OMG! Magazine (Vol. 2, Issue #4)

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Dear OMG! Readers, OMG! recently hosted two events that were huge successes. This past Valentine’s Sunday, OMG! celebrated the 2-year anniversary of Streetcar Charlie’s Bar & Grille in Tampa by hosting a party which featured an exclusive performance by Bebe Zahara Benet, winner of Rupaul’s Drag Race. On the 20th of this month, OMG! proudly presented The Red Ball at Parliament House in Orlando which included a performance by our last issue’s cover icon, Wild Child. The party continues with the biggest event of them all, the Winter Party Festival in Miami. On behalf of the OMG! Family, I would like to thank you all for the continual support and look forward to seeing you dancing on the sands of South Beach! Sincerely,

Okie Okesene Tilo Executive Editor

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professor at a state-run college in California is under fire after he was alleged to have passed off the teachings of the Bible as scientific fact in his introductory health science class. Dr. Brad Lopez, a professor at Fresno City College, was investigated by the school this month after students complained to the administration and to the news media. David Chenoit, one of Dr. Lopez’s students, said, “He started out asking was Jesus haploid or diploid [biological terms meaning ‘derived from one set of chromosomes or two sets’]... and he directed us to go to the Bible for proof and write a paper on it.” A hypothetical question such as this could spark spirited discussion, if it weren’t for Dr. Lopez’s demand that the Bible be the only source used for

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the paper, which is where the professor fell afoul of the safeguard separating church from state. Dr. Lopez didn’t stop there; in one lecture he prepared slides for his class which deemed homosexuality a “biological misapplication of human sexuality” under the banner “homosexual facts.” He then went on to say that “cures” for homosexuality included psychological therapy and hormone treatments. He also said that GLBT persons raising children were “a threat to society,” calling the arrangement a “one-sided foundation for raising children.” He continued, describing abortion as murder and “the leading cause of death in America,” quoting Biblical passages as “empirical proof.” In the same discussion, he presented a slide on what he called “environmental


health” and described the world ending by fire, with the quote “that is the real global warming we should be worried about” emphasized in the slide. In a videotaped speech Dr. Lopez made at the Fresno People’s Church, which he later posted to the videosharing website YouTube, he admitted to using the Bible in the classroom as proof for scientific arguments. At one point in the video, he boasted about the reactions he received from students when introducing the Bible into the curriculum. “I wish you could sit next to me and see the eyeballs when they get that big ... Hey you can’t read that in school. That may be true in K-12 but it doesn’t exist in college yet. So, if you find me strung up somewhere, you’ll know what happened,” Dr. Lopez joked. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) fired back with its own statement, denouncing Dr. Lopez’s view of “free rein” in the classroom. “We’re asking Fresno City College to insure that all of its health instruc-

tion is unbiased and medically accurate and it needs to stop religious indoctrination from taking place in the classroom under both the Federal and State Constitutions,” said Elizabeth Gill, attorney with the ACLU. For its part, Fresno City College responded with a letter which states, “The College takes its non-discrimination and prohibition of harassment policies seriously, investigates alleged violations and takes appropriate actions to enforce compliance. Beyond that, we don’t comment on personnel matters for confidentiality reasons.” The ACLU gave the college one week to respond to their letter with disciplinary action. That week came and went earlier this month with nary a peep from the school. If this story made you livid and made you want things to change, tell the school’s president, Cynthia Azari, at (559) 442-4600, extension 8251, or e-mail her at cynthia.azari@fresnocitycollege.edu. Don’t let this get swept under the rug.

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Late last year, OMG! published a human rights profile on the central African nation of Uganda, detailing the deteriorating situation against GLBT people there. Months later, the momentum against them has stalled, but only time will tell regarding the longevity of such a lull. However, virulent hatred continues unabated in Africa, this time in Malawi, a former British protectorate in the southeastern region of the continent. Like many other Commonwealth nations in Africa, Malawi still has laws in place against GLBT citizens via colonial "unnatural offenses" laws, which are commonly referred to as the "buggery acts." People convicted of either "unnatural offenses" or "public indecency," two ways to skirt around the issue of same-sex relations such as sodomy without directly stating the words, can be punished up to 14 years in prison. While not as strong as the capital punishment sentence Ugandans hope to pass onto homosexuals, it is, in essence, a death by stigma; Malawi's culture is very unrelenting toward homosexuality and a long prison sentence could spell death at the hands of either the jailers or the prison population. In December, Steven Monjeza, 26, and Tiwonge Chimbalanga, 20, celebrated their engagement at a party in the country's administrative capital and second-largest city, Blantyre. They were arrested and have since been in police custody. Their trial was a public spectacle, coaxing out thousands of angry townspeople from the woodwork to heckle and scream at the men. Public interest was so high that the court accommodated many more seats than usual to view this specific trial.

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Tiwonge Chimbalanga, suffering from mistreatment in prison, brought an early end to one of the days' arguments by collapsing and vomiting in the court, all the while being jeered and ridiculed by the public gallery. He was then told to sweep up his own vomit, a chore reserved for women in Malawi; the cultural shame is great when a man is ordered to perform that task. He cleaned up his mess to cheers of "Auntie Tiwo is pregnant," "Auntie" serving as an emasculating slur against homosexual men. The two men recently lost their case and their appeal was subsequently denied. In January, a 21-year-old man named Peter Sawali was arrested for distributing posters in Blantyre reading "Gay Rights are Human Rights," on a backdrop of the Malawian flag and a photo of the aforementioned couple. Originally charged with a misdemeanor, which could bring jail time up to three months, he was later sentenced to cleaning duties in the country's biggest courthouse for 60 days. The chilling thread in common between Uganda and Malawi is that these countries, who are so heavily dependent on aid from the Western world, simply don't care about burning ties or cutting off aid to their people; to them, this issue is somehow more important. Malawi's Information Minister, Leckford Mwanza Thoto, commented on the issue to the media, saying, "We depend on our Western friends, yes, but we are a sovereign country." If the West plays hardball with Malawi, who wins; and most importantly, is it an issue that President Obama is willing to truly care about? All that can be said is that the picture painted right now looks very, very bleak.


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There’s no question that American Idol without Simon Cowell would be like The Cosby Show without Bill Cosby. Entertainment pundits have long speculated that Cowell would be exiting America’s toprated show after the abrupt departure of show favorite Paula Abdul and the addition of high-profile judge Ellen DeGeneres. It appeared that the stage was being set for some type of transition, and last month, the feisty judge confirmed that this current season of Idol would be his last, as he plans to bring his very successful British talent show, The X Factor, to American audiences. So what exactly is The X Factor? The X Factor is currently shown in 17 countries and is the show that led to Pop Idol’s (which American Idol derived from) demise. It is executive produced by Simon Cowell and has been the red-hot show overseas, responsible for launching the career of Leona Lewis. While some of the show elements of Idol are the same, differences in programs include singers being mentored by judges, a “boot camp” round and groups along with soloists being allowed to compete. So what does this mean for American Idol? With Simon Cowell gone, the entertainment industry has been buzzing with who will replace the Idol’s $100 million-per-paycheck star. Everyone from talk show host Conan O’Brien to shock jock Howard Stern to music mogul Guy Oseary have been rumored to replace Cowell. While Fox has mentioned OMG 24

that both American Idol and The X Factor can and will exist on their network, others are predicting the demise of American Idol just as what happened when Simon left the UK’s Pop Idol.

Will The X Factor be a hit in the U.S.? The answer to that question remains to be unseen, but all signs point to yes. First and foremost, interest will be at an all-time high with viewers tuning in to the show that triggered Cowell to jump ship from America’s long-running #1 franchise. The X Factor in the UK brings in the crème de la crème of today’s artists, from Lady Gaga to Beyoncé, and would surely do the same on American shores. With rumors swirling that Paula Abdul will be one of the show’s four judges, those who long for Idol nostalgia and a reunion of the famous bickering duo will be in television ecstasy. For now, the last Simon Cowell season of American Idol with new judge Ellen DeGeneres is airing on Fox. Check your local listings.


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hile the Summer Olympics have gymnasts (oh my God, their arms) and scantily-clad runners, the Winter Olympics have flair. The Winter Olympics have figure skating—and figure skating is the most theatrical sport on the planet. To be precise, figure skating is awesome. In 1992, I spent an entire week sitting on the floor in front of my parents’ TV watching the Winter Olympics. I was 12 years old, and I loved figure skater Paul Wylie. My newfound hormones left me in a weepy, ridiculously flushed state every time he skated. Seriously, when he skated to a song from Jesus Christ Superstar, I nearly exploded into a ball of dorky fangirlish love. When I got a little older, it occurred to me how much Paul Wylie and my other male figure skater crushes differed from the über-masculine crushes my friends had. I didn’t care. I liked my fantasy men limber and delicate.

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Four years ago, Johnny Weir re-ignited my boner for figure skaters, and unlike any figure skater I’d seen before, he wore his sexuality with pride and exuberance. While not the very best skater, he had the most personality. He made daring choices on the ice and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind outside the rink. I wanted to be him. I wanted to be his boyfriend. I wanted to soar and spin and possibly spank him cause seriously, his ass. It’s the real deal. This year, while indulging in my inner gay man’s love for male figure skaters, I’ll have my eye on Johnny Weir again. Now in his early 20’s, he brings a cocksure attitude to the ice. Plus he recently did an exhibition skate to Lady Gaga’s "Poker Face." Olympics plus Lady Gaga is pretty much porn made just for me. Which leads me to think that I might be completely crazy. After all, I’m a wom

an married to a dude. I have a couple of kids. My sex life is more or less run of the mill. So why am I so aroused by men like Johnny Weir—more specifically men like Johnny Weir having crazy monkey sex with other men? We may never know. I’m okay with my fetish. Luckily, figure skating is also well-loved by middle-aged women and wholesome folks so I can get away with knowing way too much about triple axels and Scott Hamilton without exposing my true and dirty intentions. Here’s my question: When it comes to the Olympics, will you be watching with pride for your home country and love for the Olympians of the world, or will you have a little something else in mind when your favorite athlete goes for the gold?


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ld Florida meets the 21st century at the Southern Exposure Music and Heritage Festival. The day-long event will bring attendees back to a time when Florida was a bit more tied to Dixie than to New York. The event starts at 11:30 a.m. on March 14 at Alpine Groves Park, 2060 State Road 13 in Switzerland. Proceeds go to the Stetson Kennedy Foundation; its namesake, Stetson Kennedy, a pioneering civil rights crusader, will be on hand as keynote speaker. To understand how the Stetson Kennedy Foundation will help people with your contribution, one must understand the life’s work of Mr. Kennedy himself. Born in 1916, he started collecting materials relating to white and black folklore in Florida in his teens. At the age of 21, he joined the Florida Writers’ Project, a subgroup of the Works Progress Administration (WPA), and was put in charge of cataloguing and maintaining the folklore section of Florida’s written history as well as transcribing oral history. He was introduced to the civil rights struggle while working with the author Zora Neale Hurston, who worked for him at the WPA. After a year or so of working together, they found it necessary to work separately, as the segregation laws in Florida at the time made it so risky for the duo that it risked both of their lives. Kennedy would not forget the injustice, and after writing a well-received book on Florida’s folk life, called Palmetto Country, he took a job in Atlanta for the Congress of Industrial Organizations (CIO), outlining political and social inequities between whites and blacks in the South. In 1946 he wrote his first exposé of the extent racist discrimination enveloped the South, called Southern Exposure.

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He continued his work in publishing and also infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan in the hopes of stunting growth in the organization, which worked after he released top-secret information which was broadcast across the country via the Superman radio program, in a story arc where the superhero took on the group singlehanded. Kennedy carved a niche for himself in Southern segregationist history and became revered in many circles, so much so that he ran for Governor of Florida in 1952 against Dan McCarty. However, he earned as many detractors as supporters, and after a highly-publicized firebombing of his house, he moved to France to publish one of his final exposés, a much more detailed look into the KKK called The Klan Unmasked. Published in 1954 with the help of philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, the book was not allowed to be sold in many parts of the United States for quite some time. The Stetson Kennedy Foundation continues to work to right social injustices among every segment of Florida’s population, and hopes to make Florida a place where all of us, no matter race, creed, religion, or sexual orientation, can be equals in society and under the law. Helping Kennedy raise money this year for the cause are Arlo Guthrie, whose famous folk singer father Woody was a personal friend and ally of Kennedy’s, and Grammy Award-winner Ramblin’ Jack Elliot, who was Woody Guthrie’s protégé. If you are interested in helping the Stetson Kennedy Foundation make Florida a safe place for all, and if you’d like to take a step back in time to discover Florida’s folksy roots, you can be at Alpine Groves Park in Switzerland for the festival. Tickets are $15, while children under 12 get in free.


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No matter where I go these days, everyone is talking about the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo. As I am typing this, the second episode has just aired. My take on it so far? Well, it's okay. One of my biggest problems with the perception of drag queens is theÂŹ catty, bitchy attitude that the mainstream world seems to think we have. Unfortunately, this show is not really doing anything to fight this stereotype. I realize this is a reality show and they are looking for drama, but some of the things that are coming out of these girls' mouths are making me scratch my head. You would think that some of them are working side-by-side with Madonna or Lady Gaga. I have always lived my life with the thought that humility will take me far. If they look back at last season they will realize that the catty girls were not the final two standing. I have met Bebe and Nina from season one at various events, and can honestly say that they were as nice and accommodating as they were on the show. If you truly are a "diva," the world will know; you don't have to tell them! Now on to some local drag news! Last week I had the chance to perform at Dunedin Lanes for their monthly Gay Bowling Night. It was an absolute blast and the show also included the very professional Melanie Minyon. The reigning Miss Florida USofA, Amy Demilo, even came out to bowl a few frames.

Gay Bowling Night is the first Thursday of every month; make sure you come check it out. There is nothing like seeing a couple queens doing a show on Lanes 7 through 16. In other drag happenings, Hamburger Mary's Tampa has started their Drag Bingo nights. Every Wednesday, Joey Brooks and Amy Demilo will take turns calling games. Each week bingo will be played to benefit different local charities; the first week benefited the Museum of Science and Industry. Come out for a great meal, great prizes and a whole lot of fun! Speaking of new and fun, I had the chance to hang out at the new club Manilow's in Holiday. It is one of the few clubs around that has multiple show nights. You can catch their regular shows Thursday, Friday and Saturday along with their Talent Night on Sunday. Any talent is welcomed and as a lot of you know, some of the bad talents are more entertaining than the good ones! Last but not least, I want to send a big congrats to Alexis Mateo, the newly crowned Miss Mardi Gras! Blur in Dunedin hosted the annual contest with Natasha Richards and Melanie Minyon at the mic. First runner-up was Robyn Demornay, second runner-up was Faith Taylor, and third runner-up was Crystle Chambers. The show was great and Miss Alexis knows how to put a talent number together! Until next time! -

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Jocelyn


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Movie Review: Valentine’s Day

With such an astoundingly clever title like Valentine’s Day, you’d think the film would be anything but misleading. And truthfully, it isn’t. It’s everything you want in a romantic comedy – cute, fun, almost tear-inducing, and full of slapstick, laugh-out-loud moments. Still, this heart-shaped box of a movie shouldn’t sit well with gay men once they realize New Line Cinema didn’t really want their money. We’ll get to that in a moment. Directed by Garry Marshall, Julia Roberts’ old school BFF, Valentine’s Day invites us to spend two hours with our favorite overexposed Hollywood stars. What ensues is the predictable interweaving of subplots involving an attractive group of Los Angelenos as they discover the pitfalls of romance over the course of one day. Unless you’re still living deep in a closet somewhere, you’ve no doubt seen the trailer getting serious commercial airplay. It’s everywhere. And it’s quietly, yet purposely, deceptive. Question is, did you even realize it? One of the movie’s major love arcs involves (gasp!) a gay couple. In the film, Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) plays boyfriend to closeted football player Eric Dane (“McSteamy” from Grey’s Anatomy). Hot! Right? Well, not exactly. It’s painfully obvious that those in charge of marketing the film decided it was in everyone’s best interest to promotionally erase Eric Dane – less gay, more Hollywood cliché. I’m calling it the queer invisibility factor (QIF – insert your own age appropriate joke). Instead of hyping a cute, homosexual relationship featuring two of Hollywood’s hottest leading men, the studio buries it six feet under. What we get in return are misleading images of Julia Roberts and Bradley Cooper on a plane flirting obnoxiously with each other. It’s nothing more than a substitute straight relationship aimed at their hetero female movie-going audience. God forbid they disenfranchise that crowd.

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C’mon now! Give us a little something. Did you not see Brokeback Mountain? If gay men had known about this yummy plot twist from the beginning, we all would have dragged our boyfriends out on opening night to see this flick, hands-down. Super cute date night. I guess I should brace myself for the backlash. Most of you will say, “Dang! It’s just a movie.” And maybe you’re right. But when you step back and examine its ramifications, however miniscule, it’s another tactic of mainstream society not taking the gay community seriously. Despite the commercial “de-gaying,” it’s a charming film. Jessica Biel is hilarious. Ashton Kutcher is still annoying. So, take your man, forget you read this, act surprised when you discover Bradley Cooper is a big ol’ homo and devour the eye candy. There’s certainly a lot of it. Or… stay home with your 14 cats, curse Singles Awareness Day (SAD) and watch Steel Magnolias while you recite all the lines like you did last year. I won’t judge you. Either way, this movie will help you relive Valentine’s Day! Hope you had a good one!


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written by Cory Jeffries We all live in the fast paced world of rush, rush, rush. “Go to work, the gym, the store, walk the dog, mow the lawn, gas up the car...” We all have somewhere to go, something to do that takes precedence in our lives; all of this can lead to stress. In this issue of “Mind, Body and Spirit,” I offer a few simple tips to help you dial down the stress in the new year. These tips are so simple that we may overlook them without even being aware of the positive outcome of implementing them in our daily lives.

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Become more self-aware Somehow we make life complicated, but it’s simple. How do you feel right now? When faced with a choice, pay attention to yourself and notice your body’s signals of comfort and discomfort. Discover how to live with integrity. Say “no” to things, people, and events that are stressful. There is no need to manipulate yourself into being stressed out! A simple question you can ask yourself is: “Is it a yum (something that you enjoying doing) or a yuck (something you may do out of obligation) for me?” Move toward the “yums” and away from the “yucks.”

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Surround yourself in silence

Pay attention to the people, noise, and smells you have in your environment. Simple changes you can make will create a more pleasing space. Take time for silence, turn off the TV, take the earphones out and occasionally let the phone go to voice mail, so you can finish a task. Most importantly, for a few minutes every day, move away from the electronic world and give yourself time out in nature. Believe it or not, disconnecting from the world of “rush, rush, rush” can help you to become more connected to yourself and your world.


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Accentuate the positive Whichever thing you choose to invest in will grow with time. What do you spend time thinking about or complaining about? Over time, our behaviors create a habit of mind, so when you remember to focus on what you like and what makes you feel good, you’ll increase your experience of pleasure. It’s not just positive thinking; it’s about putting your attention on the here and now and what you like about it.

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Adjust your sleeping and eating patterns

Learn to meditate

Do you eat while you are standing up or on the phone, or late at night when you could be sleeping? Do you look down and your food is gone, but you don’t remember eating it? When you follow the natural rhythms of nature, take meals when digestion is strongest and eat with full awareness, you’ll eat less and digest better. As a boy my grandfather used to say, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” Of course as a child I never quite grasped that concept, but now, much wiser and older, I get it. One way the mind and body rejuvenates itself is through sleep. Change your priorities and accept the fact that it should be a priority to get to bed early to let your body’s rejuvenation system do its job.

Yes, you can do it. No, you don’t have to join a cult or change your religion. Meditation is easy if you are taught right. Instead of trying too hard, you can learn how a relaxing, silent meditation will help you achieve the deep rest that sleep can. A simple silent meditation practice can change your whole day. Researchers proved meditation improves sleep patterns, even when you do it in the morning. Once thought of as an esoteric or religious pursuit, meditation is going mainstream. A government survey in 2007 found that about 1 out of 11 Americans, or more than 20 million people, meditated in the past year, and a growing number of medical centers are teaching meditation to patients for the management of stress. As we become more attached to laptops, iPhones, BlackBerries and other digital devices, we have a greater need to unplug and to tap into our inner silence. Meditation is the perfect antidote to stress. Research shows that it lowers blood pressure, increases blood flow and decreases heart rate. It also decreases our stress hormone, reduces insomnia and can increase your longevity.

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Hey all!

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he Parliament House will present its 34th annual Miss Parliament House pageant on Monday, March 22, 2010 in the beautiful Footlight Theatre. On hand will be the reigning Miss Parliament House 2009, Dorae Saunders of South Carolina; Josephine Andrews, reigning Miss Gay Orlando; Daphne Ferraro, Former Miss Parliament House; and Makaylah Sanchez, reigning Miss Central Florida Newcomer. With a rich tradition of excellence, many top entertainers have represented this prestigious and historic title, like Lori DeMars. Lakisha Lucky, Bobby Lakes, Amber Mills, Carmella Garcia, Antwonette Chanel Roberts, Shae Shae LaReese, Stephanie Shippae, and CoCo Montrese, to name a few. This event is scheduled to start at 9 p.m.; guaranteed reserved seating can be purchased at the box office through www. wanzie.com. Yes, there will be seats available should you wish not to make a reservation, however if this pageant proves to be anything like last year's, its gonna be a bloodbath and will be sold out. Other pageants scheduled in the City Beautiful are Miss Revolutions at Revolutions Night Club, Sunday, Feb 28; Miss Glamorous at Pulse Nightclub, Sunday, March 28; Miss and Mr. Metropolitan Continental at Parliament House Resort, Monday, April 26, 9 p.m.; The Closet Ball II at Parliament House Resort, Monday, May 24; and Miss Florida America 2010, date and location TBA. Look for pageant pictures in the next issue. Have you been watching RuPaul’s Drag Race? Fresh from the show, Nicole Paige Brooks will guest star with the Footlight Players on Sunday Feb 21st. I can’t wait to get some gossip about the girls or drag the name of the winner out of her. If I find out anything, I’ll keep you posted, but I feel it won’t be easy because she is under a strict gag order and to spill the beans would result in a possible lawsuit. Hum, with the help of my trusted, tasty sidekick, Grey Goose and Cranberry, we’ll see if I can pry out some info for my OMG! readers. Wish me luck!

can be and make Orlando proud! Tyra is the gorgeous product of Angelica Sanchez and part of the famed Sanchez family led by its matriarch, Stasha Sanchez, Miss Gay USA 2010. Stasha and Tyra will join the Parliament House Footlight Players cast for one night only, Sunday, February 28 for three shows: 7 p.m., 10 p.m. and midnight. It’s sure to be an evening of great entertainment! For free Footlight Theatre seating reservations, call (407) 425-7571 the day of the event. You can reach Tyra Sanchez and Stasha Sanchez on facebook.com under their names. Update: Sierrah Foxx is progressing very well and should be discharged by month’s end. She thanks her loving friends and adoring fans for their constant prayers and positive energy. Once settled at home, you can contact her on facebook.com under Sierrah Fox. I’ll keep you posted. Finally, please give V, Sassy Devine, Armani, and I $1.00! We’ve entered the cooperate division of the annual AIDS Walk Orlando and we want to be the AIDS Walk’s top fund raisers. HELP! GIVE A BITCH A DOLLAR and we’ll sign our limited edition Real Housewives of Orange County, Orlando, FL post card. From a few of our friends, and you know who you are, we are expecting no less than $20. I won’t name names so here are their initials: OMG, DG, CM, MA, KC, GB, JB, SU, JB, KD, DT, CC, DP, DP, DC, DM, SM, BG, JD, BB and GH. If we haven’t reached our goal by April 3rd, we’ll be on OBT and Central working the oldest profession (hint: we won’t be building houses, lol). We love you guys… Got to run; remember, laughter is food for the soul!

Ms. Darcel Stevens

All kidding aside, I’m so proud of all the girls, especially Orlando’s Tyra Sanchez. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know she’s a bit of a bitch on TV, but trust me, if the girls were all smiles and kisses, you’d quickly turn the channel. BORING! Why do you think Jersey Shore and Real Housewives of Atlanta have such high ratings? DRAMA and SEX = high ratings = $$, for God’s sake; it’s the American way. (AMEN!) So Tyra, you continue to be that tall, beautiful, prima donna, ass-kicking bitch that I know you

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N ow, when someone says “gay Australia”, you think “Sydney”, right? Understandably so, as it is home of such attractions as Mardi Gras (coming up in March!), the Opera House (cliché), the Sydney Harbour (passé) and the Harbour Bridge (um, reggae?). But if you want the real Sydney, here’s the scoop. First, check in. This writer loves The Establishment, a boutique hotel in the CBD. All the rooms are decorated differently; there’s Bulgari toiletries (which I stole every day) and really good air-conditioning. What can I say; it gets hot here! The hotel has several bars and cocktail lounges, and one of the city’s best restaurants, est., is just upstairs. Rounding est. out is Australia’s top sushi restaurant, sushie, situated alongside the best cocktail lounge, Hemmesphere; how many bars claim their own range of popular CDs? If you’re not in the mood

for luxury hotels (or luxury prices), try staying closer to Sydney’s GLBT district, Darlinghurst. Try the very gay-friendly Wattle Hotel, close to all the action for when you’re partied out. Well-serviced for public transport, the affordable hotel has a laundry valet, a rooftop BBQ and internet access in rooms, so your facebook won’t feel neglected. It’s right in the centre of Oxford Street, the gayest street in Australia, so you can easily stagger home. Did I mention being partied out? Because you will be. Oxford Street is jam-packed with clubs, pubs and restaurants. Locations range from famous, like ARQ, a big gay club with outdoor raves known as “doof doof”, to the unique; Slide Bar serves ‘sensual foods’, like tempura soft-shell crab with pumpkin arancini and teriyaki web, accompanied by burlesque acts. You can visit Stonewall for your straight-up Kylie/Beyoncé/drag/fag entertain-

ment, The Oxford Hotel for ruff and gruff bears, and leather boys will like The Midnight Shift. When I’m exhausted the morning after, I wander down to a cafe, get a double-shot skinny flat white cappuccino, something greasy to eat, and watch people go by. Now, yours truly loves food. Loves it! In this regard, Sydney does not disappoint. Nine of Gourmet Traveller’s Top 10 restaurants are located in Sydney, and the Los Angeles Times named Sydney the world’s best food city. Several restaurants are world famous, like Rockpool and Tetsuya’s. Asian food of every stripe abounds in Sydney. Chinatown serves the Aussie favourite, Thai, as well as Malaysian, Japanese, Vietnamese and Chinese cuisines. Check out the busy Spice I Am for brilliant Thai, slick Turkish at Ottoman Cuisine, or indulge in the outdoor dining habit of Australia and have a tasting platter from Universal. Unless, of course, palmsugar popcorn with citrus-

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-cured prawns and green chilli salsa, or ginger tapioca cream with star anise, pineapple and caramel ice-cream aren’t to your taste. Tell Melbournites that Sydney is the food city and they’ll scoff at you. One of the best places in Australia to get a coffee, Melbourne is where good casual dining, sophisticated art, and schizophrenic weather meet. Crown Casino is the place to stay in Melbourne, with comfortable rooms and views over the city. It’s a short trip to the Melbourne Aquarium, the Victorian Arts Centre and the National Gallery of Victoria. Why not go shopping at Kaye Sera’s Bizzarre, a funky antiques and craft shop run by an out-of-frock drag queen. Also currently serving as a free community centre and performance space, by the time of Midsumma it will be hosting piano performances and cabaret. Oh, what’s Midsumma? That would be Melbourne’s

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annual Queer culture festival, featuring plays, live music, art installations, parties, debates and film; there’s such a huge range of activities going on. If music is your style, Melbourne’s got you covered with their annual jazz festival, the Fringe festival, the Big Day Out music festival and many smaller events around the city, especially for the thriving hip-hop scene. Melbourne also holds international festivals galore. There’s an art festival, a film festival, an animation festival, a flower festival and the highly popular comedy festival. The comedy fest attracts comedians like Ross Noble and Paul McDermott. Each year has a televised ‘Great Debate’ where two teams battle it out for silly supremacy while covering some very big topics . Wandering around the city, you can catch an arthouse movie at Cinema Nova, listen to the Gay and Lesbian Chorus practicing, or just

rants serving cheap gourmet food. Having a major Greek community means you can expect lots of tabouli, souvlaki and delicious baklava, and this can only be a good thing, right? But, a word to the wise about Melbourne... No one in the city appears to have sex. It took us two and a half hours to find anywhere that stocked a decent range of condoms, lube or toys, so bring your own or find a well prepared local. Brisbane, my city, is called “a big country town” by the bigger cities, “beautiful one day [and] perfect the next” by our tourism department, and “BrisVegas” by the locals. Situated around a river of the same name, Brisbane has Aussie hospitality in spades. No, really, come visit and I’ll show you around! Stay in the Stamford Plaza for simple, luxurious accomodation overlooking the river, or stay at The Palace Backpackers, right in the CBD and cheap as chips. If you’re hungry for Aus-


sie flavours, why not head to Tukka where you can get kangaroo steak (it’s delicious, seriously) and local flavours like lemon myrtle and bush tomato. You’ll also have to head to Gambaro’s Seafood to try some of Australia’s world class oceanlife, particularly Moreton Bay Bugs, a unique crustacean which tastes like a sweeter lobster. If you don’t like seafood, visit Cha Cha Char for local Wague steaks done perfectly. The South Bank entertainment precinct, which houses a botanical garden, park, market and cosmopolitan shopping centre, has my favourite restaurant, Timmys. Overlooking a lilypond, Timmys serves French Thai food like slow braised duck shank on wombok with ginger jus. The chef is friendly and the staff are brilliant. Southbank’s also a great place to grab a barbie next to the artificial beach, get a tan like a local and try the good Aussie barbecue...prawns are entirely optional, tomato sauce is mandatory. If you want to check out Brisbane’s scene, go out on a Saturday or Sunday to

Fortitude Valley. A smaller scene than the other states, The Beat serves as a megaclub, playing lots of different music to a younger crowd. The Wickham Hotel offers a more relaxed vibe for a more diverse group of people. Situated in nearby Spring Hill, The Sportsman Hotel is more of a pub than a club, with a friendly group of people always ready for a game of pool and a beer...but beware of bears downstairs in the Mineshaft Bar, unless that’s your bag, baby. Beaches: that’s what Australia’s good for, right? Well, the Gold Coast has one of the most famous beaches in the world, Surfers Paradise. Cerulean waves, golden sand, other coloured bathing suits and lifeguards in red and yellow Speedos...sorry, must’ve got distracted! If you want to have a bit more SuperGay in your holiday, you can stay at Pallazo Versace. Yes, that Versace. Rooms are baroquely decorated, there’s a pillow menu, four restaurants within the complex (one insanely good Italian place, Vanitas, serves

Versace plates from $400+), and a very relaxing garden bar by the pool. Visit Mount Tamborine’s many wineries and the distillery-making of custom spirits, courtesy of a mad old dude. Visit the Casino, Q1 (the Southern Hemisphere’s tallest tower - think the developer is compensating for something?) or the theme parks. The parks have something for everyone: Dreamworld for rides, Seaworld for aquatic life (dolphin shows!), Movieworld, where the Ethan Hawke film Daybreakers was recently filmed, for movies, or Wet’n’Wild to cool down. You might be even be around for the Magic Millions horse race. You can gamble, people-watch, or check out some fine stallions. Oh, apparently horses are involved, too. That’s really just scratching the surface of what’s available in Australia. We’ve got beach towns, lush rainforest, beautiful coral reefs and the friendliest people you’ll ever meet. Give it a go and I promise your visit won’t disappoint you!

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Getting to the bottom of it all… Recent research has given doctors yet another reason to have you drop your pants in the office. While it may be your dedication to the StairMaster and the resulting buns of steel that interest others, health care providers believe it’s what’s on the inside that really counts – literally.

Unlike other sexually transmitted infections, condoms are not very effective in preventing HPV infection. Direct skin-toskin contact with bodily fluids is enough to transmit infection, especially with the skin and mucosal breakdown related to friction during sex.

If you’ve ever been on the ‘receiving end’ of your relationship, you may be unaware of some long-term health risks. This column is dedicated to keeping all you bottoms on top of your health.

For years, women have had the benefit of annual screening with Pap smears to detect early changes at the cervix and receive intervention in an effort to prevent cervical cancer. Recent research has shown that the same screening techniques have been useful for screening men. The anal Pap is a test similar to the Pap test performed on women, only men don’t have the added benefit of stirrups, a vaginal speculum and multiple medical paraphernalia invading their ‘personal space’. For men, a sample of cells is collected by inserting a cotton swab into the anus and rectum. The sample contains cells that line the anus and are then examined under the microscope to identify any structural changes that suggest HPV infection. These changes are precursors to anal cancer.

There is a disproportionate prevalence of anal cancer in gay men, and it’s on the rise. Recent data indicates that approximately 35 out of every 100,000 men who have sex with men will develop anal cancer at some point in their lives. That may sound like an unfortunate few, but these numbers are probably under-reported. One study of over 600 GLBT individuals found that only 18-24% of people disclosed their sexual orientation to their physicians. Thus, the incidence may actually be higher than previously thought. Anal cancer in men and cervical cancer in women are both thought to be linked to the Human Papillomavirus (HPV). HPV, the same virus that causes genital warts is common, especially in bisexual and gay men. Women also have a high incidence of HPV, passed to them through unprotected vaginal intercourse with HPV-infected men. The belief is that it is this prevalence that has caused the rise in anal cancer. Gay and bisexual men with HIV are especially at risk because they are at higher risk for persistent HPV infection.

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It is important to remember that anal warts are not necessarily present in all people affected by the changes caused by HPV. The strains of HPV responsible for anal cancer are usually different than those that typically cause genital/anal warts.Studies are currently underway to establish the effectiveness of the popular vaccine Gardasil in men (as mentioned in the holiday issue of OMG!). Researchers expect that the same protection offered to women for preventing cervical cancer can be extended to men in preventing anal cancer.

I’ll keep the OMG! readers posted on the progress of these studies and recommendations as they develop. My advice: be smart, and take it like a man at your doctor’s office. Be smart and get the appropriate ‘ass-ay’ to keep yourself healthy. The developing recommendations are that men who have sex with men be tested once every three years, provided the first screening does not suggest any pre-malignant changes. Your individual plan will vary based on your results. Treatments do exist for any changes your doctor may discover, and you should discuss these options with your provider. It may seem like a pain in the rear, but my hope is that you’ll eventually come out on top!



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In honor of the fresh an new season of RuPaul’s Drag Ra d fabulous ce on Logo, MyFlexRadio.c primer on “Bitc om provides you with a hy Queens Who Can Sing”! In the beginnin g there was Ru ... Well, actually, be when RuPaul to fore the early ‘90s ok the universe runway by stor m with “Superm and odel”, there were som e picked up a mic drag pioneers who .D had wonderful ivine and Sylvester careers floor, stage and on the dance screen. All in al through the de l, cades it’s alway s been about street hu mor, provocativ e lyrics and tons of attit ude.

h Tracks. p Ten Bitc o s T ’s m o .c lin Fuente FlexRadio s” - Frank ll a C a n Here’s My n / “If Mado glasses)” et Pussy Pauline n u (S e M e e 1) “Excus Head Helen” - Sw l es fu 2) “Hate ista” - Jimmy Jam - RuPaul n io ir h G s over l” 3) “Fa odel” / “C rm e p u 4) “S e n T. in Avianc oor” - Ala 5) “ The D / “Give It Up” - Kev ” 6) “Cunty ina Flowers -N ” a c Queen 7) “Lo - Bodega ny Lamont ” d te s u o 8) “B iance Ass” - Anth on” - Uncanny All Is is h T “ ) ti 9 My Educa Check out MyFlexRadio.com for all these tracks as well as 10) “I Got the hottest in current GLBT dance music. Listen on your smart devices , iPhone, or iPod Touch. Get the info at MyFlexRadio.com Click the tab called “smart devices”. Follow us: facebook.com/myflexradio twitter.com/myflexradio

Dance-House-Circuit-Tribal-Chill and more. YOUR MUSIC. DJ JOANIE



Johan Bos

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Tracy Young is a celebrity DJ who has collaborated on numerous club hits with the likes of Madonna, Paris Hilton, and most recently, the Kardashians. She has also spun events for Lenny Kravitz, The Smashing Pumpkins, Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, Russell Simmons, Cher, and even Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s wedding reception in Scotland. “Tardy for the Party was made for the dance floor,” says Tracy Young. “It needed some retooling to fit in with the progressive sound that is popular in today’s clubs, but I knew at first listen that we had a club sensation on our hands.” “Kim and I connected instantly and you can hear the mutual respect in the resulting remixes. We have tracks that will burn up dance floors through the winter and far into spring and summer.” The collaboration proved so successful, the two ladies are currently in the studio finishing a brand new single they hint will be another upbeat, catchy, fun dance track. “More to come on the next party record soon!” promises Young. For more info on Tardy for the Party remixes, visit www.kimzolciak.com and www.tracyyoung.com.

Tracy Young will be performing for the Winter Party at Club Space w/ Boris on Sunday March 7th at 9pm

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"Music has always been my passion in life," says Kim Zolciak of Bravo TV's The Real Housewives of Atlanta. “My daughter Brielle and her vocal coach Ed Davidson came up with the idea for Tardy for the Party. I thought it was incredibly catchy so I gave the song to Kandi who rewrote it into a hit.” Kim Zolciak is one of the housewives on Bravo TV’s docu-drama series The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The seven-episode series follows five women from Atlanta’s social elite as they cope with their busy home lives and promising careers. The glamorous southern belles show that life in their turf is no easy feat, since they have to prove that they are not just housewives, but ambitious and classy entrepreneurs as well. The series expands the success brought about by its predecessors, the famed The Real Housewives of Orange County and The Real Housewives of New York. Zolciak released Tardy for the Party to radio at the end of 2009. It was such a smash hit that she is now releasing brand new club remixes by celebrity DJ Tracy Young. “After Tardy for the Party became so popular, a friend suggested I do a club remix,” explains Zolciak. “He connected me to Tracy Young and after our first meeting in Los Angeles, I knew we would make a great team. It was such an honor to me that she wanted to remix the song.”


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he seventeenth annual Miami Winter Party will be held from March 3 to March 8, with most of the week's events staying on the tried-and-true South Beach. What has started out as a one-time event to help the GLBT population in Miami-Dade County has since blossomed into one of the three most important events on South Florida's circuit calendar, and this year promises to be the best one ever. "Trust me when I say that 2010 will be a landmark year for the Winter Party Festival," said Victor Diaz-Herman, ViceChair of the Miami Winter Party, in an exclusive to OMG! "We’re raising the bar higher than before and we’re geared up to deliver an unforgettable experience." The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, the oldest GLBT rights organization in the United States, has helped put on the various events for the Winter Party week since 2005 and collects the revenue from the event. The Task Force takes a third for itself, giving the other two-thirds back to the Dade Community Foundation, which decides how the money will be split up to various groups in south Florida's GLBT community. "I’m also the Chairman of the Board for Pridelines Youth Services, an organization that provides safe spaces, counseling and other social services for GLBT youth throughout South Florida," Diaz-Herman said to OMG! "We are only one (1) of fourteen (14) organizations who benefit from [the Dade Community Foundation's] charity. It makes me proud to be a part of an event that supports our local community!" Before the Task Force and before the week of parties in the sun, there was an idea. In 1993, the plans of what would become Winter Party were first discussed, originally as a one-off event which would promote volunteer organizations across south Florida. The first Winter Party occurred in 1994 as a one-day event and raised $50,000. Surprised

by the success of the event, and emboldened by other grassroots efforts such as the White Party, the organizers planned celebrations larger and larger with each passing year, finally reaching its current size with the tenth annual party in 2003. By then the event was bringing in an estimated $200,000 for various volunteer-driven organizations, overseen by the Gay Foundation of South Florida. There was a brief scare in 2004 when the Gay Foundation closed unexpectedly, putting the future of the Winter Party in jeopardy, but the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force saved the day on South Beach, taking on the ownership role for future parties and keeping the philanthropic dreams of the original organizers alive. So what's on the plate for this year? Victor Diaz-Herman beamed with pride when he told OMG! what there is to offer this year, improving on previous years. "In my opinion, each year is better than the last because the organization makes it a point to learn from its previous year's mistakes, to develop on its strengths, and to create a 'Wow' factor for each event. This year we’re adding an exclusive Cabana Club at our Beach Party and an amazing VIP area at our Pool Party. Plus we’re bringing in amazing talent, from world renowned DJ’s like the Brazilian bombshell Ana Paula to international event producers and promoters like Logan Presents," Diaz-Herman said. "This Festival is going to leave each guest craving our 2011 Festival before our 2010 Festival is even over." Want a run-down of this year's events? Here are official Winter Party-sanctioned activities, because you deserve the scoop: * The host hotel for the Winter Party is the Doubletree Surfcomber Hotel on 1717 Collins Avenue. Don't count on vacancies; unless something drastically changes, you


won't be getting a room. When we went to press, the Surfcomber was at maximum occupancy. * Get to know everyone at Departure Lounge, Winter Party's introductory mixer, starting at 7 p.m. on March 3 at the Surfcomber. The Rainbow Circus, the all-GLBT adult and youth circus, will be on hand to give a special performance. The After Party starts at 10 p.m. at Bar 721 on 721 N. Lincoln Lane. * It's all about Showtime on March 4. The movie network is a partner of the entire week, and will be hosting an eco-friendly art exhibit, with The L Word actress Pam Grier as keynote speaker. You can catch that event at 7 p.m. at Dot Fifty-one, 51 NE 36th Street. DJ Roland Belmares spins the tracks at the Rip Current night party at Score, 727 Lincoln Road, starting at 10 p.m. Come early for a party promoting Showtime's series Nurse Jackie. * The shopping event Passport to Lincoln Road is a big draw on March 5. Starting with a Happy Hour at 5 p.m. at MOVA, 1625 Michigan Avenue, participants will later get their passports stamped at Lincoln Road Mall on the beach, finally ending at the hair and skincare store Kiehl's Since 1851, on 832 Lincoln Road. If that isn't your speed, the Miami Beach Community Church is hosting an interfaith dialogue on how GLBT populations can deal with religious extremists, with Marc Adams presiding. At 10 p.m. there will be two dance parties; The Copa, Casanova Restaurant and Lounge, 524 Ocean Drive, which is geared toward women and Latin music lovers (DJs Dezrock and Citizen Jane will be choosing the songs that night); and Rising Tide, with acclaimed DJs Rosabel (Ralphi Rosario and Abel) picking the best beats at Dolce, 1500 Ocean Drive.

* Waste the day away on March 6 by the pool. The Nadadores of South Florida host the The Fourth Annual John O'Keefe Spring Splash at the Miami Shores Aquatic Center starting at 9 a.m. The Perry Twins have been flown in from Los Angeles to DJ the Under One Sun Pool Party starting at noon at the Surfcomber. DJ Saratonin hosts the women's dance party Industry (China Grill, 404 Washington Avenue) at 10 p.m., while the men's party, Elevation (Parkwest, 30 NE 11th Street), will be hosted by Flavio Nisti, a well-known face in the community and part of why we love going to La Lupa di Roma. DJs Chus & Ceballos will be here all the way from Madrid, after their successful splash at last year's party was so well-received. * The Women's Jazz Brunch starts off March 7 at 11 a.m. Pam Grier once again makes an appearance to talk to all the lovely ladies. At noon, of course, there is the much-celebrated outdoor dance party, one of the largest in the world. The Beach Party will be held at 12th Street Beach off Ocean Drive, with Ana Paula spinning the tracks at her very first Winter Party. Give her a very big "obrigado"; she came all the way from Rio de Janeiro! At 9 p.m., the Orbit dance party returns, this time at The Terrace at Club Space, 34 NE 11th Street. Tracy Young opens for DJ Boris; like Ana Paula, he is also a newcomer to the party. * Walk up the street after Orbit is over to Nocturnal, 50 NE 11th Street. DJs Alyson Calagna and Hector Fonseca will be on hand to help you dance the night away and bring in the afternoon! The final event on the calendar starts at 9 p.m. on March 8, and it is called Recovery (MOVA, 1625 Michigan Avenue). DJ Oren Nizri's music will not let you forget the fun you had this year.

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studs & femmes Hey femmes and studs, how’s your day going? Getting those early errands done so you can go out with the crew? The other night I had a very interesting conversation with my friend, and she asked me if I would ever date a stud? After two minutes of staying frozen thinking about it, I said I couldn’t cause I don’t like to be dominated from my kind. No judgments; I just love feeling the softness of a femme. I’m a stud and would only date femmes, nothing else past that. So I simply ask my friend if she would ever date a femme, and of course her response is “I don’t think so!” She says she'd rather have a good looking butch. lol. Three weeks ago, I started dating a beautiful girl named Angela. We met a few months ago and every day she’s made me the happiest girl. There’s times she would dress as a stud and I feel totally comfortable with it. You would be surprised how hot a femme can look when they’re dress in boy clothes and baggy pants hanging off their hips showing that sexy skin. Femmes want their tomboy stud-looking girlfriends by their sides 24/7, giving them that security because they don’t want strange studs or men hitting on them while they're at the store. That’s another thing I love about studs; we show no BS, though we can get very uptight in the ass about who our girl is with and who she's talking to. If you think about it, some of us studs are very protective with our girlfriends and want studs and men to keep distance from them. Don’t lie, because I see how studs and I react when someone approaches our girls. Don’t deny it! To date a stud...I wouldn’t know about that, except it doesn’t matter what they wear; what matters is what their natural beauty reveals them as. Have you ever questioned yourself and thought about whether you would maybe date a stud or prefer a femme? What about the femmes? Ever thought of discovering the same lifestyle with another femme...sharing the same interests? We have a lack of communication with ourselves and that leads to us feeling superficial.

We can be careless about their hobbies, emotions, personality, career job or whatever situations they’re involved in, intensively concentrating on money and who has a taste for obsessed fashion. To break it down, we all encounter those gold digging, money pickers, jewel snatchers, shopaholics or whatever names people have created today. I love my females, though sometimes I catch what bad habits they have that are hard to control. Let’s not get off topic! Sometimes we studs or femmes tend to change what category we’re in so we can date that stud we find so divine. Some femmes are willing to try a new side of life, being a stud and taking courage to talk to that hot femme you see every Wednesday night at the club. If you feel you're mostly a stud or femme, we’re really all the same, we just see different aspects in each other. Studs and femmes, show the respect and courtesy you know you've got. We all love the…females!



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Crash Course in Fashion It has just dawned on me that some of you may not have a clue as to what the hell I am talking about when I highlight certain events, talk about amazing designers, and all of that fashion terminology. So I thought that it would be a genius idea to give you a crash course in the fabulous world of fashion. Here is a list of what you need to know to be in-the-know, just so you know. It’s like having a little cheat sheet in your back pocket. Denim: A rugged cotton twill textile, in which the weft passes under two (twi- "double") or more warp threads. Also called jeans. Flat Front: Having no pleats; can be very slimming. Pleated: Don’t worry about this one, and if you have them, throw them out. Boot Cut: Pants with legs that are flared at the bottom to fit over boots. Haute Couture: The leading establishments or designers who create the exclusive fashions. Fashion House: An establishment in which fashionable clothes are designed, made, and sold. Model: Duh! Supermodel: Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss, and the list goes on and on. Fierce: ME! Cute: Cute. Cuuuuute: Really cute. Busted: Not cute at all. Painted: Wearing makeup.

Bling: Flashy jewelry worn especially as an indication of wealth; in a broad sense, it can mean having expensive and ostentatious possessions. Low Waist: The low rise in a pair of pants between the crotch of the pant and the waist. Also known as hip huggers. Form-Fitted: You can guess this one. Anti-Fit: New terminology for the loose-fitting silhouettes, baggy. Bougie: Aspiring to be a higher class than one is. Runway: Narrow ramp extending from the stage into the audience of a theatre, nightclub, and so on, used by models in a fashion show. Prêt-à-Porter/Ready-to-wear: Clothing that is mass produced in standardized sizes and sold at retail stores in a finished condition. Fashionista: A person devoted to fashion clothing, particularly unique or high fashion. Swagger: How you present yourself to the world. Recessionista: Keeping it cute even though you are broke. The Big 4: New York, London, Paris, and Milan. They host fashion weeks and are the fashion capitals of the world. Vintage: Clothing from another era. Wow! I could go on and on but I don’t want to overload you with too much information. Please send me your comments and queries to jorge@omgmag.com. If you are in dire need of some help with any of your fashion needs, do not hesitate to write me. I will be more than happy to help as long as you don’t look better than me. May the FIERCE be with you! Off to Vegas for the apparel shows! I will share all details when I get back! Rest in Peace Alexander McQueen: genius, visionary and legendary fashion Icon.







Ever Feel Like You're in Will & Grace? Here's Your Opportunity to Prove It! Will & Grace was a pretty good sitcom. I think part of its success is that it was fiction, therefore one is fine with believing that it can't be a reality...or if it is a reality, it's not something you want to brag about. Co-dependent best friends, one secretly wanting the other and the other letting her malfunction for the sake of his ego? I mean, I wouldn't put that next to "Nobel Prize" on a resume.

WRITTEN BY MIKE HALTERMAN

However, if you have no shame, Doron Ofir Casting is now offering you and your equally pathetic fag hag the chance to star in a reality TV show about real-life "Will & Graces." People tend to think they're cuter and funnier than they are, so an unscripted reality show is probably not going to lead to the same wacky hijinks Mr. Truman and Miss Adler had. Wake me up when they call for Jacks and Karens.

Fly the Flabby Skies! ...Or Not? If there's one thing Kevin Smith isn't, it's quiet. The well-known screenwriter and director of such films as Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for being "too fat to fly," therefore possibly being "a flight risk." I find this hilarious, and this is also where I call bullshit on Southwest Airlines. If you've met me, you know that I'm not a modelesque figure. I weigh over 300 pounds at 5'7". I can fit into one seat and I've never had any problems on an airline before. Kevin Smith looks like he weighs less than I do and he's told that he should buy two seats? First off, if you're in the seat and fit into it, then there should be no big deal. Second off, telling someone under 300 pounds to buy two seats is like a realtor trying to sell a mansion to someone who could be living in a condo. It's just wasteful. He's publicly shaming Southwest at this point, and I say good on him!

Dutch Skater: "Talk About My Skating, Not My Girlfriend!" The Winter Olympics are underway in Vancouver, and there's already been an outing! Ireen Wüst, competing as a speed skater for the Netherlands, was outed in the English-language media after an interview surfaced from her home country last year, discussing her relationship with fellow speed skater Sanne van Kerkhof. Well, now she doesn't want any part of it! In a recent interview, Wüst fought back against a journalist asking about her personal life. “I want to talk about ice skating...You are not asking Sven Kramer [another Dutch speed skater] about how his relationship is going. So why would you ask me? If I would’ve had a relationship with a guy, you wouldn’t have asked me either.” I have to admit, it's true. She hasn't even really hid anything about her relationship with Sanne; the extra mile is unnecessary. Let her speak at her own pace, and good on you for being out!

GOSSIP









The best gay men’s resort in the world Voted by the readers of Out Traveler Magazine

what will you remember?

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Mar 20 - Apr 19 Okay, Drunky McDrunkard, let's get it together. You know your job is on the line, and no, I don’t mean your night job. That corner will always be yours!

Sept 22 - Oct 22 Valentine's Day was pretty good for you, huh? I’m happy for you, but you got some shady, jealous friends you better watch out for. Shame on those Cancers.

Apr 20 - May 19 Which sounds worse? “Paper or plastic?” or ”Would you like fries with that?” Ah, it doesn’t really matter; you will be asking one or the other soon enough.

Oct 23 - Nov 21 It's going to be a great week for you. May not be all the flashing lights and red carpets you're used to, but who needs all that when you've got what you've got in your pockets? Call me!

May 20 - Jun 20 Crotchless pantyhose and edible undies are really not your style. It doesn’t matter how hard you try; he’s still dumping you. Even your romantic side won't work

Nov 22 - Dec 21 Anna Anna Anna Anna Anna Nicole! You could learn a thing or two from her; she was a Sag too! Money, cars, and fame, honey. You just got to know who to use and how to use ‘em. Go wrap him around your finger.

Jun 21 - Jul 21 I know Britney made 3P popular, but girl, you’ve taken it too far! Calm down and relax. You’re using that bathhouse like it's not going be there next week.

Dec 22 - Jan 19 You should just bend over and tell the whole world to kiss your…as usual, you're flying high and on top of your game. It’s going suck for a few weeks, though; get used to singing, "One is the loneliest number…”

Jul 22 - Aug 22 Your style is messy and your makeup is cracked. It’s time for a makeover. It's gonna take a lot more than AquaNet and glitter this time around. Cheap is good, but not that good.

Aug 23 - Sept 21 Just because work has your panties in a bunch does not mean you can bunch everyone else’s. Manhunt is not a stress reliever, honey. You need real therapy.

Jan 20 - Feb 17 It's not cute and you're not cool. Skinny jeans were not meant for a lady of your stature. Suck it in, tuck it back, and stick with carpenter jeans, like the rest of you Aquarians.

Feb 18 - Mar 19 We get it, Mary. You're gay, loud and proud, but with all that rainbow merch you have on, you're scaring people (friends, lovers and tricks) away. Tone it down a little bit!

Note: precise dates vary slightly from year to year, and from source to source. These are not meant to be definitive.






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