Hmmm, ok drag queens no. It’s always fun and on a lighter note than working with the kids or the real girls. Working with the kids, is just awesome because its more real life experience and you get to see them grow up.

The teen girls take it very seriously so it’s more intense, but you only have one shot.

You can only go to USA one time. So you have to take it seriously and capture that crown.

Being a makeup artist extraordinaire, do you find yourself clocking mugs often?

Honestly, learning makeup and being an artist, I have learned to appreciate it. We may not all appreciate the same art and that’s okay—we are all different. If we both took a sharpie and drew a heart, it would never be the exact same heart. I don’t ever clock or critique. Although I do study other girls face and see things I would do differently. We

OUTANDABOUTNASHVILLE.COM

MARCH 2016

Photos: Julius Greene

PAIGE TURNER | @PaigeTurner01

It’s a glamourous new of edition of Untucked!

This month we had a kiki with the amazingly talented Kylie Banks! She has been a wellknown figure here in the Nashville scene, known for her amazing performances and for being extremely beautiful—not only that, but she has always been such a nice girl. It’s rare to see her perform her these days due to all the traveling and working she does, but when you do she does not disappoint. Get to know everything you’ve always wanted to about this socialite, as we sit back and get untucked!

all have different faces so were not going to look the same and that’s the beauty of the art.

What is the best make up advice you could give?

Okay I’m going to say don’t teach someone how you paint your face. Do what will work for their face if you’re teaching them.

Everyone has a different face, so when you paint do what looks best on you. Second, cover your beard ladies! It’s my biggest pet peeve. Third, wash your makeup off! Don’t sleep with it on. Take care of your skin: you can’t get new skin. You’re stuck with the same skin forever.

Who would you say has been the largest supporter of your drag persona/career?

Besides me? I would honestly say it’s my

family. My family is very supportive, they have always been so open and accepting of it. They even get me dresses and other items for Kylie. They will be getting a dress for my sister for example and they will get me one too.

Which drag performer would you say has been the biggest influence on you in your drag career?

That’s so easy! Miss Erica Andrews. Here is the deal: RuPaul is the first I ever looked up to because she had this charisma and glamour about her. The only person that I have seen walk into a room and give the same presence as RuPaul was Erica. One of her best quotes I say all the time is, “Practice love, not labels.” So basically, be a happy person, be a loving person. Don’t just go off

of labels created by society.

You travel a lot: which city would you say has the best drag?

New York is very different than Nashville.

I’ve traveled to many cities in the U.S. and internationally, but I have always been proud of being from Nashville. Believe it or not Nashville has a huge reputation for having the most beautiful, polished and glam girls.

What’s your favorite song to perform?

I have so many. One of my favorites is Glamourous Life, not because of Erica

but because the song I feel defines me as a person. I just love glamour and living a luxurious lifestyle. It’s nice that it was a song Erica was really known for though: it’s like having a piece of her with me.

What is your take on RuPaul’s Drag Race? Do you think it has been a positive or negative influence?

I love the show and I love the girls. I think it’s been a great thing for drag. It’s brought it to main stream and helped it become more acceptable. Everything is going to have pros and cons, that’s life. It totally changed drag and put it on the map, so I think it’s great!

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THIS TRANSGENDER LIFE Photos: Julius Greene

APRIL VICTORIA: BEYOND ‘OUT’

BOBBI WILLIAMS

I was sitting at Ruby Tuesday’s, enthralled by the twinkle in the blue/ green eyes of the girl sitting across from me. I asked her about the electrolysis treatment she had started the previous day: “Does it hurt?”

April smiles. “Pain is different for everyone,” she says. “I didn’t find it especially painful, but then I was distracted for most of it. The woman doing it talked my ear off.”

Electrolysis is just one part of the transition process that a transwoman endures. Counseling by a therapist, Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), a trachea shave, a brow lift, and other procedures prior to Sexual Reassignment Surgery (SRS) are some of the reasons the cost of transitioning often exceeds $20,000. And those are just the medical aspects.

There are also the document changes, legally changing one’s name, and changing the name on a driver’s license—and this is only part of the problem in Tennessee, where the gender marker won’t be changed without jumping through a lot more hoops. Gay or lesbian, you ‘come out,’ but coming

out as transgender is just the first step.

If you’ve read the many online biographies of transpeople, you realize that April’s story is not uncommon, but that doesn’t diminish the impact of what she has been through. Like pain, a lot of people might experience the event causing it, but not everyone responds to it the same way.

Born in Pennsylvania into a liberal household (her father was a professor of political science), April’s family moved to Berea, Kentucky, when she was two, then to Wisconsin when she was five and to Louisville when she was eleven.

Gender questioning came very early and, by the time she was eleven, dressing in her mother’s or sister’s clothes in private was a regular practice. She was ‘caught’ once or twice, but like a lot of transpeople of her generation, she was adept at making up stories to explain it away.

“Actually, if my parents had pursued it they might have gotten me some help,” she says, “but they never quite caught on. At the most, they wondered if I might be gay.”

April tried hard to wipe away any suspicions about her sexuality. She was 19 when she married and had her first child. A few years later, after divorcing, she had two more children. “And I was a total homophobe,” she explains.

“When my daughter came out as lesbian I responded in the worst possible way; that’s something I am not at all proud of.”

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OUTANDABOUTNASHVILLE.COM

MARCH 2016

After splitting up with the mother of her second and third child, April began to face her fears. “If we’re afraid of something we come up with all kinds of reasons not to deal with it. And that’s so true of transpeople. So many, especially of our generation, have been afraid of simple things like going shopping, going out in public, contacting others like us; most of that fear isn’t real, though—it’s in our heads. And once we get outside of it, we find it wasn’t worth the trouble we went through to avoid it.”

Thus began some twenty years of April’s exploration, of living ‘single’ and letting her true identity find itself.

“I didn’t hold back,” she says, laughing.

“I went crazy.” She built a wardrobe, learned to do make-up, tested her sexuality, as well as her gender. And then she arrived at the conclusion she had known was there all along. Ten months ago she began her transition.

“Do you plan to leave ‘him’ behind?” I asked, knowing that a lot of people who transition essentially bury their former identity and start a new life in their new gender.

She shakes her head. “I have too many friends, too many good things.”

She smiles and sighs. Clearly, she is confident with her decision thus far.

She changes the subject. “One thing I’ve noticed,” she says, “is the way men and women who know me react to me... and I’m talking about straight men and straight women. The women generally accept me, they’ll ask questions and give me advice, but men… they don’t want to talk about it or get close. I think it’s that my ambiguous sexuality threatens them.

And I mean it’s ambiguous to them. I know who I am, but they are not sure who they are.”

I agree. She does know who she is.

“...most of that fear isn’t real, though—it’s in our heads.

And once we get outside of it, we find it wasn’t worth the trouble we went through to avoid it.”

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