Discovering the Blessings in Convalescence and Forced Downtime

by Lorena Junco Margain

We all know how it feels to be stuck in bed or at home with the flu, a bad cold, or a virus. Top of being miserable from discomfort—a pounding head, stuffed sinuses, and all sorts of other unpleasant symptoms—we are miserable with impatience. Time drags on as we pine for the day when we'll be on our feet again, back to our routines and the activities we love.

Most of the time, we can take comfort in the fact that sooner or later, the symptoms will pass. what about those of us living with a chronic health condition? It afflicts our digestive system, heart, lungs, and liver. It's always with us. The symptoms and discomfort might cycle from good to bad days, but they never go away.

How, then, do we reassure ourselves during those times when the symptoms are flaring and keeping us bedridden or simply unable to go about our daily lives?

This is a dilemma I know all too well. Years ago, a surgeon treating me made a grave mistake. After removing my right adrenal gland, which had been diagnosed with a tumor, he removed the left adrenal gland.

Our adrenal glands are small but powerful and important. Regulate hormones that control vital functions like blood pressure, heart rate, metabolism, growth, fertility, and a host of other bodily functions we never even think about until they go wrong.

This error changed my destiny, leaving me with a lifetime of medical issues I must confront daily. A second surgery removing part of my remaining adrenal gland ultimately saved my life. I now live with only one-half of one adrenal gland and must contend with a lifetime of medical issues. There are days and often weeks when I am excessively fatigued. I am often plagued with extreme fatigue, pain, depression, and confusion.

It's difficult and often painful, but it can be extremely frustrating. I have been a very energetic, fast-paced, and busy person, I love embracing life every day, being involved in and active with my family, my community, and my art. when bad days stretch into bad weeks and even months, there is little I can do except stay at home, stay in bed and wait.

It would be easy to slip into darkness and self-pity—and I confess there are times when I've let this happen. We're only human. But I have learned that, while not a gift, being bedridden or confined at home can open doors to a host of hidden blessings and opportunities if we let it. Here are some of them:

Limitations encourage introspection. When sidelined from your usual activities, you can embrace silence and solitude and dig deep into your mind and heart. It is a powerful time for meditation, prayer, reflection, journaling, and generally connecting with your soul.

It's when it's okay to put your needs first. Sometimes we can put our needs above everyone else's without guilt or shame, but they are rare. But when we're feeling unwell, self-care is paramount. It's a time to listen to our bodies and hearts and to be open with those around us about what we need so we can move toward healing and tell ourselves that, in this case, doing so is okay.

You become more spiritual. When so much is beyond your control, and in many respects, all you can do is wait, there's little to do aside from surrender: to your caregivers and the higher power that guides you. This is a time ripe for coming to terms with your human condition and mortality. During my own times of being bedridden or confined, I have noticed a very tender window opening up inside me. Surrendering is extremely powerful. It gives you a glimpse of the immense universe and the perfection of creation.

It's a chance to get your affairs in order—mentally and physically. During confinement, I've put together a living will mapping out my wishes in case I cannot make decisions. This has meant reflecting on what I want, discussing it with my family, and consulting an attorney.

There's also a physical process that downtime lends itself to organizing drawers, closets, and attics, deciding what material things you want to keep and what you can let go of. It's very cathartic.

You notice miracles. Miracles aren't just the huge, earth-shattering events we hear about in religious settings such as healings at Lourdes or manna from heaven. On the contrary: miracles happen all around us, every day, in the smallest ways: a flower blossom opening, a baby cooing, a stranger catching our eye from a distance and warming our hearts with a smile. Time slows down when stuck in bed or at home, and our perspective zooms in on our immediate surroundings. As a result, we experience the smallest moments and the miracles they hold.

Gratitude is amplified. When we are tuned into miracles and the tiniest moments touch our hearts, we are filled with intense gratitude for everything, small and large: healthy food to eat, a cozy bed to rest in, people we love, and the amazing complexity of the human body. Nothing can turn challenges and frustration into a blessing as gratitude can.