O&AN | November 2018

Seeking Answers ON ALTERNATIVE SPIRITUAL PATHS

NOVEMBER 2018 / VOLUME 17 / ISSUE 11 FIRST ISSUE FREE - ADD’L COPIES 50¢ EACH

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GRIZZ CHICKS FALL 2018 TALENT SHOW

PHOTO: CODY TRACEY

Hosted by Tracy Ottomey at PLAY Dance Bar

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22 11.18

CONTENTS 12

DAVID ANDREWS D’ANDREWS BAKERY & CAFE

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TPAC GUARANTEES NASHVILLE A WHITE CHRISTMAS

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22

THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME

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LEARNING TO LIVE AND DATE WITH HIV TODAY

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A TASTE OF NASHVILLE

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TEAM FRIENDLY SPREADS ANTI-STIGMA MESSAGE No Pride Festival Too Big or Small

Here are some photos from their most recent adventures in Memphis and Chattanooga. If you haven’t met someone from Team Friendly Tennessee, when you see that Friendly face, stop and join in the conversation. Or check out their website at teamfriendlytennessee.org, or facebook.com/ teamfriendlytennessee.

PHOTO: STEPHEN BLOODWORTH

From Memphis to Chattanooga, from Nashville to Bowling Green Kentucky, Team Friendly Tennessee has spent this long Pride season bringing its HIV stigma-fighting conversations to the far-flung reaches of the state—and region. Chances are if you’ve been to a Pride, you’ve at least seen someone wearing one of the infinite varieties of Friendly t-shirts.

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THE STATE OF LGBTQ EQUALITY IN TENNESSEE A Look at Eight Cities in HRC’s Municipal Equality Index STAFF

Today, the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation, the educational arm of the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) civil rights organization, in partnership with the Equality Federation Institute, released its seventh annual Municipal Equality Index (MEI), assessing LGBTQ equality in 506 cities across the nation, including eight in Tennessee.

The 2017 Municipal Equality Index, the only nationwide rating system of LGBTQ inclusion in municipal law and policy, shows that cities across the country, including in Tennessee, continue to take the lead in supporting LGBTQ people and workers—even in the face of renewed attacks this year on the LGBTQ community by federal and state officials.

For LGBTQ Americans, legal protections and benefits vary widely depending on location—states and cities have markedly different laws governing discrimination. 21 states have non-discrimination laws that include protections for LGBTQ people in employment, and 20 states have laws that protect LGBTQ people from discrimination in places of public accommodation.

But cities are leading the way: since the MEI’s debut in 2012, the number of cities earning perfect scores has increased more than sevenfold, and today at least 25 million people live in cities that have more comprehensive, transgender-inclusive non-discrimination laws than their state.

“Forward-looking leaders across the U.S. are stepping up, protecting their youth from so-called ‘conversion therapy,’ increasing anti-bullying protections, ensuring transgender city employees have access to inclusive health care benefits and protecting LGBTQ people from discrimination in all areas of life,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “As we approach one of the most critical elections of our lifetimes, it is incumbent on all of us to make sure that we help elect more leaders across the nation who share this uncompromising commitment to equality for all.”

IT IS MORE THAN JUST A HOUSE.

“In this political moment, as we face unprecedented challenges to fairness, justice, and democracy at the federal level, we look to local leadership to advance equality for the LGBTQ community,” said Rebecca Isaacs, Executive Director of the Equality Federation Institute.

“Equality Federation is committed to our partnership with HRC on the Municipal Equality Index because it sets a bar that most localities want to reach.”

Other key findings from the 2018 Municipal Equality Index include: • 103 cities from states without comprehensive nondiscrimination laws protecting LGBTQ people scored above the overall nationwide average of 58 points. These cities averaged 83-point scores; 34 scored a perfect 100. Tennessee cities on the other hand average 34—far less than average.

• The national city score average increased from 57 to 58 points.

78 cities scored 100 points; 25 percent scored over 83 points; 50 percent scored over 58 points; 25 percent scored less than 36; and 15 cities scored zero points.

• Cities are protecting LGBTQ youth. 17 MEI-rated cities enacted local protections against the harmful and discredited practice of so-called “conversion therapy.”

The MEI rated 506 cities including the 50 state capitals and the 200 largest cities in the United States. It assesses each city on 49 criteria, covering citywide nondiscrimination protections, policies for municipal employees, city services, law enforcement, and city leadership’s relationship with the LGBTQ community.

This year’s report also includes two new issue briefs for policymakers: Addressing the Unique Needs of LGBTQ Older People and Working Toward a Fully-Inclusive Municipal Workplace. The full report, including detailed scorecards for every city, as well as a searchable database, is available online at www.hrc.org/mei.

The average score for cities in Tennessee is 34 out of 100 points, which falls below the national average of 58.

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CLAUDIA SANDOVAL & THE PATH TO MASTERCHEF LATINO A LETTER FROM PUERTO VALLARTA

JOSEPH BRANT

At the end of a wide and brightly lit, high-ceilinged conference center hallway inside the Hard Rock Hotel in Nuevo Vallarta, Claudia Sandoval, the Season Six winner of FOX-TV’s MasterChef, maintains a striking presence.

There is her signature red hair, of course, and a floral pattern dress that brightens up the otherwise nondescript, if bustling, concourse. But beyond that she is a bundle of energy, which— coupled with an always full-bodied laugh—is intoxicating and infectious.

We sit down in front of a large floor-to-ceiling window, a sunlit nook, where Sandoval, the only Latina to win the MasterChef competition, reveals that the win came with a great deal of responsibility. Waving a flag for Mexico to a mainstream nationwide audience (“Mexican food isn’t tacos, burritos, and enchiladas!”) forced her to appreciate the nuance of Mexican cuisine in the time since her season ended three years ago.

“When I was the one saying ‘This is the authentic way’ or ‘This is the traditional way,’ people would come up to me and say, ‘Well that’s not how my mom did it,’ or ‘It’s not how my grandma did it.’”

“I always give the example of Italy,” she says, the prepared response she uses for when critics and fans question her certainty.

“In the north of Italy and the south of Italy you have completely different foods because they were based on what was available in those regions. If you’re in the south part of Italy you’re going to have lots of seafood, but if you’re in the north then you’ll have a

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lot more egg pastas and things like that. Mexico is very much that way. Latin food is very much that way.”

“When you look at every region,” she adds, “you start to see the variety of foods that were made traditionally and why they were made based on what was available, so yes, your grandma didn’t make it that way, but your grandma isn’t from the same region of Mexico as mine. So that’s something that I almost have to educate people on as well, because we forget that.”

The Puerto Vallarta tourism board brought Sandoval to this city for the annual Vallarta Nayarit Gastronómica, a five-day culinary event which on this day was filled with young people, school children on a field trip. A lady and a young girl politely step into the chef’s line of view to catch her attention, and the mother asks if she can take a photo with her child. Sandoval immediately rushes to step in between the two, flashes a quick, sharp smile, then warmly thanks them and returns to our conversation.

Motherhood played a significant role in providing Sandoval with a character-driven identity on the reality show and, by winning, she gained the freedom to become a family focused working professional. “If you watched my season, you remember I’m the Latina single mom who worked her butt off to get to where she was, you know? And that has not changed!” she says, erupting in laughter. “I’m still a single mom who’s working her butt off! The only difference now is that I can pick up my daughter from school every day.”

In addition to partnering with brands to develop recipes that either pair with or complement products like Coca-Cola, Target, and Disney, Sandoval announced exclusively to O&AN/O&APV that she’s working on her second cookbook, one that will regard culinary influences from multiple generations in her family history.

And since early this year, she’s been a judge on the Telemundo TV show, “MasterChef Latino.”

The show has met with overwhelming success in viewership amongst both Spanish and English speakers and, as the only MasterChef winner to ever graduate to judgeship, it is allowing Sandoval to expand her reach in both markets.

“It’s very U.S.-driven and you see the diversity because America is a melting pot,” she says, “but when you talk Mexico it’s really all Mexicans. Dominican Republic, it’s all Dominican Republic. But Latino includes Peru and Mexico and on and on and that almost becomes more difficult [to evaluate the dishes], like how do you define which one is better than the other? You’re splitting hairs, and it’s very difficult. There are nuances between the different cultures that you have to be careful with.”

“It’s a dance and it’s one that I’m willing to tango right into.

It’s amazing.”

2015

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5/5/16 11:30 AM

Directed by Joel Meriwether

Associate Producer Paul E. Painter

PRESENTS

Terrence McNally’s

Lips Together,

TeEtH ApArT

Produced with special arrangement by Dramatist’s Play Service

StArRiNg: Doug Allen Trin Blakely Phil Brady Kathleen Jaffe

PeRfOrMaNcEs:

Friday, November 30 – Sunday, December 16 Fridays / Saturdays 7:30pm | Sundays 2:30pm The Barbershop Theater 4003 Indiana Avenue, Nashville, Tennessee Ticket price $15.00 Reserved through www.eventbrite.com $18 at door Lighted parking available at 40th Street Church of Christ

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David Andrews D’Andrews Bakery & Cafe CRAIG AMMON

The Nashville LGBT Chamber received a $25,000 grant from Metro Nashville in June and a $2,500 grant from Wells Fargo in August, to grow and certify LGBT owned businesses. Each month the Chamber will highlight one of our members that already is an LGBT BE (LGBT Business Enterprise) or is in the process of getting certification. To find out more about certification, contact the Chamber.

It’s a summer Friday afternoon and downtown Nashville is bustling with tourists. A crowd of visitors has wandered into the newly opened D’Andrews Bakery & Café for a light lunch. They find seats among a few locals enjoying coffee and pastries while pecking away on their laptops.

The staff welcome their customers with warm smiles and greetings, but the first thing to grab their attention is the array of pastries set out before them in the display case.

The display reflects owner David Andrews’ vision for his bakery café — a modern bakery with a Southern sensibility. Andrews and his team delight their customers with creative twists on classic pastries that are “high-end, but approachable.” They include a Jack Daniel’s Honey Cream & Chocolate Brownie, a S’more Croissant with Milk Chocolate Mousse, and a Tiramisu éclair.

Andrews is pleased with foot traffic so far, and business is ahead of his ramp-up plan for the first few months, which is impressive since it’s based primarily on word of mouth from satisfied customers and Instagram is their only means of promotion.

The location is perfect to lure in tourists, as well as to serve as a meeting spot for locals working downtown. D’Andrews is located right next to the downtown library. Andrews says he was looking for a spot downtown and management of the Cumberland was looking for an amenity to offer their tenants. His vision for his bakery and café seemed like the perfect fit.

Andrews was born and raised in Nashville but spent thirteen years in New York, honing his skills at restaurants such as the Gotham Bar & Grill and the Kimberly Hotel. Andrews loved New York, but it was time to come home to Nashville, where he could draw upon all his experience in establishing a place of his own.

“Whenever I would come home to Nashville for holidays,” Andrews said, “I was always surprised by the lack of great bakeries.

Yes, we have our share of cookie/cupcake and donut shops, but few places to get freshly made croissants, eclairs, and brioche fruit tarts. I knew if I could find the right space, Nashville would embrace my new style of bakery.”

Andrews got involved with the Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce soon after moving back here in 2016. Lisa Howe, the former CEO, approached him about becoming a certified LGBT-owned business with the Nashville LGBT Chamber, as well as the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC).

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While Andrews doesn’t consider himself disadvantaged in any way, he is proud to have a gay-owned business, and NGLCC certification opens up opportunities in the very competitive restaurant world. It allows him to compete for the catering dollars of larger, more established businesses.

There are only a few requirements that must be met to qualify for NGLCC certification: the business must be majority owned owned, operated, managed, and controlled by an LGBT person or persons who

are either U.S. citizens or lawful permanent residents, be headquartered & formed in the U.S., and exercises independence from any non-LGBT business enterprise.

Andrews decided to invest the time in getting the NGLCC certification before the restaurant opened. He figured once they were open for business, his days would be full serving his guests. But the process was surprisingly easy and took less time than he originally thought.

“The first step is that you have to prove that you’re gay,” Andrews said, laughing. His marriage license to husband Matt Paco met that requirement. Andrews says he already had the rest of the documentation needed for the entire process, because he keeps these records in running his business. Lisa Howe reviewed his business plan and quizzed him about the business, ensuring that the bakery would meet the requirements to be LGBT certified. The time required was just a couple of hours over a couple of days.

Andrews says he’s already seeing advantages to becoming certified as an LGBTBE. For example, he’s received information about the 2019 NFL Draft that’s coming to Nashville in April. The event is expected to draw up to 25,000 out-of-town visitors, which will generate a significant number of hotel bookings and catered events, as well as throngs of hungry tourists. His LGBTBE certification provides him an advantage in competing for business coming to town.

While Andrews is looking forward to leveraging his LGBTBE certification and Nashville LGBT Chamber membership to grow his business, he knows success starts with the amazing food he offers his guests. His Number 1 rule is “we make and bake everything we sell in the shop”.

Andrews is especially proud that he makes every bun for his breakfast sandwiches and every loaf of bread for his lunch sandwiches.

He uses a versatile focaccia recipe that he has modified to fit his needs.

He also makes his own ricotta for his Tennessee Prosciutto Twist, the white chocolate decoration for his carrot cake, and the mayonnaise for all his sandwiches. He even roasts his own turkey, chicken, and roast beef: “No Boars Head in my shop,” he exclaimed.

The bakery is also becoming known as the only place downtown where you can make your own salad. “People love having the choice of what they put on their salads. They especially appreciate that we make all our own salad dressings, green goddess being my favorite”.

Having created many birthday and wedding cakes at the hotel in New York, Andrews has also started to offer his creations to eager customers. “If you can dream of a flavor, I can make it,” he said.

D’Andrews Bakery & Cafe is located at 555 Church Street, right next to the Downtown Public Library. For more information, visit dandrewsbakery.com.

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TPAC Guarantees Nashville a White Christmas Beloved Holiday Classic Comes to TPAC STAFF

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, the stage adaptation of the beloved classic film is coming to Tennessee Performing Arts Center’s Jackson Hall this holiday season. Take your loved ones out for a heart-warming celebration of Americana from November 13-18, 2018!

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas tells the story of a song-and-dance team, putting on a show in a magical Vermont inn, who fall for a stunning sister act in the process. Full of dancing, laughter and some of the most memorable songs ever written, including “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep,” “Happy Holiday,” “Sisters,” “Blue Skies,” and the unforgettable title song, Irving Berlin’s White Christmas promises to be a merry and bright experience for the entire family!

The New York Times exclaims “this cozy trip down memory lane should be put on your wish list.” And, the New York Daily News hailed Irving Berlin’s White Christmas as “a holiday card come to life.”

Irving Berlin’s White Christmas features Music and Lyrics by Irving Berlin, with Book by David Ives and Paul Blake, and is based upon the Paramount Pictures film written for the screen by Norman Krasna, Norman Panama and Melvin Frank.

This production of Irving Berlin’s White Christmas is produced by Work Light Productions. The creative team includes direction and choreography by Randy Skinner, scenic design by Anna Louizos, scenic supervision and adaptation by Kenneth Foy, lighting design by Ken Billington, and sound design by Peter Fitzgerald and Erich Bechtel. The tour is produced by agreement with R&H Theatricals, an Imagem Company.

For more information on Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, visit irvingberlinswhitechristmas.com. For tickets, visit TPAC.org.

IBWC NATIONAL TOUR COMPANY. JEREMY DANIEL PHOTOGRAPHY, 2016.

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Seeking Answers on Alternate Spiritual Paths Beyond Christianity, Many LGBT Seekers Find New Meaning JAMES GRADY

Many LGBT people feel alienated by Christianity, and it’s not difficult to reason why. In too many cases, Christianity as practiced by communities entrusted with the care of LGBT youth was the source of much of the hatred and abuse directed at those same young people.

Countless young people lost their homes, their freedom (as they were sent to “therapy”), or their lives in the name of the religion that surrounded them.

The claim to authority that Christian leaders often make over the lives and lifestyles of all humankind rings hollow to those who simply cannot believe that a divine being could be so limited and so narrow as to honor only one way of life. The repression suffered under the banner of Christianity has led many to abandon religion and/or spirituality altogether. But for others, that lingering sense that there must be more out there, that there are greater truths originating in a more expansive divine, has led them to seek answers in alternative paths.

I know … I am one of them. As a child, I felt truly alone in my little world, and as a teen I opened that world up by exploring religions and cultures far beyond the Southern Baptist Christianity that surrounded me on every side—Episcopalianism and Catholicism were friendlier, but still too narrowly focused on a story that didn’t make sense to me.

So I began reading and seeking far beyond—paganism, witchcraft, indigenous religions. I discovered a world much larger than anything I had known.

Ultimately, I veered toward something more culturally familiar— but really still just as strange to our culture. I converted to Judaism.

But I never fully turned back—I spent my religious moments delving into the Jewish mystical tradition, itself rooted in pagan religions and philosophies.

Over the years, the more I talked to my fellow LGBT Nashvillians, the more it became clear that, while my story has its own unique arc, it is much more common in theme than I would have guessed.

But it makes sense. In a Christian world, where so many of us are disenfranchised from Christian power—or forced to submit to Christian norms to participate—alternative spiritualities are liberating.

They celebrate the body, nature, pleasure, so many of the things we are taught to reject. Through this liberation, they are empowering.

Traditions of magic are empowering in even more senses— they don’t just liberate the mind, they offer people access to a direct connection to the cosmic forces that run beneath the surface of reality.

They offer their practitioners the ability to influence the world around them directly. They turn the world from a source of fear into a source of strength.

Nashville is in the buckle of the Bible Belt, so when I began exploring the local scene of what I’m calling alternative spiritualities— by which I mean paganism, witchcraft (of many varieties), and mysticism—I didn’t expect to find much.

Instead, I found a thriving subculture. Just last month, Nashville held its annual Pagan Pride Festival, an event at Two Rivers Park that saw over 1,500 people come out and celebrate. The event featured multiple workshops and classes throughout the day, and gave

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attendees the opportunity to observe, or participate in, three rituals lead by members of various traditions.

Throughout the day, as I chatted with various attendees and introduced myself as the editor of O&AN, people would identify themselves to me as gay, bi, pan, trans, and others. LGBT couples abounded, and were able to freely and openly exhibit their affection.

The atmosphere was welcoming and open.

This is a group of people who knows what it’s like to be on the outside and to need a safe place, too, and at Pagan Pride, at least, they delivered. One local pagan group even set up a “Rainbow Tent”—a refuge from the heat, and the bustle, for LGBT attendees.

The LGBT community wasn’t represented among just the visitors to Pride—many of the vendors are also part of the tribe. I had the opportunity to speak with two different local vendors, living and working in Nashville, both owned and operated by gay men.

Jeff Crawford is a former Southern Baptist minister, who was involved in writing Sunday school materials for the denomination. The more involved he became in the denomination, however, the more he struggled with being gay. Over the course of time this completely disillusioned him with the tradition. From there, he sought refuge in another Christian tradition, in which he practiced as an ex-gay minister.

Ultimately, however, he would leave that path, as well, to pursue a different spiritual path. For a while he says he lost the feeling of connection with the divine, but after embracing the silence, he was able to reconnect.

“I started feeling the presence of God again,” he explained. “I didn’t actually hear a voice, but it’s as if you do because it’s so clear.

And so I was like ‘Okay, maybe I’m not totally lost here.’”

His experience really began to change when he experienced a pastor who practiced healing touch, and who painted gods and goddesses and embraced the openness of the spiritual world. “That certainly didn’t match up with any theology I had been taught, so I got more involved and studied Reiki, energy centers, and how energy works…”

From there, Crawford studied other healing traditions, but truly discovered his calling on a trip to Peru. While traveling, he studied with a variety of Amazonian Shipibo shamans. In 2012, he was adopted into an indigenous clan of shamans and studied with his adopted father. After having a shamanic death journey, he was officially recognized by the tribe as a shaman.

Crawford’s story is at once remarkable for how far afield he traveled, as well as familiar in the sense of longing that drew him to something so different. Now, Crawford works as “Nashville’s Shaman”, practicing healing traditions, offering readings via Tarot and numerology, and teaching classes to seekers, from Reiki to Psychic Self-Defense.

The proprietors of AromaG’s Botanica took a different trajectory.

Roy and Gregory Hamilton-White run a shop catering to a number of needs and interests. Their business began as a soap-making venture, but evolved into AromaG’s which sells a number of lines of their hand-made products, as well as teas, herbs, crystals, and tools and resources of interest to practitioners of various traditions

MODEL: BENJAMIN CAMARENA GARCIA PHOTOGRAPHY: NESTOR DAMIAN FRANCO ACEVES MAKEUP: DIANA CARRASCO

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JEFF CRAWFORD

RITUAL AT THE RITUAL TREE, NASHVILLE PAGAN PRIDE 2018

of witchcraft and folk magic. And of course— aromatherapy.

Roy says he does identify as pagan, but, he clarified, “I do use the term loosely, because I do draw on many paths, pagan or other…”

Gregory, on the other hand, said, “I identified as pagan for 20 years, but when I became a Hoodoo practitioner, which uses the Bible, it got me more interested. Roy’s originally Catholic, so we started going to an Episcopal Church. I mean I believe different things at different times so we like to use the term Episcopagan.”

The two now attend the Unitarian Church when they do attend. So the trajectory is odd: Gregory was drawn nearer to Christianityadjacent from his pagan background through the medium of a folk magic tradition!

The two are long-time vendors at Pagan Pride and note that it has grown significantly, both among regional pagans but also among curious outsiders as well. “It started with a small group of people, the same people every year. People from the surrounding areas would come and it was a way to connect, and see

what the vendors provide. They always wanted the outside public to come, the curious, the questioning, kind of like [LGBT] Pride.”

AromaG’s has been hosting their own event for the last three years—the Tennessee Folk Magic Fest. Whereas Pagan Pride is focused largely on pagan and neo-pagan traditions, the Folk Magic Fest focuses on education about traditions like Hoodoo and Voodoo, Gregory’s specialty. It’s held at the shop, and workshops in the adjacent Yoga studio are led by experts in the field who are invited in. It’s much smaller than Pagan Pride— there’s even a potluck—but the educational experience is top notch, and the atmosphere is welcoming and relaxed.

Nashville Pagan Pride is like a look at what LGBT Pride was a decade or two ago. That community reflects ours in that it is marginalized, driven into the shadows by the dominant culture. As such there is much overlap, and a lot of welcome for those seekers who have been left doubly homeless. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that, even in Nashville, the choice isn’t Christianity or nothing. There’s a whole world of truthseekers out there on their own paths, some of which may call out to those without a spiritual path of their own.

There are so many other LGBT practitioners, Tarot readers, and spiritual guides, as well as LGBT friendly covens and circles in Middle Tennessee, we could never feature them all. But if you have a story about your experience with one of these, or are interested in a feature, contact the editor at jgrady@outandaboutnashville.com For more information on Nashville Pagan Pride, visit nashvillepaganprideday.net. Jeff Crawford’s website, NashvilleShaman.com offers more information about his services, and AromaG’s Botanica’s offerings can be viewed at aromagregory.com, or in the shop at 223 Donelson Pike.

For more in-depth interviews with Crawford and the proprietors of AromaG’s, see O&AN’s website!

JEFF CRAWFORD WITH YARINACOCHE COMUNIDAD 2017

ROY AND GREGORY HAMILTON WHITE WITH CHARITY PILKINTON

RAINBOW TENT AT NASHVILLE PAGAN PRIDE 2018

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NOVEMBER 2018

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OVER

the RAINBOW

B E NOT A FR A ID

JULIE CHASE | @notninahagen

I was brought up an Episcopalian. It was good training for my transition into a Wiccafriendly Jew. My first exposure to Wicca was at an Episcopal Church college—the practitioners were seminarians.

The news that my honorary pastor, the Reverend Alaina Kailyn Cobb, had fully come out of the pagan closet, therefore, did not surprise me...much.

This time last year, the chaplain of Mercy Junction Peace and Justice Centre in Chattanooga excitedly showed me a passage in the Tanakh (that’s the Old Testament for most of you) where she had found a fairly clear reference of transgender people in a good light. Alaina and I both belong to that club, and the “Queerly Spiritual” one too.

I caught up with her just a few weeks after being invited to help her celebrate a late summer pagan holiday. Raised by a Church of God minister in a very strict conservative Christian environment, Alaina was a pastor in an evangelical church before her gender transition. When she transitioned, she blogged about her experience and faith journey. Her faith helped her to understand who she really was, and to accept herself as the woman that G-d made her.

People in similar circumstances who were having their own struggles began reaching out to her, then cisgender ministers began reaching out for advice on how to deal with LGBTQ+ people too. Alaina soon accepted the inevitable and began the search for a Christian denomination that not only affirmed queer people, but also celebrated it.

Her journey led to the Progressive Christian Alliance, a “fully queer-affirming and celebrating denomination” that was originally founded as such, per Alaina. She was apprenticed to another transgender woman in ministry and was ordained last year.

Alaina says that she discovered her pagan self through her Christianity. Raised in an Evangelical Protestant background, she

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had never had the opportunity to experience other expressions of Christian worship until leaving home. Her love for Roman Catholic liturgy and tradition led her to take a closer look at where much of it came from.

“I found much inspiration in learning about the Catholic saints and practices that had been adapted from pagan tradition,” Alaina said. “That’s one beautiful thing that I have learned as I worked my way through Christianity, especially how much Roman Catholicism and, by extension, Protestant Christian worship was borrowed from pagan roots. Finding my paganism was really just finding which parts of my Christian path I wanted to connect with...I am simply embracing the beauty I find from other religions and am using that to further enjoy and celebrate the God that I worship.”

“You have to remember...what we term ‘pagan’ a lot of times are things that just are not Christian,” she further explained. “‘Pagan’ has become a negative description.

That doesn’t really work because you then group all these other traditions from other parts of the world together as bad when really they’re just different traditions... different understanding of G-d. We have something to learn from all of them.”

Before transition, her Evangelical Christian background had fully colored her opinions. The G-d she was taught to look up to was opposed to who she really was.

Alaina’s plan before transition was to just find a way to avoid a fate in Christian hell upon her death, but a very personal spiritual experience at a Church retreat started her upon a new path.

“The great irony of my existence is that I began my journey of acceptance as a woman at a men’s retreat,” Alaina began as we both chuckled. It was a last-ditch effort upon her part to rid herself of her true nature, but things did not go according to plan.

“For two days, I did almost nothing but pray. On the third day, we had a worship service...and I had an experience where I saw a bright light upon all the people around me.

NOVEMBER 2018

ILLUSTRATION: MELISSA GAY

A Christian minister’s acceptance of her LGBTQ+ blessing led her to the acceptance of her pagan side

The light stopped about a foot around me in a circle, and I wept. I cried out ‘Why? Why everyone but me?’ And then I heard a voice which said, ‘Who told you that?’ That was the change. That was what led me on the journey to accept myself and to love myself...in total acceptance and total surrender.

“When you start to believe yourself worthy of love...you find yourself lovable.

And when you start to believe those around you are worthy of love, you then find them lovable too once you decide to treat them that way. My journey to acceptance was one of faith...accepting my call was a faith journey too...My journey to accepting G-d was one of deep revelation that I was loved - as I am, as I was named, as I was intended to experience a love of G-d.”

“Any advice for those in the community who may be curious or have friends who identify with Non-Christian traditions?” I asked.

Be not afraid,” was her reply.

“There is too much misunderstanding, and not enough curiosity. People think that faith requires a certainty, but faith dies in certainty. Faith is a fish that swims in the sea of doubt. The bigger the ocean, the bigger your faith can become.”

Blessed be.

Julie Chase is the pen name for a local trans woman.

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AN

ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME

finding my way home

“I felt like I was born a long way from where I was supposed to be and I was just trying to find my way home.” - Bob Dylan, singersongwriter (also my namesake)

DYLAN DOUGHTY

Between April 3 and September 1, 2018, I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail—traversing 2,190.9 miles from Springer Mountain in Georgia to Mount Katahdin in Maine. After I finished, I bicycled 1,046 miles back down, following the East Coast Greenway and ending my journey in Richmond, Virginia, on September 25: 3,236.9 total miles of humanpowered adventure.

I’m sure you’re thinking, “Are you completely insane?!”

And, while the jury is still out on that…

I can tell you that it was simultaneously the most difficult yet rewarding thing I’ve ever done. There are many questions that I’ve gotten about my journey, but the most difficult and yet perhaps most important to answer is, “Why did you do it?”

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In order to fully answer that question, even for myself, I had to hike and bike 3,236 miles before I could really even begin to connect the dots. That’s the funny thing about life: you can rarely connect the dots looking forward, only looking back. In other words, hindsight is 20/20.

Before my journey began, back on January 19, 2018, I wrote in my personal journal, “I just want to experience the immediacy of nature and the necessity of survival within her all-encompassing reach.

To celebrate my spirit and vowing never to let my freedom or happiness be stifled by the hand of another person, ever again. I want to go. To celebrate. To heal. My spirit stirs and my fire sparks… never to be put out again.”

I first had the idea to hike the trail back in 2015. It was my first year of graduate school,

NOVEMBER 2018

so naturally I was miserable and wanted any excuse to run away from the world and spend 6 months in the woods, right?

However, due to a fateful series of events, I was unable to give this idea much further thought. While at a doctor’s appointment, my nurse found an irregularity with my heart and insisted on doing further testing and eventually referred me to a cardiologist.

A couple days later, I was diagnosed with Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM), a genetic heart disease that causes the heart muscle to grow abnormally thick and can lead to sudden cardiac arrest and, in many unfortunate cases, death. A couple months and many tests later, I went into surgery to have a Cardioverter Defibrillator implanted in my chest, in hopes of it saving my life in case I suffered a sudden cardiac arrest.

My world as I knew it was altered and my paradigm shattered. I was 23 years old and had a pacemaker/defibrillator. To say the least, I felt betrayed by my body. I didn’t know what I could or could not do anymore.

To be young yet not feel in control of one’s own body is a kind of mental hell I never want experience again.

It devastated me and made me feel helpless. But my soul never stopped craving adventure. I still felt compelled to do these things that made my spirit stir when I thought about them. It took a few years, but eventually my soul convinced my mind that my body was ready, and I decided it was time. I finally made that decision only one month before beginning the trail.

I was having a conversation with my therapist while back home in Arkansas.

She had listened to me complain about my restlessness for a while, and one day she interrupted me, saying, “Dylan, you are Julia Roberts.” I thought: Well yeah... look at my smile. And, I mean, I too think that I’m America’s Sweetheart. I just haven’t been discovered yet, but it’s only a matter of ti-...

Taco Bell into her mouth at 2:00 am, actually resonated very powerfully with me. She was absolutely right. I didn’t know how I liked my eggs. In other words, I had no clue who I was. I knew only who I needed to be and that I was able to adapt to any situation, out of necessity.

From an early age, I had to learn how to adapt in order to survive. I had lost both of my parents by the age of 15, and learned pretty quickly how to take care of myself to get through life. But now that I had made my way to early adulthood, I had absolutely no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with that survival—and it was time that I found out.

Or, as an old woman on the train to Raleigh from Richmond after I finished told me: “Just survivin’ ain’t living, child. You gotta live to even want to survive.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

To say I wasn’t ready would be an understatement. I was embarrassingly unprepared. I had no idea what I was getting into. To answer another question I get a lot, the main thing I related to in the book and movie Wild was when the main character throws her boot off a mountain, screaming “FUCK YOU BITCH!” at the top of her lungs.

Only, that feeling wasn’t a climactic point of my journey—it was

But she went on before I could finish my thoughts: “I mean that you are Julia Roberts in The Runaway Bride... you don’t know who you are. You’ve never figured out how you like your eggs. You need to know how you like your eggs before you can move on with your life. Before you can let go and become the person you are meant to be, you have to find out how you want your eggs.”

What may sound to you like the rumblings of a drunk sorority girl, funneling

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

23

my sentiment at least twice a day, every day.

It was difficult way more often than it was easy. It was trying more often than it was enjoyable. It was work more often than it was play. But then, aren’t all the truly lifechanging things?

I tend to sugar coat my reality when portraying it to others, and some people seem to think I have my shit together.

Spoiler Alert: I don’t—not at all.

Those who followed my Instagram and Facebook during this journey saw many photos of spectacular views and scenery, and probably tidbits of inspirational bullshit I sometimes spout to accompany them. Some might call this a “highlight reel” of life: I simply call it the Southern way.

However, I know that any real journey lives within the space between those highlights, the spaces where the struggle happens and the challenges test you. It is where the loneliness, the pain, the grief, the doubt, and fear sets in… where it rained for 11 days in row, preventing me from seeing any views except for the mud on the ground

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

NOVEMBER 2018

filling my shoes. It is where I sat crying in Pennsylvania because my feet hurt worse than ever before, and I kept getting lost on the supposedly best-marked trail in the world.

It was where I was forced to accept the reality of my existence and learn to accept and love myself. That space is where my journey began and where it completely changed my perspective. That space of struggle is where this journey saved my life.

This short series of columns is the story of that journey.

Check back monthly at Out & About Nashville for more from Dylan about his 3,236 mile trek.

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Nashville Humane Association 213 Oceola Avenue | Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-1010 | nashvillehumane.org

Look East (Optometrist) 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 | 615-928-2281 | lookeastnashville.com Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics Bradley Bullock, MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 | coolspringsinternalmedicine.com Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza 615-371-1210 Skyline Medical 615-724-0066 | npspharmcay.com SPIRITUALITY Holy Trinity Community Church 6727 Charlotte Pike Nashville TN 37209 | 615-352-3838 | htccnashville.com FORMING ARTS Nashville Symphony Schermerhorn Symphony Center One Symphony Place Nashville, TN 37201 615-687-6400 | nashvillesymphony.org

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LIVING & DATING WITH HIV ,

Dating In Real Life

BY JOSH ROBBINS

I’m not 19 anymore. But, when I was, I moved to New York. Back then, I used to meet guys off a phone chat line. It’s funny—and other gay guys will remember—it was like a dating app, but it was all voicemail.

You would have to decide if how the person was describing themselves seemed accurate and if their voice sounded like somebody that you would be into. Then, you would decide to meet, and all of this would be coordinated through voicemail messages.

It was exciting to meet people because there was an element of surprise: you’d finally get to see this person you imagined in your head. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. But for better or for worse, you had no way to preview who they were, no way of seeing years of Instagram photos or mutual friends. Now that social media has connected us, it feels impossible to meet somebody who isn’t six degrees of Kevin Bacon away.

Back then, if you were on a dating site, people would give you hell about it. If you met somebody online, you had to figure out the lie to tell people where you met.

My last relationship started because of a chance meeting at a bar. I’m single now, for the first time in six years, and some things have definitely changed, while others haven’t.

One thing that has changed is that people don’t seem to meet people in person anymore (except for bars—that probably won’t ever change). I tested this theory out and found that earbuds have ruined the grocery store. You can’t talk to anyone, because everyone’s got earbuds in. I tried borrowing a friend’s dog so I could chill at the dog park and meet people there, but it didn’t work. Plus, my car got really dirty.

,

So, I tried using some apps, and went on some dates, but I noticed that people’s expectations and habits have accelerated with the technology they use to communicate.

Going 0-90 I was dumped twice by people I met on apps. Before you think to yourself, “Aww, poor Josh,” you should know that I had no idea I was ‘dating’ these people. That’s how fast they were trying to move things.

Lying About Eggplant Size On these apps, the average size seems to be eight inches.

Now, we all know that that’s not the case. But because so many people lie, the situation has spiraled out of control. It’s akin to driving on the interstate. If someone’s chugging along at the speed limit and everyone else is going thirty miles an hour faster than the speed limit, they’re going to get run off the road. So, the person decides to speed, even though it’s wrong and it’s easy to get caught.

Texting 24-7 It’s a double-edged sword for me. I love the ease, convenience, and speed of texting. But the downside is – and I’ve had this happen in past relationships – you get in the habit of texting all day, and it’s super exciting during the honeymoon phase. But then you realize when you finally get to see the person that you have nothing to share. You’ve already said it all through texts.

On the very first episode of Life with Josh, I talk about wanting someone to complement my life, and my desire to complement theirs. I don’t want to become someone’s life. I certainly don’t want them to become my life. I’ve been through that.

Who Picks Up the Check?

Without handy dandy heteronormativity as a guiding principle, I get nervous that I’m not doing the right thing. Does somebody pick somebody up or do we meet there? Does it matter who invited who out? If he invited me out, is it weird for me to pick him up? And if he invited me, who pays? Should we just do Dutch?

Where Do We Go on a Date?

One of my personal rules of thumb is keeping the first date short: grabbing a drink or getting a coffee. I try to avoid having an entire meal for the first date, because what if it’s a dud after ten minutes, and now we have to wait for your salmon to arrive?

There’s only a limited number of gay-friendly establishments in Nashville. I’m not saying you always have to go to a gay-friendly establishment, but on a date I definitely feel more comfortable in at least a friendly place. The downside is, those friendly places are places that my friends are. If I go to one of my go-to bars on a date with somebody and my friends walk by, they’re going to stop and then it becomes “Oh, we’re just all hanging out.”

Dating with HIV I’m single for the first time since being diagnosed with HIV six years ago, so that brings with it some new territory. I personally don’t really feel different. I take two pills a day—that’s the extent that it affects my daily life. But some people consider HIV a deal breaker, even though—like so many others living with HIV—my viral load is undetectable, meaning there is no risk of transmission.

I have a profile on DatingPositives, which is awesome because they serve the positive community and you don’t have to deal with people blocking you or ruling you out solely because of your status. It’s a nice change of pace, because, right now, DatingPositives exists solely on the web, although rumor has it that will soon change.

They’ve modeled the site to be like they were in the good old days. There’s a bigger opportunity to share more about yourself, to create a fuller profile. It’s also not about meeting people that are ten feet from you. You can if you want to, but there’s an opportunity to see what else and who else is out there.

It leads you to people that you would never meet otherwise.

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Josh Robbins is an award winning sexual health advocate, author of the site imstilljosh.com and spokesperson for DatingPositives.com. He was nominated for a GLAAD media award in 2017 and recently won the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association’s Excellence Award in the blogging category.

213 Oceola Avenue • Nashville TN 37209 615.352.1010 • nashvillehumane.org Tuesday – Saturday 10am – 5pm Sunday 12pm – 5pm Monday CLOSED

@OUTANDABOUTNASH

1 5 Y E A R S O F LG B T N E W S

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GET A LITTLE TASTE OF NASHVILLE SUPPORT THE LGBT CHAMBER

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

NOVEMBER 2018

PHOTOS: MYL PAC, COURTESY OF THE NASHVILLE LGBT CHAMBER

JAMES GRADY

The Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce’s most popular annual fundraiser, TASTE, returns for a seventh year on Sunday, November 18, at the West Club of Nissan Stadium, which offers unparalleled views of the beautiful Nashville skyline.

Benefitting the work of the Chamber, TASTE features over 30 of Nashville’s most creative culinary and mixological talents! In addition to tasting all of the wonderful food and drinks, guests will have the opportunity to place bids on over 100 items in what is always one of LGBT Nashville’s best silent auctions, as well as to enjoy the musical stylings of one of Nashville’s best local DJs! “TASTE is the main fundraiser for the Chamber Foundation, and without it we could offer the educational opportunities the foundation focuses on,” said Joe Woolley, CEO of the Chamber. “It has not only become a premier annual event within the LGBT community, but it is, in a very crowded field of similar events, one of the top tasting and cultural events in the city.”

“Taste is unique because of the diverse array of food and beverage vendors we have, the amazing silent auction, and fun and laid-back networking vibe of the night,” Woolley, one of the original driving forces behind TASTE, continued.

“People really get something special and feel like they spent the evening talking with friends and making professional connections.”

“TASTE is my favorite event of the year, not only is it a blast but its inspirational. In my kitchen I try to instill a sense of community and acceptance,” explained Chef Kyle Patterson of Sinema Nashville. “Chefs tend to flock from all walks of life, drawn towards the creativity and expressiveness that is food. With such diversity in the kitchen, it is essential to our success as a team to practice the same openness, acceptance

and warmness that is the backbone of the LGBTQ community. Getting to be a part of that, in Nashville, and working with the LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce has led to nothing but amazing experiences.”

What more could we ask for that a superb night of drinking and dining with friends, old and new, while also fostering the mission of the main organization working to ensure that the Nashville business community has a prominent place at the table for LGBT businesses, workers, and consumers?

For more information on the even, visit tastenashville.com.

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NASHVILLE IN HARMONY SPREADS HOLIDAY CHEER Chorus Celebrates 15 Years Of Making Spirits Bright

PHOTOS: COURTESY OF NASHVILLE IN HARMONY

Nashville in Harmony, Nashville’s city chorus for people of all sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions, has announced its program and Making Spirits Bright, its 2018 holiday concert scheduled for December 4, 2018 at Langford Auditorium.

Making Spirits Bright continues Nashville in Harmony’s tradition of hosting an annual holiday performance that creates a safe and welcoming environment for patrons to celebrate their community and themselves.

This year’s concert includes a variety of well-known holiday favorites including “Jingle Bells,” “Deck

the Halls” and “All I Want for Christmas is You,” as well as a few surprises along the way. The concert will feature performances from Nashville in Harmony and Major Minors, NiH’s group for young people, ages 12-18, to be themselves without apology.

“We're designing Making Spirits Bright to get everyone in the spirit!” says Don Schlosser, Artistic Director of Nashville in Harmony. “Expect lots of energy, and sparkle. We promise to brighten your spirits as we explore an array of holiday pieces.”

This performance also celebrates the 15-year anniversary of Nashville in Harmony. The concert will feature a retrospective of the organization’s early years and testi-

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NOVEMBER 2018

monials from some of the founding members.

The role of Nashville in Harmony in the lives of many in LGBT Nashville is hard to diminish. For instance, as Lynn Putnam and Derrick Dishner said, “NIH was one of the first things we did as a couple when moving to Nashville. Joining NiH has created lasting lifelong friendships that have been invaluable to our relationship.” So the presentations and testimonials are sure to be moving.

To purchase tickets for the December 4, 2018 program, visit nashvilleinharmony. org. Tickets are $30 advance, $35 day of show.

Shake it up.

Stir it up.

SINCE 1888 @OUTANDABOUTNASH

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Be mellow. Be responsible.

TRY SOMETHING NOUVEAU. Paris 1900 brings more than 300 beautiful works from the City of Light to downtown Nashville. Enjoy art from icons such as Renoir, Toulouse-Lautrec, and Pissarro, as well as creations from Parisian hat designers to the first-ever science fiction film, A Trip To The Moon (1902) by George Méliès.

THROUGH JANUARY 6

919 Broadway, Nashville, TN 37203 FristArtMuseum.org/Paris #FristParis

Paris 1900 was organized by the Petit Palais Museum of Fine Arts, with exceptional loans from the Musée Carnavalet – History of Paris and the Palais Galliera Museum of Fashion, Paris Musées.

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PLATINUM SPONSOR

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O U T A N D A B O U T N A S H V I L L E .CO M

NOVEMBER 2018

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1864–1901). Le Divan Japonais, 1892–93. Lithograph, 31¾ x 24½ in. Musée Carnavalet. © Musée Carnavalet / Roger-Viollet