OF the month OF the month
magazine magazine issue 03 december 08
issue 03 december 08
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pow!
kablooey!
kablooey!
the “wazzzup christmas issue!! the “wazzzup christmas issue!! image from jboicet
image from jboicet
im a christmas present! yay! well hi there! welcome to otms unofficial happy birthday jesus slash shoutout to all our jewish homies issue! well hopefully you’re enjoying all our issues, otherwise you wouldn’t be here now would you?! no, no you would not! hahah! or should i say, ho ho ho! yes yes i know, i am so witty! okay anyways, this issue is chock full of lovely winter goodies! GOOoodies! so curl up next to the fire, and while you’re there roast some chestnuts, and open up otm as a pdf on your laptop of course. so without further adieu, merry christmas! happy hanukkah! happy new years!
and have a bitchin boxing day!
al elle n! top5
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MERRY
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s e i v ! drink, mo
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CHRISTMAS!
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FLY MY babies!! fly!! hahAAAAH hasklahhahah ksajdsl;fj!11!!!! PAGE 1 - MOVIes otm page 3 - city otm page 5 - cheap date otm page 6 - diy otm page 7 - album otm page 8 - artist otm page 10 - playlist otm page 11 - enemy otm page 12 - drink otm page 13 - video game otm page 14 - top 5 otm page 15 - so long! farewell! auf wiedersehen, goodbye!
movies of the month ReNT BY JASON SeE BY JULIE
To See: Role Models, Paul Rudd/Sean William Scott If you thought McLovin was awkward in Super Bad just wait till you see his character in Role Models. If you are the person who laughs out loud at 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, then this movie is definitely perfect for you. This movie is about two guys who go from school to school to get kids to drink their energy drinks instead of doing drugs. Somehow their truck gets stuck on top of the school’s mascot statue! They are sentenced to 150 hours of community service at this children’s program called Sturdy Wings. The lady in charge of the program was also the boss at the electric store in 40 Year Old Virgin, so you know this will be a good laugh. She used to be addicted to heroin and crack and came from the joint. To turn her life around she started this program for children. Paul Rudd gets paired off with McLovin who, of course, has no friends, and plays medieval warriors on the weekends. Sean William Scott gets paired off with this crazy black kid who is hilarious. It then goes on to the events that these duos share together. I won’t give too much away, but at the end, KISS costumes a are used during a medieval tournament to slay the king. Go SEE THIS MOVIE. It is hilarious and Paul Rudd has very good improv. You will laugh your socks off!
Not To See: Zack and Miri Make a Porno, Seth Rogan/Elizabeth Banks This movie was funny, don’t get me wrong, but I think the whole movie can be summed up in the title. Seth Rogan was hilarious as usual, but this movie just didn’t have a good enough plot. Zack and Miri have been best friends since elementary school and they have been living together since they finished high school. They have run out of money, and they need to think of a way to get it fast. What do they come up with is to make a porno of course. Believe me, you actually think you are watching legit porn. This movie used extreme language. For example, the F word was used every other word. If you want to see the movie that bad wait till rental because it is no knocked up or 40 Year Old Virgin. The real question is, do Zack and Miri end up having feelings for each other or not? Well that is for you to find out! -jf
To Rent: March of the Penguins, Morgan Freeman True to the holiday theme, I decided to watch a movie having vaguely to do with Christmas, though having a lot to do with very cold weather. Though some have tried to convince me otherwise, I don’t believe penguins necessarily signify the holidays, though their unbelievable cuteness is always a welcome sight. Thus, I believe that Luc Jacquet’s “March of the Penguins” to be a great movie to rent for the month of December. The film, narrated by Morgan Freeman, examines the Emperor Penguins yearly march to their traditional breeding site. While lacking spectacular explosions, flying cars, and other visual stimuli, March of the Penguins does an extraordinarily good job at keeping you glued to the poor lil’ guys’ perilous journey to their breeding site. The wonderful camera work and spot on narration work together to capture the difficulty of the journey and the harshness of the environment while at the same time retaining the beauty of the landscape, keeping the environment from seeming entirely alien. Once the penguins arrive at their destination, the danger doesn’t even begin to relent. From this point on, the documentary depicts the courtships of the penguins, the resulting egg and incubation, and the growth of the baby penguins. Jacquet shows the audiences the incredibly difficult process Emperor Penguins undergo in order to simply propagate their species. Everything from the biting cold to avian predators and leopard seals thwart the species’ chances of survival. All these things very effectively pull at your heartstrings and make what is already most likely a considerable love of penguins grow even further. The amazing and complex relationships penguin pairs have with each other is very heartwarming (though as Jacquet and other biologists will remind you, penguins are serial monogamists) and is all in all choc a bloc full of cuddly moments. Despite the cuddliness, the documentary pulls no
punches when confronting the audience with the harsh realities of Antarctic life, including some rather depressing bit involving baby penguins. For the most part, the narration and spectacular footage do an amazing job of affecting your sensibilities while inspiring you with wonder and awe at the determination and endurance of these marvelous birds. Even if you’re not a huge penguin fan, the true to life nature of the documentary and its appreciation for the majesty of the Antarctic landscape are more than enough to warrant a rental.
Not to Rent: Star Wars Holiday Special As you might expect from a monthly periodical, several of our articles feature themes corresponding to the month we release. It should be no surprise then that I’ve chosen a holiday themed movie for this month’s “Not to Rent” category. However, this month is special, as this “Not to Rent” flick is so bad you probably won’t find it in your local Blockbuster, though I’m willing to bet at least some of you have heard of it. So, for this month and this month only, this article is titled the “Do Not Ever See Unless You Want All the Reason And Happiness Siphoned From Your World”. Ah, perfect. This month’s movie is “Star Wars Holiday Special”, perhaps the most embarrassingly bad movie to ever come out of a truly successful saga. The plot, for the most part, is utterly incoherent, the acting feels phoned in (with a few exceptions), and the script is at the same time saccharine and insane. If I could establish a proper analogy to how directionless this movie is, I would say it’s kind of like a spider monkey that is stoned out of his mind on acid trying to pantomime all acts of Macbeth at once. It’s the kind of stuff that makes Hunter Thompson look like an upstanding citizen. Anyway, it’s time to ridicule the plot.
The movie opens with Chewbacca and Han Solo in the cockpit of his spaceship, trying desperately to outrun the Empire and make it back in time for “Life Day” celebrations, the godless Wookie equivalent to Christmas. After ensuring the audience that there is a strong chance that Chewie might not make it home for Life Day, the scene cuts back to the soon to be familiar faces of Chewie’s family on the Wookie home-world of Kashyyyk, revealing that Chewie’s wife Malla, his father-in-law Itchy, and his appropriately named son Lumpy all wait with bated breath for Chewbacca’s return. What ensues is five minutes of uninterrupted Wookie family bonding, all without the benefit of subtitles. Chewbacca’s home is where most of the action and dialogue take place, giving the Star Wars fans a glimpse of what the Wookie home-world might have looked like. While anything named “Holiday Special” immediately sends up red flags about a show quality, the rustic home of the Wookie family shows how the special’s creators wasted an opportunity to expand upon the rich Star Wars universe. Though I can’t give all the details to movie, as I simply don’t have the space, I will tell you that peppered throughout the film are several highly surreal music and dance sequences that are reminiscent of Cirque de Soleil performances, though they do seem rather “mushroomed out” (much like the “Knocked Up” sequences). The audience also witnesses a suspiciously out of it Carrie Fisher, an inexcusable singing performance by Bea Arthur (which was just an assault to the senses), and several horribly acted performances by some of Star Wars’ most recognizable icons. The one gem in the two-hour nightmare is a ten-minute long animated feature introducing the character of Boba Fett (that’s right folks, he actually got his start here). Though the animation is not spectacular, the short actually gives an idea what the rest of the film could have done with the Star Wars expanded universe given the right direction and creativity. All in all, the Star Wars Holiday Special fails to fulfill even its most microscopic potential, instead creating a variety-show-esque piece of crap. I suggest steering well away from this movie, as well as committing anyone who wishes to show it to anyone else. A most definite Not to Rent. -js
So, far this month, I’ll be reviewing Los Angeles, where I spent two years of my life attending UCLA. A big city (a very big city), Los Angeles has quite a bit to offer, though finding it isn’t easy, since the city is quite expansive. Unlike other large cities which have built up, Los Angeles has built out, resulting in a sprawling suburban metropolis, with a rather small downtown. As a result, getting anywhere is a bit more difficult because of the sheer distance between locations. Traveler beware, traffic can be absolutely abysmal, so check your traffic reports, and make sure to absolutely avoid the highways at rush hour, since it will almost always be terrible.
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Logistics aside, Los Angeles can be a traveler’s dream. There is simply a ton of things to do. If you want to spend some time on the west side, I recommend visiting the campus of my alma mater (UCLA, if you forgot already), and taking pictures of Royce Hall; it’s cliché I know, but too damn gorgeous to pass up. The sculpture garden isn’t too far off, and is pleasant enough for a stroll. After UCLA, one can walk down to Westwood, and grab some lunch at Novel Café, located along Gayley Ave, between Weyburn and Wilshire. Or if you have a sweet tooth to satisfy, grab a home-made ice cream cookie sandwich for ridiculously cheap prices at Diddy Riese (Cash Only). There are also an absurd amount of sushi restaurants. I haven’t really been able to tell the difference between one place and another in terms of quality, though they are all fairly good. If high fashion is your thing, you can head over to Beverly Hills, and check out Rodeo Drive. If you actually plan on buying anything, rob a bank first, or be prepared to sacrifice the sales equivalent of your right arm. With the big prices come the big names, and there are quite a few here, which makes for some great window shopping for those who aren’t willing to contract their first born child for a purse.
the griddle cafe If one isn’t looking to spend some time in the locale of that popular Weezer song, then they could head down to West Hollywood, where they could eat at Griddle Café. The wait can be quite long on the weekends for parties larger than two, but it is definitely worth it. The menu features a wide array of pancake concoctions, most of them rather unhealthy but delicious, and an equally broad array of other culinary delights. Bring an appetite, or a hungry pack animal, because the portions are simply enormous. The prices are extremely reasonable, and probably the best bang for your buck in West Hollywood. Afterwards, take some time to explore all the shops that West Hollywood has to offer, although prudes may want to be on their guard. For the more sexually liberated, there are plenty of kinky shops for those of any persuasion. Honestly, I am only going to mention Third Street and its wonderful street performers because I have to stop somewhere. If you plan on visiting Los Angeles, do yourself a favor and grab a guide book, Lonely Planet is recommended, and check out everything through there. I also recommend grabbing a Zagat’s guide book for Southern California, and checking out some of the top restaurants through there (Orris is my favorite). Or just simply wing it, and visit some popular locations and nightclubs (try to avoid the more dodgy places at night). Los Angeles is a huge playground, so go out and have fun. Just don’t get any sand in your pants. -ja
rodeo drive
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of the MONTH by allison No, giving them a happy meal and telling them, that is their treat for the month doesn't count. This month's cheap date will be a Christmas Light Dinner. What is a Christmas Light Dinner you ask? Well read on and you shall find out. All this date will be requiring is:
1. Christmas Season with Hot Cocoa 2. Twinkle Lights or tea lights (caution might set house ablaze!) 3. Dinner for two 4. Dessert One. You can’t have a Christmas light dinner without the Christmas season. Or else it would just be a light dinner. And who really wants that, besides people on a diet? In order for the date to work it has to be set in the Christmas season. Now you’re probably thinking, ‘what does hot cocoa have to do with the Christmas season?’ Everything. You are going to prepare the hot cocoa just before your date arrives and place it in two to-go cups or thermoses with mini marshmallows at hand. Two. On to decorating. Take some twinkle lights and hang them up, as to set the mood (which is romantic in case you didn’t catch that). If wanting to make it blatantly obvious you are into the person, or just want some action, light candles. I suggest tea lights as they are cheap and come in various scents, or unscented if you want the aroma of dinner to do the work. Three. As I see it, the most important part in the Christmas Light Dinner, is the dinner. This time we shall be making spaghetti and bread. However if dinner rolls around and you have noticed you are completely put off by your date or you are both so infatuated with each other you don’t care about each other’s breath, make it garlic bread. Boil some water in a
pot then when starts bubbling add a few pinches of salt and the pasta. Then take the pasta sauce and heat up in a sauce pan over low heat. Once noodles are cooked and sauce is hot, combine to make spaghetti. For the bread, buy some breadsticks from the market or Pillsbury breadsticks and bake in oven, to give the homemade effect. If you want bad breath and deliciousness, chop up garlic and put it in a bowl with butter, and place in the microwave for 30 seconds and spread over dough before baking. Four. Now for the sweet treat you have been looking forward to all night. Dessert. When shopping for the ingredients for this marvelous date you are going to want to pick up some cookies, I advise Lofthouse frosted sugar cookies from Albertsons. Amazing! Or if wanting your date to think you’re the new age Betty Crocker, buy the pull apart Pillsbury cookies and bake. Just as good as if made from scratch. Now that you know the steps you can put them all together. So, when you go pick up your date or when your date arrives, you hand the hot cocoa over and inform them that you are taking him/her to look at Christmas lights. You can walk around and view the general splendor of neighborhood houses decorated for Christmas. However if lazy or cold, I suggest driving. Once done return to your house and the first thing you’ll see shall be the lights, making the house sparkle. Once settled in, serve up the food and enjoy. -aa
Anywho, this is a craft for the uncoordinated, the lazy, the cheap, and the true master of procrastina So turn on the kettle and get some tunes rockin’, ‘cause the days are ticking till Santa comes a-knockin’! Merry Christmas!
DIY do it yourself
of the month
by kristina
The “Now-That-Obama-Is-Pres-We’re-Hoping-for-a-Bit-More-Peace” Ornament Well, election season has come and gone, leaving us with cooler weather, a considerably lesser amount of anxiety, and a heck of a lot more term papers. Of course, if there is anything that twenty-somethings are good at, it is the art of procrastination. And when I am fending off the terror that only a 15-page Spanish paper on magical realism can bring, I usually find myself doing extremely inappropriate things. Like driving to Michael’s and purchasing large amounts of colored paper and things like magenta speckled yarn and tiny canvases that I will never use. My most recent let’s-evade-finals purchase was a considerable amount of felt and some sequins. Which is when the Obama ornament was born! (I will use any excuse to mention the man’s name, really).
You will need: A spool of brightly colored thread Needle Scissors One sheet of white feel, one sheet of different colored felt Sequins, small bells and other assorted trinkets Quilt stuffing Ribbon 1. Cut two circles from the white felt. 2. Cut a Y shape with a line through the middle for the peace part (see picture) from the other color of felt and sew it onto one of the white circles. 3. Sew trinkets onto Y shape: the more, the merrier! 4. Sew the two felt circles together by hand, leaving about two inches unsewn. 5. Stuff a generous amount of quilt stuffing into the ornament. 6. Sew up the remaining two inches of ornament. 7. Fold a piece of ribbon into a loop and sew the bottom onto the back of the ornament.
Mr. President Elect would be proud! Now let’s all sing along with Mr. Lennon and the kids to urge on the process: “War is over, if you want it…” -ks
by andres
OF THE MONTH
lbum
Gish - The Smashing Pumpkins The Pumpkin’s debut album was the coolest thing to hit the record stores in the early 90’s. That is, until Nirvana released Nevermind a few months later. Both albums were produced by Butch Vig, who really knew how to turn loud distorted music into sweet sounding pop. While Gish didn’t reach the critical acclaim or the commercial success of Nevermind, it gave the Pumpkins a name and let the world know what a ridiculously great guitarist Billy Corgan is. Rumor has it Corgan was such a perfectionist that he played all of the instruments (except for the drums) while recording the album. Even if this seems like a really douchy thing to do to your band-mates, it doesn’t change the fact that he was a genius when it came to song arrangement. The transitions from a face-melting solo to a soft dreamy psychedelic trip out become a Billy Corgan trademark that establishes him as one of the best guitarists of his time. Even though Gish is an album that is heavily influenced by Black Sabbath, it is far from being just another Sabbath copy. The album is full of dreamy psychedelic undertones, probably due to the fact that the band was experimenting with LSD at the time. To go along with that 60’s spirit, the entire band even looked like hippies. Everyone wore ridiculous clothes and everyone’s hair went below their shoulders. Hippies or not, it doesn’t change the fact that the Pumpkins knew how to control the energy of their songs. Songs like “Rhinoceros” and “Snail” start off soft and dreamy, but they eventually build up to epic, anthemic rockers. This album offers listeners a healthy dose of solos, hooks, metal riffs, and a state of pure bliss. It will even cleanse your soul. Seriously. -apv
AA RTIST R T IS T of the month by kaitlin
artist OTM layout and artwork by jon reimers
CHRISTMAS!!! SANTA! ELVES! SNOW! These are all things that have everything to do with December and nothing to do with our Artist of the Month. With that said, our artist this month is my paly pal Jonathan Reimers, better known as Jon Reimers, better known as Reimers. Reimers is really cool because he took me to a two story Chuck E. Cheese in San Jose. TWO STORIES! I didn’t even know those existed, but Reimers showed me the light. It was dankalicious. But enough about two story Chuck E. Cheeses and more about me. Just kidding, more about Reimers. Reimers is awesome. He brings it on like Donkey Kong. A super duper senior at Cal Poly and a major in Gaphic Communication (woop woop!), Reimers is the man! Or should I say THA MAN! From co founding his own creative crew (Vitamins and Minerals) to throwing up installations and designs, Reimers does it all. So read on and get the exclusive OTM scoop on this fine, young, and sexy (for all you ladies out there) man. PS he loves TABs, so all you tabalicious ladies hit him up! -kj
What medium do you usually use/ prefer? I usually design stuff for print, but I love just getting my hands dirty with some spray cans and breathing through a respirator. Some of the best things come in cans and pressurized paint is no exception. My first true love though was screen-printing.There’s something truly special about printing with nylon, ink and a squeegee. Plus screen-printing shirts has its own value, people wear it, cling to it as it clings to them, and it sort of lives with the person. I like that, and feel very special when I see people wear shirts that I’ve designed.
forte, I like big type, super saturated colors, totally giving your eyeballs a bitchslap. I have been trying to balance it out though, because a great designer can’t just play the same game and expect to win all the time. So I’m still evolving for sure and I don’t think I’m that great to be a “style” yet.
Do you have any influences? Or do you have any artists you hate and aspire not to be like?
I have a few that I would like to list: RubensLp, 123Klan,Alphonse Mucha, and my entire VetM crew. RubensLp stuff just blows my mind all the time, I would love to definitely fly to Brazil and meet the man. He’s going to be doing some big things in the When did you get in to making art? future he’s so talented. 123Klan is just inspiring how And why? they turned their graffiti skills into graphic design skills Since I can remember I’ve always been trying to plus their style is pretty dope. Mucha is just a legend, make stuff and modify my toys to make them cooler. but looking at his work makes me want to drink Back in the day I remember kickin it with my best friend, Jamal during recess making up super heroes and absinthe and smoke. My VetM crew is just nasty like that, they never cease to amaze me with the shit they drawing them out.They looked like shit, but hey my create.That drives me to step my game up and inspire imagination has always been going since I could look them so it’s a very good thing we got going on. up from my crib and see stuff in the popcorn ceiling above. I didn’t really get in to it until college because Do you come from the land down studying mechanical engineering bored the hell out under? Where women glow and men of me. So I switched to graphic communication, I plunder? should’ve gone to graphic design, but its too late now, I don’t understand this question, but I’m from San I graduate on the 13th! I’ll still be a kick ass designer Jose, capital of Silicon Valley.The women definitely no worries. glow after an AMF and creepers try to plunder at Tiki
What style would you consider yourself? Do you consider yourself a style?
lounge.
I can only say that I like in your face shit. I like bold, strong expression in whatever I do. Subtlety isn’t my
Definitely would love to be able to design for people specifically seeking what I have to offer and just tell me to do my thing. Until then I’m content
Do you want to go into a career where you can use your art?
with taking design decisions from those who pay. I love What does it take to become a great being able to pay the bills and everyone has to start artist? somewhere. My ideal job would be running with VetM I think you need great influences to be a great artist. doing the stuff that we do and getting paid for it. Seek greatness to be great. Plus be honest. Everyone Tell me about Vitamins and Minerals benefits from honesty. Vitamins and Minerals or VetM as I like to call it started as a creative collaboration with my roommate and me.We were really into the same type of stuff and fed on each other’s creativity.We started to make shirts and random art installations.We pretty much just did what we felt like doing.We added three more friends to join the madness and we are now the creative super crew you see today.VetM now is pretty much a fellowship for us to follow our creative dreams. I like to think we enrich ourselves and other people’s lives in the process. Hence the name,Vitamins and Minerals
Isn’t Kaitlin the bestest friend ever? Kaitlin is pretty best as friends go. I was pretty angry when she couldn’t introduce me to any hot scene girls last summer, but I’ll get over it some day. I would just like to thank her though, and OTM for this interview! Please check out www.vetm-design.com for news and updates from the VetM Crew.
Of the month by kristina
1. Fairytale of New York- The Pogues 2. Donna and Blitzen- Badly Drawn Boy 3. Hula Hoop/ The Christmas Song- Alvin and the Chipmunks 4. Happy Christmas, War Is Over- John Lennon 5. A Long December- Counting Crows 6. Only At Christmas Time- Sufjan Stevens 7. The Holly and the Ivy- George Winston 8. Maybe This Christmas- Ron Sexsmith 9. No Place Like Home for the Holidays- The Carpenters 10. Hard Candy Christmas- Dolly Parton 11. Baby It’s Cold Outside- Ella Fitzgerald and Ray Charles 12. Snow- Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen 13. Merry Christmas Baby- Otis Redding 14. River- Joni Mitchell 15. O Holy Night- Josh Groban 16. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas- Judy Garland 17. The Christmas Waltz- Frank Sinatra 18. Christmas Time Is Here (vocals)- Vince Guaraldi Trio 19. The Winter Song- Eisley 20. The Christmas Song- Dave Matthews Band 21. Night of Silence- The Tartantones 22. Little Drummer Boy/ Peace on Earth- Bing Crosby and David Bowie **Bonus track: Kentucky Homemade Christmas- Kenny Rogers
Christmas time is here once more! And what better way to celebrate than with an authentic December play-list that reminds us of what has been, (Judy Garland singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas— c’mon now, who hasn’t stayed up late on Christmas night watching Meet Me in St. Louis with the fam?) what is to come, (John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas, War Is Over,” we hope) and the bliss of the present moment (we southern Californians are thanking our lucky stars that “Baby It’s Cold Outside” might actually apply now that the temperature has dropped below the 80s). As I write this, I am fending off the sounds of three different computers and one stereo blasting off their own choice of carols. Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas in the Simes household without noise. Or my mother dancing to “Kentucky Homemade Christmas” while wearing huge lobster oven mitts and yelling at us to help her with the pies. So I included “Kentucky Homemade Christmas” as a bonus track, because I know that it is certainly a tune that can grow on you. Say, after like twenty-two Christmases of growing to admire its unique charms. Me, I prefer Sufjan’s more contemporary, folksy tunes, myself. Or The Pogues’ classic: “Fairytale of New York,” which will certainly leave you smiling, if not belting it out of your car window to the chagrin of your fellow drivers stuck in traffic on the 405. “A Long December” is not exactly a Christmas song, per-say, but there is that certain truth to its lyrics (The smell of hospitals in winter/ And the feeling that it’s all a lot of oysters and no pearls/ And all at once you look across a crowded room/ To see the way that light attaches to a girl) that Adam Duritz somehow manages to evoke in most of his music, that makes it beautiful in its simplicity. But the true spirit of Christmas can probably best be found in Dave Matthew’s “Christmas Song.” After at least eight years of growing to love this song, one line never fails to warm my heart and make me shiver: “Father up above, why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love, love, love?” Despite the discontent in our world today, it is very hard to listen to this song and not feel hopeful. So with this play-list, I wish you hope. And joy. I wish you a Christmas of mothers dancing whilst wearing large lobster oven mitts, of little sisters who relentlessly ask Santa for puppies despite the impossibility of their wish ever coming true, of cousins who are never too old to play charades on Papa and Nana’s staircase and still call you at the crack of dawn to ask what you got in your stocking. I wish you a Christmas that is white, or green, depending. I wish you a Christmas that finds Joni Mitchell serenading you on the radio, or listening to your Grandpa tell your little brother his war stories in front of the fireplace, or ending a long day with a cup of tea and Bing Crosby’s voice to keep you company. But most of all, this Christmas I wish you peace. -ks
Have you noticed that the big Department Stores have their Halloween decorations out all the way up until the night of the 31st, and then they disappear? It’s not magic (or gnomes)! Even with this disappointment, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. However, this isn’t the case. Christmas decorations go up on November first! I mean… really? It’s sad that the entire nation can be “duped” into believing these decorations and ad campaigns, but we do. Christmas is pretty much the time where we are blinded by the thought process of “Need to get gifts. Need to be nice gifts. What the hell did they want? I made a list… Where the hell did I put the list?. . .. . . I’m so screwed” . . . . or something along those lines.
of the month by nigel Enemy of the month? Talk about a bottomless pit. Everyone has their fair-share of hatred towards their neighbors, or that damn street sweeper! But believe it or not, it was really trifling to single out one thing to hold the (not-so) coveted “Enemy of the Month” tag. Who’s worthy you ask? Well, Department Stores definitely take the cake during the holiday season.
The question stores make you ask yourself, philosophical or not, is “am I a good friend/ son/ daughter/ ect”, because if I was, I would get them a great *fill in with current advertisement*”. This shouldn’t be what is going through your head. How about… hmmm… maybe a little bit of that holiday called Thanksgiving? I know, I know… Pilgrims, Indians and that cornucopia thing… lammmeeee. But theirs food, and family! Heck, how about finding out (covertly of course) what everybody wants for Christmas? It’s a known fact that people flip out during the holiday season, but sooner or later the entire year will be in preparation for the following Christmas! What is this? Whoville? NO! ITS NOT! (and stop making fun of my nose..) Have a great holiday season, and make sure you give that grandma taking the last ‘laughing elmo doll’ a swift kick in the back of the head. ;) C‘mon… you know you want to…
Cheers, Nigel
snow,not bubbles
DRINK of the month
by jason
What with all the holiday shopping and hoopla that happens during Christmas seasons, I chose a drink that is easy on the pocketbook, easy to make, and quick to drink (being a shooter, it better be). Most of you will at least have heard of the Peppermint Patty shooter, though it is pretty much relegated to being consumed only around Christmas time. However, one should know that this drink is rather sweet and you might want to limit yourself to two or so, as alcohol and sugar-induced stomach aches are certain to bring about unfortunate consequences. Anyway, here is the drink recipe:
½ oz of crème de cacao (Bailey’s or Kahlua are acceptable substitutes) ½ oz Peppermint Schnapps Optional: 1 oz cream or ½ chocolate syrup
Serve by shaking well and straining into shooter/shot glass. For the more badass of you, empty into mouth, shake your head, and then swallow. Delicious.
VIDEO Of the month by cameron The game I will be reviewing this month is Fable II, and aside from being a great game, it is simply a great chicken punting experience. No game to date has ever delivered such realistic chicken kicking physics. However, if delivering swift kicks of justice to the backside of poultry simply isn't your thing, then fortunately Fable II happens to have a lot more to offer than that. The game itself is a third person role-playing game that features an open-ended morality system. For those unfamiliar with the Fable series, the game is essentially an RPG featuring a broad, but finite, quest system, a leveling system based on allocating points from the various realms of combat (Melee, ranged, and magic), and (the kicker) a morality system that allows you to commit some pretty heinous deeds just to be a dick. The morality system will directly affect your game-play, as characters will react quite differently depending on whether you are good and evil. I can also say that your actions can have very dramatic consequences on the world you inhabit, sometimes giving entire areas a facelift. Fable II has stepped it up from its predecessor in many ways, not the least of which is throwing in a purity/corruption system. For instance, a corrupt do-gooder would rescue the damsels, save the world in time for dinner, but charge outrageous prices for the shops he owns, and the houses he rents. Along that vein, the real estate system that was in the original Fable has seen a significant upgrade, and much time can be spent tinkering with it. Moreover, it's also damn necessary in this game, as money has become a lot more scarce, and if you don't want to spend your heroic days wearing a loin cloth and brandishing a
club taken from a leg on grandma's table, you better invest. Finally, there is the dog. Yes, in Fable II, you get a dog. He functions as a sort of guide/companion/support character. He can join you in fights to attack downed enemies, but his real purpose is to help you locate treasure and buried goods. Far from being annoying, the dog will likely grow on you, to the point that you will probably become attached to the adorable mutt. Overall, Fable II should have plenty to offer for those even mildly interested in Action Roleplaying Games, as the combat is simple enough and the game is broad enough. For anyone with more than a passing fancy in the genre, I definitely recommend picking up Fable II. -ca
Ah, it’s New Year’s Eve again. Time has come for millions of young people to try and figure out party/travel/romantic plans for this night of all nights. But really come on, it’s only one night. There is so much pressure to have huge plans, that many just ending up having a disappointing and fun-less night (that’s a word, right?). Listen, I’m not encouraging you to lay around by yourself with only a bottle of Jack D. for company (unless of course you’re Andres, and find this to be the perfect night). Just have a fun night, whether it be a low-key hangout or a huge, sparkling party. Here are my recommendations about what to do/not to do to ring in the New Year:
TOP 5 BEST AND WORST NEW YEAR’S EVE PLANS: 1. WORST: spending the five hours before midnight watching Degrassi: the Next Generation. While some of us happen to greatly enjoy the Canadian teenage soap, looking back, it was really unkind to subject others to what they defined as “cruel and unusual punishment.” And yeah, we probably could have spent our time in a better way than watching the up and downs (teenage pregnancies, drug problems, eating disorders, breakups, global warming, terrorism, oh wait…) of the students at the ill-fated Degrassi High. Seeing that much Canadian drama numbs the mind and for some, pains the eyes, therefore making this one of the worst ways to spend New Year’s.
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starring ellen as the new years baby! oh yeah!
2. BEST: if you don’t want to crash some random party, just throw one with all of your friends. Do you really want to spend your night in an overcrowded/overheated apartment/house where you don’t know most of the people, leaving with beer stains on your shoes and awful music buzzing in your ears? I fully believe in spending holidays with people I know and love, so leave the random parties for the other nights. You can make your party themed: party like it’s 1999 with some Third Eye Blind and Adidas striped shoes. Or like’s it’s 2199 with some space outfits and weird, electronic music. Or like it’s 1929 with some flapper outfits and jazz (actually more hobo outfits since this was the post-Depression time, but I won’t go all history geek on you). 3. WORST: hanging out with an ex, an almost ex, your boyfriend/girlfriend’s ex! JUST DON’T DO IT FOOLS!!! You think “Hey, this will be great; we can bury the hatchet/fix or avoid our problems/be less awkward on New Year’s right?” WRONG!! Listen folks, New Year’s parties almost always involve alcohol, which does make things less awkward, but also leads to perhaps not the wisest choices (i.e. drunken confessions, regretful hooking up, telling someone off, public break ups, and the list just keeps on going). We’re not on The Hills so leave the drama and the weird, exaggerated reactions at home! New Year’s is about celebrating the good times in the past and great times to come, so why ruin it? Remember friends don’t let friends hang out with an ex on New Year’s!
i shrunked?
4. BEST: so if you’re lazy, like many of us at OTM are, and don’t feel like planning a party or going out somewhere, just have a low-key hangout. If you enjoy the company of your family like I do, hang out with them or better yet, combine friends and family. If not, just get together with a few friends. You can make it an extravaganza night and play everything from Twister to Pictionary to a game where you drink every time you see one of those people on TV toot one of those annoying horns for New Year’s. Or decide to watch the worst three movies of the year (I’m sure a bootleg copy of Beverly Hills Chihuahua would have to be on that list). 5. WORST: spending your night wasting time. DON’T stand in line for 30 minutes to use a port-a-potty if you’re out on the streets. First off, why would you stand in line to use a port-a-potty, A PORT-A-POTTY??? COME ON! Find a Starbucks, a lonesome brick wall, or use the old “friends surround you in a darkened area and hold up their sweatshirts” trick. DON’T waste hours trying to find parking on New Year’s. Unless you’re meeting the person of your dreams, going to a sold-out concert, or someone WILL LITERALLY DIE if you don’t get to your location, don’t spend your night wandering around in your car, so red from frustration that your friend can see steam coming out of your ears. Just let it go, drive to an area that’s less crowded and hang out there. DON’T stand in line for an hour outside, waiting to get into a club. I mean, are you even having fun standing outside, shivering because of the slightly skank outfit you wore to try and get inside to said club (yeah, I’m talking to you too, guys!!)? Go and find a dive bar or go home and just hang out with your friend. This night is really not that important. Just relax and have fun and DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT TO! -eg
i’m a christmas tree!! merry christmas and happy holidays!!! send us an email at
ofthemonthmag gmail.com see you next month! tell your friends!