Volume 2, Issue 2 April/May 2022
Page 5
WHY PRONOUNS MATTER R
eferring to someone by their chosen name
I did learn, however, how critically important it
and pronouns is an act of respect and
was and would continue to be for me to honor
inclusivity. Transgender and nonbinary people
everyone’s life experiences and particularly
report experiencing distress when they are
their pronouns.
misgendered and/or "dead-named". Often, transgender and nonbinary folx experience
Pronouns are what we use to reference
even higher levels of distress when their
people’s
identities are not honored as they pursue their
expression. This means, then, that many
education and live their lives on-campus.
people may use multiple gender pronouns and
gender
identity
and
sometimes
that the use of those pronouns may change over time or even be situational. For example, I have a colleague who uses she/they pronouns and sometimes feels more aligned I remember the first time I misgendered
with one over the other. What that means,
someone
the
then, is that I make a genuine, unrelenting
embarrassment and shame associated with
commitment to use the pronouns I hear them
my mistake was deep. At that particular point
using whenever we connect.
I
cared
about
and
in my life, I didn’t have the awareness or knowledge about the harm that could be
Unfortunately, there have been times I’ve
caused when I unintentionally spoke the
heard people say, “it’s too hard,” or “I can’t
wrong personal pronouns. And, even though
keep up with all of the options,” which I am
it was unintentional, it did not erase the
sure
impact. Additionally, it was important I not
disrespectful. In the same ways we want to be
take up space feeling the embarrassment and
referenced in ways that align with who we are,
shame, but instead that I apologize, correct
it is critical we do the same for those we
myself, and commit to doing better in the
communicate
future. It is with that practice I continue to do
worked closely with folks who say, “I’m excited
better.
to practice and learn how to respect the
is
unintentionally
with.
dismissive
Alternatively,
I
and
have
humanity of others," which Is where we all want to be.
