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Breaking her bonds After moving from home to home for the majority of her childhood, Counseling Office Secretary Jamie Bonds chose to dedicate her career to helping students find the strength to overcome their struggles.
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ounseling Office Secretary Jamie Bonds was 14 when her mother shook her awake at 2 a.m.
BY LOUISE PLATTER Variety Writer
14. It was a way to forget about what I was going through.” Because of her misbehavior, Bonds left her eighth grade teacher and moved for the fifth time to live with a foster family in Camden, N.J. After facing abandonment repeatedly she began searching for a way to gain a constant figure in her life. “When people come into your life and say, ‘I’m going to be here for you,’ and then they aren’t, it gets to the point where you don’t trust anyone. You don’t think that anyone’s going to be there for you, and so my 16-year-old mind thought, ‘Maybe I should have a baby; my baby’s not going to leave,’” Bonds said. Bonds had her first child when she was 17 years old and her foster mother allowed her to move into an apartment with the child’s father. The young couple worked multiple jobs and paid their own bills while struggling to graduate from Camden High School. “For him, it was a lot. He was completely responsible for me and we were struggling. He decided that he was going to join the military and I thought, ‘He’s gonna go to bootcamp and come back and we’re gonna have a wonderful life,’” Bonds said. “So, he went to boot camp and stayed in touch, but he finally felt a sense of freedom. He was finally able to breathe without this responsibility, so our relationship ended.” After the relationship ended, when Bonds was 18 years old, she and her child had nowhere to go. The child’s father no longer cared for them and she could not return to her foster home because she was no longer a child. Bonds and her daughter stayed in a hotel for three weeks using the money that Bonds had saved, however, as the funds dwindled she was forced to make a decision
“Where’s your key?” “It’s on the dresser!” “Get out.” After this, Bonds was alone on the frozen Philadelphia streets.
Featured: SHOWING STRENGTH: Counseling Office Secretary Jamie Bonds’ desire to pursue counseling is fueled by her drive to help students. “I know that the passion that she has for the work she’s doing, for counseling, it comes from her upbringing and not the things that she had, but the things that she didn’t have,” Bonds’ close friend Kela Griffith said.
Below: A HELPING HAND: Counseling Office Secretary Jamie Bonds assists students in ways beyond her job description. “I’m so glad that I can share my experiences with others so that they know that they will be okay. It’s like offering a glimmer of hope,” Bonds said. Photo by Maria Velasquez
Bonds’ childhood was marked by uncertainty. She grew up in various foster homes until she was 18 years old and the only constant in her life was instability. “I was the product of an affair, so I was always a secret. My dad’s wife never knew anything about me,” Bonds said. “He’s an attorney with kids and they lived a great life while I was out here by myself, alone and struggling.” Bonds was born in Philadelphia, along with two other siblings. When she was two years old, she was sent to Athens, Ga., to live with her cousin. However, 10 years later Bonds’ cousin could no longer take care of her. “I went to stay with my younger sister’s adopted mom, but she wasn’t prepared because I was actually just going to visit,” Bonds said. “Then the day that I was supposed to go home (my cousin) called and said, ‘She can’t come back because I can’t take care of her no more.’” After briefly staying with her sister’s family, Bonds was sent to live with her biological mother for several years, despite their strained and difficult relationship. “My mom and I didn’t have a relationship because she was kind of hurt over some things that my dad had done. Since I was the product of an affair, when she looked at me, I reminded her of him,” Bonds said. Bonds left her mother and was placed in a foster care institution when she was 14. From there, her eighth grade teacher took her in. Bonds stayed with her for nearly a year and a half, but the living situation became unsustainable due to Bonds’ rebellious behavior. “I had a lot of issues. I was dealing with a lot of hurt. I don’t think that she was prepared for that. I was a good girl from what she saw in school, but behind the scenes there was a lot of pain,” Bonds said. “She did the best that she could, but I did a lot of rebelling because I thought that she was another person who would reject me.” Bonds’ behavior spiralled out of control. She was depressed and began drinking alcohol frequently with friends. “There were times when I tried to commit suicide and there were periods where I did a lot of drinking,” Bonds said. “I was pretty much an alcoholic at Photo by Porter McLeod
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come in at 7:30 a.m, I’d clock out at 2 p.m. and then work until 4:30 p.m. for that was best for herself and her child. free. He ended up hiring me.” “I decided to move back to Athens. I got on a plane and I had a bottle, three Bonds worked at the nursing home for about a year, during which she was diapers, and $100, but I was determined that I was going to make it,” Bonds able to save enough money to buy a car. Because of this, she was able to look said. for jobs outside of her immediate area. She took a position at Pilgrim’s Pride, Bonds and her young daughter moved into public housing. Despite being a chicken plant, where she worked for 12 years. It was during this time Bonds without work, Bonds was determined that public housing would be temporary began to recover from her turbulent past. for her. “The turning point “I’ll never forget, for me was when I a lady was asking me was 26 years old. I some questions and I “It was like I had been carrying baggage, and that day went to a concert and was telling her, ‘This is it was as if I was dropping the bags and letting it go. I there was a performer only temporary for me, there called Kurt until I can do better,’ said, ‘I’ve been depressed for 26 years, but I refuse to Franklin. He had a and she just gave me live another day like that.’” song called Imagine this look like, ‘Yeah, Me and in the song right, that’s what they the lyrics were, all say,’” Bonds said. -- JAMIE BONDS, “Imagine me being Bonds realized that Counseling Office Secretary over what my momma she could not look for did, and being over a job without a place what my daddy did. for her daughter to go. Depression is gone, and low self esteem is gone,’” Bonds said, “What he was She was then living alone and didn’t know anyone in town or have any money. saying was all of the stuff in my life that I lived and I had experienced.” Bonds managed to work out a deal with a daycare provider that gave her free The song inspired Bonds to let go of her haunting past and begin to move childcare for two weeks while she searched for a job. After the two weeks were forward in her life. up, she would need to pay them back. “It was like I had been carrying baggage and that day it was as if I was drop“I went to every business on Hawthorne Avenue. Finally, I went into Athens ping the bags and letting it go. I said, ‘I’ve been depressed for 26 years, but Heritage Nursing Home and it turned out that they were hiring,” Bonds said. I refuse to live another day like that.’ So that’s my philosophy in life. I’m not “Their schedule was 5 a.m. to 2 p.m. so I told him that if he could allow me to going to let anything get me down,” Bonds said. “People say, ‘You’re always happy, you’re always smiling.’ Well, I’ve lived 26 years in my own hell and I Photo courtesy of Jamie Bonds refuse to go back there.” After her epiphany, Bonds decided to pursue counseling in order to help teenagers who are going through problems similar to her own. Bonds had always been interested in the field but she had not believed that it was an option for her. “I think it was meant to be for her. It goes back her whole life and I think she just wants to give back and make sure teenagers know that there’s other options, and things that happen to you in life that are bad don’t have to define the adult that you’re going to become,” Bond’s close friend Kela Griffith said. Bonds is successful in reaching out to teenagers, despite the fact that she is not one of the four counselors. “The counselors call her the fifth counselor because people always come in to see her throughout the day. People don’t even come in to see their counselor, they want to talk to her. She’s a very good resource for them,”
Left: FAMILY LEGACY: Counseling Office Secratary Jamie Bonds graduated from Woodrow Wilson High School when her daughter, Shaquira McGrath, was one year old. Bonds hopes to inspire her daughter to achieve higher education after high school. “My daughter just went off to college and I want her to say, ‘My mom’s not giving up, I’m not giving up either,’” Bonds said.
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senior Jackie Gordon said. CCHS students are not the only ones who are 2012 iliad literary-art magazine appreciative of Bonds’ position in the counseling office. Monique Douglas, a close friend of Bonds whom she met when she worked at Pilgrim’s Pride, believes that Bonds has found the right place. “That’s what she wanted to do; she wanted to counsel young people and be in a place where she could talk to kids, encourage them and help them with some of the things that they face. She wanted to encourage them that they can do it,” Douglas said. According to Bonds, counseling is right for her because she can empathize with teenagers who are facing similar issues to the ones that she did. “I love being able to interact with teenagers. any of you know me as Ms. Bonds, or the lady from the Counseling Office. Those that know I like to work with kids and try to understand me know that most of the time I have a smile on my face. I love to laugh and have a good the struggles that they’re going through because time. What you don’t know about me is, like many of you, behind the smile, at one time, I’ve been through it. I feel like I can relate in that there was a lot of hurt and pain. If you really knew me, you would know you would know that I grew up in foster care and spent sense,” Bonds said. many nights crying, wondering why my mother didn’t want me and why my father denied me. Douglas also believes that students have a subIf you really knew me, you would know that for many years I suffered from low self-esteem. I never felt good enough. Never felt pretty enough. stantial amount that they can learn from Bonds. If you really knew me you would know that because I felt that no one loved me, I didn’t love my“You can learn from her that you can do anyself so at the age 14, I struggled with alcohol abuse with hopes that the alcohol would drown out the thing you want if you’re patient, that your dreams pain but when the effects of the alcohol wore off the hurt was still there so, at the age of 15 I tried to commit suicide thinking that’s the only way to completely end the pain. will come to you and that you should never give If you really knew me you would know, through my quest of looking for love in all the wrong up on your dreams because they’re all you’ve got,” places, I became pregnant at the age of 16, and spent some time homeless with my daughter at the age of 18. Douglas said. If you really knew me, you would know that I made a decision not to be a statistic; that I was going Gordon is grateful that she met Bonds due to fight to make a change. I had to fight for my life. My daughter needed me. I decided that I’d spent to the guidance and teaching that Bonds had too many years feeling sorry for myself. It was time for me to live. Time to be happy and I refused to live another day sad, stressed, or depressed. provided her. So, if you really know me now, you would know that as of today, I am a survivor, I am stronger, I “(Bonds) taught me that if I want it, I can do am wiser and my life has changed. it. Whatever it is that I need, I can get it as long as Jamie Bonds, I know that I have to work for it. If I know that, I Counseling Office Secretary can get past anything,” Gordon said. According to Griffith, Bonds helps students break out of the situations that they are born into. “She lets the kids know that there’s a whole world out there despite what’s going on in their personal lives. She tells them that there’s a whole world out there to explore and they can do anything that they want to do,” Griffith said. In the future, Bonds hopes to go into counseling and, ultimately, open a shelter for people who do not have a place to live or to learn basic life skills. “I want the shelter to teach things that they 14 birth don’t get, being raised in foster care, like how to cook, clean, wash clothes, how to dress for an interview or going to college. I would like to have a live-in facility so that they have the opportunity to learn those things, not just a Above: HONEST REFLECTIONS: Bonds shared her story in the 2012 volume of the iliad Literary Art Magazine. “I think she’s really passionate about kids, typical shelter where you just stay,” Bonds said. especially young adults... because when she was a young adult she endured a lot According to Douglas, Bonds’ fortitude and strength is exceptional. of things and I think it’s her way of giving back,” Bonds’ close friend Kela Griffith “Most people would have given up, most people would have had a pity party said. and said, ‘Nobody loves me, I’m not gonna make it, nobody cares.’ But she did Photo courtesy of ilad Literary Art Magazine it,” Douglas said. For now, Bonds wants to continue to share her story in hopes of inspiring teenagers who feel that their futures are uncertain. “I want to be living proof that you can come out of it and that you can be okay. It’s hard when you don’t have a parent at all but you can do it. That’s what I want to let people know,” Bonds said. “You can do it, you can make it, you don’t have to settle for less. I’m not ashamed of where I came from because it’s who I am. If I never went through anything I wouldn’t be able to help somebody else.”
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