ST Webinar - Safe People

Healing(a)er(Child(Sexual(Abuse:( Rela6onship(Challenges(9(Safe(People! !

Svava!Brooks!

Cer,ďŹ ced!Child!Sexual!Abuse!Preven,on!Educator!

Advocate!and!Survivor! svava@educate4change.com! www.Educate4Change.com!

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This program is for informational and educational purposes only. It is ! the counsel or not meant to replace treatment of a licensed therapist. !

No,ce!how!you!are!feeling!

hHp://www.thrivingnow.com/tappingLpointsLandLinstruc,ons/!

2014!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!

Something(To(Consider!

Who!is!safe?!

How!do!I!know?!

2014!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!

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Children!and!(later)!adults,!who!are!sexually! abused!may:!

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• Blame!themselves!for!the!abuse,!!feel!abandoned!by!their! parents!and!adults,!doubt!that!they!are!worthy!of!being!loved.!

• Feel!afraid,!even!when!they!are!safe,!fear!all!rela,onships,!even! friendships.!

• Disregard!personal!safety!in!dangerous!situa,ons,!feel!betrayed! by!their!bodies.!

• Feel!unbearable!personal!shame.!

3.(Behaviors(

1.( Thoughts(

2.(Feelings( 2015!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!

Challenges!in!Rela,onships!

• If!we!were!abused!by!someone!we!loved!we!have!trouble! trus,ng.!

• Our!coping!and!triggers!kept!us!safe,!but!now!can!get!in!the! way!of!our!rela,onships.!

• Becoming!aware!of!our!beliefs!and!thoughts,!that!trigger! (trick)!us!into!thinking!we!are!not!safe,!is!hard!but!possible.!

• Choose!safe!nurturing!people!to!prac,ce!and!trust!the! process.!

• Becoming!the!parent!you!never!had!is!important.!Only!you! can!fill!that!void.!Nothing!or!no!one!else!can.! !

2015!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!

What!is!a!safe!person?!

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

A!person!who!accepts!me!just!like!I!am.!

A!person!who!loves!me!no!maHer!how!I!am!being!or!what!I!do.!

A!person!whose!influence!develops!my!ability!to!love!and!be!responsible.!

Someone!who!creates!love!and!good!works!within!me.!

Someone!who!gives!me!an!opportunity!to!grow.!

Someone!who!increases!love!within!me.!

Someone!I!can!be!myself!around.!

Someone!who!allows!me!to!be!on!the!outside!what!I!am!on!the!inside.!

Someone!who!allows!me!to!become!the!“me”!that!God!intended.!

Someone!who!helps!me!become!the!“me”!I!was!meant!to!be.!

Someone!whose!life!touches!mine!and!leaves!me!beHer!for!it.!

Someone!who!touches!my!life!and!draws!me!closer!to!who!God!created!me!to!be.!

Someone!who!helps!me!love!others!more.!!

•

Taken!from!Safe%People,!©!Drs.!Henry!Cloud!&!John!Townsend,!Zondervan!1995!

2015!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!

Steps!for!Recovery! !

• Find!someone!to!talk!to.!Counselor!or!a!friend.!!Find!a!support!group! where!you!can!talk!to!others!like!you,!read!books!on!healing,!write!in!a! journal!or!a!blog.!

• Commit!to!healing!yourself.!Key!to!healing!is!to!be!willing!to!get!help.!

• Take!responsibility!for!your!life!today,!!bad!things!did!happen!but!today!it! is!up!to!you!to!love!yourself.!!Don’t!con,nue!to!treat!yourself!the!way!you! were!treated.!!

• With!help,!recognize!the!steps!you!need!to!take!to!get!healthy;!increase! your!well!being.!!

• Prac,ce!self!care;!find!safe,!!stable,!nurturing!rela,onships.!

• Your!journey!is!unique!–!celebrate!each!step.!

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!Find!Your!Personal!Power! !You!will!feel!beHer!! ! ! It!will!get!easier!!!You!are!worth!it!!

2015!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!

Resources!

The!healing!begins!with!you!and! the!suffering!can!end!with!you.! !LLSvava!Brooks!

• Survivor!Support(and!Resources! ! ! thelamplighters.org! ! siawso.org!

! malesurvivor.org! ! Call!211! ! OneHealth.com! ! acestudy.org!

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! 1in6.org! ! psychologytoday.com! ! educate4change.com! ! JusHell.org! ! jaimeromo.com!

Great!Books!for!survivors:!!

The!Courage!to!Heal!–!Ellen!Bass!

Breaking!the!Cycle!–!Sandra!Riggins!

Repair!Your!Life!–!Marjorie!McKinnon! ! !

! Taalk.org! ! survivormanual.com! ! survivingspirit.com! ! connec,onssp.org!

2013!Svava!Brooks,!educate4change.com!