O&AN | April 2020

Contents FAX 615-246-2787 | PHONE 615-596-6210 OUTANDABOUTNASHVILLE.COM STAFF

Publisher: Jerry Jones jjones@outandaboutnashville.com Managing Editor: James Grady jgrady@outandaboutnashville.com Sales & Marketing: Cody Stallings cstallings@outandaboutnashville.com Design, Layout and Production: Saúl Santos fsdemianhades3@gmail.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Writers: Bennett Jason, Barbara Sanders, Sara Schuster, Jason Shawhan, Chris Spear Photographers: Cody Stallings Cover: Miss Dixe, photo by Matt Paco National Advertising Representative: Rivendell Media 1248 Route 22 West | Mountainside, NJ 07092 (908) 232-2021 ext. 200

CORRECTIONS

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We regret that the February LGBTQ Business Directory and Travelers’ Guide listed an incorrect phone number for Karuna Therapeutic Solutions. Their correct phone number is 615-669-6621. We apologize for the confusion.

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LEGAL

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Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan

(Be Extra-Careful of Marriage) Jason Shawhan

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Secret Level By No Mana

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Chickweed Pesto

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The Pets Issue

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The Paradox of Pets

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The Queens’ Table

Album Review Chris Spear Sara Schuster

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may not be reproduced without permission. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers and

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Barbara Sanders

tations does not necessarily indicate the sexual orientation of the person or persons. Out & About Nashville

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Vol. 6 - Mother’s Ruin

Bennett Jason

editor are encouraged but may be edited for clarity and length. There is no guarantee that letters will be pub-

O&AN Gay Guide Print Edition

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April 2020

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The Pets Issue

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan

(Be Extra-Careful of Marriage)

Jason Shawhan

Kartik Singh (Ayushmann Khurrana) and Aman “Guddu” Tripathi (Jitendra Kumar) are like lots of couples the world over. Aman is a tad high-strung but focused on keeping the balancing act of modern life going, while Kartik, the pragmatist/assimilationist who periodically asks for the intercession of superstar Amitabh Bachchan, is focused on making sure everybody is having a good time and that everyone is able to enjoy what all is happening around them.

What distinguishes them is that they’re the romantic leads in a Hindi-language film designed for a mass-market, mainstream audience, and that their being gay is not meant as something scandalous or laughable. Kartik and Aman are a recognizable couple. Even if you don’t speak Hindi and have never been out of North America, you recognize these men and how they relate to one another. In Hitesh Kewalya’s Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (Be Extra-Careful of Marriage), the gays have all the dignity, which is odd and refreshing in any comedy.

Here, Aman’s cousin Rajni (whom everyone calls Goggle for particularly cruel reasons) has finally landed a potential husband, so everyone is heading to a wedding. Initially not planning on attending, Aman and Kartik decide to go after all, when they help their friend Devika (Bhumi Pednekar) elope and have to flee a mob of people who ironically think they are pests to young women. So, it’s off to the wedding of Rajni and Ashok, with the two men keeping their relationship a secret.

Early on the film lays out its sly thesis—that the Indian economy runs on the engine of weddings. It does this without following through and saying that gay weddings would mean more money for the economy. But, let’s be honest ... people who let economics be their primary motivating factor want to think they came up with that themselves, anyway. It’s indicative of the film’s approaches to gay equality, and it will get around to all of them by the time the film is over.

(There’s an endearing/exasperating/exhausting sequence toward the very end where a character decides to throw out some haphazard legal arguments and they are very slapdash, but the film want this sequence to hit like a karate kick, and the tonal disconnect is fascinating.)

But, of course, there is conflict, and Aman’s father Shankar sees our two heroes kissing in a dramatic train car, and things get tense. Shankar Tripathi (Gajraj Rao) is a monster. His physical violence is played for somewhat exaggerated laughs (he looks like a civil servant and is in no way physically intimidating, yet he is a stubborn, emotionally and physically violent man), but his continued response to any situation he cannot control completely is to oppress everyone around him. Long before we see the horrifying way he treats his family, we see the way he is playing God with his community’s ecosystem through genetically engineering black cauliflower, supposedly resistant to worms.

Everyone in this film has some sort of physical or emotional punching bag, except for Kartik. And, as we spend time with the Tripathis, we understand why it’s happened that Aman’s punching bag is himself.

The musical numbers, by Tanishk Bagchi and Vayu, are peppy and colorful and awesome, ranging from club bangers (“Ooh La La”) to tender heartfelt ballads (“Mere Liye Tum Kaafi Ho”). Kartik’s epic dance number (“Pyaar Tenu Karda Gabru”) at the wedding of Rajni and Ashok is superb, especially because it’s a man singing a love song to another man, which is still rare enough to be enthralling and inspiring. Oh, and disco/filmi music legend Bappi Lahiri pops up in the final remix musical number!

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan has been a surprise hit at the Indian box office, which is nice, even if the Modi regime and what they’ve been doing in Delhi and to India’s Muslim population is utterly horrifying, and the film has been playing internationally to varying responses.

For U.S. audiences, especially gay ones, it’s absolutely worth seeking out. Like the recent Georgian dance drama And Then We Danced, it’s a fascinating experience to see the bullet points of the traditional gay movie narrative incorporated into a culture and a cinema with different aesthetics and objectives than we usually get. (There’s a background otter in all of the Tripathi family gathering scenes dressed in what appears to be flannel, which is never less than hysterical.)

This is a film beholden to formulae which have proven themselves over the decades and uses those to help the culture evolve. So there is a rock solid foundation here—like a better-than-average Tyler Perry movie, or if Sordid Lives were shot like a real film. This is a fun way to spend an afternoon with friends, or perhaps your special someone.

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan is streaming on Amazon Prime.

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Coming January 2021: The Second Annual Out & About Nashville LGBTQ Business Directory and Travelers Guide!

Find your copy of the 2020 Guide wherever Out & About Nashville is distributed.

Interested in advertising with O&AN? Email Sales@outandaboutnashville.com or phone (615) 596-6210 for more information. o u t a n d a b o u t n a s hv i l l e .c o m

April 2020

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The Pets Issue

Secret Level

by

No Mana Album Review

Chris Spear

A few years ago No Mana’s music popped up on my Spotify discovery, and I quickly went through his catalog to see if the rest of his music was good. I was not disappointed and have been a fan ever since. On Valentine’s day this year he released his first full album, Secret Level.

The entire album consists of progressive and electro house. Since it is essentially all the same style, it took me a little longer to get into, but once it had sunk its teeth into me, I couldn’t stop listening. It’s a great album for listening to while you are working out or dancing around the house.

The album leads off with the title track. “Secret Level,” co-written with Chipzel.

Immediately, we are greeted with No Mana’s signature 16-bit sounds echoing from side to side. Throughout, there are layers upon layers of bleeps and catchy melodies.

In January, “Strangers,” featuring Jantine, was released ahead of the album. The driving stabs compliment the vocals well, and it has a classic progressive house feel that reminds me of the early 2000s. One of my favorite tracks from the album is “Only Noise,” featuring Voicians. It has a nice heavy bass line and plenty of reverse echo vocals that accentuate the different buildups and drops.

The stuttering synths help to create “Bed of Stars,” yet another example of a solid progressive house track. The layers of echoing synths slowly build up and dissipate as each new melody is introduced, all the while looping the same vocal line, as it seeps in and out, adding to the transitions.

“Distance” is a track on the harder side of things, which has a fantastic bassline accompanied by warped synths that sound like an electrical board exploding. The buzzing bass in “Bottle Service” creates a good foundation for the chopped vocals to bounce on top of. I particularly enjoy the sound design around the percussion of this track. There are a lot of subtle build ups that add to the tension.

No Mana does a great job in creating space in “Special Move,” among the reverberating chopped up sounds and reversing basslines. “Something About You” is another driving track with a fuzzy bass to keep you dancing throughout.

“Fragile Human,” by No Mana & EDDIE, may be my favorite track on the album. The vocals, leads, and pads remind me of Kaskade’s “Move For Me” in all the right ways. “VVVR” concludes the album right with a nice balance between hard and melodic. The melody floats along with the chopped up pitched vocals until the bass comes smashing back in.

Even though a lot of the tracks have very similar feels, they are all refined and will hold up through more than a few listens. At times, I felt like some of the music was lacking, and I realized that most of these tracks are dancefloor ready and would fit well mixed with another track for lengthy periods of time. It took some time to grow on me but once it did I found myself wanting to listen to it every time I worked out or went for a walk. No Mana has a very clean production style and Secret Level is a great first album that seems like it was long overdue considering how much music he puts out on a regular basis.

Killa Chris has been DJing in Nashville since 2010. Finding good music has always been a passion of Killa Chris’s. Every week he is sharing some of the newest tracks from popular producers and unknown artists from all over the world with readers at outandaboutnashville.com.

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Secret Level by No Mana

The Pets Issue

IT IS MORE THAN JUST A HOUSE.

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April 2020

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The Pets Issue

Recipe

Chickweed Pesto Sara Schuster

As a follow-up to last month’s article on identifying and foraging spring plants from your yard, I wanted to share with you a recipe for an easy chickweed pesto. This is a seasonal favorite in our house that we’ve made time and time again! The lemon juice pairs really well with the brightness of the fresh chickweed.

As always, make sure you are 100% certain of your plant identification before eating something you forage, and that the plants weren’t sprayed with anything.

This recipe is easy to double, and I imagine it would freeze well too, though we’ve never had any leftovers here to do so with!

Ingredients 1 15oz can chickpeas, rinsed and drained 1.5 cups of fresh chickweed 3 Tbs lemon juice ½ tsp salt ½ tsp cumin 3 cloves garlic, minced ¼ cup tahini 3 Tbs olive oil (reserve 2 Tbs)

Directions 1. Place all ingredients, except for 2 Tbs of olive oil, in a food processor or high-speed blender.

2. Puree until you have a smooth consistency. You will need to stop frequently and use a spatula to scrape down the inside of the processor.

3. To get an ideal consistency, you may need to add additional liquid. A tablespoon or three of water is usually enough.

Add a spoonful at a time as needed.

4. Once you’re happy with the consistency, adjust salt as needed.

5. Put hummus into a bowl, and drizzle with the remaining olive oil. I also garnished mine with some purple dead nettle flowers. Edible flowers are such a treat!

6. Enjoy! Serve with fresh vegetables, chips, or pita bread.

This is also delicious as a spread on sandwiches.

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April 2020

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The Pets Issue

Pets The

Issue

It’s a worn-out phrase that a dog is man’s best friend.

But especially in the LGBTQ community, pets have always held a special place. When it was hard or impossible for us to adopt, we had our animal companions. When our families couldn’t be depended on, our pets were always there for us.

We love them like children and best friends, and when they’re gone, we mourn them like family.

This month, with so much else going on in the world, we decided to focus on one of our greatest comforts.

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The Pets Issue

Mariska & Lulu

Miss Dixie This month’s cover model, Miss Dixie, is something of a social media celebrity, and a favorite of all who’ve met her. Her people are Matt Paco, of Lonely Planet, and David Andrews, owner of D’Andrews Bakery.

“Miss Dixie is the sweetest little Frenchie. She adores socializing with strangers on the street. She’ll often greet the people in the dog park first before playing with other dogs,” Matt said.

“We got Miss Dixie from a breeder in Kentucky over 10 years ago when my husband David and I lived in NYC. She loves to pose in cute outfits, and she enjoys exploring and traveling–especially road trips—like when we drove from Florida to New York—as well as around Europe.”

Mariska is a Krazy Keeshond who is almost 10 years old. We call her “Po” from Kung Fu Panda because the only time she moves quickly is when you say treat…then it is on! Mariska “cowgirls” on the end of the couch and walks along the back of the couch like a big cat!

Lulu (Pomeranian) is 15 and is my wife Lisa’s best friend! At times we call her the furry suppository because she is ALWAYS up Lisa’s behind! Lulu cannot hear anymore, however has ESP if you open a “good beer”. She will not drink Miller Lite or any domestic, however give her a lil’ sip of Stella or Spaten Octoberfest…and she is perky and young again! Of course just a teaspoon! Of all things to find at an auction, I found a Shriner’s hat that said LULU, and I had to get for Lisa!

“As a media producer,” he added, “I occasionally included her in videos when I worked for MTV and LittleThings.” Be sure to check out the online version of this story to check out those videos!

These doggies know no strangers and are great with babies or elderly. These girls are our babies and are treated that way! We have two daughters, but we actually have 4 gals!

From Angi Duke-Melendez

Mariah, Stella, Dorrie and Henry Here are the four rescues we adopted: Mariah, Stella, Dorrie and our little boy...Henry. They are great little people, different in some ways but great.

From Francine Antonacci

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April 2020

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The Pets Issue

Harley SueEllen Noelle

SueEllen Noelle, born September 11, 2012, came into the life of my partner and I, on Christmas Eve of that same year. A dear friend, Linda, who knew we were going back and forth about getting a dog, brought her to us as a Christmas gift.

There was a knock at the door that Christmas Eve night, and upon opening the door, we found a large cardboard box, but no one around. Written on top of the box was a message that read: Santa told me that the guys that live here would give me a great home, and love me, spoiling me beyond belief.

When we opened the box, our little girl of 2 pounds, wrapped in a yellow fleece blanket with a bone pattern, was waiting to be scooped up.

Today, at 7 ½ years old, and a whopping 6 pound, SueEllen—named for the Dallas character SueEllen Ewing (A gay man’s dream!), with Noelle being her middle name, due to her arriving at Christmas time—rules the roost here in Lebanon! She has brought so much joy and companionship to our home. And, as the daughter of two gay men, she wants for nothing. She is greatly loved.

This is Harley. I took this picture of him in an alley in East Nashville two days after we survived the tornado by huddling in the bathroom with my girlfriend while it destroyed the front of our house and dropped trees on the roof. When we went to the bathroom to take cover, he was so scared, because he thought he was getting a bath in the middle of the night, and jumped straight in the bathtub and started shivering. He really hates baths.

After it was over and we had to evacuate, he was so brave and jumped over lots of trees and downed power lines to follow us to safety. He was even really nice to a stranger who had to pick him up and carry him over some power lines because they were too far off the ground for him.

I’ve had Harley since he was a tiny puppy and he’s the bravest and most earnest guy I know, and having him by my side while going through such a terrifying ordeal has made all the difference.

P.S. Including a bonus picture of Harley protesting the adoption bill. He’s also very good at protests.

From Emily Joy Allison

From Harold R “Scottie” Scott

FAMILY, COSMETIC AND SEDATION DENTISTRY IN EAST NASHVILLE

Easter & Juvia

My husband and I had grieved over the loss of our cat of 17 years for several years, and it came time that we needed to add some happiness back into our home. We decided to go to a rescue and found these two bundles of joy. We had originally gone to get one kitten, but Easter was adamant we get her sister and dragged her from the back of the cage to the front.

We were in love and brought them both home. They make us laugh and bring such joy and fun back into our lives. Easter is just like her daddy (Sam) and Juvia is just like me (Jack). They ESS15_EN_HalfPageH_August.indd 1 have such incredible personalities, and we could not imagine our lives without them. They bring us such love and comfort and we cherish every minute with them.

From Jack & Same Noe 14

April 2020

THOMAS F. HADLEY, DDS

8/17/15 10:20 AM

7 North Tenth Street 37206

(615) 227-2400 eastsidesmiles.net

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The Pets Issue

Blue

I have loved horses since I was five years old. I never dared to dream that someday I might own a horse of my own. When I moved from my hometown of Dallas, I purchased a farm on Old Hillsboro Road in Franklin. As fate or luck would have it, I soon learned that most of my neighbors not only shared my love for horses, but had magnificent warmblood horses that were shown in dressage shows around the world.

Within a few years, I had some really wonderful Hanoverian, Holsteiner, Andalusian, and Friesian horses. One of the Holsteiner stallions became not only a best friend, but was the first horse that had the mind, muscular body, and the willingness to forgive an amateur rider, yet take me well past the Grand Prix dressage classes.

I can never forget how ‘Blue’ knew he was about to be the center of attention at a show, and how I could feel his mouth as he anxiously chomped on the double-bridle bits, as if he was saying, “Turn on the spotlight. I am about to make my entrance!” The crowd would cheer very loudly when ‘Blue’ would start doing his very flashy and cadenced passage, and the crowd went wild when he transitioned from the passage to his incredible piaffe. The louder the crowd cheered, the more he loved it. I could actually feel his body puff up and he would always put ‘a little something extra’ into his intricate and precise steps. I believe he understood that the audience was applauding him, not his rider.

Dolly Anna Purrton

Dolly Anna Purrton was going to just be put out on the side of the road, so she and her siblings were rescued by a friend, and I adopted her. She is a sweet little diva that lives up to her name. She loves to sing like her namesake and her mama (me) lol!

From Krystal Fries

He loved his life in the show ring, but he enjoyed being just another horse when he was turned into his paddock on the farm. Most people think that all stallions are wild, dangerous and unmanageable horses, and in some cases, that is true. ‘Blue’ was once again a marvelous friend at home and was so quiet and gentle, even seasoned horse people often mistook him for a gelding.

He was a real clown and prankster. He loved nothing more than sticking his head into the window of a car or truck, and would delight in picking up anything he found on the seats—cell phones, books, hammers, anything and everything. He would pick up each item individually then place it in an area of his choosing.

More likely than not, he would go back to the vehicles that had left the windows down and honk the horn over and over until some of the barn workers would come outside to see who had arrived at the barn.

I have owned many horses since ‘Blue’ but his memories remain with me more than any horse I have ever. As my tears flowed into his magnificent bay coat, I was forced to have him euthanized at the age of 34. The last thing I told him was to be sure he remembered to meet me on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. I believe he will be impatiently waiting for me to arrive, and when he sees me, I know he will puff up and snort and do his little impatient dance, as if he were telling me to hurry up so he can be the star in the dressage arena made of the purest gold.

From Carroll Duvall

Gary

Gary is my 1-year-old Frenchie-Corgi mix. He was rescued from a hoarding/neglect situation in Lebanon, Tennessee, in early 2019, and we adopted him in June 2019. When we first got him, he was scared of everything—people, noises, doorways, kids, pets, even where the floor changed to carpet.

He comes to work with me every day (I work for a pet food company in Franklin) and has slowly come out of his shell. He isn’t brave enough yet to come to a big event like Pride, but he has made lots of friends at work—he knows which desks have snacks!

We call him a baked potato and burrito grande because he is such a solid lump of dog, but he can be as super fast when playing as he is super snuggly when napping. His favorite spots for naps are under my desk at work or the top back of the couch at home— such a climber!

I adore his silly smushy face, his snuffly snoring, and everything about his personality—and he loves us all right back. Even Pepper the cat has been known to groom his ears and lay down for a snuggle with him.

From Bridget Meadows

April 2020

outandaboutnashville.

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The Pets Issue “I finally saw him on a porch roof of a house that had burned down. I Took my ladder across the street and rescued him. Orange fur and off a roof from a burned down house. Thus, the name, Blaze,” Michael explained.

Baxter & Nixon From Glenn Stewart

Peggy and Lola Paquita Jerry and Benjamin Camarena Jones in Inglewood are the proud daddies of two rescue pugs. Peggy, the grand princess and older of the two, was adopted 15 years ago from a pug rescue .

She was just a few months old when adopted.

Lola Paquita is just over two years old and was adopted from Nashville Pug Rescue. She was rescued from a puppy mill in Mississippi. She was born with boy and girl parts but now proudly claims the pronouns of she/her/hers.

Hobbes

This is Hobbes. He is 7 Years old and is a fierce Dachshund. He has lived in Nashville his whole life. He loves playing with other dogs and sleeping.

They have as opposite personalities as could be. Peggy is relaxed and enjoying her twilight years while Lola is full of pug energy and mischief.

From Matt Taylor

Make Every Connection Count ADVO C ATE . EDU C ATE . CO NNEC T.

Avery and Blaze

Nashville resident Michael Fluck didn’t know he was a cat lover until two cats happened into his life. Avery (gray) was a presumed stray and is thought to be around seven years old. She showed up at a former roommate’s house as a kitten. When the roomie moved out, he left Avery with Daddy Michael. She is a “runt” and small, but healthy. Avery and his brother Blaze were destined to be together! And they fight like brothers and sisters.

Blaze (orange) was rescued from the roof of a house across the street from Michael’s former house. He heard a cat crying when he walked out to the street to get the mail. He had been gone five days for work attending the Super Bowl. Even though he heard a cat, he couldn’t find a cat.

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We’re now 500 members strong with deep connections. Join now before membership prices increase on January 1, 2020.

To learn about our membership benefits (business or individual), visit nashvillelgbtchamber.org today.

Take the first step and start making connections at our Annual Meeting and Holiday Party on Thursday, December 12that the Nashville Children’s Theatre.

Details and RSVP at nashvillelgbtchamber.org.

Shake it up.

Stir it up.

SINCE 1888 o u t a n d a b o u t n a s hv i l l e .c o m

FourRosesBourbon.com

April 2020

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Be mellow. Be responsible.

The Pets Issue

The Paradox of pets

The Paradox of Pets Barbara Sanders

Barbara Sanders’ dog Silk

Some may say that pets are just domesticated animals and that is all they are. Uh, no … read on.

Before I had a long-term partner, I used to say: “Partners may come and go But, my pet is always there for me.”

What is it about pets that create in us so much love, hope and delight, even though we know that they will also bring us much grief when they pass on?

Pets are creatures that we get so attached to, animals whom we love so purely, family members for whom we grieve so astoundingly with our saddest of sobs and tears. These lovely beings greet us as soon as we awake in the morning, they sometimes sleep with us at night, and they are present with us whenever and wherever we allow it. How do pets, who may be just animals, make our lives more full and fabulous?

As soon as we enter a room, we see and feel their presences, we hear their howls of joy or meows of curiosity. We sense their smiles toward us even though we sometimes wonder if they really love us, or if they just want a tiny bit more to eat.

Pets often seem happy or at least comfortable being around us no matter our moods, and they keep us from feeling lonely and sad. Pets are paradoxical parts of our lives without which we might be lost. Just animals? No.

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As I think back throughout my life, I am not sure I have had one pet-less year, except perhaps when I was in college but my parents still had Jill, the tiny beagle who grew up with me and stayed with my parents when I left them. I myself have owned not only cats and dogs but ducks, birds, fish (indoors and outdoors), gerbils, and a ferret, a dear, sweet soul who danced ecstatically but who also stank.

Although I have experienced only a few tragic deaths of extended family members and friends, I once grieved so loudly and forcefully for one of my dogs, a chocolate lab named Choc, that this level of grief stunned even me. I rescued him from the humane shelter and within 3 weeks, it became clear that he had a terminal disease. I cried and wept more for him than for most other pets and people combined, and I wondered why? Loss is loss and we can feel abandoned, rejected, helpless, or betrayed, triggering all sorts of feelings from past traumas.

My gray cat, Cheddar, lived with me for 17-1/2 years of my young adulthood. I imagined that he “decided” to die after I got pregnant for the first time. I believed that he didn’t want a sibling and chose to leave before such a thing happened. But, he was probably just sick. I had to make meaning out of that loss somehow so my brain made up a story about it, as brains often do.

We sometimes anthropomorphize our pets, meaning that we assume or project onto them many of our own human feelings

The Paradox of pets and thoughts. When our carnivorous cat doesn’t eat, we may think he has a tummy ache. We may rush our dog to the vet when she seems listless (because something must be wrong, right?) although she is just tired from our long walk. We are frequently anxious about our pets.

We assume our pets love us, are so happy with us, or are sad along with us. We project anger and fear onto our pets unconsciously and involuntarily with these crackerjack brains of ours that make snap judgments as we try to explain and understand the world around us.

If the dog is barking, we decide whether he is either excited, scared, mad or lonely just like we project sometimes onto babies what their cries tell us about they want and need. Or, what we want and need.

Our pets also take care of us (or we think they do) if we are sad, distressed or lonely. I have heard so many stories about pets who sit with their sick owners, refusing to leave their sides, even when they die. Or, how pets may “diagnose” cancer in their owners before a doctor does.

Why have people put pets in pyramids and tombs with their dead bodies? Are they hoping their pets will be with them in a next life?

Why all this attachment to pets? Maybe because we are closely and primitively attached to them in some visceral, emotional and perhaps spiritual ways, and we feel a strong bond, maybe making up for the looser and more complex attachments we have or have had with the humans in our lives.

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The Pets Issue

But along with joy comes grief when our pets die. Pets touch us so deeply and grief from the loss of a pet feel less complicated than when we grieve people. We seem to mourn pets’ deaths more genuinely or more authentically than we do human deaths. Even though our human relationships can be loving and intimate, human relationships are multi-faceted, complicated and dynamic, full of conflict and/or comfort (and everything in between), especially with family members. We experience a full range of emotions with humans whereas with pets, we may feel more consistent love and sometimes need.

Truth be told, we may experience our pets, the care taking of our pets, and the being with our pets as so integral to our daily lives, full of routines like when we walk the dog and when we feed the cat, that an alteration in these rituals undoes us for awhile.

Without our pets, we may feel lost, the day is without form or structure, or at the very least, our routines change dramatically and this takes a toll on us. We are sometimes brought to our knees when a pet dies partly because it impacts so many parts of our everyday lives.

A friend told me recently that when his cat died, he posted the news on Facebook and received over 140 comments, which he treasured. He also got lots of calls, texts and emails from family and friends. They sent him gifts commemorating his pet’s transition from this physical life to whatever comes next. And although he felt wonderfully supported by this outburst of attention, he also cried each night and morning, the times he most missed his adorable pet of 14 years. He also somehow knows that he needs to grieve this pet for awhile before he fills up his life with a new one. And, this next one may create a new adventure of love and attachment bringing him both joy and grief again one day.

Finally, as much as we realize that pets’ lives are briefer than our own, we keep choosing these little love buddies to join us as we walk through our lives, knowing that we need them perhaps more than they need us.

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Barbara Sanders’ dog Silk o u t a n d a b o u t n a s hv i l l e .c o m

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The Pets Issue

Presiding Queens: @casanova_loves_you @shelbylabanks, @cyainhale

Bennett Jason Welcome back to the Queens’ Table, your go to for Nashville’s hottest food destinations and even hotter ladies spilling the fresh tea on what’s tasty.

Since coming to Nashville from NYC, we were super excited to hear that these SoHo icons were coming to town. Casanova and I were already oh so familiar with the super chic Mother’s Ruin and couldn’t wait to ring the alarm. Mother’s Ruin is a quaint, non pretentious neighborhood spot in Germantown.

Their drinks are epic and their elevated bar food is just what you want, small shareable plates that go with any lewk.

As we do, we started out with some of our favorite cocktails. Casanova had the Achilles’ Horse, a luscious blend of rum, lime, almond and pineapple. Social Currency was also ordered, a mix of tequila, lime, black tea and lillet blanc. Also, try the Toggle Switch, blending lime, soda, a pina shrub, aperol, and you can have it custom with any spirit you choose. Shelby had it with tequila, because she’s a lady.

Photog: Cody Stallings

“Simply delicious,” she confessed. We ordered quite a few more of these throughout the night.

We kiki’d and caught up with each other.

Shelby has made her divine return to Nashville after taking some time on the road and we just had to hear about it. Glad to have her back.

Then, food arrived—fabulous food. Are you a fan of Old Bay or Cholula? This is the spot because both of these contribute to their house sauce. It’s epic!

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KATE NELSON, REALTOR® 615 / 268-0319 615 / 383-6964 kjcnelson@gmail.com DIRECT

OFFICE

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The Pets Issue

GAY GUIDE PRInt EDITION HEALTH Dental Services East Side Smiles 7 North 10th Street Nashville, TN 37206 615-227-2400 eastsidesmile.net

Healthcare Providers Cool Springs Internal Medicine & Pediatrics MD 1607 Westgate Circle, Ste 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 615-376-8195 coolspringsinternalmedicine.com

Pharmacy Nashville Pharmacy Services 100 Oaks Plaza, Skyline Medical 615-371-1210 / 615-724-0066 npspharmcay.com

Optometry Look East 1011 Gallatin Avenue Nashville, TN 37206 615-928-2281 lookeastnashville.com

COUNSELING & PSYCHIATRIC HEALTH Individual & Couples Therapy Barbara Sanders, LCSW/John Waide, PhD, LCSW 2016- 21St Ave South/2323- 21st Ave South, Ste.401 Nashville, TN 37212 615-414-2553 / 615-400-5911 dignitytherapynashville.com Brandon Teeftaller, APN 220 Athens Way, Plaza 1, Suite 104 Nashville, TN. 37228 615-320-1155

REAL ESTATE

LEGAL SERVICES

Sheila Barnard, Realtor, The Realty Association 1305 Murfressboro Road Nashville, TN 37217 615-385-9010 cell 615-424-6924 sheilabarnard.realtyassociation.com Emily Benedict, Realtor, Village Real Estate 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-585-1258 BSLNashville.com Kate Nelson, Realtor, Village Real Estate 2206 21st Ave South, Ste. 200 Nashville, TN 37212 615-383-6964 realestatewithkate.com

Lawyer Bart Durham Injury Law Office 404 James Robertson Parkway Nashville, TN 37219 615-338-6177 bartdurham.com Sunny Eaton, Esq. 731 Porter Road Nashville, TN 37206 615-861-9960

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ORGANIZATIONS Nashville Humane Association 213 Oceola Avenue Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-1010 nashvillehumane.org

SPIRITUALITY

Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce P.O. Box 330971 Nashville, TN 37203 615-507-5185 nashvillelgbtchamber.org

Holy Trinity Community Church 6727 Charlotte Pike Nashville, TN 37209 615-352-3838 www.htccnashville.com

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April 2020

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The Pets Issue

The Queens’ Table

We started off with seared shishito peppers with thai chili and agave syrup, and an amazing beet salad, packed with shaved radish, bitter kale, feta and sunflower seeds. Definitely check out the loaded shrimp roll with celery and Creole dressing.

Cya was hankering for something fried, so we ordered the Old Bay waffle fries, which were everything. We got two orders.

“Girls, try the green chili queso!” Cya said. It was served with fresh corn chips. We finished with the avocado toast, complete with burrata, and pickled oyster mushrooms. Fantastique! They serve it up until 2 a.m. If you’re a brunch fan, it’s served up every day, and it’s killer on the weekend.

Our girls are so excited that Mother’s Ruin chose Nashville as their second home, contributing more vibrancy and flavor to Germantown. This NYC staple was realized by TJ Lynch and Richard Knapp. Nashville’s leading man is co-owner Nick Pfannerstill, making sure the integrity and authenticity of Mother’s Ruin is preserved.

You ask where they got the name?...hint-hint, order up some gin! My queens promise you an easy, delicious and, of course, fabulous night at Mother’s Ruin.

Until next time fierce foodies! As always, much love and good taste from the Queens’ Table.

Mother’s Ruin is located at 1239 6th Avenue North, Nashville, Tennessee, 37208.

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