Despair In Nagasaki

Despair in Nagasaki

"Hina-chan, come down for breakfast!" Grandmother's exuberant voice wafted up from the kitchen. "Time to get up."

But Hina was already up. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, her eyes giving off a sad, pitiful glow. The sound of glass breaking and muffled screams echoing in her head. Hina looked down at her bandaged hands, her arms covered in scars and dried blood. Her grandfather once told her that she was born with a gift, a gift like no one else's, the beauty at heart to garden. Her botanical passion was so great that she could display her plants around the world.

Hina sighed, she thought about how wonderful it was to be outside and create amazing new types of flowers. Or when she would carefully cut branches on the fuji flowers, she remembered how steady her hands were when she did this.

But everything was different now.

She would never forget the day when the atom bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. The bomb radius was so large it sent shock waves to her town and shattered windows, smaller buildings collapsed, people died. Hina was knocked to the ground. When she tried to shield her face hundreds of jagged glass pieces pierced her delicate youthful body. Ripping deep gashes along her wrists, blood was everywhere. Now four weeks later, her hands were still patched up.

"You'll be fine, you will be able to garden soon." Mother's letters told me. Even so, I was not convinced, mother was a doctor and reassured many people in the town with similar words.

Hina thought about the words she was told again by her grandfather. "You have the gift to make the whole world your garden" Hana grinded her teeth. That gift is gone. She will never be able to garden again.

"Hina breakfast!" Grandma said it again but this time a little less bubbly.

Hina stood up and went downstairs. She sat down at the low table and tried to pick up her chopsticks. When they fell with a clatter grandma picked them back up and fed Hina as though she were a little baby.

"Good food cures everything." My Grandmother said with a warm smile.

Hina felt powerless, a small silver tear ran down the side of her face. She immediately wiped it. Grandma subtly embraced her revealing an entire river of tears, the warm embrace made Hina feel better, as she sobbed her whole body trembled.

"Shh You must stop crying," Grandma whispered. "Your tears will not help those who were killed by the bomb. Their souls must swim across the River of Death to heaven. Every tear you shed drops into the river and makes it deeper."

Hina woke up the next morning and peered outside the window, the sun engulfed her body warming her from head to toe replacing the cold chill that enveloped her body on that day. Grandmother was taking care of the garden. She watched longingly as she unwrapped the bandages from her hand.

The crimson streaks were still there. But she could move her fingers slightly, once again she started to sob, but this time it was different, they were tears of happiness. The Colour that had left her face briskly returned. She walked outside and Grandma was there waiting with her warm smile, holding out a pair of matching bright white gardening gloves. She felt the gift that once left her return to her grasp.

It was difficult at first, she thought to quit many times. However, with her grandmother supporting her she was able to accomplish many things. People from all over Japan came to visit her magnificent works of art. A few months later Hina started a job out of her talent. The price for some of Hina's botanical art was high. Even Emperor Hirohito would send people to buy her plants for his palace.

For the first time in forever, she felt truly happy. People loved her. Hina was able to buy her own house with the money she made. Every day was spent in the garden. Every day arose a new delight.

Four years later Hina received a letter. Mother or Father had not written back or visited for a year. Excitedly she grasped the letter and tore it open. Hina's heart dropped. Blood dripping from her bitten lips. Shaking with grief a broken scream was released from her mouth. They say the happier the person, the deeper the despair. Hina's parents had both passed away due to radiation sickness from the bomb. "Why?" was the only word that came to mind.

She collapsed on the floor. A day later she remained there. Bathing in her own filth. Her own vomit. Every time she tried to get up, she fell again. Tears and blood overran her once beautiful face. Today was opening day for her shop. Soon customers would see her vile state. She stood up. The shadow of a customer appeared at her door.

Several knocks. Pause. Hina opened the door. The customer raised his hand to his mouth as if to vomit, he put his hand down and walked away. Several minutes later he reappeared at the doorway. This time he bowed and apologized. A small pouch of money appeared from his right hand. "Please take this!" He said and slowly walked into the golden dawn.

Hina didn't want money, she wanted her family. Inside the pouch was at least 700 yen. This would cover her food for about two days. Hina flipped the pouch upside down and shook it. The money spilled out. as well as a small note. Curiously Hina opened it. "Do you hate the people who did this to us? Meet me outside Iwado shrine two nights from now at sunset."

Hina spent the next day cleaning up her house, she knew she couldn't stay like this forever. She had a list of doubts about what that man said. It could be a trap set by the Americans to capture people who are planning something. Unlikely, the stationed soldiers were on the other side of Nagasaki. Hina reminisced, she wanted to forget everything that happened and live happily in the gardens once more. It was now autumn, apples were perfect now. She slid open the door and walked through her garden towards the glistening apple tree. Hina reached for one and grasped onto it, she took a bite. The luscious, mellow apple tasted so sweet. A thin stream of tears ran down her face. She was prepared to face anything.

The next evening at sunset, Hina climbed the foot of Mount Unzen, to reach the Iwado shrine. There kneeling and praying were four men. One of which she recognized. Beside him a briefcase. Hina joined in on the prayer. The briefcase clicked, inside were three guns. Small pistols. As well as a large knife. Hina had never seen a real gun. In that instant, she knew what she was going to have to do.

The man who Hina saw the other day walked to her. This time he forced a smile, "We are all people who suffered from the bomb. I am Akihiko, those people over there are Ryosuke, Daichi, and Goro." He said whilst pointing to each of them. Daichi wore a Police uniform. He must have been the one who got the guns. Everybody shared the same pale expressionless look.

Akihiko filled me in on what was going to happen. A plan to invade the US army station whilst they were asleep and assassinate everyone there. Hina clutched her Haori. This was probably going to end her life, she thought to herself. However, she could see mother and father if she did this and get revenge on the people that took away everything.

Goro proceeded to hand out the weapons. Hina got the knife, and the rest of them got guns. How unjust. Hina has a small frame, rendering a knife useless unless she targets vital points. Akihiko pulled out a helmet from a plastic bag beside him. He handed it to Hina. She put it on. It did not fit in the slightest, it would fall off with a jerk of her head. Goro then informed the group that they would set out tonight. In order to reach the base before sunrise and that they may quickly go home to gather anything that may be of help.

Everyone went in separate directions. Hina quickly walked back home, she decided to bring one of her smaller kitchen knives as well. In a small backpack, she put some water and another apple, before saying goodbye to her home.

She met back up with everyone at the Iwado shrine. They all went to get water or food. This time everyone looked back at their hometown, they would never return again, but they knew this and still carried on.

Upon approaching the military personnel station, the group started to crawl and avoid any unnecessary motion. Areas without natural coverage were avoided. Just twenty meters away from the gate. Now just ten. They proceeded slowly and cautiously. "Just six more met"Akihiko's voice was cut off by the sound of an alarm.

The sound of soldiers cocking their guns, whilst a blazing alarm shook Hina's skull and made her ears scream. Everyone was overwhelmed. Nobody expected it to end this quickly. Goro ran towards the gate screaming whilst firing off his gun. He nearly made it to the gate before suddenly falling to the floor. Bright scarlet blood spurted from his body like a small fountain. It spread around his body like a wildfire.

The soldiers shouted something through a loudspeaker, however, the sound of alarms and the shock of what was happening made it inaudible to the group. Hina looked to her comrades in trepidation. Akihiko had put his gun in his mouth. He did not want a filthy American taking away his life as they took away his family.

The sound of the gun going off deafened Hina. The only remaining survivors were her and Daichi. Crimson red streaks of blood spat at Hina. In a daze, she remained on the floor. This was not a plot to seek revenge, this was a suicide mission. Daichi quickly grabbed a hold of Hina. Together they sprinted away from the base and towards a nearby beach. Cold sweat flew off her as she ran. Daichi caught a glimpse of a cavern just forty meters along the shore. Together they lunged towards it barely missing a bullet.

They sat down realizing this was the end for them. A sharp pain radiated from Hina's lower torso. She glanced down. She had been shot. They had both been shot. The world is unjust.

Why is it that the innocent die, but the evil remains? Nobody deserves this much sorrow. Daichi was the first to collapse to the ground. Hina did not cry, instead, she looked at her reflection in a small puddle, self-pity washed over her, she remained upright and died as soon as the troops arrived at the cavern. She would finally get to see her family.

Inigo Lenderking

Illustration by Nanaho Miki