My Turn Dude, The Barking Dog
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’ve written about Dude beginning to think we shouldn’t have told Dude how before. He’s the mongrel much we loved him. He seems to be taking advantage of unknown heritage who of it. His barking has occasionally been annoying but moved from California to was for good canine causes — motorcycles, delivGeorgia over a year ago. Dude ery trucks or anything with a loud muffler. In early and Louise, a streetwise chi- September, however, Dude transitioned to all-night huahua, shared a house with bark parties. He has shown a special affinity for trains. our son, Seth, in Los Angeles. A railroad track is about a mile from our home, with Louise and Seth now have mostly open fields between us. We often hear the soft their own place at the farm. rumble of trains at night, a distant noise that’s rather Dude lives with Jane and me. conducive to sleep. But Dude has a different opinion. Neil Seth’s back yard in Los He hears the trains long before they reach here and Joiner Angeles was enclosed with a well after they’re gone. He barks the whole time, then high wooden fence, but Dude celebrates running them off. I’ve tried to quiet him but barked too much to be left there. Neighbors on both had no success. sides had regular sleeping habits that the big dog did not My first technique was to open the back door and fully appreciate. The animal shelter said if Dude came gently reason with him. “Dude,” I would say calmback again, he wouldn’t be leaving on a leash. They had ly while looking into his big innocent eyes, “do you a three-strike rule and Seth had tossed the third pitch. remember what we talked about? Remember how The first challenge we faced was convincing Dude I told you that we like to sleep at night? We’d really to remain inside our fenced yard. It’s a nice area, appreciate your help. You’re a good boy.” Two weeks which has been home later, I switched to my firm to three other fine dogs, voice. “Dude! “I switched to my no-nonsense no-nonsense all now happily roaming Knock it off! I’m tired of voice. Dude! Knock it off!” in the land of golden fire all that barking. I don’t hydrants. Libby, Freckles want to hear another peep and Lilly were perfectly content with their grassed out of you! Don’t make me come out here again!” playground, luxury garage suite and 24-hour buffet. Then finally, I stumbled across something that But not the Dude. He kept climbing the chain-link worked. When I shined a flashlight at him through fence and showing up at our back door. our bedroom window, he retreated to his quarters. It took several months for Dude to understand how Apparently, his past included a bad experience with good he has it and stop looking for escape routes. a beam of light. Sadly, it took him less than a week to Except for occasional barking that was slightly beyond figure out my ploy. the norm, all was well. Lately, however, he’s reverted to Thinking music might soothe him, I tuned his his California ways. He barks nonstop for hours, most- radio to Willie’s Roadhouse for some classic country. ly at night. I don’t think he’s wakening our neighbors, It seemed to be working until they played “Folsom but I’m afraid to ask. Prison Blues.” When Johnny Cash sang, “I hear the Our current troubles can be traced back to Dec. train a coming,” Dude howled along. He didn’t stop 8 of last year. Without any warning, Dude suddenly until Conway Twitty said, “Hello Darlin’.” appeared to be dying. Rather than going with us for his I don’t know what else to do, so that’s why I’m writusual afternoon walk, he struggled to even stand. Jane ing this column. A solution that doesn’t involve shockand Seth coaxed him into the cab of my pickup and ing, shooting or bringing him inside is what we’re took him to the vet. looking for. You can call most any time, even at night. An X-ray showed a mass in his stomach and internal If there’s a train rolling through Coley Crossing, we’ll bleeding. The vet said he’d probably live a couple of probably be awake. weeks. They discussed putting him down, but Dude apparently understood the conversation. He perked — Neil Joiner up and trotted out the door with pain pills, steroids Vienna, Georgia and a new attitude. That was almost a year ago, but I’m gneiljoiner@gmail.com Cotton Farming’s back page is devoted to telling unusual “farm tales” or timely stories from across the Cotton Belt. Now it’s your turn. If you’ve got an interesting story to tell, send a short summary to csmith@onegrower.com. We look forward to hearing from you.
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COTTON FARMING | DECEMBER 2021
COTTONFARMING.COM
