SKY Magazine Issue 26

SEPTEMBER 2020 | FREE COPY

Procrastination Bullying Beauty & brains Melanin Hard work

with Dato Seiko

featuring girls in Botswana

For Teen

Girls Only

Smoking

featuring cover girl Karabo

by Mboko Basiami

with Kefus Leo

SKY is a sisterhood of teenage girls all across Botswana.

Becoming a SKY girl means taking the pledge to define your Sures (things you love) and Shapos (things you don’t need in your life)

What sets SKY girls apart is that we stay true to ourselves, and we are not swayed by peer pressure.

Whatever our Sures and Shapos are, we stand by them, because those choices define us, and make each one of us unique.

We follow our skyline.

We are SKY.

I

pledge to be true to myself and what I believe in. To be who I am, not who someone else thinks I should be.

I will say Sure Ka Yone to the things that I am all about – like standing up for my friends and following my dreams.

I will say Shapo Ka Yone to the things I am good without – like smoking and backstabbing. I will make choices that are true to me.

I will follow my skyline.

I pledge to find my SKY.

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Editors’ Note

10

Letter To My 14-year-old Self

5

12

6

Soul Beautiful

Never Stop Trying

Cover Feature

16

26

7

21

Tips to Cultivate a Beautiful Soul

28

8

22

SKY Spotted

The New Normal

True Life Stories

9

What Feeds My Soul

Mmabontle

24

Know Your Worth

Body Beautiful

Single and Thriving

30

Advice Corner: Boys Edition

Design & Produced: The Dialogue Group Original Photography: Image Lounge Illustrations: Heather Monare

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’ S R O T I D E NOTE

Heyyy SKY fam!

It’s been a rough start to the year, #2020vibes, but we’ve managed to pull through. We’ve been rebuilding behind the scenes and are so excited to share the new era of SKY with you. And with a new era comes new content and activities to look forward to!

The life of a SKY girl can be really hectic but at the end of the day, life is ever so beautiful, just like you. Hence, the theme of this issue is So(ul) Beautiful… get it ;-) Re sure ka prioritising ourselves and our mental health!

With this issue, we want you to recognise the beauty inside of you and to always remember to nurture every part of you – from your mind, to your body and of course, your SOUL. With the incoming exam season, you may feel like you’re quarter to panic but not to worry cause we got you!

We know that you are more than capable of excelling and reaching the stars. Of course, it is easier said than done but the first little step does wonders. Take your first step with our article about a SKY girl who became a top achiever after being an ‘average’ student.

We also feature a true life story, advice from SKY Guys, and Dato Seiko telling us what feeds her soul. Plus, we have amazing original drawings by our very own SKY Girl Heather Monare. We hope this little starter pack on the many ways of keeping your soul beautiful serves as a launch pad to a journey of self-discovery and self-love.

Keep being and doing you… And staying ever so beautiful, inside and out xx #StayTrue

Lots of love A small part of your SKY Team

o p o b e L d n a h i t Fa cocoa_fayy Cocoa Fayy

AKA FayyBopo

leboposebusang Lebopo Sebusang

5 Friends come and go

@social media girl

Which friends do you keep around? The friends you keep influence your behaviour, your choices, your attitude, and your soul. Choose your friends wisely and gently let go of those that you feel don’t vibe with your aura. You can disagree with your friends on certain things, but you should be respectful to one another. Not all your friends have to be friends with each other. You’re allowed to have different friend groups. The friends you have today may not even be the same friends you have in 10 years. You’re all gonna grow and change and that’s OK. But as you grow, check in with yourself regularly to make sure the people that surround you are good for your soul.

Your presence on social media also shows what kind of person you are. Are you problematic and always bullying others as they mind their own business? Do you harass other people online? What kind of opinions do you post? Are they offensive to others? Remember that whatever you post online never goes away, it will exist forever even if you try to delete it later. So be yourself online as you are in the real world, but don’t openly share any private information about yourself. Treat people as you’d like to be treated. Also, take care of yourself online. Report and block people that bother you and others.

Soul

Beautiful Are YOU beautiful? What does beauty mean to you? Who do you consider

beautiful in your life? We have a few ideas of what ‘soul beauty’ means!

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

Some of us use mirrors almost every day. What do you see when you look? Do you judge yourself and become even more insecure at your flaws? Be kind to yourself. You’re still growing and going through puberty. Take care of yourself as best as you can. And remember that comparing your reflection to other peoples’ social media photos doesn’t make sense. You’re comparing the ‘woke up like this’ version of yourself that only you see, with a carefully polished, curated and filtered version of that person. In real life, you’re just as beautiful as any of those girls you see online boo.

Your Aura The energy you carry determines how people interact with you. You’re either a delight to be around or a pain. Be accepting of people, be kind, be open minded. Also, try to remove yourself from situations you feel negatively affect your space. It’s OK to excuse yourself and go somewhere else you feel more comfortable. Cultivate a good aura so people are happy to be around you :)

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If you spot yourself on our ‘SKY Spotted’ pages, you win SKY merch!

And we have got some supercool gear coming your way, so keep those photos coming!

SKYSpotted

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Here are SKY’s top tips to follow to stay safe and sane…

At this point, you already know all about COVID-19. It’s a new virus that affects the lungs, it’s been spreading throughout the world, and it keeps messing up our lives!

Keep yourself safe

Look after your mental health

Viruses are invisible, but we can still take clear actions to keep them away from us and stop the spread.

Wash your hands regularly for at least 20 seconds, and if you don’t have access to soap and water you must use sanitiser instead. Maintain a safe distance (1-2 metres) from anyone you don’t live with and wear a mask when you are in public. Avoid touching your face (because this type of virus can enter through your nose or mouth). Limit the number of places you go and people you see.

Apart from taking care of your physical body, it’s important to remain calm and remember that this is not forever. Things will get better, the sun will keep rising and setting, and you will benefit from staying calm rather than panicking. Now is the time to seek out the small joys in life and remain grateful for what you have. Avoiding bingeing on news, just check what you need to check and then shut it off and focus on your own world.

It might seem boring now, but you are protecting yourself and every other human being by taking these steps. Making sure to follow these small rules could genuinely save the life of someone you love. And we KNOW that SKY Girls are the lifesaving type

If you are someone who tends to worry about things a bit too much, this could be an extra difficult time for you. If you think the stress is affecting you too much, try to use some of the tips in this issue of SKY Mag to remain calm and ask for help and support if you need it.

Care for others We all process things differently, so what seems fine to you might seem scary to your mum, your cousin or your bestie. Also, some people are dealing with other issues at the same time – maybe they are sick, or stressed, or they don’t have enough money. There are so many difficult things that people go through.

Make sure to look out for others, check in on your older relatives and make sure they are OK (because COVID-19is more dangerous for older people), and offer to help where you can. We are all in this together, which means we all have a role to play. So after looking after yourself, don’t forget to be a beautiful soul and look after everyone else too.

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I didn’t expect so much betrayal from my friend

I had lost my popularity, my friends and my boyfriend

True life story

I

t’s funny how social media can play a big part in our lives without us even noticing it. I was 15, very naïve and I trusted everyone. All of this backfired on me when one day, I trusted a close friend with my Facebook account details. Just like in any friendship, we had an argument and as revenge she decided to go through my messages and went to the extent of posting screenshots of my private conversations with my boyfriend at the time. In one of the conversations I was telling him that I wasn’t ready to indulge in any sexual activities. People laughed and judged me period, I went from being one of the coolest girls in school and on social media to a laughing stock, I felt so alone and yet the whole world knew so much about me period, I didn’t expect so much betrayal from my friend. It tormented me for months I had to take a break from social media, and that opened up so much time for me to focus on

my education. I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore, he dumped me because he felt like the whole world knew gore “ne a sa je sepe”. I was so broken. I had lost my popularity, my friends and my boyfriend. The fact that everyone knew my personal life wasn’t helping. Even though everyone has forgotten about the incident, it has still left a scar in my heart, but time heals everything, and I have learnt to regain my confidence. Social media can make and break you, in all of this I learnt that it’s easy for people to turn their backs on you, no matter how close you thought you were. It took a while for me to share posts on Facebook but as time went on, I learnt to be comfortable with the dynamics of social media, I am careful of the things I disclose on my social media, but I still express myself.

Faith Gunda

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What Feeds My Soul T he soul is a sacred part of all us and it is there to enlighten the temporary composition of every living being.

Therefore, it is vital to feed it the right energy for it to fulfil its fundamental duty. The soul gives energy to the living being and for it to do that, it needs to be refilled daily- so it gives the body the balance it greatly deserves.

My soul is fed with 5 things I consider important in my life. This is how I feed my soul on a daily.

Music

By Dato Seiko

For someone who often feels a lot because I empathise with others, and sometimes fail to find ways to put words together in order to express myself, I find comfort in music. I feed my soul with songs that make me feel whole, and not only do I listen to songs but I also write. Music has been my biggest form of expression and I use it to feed more souls- it is a universal language, right?

1. Meditation Meditation is vital for the body, the mind and the soul. I meditate every day to open myself up and also to help eliminate negative thoughts, worries, anxiety or any factor that can prevent me from feeling positive and happy. I recommend you try it, it will help you control your mind and thoughts and keep your soul fed.

2. Love I like to say I am love, a lover who loves to love and loves getting love. I believe the world and everyone in it was created with love and delicacy, and that’s how we should live.

Whenever I get angry, I stop and think of a way to respond in a gentle way, I respond

AKA Katlego Ntirang, musician

with love to any given situation. When you start looking at the world with a loving, caring and gentle eye, you start to see the real meaning of “peace of mind”.

3. Kindness Kind words are like medicine to the soul.

Words build and words break, choose yours wisely and change the world for the better.

I preach kindness every single day because it goes a long way. Be kind to yourself and show people how to treat you. Be kind to others and show people how there’s still hope in humanity.

4. Food Great food is a great way to keep your soul happy. I eat well so I can stay well. It’s true, you are what you eat, so be careful of what you put in your body.

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B

reathe, relax, and take a step back to look at yourself. Love your beautiful skin and love your creative mind, because everything is going to work out. Ignore the taunts on your dark skin, trust me, in a few years the whole world will realize the beauty that is your melanin magic and everyone will glow and look back with shame at a time when beautiful black girls didn’t feel as beautiful as they should be in our skin. Remember how you always wanted representation in fashion, to see more girls that looked like you in editorial campaigns? Well guess what… you didn’t wait for it, you created it.

Keep on practising your design sketches, keep on collecting all your ELLE magazines because one day your dream will come true and you will have an Afrocentric brand that celebrates black girls all around our continent. You’re going to share your glow well #GlottoGlow with thousands of girls in the world, with your clothing brand reaching Europe, Australia, China and America. Nothing comes easy baby girl and you will face some disappointments, but always remember where you come from and what your heritage is based in.

Peer pressure might get the best of you at times and an inferiority complex might build up when you move to a bigger city, but that’s all meant to make you stronger, force you to be proud of being a Motswana creative, born and raised. You may not come from a huge city with millions of people in it, but one thing is certain; you will create a Proudly Made in Botswana brand that will impact millions of people. You don’t know it yet, but you are the original Glotto Gid; growing and constantly glowing.

Stay being true to yourself and keep unapologetically pursuing your dreams.

Mboko Basiami @ gloto

Letter to my 14-yearold self

11 A NEVER STOPS TRYING

I

wrote my IGCSE final exams in 2017. In early 2018 I received my results, and I was really disappointed - I didn’t expect to get the results I got! I became totally devastated and went into a stage where I was living each day like I had no purpose, because I felt worthless and I had given up. What made me feel even worse was the fact that I disappointed my parents. That’s the last thing I had ever wanted to do when it came to everything I do in life. Fortunately, they convinced me to go back to school. I did that, and the first thing I did when I returned to school was asked God for strength so that I wouldn’t be ashamed of where I’m coming from or my story.

After I went back to school, I broke down countless times and told myself I wouldn’t

and so there were days when I went to school feeling really tired. But I decided against giving up and kept working harder. One of my teachers told me that if I kept working as hard as I did, I’d get what I wanted. I did exactly that.

Soon, through that hard work and determination, I started doing better and better.

Fortunately, my school gave us full access to the premises every day from Monday to Sunday, and I was in school on every one of those days (even during the holidays) until I wrote my exams again. In early 2019, results were coming out and I was really nervous and obviously had some doubts… but I prayed about it and I got my breakthrough! I passed my exams and made it to my school’s top achievers list. Not only that but I’m currently in university, studying the course I always wanted to study and working on pursuing the future I’ve always dreamt of having. If it wasn’t for God, my family and my supportive friends I wouldn’t be where I am today. But most importantly, I am where I am because I didn’t quit, I didn’t shy away from making a better future for myself by being scared of what people would say if they heard

“At some point I wanted to give that I went back to school. “If I up”. Being can do it, so can the first child comes with the you!” responsibilities of having to make it.

help out with house chores and still balance that with schoolwork,

All it takes is dedication and believing in yourself! GO GET IT GIRL!

by Aone Anita Baane

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Cover

Feature W

e hosted a cover competition on our FACEBOOK page asking girls to send us 5 tips to cultivate a beautiful soul. We received hundreds of entries but couldn’t pick them all! Here are the winners Karabo and Michelle, we hope their tips are helpful.

A soul is an emotional and intellectual intensity or energy which is immortal. It is an undying part of us which is revealed in our work of arts and artistic performances. For it to work to its fullest capacity it needs to be cultivated frequently, in order for it to fulfil its rightful purpose.

The soul is the one contortion that needs no introduction, it is the true reflection of who we really are.

How to cultivate a beautiful soul;

BE OPTIMISTIC A positive mindset is very important because it helps you filter out negative thoughts. Remember you are not your negative thoughts and your feelings are very valid. Be sure to surround yourself with positive people with positive energy and positive outlooks on life.

EMBRACE YOURSELF Embrace all those aspects you’ve been trying to deny or destroy. Dig deep within you and connect to all the pieces you’ve been avoiding, tap in to the painful ones and begin the healing journey. It is very important to trace the things that keep you from being happy and fight them head on.

Self-l one’s reflec shou

13 BE KIND AND SUPER LOVING TO YOURSELF Self-love is essential in one’s life, because it is the reflection of how people should treat you.

Meditating frequently, taking the time you need to yourself, eating right, motivating yourself and exercising are ways to show love to yourself.

When you start to love yourself, you radiate loving energy to everyone around you. Also, not accepting disrespect or being treated badly by other people is a good way to love yourself.

MUSIC Music is food to the soul, have you ever had someone say “that song feeds my soul” or “soul music is medicine to the soul”? That’s because music is a universal language that speaks to the soul, regardless of its container which is the human body. Turn up your favourite song, dance and sing out loud.

Karabo Ntirang

love is essential in s life, because it is the ction of how people uld treat you.

SAY NO TO DRUGS/ ALCOHOL AND YES TO A GREAT FUTURE Toxins are bad for your body, mind and soul. Say no to anyone who wants to pressure you into consuming intoxicants. Be shapo ka drugs and alcohol and be sure ka your education and a healthy lifestyle.

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If the world was not keen on making commentary like why is she skinny, why is she dark, why is she fat or anything that has to do with someone’s physical appearance, then the world would realize that having a beautiful soul is worth more than beauty on the outside. Hi SKY sisters, here are my 5 tips on how to cultivate a beautiful soul.

LOVE YOURSELF When was the last time you ever thought of what you like, or whether you really like the kind of friends you hang out with?

We all have our flaws we should accept, and no one can use them against us. It’s okay if you are that nerdy girl, or that loud girl who is just the life of the party.

You cannot love others before loving yourself because it is only when you love yourself, that you are able to share and receive love to the people around you.

DO NOT BE INSECURE Bathong, things do happen hey, some may call it going through the most, I call it testing your focus. I am pretty sure we all had moments of uncertainty like ‘are we still going to be best friends?’ or ‘why is Lefika hugging others and not me?’ You start questioning if you are the problem or you are just not good enough. Feeling insecure will only fill you with bitterness and hatred and such vibes dampen your spirits and may push you to do something you may regret in the future. Talk things out.

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST REMEDY Watch comedy and support your comedic friends. Laughing relieves you of stress and that is a steppingstone towards having a beautiful soul. Special shoutout to Bonnita, Joline, Tshepiso and Thabang for always sharing a good laugh with me and being there when I need them.

Mimi Kutlo K

You cannot love ot loving yourself bec when you love you are able to share an with the people aro

15 HAVE A SPIRIT OF FORGIVENESS I remember I went to a trip while I was in grade seven and I was so happy that even with the little my mom made then; she was able to pay for it. Before the trip there was always this group of girls who bullied me because I was always the ‘biggest’ kid in the grade, so this one time mom got me ditlhako tsa soviet the red ones, I was overjoyed then but my happiness was soon crushed by one of the girls words “O tsaa gore ditlhako tsa gago di dintle, bona tsame, you won’t even be able to afford them” I was hurt. The day we arrived in South Africa, that was the worst day because I remember I got my first period while I was on the trip, and I was so clueless as to what was happening and the same girl said “naare o istainetse, bathong bonang” ke tswa go bona gore wai gakena ditsala, but from that day I was able to forgive them because they were blind to as the kind of person I was. See, they only knew how I was on the outside and not on the inside.

Kelobang

thers before cause it is only urself, that you nd receive love ound you.

BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

Having a relationship with GOD has been very helpful for me. There are many ways you could acknowledge him as the creator, it could be through singing or worship, through prayer or even through gospel music. I do it through music as I listen to gospel tracks by the likes of Travis Greene, pastor Michael Mahender, hill song worship, Tasha Cobbs, Leonard and many more. I am not perfect, which is why I’m still working on strengthening my relationship with God every day.

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Keletso Thebe- 19 University of Botswana

Sures 1. Being yourself 2. Securing the bag 3. Living your best life

Shapos 1. Backstabbing 2. Clout chasing 3. Being snide

How to cultivate a beautiful soul 1. Socialising 2. Allow space for Me Time 3. Have a balanced diet 4. Let go of negativity 5. Work on your spirituality

Tips on how to cu

ultivate a

Mercy Mmamotse Fundira - 17 Botlhale Cambridge International School

Sures

1. Success 2. Basketball 3. Art

Shapos

1. Toxic friends 2. Junk food 3. Smoking

How to cultivate a beautiful soul 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Practise self-acceptance Be kind Invest in your talent Prioritise your health Positive thinking, positive actions

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Michelle Kutlo Kelobang - 17 Gaborone Senior Secondary School (GSS)

Sures

1. Good grades 2. My social circle 3. Being positive

Shapos

1. Negative commentary 2. Toxic people 3. Drugs or alcohol

How to cultivate a beautiful soul 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Love yourself Fight against insecurity Have a spirit of forgiveness Laughter is the best remedy Build a relationship with God

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Karabo Oboitshepo Ntirang - 16 Naledi Senior Secondary School

Sures

1. My education 2. Modelling 3. Being kind and loving

Shapos

1. Smoking and drinking 2. Negative vibes 3. Fake friends

How to cultivate a beautiful soul 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Be optimistic Embrace yourself Be kind and loving to yourself Listen to music Say no to drugs and alcohol, and yes to and say yes to a great future

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Margaret Pule - 17 Kgari Sechele Senior Secondary School

Sures 1. Poetry

Shapos 1. Negativity

2. Music

2. Toxic friends

3. School

3. Procastination

How to cultivate a beautiful soul 1. Read a book 2. Meditate 3. Get a hobby 4. Keep a healthy body 5. Find your purpose

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Mmabontle!!

G

rowing up in Botswana means at some point you’re gonna find yourself participating in a beauty pageant.

Whether as a contestant or a spectatorand we can’t all win neh--- good times! It’s kinda like a rite of passage at this point. Didn’t we all just wanna be Miss Universe though?! :) Re na le bo Miss petite, bo Miss Agriculture, Little Miss Princess of the world, Miss Valentine, go gontsi-ntsi ebile you can make your own for any cause and it’ll still be accepted. Mara there are so many misconceptions around what bommabontle entail!

WE SPOKE WITH A FEW PRINCESSES WHO GAVE US A BIT OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE PART OF THESE PAGEANTS.

SOUL

BEAUTY BRAINS

Being a beauty queen also involves

all have our own preferences. Beauty pageants

We believe beauty pageants are

know what’s not cute? Looking

have their requirements just like any other

more than just what you look like

good and having a nasty attitude

competition. However, physical beauty has

on the outside. If you’re crowned as

towards other people. The physical

always been important for the selection of

Miss Tshiamo Junior School, surely

appearance doesn’t mean anything

participants and winners. This can be a problem

you should be able to represent

when you’re not a good person.

when beauty is not seen as diverse, for example

your school well all round. By not

This is why you find so many beauty

when pageants lean towards light skinned

just being cute but also having the

pageants representing many causes

slim girls, or when pageants are Eurocentric

brains to talk about so many topics,

that either give back to the commu-

(meaning they prefer European features).

for example, challenges that may

nity or that surround world issues.

Beauty of all shapes and shades should be

affect students at your school. That

This is about your purpose. What are

accepted in beauty pageants so as not to

way, you can use your role to repre-

you doing with your title before and

discriminate against size or skin tone, which

sent and lift up others. Being smart

after you’re crowned queen? Your

can create insecurities in girls everywhere. The

is prettier than just being pretty!

beauty should be more than just

good news is, pageants are getting more and

You can excel at school and still be

what you see :)

more diverse. And remember, way back in 1999

a beauty queen, in fact, excelling

Mpule Kwelagobe was the first black African

will help you to be a better queen.

to win any of ‘the big 4’ international beauty

This will also gain you some respect

pageants. She represented not only Botswana

#BeautyWithBrains.

This is obviously subjective according to judges. We all see beauty differently and we

but all the darker skinned babes out there :)

being a good person. Because you

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KNOW YOUR WORTH

I

am almost certain you have heard this statement a million times. Mme hela as SKY GIRLS re sure ka who we are. Re sure ka being worth it. In case you forget this or have forgotten, we wanted to remind you gore o nne sure. Here’s how:

Look around youyou are 1 of 1 Your individuality is worth being celebrated. There’s no one else in the world with your exact DNA. Your uniqueness has value. You have value. If you are ever in doubt about your worth- keep this in mind you are 1 of 1, a masterpiece. Re sure ka wena. There’s no other you.

Spend time on the things you care about Whether you love sports, enjoy hanging out with your friends and family or working on projects, if you care about it, spend some energy on it. This will get you in a great mood and ultimately remind you of your value.

Relationships You have to know what you want and what you need in every relationship you have. Whether it’s a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a classmate, a comrade, or a neighbor. Everyone has value and purpose just as you do in their lives. Be careful of who you let in, who you share your secrets with, or who you show your vulnerabilities to. Not everyone is for you, it’s OK to have your people.

morning to remind yourself of how awesome you are. There are some apps which also send you great affirmations which can help to uplift you (for example ThinkUp and Shine).

Remind yourself every day that you are worth it and the entire SKY nation agrees. Don’t let anyone disrespect you, or try to bring you down.

Positive Daily Affirmations A great way to remind you of your worth is to constantly affirm it. You need to say it until you believe it again. You can write down some affirmations and stick them in your closet or have them in a book or on your cellphone. Read them every

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Soul Food

To keep our souls full, we need some soul food. (LOL). We have put some awesome recipes for you to try out in your spare time and enjoy!

Nutella Cinnamon Rolls For rolls, you will need • 4 cups of cake flour • 4 table spoons of sugar • 1 packet of yeast • 1 large egg • 1 cup of milk

Buffalo Wings Fun Fact: Buffalo wings are called that because they originated in a place in the United States called “Buffalo”. The trick is to grill them with your favorite spices then add them to a vinegar-based sauce. Make this sauce in a pot then dip all your wings in it and put them back into the oven for 6 minutes.

Your vinegar-based sauce can include • 1/4 cup of vinegar • 2 spoons of tomato sauce • 1 spoon of soy sauce • 1 spoon of Worcestershire sauce • 2 spoons of brown sugar By @dinewithneo

For the filling • 3/4 cups of sugar • 2 tablespoons of cinnamon • Nutella for spreading To glaze • 250 grams of plain cream cheese • 3 tablespoons of honey or sugar • 1 table spoon of vanilla extract • 80ml of milk Directions • In a large bowl, mix the dry ingredients (flour, yeast, sugar, salt).

• Add the egg and pour in 1 cup of warm water and mix everything together.

• Transfer the mixture onto a lightly floured surface (using the same cake flour)

• Knead your dough and while doing so, add more flour if necessary until you have a smooth ball of dough • Place the dough in a bowl and cover with a dry cloth so that it rises (warm place for an hour).

• Lightly flour a clean surface and roll out the dough into a rectangular shape.

• Spread Nutella all over the dough then mix sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over the Nutella.

• Roll the dough into a log and cut into 12 pieces.

• Place the pieces into a greased over proof dish and cover with kitchen cloth or cling wrap and allow to rise again in a warm place for 30 mins.

• Preheat oven to 180 • Bake the rolls for 30-35 minutes until golden.

While baking-prepare the glaze • blend cream cheese, honey, vanilla extract, and milk until smooth then pour over rolls when ready.

By @cookingwithluyanda

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Body Beautiful

We’re reclaiming our wellness from the hairs on our heads to the tips of our toes. Soul beautiful, inside and out.

Mind Picture You Self-image is the ‘mental picture’ you have of yourself.

People either have a positive or a negative self-image.

A person with a positive self-image is more likely to acknowledge their talents and strengths, while accepting their flaws and weaknesses. But a person with a negative self-image is more likely to dwell on their negative attributes and hardly see their own merits.

Here are steps you can take to view yourself more positively: Take stock of your character traits. Make sure to cover everything - your strengths, talents, weaknesses, flaws… everything!

Identify the positive ones. You have plenty of potential to be good, and believe or not, you’re already good at so many things! You just need to determine what they are. Ask the people around you what they think your positive traits are.

We tend to be way too hard on ourselves. Ask your friends, family and teachers what they think your strengths are.

Make note of any negative feelings you have about yourself.

It’s important to acknowledge what we don’t like, so we can work on it or learn to accept it.

Create a self-image action plan. You’ve explored your feelings and where they come from. What are you gonna do about it? Set SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound) goals. Like, ‘I’m gonna give myself 3 compliments per day in the mirror every day this month!’

Get to work!!!

25 Body Vagina Vision Reclaiming our mind, body and soul means we can’t leave out any part of us… even the least spoken about and most taboo parts of us.

It’s time to dispel some myths and shed some light on lady V. The vagina isn’t on the outside.

The vagina is the tube inside of the body leading to the cervix. What you see outside is actually called the vulva. It consists of the labia majora (outer lips), labia minora (inner lips), clitoris and opening to the vagina.

There is no need to wash the vagina! No need for feminine wipes being stuffed up there. Or all sorts of washes. In fact, the only part that needs to be cleaned is the vulva – remember, those are the parts on the outside, the parts you can see.

Do not use scented washes or products down there! They mess with your pH and cause imbalances, which may result in yeast infections or other infections.

Just water is fine but you can also use a non-scented wash, again ONLY on the vulva.

Discharge is normal. No shame in that. Weird smells and different coloured discharge happens. Don’t freak out.

The vagina is very sensitive. The pH balance and good bacteria balance can be shifted by so many things – antibiotics, new diet, lots of sugar, scented products, sexual activity etc. It’s important you go to a health professional if something worries you.

Soul Mindfulness What is mindfulness? Well, mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us. Being mindful doesn’t mean you never get angry or stressed or upset – it just means we are more thoughtful and deliberate in our responses to stressful situations. A good practice is to not react immediately to every situation. Instead try to relax, take a deep breath, give it time, and then make a decision.

Mindfulness Exercise Find a quiet place Sit or stand in a comfortable position.

Relax your body Focus on what you’re currently doing. Not the homework which is due or the dishes that need to be washed, but the sounds you can hear, the feel of your feet on the floor, and the feeling of breathing in and out.

Allow your mind to drift, if it does.

Don’t fight it.

Acknowledge any wandering thoughts, then let them go and return to focusing on your body.

Listen to your body and how you’re feeling.

Keep it short (5-10 mins is fine) Afterwards, ask yourself if you feel calmer. If so, repeat this exercise whenever you are stressed. If you do not feel calmer, try repeating it in slightly different ways until you feel it is working!

26

skygirlsbw

Single &

Thriving! e have all been there sis, being asked questions like: you’re beautiful, why are you single? Should I set you up? What’s wrong with you? Maybe you are too picky? Are you okay? These questions make us feel like being single is a disease we should be cured from, but guess what - you are perfectly normal, perfectly OK and with the right mindset you can be perfectly single and thriving…

Peace Out Pity Party Stop feeling sorry for yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you (everyone in a relationship now was once single!) Also, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy, or to feel loved. There are people around you who love you for sure, your family, your friends, and yourself. Understand that not everyone is ready to be in a relationship. Just because your friends have boyfriends doesn’t mean you should also get one. It is absolutely OK to not be in a relationship till you’re in your twenties. It’s not a competition!

It’s All About You *Me Time*

You Get To No One Miss Save Money Bothers You Independent (Yes, Really) You get to do

There’s so much you can do with your time. You get to do all the things that make you happy. Start that YouTube channel, go watch that movie with friends, work on your goals and focus.

It helps to discover yourself on your own first, finding happiness on your own so that when you finally find someone you don’t seek happiness elsewhere. You will know your worth and attract people that will value you just as you are.

Relationships di a tura fam! Buying for one is cheaper than buying for two. You know how much money you save by being single? Those 1 month anniversary gifts, birthdays, and surprises, ke madi!

Normalize going out on solo dates and be comfortable spending money on yourself.

Yes it’s fun to spoil someone, but that’s less fun if you’re broke. Also it’s more fun to spoil yourself, lol.

whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want, without having to discuss it with anyone. Relationships require constant communication with your partner and being on the same page. If you wanna travel somewhere you can’t just make that decision alone. Being single means you don’t have to justify your decisions to anyone or check in.

You take care of yourself! Even if you do have people around you that care for you like family and friends, you are still your number one priority. You don’t have to worry about whether going to the school of your dreams will put a dent in your relationship or whether the new hobby will mean less time for your boo.

You basically get to be you, and not seek validation.

27

G

Single & Thriving rowing up can be so dizzy, all the changes happening in your body, more responsibilities, relationships:).

Yep! not just the relations you have with your friends and family, a different type of relation where you start seeing boys or girls in a certain way (H for H.E.C.T.I.C), and wanting to be more than just friends with them. There might be a certain person that wants to be more than friends with you, though you don’t feel the same way.

It happens, I know trust me I have been there, lol. It might even get to a point where all your friends start dating and you feel like the odd one out. But honestly, it’s okay not to have a partner especially if you are not ready. I mean it’s even better to stay true to yourself and focus on being the best version of yourself. Having a boo is not a requirement, it’s a choice and if you don’t feel comfortable with that it’s OK to be single.

I remember I once dated someone who thought I was too loud, too adventurous and friendly, it got to a point where

I started judging myself for just being ME,

Being single is okay and it will help you take a journey of self-love and beauty, bontle jwa gago ngwanaka ishuu. You will have more time to spend with your friends and family, join your favorite school club and so on.

uushem BoSisters never again. I

Imagine not being able to do the things you love because of a boy or girl? haii man no.

then realized that no one is worth me losing myself for. I ENDED IT! The whole thing goodbye never again. Lol

#LiveLoveAndLearn

28

skygirlsbw

ADVICE CORNE

You’ve been asking. We’ve been listening. For some advice questio translators to help us understand the other gender a little bette

Calvin Dichaba, 19

SKY:

Communication is key. Talk things out with your boy, you should both be able to trust each other and not give the other any reasons to feel insecure or jealous. Respect each other’s feelings and thoughts. If your boo tells you gore they feel some type of way, you should wonder why! This also applies to him.

Hey guys, I have a crush on one of my classmates. But ke a tshaba… I don’t know what to say or should I get over him?

J

– Shoot your shot‍.

Be upfront with him. Tell him how you feel. But don’t come on too strong, it might freak him out . Whatever his response is, you’ll get more closure than you would have

My boyfriend doesn’t like my friends who are boys. He always complains when I go and chill with them. I don’t know what to do. Help!

J

– You should talk to him because he is clearly insecure, have a heart to heart with him and tell him how what he says makes you feel. Also, reassure him and let him know he has nothing to worry about or try introducing him to these friends to build trust. I find it paramount you listen to his concerns and try to think of a way forward! Also, be cautious of how you act around those male friends, he might get jealous.

gotten from ignoring your feelings .

C

– Well, be careful of crushes because you could end up badly hurt.

I mean does he actually show interest in you or is it all in your mind? If you feel he is showing interest, go for it, or ask your closest friend if he/she sees any signs being sent your way.

Your close friend will be able to see what’s happening from an unbiased position because they don’t have a crush on him too…

I hope .

M

– Having a crush on a classmate and wanting to get into a relationship is okay. But I’d advise you to get over him! It will only make you lose focus on what’s important (which is your schoolwork).

C

– Your boyfriend is clearly insecure and has a problem trusting you or these friends. This could be due to the way you relate with these friends of yours, I mean if you tend to confide in them, he’s bound to get jealous because he wants to be the centre of your life. My advice is talk to him, ask him why it bothers him?

Does he lack trust in you?

M

– I feel like you as the girl should consider who most of the attention goes to. Give your boyfriend attention and spend less time with your male friends because you wanting to chill with your friends without giving him attention could make him feel ignored. It will also make your boyfriend feel your friends are more important, which will make him insecure.

Jerome Seboni, 18

29

ER: BOY EDITION

ons, we need to get info straight from the source. It’s time we got some boy er. And who better than our SKY guys to be up to take up the challenge. desires and leave you when he’s done or when he has found someone else “better” than you.

So just save yourself and move on before doing something you would regret in future, all because you really like the guy.

Nthuseng tlhebathong what should I get my brother for his birthday?

J

– It depends what he likes ‍. Some boys like sports and being active, while some enjoy being indoors all-day playing videogames or watching TV.

I’ve been talking to this other guy for 3 months but when I ask him what we are, he changes the subject.

Also, he sometimes ignores me then he acts like it’s nothing. But eish I really like this guy. I wanna make it work. What should I do?

J

– It seems like he doesn’t want to put a label so he either is wasting your time or has an ulterior motive. Either way you should leave him , he isn’t worth your time.

C

– Sorry but clearly, he doesn’t like you or he doesn’t want to put a label on your relationship at this moment because either:

a) he’s still choosing between you and somebody else or b) he is afraid of attachment due to a past trauma.

Whichever it is, he is not as ready as you are for the next phase in your relationship, so I suggest you break it off or just tell him to take some time to make a decision.

M

– RED FLAG!!

Leave that guy alone and move on, even if you like him.

Him changing the subject after you asking him about your relationship clearly shows he’s only talking to you because he wants something from you, which could be to satisfy his sexual

C

– I think you know your brother best, if he plays football, new soccer boots wouldn’t hurt or just something for whichever sport he plays. If he’s not a sports person, buy him a watch or shoes because boy shoes are hella expensive.

M

– Find out what your brother likes or what his hobbies are. Ask him what he likes or just sneak into his room to see for yourself . But boys usually are into sports, really love music or are artists or music producers or are really obsessed with clothes.

So just find a way to find out what he’s into and get him a nice gift.

Mthuthuzeli Harvey, 18

30

skygirlsbw

START

WHEN IS THE RIGHT Do you WANT to have sex?

Yes

No

OK, how old are you?

18 or older

17 or younger

Now is not the right time for you to have sex.

Now is not the right time for you to have sex.

It’s cool that you know right now o shapo ka sex. Because it’s cool to know yourself, your desires and your boundaries.

Sorry, but you are too young to have sex right now! There are important reasons for the laws that protect you. Girls under 18 are definitely not ready to have sex, psychologically, emotionally or physically. You will have all the time in the world to do what you want once you are an adult. Until then, don’t waste these special years by trying to grow up too fast. Take your time, and get to know yourself a little better. If your boyfriend tries to pressure you into sex, tell him it’s illegal at this age. If you love him, you wouldn’t want to put him at risk of going to prison. If you are aged 16-17 and he is within 2 years of your age, the law may be lenient on him, but it is still not worth the risk. If he loves you, he would never pressure you.

If he DOES pressure you, he doesn’t deserve you, love!

One day in the future you might start wanting to have sex. That’s perfectly natural, just take this quiz again when you do feel ready and when you want to!

Until then, stand by your choice and your decision. If anyone tries to pressure you into sex, tell them ‘ke shapo ka yone’, or use any other phrase that you vibe with and makes you feel powerful :) Re sure ka wena girl.

Do you know everything there is to know about contraceptives,...

No

Now is not the right time for you to have sex.

Sex is a big step and it’s important to know what risks you are taking. You need to be fully aware of all the contraceptive options available to you – some protect against pregnancy only, and some protect against sexually transmitted infections as well. Educate yourself about contraceptives, and speak to a doctor or nurse to find out what ones are right for you, before you take this quiz again.

If you do not get a satisfactory answer, try another one! You have the right to good healthcare :) and you have the right to know about contraceptives. Also remember that even the best contraceptive methods do not always work meaning there is still a chance you could fall pregnant.

31

T TIME TO HAVE SEX? ...you are willing to use them, and you accept the risk that you could still fall pregnant?

Yes

OK, are you in a committed relationship?

No

Now is not the right time for you to have sex.

Having sex is a physical act of love. It’s not a good idea to have sex with someone you are not in a committed, loving relationship with because it can lead to each person feeling different emotions - like what if you like him more but he doesn’t want to commit and wants to date someone else?

That feeling is horrible and you deserve better. Another reason it’s not recommended to have sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with is the higher risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection, or falling pregnant, with someone you don’t know well. We suggest you wait until you are in a relationship, then take this quiz again :)

Yes

Does your boyfriend make you feel safe, and you can talk to him openly about anything?

No

Yes

Now is not the right time for you to have sex.

You might be ready to have sex…

People choosing to have sex with each other should come together as equals, not as ‘one more powerful, one less powerful’. This means avoiding relationships that are emotionally immature, or physically or emotionally abusive, or where the guy is much older than you.

When someone is a lot older than you there is a weird power dynamic.

There are other risks with dating someone older, like a higher chance you might get a sexually transmitted infection (because he has been exposed to more risk in his life than someone younger). So we recommend that you only date people close in age to yourself, boSugar Daddy are not cute at all. Also, whoever you date, make sure you TRUST him, and you would feel able to tell him YES and NO. You deserve to feel loved and safe :)

All your answers suggest that it is OK for you to have sex, if you feel ready, safe, informed and willing. From the answers you gave, it is legal for you to have sex with your boyfriend, so he won’t be breaking the law. Remember, your body is your responsibility and you have the RIGHT to access contraceptives, to speak to adults and your boyfriend openly about your needs, desires and your feelings. Make sure you understand your own mind and body first, so that you can tell your boyfriend all about it too, and you can enjoy the experience. If you feel that anything at all doesn’t feel quite right, there’s still no rush. Listen to your heart and what it’s telling you. Good luck whatever you choose to do, and keep on being responsible and awesome :D

32

Puzzles&Games

skygirlsbw

First letter of your name

Attitude

Birthday Your job

Your birth month

Special power

A

Angry

1

Barista

January

Super speed

B

Broke

2

Hair Stylist

February

Speaks every language

C

Clumsy

3

Fashion Designer

March

Super intelligence

D

Daring

4

Chef

April

Can talk to animals

E

Excited

5

Florist

May

Friends with billionnaires

F

Friendly

6

Veterinarian

June

Super strength

G

Grumpy

7

Waitress

July

Can hear boys' thoughts

H

Hysterical

8

Actor

August

Can rap very fast

I

Iffy

9

Builder

September

Immortality

J

Jolly

10

Midwife

October

Controls magic

K

Keen

11

Insurance Broker

November

Cries diamonds

L

Lazy

12

Swimming Coach

December

Bullet proof

M

Mysterious

13

Meteorologist

N

Naughty

14

Interior Designer

O

Opinionated

15

YouTuber

P

Picky

16

Children's Entertainer

Q

Quirky

17

App Developer

R

Resilient

18

Real Estate Agent

S

Snappy

19

Choreographer

T

Tricky

20

Delivery Girl

U

Ubiquitous

21

Animator

V

Vicious

22

Film Director

W

Witty

23

Umpire

X

Xerophilous

24

Personal Trainer

Y

Yappy

25

Make-up Artist

Z

Zealous

26

Food Scientist

27

News Anchor

28

Detective

29

Author/Writer

30

Flight Attendant

31

Activist

If you were a TV character, who would you be?

Use your name, birthday, and birth month to find out: Example highlighed in yellow Neo was born on the 26th of September N - Naughty 26 - Food Scientist September - Immortality So Neo is a naughty immortal food scientist

33 WORD SCRAMBLE

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Overcome

Passionate

Smile

Strength

Thankful

Thoughtful

Positive

Wisdom

Worthy

1. AWROSRRI 2. LOLAY 3. NCIGAR 4. ETRU 5. MRTISNNEO 6. GMOITAVITN 7. FSLOIRHU 8. CEPEA 9. HELTAH 10. TUABYE

Self-Aware

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

SUDUKO PUZZLE

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9. HEALTH 10. BEAUTY

2

5. INNERMOST 6. MOTIVATING 7. FLOURISH 8. PEACE

4

1. WARRIORS 2. LOYAL 3. CARING 4. TRUE

1

34

skygirlsbw

ARIES - FEARLESS (March 21 - April 19) You are being called to embrace and channel your natural leadership traits into a passion project or empowering cause.

Something in you recognizes that your voice matters - at home, at school and in your community. Be aware that not everyone recognises the vision you are creating. However, don’t let this stop you from making your voice heard.

TAURUS - METAMORPHOSIS (April 20 - May 20) You are closing out an old thinking pattern that you used to subscribe to. You are capable of saying ‘Ke Shapo’ when you don’t like or want to do something. Embrace the change and release the old. It may feel a little awkward but trust that shedding process butterfly.

GEMINI - EXPRESS YOURSELF (May 21 - June 20) Your strength this month is your ability to access knowledge which you love sharing with everyone you know. Be aware of information overload or spreading misinformation that will lead others astray. You rule communication and your ideas are very creative. It is okay to feel misunderstood but know that there are people who get you. Gravitate towards them.

CANCER - SELF LOVE (June 21 - July 22) You may feel like your truth is invalidated by the world sometimes, like you constantly have to give up who you truly are to fit in. Trust that your uniqueness is needed, that you play a part in the growth of others and create a safe haven for people to come to when they need comfort. Before you pour into others, make sure you have poured into yourself first.

LEO - COUARGE ROARS (July 23 - August 22) You are on top of your game right now Leo, and your energy is infectious to the masses. You’ve been blessed with a big heart. You see where darkness has taken over and you know just what to say or do to shine the light into people’s lives. Do so without expecting anything in return and you will find it will come right back to you. Encourage your friends to do the same and be their best selves.

VIRGO - OPEN MIND (August 23 - September 22) Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are so used to being the one everyone comes to for advice because of your brilliant analytical skills that help you make solid decisions that play out well in the future. Feel free to receive this type of support and incorporate new perspectives from the people around you. Who knows, it may completely change your outlook, be open to it.

SKYSc

35 LIBRA - TRENDSETTER (September 23 - October 22) You have an underlying fear of conflicting with others that tends to get you stuck in situations. Break out of it, it’s a trap!

You are allowed to create your own flow. Peer pressure may be plaguing the way you live your life from how you dress, to your hobbies, to where you hang out, and even who you associate with. Learn about yourself, what you like and be proud of it. Re sure ka individuality!!!

SCORPIO - NEW EXPERIENCES (October 23 - November 21)

copes I am The Spiritual Phoenix. I give affordable personal reading, and specifically for you please contact The Spiritual Phoenix on +267 74 310 425. Inbox the page on FaceBook, Twitter, Instagram, or email spiritualphoenix@lafierte.co.uk

It’s easy to open up with, love and trust the people around you when you trust yourself first. You are very magnetic, and draw people in without even realizing it. Most people don’t know that this can be overwhelming for you. You can let people in and still maintain your boundaries. You just have to determine what you will allow and what you will not. Put your mental health first!

SAGITTARIUS - SPEAK UP (November 22 - December 21) You are often the source of optimism, bountiful wisdom and a free soul at heart. You are being called to develop yourself in something more concrete and defined in nature. What truly speaks to your heart, and who in your environment truly encourages this beautiful aspect in you? Something in you is awakening, pay attention to it.

CAPRICORN - ELEVATE YOURSELF (December 22 - January 19) If there is one sign that is very particular about the way things need to be done, it is the Capricorn. You may feel like you are expected to have everything together. You are so hard on yourself, especially when you make a mistake. Try taking time out to relax, and birth positivity and power into yourself especially when you feel unsuccessful at something. Watch the transformation happen when you do this!

AQUARIUS - GAME CHANGER (January 20 - February 18)

25%

discount for the SKY Girl readership.

Limited time only.

You are beyond your generation and sometimes you shock yourself with the hidden knowledge you have. You have some ideas that could make big waves in your environment and here you are sitting on them. Step out of the box, express your ideas, or find people who can help you express them for you. Start somewhere and watch how your world starts to embrace you even more. Remember you belong here, and you are loved.

PISCES - CREATIVE ENGIMA (February 19 - March 20) Confidence and high self-esteem look so good on you, because you have recognized what makes your soul happy. You don’t cling to toxic things anymore. What you have learnt is powerful and many are still learning how to achieve this. You are more at ease and feed your mind, body and soul at will. Hello emotional freedom!

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Every Saturday 12.30pm on RB2