January 2014 HerFamily by Omaha Magazine

January 2014

Resolve To Try Something New A Publication of Omaha Magazine

What should I get out of a

parent-teacher conference?

Driver’s Ed

For Both of Us

OMAHA MAGAZINE • 5921 S. 118TH CIRCLE • OMAHA, NE 68137

The besT plaCe fOr kids.

Gunnar, age 9 Lincoln, NE Crohnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Disease

Visit ChildrensOmaha.org for more information on how we can help your child. For a pediatrician, family physician or pediatric specialist, call 1.800.833.3100.

on the

inside

january 2014

MANAGING EDITOR

7 Don’t Let Motion Sickness Keep You From New Activities 8 Driver’s Ed—For Both of Us 10 Top 10 Positive Parenting Resolutions 12 Dumplings, Leopards, and Sherpas, Oh My: The Wests’ Pets 14 What Should I Get Out of a ParentTeacher Conference? 16 The Yellow House: A Home for Community Living 20 Christopher McLucas Thinks Laughter Is the Best Medicine 28 Resolution: Create Myelin with Music

David Williams HER FAMILY EDITOR Chris Wolfgang EDITORIAL INTERN Anna Hensel (No. 33) CREATIVE DIRECTOR John Gawley DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY & INTERACTIVE MEDIA Bill Sitzmann SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER Katie Anderson JUNIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER Paul Lukes ASSISTANT GRAPHIC DESIGNER Marti Latka DESIGN INTERN Carrie Hausman (No. 32)

columns

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

9 Teen Voice: Anger 19 Education: Alternatives to Grade-level Retention 22 Mom on the Rocks: Resolving New Year’s Resolutions 27 Fitness: Bicep Curls with a Band

departments

Halston Belcastro • Bev Carlson • Kim Carpenter Cindy Copich • Melissa Farris • Kathleen Johnson Zander Koch • Cherie Lytle • Ruth Meints Mandy Mowers • Leslie Murrell ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Gwen Lemke • Greg Bruns • Gil Cohen • Vicki Voet ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Sandy Besch Matson ACCOUNT ASSISTANTS Alicia Smith Hollins • Jessica Linhart Dawn Dennis • Sydney Stander

11 Young Hero: Cole Rollins 23 Food: Steak Salad with Blue

PUBLISHER Todd Lemke

features

Volume 1 • Issue 8

OPERATIONS Tyler Lemke

Cheese Dressing 24 Recipes from Children’s Hospital: Rice Krispies Treats 30 Calendar of Events

ACCOUNTING Jim Heitz WAREHOUSE DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Mike Brewer For a one-year subscription (12 issues), send $9.95 to P.O. Box 461208, Papillion, NE 68046-1208.

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Comments? Story ideas? January 2014

Original contributions become the property of Omaha Publications. Contributions cannot be acknowledged or returned.

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4 HerFamily • January 2014

Resolve To Try Something New A Publication of Omaha Magazine

What should I get out of a

parent-teacher conference?

Owned and managed by Omaha Magazine, LTD

Driver’s Ed

OMAHA MAGAZINE • 5921 S. 118TH CIRCLE • OMAHA, NE 68137

Thanks to Kim Sitzmann and Eric Downs for being on this issue’s cover. Thanks to Prairie Life Fitness Midtown for providing their space. Photo by Bill Sitzmann

The information contained within HerFamily is for informational purposes only. It is not intended and should not be used to take the place of seeking professional advice, counsel or assistance. Omaha Publications makes no endorsement of and is not responsible for contributors or advertising herein. If you have concerns or questions related to your health, consult with you physician. HerFamily is protected by copyright and may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission of Omaha Publications, 402.884.2000.

For Both of Us

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Feeling better by bedtime

Same Day Pediatrics offers scheduled sick appointments 7 days a week. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not an urgent care center, but a real pediatric clinic for all Omaha children.

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BOYS TOWN

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The International Omaha in partnership with HerFamily magazine presents the

2014 INTERNATIONAL OMAHA KIDS ART CONTEST

CALL FOR ENTRIES • Tickets to the 2014 International Omaha for your entire family • Your artwork will be the cover of the 2014 International Activity Books • Display of the artwork on the CenturyLink Jumbotron with a public annoucement for the evening show • Omaha Mounted Patrol will visit your class/school with their police horse* • Special International 2014 eCreamery ice cream for your classmates* RULES AND GUIDELINES FOR THE INTERNATIONAL OMAHA KIDS ART CONTEST:

• The contest is open to all elementary school (ages 5-12) children in the Omaha and surrounding areas. • Only one entry per child will be accepted. • The artwork must depict the theme of horses, horse jumping, equestrian or the English discipline. • All artwork must be the student’s original, hand-done creation. Photographs and computer-generated artwork will not be accepted. • All artwork must be on plain white paper 8-1/2 x 11 in a vertical format without a frame or border. Any medium is allowed • Artwork must not exceed 1/4” in total thickness. • No lettering, signatures, or initials may appear on the front of the design. Any artwork with such identifying characteristics will be disqualified and eliminated from the competition. • Winner and winner’s parents/guardians grants exclusive right to The International Omaha and its designees to utilize the artwork for reproduction, promotional purposes and display. • All submissions must be accompanied by a separate sheet of paper with the students name, parent/guardian’s name and signature, home address and phone number. Contact information will not be shared without the permission of the winner and winner’s parents/guardians. • Original artwork will not be returned. • Mail to: The International Omaha, 1004 Farnam Street, Ste. 400, Omaha, NE 68102 • Entry deadline for submissions must be postmarked by January 31st, 2014.

www.internationalomaha.com

*School visit from Mounted Patrol and eCreamery ice cream distribution subject to school’s permission.

1983

THIRT Y YE ARS

2013

The International is a Premier Indoor Horse Jumping competition at the CenturyLink April 11 & 12, 2014. 6 HerFamily • January 2014

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feature story by Erica Martin, M.D., Boys Town Pediatrics-Pacific Street Pediatric Clinic

PREVENTING AND TREATING MOTION SICKNESS

Don’t let motion sickness keep you from new activities

common. A simple swell of the sea, a bounce in the car, or the sway of a ride at the amusement park can make anyone’s stomach turn upside down. otion sickness is very

CAUSE OF MOTION SICKNESS

Motion sickness occurs when the inner ear, eyes, and nerves in the extremities, which detect motion, send conflicting messages to the brain. One part of your body may sense that you are moving while another part does not see the motion. This leads to a disagreement between the senses and can result in motion sickness. Signs of motion sickness may include: • Pale appearance • Disorientation • Fatigue • Loss of appetite • Nausea and/or vomiting • Complaints of feeling hot, although not warm to touch

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Boys Town Pediatrics has several tips on how to prevent motion sickness: • Provide a very light snack before the activity. • Avoid strong smelling odors. • Wear layered clothing and adjust as needed. • Drink plenty of water and ensure the body is hydrated. • Make frequent stops. • Do not sit facing backward from the direction of travel. • Focus attention on listening to the radio and talking. • Open vent for a source of fresh air. • Avoid reading or games that cause constant focus. If motion sickness occurs during your travels, the best way to treat it is try to stop the motion. If you cannot stop the motion, try laying your child down or having him sit in an area with the least amount of movement. Remind your child to take big, long breaths. You can also provide him or her with a damp towel applied to the forehead.

WHEN TO SEE A DOCTOR

If your child has motion sickness, and your family is planning an activity that may trigger the sickness, talk to your child’s pediatrician. Medication may be available to help prevent motion sickness. If your child is having motion sickness symptoms, but they are not involved with movement activities, schedule an appointment with your child’s doctor.

HerFamily • January 2014 7

feature story by Bev Carlson, APR, Lutheran Family Services

Driver’s Ed—For Both of Us

mother is entering a whole new level of scary. I’ve dealt with the baby turning blue, the disappearing toddler, and the fear of football injuries. But now, I’m getting ready to deal with the really frightening part of being a parent. My oldest is getting his driver’s license in January. It’s not that he won’t be a good driver. I truly believe he will be very focused and conscientious behind the wheel. I have to believe that. His father and I have invested in the teen driver training offered through the National Safety Council, so I know he’s getting the very best training possible. He’ll be in class for twenty hours and behind the wheel with a certified instructor for another five. I take comfort in believing in this highly regarded program. I believe its coaches will remember all of the important things that I might forget to teach about the rules of the road. I mean, I’ve been driving for decades, and sure, I could show him how to operate a vehicle. But I don’t remember all those rules that I could once recite verbatim. So, I trust the experts on this one. They tell me that teens who take driver’s education are less likely to be involved in an accident or get a ticket. So, the mom in me hangs on to that too. Because unlike the courage that it took for me to drop him off at daycare the first time, or to let him ride his bike alone, or later—to allow him to walk to the mall with friends—this is different. This is life or death stuff. y life as a

8 HerFamily • January 2014

While I have confidence that he will learn how to be a good driver, I’m more concerned about him being a good defensive driver. I want him to know he really needs to watch out for the other guy. Because it could be the other guy that’s the real danger. There will be other people out there driving who maybe aren’t as focused and conscientious as I hope he will be. They might be daydreaming. Or on the phone fighting with their girlfriend. Or, Lord help me, texting. And all it takes is one fraction of a second for a mistake to take away someone who means more to me than life itself. The National Safety Council says that in 2012, teenage drivers accounted for almost one out of every four crashes in the state—and over 10 percent of all traffic deaths. Ten percent! And only six percent of Nebraska’s drivers are teens. That’s a lot of moms, dads, and family members with devastated, broken hearts. Every time I hear of another teen killed or hurt, it breaks my heart too. I just can’t grasp the pain that family is experiencing. But now, it’s my turn to hand over the keys to my child. He’s excited about new freedoms he sees coming his way. And his pattern of being responsible and making good choices makes me feel encouraged about the kind of driver he will become. But still, there’s that nagging concern about statistical odds and life-changing moments. I guess that’s just the next step of parenting worry. So let’s all be careful out there. I’ll keep an eye out for your kids, if you’ll keep an eye out for mine. Thanks. omahamagazine.com

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emotions everyone experiences. The ways we manage those feelings are what is important. Teenagers are not experts at managing their anger and frustration in comparison to adults. Every day is a learning experience, especially for teenagers who are involved in many activities. School is what most teenagers, I find, get angry about. Whether it is because of their heavy homework load or being up early on a Monday morning, there is always someone complaining about school. It makes sense— school takes up the majority of our time. We spend seven to eight hours at school a day, not counting the clubs or sports that follow after the final bell rings. To the average teenager, school is like a second home. I also get frustrated with the stresses of school and grades, but I understand how to manage it. My friends and family are always there for me, patiently listening to me vent when I have a bad day. They have my back and will sympathize and help me rationalize my anger. It is a healthy way to unleash my anger and frustration without taking it out on someone else or letting it overly affect me. Teachers and counselors are also resources that can be used for teenagers who are angry or upset. If it is about a specific reason involving school, they are the perfect people to express concerns to. It is their job to be considerate and be understanding of the problems a student may have. It is also a healthy way to release that bottled up anger or frustration. Being a teenager can be challenging and frustrating, but there are many ways to manage those negative emotions. Every day we learn and grow, and soon we will learn not to sweat the small stuff and find other healthy ways to deal with our anger. HerFamily • January 2014 9

feature story by Bridget Barnes, Boys Town Common Sense Parenting® Director

Top 10 Positive

Parenting Resolutions

new year is the perfect time for a fresh start in many areas of your life, including parenting. Chances are if you’re like me, you had your fair share of parenting dilemmas this past year. Here’s my Top 10 List for positive parenting resolutions we can all work on together: he start of a

1. Spend less. Spend less time nagging, pleading, and bribing your child. Instead, spend more time teaching them what you expect so you can spend more time together making memories. 2. Eat right. Take time to eat together as a family. Meals eaten around the family dinner table help children learn important social and life skills. 3. Get organized. My family can be extremely disorganized, which causes our days to be crazy! Work together to make fun and workable routines. My suggestion: Have each person create index cards with their activities and put them on the fridge.

4. Get out of debt. De-stress your life and reduce greedy behavior by spending less on gadgets that kids don’t need to be successful. You get to save money and spend time as a family. 5. Help others. Be a role model and help your children learn what’s really important in life. Have each person choose their favorite community charity and learn as a family the important lessons of giving to others. 6. No bad language. Do not call your kids names like lazy, bratty, stupid, wimpy, or grumpy. Negative words can hinder a child’s potential to grow and learn. If they have a behavior that has you frustrated, let them know, but don’t let it become the description of your child. 7. Kick bad habits. I have the bad habit of losing my temper with my teenager. This year, I’m going to try doing the opposite of what she does. In other words, whatever she does that pushes my buttons (rolling her eyes, arguing, or raising her voice), I will do the opposite (focus calmly on her eyes, talk less, speak calmly) to teach her the skill of being calm. 8. Read more. There are many great television programs out there now for kids, but nothing can replace reading and learning together. Pick out Julia Cook’s latest book to help teach social skills to your young child. 9. Reduce your screen time. Turn your smartphone off. I know you feel like you need to be connected all the time and always be available. When you’re home, though, that’s time reserved for your family. The only ones you should be available to are your kids. 10. Keep your resolutions. If you need some help or additional parenting tips, check out one of our Common Sense Parenting classes in your neighborhood, visit Parenting.org, or order a DVD to watch in your home.

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10 HerFamily • January 2014

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young hero story by Chris Wolfgang • photo by Bill Sitzmann

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Cole Rollins’ Blanket Parties

Rollins hands the phone to Cole almost immediately. It’s still a little tough for her talk about the blankets. Cole is 10. He’s in fifth grade at Pine Creek Elementary, and he’s chatty on the phone. “We have a huge, big party,” he says, “where we make the blankets, and then we go give them to the kids at Children’s Hospital. They’re the kind you cut out and tie together.” “Everyone brings their own fleece,” Kristy says. “Cole calls them parties.” “People are upstairs and downstairs and all over, and everyone’s making them,” Cole says. “It’s a big day,” his mom adds. This year, about 20 people helped him put together 70 fleece blankets for the hospital. That’s a considerable increase from his first blanket party three years ago, when six friends came to help him make 19 blankets. Cole was seven then. His little sister, Mallory, was three and receiving monthly infusions at Children’s to combat opsoclonusmyoclonus syndrome (OMS). “My sister came home with a couple fleece blankets from the hospital,” Cole says. “He said he wanted to give blankets back to the hospital where Mallory got hers,” risty

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Kristy says. “The blankets mean so much to her. She treasures them. So we know that these kids treasure these. It’s a keepsake. Mallory has at least three.” “My first one I gave to an older boy,” Cole remembers. “It was a John Deere blanket.” His favorite fleece patterns, he says, are camouflage and anything outdoorsy. “Lots of kids still bring their blankets [to infusion],” Kristy says. “We’ll see them around.” “I want to make a blanket for one of Mallory’s infusion friends,” Cole says. “It’s one of her friends that gets infusion at the same time, Lily. She wants a Justin Bieber fleece, but I can’t find any.” Kristy says that, for the kids who make the blankets, the best part is hand-delivering them to the hospital. “The kids love giving them out in the lobby,” she says. “They love personally giving them.” Speaking of giving, the 2013 holiday season marked the first annual Cole Cares Christmas—Cole partnered with a company, DirectCall of Air Methods, to run a gift donation for Children’s. “This is what he wanted to do next,” Kristy says. But he’ll still be hosting his blanket parties. The goal for 2014? One hundred blankets. Young Hero proudly sponsored by:

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HerFamily • January 2014 11

feature story by Mandy Mowers • photos by Bill Sitzmann

Jedidiah, Adia, Priya, Elijah, Silas, and Kimberly pose with Bruno, Tiger Lily, Madge, Duma, Sherpa, and Momo respectively.

Dumplings, Leopards, and Sherpas, Oh My! The Wests’ pets enjoy names from other cultures.

Kimberly West have four children who are actively involved in soccer, ballet and tap, golf, Awana, choir, and a smattering of other hobbies. Those hobbies include taking care of a small zoo: two dogs, a cat, a gecko, a snake, and a coop full of chickens. Priya, 7, shares about Momo, their small gray dog: “Momo likes to snuggle on the couch, and she likes to sit in the window behind the couch, and she likes to eat cat food.” Momo is named for dumplings that are found in Nepal, where the West family lived for 11 years. ilas and

12 HerFamily • January 2014

Next up? “Duma!” Elijah, 9, exclaims. Duma is his leopard gecko. The name means “leopard” in Swahili—Silas spent many of his growing-up years in Kenya. Duma lives in a cage in the boys’ bedroom. “He likes to act dead,” says Elijah. “He likes to stare. He likes to climb in your hair or your neck. And he doesn’t like new people.” That means new people get hissed at. Then there’s Tiger Lily, the cat. “She’s gray with black stripes,” says Adia, 11. “And when you’re sad, she comes and comforts you—she sits on your lap.” Bruno is the corn snake under the care of 12-year-old Jedidiah.

At this point, Kimberly has to laugh. “We have so many pets. Oh my goodness,” she says. One reason Jedidiah likes Bruno is because “he can always beat you in a staring contest.” The snake can’t blink because he doesn’t have eyelids. Sherpa is a Redbone Coonhound. “He’s named after the guides who take people up in the Himalayas,” says Adia. “There’s so many goofy things about him,” Silas says. “He likes to dance!” Adia exclaims. “If you say, ‘Dance,’ he will jump up and hold onto your shoulders.” omahamagazine.com

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Sherpa is protective of Priya. “Other dogs aren’t allowed around Priya,” Kimberly says. “Not even his best friend,” says Elijah of Otto, the Great Dane-mastiff mix who lives next door. “Only Momo,” says Priya. “She’s the only dog who’s allowed around me.” “He’s really gentle with the kids, even Avila,” Silas says about the toddler who used to live next door. “She’d curl up on his dog bed with him, and they’d just relax together.” “Even Tiger Lily,” says Adia. “Yeah, he loves the cat,” says Kimberly. “And he loves the chickens.” The chickens are perhaps the most surprising of the pets—the whole family just loves them. Kimberly says, “We decided two years ago that we were going to get chickens. It took me 10 years to convince him.” “I grew up with chickens on the farm, and they’re stinky and messy and a lot of work. And I didn’t want them,” Silas explains. “But Kim always wanted them, so we got them. And I ended up liking them a lot.” The chickens reside in handmade coops and roam free in the garden. Madge is the matriarch of the chicken coop. Elijah says, “She kind of likes to snuggle. She likes to dig and eat bugs.” Madge often squats down when approached and likes to be picked up. “The chickens are more like pets. They’re like pets that give us something,” Kimberly says. “I never saw chickens that way,” Silas says. “They’ve always just been an animal you have on your farm for a purpose. All of our chickens like to be held and get mad when you don’t.” “We have a proclivity to needy animals, and our chickens fit into the needy-animal realm,” Kimberly says. “Even the Reds are letting you pet them now. An animal comes into our yard, and it becomes needy.” And, in return, the kids are quite attached to the chickens. They were heartbroken when a Bantam hen died this summer. “We had a funeral for Penny,” Kimberly says. “She was killed by a possum.” Adia says, “She’s buried next to the possum.” bestofomaha.com

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HerFamily • January 2014 13

feature story by Chris Wolfgang • photo by Keith Binder

A teacher may even offer insight directly from your child. A few days before conferences, Rempel has her students write three sentences on their own grade reports. “I have sentence starters for them to choose from: I’m doing awesome at blank, I’m not really understanding blank, I participate by blank.” That way parents can hear in a student’s own words what’s going on in class.

ASK HOW TO TAKE GRADES TO THE NEXT LEVEL

Anna Rempel is a seventh- and eighth-grade math teacher at Conestoga Public Schools.

What Should I Get Out of a Parent-Teacher Conference?

pring semester parent-teacher conferences

are still a couple months away, but parents wanting to maximize their return on these quick meetings with their kids’ teachers might want to start a few habits now.

DON’T EXPECT TO SOLVE MAJOR PROBLEMS IN FIVE MINUTES

Anna Rempel, a seventh- and eighth-grade math teacher at Conestoga Public Schools, says she tries to keep individual meetings between five and seven minutes long. Josephine Langbehn, a seventh-grade art educator at Omaha Public School’s Monroe Middle School, says her meetings may average ten minutes. Serious problems, like acting out in the classroom or demonstrating a need for special education testing, aren’t tackled here. “If a student is struggling, I’ve already e-mailed a parent about it,” Rempel says, adding that school counselors and the principal would handle those concerns. Parent-teacher conferences, on the other hand, are more along the lines of checkups. Expect to be handed a grade report and discuss: • Test average • Homework average • Overall grade • Any missing homework • Suggestions for improvement

TAKE NOTES

Parents can receive a lot of information in very condensed form during conferences. Rempel says she offers pointers like homework organization or encouraging a student to check against a calculator. Langbehn will discuss more abstract skills, such as a student’s ability to navigate art criticism or form their own ideas about what makes good art. Whatever the subject, jot down the teacher’s suggestions and refer to them the next time you help your child with homework. 14 HerFamily • January 2014

If maintaining a specific grade point is important to you and your child, ask for specifics: “If my child has a B and I want them to have an A, what else could they do?” Paying attention to grades posted online is another way to monitor progress, Rempel says, and note any warning signs in particular subjects. For improving on concepts like creatively solving for solutions, Langbehn suggests asking the teacher for more self-guided goals and projects to pursue outside the classroom. “That is a life skill now. You have to be able to think creatively.”

BE PROACTIVE WITH YOUR COMMUNICATION

If you or the teacher mentioned concerns during your conference, Rempel strongly encourages contacting the teacher again in a few weeks. Langbehn adds that it’s important to find the best way to reach a particular teacher. “If we need to follow up, how will that happen?” she says. “I personally prefer e-mail.” While Rempel encourages parents to attend at least the first conference of the year (you can usually expect one in fall and another in spring), she suggests sending an e-mail to a teacher if you’re not going to drop by. “The important thing is that a parent and a teacher work together as a team,” Langbehn says. “It’s not just me telling a parent that your kid needs to do this.” If all goes well, Rempel says parents can expect to hear, “They’re doing great. I appreciate your involvement in your child’s education, and if there are problems in the future, I will definitely contact you.” omahamagazine.com

New Year, New You!

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HerFamily • January 2014 15

feature story by Mandy Mowers • photo by Keith Binder

From left: Rachel, Samantha, Amy, and Zachary Lee have shared a home with extended family for five years.

The Yellow House

A Home for Community Living

a little crazy to live with 14 people,” says Josh Buckingham-Weibel, “but, for our family, it just works. And I personally have enjoyed every minute that we’ve lived together.” Buckingham-Weibel is a junior in college. On Jan. 15, 2009, just a few days before he turned 16, his three siblings and his mom moved into a house with his aunt and uncle and their five kids. A few months later, his uncle’s sister and brother-in-law joined them. Nine kids—now 10—and five adults have made a home in The Yellow House. The oldest of the kids, Buckinghamou have to be

16 HerFamily • January 2014

Weibel was all for it when the families were deciding to move in together. The benefits, in his eyes, included getting to see his family on a daily basis, having cousins who are essentially more like younger siblings, and getting to watch them all grow up. “And you learn so much from everybody else in the house,” he adds. “There’s a lot of different life experience that everyone has had, so there’s a lot to learn.”

THE APPEAL OF SHARED PARENTING

Was it kind of like having five parents? “Well, there’s a lot of accountability, and

you really don’t get away with a whole lot,” he says. That adjustment to the number of parents was one worry that his mom, Amy Lee, had when making this decision. Recently widowed, Lee had become a single parent. “I was concerned about them going from having two parents to one parent to three parents— or three adults in their life every day, nagging them about cleaning their room or whatever. And it ended up being more than three. It’s five,” she says with a laugh. This idea of community living came about one day while Lee helped her sister with some childcare. “Eric had died almost omahamagazine.com

Help your child

DISCOVER

two years earlier, in July of 2005,” Lee says of her late husband. “In that two years, my sister had two babies.” That’s in addition to the three kids her sister already had. “So she had needed help one day to take her kids to the doctor or something. And I had gone over and helped her.” That day made her sister wish that Lee lived closer. “Here I am, trying to figure out what it means to do life by myself. And here’s my sister trying to figure out how to deal with two small babies,” says Lee. “It was really just coming to this place of wanting to support each other. Moms with small kids get to feeling pretty isolated and alone. And moms who are widows get to feeling pretty isolated and alone.” First the sisters talked about moving into the same neighborhood. However, when they started to look at the options, neither family’s needs could be accommodated in the other’s neighborhood. And that’s when the conversation turned to the two families buying a house together.

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THE HUNT FOR A PLACE THAT WORKED FOR EVERYONE

“We did some reading, we did a lot, a lot, a lot of talking, and we did a lot of praying,” Lee remembers. “And we decided: We’ll commit to five years.” The house-buying process took a year and a half—“plenty of time for people to back out; plenty of space for the conversations we needed to have,” says Lee. Those conversations included drafting a mission statement and other community documents that were specific about things like no extramarital affairs, no alcohol or drug abuse, and what “safe touch” meant. This ensured that they were all on the same page to start out. In that time, “we looked at, gosh, hundreds of houses. And I’m not joking,” says Lee. They put offers on five other houses that didn’t work out for one reason or another. “Then winter hit. A bunch of houses dropped in pricing, and this house came more into our price range.” The 3,600-square footage includes six bedrooms and two and a half baths, with expansive front and back yards. “It’s definitely more space than I could ever take care of on my own,” says Lee. But it was perfect for a community living space. (And it’s even been approved by the Omaha Planning Department.) Adults No. 4 and 5, Amanda and Chad Knihal, were invited to consider living in this community shortly thereafter. As a couple planning to have kids, “I was pretty confident that, if we had children, I would want to stay home with them,” says Amanda. “And the idea of having two other moms who were also at home at that time was really exciting.” The two years that the Knihals originally committed to went quickly, and now it’s been almost five. The Knihals had a baby last August and have been getting a lot of questions about whether or not they’ll stay in The Yellow House. For now, anyway, Amanda says, “This is just where we live—this is home.” bestofomaha.com

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HerFamily • January 2014 17

THE PAYOFF OF A FAMILY THAT’S CLOSER THAN EVER

Lee has loved having the Knihals around. Before they had a baby and became “real adults,” they were a great bridge between Lee and her teenagers. “Close enough to those teen years that they remember what it’s like, but adult enough to understand where I’m coming from,” Lee says. And, as far as parenting goes, “I learn all the time from them—all four of them—even though I’ve been parenting longer,” Lee says. “I really value that my kids get to live with other adults, especially married people. That they get to see two couples who love each other and who respect each other and who work together. They wouldn’t have gotten to see that if we didn’t do this. I think that’s really valuable in life,” Lee says, tears welling up. “On the flip side of that, it’s been surprising to me how that makes me miss Eric a lot, to watch that.” Lee’s biggest concern in all this was moving the kids out of the house that they lived in with their dad. “That place carried so many memories for them—for us all,” she says. “And it was hard. It was hard to leave there. They’d already been through a lot of change, and so to put them through another one…I was really concerned about that.” When she asked the kids about it, they had some questions, but they seemed very positive and interested. And the ways that the cousins have bonded have made it all worthwhile. “I had hoped that our kids would be close,” Lee says, “but I feel like they really have forged some strong friendships. That kind of stuff anchors you in life. When you have made movies and played games and roasted marshmallows and skated with sparklers on the ice rink in the back yard—what were we thinking? Oh my gosh.” Traditions like these are what make a house a home, and The Yellow House has no shortage of them. Winter Olympics on that same ice rink, playing Sardines with all the lights off, and countless celebrations mark the passing years. Five will have come and gone in January. “I’m really grateful for family who were willing to try something that, for our country, is out of the ordinary,” Lee says. “I know it’s not for everybody, but I think more people should try it.” 18 HerFamily • January 2014

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Alternatives to

Grade-level Retention

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(or flunking) students who have not mastered the skills and content of a specific grade level in school is not a recommended practice, yet this “solution” keeps popping up—most recently as a legislative initiative. The bill, discussed for the 2014 Unicameral calendar, would force school districts to hold back any student that could not read by the end of third grade. Retention is based on an erroneous belief that students repeating the same grade level will “catch up” academically. Social promotion, which focuses on advancing students to the next grade regardless of their academic performance, is the common practice. While neither option sounds appealing, the evidence against the use of retention is compelling. It is also imperative that parents and elected officials have access to this information as they consider appropriate measures to help all students achieve. There are a few circumstances where retention is considered appropriate. The first is when a student has experienced extended or frequent absences that resulted in a significant loss of learning. The second is when a student starts kindergarten at a young age and appears to be struggling socially and academically. Grade-level retention (or even the threat of it) is one of the few educational practices with almost no research to support its continued use. In fact, there are warnings regarding the severe long-term consequences of retention. Students may initially show a slight increase in performance when state tests are used as the measure of improvement, but student progress rapidly fades and improvement is replaced by an even greater sense of failure and frustration. As a result, retained students generally have a higher-than-average dropout rate, continued academic struggles, difficulty with peers, and lower self-esteem. Studies show that retention is the second greatest factor predicting which students will drop out. Alternatives to retention that are supported by the National Association of School Psychologists and most schools tend to include extended academic programs such as after-school tutoring or summer school. Schools could also recommend frequent monitoring of a student’s progress through an individualized academic plan and consider additional supports provided by educational specialists. etaining

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HerFamily • January 2014 19

feature story by Kim Carpenter 窶｢ photo by Keith Binder

Christopher McLucas

thinks laughter is the best medicine.

20窶ォerFamily 窶｢ January 2014

omahamagazine.com

Giggle Farm, the Guffaw family grows grinning laughing stalks and chuckleberries by the bushel full. Farmer Guffaw and his wife proudly watch as their children spend days playing outdoors, inventing clever contraptions, daydreaming, and getting lost in reading. Soon, though—as is the case in all families—their children grow up and move away to lead their own lives. The Guffaws become sad and lonely while the laughing stalks wither and the chuckleberries shrivel. Spoiler alert: The story does have a happy ending. The Giggle Farm, by 25-year-old Christopher McLucas, is a rare kind of children’s book, one that is funny and profound by turns. That’s because the young author didn’t want to write a typical children’s book. Instead, he set out to create the kind of story that would take both parents and children alike on a thoughtful and interactive journey. ay down on the

LAUGHTER: SOMETHING KIDS AND ADULTS LOVE

Focusing on laughter as the book’s theme was a logical choice for McLucas, whose previous book Feint Peace & Other Stories, a collection of science fiction stories, was published in 2012. “I didn’t want the message to be just for children. I wanted it to be for adults, too,” he explains. “I wanted to communicate that laughter really is the best medicine. Laughter is what gets us through a lot. I thought it important to reference what both children and adults would know.” bestofomaha.com

A laughing stalk shown as a positive rather than a derisive term provided McLucas with his starting point. “I thought, ‘What if laughing stalk was something you could grow?’” he remembers. “The whole story started rolling from there and didn’t stop. I could see the entire idea in my head.” That idea involves witty puns, crisp story telling, and an imaginative interpretation of traditional family life. As a child, McLucas was particularly fascinated with how artist Norman Rockwell encapsulated entire narratives in his paintings. “There were stories locked inside them,” he says. “I wanted The Giggle Farm to be like that and to be an ode to Norman Rockwell. I wanted New Age Americana. We can all associate with this family.” This is what gives the book a charming retro feel. For example, the small town of Gale (as in gales of laughter) has oldfashioned storefronts featuring a barber, a dry goods shop, and a laugh ware store. In place of a traditional county fair, there is instead a more playful Funny Festival. There are no video games, mp3 players, or cell phones. They use their imaginations, which McLucas sees as deeply important to childhood development. It’s another reason why he wanted to make The Giggle Farm interactive and developed it as a coloring book. “I want parents and children to be able to work on it together,” he says. “It changes the dynamic of family reading. It makes reading time a family activity.”

INTERACTION: SOMETHING KIDS AND ADULTS NEED

McLucas also envisioned using coloring as a way to reinforce reading. The letters are in a plain, white, bubble font so that children can sound out the words as they color them in. Participating in how each page looks makes the experience personal and creates a sense of ownership in the book. “That way,” McLucas says with a smile, “it’s more yours than mine.” Illustrator Bob Donlan perfectly captures the Rockwellian mood that McLucas’ words convey. His illustrations have a gentleness to them and are filled with the kinds of details children can get lost in for hours. Donlan says he was impressed with the author’s vision for the book. “Chris wanted an interactive book for children to read and color. He liked the idea of a coloring book that would have sophisticated art,” he says. “He wanted it to have an imaginative quality. It is completely original.” The element of The Giggle Farm with the most impact, McLucas thinks, is the dialogue that will occur between parents and children. “I really want them to talk about the story and for children to come back to it over and over.” A book signing and launch party for The Giggle Farm (CreateSpace; $15.00) takes place on Jan. 23, 2014, at 6 p.m. at Legend Comics at 52nd and Leavenworth. You can also find the book at Chapter Two Books in Bellevue and on Amazon.com. HerFamily • January 2014 21

mom on the rocks story by Leslie Murrell • photo by Katie Anderson

Resolving New Year's Resolutions

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New Year’s. I’m a mom, so the minivan and I prefer to stay home. About halfway through the Dick Clark New Year’s Rockin’ Eve special, I get nostalgic and start thinking of what New Year’s resolution I should come up with. Whether you set New Year’s resolutions or you don’t, let’s be real, either way—you never keep them. I’ve never seen a weight loss success story where the thin bombshell proclaims, after asked how she did it, “It was my New Year’s resolution!” Not gonna happen. Ever. By February, I’ve not only failed at the resolution, I’ve forgotten what it was all together. When someone asks me what my resolution is, I will respond with: “I’ll tell you my resolution if you can tell me what yours was last year.” It’s a time-honored tradition—no one can even remember. For the record, let’s review why no one can remember a resolution: You were out partying when you told all your drunk friends what your resolution was. Your friends can’t hold you accountable if they can’t remember where their phones or keys are. A few years ago, I set out to eat clean for an entire year. I was determined. I’m proud to announce that I lasted all the way through April. Think about it. That’s like the Heisman Trophy of New Year’s resolutions. When my kids asked me what a New Year’s resolution was, it changed things. Do I want to teach my kids to set unattainable goals? Do I teach them to wait until midnight on New Year’s Eve to set a goal? Do I teach them to come up with something they hate about themselves so they can change it? As always, my kids’ curiosity changed my perspective on the entire purpose of a New Year’s resolution. How do I pass down this tradition to my kids and make it a positive experience? Last year, I decided my New Year’s resolution would be to try something new each month. It could be anything. So one month I wore eye shadow every day. The next month I drove a different way to work for a week. Another month I went for a week without makeup. Each new thing may seem slight and not as noble as you think. But I had fun with it and learned something fun about myself each time. By May, I forgot to proclaim my monthly something new to try. Then again, I still find myself trying new things. The resolution stuck as a practice, hopefully throughout my life and not just for a year. And so, at our house, I think we’ll come up with something fun and positive for our New Year’s resolutions. It’s the less grandiose resolutions that stick better and make a bigger difference, after all. My kids bring insight to the success of a New Year’s resolution.

ANDROID APP ON

Read more of Murrell’s stories at momontherocks.com. 22 HerFamily • January 2014

omahamagazine.com

food prepared by Chris Wolfgang • photo by Bill Sitzmann

Steak Salad with Blue Cheese Dressing

’T

make healthy choices, but healthy doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice on flavor. Roasted potatoes, tangy orange juice, and thin slices of medium-rare steak come together to make this a salad that tastes as good as you’ll feel about eating it. is the season to

Blue cheese dressing • ¼ cup olive oil • 2 cloves garlic

• ¼ cup orange juice • 2 oz blue cheese

Instructions: Make blue cheese dressing by whisking together all ingredients.

Ingredients: • 1 lb new potatoes • 1 ½ Tbsp olive oil • 1 lb of steak

• 10 oz green beans • 7 oz grape tomatoes • 3 ½ cups baby arugula

Instructions:

Nutrition Facts Calories: 515; Fat: 31g; Saturated fat: 9g; Carbohydrates: 21g; Fiber: 6g; Protein: 35g bestofomaha.com

1. Preheat oven to 475°F. 2. Quarter potatoes and place in a shallow baking dish. Drizzle with olive oil, salt and pepper to taste. Roast, uncovered, about 20 minutes. 3. Cook steaks on hot grill or grill pan until cooked as desired. Allow 4 minutes per side for medium-rare. Let stand before slicing. 4. Boil, steam, or microwave beans until just tender. Drain. 5. Slice steak thinly. In a large bowl, layer arugula, tomatoes, potatoes, beans, and steak. Drizzle with dressing and serve.

HerFamily • January 2014 23

feature story by Cherie Lytle, Children’s Hospital & Medical Center • photo by Bill Sitzmann

Rice Krispies® Treats (with a Twist!)

you can make Rice Krispies treats without marshmallows? No empty calories here! Creamy peanut butter, maple syrup, and honey give this kid-friendly snack a high-energy boost. For more healthy recipes, visit HealthyKohlsKids.com. The Healthy Kohl’s Kids program is a partnership between Children’s Hospital & Medical Center and Kohl’s Department Stores to educate children and parents about healthy nutrition and fitness. id you know that

Ingredients • 6 1/2 cups Rice Krispies® cereal • 1/2 cup raisins • 1 cup creamy peanut butter • 1/4 cup maple syrup • 1/4 cup honey • 2 Tbsp trans-fat free margarine

Preparation 1. Lightly coat a 9x9-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In a large bowl, combine Rice Krispies and raisins. Set aside. 3. In a microwave-safe container, combine peanut butter, maple syrup, honey, and margarine and microwave on high for 1 minute. Remove from microwave and stir. 4. Pour peanut butter mixture over Rice Krispies mixture. Stir to coat the cereal and raisins. 5. Using your hands, press mixture into pan. Refrigerate for 2 hours or overnight, covered. 6. Cut into16 bars. Keep bars refrigerated. Yield: 16 bars

Nutrition Facts Serving Size: 1 bar; Calories: 190; Fat: 9g; Saturated Fat: 2g; Cholesterol: 0; Sodium: 158mg; Carbohydrates: 24g; Fiber: 2g; Protein: 5g * Nutritional information is based on ingredients listed and serving size; any additions or substitutions to ingredients may alter the recipe’s nutritional content

24 HerFamily • January 2014

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