ENGLISH
At the darkest time of the year, we can all kindle a spark of brightness.
It’s no coincidence that two religious festivals that focus on light—Hanukkah and Christmas—take place at the darkest time of year.
In the case of Hanukkah, which is liter ally referred to as the Jewish Festival of Lights, light builds, day by day, from a single flicker into a sparkling blaze of a full Hanukkah menorah.
At Christmas time, the story is told of baby Jesus being born under the Star of Bethlehem, whose light guides the Magi to his side.
And today, on trees, on mantles, and on the outside of many homes, twinkling lights are a bright and inviting symbol of Christmas. I think a lot about light every December.
I think about how warm and calm I feel in the presence of a beautiful holiday
light display.
I think about the fragility of a single light, like that small first candle on my Hanukkah menorah, and the collective power of a group of lights all illuminated together.
And I think about courage—the courage it takes to kindle a spark of light; the strength required to summon light when the short days beckon us to hibernate in the darkness; the bravery we need to keep our lights shining, day by day.
Do you feel the connection between hol iday lights and the act of bravery you use to illuminate yours? Do you feel your inner light fueling the brightness you will put out into the world this holiday season?
How can you build on the sparks that start your journey through this time of year? ◙
SOURCE: https://guideposts.org/
Do you feel your inner light fueling the brightness you will put out into the world this holiday season?
Doctor, I am here today because I am too tired, I don’t want to do anything, I need help. Let me share with you what is going on in my office these days.
I have noticed for the last few years that this is the time of the year that I see more people with complaint of feeling tired, fatigued, unhappy, sad, and willing to go back to Bra zil, as you know most of my patients are from Brazil.
What is going on? Is this a new event? Is this because
we miss Brazil so much? Is this because we have been working too hard during the summer and we are burned out?
Or is this long covid? No. that is not it. This is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), this is a type of depression that affects us during the change of seasons.
As soon the leaves start to fall, the temperature starts to decrease, and the days become shorter many of us may get “SAD”. Are you one of these? Have you ever got
these symptoms? What did you do? Did you move back to Brazil, did you go to a sun nier state such as Florida, California etc.?
I would like to clarify a few things about SAD What causes SAD?
Researchers have not discovered what causes seasonal depression, we know for sure that lack of sunlight triggers depression and we think that could be deficiency of vita min D.
Vitamin D boosts serotonin
(a neurotransmitter); biologic clock change, because there is less sunlight your biological clock shifts and regulation of mood, hormones and sleep may change, consequently your body may not accommo date those changes causing depression. Brain imbalanc es, as said before serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps us to feel happy and unfortu nately when there is less sun light the serotonin decreases, in addition many of us may have already low dose of serotonin.
Another chemical that may contribute to SAD is the over production of melatonin which increases when there is less sunlight.
DO I HAVE SAD?
Seasonal affective disorder presents with these symp toms. Feeling too sad, de pressed most of the days and almost every day.
As soon the leaves start to fall, the temperature starts to decrease, and the days become shorter many of us may get “SAD”. Are you one of these?
Feeling too tired and fatigued, not willing to participate in activities that he or she nor mally likes to do (for example, not willing to attend church services, not willing to see family, not willing to watch his favorite show, etc.)
Other symptoms are craving for eating more, feeling more irritable, and not able con centrate in his or her activi ties and worse is when sui cidal thoughts comes to the mind.
HOW AND WHO DIAGNOSE ME WITH SAD?
There is no blood work for the diagnoses of depression. You should see your medical provider to assess you. He or she may ask you specific questions that will assist to determine the diagnose, in addition he or she may give you some tests for depres sion and anxiety.
Upon the diagnoses you may start the treatment plan.
TREATMENT FOR SAD
Once you are diagnosed with Seasonal affective disorder you may do several things.
a) Increase your sunlight exposure
You can buy a light therapy. Use with caution, some peo ple may not use it for example people with bipolar disorder, diabetic patient with diabe tes retinopathy etc.
Talk to your medical provid er or counselor to instruct you about when to use (better in the morning) how long to take, how many kilowatts and brand etc.
b) Counseling.
I personally believe that (CBT)
cognitive behavioral therapy is the best treatment for de pression.
Please find a good counselor to help you, there are several professionals in this area to help you (Psychiatric nurse practitioner, psychologist, Clinical social worker, Behavioral therapist etc.)
c) Medication.
Sometimes counseling and sunlight therapy are not enough to help you to feel better and medication is necessary.
There are several medications that may help you, your medical provider will choose one for you. You should take it as directed and see him or her frequently to make sure the medication will be effective. Many times, the medication may be changed, increase the dose, or added another one. Therefore, you must follow up with him or her for adjustment.
d) Supplementation.
May start vitamin d Intake daily. Your medical provider can test your vitamin D level and prescribe a good dose of vitamin d, in addition you may take vacation in a sunni er state like Florida, California etc.
If you can travel to Brazil, chose to go in the wintertime instead of summer.
PREVENTING SAD
We never know when you will have the first episode of seasonal affective disorder, but after your first diagnose you will be able to learn a few things.
What worked for you? Stick to what helped you most (sunlight therapy? Counsel ing? Medication?)
Most likely you will be sched uling your medical appoint ments before the SAD recur rence, you will be scheduling short vacations around win
tertime where you can be more outside during the day.
Hopefully you will be doing more exercise which increases your metabolism and releases anxiety. You will be adjusting your diet to avoid craving for too much carbo hydrate etc.
Lastly, there is always help for people who are suffering from depression. You should see your medical provider on a routine basis, and you should see your counselor too.
If you are having any sui cidal thoughts or plan of hurting yourself of others, you should go to the closest Emergency Room. You may also reach out to the suicidal prevention lifeline (800 273 8255). You can also call Uni versity Hospital Crisis team (973 972 0480) and just say, I am too depressed, “I need help “someone will come to see you shortly. If you don’t speak English, call and say, “I need help, I speak Portuguese or Spanish please help me “.
Ask your medical provider for more information about depression.
You can also assess these websites:
https://my.clevelandclinic. org/health
https://www.psychiatry.org/ ◙
LAURO ROCHA
in Nursing
(DNP)
Doctor
Practice
and HIV Program Coordinator whose mission is to improve each of his patient's quality of life, prevent illness and avoid hospital admissions
If you are having any suicidal thoughts or plan of hurting yourself of others, you should go to the closest Emergency Room.
Shalom, people of the Covenant!
Shalom, people of the Promise.
Shalom, people of God’s Love!
Shalom, to all who were born by His Eternal Word.
I have learned to love the Book of God since childhood, and among its passages I find these words to be a corner stone and the fundament of my faith.
“For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; the Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the
peoples on the face of the earth.
The Lord did not set His love on you, nor choose you be cause you were more in num ber than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples; but because the Lord loves you, and because He would keep the oath which He swore to your fathers, the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand, and re deemed you from the house
of bondage, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.
Therefore, know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps cov enant and mercy for a thou sand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;” Deuteron omy 7:6-9
Israel is a special treasure for the Eternal One Himself. Not just every nation in the
face of the Earth, but every inhabitant of this planet must face the Truth that their Cre ator has wisely set apart a people to bless them all, Is
And those who bless Israel are blessed also. This is sim ply a spiritual law and deter mines the rise and fall of all the nations and families of
And those who align their lives, their families, their na tions with these eternal and unchangeable words are meant to come under God’s promises that never fail.
Brazil has been a refuge for Jews throughout its history.
Jewish immigration in Brazil was a migratory movement that began with the coloniza tion of Brazil when Sephardic Jews and New Christians set tled in the colony.
The history of the Jews in Bra zil began since the first Portuguese arrived in the country in 1500, notably Mestre João and Gaspar da Gama who ar rived in the first ships. Several Sephardic Jews immigrated to Brazil during its early set tlements.
Brazil has been a refuge for Jews throughout its history.Josimar Salum
FROM PAGE 5
They were known as “New Christians” - Conversos or Marranos.
Jews were obliged to convert to Roman Catholicism by the Portuguese crown.
Although only baptized Chris tians were subjected to the Inquisition, Jews started set tling in Brazil when the In quisition reached Portugal. Many arrived in Brazil in the 1600’s during the period of Dutch rule, establishing in Re cife the first synagogue.
Kahal Zur Israel (Rock of Israel) was a Jewish synagogue located at Rua do Bom Jesus (Street of the Jews) number 197 in Recife, Brazil.
It was established in 1636 by Portuguese and Spanish Sep hardic Jews that had taken refuge in the Netherlands fleeing forced conversion and were joined by New Chris tians, who possibly helped to build the structure and were already living in the colony. It was the first synagogue erect ed in the Americas.
In the 19th and 20th centuries, the immigration of Jews to Brazil increased, and it was mainly composed of Ashkenazi Jews from Eastern Europe.
But here is a landmark we cherish of goodness and jus tice in our relations with Is rael.
It was our hero Oswaldo Ara nha who, after three years of Adolf Hitler's cruel attempt to exterminate the Jewish peo ple, helped to establish the State of Israel on November 29, 1947.
Oswaldo gave an unprecedented vote in the United Nations meeting, which was made possible six months later, through the persistence
and firmness of those who believed that the land be longed to the Jews that the Jewish State was founded.
Yes, on May 14, 1948, David Ben-Gurion, the head of the Jewish Agency, proclaimed the establishment of the State of Israel.
It is true that there have been and there are antisemitic movements in Brazil execut ed by individuals and political leftist parties, but these movements are becoming inexpressive shadows in com parison to the greatness of the multitude of Brazilians that learned to love Israel and its people.
There are millions and mil lions of Brazilians, who wor ship the GOD of Israel every week, who pray constantly for the Peace of Jerusalem and that cherish love and respect for the people of Israel.
I am talking about more than 160 million Brazilian voices that support the State of Is rael.
Prime Minister Benjamin Ne tanyahu said in December 2018 that the government of Jair Bolsonaro would bring "a new era" in relations be tween Israel and "the major power of Brazil".
President Bolsonaro has turned Brazil in the last 4 years into Israel's new best friend, indeed.
The two nations enjoy a degree of arms cooperation and maintain close political and military ties.
Brazil is a full member state of the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance, and several Brazilian elected offi cials participate in the Israel Allies Caucus or Israel Allies Foundation which mobilizes
Jews started settling in Brazil when the Inquisition reached Portugal. Many arrived in Brazil in the 1600’s during the period of Dutch rule
In the 19th and 20th centuries, the immigration of Jews to Brazil increased
pro-Israel parliamentarians in governments worldwide.
Our recently elected Congress has more than 70% constitu ents that are also pro-Israel and our First Lady Michelle Bolsonaro had recently invit ed our friend Albert Veksler, his wife, and others to cel ebrate Yom Kippur and they did at the beginning of this month in the Alvorada Palace.
And they hosted the First Jerusalem Prayer Breakfast in Brasilia to our amazement at the end of the month.
The Jerusalem Prayer Break fast (JPB) is a prayer move ment initiated and chaired by former Knesset Member Rob ert Ilatov, and co-chaired by U.S. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann and the director is Albert Veksler.
Throughout the year, the JPB brings together government leaders and influential Christian leaders from all walks of society to pray for the peace of Jerusalem.
We have prayed and worked to re-elect Jair Messias Bol sonaro for many reasons, but especially to consolidate the friendship, mutual sup port and mutual alliances be tween Israel and Brazil.
I was in Jerusalem to pray for Brazil, Israel, and the US Election.
And from Jerusalem we have proclaimed these timeless chants:
JERUSALEM! YERUSHALAIM!
“Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.
For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; But the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you.
The Gentiles shall come to your light, And kings to the brightness of your rising.
“The sons of foreigners shall build up your walls, and their kings shall minister to you;
For in My wrath, I struck you, But in My favor, I have had mercy on you.
Therefore, your gates shall be open continually; They shall not be shut day or night, That men may bring to you the wealth of the Gentiles, and their kings in procession.
“Whereas you have been for saken and hated, so that no one went through you, I will make you an eternal excel lence, A joy of many genera tions.
“The sun shall no longer be your light by day, nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you;
But the Lord will be to you an everlasting light, And your God your glory.
Your sun shall no longer go down, nor shall your moon withdraw itself.
For the Lord will be your everlasting light, And the days of your mourning shall be end ed.
Also, your people shall all be righteous; They shall inherit the land forever,
The branch of My planting, the work of My hands, That I may be glorified.” ◙
Our hero Oswaldo Aranha, after three years of Adolf Hitler's cruel attempt to exterminate the Jewish people, helped to establish the State of Israel on November 29, 1947
President Bolsonaro has turned Brazil in the last 4 years into Israel's new best friend
“I will celebrate the 60th an niversary of my Carnegie Hall debut. What madness! How old I am, my God!
Counting all the cases in NY, I think there were more than 40 performances in the city, since the beginning of my career, at Carnegie Hall, Lincoln Center, Metropolitan Museum, Brooklyn College, Queens College.
The two greatest Brazilian artists who performed, not only in NY but in the entire United States, were Guiomar Novaes and I.
And me, with all the prob
lems you know, 25 surgeries, a rare disease. Incidentally, the WHO will move the lo cation of the Focal Dystonia press conference to a larger
The conference, on Novem ber 18th, the day before the concert, will be about this rare disease, recognized only in 1982, and I've had it for 64 years, living with the pain and discomfort in my arms, and that's why The New Yorker called me a 'musical hero'.”
Thus began our conversation with conductor João Carlos Martins, who conducted the NOVUS NY orchestra in a concert commemorating its debut on the same stage 60 years ago, on November 19th.
- Although you have returned to the Carnegie Hall stage several times, how does this performance commemorate the 60th anniversary of your debut on the same stage?
- The feeling is the same I had when I first played at Carne gie Hall. The first time it was Eleanor Roosevelt, who had
every time I go on stage, it feels like this, my mission is to look for perfectionism by conveying emotionJournalist Arilda Costa McClive interview with João Carlos Martins
FROM PAGE 8
attended a concert of mine in Washington, and invited me and sponsored my NY debut.
When it was time to go on stage, I thought: the mission of an artist is to seek, a first thought that came to my mind, in 1962. In my life I've performed about 4 thousand presentations, of which 1.8 thousand as a pianist, and a couple thousand as a conduc tor, already.
So, every time I go on stage, it feels like this, my mission is to look for perfectionism by conveying emotion. And this will be my feeling on the 19th of November. Of course, it's an emotion, because at 82 you have projects for the next 20, it's because you believe in life.
- How did the idea of invit ing NOVUS NY to this concert come about?
- It's because this time, after the pandemic, it was difficult to take my own orchestra, the Bachiana Philharmonic SESISP. Like NOVUS NY the scores have already been sent and we will have three rehearsals in the days before the con cert. They are top-notch mu sicians, and everything works like magic. That's my hope. I still don't know the orchestra, but I know it's spectacular.
- The repertoire features pieces by Bach, Heitor VillaLobos, and André Mehmari. What were your criteria for this choice?
- Well, to give you an idea, with all the accidents – I had two peripheral accidents, an ulnar nerve injury from a fall while playing soccer (in New York’s Central Park) and a rob bery in Bulgaria, which gave me a brain injury that left me several months in treatment at Jackson Memorial Hos
pital in Miami - apart from the focal dystonia, which has haunted me for 64 years, the choice had to be more me and my life.
I gave more than 500 concerts playing the work of Bach, of whom I recorded the com plete work for keyboard, as a pianist. So, the first part had to be Bach. The second part had to be a composer who was inspired by Bach, VillaLobos, hence a Prelude of the Bachianas Brasileiras. And fi nally, André Mehmari.
The Bachiana Foundation (created and directed by Martins) commissioned him a suite based on the origins of Brazilian folklore. Then, an Orchestral Suite where, along the way, you will recognize “March soldier, paper head”, and other pieces, in the mid dle.
And André Mehmari, with out a doubt, is Villa-Lobos' successor in Brazil. And then the piano comes in and, with the bionic gloves on, I want to play three pieces.
But I still don't know, be cause of dystonia, which still doesn't have a cure, it may be that the hands are very tired at the end. But I can guarantee two pieces, I'll play Morricone's Cine Paradiso, a piece by Schumann and, if my hands allow it after conduct ing the concert (because my hand is twitching because of dysthymia) my idea is to do the same encore I gave 60 years ago, with all my limita tions.
- The public can certainly ex pect surprises.
- What happens is that the pi ano will only enter the stage – the entrance of the piano is not on the program – when I finish conducting. The back stage people will take the pi ano to the stage as a surprise,
CONTINUING FROM PAGE 9 and then the bionic gloves.
People around the world know that I play the piano with these bionic gloves. The important thing is that in your life, you can have mistakes and successes.
The mistakes you try to cor rect and the successes, im prove. I would say to you that in the last 20 years, I have tried hard to improve the ar rangements and assume a position, in our country, called social responsibility. In my opinion, I never make a politi cal statement, the only thing I do, I use John Kennedy's fa mous phrase: "It's not what your country can do for you, it's what you can do for your country".
If everyone does their part, the nation will grow. This is my opinion. And I'm doing my social responsibility work (the maestro maintains musicalization projects with young people in socially vulnerable situations in the state of São Paulo).
When I started my life as a conductor, we started to give concerts at Sala São Paulo and at Teatro Municipal (Mu nicipal Theater) and we want ed to do a work of democrati zation with classical music.
Many people said that the public would say “at Sala São Paulo, what clothes do I wear”, that they were not familiar with classical music. So, with my democratization campaign with Bachiana Phil harmonic SESI-SP, we reached 17 million people live. During the pandemic we reached 3 million people doing online concerts.
What happens is that my au dience in New York is half Brazilian and half North American, though Brazilians
Carnegie Hall is a place where culture is a right for all segments of society.
- The day before the concert you will give a conference at WHO on Focal Dystonia. Please tell us more about your relationship with the disease and the purpose of this conference.
- A lot of scientists are coming to this conference, from Japan, South Korea, Austra lia, Germany, and I'm going to be very dedicated to the cam paign about what it means in a person's life. You can't imagine the number of sui cides among the people who have focal dystonia.
At first the doctors thought it might be a psychologi cal problem, and I knew it wasn't. But it was finally dis covered as a rare disease in 1982, and I am now on the board of the world's leading dystonia organization – it has several foundations all over the world.
I even heard that scientists from South Korea published a 17-page article in the jour nal Science, after a year of re search.
I had a nine-hour brain opera tion with Dr. Paulo Niemeyer (Brazilian neurosurgeon), but to date there is no cure
By the time they find a cure for dystonia or Parkinson's disease, one will go after the other.
But I learned to trick the brain. I had several surgeries, until the doctors said I could never play professionally again. The next day I took my first con ducting class. At 63 I started a new life, I'm 82 and with a lot of energy, giving about 140 concerts a year. Imagine that!
- You usually say that science heals the body, culture heals the soul. What is the importance of culture in the formation of a citizen?
- Culture is of such importance for the formation of a citizen and, as I say, in a country, a nation, all physical aspects must be treated. Education, health care, everything must be treated with love.
But culture is the soul of a na tion. So, an artist's mission is very strong, because he is part of that team. That's the role we play in this endeavor.
I say that science heals the body, because after all, I had 25 surgeries to keep my ca reer, and art heals the soul. That was the phrase used in the exhibition about my life, an exhibition of one thousand square meters (at the FIESP Cultural Center, in São Paulo),
last year, with the title: “Sci ence heals the body, culture heals the soul”. By the way, I made a post on Instagram (@ maestrojoaocarlosmartins) to which Viola Davis, Charl ize Theron and others gave amazing and supportive com-
Usually, Classical music con tributors have few followers on Instagram – maybe 15 or 20 thousand. It was Alexan dre Nero (Brazilian actor) who convinced me to start posting on Instagram.
I didn't even know what Instagram was, I'm so old fashioned. I didn't even know what it meant. And three years ago, I started. There are few followers, but between Instagram and Facebook I have almost 700 thousand followers.
And in this post that Viola made, where she said, "don't give up", it reverberated around the world, with 33 million views. It was the first time I played with the bionic gloves. That's what Alexandre Nero told me that through the internet you help to de mocratize classical music and in this one-minute post I'm playing a Bach piece!
- After New York, do you have other concerts scheduled here?
- I return to São Paulo, where I have a concert, and then I go to Shanghai, where I will cel ebrate the 20th anniversary of my last concert as a profes sional pianist, in China.
- Leave a message for the Brazilian community United States.
- Go to Carnegie Hall, because going to Carnegie Hall is ev eryone's right. Everyone says that it is an elitist space and I say that there is no elitist art. Art is for all of society. ◙
seven words from a stranger were
to ruin the rest of the day for John. He’d just enjoyed a lovely week at the beach with his family and had stopped at a department store on the last morning of their vacation. John was in a great mood just before this incident, and then wound-up fuming for the entire 6-hour car ride home, unable to let it go.
All of us have encountered people who were mean,
rude, unfair, or downright nasty toward us. It could be our boss’s criticism, a family member’s misdirected anger, or a driver’s careless impatience. Whatever the source, these run-ins tend to lodge in our minds, like an annoy ing tune that’s stuck in our heads. Each time we revisit the memory, we taste the bit terness of our anger and frus tration.
“I can’t believe they said that,” we say to ourselves as we think of all the things we should have said at the time to get back at them. We might be especially irritated when someone accused us of doing something wrong -- and even more so
if the accusation was false, as it was for John (he had en tered through the entrance). And worst of all, we know they’ve probably long since moved on, and we’re left with the emotional fallout.
“You’re going in through the exit, idiot.” These
enoughSeth
All of us have encountered people who were mean, rude, unfair, or downright nasty toward us
How can we avoid letting oth ers’ bad behavior toward us ruin our day?
FIND ACCEPTANCE
Begin with acceptance. I don’t mean condoning their be havior or being somebody’s doormat. Acceptance here means acknowledging that this sort of thing happens in our world. People act unfair ly. Drivers do ignorant things. Co-workers upset us. Much of the struggle that gets us stuck after these encounters is our insistence that we can’t believe they did that. Release this resistance when you no tice it. Try saying instead, “Of course they did. Sometimes people are like that.”
You may also need to accept that the score won’t be even, despite our strong desire for revenge. I was once honked at on my bike by a passing motorist for no apparent rea son as I rode to work. In my anger I chased down the car at the next traffic light, only to realize I had no recourse once I got there -- no horn to blast them with and no desire for a face-to-face confronta tion. I had no choice but to accept the unfairness and mi nor humiliation, and continue on my way.
REDEFINE
“WINNING”
If you do want to move past the sense that you lost and they won, reconsider the story you tell yourself about winning and losing in these encounters. Retaliating is unlikely to make you feel any better, as John discovered.
He turned around and shout ed something equally rude to the man who insulted him, but felt no less upset about it afterward. We can even feel doubly upset when we allow
ourselves to be provoked -once for the initial attack, and twice for taking the bait and stooping to their level.
If you do want to get even with the person, remind your self that responding in kind is not the way to do it. If “living well is the best revenge,” the best “comeback” may be to brush off the unpleasantness and get back to enjoying your day.
RELEASE REGRET
Most of the time when we’re caught off guard by mean ness, we later think of a per fectly devastating comeback that we feel sure would have put the other person in their place. However, our fantasies about how things could have gone probably aren’t realistic.
In my experience, obnoxious people are incredibly skilled at deflecting comebacks and turning them back on their source. They probably have a
lot more practice than you do at being mean, and so they’re better at it. It’s fun to imagine having the last word, but most likely we wouldn’t have the satisfaction we imagine. For this reason, we can let go of regret and accept that we’re just not that skilled at being unkind.
OBSERVE YOUR ANGER
Being treated badly can lead to a sort of “meta-irritation” -- being upset about being upset. We might know it’s pointless to keep dwelling on the incident but we keep re playing it. The more we try to force ourselves to stop thinking about it, the more it in trudes on our awareness.
Rather than fighting what the mind is doing, shift your perspective. No matter what you’re thinking or feeling, take a half-step back and ob serve it. Notice what an inter esting experience you’re hav-
ing -- the physical sensations in your body, the effects on your breathing, the thoughts and fantasies going through your mind. Watch the anger and rumination, rather than completely identifying with them.
The reactions you’re having to a large extent have a life of their own. Hold all of them with curiosity and compas sion. Let them come along for the ride as you go about your business.
OWN YOUR HAPPINESS
You might believe implicitly that other people determine your happiness: If they treat you well, you feel content; if they don’t, you feel upset. But in truth, others’ behavior is only ever about them, and our well-being doesn’t have to depend on what they do. Just because someone throws something down doesn’t mean we have to pick it up. We don’t have to outsource our happiness to anyone.
The key is to decide in ad vance to find contentment within; if we wait until some thing provokes us, we’re al ready sunk. We can start small, determining that just for today I’m going to own my happiness -- I’m not renting it from anyone else. This decision applies not only to how others treat us but to life in general. Nothing outside ourselves has to have the fi nal say in whether we’re OK. The determination to choose your own happiness is the ul timate superpower. ◙
By Seth J. Gillihan, PhDJuly 14th, 2021Clinical psychologistSOURCE: https://www.web md.com/
If you do want to get even with the person, remind yourself that responding in kind is not the way to do it.
New York is dominated by renter-occupied one or twobedroom apartments. In New York 76.75% of dwellings are rentals. As per Neigborhood scout.com, a real estate data provider, one and two-bed room large apartment complexes are the most common housing units in NYC. Other housing types prevalent in NYC include single-family detached homes, duplexes, townhouses, and homes con verted to apartments.
The New York housing market has affordable units, please
double check the NYC Hous ing Connect:
https://housingconnect.nyc. gov. New York's single-family homes account for just 1.15% of the city’s housing units. During the last twelve months, the New York real estate did cool off. However, the cumulative appreciation rate over the ten years has been 38.81%, which ranks in the top 30% nationwide. Eval uate the specifics of the NYC housing market at the time you intend to purchase. New York City's housing market is one of the most costly and competitive in the country. There are 237 neighborhoods in New York (as per Realtor. com). Tribeca has a median listing price of $3.9M, making it the most expensive neighborhood. Riverdale, in The Bronx is the most affordable neighborhood, with a median
New York's single-family homes account for just 1.15% of the city’s housing units
listing price of $360K.
There are some buyer-friend ly neighborhoods in New York City where buyers have a bit more negotiating power in neighborhoods as compared to sellers. Jackson Heights, Queens is one of New York City’s most buyer-friendly neighborhoods now with home prices under $700,000. Other buyer-friendly markets with median sales price be low $700,000 include Rego Park, Queens where the me dian sales price in Oct 2021 was $389K, trending down -by 8.9% year-over-year. The sale-to-list price ratio was 100 percent.
The median list price of homes in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn was $499K in Oct 2021, trending down -by 5% year-over-year. The sale-tolist price ratio was 97.72 percent. The median list price of homes in East Flatbush, Brooklyn was $650K, trending up 8.9% year-over-year. The sale-to-list price ratio was 100 percent. The median list price of homes in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn was $569K, trending up 16.4% year-overyear. The sale-to-list price ra tio was 97.03 percent.
Buyers have a bit more ne gotiating power in neighbor hoods where the median home price falls between $700,000 and $1 million. In areas like Midtown East, Manhattan where the me dian sales price is $872,500. Homes in Midtown East sold for approximately the ask ing price on average in Oct 2021. The other neighbor hoods best for buyers looking to spend between $700,000 and $1 million are Bayside, where the median sales price in Oct 2021 was $720,000 and the sale-to-list price ratio was 99.37 percent; Flushing,
Queens ($838,000, 96.38 per cent); and Bay Ridge, Brook lyn ($499,000, 98.14 percent).
All of this could vary from time to time and can be checked on Realtor.com. Check out some of the best neighborhoods for investing in New York for the long term→ These neigh borhoods have been selected from all five boroughs.
If you think of investing in NYC, you have decided on a long-term investment prop erty. Here are the ten neigh borhoods in NYC having the highest real estate apprecia tion rates since 2000—List by Neigborhoodscout.com.
Inwood North
Marble Hill
Washington Heights South Roosevelt Island
W 115th St / Amsterdam Ave
E 57th St / Madison Ave Madison Ave / E 52nd St W 58th St / Grand Army Plz Tribeca South W 70th St / Amsterdam Ave
Sincerely, my best regards
Tribeca has a median listing price of $3.9M, making it the
In Ancient History there were incredible events in the Middle East that place us to day, all over the world, before a decision of immeasurable scope.
It happened on the occasion of Christmas. A shopkeeper placed an open Bible as a decoration in the shop win dow and marked a particu lar verse with a red pencil. Everyone who passed could read what was written, that is, it was the summary of the Christmas Story:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begot ten Son, that whosoever be lieveth in him should not per ish, but have everlasting life.”
(John 3:16).
3:16)
Two ladies passed by the window, saw the Bible, and read the verse. At that, one of them said: “What a horrible thing! Nowadays they mix the Bible into everything, even at the Christmas party!”
According to polls, one in ten people in Germany does not know why Christmas is cel ebrated. Many relate Christ mas with gifts, family, the Eu ropean winter, Coca Cola, and Santa Claus, but not with the Bible. It is a sad observation, because the Bible shows that, behind Christmas, we find one of the most moving and true events of all time.
As the Bible reports, in ancient Babylon there lived a Jewish prophet named Daniel. The King of Babylon had
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (John
named him the chief of his seers and astrologers. Daniel, however, was not a seer, but he was a man who spoke the truth because the Spirit of God lived in him.
This Spirit enabled him to in terpret riddles and to proph esy in a way that surpassed anything that ever existed. He announced a divine Sav ior-King in Israel. Daniel left permanent tracks behind him in Babylon.
600 years have passed. A supernatural light, which the Bible calls a star, appeared in the skies over the little town of Bethlehem.
The astrologers of distant Babylon observed this celes tial phenomenon. It is very likely that they remembered the writings of Daniel. Imme diately they set out, travelling more than 1,000 km to meet the divine King.
The Babylonian astrologers, who in History are known as the “Wizards of the East”, headed to the Israeli capital – Jerusalem. They began to seek information: “Where is the newborn King of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the east and have come to worship him” (Mat thew 2:2).
At that time, the world was dominated by the Roman Empire. In Israel, the Romans named a certain Herod as king, even though he was not an Israelite. He was fright ened to hear of foreign astrol ogers and immediately sum moned the Jewish scribes to a meeting.
They, in turn, confirmed that their ancient prophets had heralded a Savior-King. The prophet Micah, some 700 years ago, had even indicated his birthplace: “In Bethlehem
of Judea” (Matthew 2:5).
Something exceptional in these circumstances was the following fact: the mother of Jesus was a virgin, and the Father was God - Holy Spirit. He, the King of the Jews, and Savior of the world, was born in a stable. Isn't it fantastic?
Several hundred years before the birth of the Savior-King, the Jewish prophet Isaiah had concretely announced: "Behold, a virgin shall conceive and bear a son..." (Matthew 1:23). The deep meaning contained in this episode is very serious and demonstrates the need for this virgin birth.
God created the first couple – Adam and Eve – free from sin. Both, however, broke God's law and became sin ners. Since then, all people are born in sin and are there fore lost by nature. But God does not want men to be lost. He “...desires all men to be saved...” (1 Timothy 2:4).
Thus, the need arose for a man without sin to be born and who would never transgress the Law of God, so that he would take the punishment for sin and save the world.
That's why Jesus came to this world, not through the seed of a man, but generated di rectly by the Creator, in the virgin. The apostle Paul ex plains: “...For if many died because of the transgression of the one, how much more did the grace of God, that is, the gift through the grace of the one-man Jesus Christ, overflow to many! (Rom 5:15 - NIV).
However, God did not simply send His Son, at any moment, as Savior to the world, but he did so at a time previously determined by Him, as
“Where is the newborn King of the Jews? For we have seen his star in the east and have come to worship him” (Matthew 2:2).
He, the King of the Jews, and Savior of the world, was born in a stable.
“When the fullness of time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law...” (Galatians 4:4)
the apostle Paul said: “But when the fullness of time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law...” (Galatians 4:4).
Despite the bad intentions of the rulers, the world king doms of the time contributed so that Christmas could hap pen at that predetermined time.
In the ancient Egyptian kingdom, for example, a slave clan grew into a people from which the Savior-King was to emerge.
Later, when this people were enslaved in Babylon, God re awakened that Jewish yearn ing for the prophesied and almost forgotten King-Savior. When then, Persia conquered Babylon, God used the Per sians to lead the people of Is rael back to their homeland, because there the Savior-King would be born.
Subsequently, the world domination of Greece spread a new language throughout the world. The Jewish Bible – the Old Testament – was translated into the Greek language, and later the writings of the New Testament were added, also in the Greek language.
Then an even more power ful kingdom emerged on the world stage: the Romans pro vided for pacification, created a new system of roads, and eliminated borders between countries.
Now the time had finally come for the “first Christ mas”, for the Coming of the Savior of the world – for the conditions had been created for the speedy proclamation of the Good News that the Son of God had become Man to save people from their sins. and the corresponding punishment.
In the History of the World, there was only one Person whose curriculum had al ready been described be fore His birth by the Jewish prophets. In the History of the World there is also only one Person who was placed in this world by God, through a virgin. And, in the History of the World, there is only one Person whose birth was prepared by the world empires. Could this be a mere coincidence?
The contexts form a meaning too clear for them to be untrue. It is about our eternal salvation: God works on our behalf. Through Christmas, He wants to communicate to us that there is not a single person who is so far from Him that he cannot approach the Lord.
Once the Lord Jesus was asked how the truth of His words could be verified. He responded with a concrete invitation: Whoever believes in his words will find that they do not originate with a person but originate with God the Father.
Each person can take the test, like astrologers, and come to worship the King. Through Jesus and his birth, God comes to meet us to present us with the gift of grace, the forgiveness of all sins and eternal life with Him in Heaven. This is Christmas!
God has come a long way to save us. Eastern astrologers traveled a long way to find Jesus. Have the courage to also take that step of faith towards Jesus! ◙
the Romans provided for pacification, created a new system of roads, and eliminated borders between countries.
Through Christmas, God wants to communicate to us that there is not a single person who is so far from Him that he cannot approach the Lord.
Exposure to second hand smoke, even for a short time, can be harm ful to both children and adults. Most people are exposed to secondhand smoke in their homes or the places they work. People may also be ex posed to secondhand smoke in public places like bars, restaurants, and casinos, as well as in vehicles.
Smokefree laws for all workplaces and public areas protect people who do not smoke. There are also steps you can take to protect yourself and your fam ily from secondhand smoke, such as making your home and vehicles smokefree. These laws and policies are the only way to fully protect people who do not smoke from secondhand smoke exposure. They also can help people who smoke quit, and can help keep young people from starting to smoke.
WHAT IS SECONDHAND SMOKE?
Secondhand smoke is smoke from burning tobacco prod ucts, like cigarettes, cigars, hookahs, or pipes.
Secondhand smoke also is smoke that has been exhaled, or breathed out, by the per son smoking.
There are more than 7,000 chemicals in tobacco smoke, including hundreds of chemi cals that are toxic and about 70 that can cause cancer. Here are just a few of the chemicals and poisons in tobacco smoke:
WHO IS HARMED BY SECONDHAND SMOKE?
Anyone who is exposed to it, even for a short time. Sec ondhand smoke can cause health problems in children and adults, and can even be deadly. Since 1964, about 2,500,000 people who do not smoke have died from health problems caused by secondhand smoke exposure.
Because more communities and states are adopting
smokefree laws, the number of adults exposed to second hand smoke in public places like worksites, bars, restau rants, and casinos has gone down. However, for many, especially children, exposure to secondhand smoke happens in places like homes and vehi cles. You are especially likely to be exposed to secondhand smoke if you live in multiunit housing—like apartment buildings with many homes next to one another in the same place.
What Health Problems Can Secondhand Smoke Cause?
HOW SECONDHAND SMOKE HARMS ADULTS
Even if you have never smoked, secondhand smoke
can still cause: Heart disease, Lung cancer, Stroke. Even brief exposure to secondhand smoke can be harmful to your heart and blood vessels.
HOW SECONDHAND SMOKE HARMS CHILDREN
Because their bodies are still growing, infants and young children are especially vulnerable to health risks from secondhand smoke.
Babies who breathe second hand smoke are more likely to die unexpectedly from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), also called crib death, than babies who are not ex posed to smoke from burning tobacco products.
Babies exposed to second hand smoke in the womb or after birth are born and grow up with weaker lungs than babies that are not exposed to secondhand smoke.
Babies and children who breathe secondhand smoke are sick more often with bronchitis, pneumonia, and ear infections than those that are not exposed to second hand smoke.
For children with asthma, breathing secondhand smoke can trigger an asthma attack. ◙
SOURCE: CDC.COM
Whether you’re a social butterfly or a shy wallflower, you’re human and therefore wired for connection with others. After living through a year of social distancing recently, many people found themselves feeling more alone than ever. And that isn’t good - a lack of personal connection can lead to emo tional and physical problems like:
· Sleep issues
· Feeling stressed out
· Altered brain function
· Increased heart problems
· Higher stroke risk · Poor decision-making
· Memory problems
· Higher risk of substance abuse.
It doesn’t take a pandemic to make you feel isolated. Personal events can make you feel disconnected, too.
Sarah Hightower, a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, recalls a moment of deep loneliness after a miscarriage several years ago. “I knew I wasn’t the only one who had experienced this, but in the moment, you can
feel like the only one. I was in deep grief and loneliness.”
As a therapist, Hightower tries to help clients realize that talking about loneliness is a good thing. “It can be a call to action,” she says. “Those feel ings are a wake-up call to look at things in our lives that we can change.”
If you’re feeling lonely these days -- maybe more than nor-
mal -- here are ways to get to the other side.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Your inner critic can feed feelings of loneliness. If you think you’re different from other people or that you don’t fit in, it can be harder to bond with others. You could get stuck in a loneliness rut. Recognize your thoughts and see them
as a chance to make some changes. “Loneliness is like pain,” says David Cates, PhD, director of behavioral health at Nebraska Medicine in Omaha, NE. “It can be hard to measure, but you know when you feel it.” Recognizing that you’re out of sorts can be a sign that you may need more time with friends and family.
BE KIND TO OTHERS
Taking time out of your sched ule to help others can be a great help. Lending a hand can unlock your inner joy and help you feel like part of a larger community. Check on an older relative or neighbor. Volunteer for a soup kitchen or for a virtual community event.
“We know people are hurt ing nationally because of the pandemic,” Cates says. “The truth is we were dealing with loneliness and lack of social connections long before a global pandemic.” Experts like Cates note the decline in social networks that can result from things like smaller family sizes, an increase in social media, families living far ther apart, and having fewer bonds with volunteer and re ligious groups.
It doesn’t take a pandemic to make you feel isolated. Personal events can make you feel disconnected, too.
PLAN AHEAD
There are days on the calen dar that can make you sad. Plan ahead for those days or seasons and put something fun on the calendar. Try to meet safely with friends or family. When a day (or time of year) you dread has some thing you’re looking forward to instead, it can help.
“I call it proactive self-care,” Hightower says. “Recognize that you expect to feel lonely during a certain time and be gentler with yourself.” Plan a drive or to meet with friends. Looking forward to some thing joyful can bring joy.
ADOPT A PET
If you have a fur baby already, you can likely share the bene fits of having a pet at home. If not, consider welcoming one to your family. Research sug gests having a pet can low er blood pressure, improve your mood, and ease stress. The extra cuddly company can also help if you’re feeling lonely. Make sure you can handle the costs and extra tasks required, though.
USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY
Hopping onto social media can help you feel connected. But too much time online can lead to loneliness.
“Social media can sometimes trick your mind into thinking you’re making real connec tions when you’re not,” Hightower says. “Social media isn’t bad, but it shouldn’t replace real connections.”
Take a look at how much time you spend online. “We’re so focused on likes, but those don’t translate into feelings of connection,” says Adam Brown, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at
the New School for Social Research in New York City. Instead, use social media to help you make connections that go beyond likes and comments. Play online games with your family and friends. Try out apps that let you watch a show or movie with another person.
RECONNECT WITH OTHERS
You don’t need a cast of thou sands to stop feeling lonely. Experts say that having a few close friends can make a big difference. Start with a phone call and then consider sched uling an online chat or a cof fee or tea that you enjoy in person or virtually together.
Check in with others, knowing they may also find it hard to leave their comfort zone, too. Restart a family game
night or plan a monthly on line party with friends across the miles.
MOVE YOUR BODY
Moving has a host of benefits, including helping you beat the blues of loneliness. Try dance, yoga, or going for a walk, or find an exercise class online. Staying active can help with depression, anxiety, stress, and a host of other things that can come with being lonely. Don’t have time or the energy for a long workout? No problem. Start with 5 to 10 minutes each day and build from there. Stud ies show moderate exercise -- where you breathe heavier than normal and get a little warm -- can have great ben efits. Seek therapy
Everyone feels lonesome from time to time. But ex-
perts say there’s a problem if you feel:
· Lonely more than once a week
· Empty
·
Like you don’t belong
If you can’t shake these feelings, you might need to talk to a counselor. The loss of a loved one, divorce, retirement, or moving to a new town can unleash lonely feel ings. A therapist can help you work through these moments and give you tools to make them better.
LEARN TO CHERISH ALONE TIME
It may sound strange but spending time alone can help if you feel lonely. “It’s impor tant to distinguish between loneliness and social isolation,” Cates says. Loneliness is subjective. There are people who are isolated who aren’t lonely and others who are around a lot of people with a deep sense of loneliness.
Spending time with yourself can help you feel recharged; bring greater clarity and fo cus, and boost creativity. It can also help you with your relationships, as spending quality time with yourself can help you appreciate your time with others. As with anything, balance is key. If you’re spending too much time alone, your gut will tell you. You may feel something is off. That can be a good sign to get back in touch with others.
Loneliness doesn’t have to be a constant in your life. Making a few changes can return the joy, connection, and friend ships that are waiting around the corner. ◙
© 2021 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.
Experts say that having a few close friends can make a big difference.