FREE Vol 3 Issue 12 * Gaming Articles, Monthly Editorials & Remarkable Stories
Dec 2009
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Left 4 Dead 2 DLC features Bill, Zoey, Louis and Francis!
By Jim Sterling @ Destructoid.com
You read that correctly! Left 4 Dead's original four survivors -- Bill, Zoey, Lois and Francis -- are heading to the American South in Left 4 Dead 2's brand new DLC! "The Passing" will see our intrepid Survivors arriving in Georgia for a new campaign set just after the events of "Dead Center." Here's the rub, however -- players will still take on the roles of Nick, Coach, Ellis and Rochelle. They will meet up with the original four Survivors during the course of the campaign. This will mark the first face-to-face meeting of all eight survivors, and it should be pretty epic. In any case, it'll be good to see the older (better) team once again. In addition to the new story mode, The Passing brings us a brand new Uncommon Infected, new maps for Survival, Scavenge and Versus and a mysterious new co-op mode. In addition, there will be a brand new firearm and a new melee weapon to up the zombie-smashing ante. The Passing is scheduled to hit Xbox Live and Steam in Spring 2010.
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Classy Jim’s Girls - The Main Event Jessica Krawec The d20 Girls Project
“So,” drawled Jim, “how much you got tonight?” “’Bout a quarter.” Jim snorted. “Guess that’ll do. Which’ll be your pleasure?” Tom stared blankly. Jim gave an almost imperceptible sigh that caused Sue-Ellen to grin wryly, yet totally escaped Tom’s notice. “ Which girl you want?” Tom frowned in thought. “ I ain’t never tried that there little headed one. Think I’ll give her a go.” Dora and Flora dropped their hooks in tandem. Doris stared up from her book with angry eyes, and Sue-Ellen sat straight up and strode over to Jim on bowed little legs and shook a finger at him, rapidly berating him in a shrill child‘s voice. “No way no how Jim. She’s brand new and we’re taking care of her. Hell Jim, I’ll do it for her instead, please. She ain’t built for the work, she ain’t built for nothing’ more than sittin’ around and droolin’. She ain’t got no more smarts than a babe. You wouldn’t let no bumpkin go on and stick his thing in a babe and scare her to death and ruin her! She ain’t right in the head. It just ain’t right Jim, she just ain’t all there…” The rest of her invective was cut off by a sharp slap from Jim that sent her sprawling. “You listen here Tiny,” Jim growled, “ you work in the show, you work after hours. That’s the deal. Where the hell else would she be right now if not for me? Where would all you hussies be now if not for me? What kind of work could you get, huh? Doris gonna go on and win Apple Queen during fair time? You gonna sling hash at a diner? Like you could even reach the stove…” he guffawed heartily, bending over and slapping his knee, “ and the twins…waitresses…oh Lord preserve me…” he laughed. The girls glared stormily, and Sue-Ellen slowly rose up with all the dignity she
could muster, rubbing her reddened cheek. She sat back in her chair, staring at Jim all the while. Jim turned to Tom and gave an uneasy laugh. “Them girls, all full of sass. Gotta keep in line the right way, know what I mean?” as he nudged Tom with a wink. Tom nodded dumbly. “So I get the little head?” “Sure do son,” he said. He went over the Daisy, and picked her up in his arms like a child, as she stared past him towards a dusty corner. “This one don’t weigh no more than a pat of butter. Shouldn’t give you no troubles Tommy boy.” He laid her down on the rusty iron bed. “You girls get the hell out of here!” he barked. Doris went first, eyes downcast, helping the twins hobble towards the exit. Sue-Ellen followed behind, stopping quickly at Daisy’s bedside, stroking the thin topknot at the crown of her little pointed head. “It’ll be ok baby, just keep your eyes closed, pretend you ain’t there baby,” she choked. Daisy stared
at her blankly. “Don’t dawdle half-pint . And don’t make no trouble.” Jim sneered as he whacked her backside. “Hurry on up.” Sue-Ellen pursed her lips, scowled at Jim, and left with a plaintive look towards Daisy as she shut the door. “Dames, let me tell you boy,” he said as he shook his head, “more trouble than they’re worth. I oughta get a crown in Heaven for lookin’ after these crips the way I do. What the hell else could these dolls do if I didn‘t have no sideshow to provide them?” He pulled two chairs together so he could stretch out as he sat. “If you don’t mind Tommy boy, it’s my policy to sit here and watch. Make sure you don’t damage the goods too bad.” “ S’alright,” Tom muttered as he unbuttoned his trousers. Daisy was already on all fours on the bed, so it was a simple matter to lift up her shift and stick himself in her. It took a few tries, and there was a lot of blood soaking down her thighs onto the dirty sheets. Daisy let out a low whine.
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Classy Jim’s (cont) Jim laughed. “Jackpot my boy! Looks like you got yourself a cherry!” Tom thrust harder and faster, making Daisy moan and sob in pain. Then he started to thrust harder, leading to load plaintive wails, animalistic cries of agony the girls heard outside the trailer. Sue-Ellen’s pinched face grew redder with every cry. Dora and Flora began to sob, and Doris grew a sickly shade of green.. Sue-Ellen paced angrily for awhile, then climbed up on an orange crate to put herself eye level with the other girls. “This stops now.” she announced. The red glint in her eye refused any talk of disagreement. The twins sobs dried, and wicked grins played upon their over rouged lips. Sue-Ellen nodded at Doris. “Remember the plan?“ Doris smiled beatifically. “Oh yes, I do” she said, stroking her beard, “ and this will stop tonight.” Eventually Daisy’s screams faded to whimpers, and Tom opened the door. “Thanks Jim,” he muttered with a wave as he swung open the creaky door. “Hold on you,” said Sue-Ellen, smiling seductively, her china blue eyes downcast as she fluttered thick lashes, “ Us girls were out here talking, maybe you and Jim would like a special surprise. See, Jim is a real good fella to put us up in the state we’re in, so maybe we could give him- and you, a little thank you.” “What kind of thank you?” Tom asked, his face furrowed in a combination of confusion and curiosity. “You’ll see.” grinned the little woman as she took his hand and led him back inside, trailed by the girls. Jim still sat sprawled on his chair, shabby hat removed rubbing his head, growling at Daisy. “Quit that there blubbering girl, you giving me a hell of a pain listenin’ to that. Ain’t no more than a stubbed knee for you, like you know what the hell is going on.”
Daisy continued to whimper. Jim threw back his seat and stalked over to where the meager cleaning supplies were kept, and grabbed a broom. “I’ll give you something to whine about if you don’t quit you goddamn feeb!” The twins stumbled over as quickly as they could, with smiles too big and white to be trusted by anyone but a stupid and perpetually aroused man. “Jimmy daddy, put down that broom and relax a minute,” crooned Dora, swiftly dispatching the broom from his hand. “ I think we got a cure for that bad mood of yours, you take such good care of us after all.” She cast her shadowed eyes up at him, and his nose picked up a waft of cheap perfume. “You were right about what you said about us, after all,” she murmured, “we wouldn’t be nothing without you.” “So we’re gonna give you a thank you for all you done for us that you ain’t never gonna forget,” murmured Flora, pulling down the strap of her shift to expose a flawless white shoulder. “Really now girls?” Jim grinned. “That’s what I like to hear from my lil’ girls, appreciation.” At the other end of the small trailer, Sue-Ellen unbuttoned the shocked Tom’s trousers again,
and out sprang his manhood, soon engulfed by her petite mouth. He groaned in ecstasy and leaned back against a wall for support as she sucked it with fervor. While Tom was groaning with pleasure, Jim was on the floor being kissed, caressed, and fondled by the twins. No one noticed Doris in the shadows, slipping something out of her apron. Doris waited until Tom was bathing in the afterglow of Sue-Ellen’s ministrations, breathing deeply and contentedly with his piggish eyes closed. In one sharp movement his throat was cleanly slit. Jim‘s habit of not asking many questions of his girls proved to be a bad business strategy. Had he inquires, he would have known that as a child, Doris was quite the prodigy at her uncle’s slaughterhouse. Tom never made a sound. Jim, still covered in warm, soft, feminine caresses, his body crying out in ecstasy, never noticed the shadow approaching him in the forms of Sue-Ellen and Doris. Sue-Ellen leaned in closely to his face, and murmured gently, “Daddy Jim dear, let us show you how much we truly appreciate you.” He gazed at her confusedly as Dora was suckling on his neck, while Flora was unbuttoning his trousers, “Huh darling?” A sharp, excruciating pain flowed through his body, and he felt his pants pump full of thick, warm blood. Doris handed something to Sue-Ellen that she promptly shoved in his face. “You won’t be needing these anymore,” she grinned as she swung the fleshy bag tauntingly, “ and you won’t be having no other men put these to use on us.” He began to scream, and SueEllen shoved the scrotum in his mouth, muffling his screams. “In fact sweetheart,” she cooed as Doris handed her the knife, “ I don’t think you’ll be using any of your parts ever again.” As Jim screamed, Daisy watched from her bloody bed, and began to smile.
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Review: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 By Jim Sterling @ Destructoid.com The biggest game of the year is finally here. Infinity Ward created one of the most popular, well-crafted and subsequently imitated first-person-shooter games in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and a sequel was inevitable. Two years on and we have Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, a game that aims to be bigger, sexier, and more full of explosions than Call of Duty 4 ever was. A year of controversy and hype preceded it. A year of debate and rage and more marketing dollars than any reasonable human being could conceive. With the game in our hands, however, it is time to put such things aside and ask the only question that really matters: Just how good is the biggest game of 2009? Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is set five years after Call of Duty 4. Imran Zakhaev is dead, but he has left behind a terrible legacy. His death made him a martyr in the eyes of the Russian Ultranationalists, and his former lieutenant Vladimir Makarov has embarked on a campaign of terror across Europe. America fights a covert war against Makarov, but in doing so sparks a chain of events that has unspeakable consequences for the rest of the free world, not to mention Task Force 141, a unit of British soldiers who continue the pursuit of Makarov and find themselves embroiled in a conflict that's more than Good Guys vs. Bad Guys. Infinity Ward has proven that it can create interactive setpieces like no other, and there is no denying that the single-player campaign for Modern Warfare 2 is a roller coaster ride that never lets up. Its individual plot points are intense, jawdropping, surprising and, in some cases, deeply disturbing. Its story about hard-bitten men who do awful things in the name of freedom is a resonant and supremely promising one, and not a single level goes by without something truly memorable happening. As a collection of events, Modern Warfare 2 is without compare. As a coherent story, however, the game slips up. Infinity Ward has no equal when it comes to self-contained, interactive narrative elements, but the studio fails at pulling the drawstrings together to create a flowing plot that makes sense. The game is so focused on giving us the next big explosion that nothing is allowed to build to a crescendo. Huge plot points come and go in a matter of seconds, and things that should be consequential and important get lost in the mass of shockers and endless twists. The overall story becomes a garbled mess that makes very little sense, which is amazing considering how well crafted each individual chapter actually is. The overall plot may be inane and poorly stitched together, but Modern Warfare 2's campaign is something that has to be played. Taking the best parts of every FPS you've ever experienced and then making them even more amazing, Modern Warfare 2 provides consistent entertainment and fantastically paced gameplay that has no rival. It's like five Hollywood action movies smashed into each other on a busy road and Modern Warfare 2 was the result of the messy collision. Despite a short length of just five hours, the single-player mode packs in more adrenaline-pumping sequences, unforgettable climaxes and truly shocking scenes than most games that run twice as long. As far as the actual gameplay goes, Modern Warfare 2 is a vast improvement over previous titles in the Call of Duty series. The horrible design decision that saw enemies respawning until you got to specific map locations has all but been eradicated, with many levels now rewarding you for staying put and using cover, rather than running through a level and hoping for the best. Cheap grenade spam is also cut down to a minimum, and players seem to have a better chance of evading the explosives that do come their way. Death can still comes come seemingly from nowhere, helped by the fact that enemies will jump you from behind and hide on rooftops, and sometimes new game elements are quickly thrown at the player without warning, but the frustration levels are down to a bare minimum and deaths are nearly always the fault of the player, rather than the result of six grenades. There's plenty of variety, too, and no one level ever stays the same for long. One moment you'll be slowly picking your way through a blizzard, stealthily eliminating soldiers. Seconds later you're blowing stuff up and mow(Continued on page 9)
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(Continued from page 8)
ing down enemies while trying to escape a military base. A few more seconds later and you're on a snowmobile, tearing down a slope and trying not to collide with fanatic pursuers. The game constantly changes on the player, and it's never short on surprises. It truly is a must-play experience, even if one has to ignore the ludicrous plot at times to get into it. Backing up the single-player is, of course, the online multiplayer. This is where the length of the campaign is more than made up for, with Infinity Ward building upon the excellent work started in Call of Duty 4. Everything awesome about the first game (sans dedicated servers on PC, of course) is present and correct in Modern Warfare 2, but refined and built upon where appropriate to provide an experience with more feedback, more rewards and more satisfaction than before. The Perks system returns with a whole mass of new abilities to help give dedicated players an edge in battle. Old favorites like "Stopping Power" and "Sleight of Hand" return, but are backed up by new "Pro" variants. Continued use of Perks allows them to become "Pro," providing even more abilities. The revitalized Perk system helps cut down on grenade spam by including fresh equipment abilities. These equipment items swap the grenades for potentially more useful items, like a tactical insertion flare that allows the player to choose where they'd like to respawn. Not only are these items unique and fun, but the choice between using them and using grenades is a brilliant idea that cuts down on potential frustration and forces grenade spammers to sacrifice a potentially superior inventory. A new quasi-Perk known as the Death Streak has also been added. Death Streaks kick in when a player is consistently killed by enemies, and provide temporary health boosts, the ability to copy the enemy's character class, Martyrdom, and more. Kill Streaks are back, and bigger than ever. They can now be customized, so if a player doesn't want a helpful care package to drop when they've killed four players in a single spawn, they can spend points to unlock a UAV Jammer and swap it out. Some of the new Kill Streaks are incredible, but run a risk of being a tad overpowering. The Predator, for example, is a deadly area-of-effect missile that can be manually controlled to land on a group of players. Unlocked after only five kills, it's an incredibly powerful and annoying weapon, perhaps best saved for higher streaks. The Perks and Streaks are terrific fun, but the game definitely seems more reliant on them than Call of Duty 4 was. Newcomers can expect to be overwhelmed by players with superior weapons and abilities, since they're no longer small helpful add-ons but truly game-changing items. A few hours of play will see most players finding the right weaponry and perk set to help them survive, but it's rough early going. One of the best parts of the multiplayer is the amount of feedback one receives during a match. Players are informed whenever they pull of particularly cool feats like double kills or headshots, and are told when they've gotten "payback" kills on the person who beat them last. Players also receive post-match Accolades for such accomplishments as gaining the most knife kills, or successfully firing from the hip more than anybody else. These awards and messages constantly encourage the player through positive reinforcement, while the simple cosmetic aspect of them makes the game feel more exciting and action packed than last time. Add to that the huge amount of maps, which range from small to huge, the ability to unlock and use various callsigns and emblems for the in-game lobby, and the most welcome addition of all -- blessed host migration, and you have a fantastic online package full of things to unlock, missions to accomplish and people to kill. It takes everything about Call of Duty 4's multiplayer and dips it in sugar. For first-person-shooter fans, it's a treat that's hard to find fault with, and will last for a ludicrously long time. A few new multiplayer modes have been thrown in, the most radical being a third-person mode that makes Modern Warfare 2 look more like Gears of War or Uncharted. Unfortunately, using controls designed for an FPS perspective in a third-person mode is absolutely horrible. It looks terrific, but plays terribly, and is worth little more than a curious one-play peek. It's a cute novelty, in any case. The content overload continues with the new Spec Op mode, a series of challenges that can be tackled solo or (Continued on page 10)
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with a friend. These range from obstacle courses, to sniper sieges, to simple "Kill everything that moves as quickly as possible." There's plenty of variety and should keep co-op fans happy, but I personally found the challenges overshadowed by the single-player and multiplayer, and have found it difficult to get into them. All this content is made to look pretty by some really stunning graphics. Modern Warfare 2 looks vastly superior to its predecessor, mostly thanks to a more vibrant color palette and some beautifully well-lit environments. There is great shadow and contrast, with the airport multiplayer map particularly standing out for its brightness and complete lack of the color brown. Sound-wise, you know what to expect. Endless machine gun noise punctuated by gruff men shouting "Alpha, Bravo" and "Stay frosty," at one another. If you hate military speak, you might want to turn the volume down, but you'd miss out on a very rousing soundtrack. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is a game that truly lives up to the title of "Game of the year." It carries itself with the style and swagger of a blockbuster action movie, it remains fully committed to making the player feel exhilarated and satisfied every step of the way, and not once, not ever, does it ever slow down. It's one of the most superbly paced games ever developed, and is packed so full of content and awe-inspiring gameplay that only somebody with standards higher than human comprehension could feel cheated. If the campaign's story was shaped better and made more sensible, and if the online Perks were just a tiny bit more balanced, this would be a near-perfect game, no shadow of a doubt. As it stands, however, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is an utterly stellar achievement that knows exactly what its audience wants, and delivers in abundance. Truly, this is the biggest game of 2009. Score: 9.5 -- Superb (9s are a hallmark of excellence. There may be flaws, but they are negligible and won't cause massive damage to what is a supreme title.)
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