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By Very Reverend Michael Demkovich, OP, Episcopal Vicar for Doctrine & Life
“B
less me Father for I have...” From about third grade on, this phrase has initiated most of my childhood, adolescent and adult conversations on sin and grace in my life. But I am not alone. Many people have come to appreciate and value the sacrament of penance as a grace for living an adult faith. What do I mean? When we are young, our faith comes to us from the outside in. Our parents teach us the prayers, they take us to Mass, tell us about the sacraments and about the holy women and men who have gone before us. But adult faith can’t be lived like that. Adult faith must come from the inside out. It is lived from the “interior mansions” as St. Teresa of Ávila tells us, or the “cell of self-knowledge” as Catherine of Siena speaks of it. Adult faith is our
PEOPLE of GOD
encounter with the true self, the inner person, who encounters the mystery of God in the secret chambers of one’s heart. Regrettably, some adults have a hard time growing up when it comes to their Catholic faith. Rather than understand it as an adult, they abandon it like some toy from their childhood. Jesus tells us to be childlike in our faith, not to be childish. Adult faith demands of us an adult understanding. So, what does it mean for us to appreciate confession, the sacrament of reconciliation, as an adult? The “Catechism of the Catholic Church” tells us that “Sin is before all else an offense against God, a rupture of communion with Him. At the same time, it damages communion with the Church” (#1440). In one sense, we risk breaking our communion with God and the Body of Christ, the Church. It is less about what we did that was wrong and so much more about letting go of the evil and reaching out to our loving God. It is much more about restoring and renewing us to a relationship of love, both divine and human. I’d even say this, God doesn’t care about the “laundry list” of the bad things I’ve done. No! God cares if I am truly sorry and if I genuinely want to come home, to be restored to grace. Oh, we may need to do a thorough examination of our conscience to be aware of how and why we have wandered away. However, unless I discover in the very depth of my being a genuine desire to
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be with God, to be forgiven and to be re-united with God and with the Body of Christ, the Church, we miss the point. So what is the sacrament really all about? There are three critical aspects of our being truly penitent. First, we must be “contrite of heart,” that is to have a genuine interior sorrow for the wrong done and to resolve to avoid it, to genuinely be free of it. Secondly, one must confess one’s sins. This is a moment of genuine honesty and personal integrity, a moment of humble self-awareness. A good confessor knows the ground being walked upon is sacred, and a good penitent trust in the grace at work in the sacrament. And third, “one must do what is possible in order to repair the harm” (#1459). This is a simple demand of justice, to make right the wrong we’ve done if we are able. There is no easy, cheap grace and it is the immature penitent who thinks just going to confession is a “get out of jail free” card. In addition, one must make spiritual amends in the satisfaction called penance. This means in fact returning, restoring or compensating those injured, if possible, and doing penance. St. Thomas tells us that a good penance should be medicinal, it ought to help restore one’s spiritual health. So contrition, confession and satisfaction are essential. It can be a challenge to take the time, prayer and honest reflection to really enter the grace of the sacrament, but adult faith
