One Tribe Magazine – March 2019 – Issue 18

March 2019 18

www.OneTribeMagazine.com

The definitive style magazine for

MIND

BODY

and

SOUL

Join the world’s most inspirational creative writers living their lives in technicolour.

Wherever YOU are in the world, this is YOUR TRIBE, we together are ONE TRIBE. Featuring: What

It Took For Me To Forgive Madeleine Black How To Stop Saying Yes To Sh*t You Hate Kassie Rhodenizer Creating Results In Our Lives Dawn Bates Clearing Out The Cobwebs Pinky Ghadiali Overcoming Intercultural Differences Through The Power Of Emotional Awareness Isabel Hundt The Best Way To Move Forward Robert Landau The Power of Positivity Selena D. Valentine Are You Living An Abundant Life? Karyn Holt Balanced Mind, Inspired Heart Samareh Rahnavardi How Strong Does A Boy Have To Be To Lift His Self-Esteem Dean Powell Crying Can Be So Healing And Healthy Isik Tlabar Develop Your Emotions For Success And Happiness Shirley Palmer It’s Not The Whiney Little Bitch Conversation We Need To Have It’s The One About Impotence Instead Joanna Intara 10 Life Lessons Learnt By A Waitress Turned Coach And Counsellor Adina Oltean Allow Your Cork To Rise For Your Abundance To Flow Vanessa Louise Moore Saviour Or Collaborator Dawn Bates Luck or Divine Appointment? Christine Saunders & Jonathan Darling What If Today You Chose What’s Best For You? Samantha Caroline Lavallée Celebrating Our Uniqueness Lyn Halvorsen

Imagine a world where we don’t appear in physical body but vibrate as that little light that radiates messages in terms of emotions into the world. One light connecting with another becomes an even brighter light in this world and suddenly all differences t Isabel Hund become our strength in unity.

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Our cover features the amazing Isabel Hundt (above), a highly respected Speaker and Transformation Coach from Indiana, USA. You can read Isabel’s insightful article ‘Overcoming intercultural differences through the power of emotional awareness’ on page 14 – One Tribe Magazine will transform the way you see yourself and the world around you. So, get ready to LOVE YOUR LIFE, as our creative writers share fresh perspectives, inspiring stories and simple, easy-to-follow steps that will help you through life’s many challenges.

We would like to thank our fabulous creative writers for their amazing insights and you, our wonderful readers for your continued support over these 18 issues. Have a fabulous month and remember to share the love and live your life in glorious technicolour. – Kenny Ball (Editor and Creative Director) (Please note our writers are from all over the globe where there are variations in English dialect, to preserve authenticity we have retained these variations throughout the magazine). Photos and text are Copyright to the respective authors and OTM. © 2019 One Tribe Magazine | OneTribeMagazine.com | OneTribe.Media

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Contents One Soul Tribe

Love

World Self

What It Took For Me To Forgive Madeleine Black | 04 How To Stop Saying Yes To Sh*t You Hate Kassie Rhodenizer | 06 Creating Results In Our Lives Dawn Bates | 10 Clearing Out The Cobwebs Pinky Ghadiali | 12 Overcoming Intercultural Differences Through The Power Of Emotional Awareness Isabel Hundt | 14 The Best Way To Move Forward Robert Landau | 20 The Power of Positivity Selena D. Valentine | 25 Are You Living An Abundant Life?

Karyn Holt | 26 Balanced Mind, Inspired Heart Samareh Rahnavardi | 28 How Strong Does A Boy Have To Be To Lift His Self-Esteem Dean Powell | 30 Crying Can Be So Healing And Healthy Isik Tlabar | 32 Develop Your Emotions For Success And Happiness Shirley Palmer | 34 It’s Not The Whiney Little Bitch ConversationWe Need To Have It’s The One About Impotence Instead Joanna Intara | 36 10 Life Lessons Learnt By A Waitress Turned Coach And Counsellor Adina Oltean | 38 Allow Your Cork To Rise For Your Abundance To Flow Vanessa Louise Moore | 40 Saviour Or Collaborator Dawn Bates | 43 Luck or Divine Appointment?

Christine Saunders & Jonathan Darling | 44 What If Today You Chose What’s Best For You? Samantha Caroline Lavallée | 46 Celebrating Our Uniqueness Lyn Halvorsen | 48

Find your HAPPY! MA GAZINE

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Forgiveness for me was an act of self-love, I chose to let go of all the pain, hate and resentment which has resulted in a much more peaceful and content way to live my life. – Madeleine Black

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What it took for me to

FORGIVE Madeleine Black | Author of Unbroken, Public Speaker and Psychotherapist.

I never intended to forgive the two young men who gang-raped me when I was 13 years old. I wanted to hate them forever. As far as I was concerned they were evil, sadistic animals and I wanted someone to kidnap them, tie them up, beat them up, rape and torture them just like they had done to me for hours on end.

But in 2003, a series of events released memories that I had previously locked deep within.

My eldest daughter was turning 13; I was attending workshops and studying for a psychotherapy course.

The memories of that night started to come back. They haunted me in a way that they hadn’t before, and I was no longer able to block them out.

The memories were very disturbing; like a porn film running in my mind and, to be honest, for a long time, I thought I was going mad. Surely if it were that bad, then I would have remembered it? I now know that it’s common for our minds to numb out and shut off disturbing memories after a trauma, but they can resurface many years later, once your mind thinks you are strong enough.

So I decided I needed some help to get rid of the memories. But, I quickly discovered that I couldn’t get rid of them. I had to face them and learn to accept what was done to me to recover and heal from that night.

I learned that the way in was the way out.

It was during therapy that my therapist suggested to me that maybe they weren’t born rapists.

I could not believe what I was hearing and was completely outraged by what he was saying.

But he planted a seed within my mind, and that seed started to grow.

The boys weren’t much older than I was, perhaps 17 or 18 and I wanted to understand what went so wrong for them. How did they know how to be so violent to another human being? What had they heard, witnessed, or experienced that changed them so much?

I do believe that we all come into this world the same way--as an innocent baby; like a blank sheet of paper.

I don’t think anyone is born a rapist, murderer, or burglar. Rather, we are conditioned by life, which shapes the path and decisions we make.

A good friend of mine used to be a midwife, and she told me that she has delivered thousands of babies but has never once met an evil one.

This idea stayed with me.

And once I truly understood that truth, I felt for the young men. In their dehumanizing of me, I realized that they had dehumanized themselves and were cut off to their own source of aliveness.

I came up with a plan which I called my “Best Revenge” many years ago.

I decided to become a mother and live as good a life as I could. I chose to be happy, but I often wonder what must it be like to live with what you do to another human being.

Forgiveness for me initially was an act of self-love as I had so much blame and shame for what had happened to me. And then it became an act of understanding towards them. I chose to let go of all the pain, hate and resentment I felt for years, which has resulted in a much more peaceful and content way to live my life.

After all, they would have no idea if I was consumed by hate, bitterness or revenge. The only person it hurt was me and all those in my life. My healing came when I finally faced all the details of what they did to me on that night and learned to integrate it. I realized that I’m not my body or the things that they have done to me.

The real essence of me could never be touched.

And if I am not what was done to me; are they what they did to me?

Keep up to date with Madeleine on Facebook

And the more I thought about being gang-raped, I couldn’t help but take them into my heart, and I started to feel compassion and forgiveness towards them.

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We need to slow down, start saying NO more often and take time to reset and recharge. – Kassie Rhodenizer

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How to stop saying yes to

sh*t you hate (without offending your loved ones) Kassie Rhodenizer l Freedom Mindset Coach

How much time do you spend doing things you hate?

Meeting up with that friend who is an energy vampire, who makes you feel like you need a nap the second you leave? Heading to that work event that you just need to “make an appearance” at? Invited to a friend’s birthday party and feel like you have to go because you go every year?

I know the feeling because I used to spend the majority of my time doing things I didn’t truly want to be doing. Saying yes to everything just because I felt like I had to, or because I didn’t have a good excuse as to why I couldn’t make it. Often we feel that taking time to ourselves, to do nothing and rest, is not considered an acceptable reason to say no.

Why is it that we feel we need an excuse to justify how to spend our OWN precious time? Many of us have been brought up thinking that we have to always accommodate and please others. Perhaps it stems from a fear of not being loved or accepted if we don’t cater to the people in our lives. We have trained people to know that we will always say YES when they ask and that we will always show up even if it leaves us feeling stressed, anxious and always in a hurry. We have trained them to know that we will overextend ourselves to accommodate them, even if we have to show up as just a shell of a person, tired and feeling like crap! Holidays, birthdays and special events become a given that we have to attend for the people around us, no matter how we are feeling or whether we’re able to show up at our best. How many times have you thought or said, “I have no choice but go to that” or “I just have to make an appearance for a little while”? In our society today, it’s normal to be exhausted and stressed when showing up to spend time with friends and family. We live in a society where exhaustion and overwhelm are the NORM, and yet we continue to pile more and more on to our plate with things that we DON’T EVEN ENJOY DOING! What’s up with that?

Showing up fully When we drag our butt to these activities and engagements, it’s not

only unfair to us, but it’s also unfair to the people that we care about. Who really wants a grumpy-grump sitting in the corner at their birthday party, ready for a nap? Or the person who shows up at their “girls night out” who can’t even hold a conversation because what they really need to be doing is at home relaxing and unwinding? Our time really is precious. It is our most precious commodity, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend another damn minute of my time doing something I don’t enjoy!

What can I do about it?

It’s time to re-train the people in our lives to know that when we ARE able to show up for them, we will show up fully. We will be present, engaged and involved, and we will give them the best of us. To do this, we need to slow down, start saying NO more often and take time to reset and recharge.

In an ideal world, we would all be able to express a clear, firm NO without needing an excuse and without feeling guilty about it, but for those of us who have been a peoplepleaser for most of our lives, this may seem to extreme to start out with. We have been conditioned to feel like we need an excuse to be able to say no to something. It can be especially hard to say NO to close friends and family. We don’t want them to think we are selfish or inconsiderate.

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Trust me, I get it! So how do we communicate a NO to the people in our lives that we care about?

The trick is to get out AHEAD of the invitation. First, come up with a list of the people in your life who you are always saying “yes” to. This could be people you see often, or people you only see from time to time. Once you have your list, you’re going to approach each one of those people and have a conversation with them to let them know that you’re not going to be saying “yes” as often as you used to, because you’ve realized the importance of taking care of yourself.

You can frame it something like this: “I’ve been reflecting on the last few years and have realized that I’ve been overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted most of the time, so I’m going to start taking better care of myself. I love our time together, but when I’m tired and overextending

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myself I’m not able to show up for you like I want to. So, moving forward I’m not going to say yes to all of the things I used to. BUT, this means that when I do show up for you, I can be at my best, and give you the time and energy you deserve, instead of showing up as just a shell of a person who really needs down time or rest.”

This approach is simple, effective, and the people who truly love and respect you will understand if you communicate this in a loving way.

They want the best FOR you, and they want the best OF you, so if this will help accomplish both of those things, they will be on board! If anybody argues with you, they may not understand the importance of self-care, and that’s okay. Just know that you’re taking the right step to better take care of YOU, and that’s the most important thing you can do!

Keep up to date with Kassie on: Facebook & Instagram

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I’m not going to say yes to all of the things I used to, this means that when I do show up for you, I can be at my best and give you the time and energy you deserve, – Kassie Rhodenizer

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Creating

RESULTS In Our Lives

Dawn Bates | International bestselling author, coach and speaker.

When you look at the results others are creating in their lives, it can be incredibly inspiring or incredibly daunting and depressing.

Sometimes we forget to look at just how far we have come on our own journey. We sit in a space of negativity and allow this space to consume us.

Both comparison and jealousy are low vibrational spaces to operate from, and remaining in these spaces will eventually lead us to unhealthy places mentally, emotionally and physically.

Many of us live in our heads, rather than in our hearts. When living in our heads we can rationalise and analyse, sometimes overthinking and causing the ‘analysis paralysis’ scenario. Our minds play tricks on us and sometimes lead us to dark places.

Our deeply rooted values and belief systems borrowed from parents, society, religion and culture will also be a factor; and without diving deep into the stories we have created from these spaces we will be limiting ourselves in all that we can achieve.

For others the mind can be a very positive and powerful place to play, a place to visualise and create amazing scenarios; some to live into, some to capture on paper or on the big screen for others to enjoy.

Self-sabotage manifests in many ways.

We may think we have let go of a certain belief system or fear, but when we step into the next level of our life and vision, we are met again with some of the debilitating fears, pangs of jealousy and comparisons we had at the start of our journey.

When we remember these people are showing up in our lives because we are calling them in, we are spurred on to take action. They are in our lives to inspire us to keep moving forward, to keep believing in ourselves, to enjoy and embody each wonderful moment of each glorious day. They are there to show us what is truly possible, to remind us to shift through to the next level of our lives.

As an author of fiction I can take a simple idea and extrapolate it to weave a story that entertains, inspires and moves people, as well as having the readers sitting on the edges of their seats. My mind is a playground, but for me to create my stories I open up my heart space to understand what some people may be going through, or needing, and write from a place of love and empathy.

When we are positive, grateful people we manifest similar people into our lives to help us fulfil our true potential, answering our soul calling, our true purpose in life. Many of us know this as the law of attraction, a powerful tool in anyone’s tool kit.

When we shift from our mindset into our heart space, results we truly desire become easier to manifest. We start to get excited about life, we radiate love and positive energy and opportunities come our way.

For those with a less spiritual outlook, they will know the old cliché saying of ‘birds of a feather flock together’ or ‘behaviour breeds behaviour’. It is inevitable that positive people will want to be around other positive people; just as negative attention seekers will attract other negative attention seekers.

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So why when we are doing the work, showing up and believing our energetic vibrations are what call in the results, do some of us still not manifest the life we so desire?

For many it will be the environment we are remaining in, too afraid to let go of friends and family we have known all our lives; not realising not letting go of some of them is actually what is keeping us stuck.

Revisiting this place of fear or jealousy from this new space of evolution will show us new insights on our behaviours and vibrational level. It will show us where we still have work to do on setting boundaries, releasing negative thought patterns, healing our inner child, and start honouring ourselves more.

It may show us that we need to start asking for more, move into newer environments that stretch us even further out of our comfort zones. It may mean we need to expand our vision, set ourselves bigger goals, or take more time out for ourselves, meditating and reflecting on what we truly want in life.

Sometimes when we are on this journey of evolution and growth, what we wanted yesterday isn’t what we want today, and we just need to start saying ‘No’ to the things we were saying ‘Yes!’ to yesterday.

Checking in with our inner voice, our soul calling to us is essential. Reviewing our future goals, plans, dreams, desires

(insert your own chosen words here) on a daily, weekly basis is essential to make sure jealousy and comparison, sadness and depression don’t creep in.

Practising daily journaling with affirmations and gratitude is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves and our future happiness and success. Reconfirming what we truly want to achieve in life, the impact we wish to have in the world, whether it is our immediate family, our neighbourhood, our workplace or on a bigger scale such as our country or the world as a whole will keep us motivated.

Staying motivated will enable us to take aligned action to achieve all we wish to achieve. Going shopping with the universe as I call it, declaring what we wish to achieve, will enable others to support us on our mission by introducing us to others or collaborating with us.

Remember we are all connected, and when we start to honour ourselves and listen to our own soul calling and purpose, we give others permission to do the same. When we radiate positive vibes in energy and thoughts, we attract others who do the same.

And if we all radiate positive vibes just imagine the amazing world we would be living in and the level of abundance we would all be experiencing.

Keep up to date with Dawn at: www.dawnbates.com

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When we start to get excited about life, we radiate love and positive energy and opportunities come our way.

– Dawn Bates

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Springtime is a fantastic opportunity and a great time of year to think about not only decluttering your house but also your mind. – Pinky Ghadiali

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Clearing out the

COBWEBS Pinky Ghadiali | Mindset, transformation and performance coach.

Our minds are like a muscle so if you have learnt something in the past, like a new language or skill, it’s difficult to remember if you don’t continue to practice speaking it daily.

Which makes it harder to find the words in the corners of your mind when you need it the most. A bit like when you studied French at school and now when you go to France on holiday and you can barely remember how to say ‘Bonjour!’

We take it for granted when we have learnt something new, that it will be easily remembered and it will pop into your head.

When you hear the word ‘cobweb’ and immediately it makes you think of spiders, old houses and that bit of dust that is just out of reach in your lounge which you saw last night. I am talking about the cobwebs in your mind.

Springtime is a fantastic opportunity and a great time of year to think about not only decluttering your house but also your mind. Some corners of our mind can be like the room in your house or your flat that you have been meaning to clear out for months or even years.

Many of our uncompleted projects on our to-do list remain unfinished because of the cobwebs hanging off them. You might be confused and unclear about what to do next and the task is isn’t clearly defined in your mind.

Here are 4 tips you can use to help you keep those pesky cobwebs away, refocus, reorganise and exercise the mind.

1. Stay Active This might be obvious for some however we forget to do this.

So, here’s a reminder, breathe, take a walk in nature, go for a jog or a bike ride. Your gran was right, you do need the fresh air to blow those cobwebs away. It makes you feel more alert and lively, when you previously might have felt tired and sluggish. Exercise releases the happy hormone therefore makes you feel good and reduces stress, which allows your brain to operate at its’ full potential.

2. Learn Something New Everyday I love learning. Whether its reading or listening to a podcast, it’s a constant daily practice. When we learn

something new it forces our brains to recall past knowledge and skills.

New skills build on old skills and we store things by referencing to things that we already know. In fact it’s a for of decluttering for the mind as you will start making space in your brain for new skills.

3. Take A Break To Reset When I took 5 days detox from social media, I felt so relaxed and less stressed. The first day, I felt like I wanted to check my phone and pointlessly scroll down my FB feed but after that day, it didn’t even cross my mind. I highly recommend taking a break from SM to reset your mind.

It feels great!

4. Journaling One of the best things I ever did to change my life for the better is writing things down. Whenever you feel like things are getting out of control and you are spinning lots of plates, let’s face it, that’s most of the time for us, think about writing down your thoughts. It’s effective for managing stress, processing difficult emotions and creates personal growth. All you need is a notebook and a pen. Make sure you keep it private so that you don’t self-censor.

Keep up to date with Pinky on: Facebook and www.bypinky.com

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OVERCOMING INTERCULTURAL DIFFERENCES THROUGH THE POWER OF

EMOTIONAL AWARENESS Isabel Hundt Speaker | Transformation Coach | The Leader’s Heart Decoder | Author | Empath-Warrior

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Ever since I can remember I have wanted to work for the United Nations or at least talk in front of the UN. Now, some of you may or may not agree with the execution of their work, however, what had drawn me to this organization is its name “UNITED NATIONS”. When we are united, we can create a peaceful world. Think about it: What would really be possible if nations were to come together in unity to promote agendas that are for a greater good? What would be possible if we could look beyond border lines and connect with each other beyond cultural difference?

I have been fortunate to travel to many different countries and connect with many people from all kind of cultural backgrounds. I have always been fascinated with diversity and how people are capable of establishing intimate friendships even when they don’t speak the same language.

When I moved to the US from Germany, I had those experiences first hand. My degree in sociology and my training as a life coach helped me greatly. It even supported a deeper understanding of how people connect with each other even when language barriers are present.

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When I first came to the United States I worked as a nanny for a lovely family. Their daughters were 4 and 6 years old at that time. I barely spoke a word of English which made the communication between me and the girls rather complicated.

However, looking back, after having gained much more knowledge, wisdom and experience, I realize now that children have an incredible way of communicating. They don’t depend on language, they depend on feeling. They are not yet trapped in the busyness of this world and therefore take the time to assess other’s emotions and intentions.

Whenever I was frustrated about something or angry, they responded with anger and often tantrums. When I sat with them in an understanding and loving way, they responded with love through body language and actions.

I believe that language has become our barrier to connecting with each other on an emotional level. It is almost like talking to each other has replaced feeling and being with each other. Words fit much better into our busy lifestyle because you can just blur them out in spoken and written form. When you have to feel into a situation or feel with someone, it takes time (and you might change your mind about what you would have said first). Some may say not using words it is a waste of time because things need to get done and there are places to go. But, this speed is costing us. The cost we are paying is to lose true and deep connections with others. It is also costing us in the way we relate to ourselves, to immediate family, friends and business relationships.

Imagine your emotional world was a little light in the center of your heart sending out pulses on different frequencies according to the emotion you experience. It was also only through this light that you could communicate and connect with other sparkly lights, aka people.

But today we ignore this light so much so that it no longer has the strength to find other lights to exchange information with. It is like a muscle. If muscles aren’t being used and trained, our bodies weaken. In the case of the little light, the signal is getting weaker and the reception is rather sporadic until we don’t receive any information anymore. Many of us are not even aware of our own light, aka emotional world, anymore.

We become disconnected on every single level of being. Emotions turn into reactions instead of reflections.

Often, we are not responding to other people’s experience, even if we’d like to believe that, but we instead respond from our own level of emotional awareness. This is unfortunately, because often our emotional awareness is hardly present. We connect from the head which is mostly driven by our ego but no longer from the heart.

The “head-connection” allows us to experience ourselves as individuals who have to defend themselves to stay safe (we are really just justifying our individuality). The “heart-connections” allows us to fully become aware of our connectedness in unity.

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During workshops I often ask people to turn to their neighbor and take two minutes to connect with them by staring into each other’s eyes and adjusting their breathing to the other persons breathing. It is the most uncomfortable situation you can put someone in when sitting next to strangers. I am sure people would rather run away. However, when they do follow along, it is the most amazing, mesmerizing and enlightening experience ever. It is said that through the eyes we are connecting with the Soul. When that happens, you recognize yourself in them and they see themselves in you. All that is left is connection. It is not rare to see people tear up during this exercise. It reveals what we are missing out on almost daily because we don’t take the time.

By simply being with each other, we can connect on an emotional level. By increasing our emotional awareness, we react less to what we are feeling ourselves but also what the person in front of us is feeling.

Instead we take the time to reflect and then respond accordingly with the purpose of connection, not defense.

Emotional self-awareness is the key to deeper and healthier relationships no matter where we are from, our cultural background or what language we speak. Emotional awareness allows us to reflect on our own behavior, perceptions, beliefs, morals and values before we react to any outside triggers that can escalate situations to the point of major disagreements and fights.

Emotional awareness allows us to step outside of our cultural boxes within we often believe that our “group” that we belong to is always right and superior morally and rationally.

Emotional awareness provides a fundamental skill set required to support intercultural engagement through compassion and empathy.

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It gives us the ability to recognize, use and regulate our emotions in a healthy way.

Emotional awareness promotes curiosity and acceptance without detachment to expectations and belief systems. It also supports open-mindedness and it boosts our self-esteem and confidence due to understanding more clearly who we are at our core. Further, it creates a more resilient mindset by being able to handle outside influences in a more mature way.

The reason why I am so passionate about this specific topic leads back to a special gift I have. Over the last years I have become quite clear on the meaning of it and how to be able to use it for a greater good.

I’ve identified objects, numbers, letters, places, and people in color my whole life. From a more medical perspective, this phenomenon is called “synesthesia” and is a neurological condition in which two different senses are paired in the brain. For instance, you see colors when you hear a piece of music or you taste words. In my case my brain “pairs up” the received vibration with a color that is on a similar frequency.

Whenever I focus on someone or something, I see a specific color in my head. The color that I see is a received message from the soul/ essence that changes with their emotional state. The color is visible almost like another piece of clothing that one wears. Particularly with people, the deeper meaning behind it though is not being revealed to me unless I take the time to tune in.

However, I never go that far without permission.

The gift itself isn’t even of such importance, but the message behind it is. It calls me forth to see the individual on a heart-and soul level instead of the general focus on appearance, race, and education. It also forces me to create a high level

of emotional awareness for myself.

It also encourages me to understand each and every emotion for what they are, our guides. Otherwise I’d confuse everyone else’s experience of life for my own and confusion creates conflict within ourselves and with those around us.

I admit, it is a practice every single day due to my own bias, but I swore to myself to do whatever it takes to evolve and to expand this gift. I want to create a strong message around my experience and help shift our world perception from separation towards connection and unity.

Imagine a world where we don’t appear in physical body but vibrate as that little light that radiates messages in terms of emotions into the world. It’s like a Morse code.

All we’d have to do to understand the code is to slow down a bit and listen deeply within practicing a high level of awareness.

One light connecting with another becomes an even brighter light in this world and suddenly all differences become our strength in unity.

Keep up to date with Isabel on: Facebook and isabelhundt.com

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! t u o k a e r f t ’ n Do Acknowledge it!

Move on!

Reset!

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Make the choice to embrace life with open arms. Be open, not closed. If something doesn’t work out, move on to the next adventure. Life is so short.

Why spend more time dwelling on something that didn’t work out?

– Robert Landau

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THE BEST WAY TO MOVE

FORWARD Robert Landau | Motivational Speaker, Certified Life Coach & Published Author.

Somebody once told me that the best way to live life is to keep moving forward. The smallest step can create the biggest wave of change. My career history is proof positive of that. I was very unhappy with my acting career in New York City. Things just weren’t turning out the way I had hoped. Each month seemed more disappointing than the last and to say that I was losing hope was an understatement. Night after night I’d bemoan my fate. It was a true “Woe is me” scenario.

I eventually came to the conclusion that the only way out of the rut I had progressively dug myself into was choosing to take my power back and plan a way out. It was then that I could actually see the Light at the end of the tunnel. I suddenly realized that I wasn’t a victim, I was a true conscious co-creator.

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Once I made the choice to get out of my way, amazing things began to happen. By using the power of feeling combined with visualization, I manifested the most amazing Cruise Director career which included years of visiting remote ports of call learning the things modern societies have long forgotten. Having stepped off the cruise ships years ago, I now use the same tools of feeling combined with imagination to create a challenging and satisfying career as a National Motivational Speaker and Certified Life Coach.

I have learned that through what appears to be a great disappointment, a phoenix of new opportunity can rise from the ashes of failure and disappointment. But here’s the key, I have to be part of the process of re-imaging my destiny.

It won’t happen on its own.

Why don’t things always turn out the way we’d like them to? I believe that our path in life is never a straight shot. Rather, it’s full of many twists and turns. If life were as easy as a straight shot, we wouldn’t be here.

The trick is how you choose to deal with the many curves that your life’s journey tends to throw at you from time to time.

When you want something to happen, how do you go about making your wish a reality?

Somewhere along the line, you need to see and feel the end-result even though you haven’t started to physically move in that direction.

Your mind is a powerful tool that you can use to great effect. It can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

Sometimes initial wishes don’t come true. If things don’t turn out the way you were expecting, here are some important things to remember;

1. Don’t freak out!

Stuff happens but it’s how you choose to deal with it that makes all the difference in the world. You might not be able to change external events, but you can certainly make the choice as to how you want to react to what’s happening within.

No storm lasts forever.

2. Acknowledge it Acknowledge that things didn’t complete themselves in the best way possible and then let it go. Releasing it allows you to take the next important step. If you choose to hold on to the failure and disappointment, you’re blocking something greater from coming to you.

3. Move on Leaving disappointment behind is one of the healthiest things you can do. It’s when you choose to dwell on the negative that things can backfire.

If you constantly entertain recurring mind-chatter thoughts of why things didn’t work out the way you think they should have, you’ll never move out of that space of disappointment.

Remember, thoughts combined with feelings always turn into things. Moving on lets you refresh the situation and allows you to set another goal that will have an even better ending. If you’re listening to an album of someone’s songs and you don’t like the first number, what do you do? You move on to the next. And so it is in life. You make the choice if you want to dwell on hearing the same song over and over. You always have the power to make the choice to move to the next number on the album.

4. Reset Now that you’ve left disappointment behind, create a better version of exactly what you want to happen.

Before you even start to go along the path of claiming what it is you want, make sure you totally believe that you’ll receive what you’re asking for.

Believe that you truly deserve and

are worthy of it. So many prayers and intent-filled meditations go unanswered simply because there was a core belief that prevented the final manifestation from occurring.

You may not get what you want, but you will always get what you need.

Finally, make the choice to embrace life with open arms. Be open, not closed. If something doesn’t work out, move on to the next adventure.

Life is so short. Why spend more time dwelling on something that didn’t work out?-

You have more power than you often think you do. Realize that you are here for a reason and know that life is never a straight shot. Understanding that there will indeed be some twists and turns along the way keeps you firmly on the path you were always meant to travel. You got this!

Keep up to date with Robert at: RobertLandauMotivation.com

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The Power of

Positivity Selena D. Valentine | Chief Catalyst Office at HypnoBiz Being positive is something that we all think we are doing. Maybe it’s in varying ways at varying amounts, but positivity plays a role in our lives. That being said, how many of us are taking advantage of it? How many of us are looking for ways to deliberately stay positive and focused on life even when things get bad? Exactly. The power of positivity – really being positive in a conscious way – is incredible and can make your life all the better. Here’s how to make it work for you.

Commit to 30 days of positive thinking: Learning to be positive as much as possible takes time. Commit to 30 days of positive thinking (planning your day, your outcome and your overall attitude). After that timeframe, you’ll find that staying positive is much easier than you would have thought and you can do it again for another 30, and other 30, and so on.

Plan your day in a positive light: When you are planning out the day to come, try to keep positive about what that may entail. Even if it’s not an overly positive day with all of the to-dos, try to keep positive about the time to come and the to-dos on your list. This will turn it into a positive day even if it’s full of negatives in reality.

It’s all about outlook, after all.

Keep yourself accountable when you aren’t positive: When you find yourself slipping into the negative, don’t let yourself away with it. Hold yourself accountable

Why is this important?

and make sure that you put yourself back in a positive mindset as fast as you can. Focus on the positivity above all else and it will lead you to a positive life.

Enjoy the positive, learn from the negative: Regardless of how positive you are, negative things are going to happen to you. This is not a bad thing, however. You can learn from all of the negative things that occur to you and that will turn them into positives.

Learning from your mistakes will help you to become better at these situations in the future, which is a positive thing, after all. This way, the positives will be positive and the negatives will be positive as well.

Positivity is important because by being positive, we can be happier people. The happier you are, the happier your life will be. This allows you to simply enjoy your life a lot more than you would have before embracing the power of positivity.

Therefore, make your life the best possible version of it it can be – without changing anything in its physical occurrence. You just need to adapt your mindset and focus on the fact that you can make your life better just by looking at it all in a positive light.

You can be that positive and happy light that the other people around you depend on. And you’ll be able to do it all with a simple change of mindset.

Keep up to date with Selena on: Facebook or hypnobizny.com

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“

Let’s create a happier, kinder, caring, peaceful world for us all to live in and care for, this is TRUE ABUNDANCE! – Karyn Holt

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Are You Living An

Abundant Life?

Karyn Holt | Hypnotherapy & Confidence Coach at Transform Be You.

that we cannot survive without the latest technology, that we need their products/services in our lives and that we need to change the way we look so that we can “fit in”. But do we really need all of this “stuff”?

Do all of these material possessions mean that we have a happy, positive and confident life? Do they make us fully appreciate life? Does this “stuff” mean that we are rich? Do they make us more superior to others who don’t have the same? Do we need to change the way we look to be confident, positive and happy?

In the past 30 years, the Information Age has brought us: personal computers; the internet; laptops; mobile phones; the ability to communicate with people all around the globe via Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat; online shopping; instant access to celebrities; the fashion industry and masses of information.

It has developed at such a fast rate that there really is nothing that cannot be bought from or found on the internet, and home delivery just makes it so easy to amass more material things or “stuff”! We see photoshopped images of models and celebrities making us think and believe that we need to “look” and “dress” a certain way! But is this abundance?

Companies vie for our custom by producing enticing advertisements that make us think and believe

Do we need to be size 0 or have a thigh gap to be beautiful? Do we need to have thousands of friends on social media to be connected? The simple answer is NO! Happiness, positivity and confidence are not measured by how much “stuff” we have, how much money we have, what we look like or how many friends we have! This is not abundance.

A shift has started, the Transformation Age has begun!

An Age that is encouraging a lot of people have started questioning exactly what happiness, positivity, confidence and abundance really mean and we are now becoming more aware of their true definitions.

Abundant life is defined by firstly, the phenomenal levels of happiness, positivity and confidence in our life and secondly, our desire to help other people achieve these phenomenal levels, not just within our circle, with our family and friends, but on a global level. It is about starting

with us taking responsibility for our own happiness, confidence, health, success, relationships and then sharing our phenomenal positivity, knowledge and skills with others so that they can prosper, be happier, fulfilled, successful … experience an abundant life.

This “Ripple Effect” creates a much happier, confident, positive world as a collective, a truly abundant world, as the saying goes “sharing is caring”! The Transformation Age is the age of self-awareness, living a holistic and abundant life, helping others to remove their blocks, their negative thoughts and beliefs, so that they can live the abundant life they deserve and, ultimately, desire.

By inspiring and motivating people to be phenomenally happy, positive and confident, it has a much more a wide-reaching impact on much bigger issues that we are facing in our societies to-day; bullying, eating disorder, mental health and our younger generations, after all, they are our future. The winds of change are blowing are you ready? Is this what you want to? This collective effervescence is powerful and contagious and it has already started so let’s do it! Let’s create a happier, kinder, caring, peaceful world for us all to live in and care for and isn’t that what we all truly want!

This is TRUE ABUNDANCE!

Keep up to date with Karyn on: Facebook

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Of the approximately 40 million brain cells, most are influenced either directly or indirectly by serotonin. This includes brain cells related to mood, sexual desire and function, appetite, sleep, memory and learning, temperature regulation, and some social behavior.

Can you see why I call it the little powerful naughty hormone? – Samareh Rahnavardi

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Balanced mind,

Inspired Heart Samareh Rahnavardi Human Behavior Specialist. International Speaker. Life & Success Coach According to studies and researches we know that women have 52% less serotonin in their brain than men do and that is how we are designed, therefore they may get upset or worried deeper or hold grudges and generally on the surface they may appear selfish, yet they are truly not and they just being their true nature in being a woman.

But let’s have a look at what serotonin is.

Serotonin is often referred to as the “happiness neurotransmitter.” Elevated levels of Serotonin in the body are associated with positive emotions including happiness, peacefulness, and calm. Serotonin is a little powerful naughty hormone, I always say with such a laughter. This powerful hormone acts as a neurotransmitter, a type of chemical that helps relay signals from one area of the brain to another. Of the approximately 40 million brain cells, most are influenced either directly or indirectly by serotonin.

This includes brain cells related to mood, sexual desire and function, appetite, sleep, memory and learning, temperature regulation, and some social behavior. Can you see why I call it the little powerful naughty hormone? There are many researchers who believe that an imbalance in serotonin levels may influence mood in a way that leads to depression. I am a definitely one of them and in fact since I have personally experienced the influence that the lack of serotonin can have on your life and the quality of your dad to day living, it has become one of my passion to create awareness about it and tell them others they don’t have to live with it or with all the negative influence it can have on

your life and I promise you that there are ways to take it under control holistically before you surrender to pharmaceutical medicine. There are natural ways on how to raise your serotonin level which I have found them with lots of researches and follow ups and I am so sure of the affect they can have on you.

Now I would like to help you by showing you ways of how to raise your serotonin naturally so to be more of a balance, calm and powerful self of you. Although this might seem a need for women, men too can absolutely and truly benefit from the knowledge and the tips I am about to share. These are some solutions to create more of authentic happiness and cheerfulness for all no matter what your sex or age would be. As simple as it may seem, its amazingly powerful.

So here are a few suggestions to take on daily: Drink Saffron tea (or use it in your cooking)

take between 50 mg to 250 mg per day and it is found in any health store around the world.

Exercise regularly Movement is powerful and it releases serotonin. Even if you walk 20 min a day you will increase a high level of serotonin in your brain which will last very long, or just dance to one or 2 of your favourite songs.

Write down negative thoughts Active writing is healing. It is basically a form of meditation. By writing you create space for new thoughts and ideas in your mind, because you literally delete the negativity in a perceived negative situation or a thought by writing about it.

Journaling at night can really help. Write down what worries you and what you can or can’t do about it. Did you know that Queen Victoria wrote about 2000 words every day of her time of being on the thrown!? Well, maybe that’s why she was a queen for sixty years, who knows!

It’s a magnificent anti-depressant, like a happy pill.

Get a massage

I make this tea in the afternoon or sometimes during the day, it is so funny because it even makes me laugh a little more than usual, and it’s hilarious.

The reason that it makes you laugh more and be more cheerful, is because of the calmness that bring to your body and mind while making you relax.

There was a study that was done on some pregnant women. These women were massaged twice a week for four months and after the four months the researchers found out that their level of serotonin has been raise up to 30%!

And that is a high level of increase. So how about you book yourself a massage sometimes soon.

Take 5HTP This amazing supplement Increases Serotonin levels in the brain, Enhances mood and alleviates stress, it also Improves sleep and regulates appetite.

It is generally well tolerated and you can

Keep up to date with Samareh on: Facebook or Instagram

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How strong does a boy have to be to lift his

self-esteem Dean Powell | CEO and Founder at Addictionary. Holistic Yoga Teacher.

The little boy has just dipped his spoon into his porridge. It is Sunday morning and he feels like he’s in heaven. He loves his porridge and today it’s just right; Heaps of brown sugar and butter melting into it and mixing with the cream taken from the top of the milk in the thick glass bottle.

He is rugged up in his favorite blue pyjamas with red fire trucks plastered all over them. They were fresh out of the wash last night so they still have that new clean feel to them. On his feet are his soft brown slippers.

And then it happens. The sick feeling in his stomach returns instantly and his whole body spasms. The spoon jerks in the porridge sending all the deliciousness spilling onto the table. Dad is yelling at Mum in the bedroom. Again.

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inside himself. Making himself as small as possible. Nowhere is safe and everywhere is familiar. He has shrunk so far that his eyes feel as though they are deep inside his head. Looking out at the kitchen around him feels like looking through a long tube. It is completely quiet this deep inside him but on the outside, everything is shaking.

The argument yells and bashes its way up the hallway.

Dad is pissed off about his washing not being done properly. He is yelling and swearing and the little boy knows that his fists will soon be swinging. Mum is trying to defend herself in the meek kind of way that she does. She is following him and answering back, saying, “if you don’t like the way I do it, then do it your bloody self” but her voice is shaky and she sounds scared. He knows he’s got her … she’s too weak for him.

By the time they appear in the kitchen the little boy is too afraid to look up. The bass drum he hears is his heart pounding against his boney chest and his skinny bone arms are rattling on the table in time with the shaking of his body. He feels white and small and so very helpless and pulls a little further into his cocoon.

He takes a terrified look, nothing moving but his eyeballs, and sees Dad holding one of his black bush singlet’s in his hand as he turns to yell at Mum some more. Flicking the singlet at her again and again. It looks like a striking snake.

“There’s the fucking door. If you don’t like it, use it!”

She yells back but the little boy doesn’t hear what she says.

The little boy’s voice screams inside him, “Please mum leave him alone … just leave and go back to the bedroom …

stop arguing with him … you’re making him worse”

“ Hi, my name is Dean Powell and I was that little boy.

He tried to yell at both of them but there was no sound. Nothing ever comes out.

Everything is trapped inside like jagged, hard rocks in his gut.

My intention in telling you this part of my story is to let you know that no matter where we come from or what has happened to us, our lives are for living from today on.

Suddenly dad grabs mum by hair with his left hand and rams the singlet into her face with the other hand. It’s on. Mum screams and the boy’s arms bounce faster against the tabletop. His Mum looks like his sister’s rag doll, flopping and shaking at the end of his Dad’s hand and screaming so that the boy feels her terror added to his own. His Dad is huge. Big muscled arms from felling trees for a living. His face and neck have turned bright red. Spit flies from his mouth. “Shut your fucking mouth and listen you good for nothing Bitch!”

The boy can see them in the washhouse now. His mother’s head being hammered into the old ringer washing machine in time with his father’s words.

He can’t move. His heart is punching and slamming against his chest. Just like his dad’s fists which are now pounding into his mum’s head.

Suddenly his little two-year-old sister is in the washhouse hitting at his dad’s legs. “Leave my mummy alone. Leave my mummy alone”. In an instant, she is on the floor near the door. He has kicked her. She gets up, shouting, “stop it, stop it, stop it” and keeps on yelling even when the boy’s twin sister comes and carries her back to the bedroom.

His dad is spitting huge globs of spit, like a savage, out of control dog.

And then he stops. The front door slams, almost breaking the glass inserts and he is gone.

Mum is on the floor where he has discarded her. Not moving, just sobbing and breathing. He pulls himself out of his cocoon, puts his tiny feet on the floor and gets down from the table. He reaches the washhouse door. “Mum?” “Leave me alone. Go to your room”.

She doesn’t look at him, just yells, wiping blood from her beaten face.

He balls himself upon his soft bed where he hears his father’s habitual words roaring among the rocks in his gut, “you’re a weak, useless, good for nothing piece of shit, boy”.

Sure the past shapes us and we can either cling to it as an excuse for not having the full and rich lives we say we want, or we can come to terms with it by learning to see it differently and give up all hope of it ever being anything other than what it was. It is how we think about it and what we believe about it that will determine what happens next.

My story didn’t end with that little boy curled up on his bed believing he was a useless and pathetic waste of space. In fact, that was just the beginning. Being exposed to the violence and abuse, and believing what my father told me about myself, took me on my own path of abuse and violence: inflicted mostly on myself but often enough on others, sadly those closest to me.

In an effort to find myself and prove myself worthy of being a man, I attached myself to all sorts of male role models whom I thought were real men and who I hoped would show me how to be one. At the very least, I hoped that being with these men would make me feel better about myself. That some of their masculinity would rub off on me.

I became a junkie, an alcoholic, an abuser, and an attention addict all to try and wipe out my father’s words. In the end, I became every bit of the useless, pathetic, good for nothing piece of shit he told me I was. I had fulfilled his prophecy.

I hit rock bottom when I had my own nine-year-old son by the throat up against the wall, wanting so badly to punch him.

I realised in that instant I had become my dad; the one thing I swore my whole life I would never be like.

I was angry, depressed, unfulfilled and miserable. I regularly contemplated suicide and had planned out various ways to do it. My relationship with my partner was empty to say the least, as was every other relationship in my life. I didn’t know how to let people in or how to be intimate, ironically the thing I craved the most.

The turning point for me came when I sat in a seminar and got to experience the most profound thing in my life to date. It was like someone let me into a room of complete knowing for an instant and summed my life up in a way I never thought possible. We then absolutely reframed that life in an instant and I got to see my dad, my life and my future in a whole new way.

It was not a head or mental thing it was a complete shift in consciousness!

I felt completely different. From that point on I obsessively studied this work with diligence and focus and learnt all I could. As a result not only did my life change including my ability to have real relationships with partners, children, family and real friends but I now get to help other people change their lives.

I now know that everyone has a ‘story’ and no matter how good (yes good believe it or not) or bad the story is it keeps us repeating the same patterns and cycles in our lives. So if you are one of the many who know there is more to life than what you are currently experiencing and you want to REALLY do something that will profoundly shift things then click the link below.”

Keep up to date with Dean at: www.lifetorque.com.au

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CRYING can be so healing and healthy Isik Tlabar | Transformational Coach, Writer. Workshop Leader.

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Growing up, maybe crying was shamed in your house or amongst your friends.

You might have felt that it was not ok to cry, it’s a sign of weakness. Or you might have judged others for crying in public.

I cry a lot. I cry from feeling loss and grief. I cry from feeling grateful. I cry from being premenstrual and on my period as women are more connected to their emotions around this time.

Crying doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s the mind that thinks something’s wrong. You’re a human, you’re meant to feel and cry. It’s your body’s natural release.

Sometimes anger can be a way of escaping feeling sad. When you sit with yourself and observe the anger, you might find sadness underneath it. And I promise you if you feel that sadness fully, you will feel freer and lighter afterwards.

It’s also important how we are with others when they cry. If someone’s crying in front of you, it can feel almost automatic to rub their back, give tissues, give them a hug etc. You just have good intentions and don’t want to see your loved ones suffer, right? Even though it comes from deep love and care, this might actually stop them from processing their emotions.

Maybe they don’t want any fixing at that moment. Maybe they just want to cry, to be seen and heard. Trust their ability to go through their emotions and trust your ability to hold that for them with your presence and love. When you feel the energy naturally shift and settle, feel free to offer a hug.

I went to Vivek’s Satsang a few weeks ago. He was saying how emotions are not yours, welcome them with love.

They’re just moving through you. I love this. When you see they’re not yours and there’s nothing wrong with you, you can move through those emotions with surrender.

Here are a few steps to allow yourself to feel or to cry properly: • Give yourself 10-20 minutes uninterrupted time where you give yourself permission to feel or cry.

• Close your eyes, take 5 deep breaths.

• Allow your emotion, whatever it might be sadness, grief, loss etc to be there.

• If you feel tears want to come, let them come. Don’t hold back. If you tend to cry silently or hold your breath with every sob, make a sound “aaa” to help the release.

• Put your hand on your heart, imagine sending compassion to yourself. You got yourself, you’re not alone.

I have a playlist I put together and used a lot last year around the time my dad passed away. I would literally give myself 30 min time to cry in between work wherever I could. May it support you in releasing any emotions.

Whatever you’re going through, know that it’s passing with every breath and tear. You’ll come out from the other side thinking “That was hard but I’m grateful, it made me who I am today.”

If you need support, just reach out to me.

How is your relationship with crying?

Would love to hear.

Love you.

Keep up to date with Isik at: www.isiktlabar.com

Just search Isik Tlabar on Spotify and go to “Grief” playlist.

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Develop your Emotions for Success and

Happiness Shirley Palmer | Mindset Master, Mentor, Speaker and Author. awareness and abilities to think, feel and act determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including relationships.

Being aware of your emotions can be difficult; at times it can be overwhelming. You need to be able to step back and see what you are experiencing, accept the emotion and then choose more positive thoughts and behaviours to enhance your level of happiness.

We probably all know people, either at work or in our personal lives, who are really good listeners. No matter what kind of situation we’re in, they always seem to know just what to say – and how to say it – so that we’re not offended or upset. They’re caring and considerate, and even if we don’t find a solution to our problem, we usually leave feeling more hopeful and optimistic.

People like this have a high degree of Emotional Intelligence (EI).

They know themselves very well, and they’re also able to sense the emotional needs of others.

Over the last decade science has discovered a remarkable amount about the role that emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that more than Intelligent Quotient (IQ), your emotional

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The key to accepting your emotions is to do what you need to do despite what you are feeling. Accept and learn from your feelings, but don’t let them run your life. By remaining productive during difficult emotional periods, you are more likely to improve your emotional state than if you do nothing. This is why emotional intelligence is a far better predictor of success in life than IQ. If you’ve got a super high IQ and extremely low control of your emotions, you simply will not manifest your highest potential.

“75 percent of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including inability to handle interpersonal problems; unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.” – Centre for Creative Leadership Here are ten simple ways to improve your emotional intelligence, be more successful and find added happiness:

1.

Journal. Write down your thoughts and feelings daily it can have a profound and positive effect. It’s personal, for you and no-one else.

2.

Ask yourself: How do I feel today?

Check-in with your sense of your overall well being and give yourself a daily score from 0 to 10. Notice if on one day they seem very different and explore why. Ideally try and do it at the same time every day.

3. I f you are not sure how you are feeling, ask someone else.

From time to time you may be so caught up in your emotions that you cannot assess how you truly feel. Ask someone you really trust, they will notice how you are communicating and coming across to other. You may find the answer both enlightening and surprising.

4.

Connect your feelings with your thoughts. Pay attention to your feelings, if something feels a little out of the ordinary allow yourself to investigate it and fully understand where it comes from and whether it is true or not.

5. Listen to your body. Ask yourself what that knot in your stomach is about, or the ache in your shoulders. Could it be stress? If so, what from? Noticing butterflies in the stomach – is that a positive feeling? Remember we all have different feelings manifesting in different ways in our bodies,

ensure you give yourself time to explore, feel and appreciate them.

6. Tap into your unconscious feelings. One way to do this is to pay attention to your dreams.

Write brief notes and notice where they have recurring patterns or where they are charged with emotion. Alternatively, you can try free thinking, let yourself feel relaxed and allow your thoughts to wander freely, and then watch where they go.

7. Don’t critique your feelings too quickly. Healthy emotions can rise and fall and fade naturally, allow yourself to acknowledge and think them through rather than just dismissing them. Awareness is key.

8. Shift your focus. Acknowledge when it is time to shift your focus from a negative emotion or feeling. It is important to be in the present and not stuck in the emotion. By ensuring you are focused in the present moment you are creating from a more active and positive place.

Empower your thoughts.

9.

Practice meditation and mindfulness. Whilst this has become a more mainstream activity more people end up talking about it instead of practicing. Considering finding a local community that will support your practice. From as little as 10 minutes a day of meditation will help ease any stress, anxiety, etc. daily and mindfulness will always be an ongoing practice by ensuring you are more aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions.

10. Walk in nature. Our lives were not made to live in boxes, and it is only when we allow ourselves to be outside, in nature whether it is a forest amongst trees, on the top of a mountain or by the ocean listening to the waves that we can connect fully with a deeper sense of who we are. Consider a daily walk in nature even if it is only 20 minutes it will serve you well.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” – Dale Carnegie

emotional intelligence and you and your business could be much more successful.

Shirley Palmer is CEO of Shirley Palmer International (London and Los Angeles) which focuses on maximising potential in both businesses and individuals. She is a Transformational and Business Mentor, Mindset Master, Speaker and Author (12 Words – Think it. Feel it. Do it.). She works with CEOs, senior management teams, entrepreneurs and professionals positively changing the direction of their business and/or personal life.

Shirley is running a series of “Dream Team” Retreats in UK, Mallorca and California this year. In addition, her new Mastermind Group is open for applications for a June start. More details can be found at www.shirleypalmer.com and you can follow her on IG https:// www.instagram.com/mindset_ master_shirley/ or on FB at fb.me/ shirleypalmerinternational

Keep up to date with Shirley on: Facebook & shirleypalmer.com

So, take some time and tune in to how you feel, register your

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It’s not the whiney little bitch conversation we need to have

It’s The One About Impotence Instead Joanna Intara | Medicine Woman for the Soul I love Bill Maher.

He’s amazing, funny, talented and brilliant.

And the whiney little bitch conversation has been on the table for a long time.

And I’ve been listening to it, and today it really got to me.

Part of it is that it’s become standard now for that expression to be used repeatedly about men (or women) who complain.

Like somehow the idea is that if you shame complainers enough, they will eventually just ‘snap’ out of it, including (cough) some notable public leaders.

But I’m not having it.

And this does not mean I just accept complaining either, from myself or others.

Because someone who is complaining feels impotent in some way. Not feeling powerful, not empowered, not able to activate, and THAT, is a big deal which requires some serious healing, transformation and awakening. It is NOT an overnight deal.

And yet, how many people do you know of that can say the I word, for Impotent.

Probably when you hear it you think men’s sexuality, impotence and that’s where it’s most commonly discussed, but the reason we have a president in the White House who is made fun of as a whiney little bitch is because we really can’t have the impotence conversation hardly all.

It’s not lost on me, or you, that the outer mandala reflects the inner one.

And yet, we cannot let our unacknowledged impotence(s) and powerless govern our soul or our country!

Let us drop the shame and blame.

And the need to get humor from somewhere because we can’t really talk about the real thing being impotence.

Because it is painful, and it hurts to acknowledge our powerlessness, and our unpowerful selves, but we must, before we can make any genuine pivot into creation or LOA (Law of Attraction) that you desire to manifest into being.

And the mind can make lots of judgments about it, and try with it’s inner bad gangs to incarcerate you into a false truth about yourself.

But those are all empty anyway.

What is true is that you feel without power somewhere. Disconnected from flow, alignment, and fulfillment.

It’s that you don’t feel powerful and it’s time you admitted it, because no amount of manic creation, or affirmation will release it till you recognize what it is, And face it for the fulfillment it will bring you, like your immense power, capacities and gifts waiting for you, but just not in the form you were attached to them appearing to you in to start with.

I wonder where are the ones that are ready and willing to be able to be this humble, and meet the impotence inside, the powerlessness, with radical care and deep love and understanding.

And sit with the discomfort.

And not go into fight, flight, or numb.

And bring it presence.

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Through body, heart and mind.

And feel the shift that’s waiting to be had.

Your soul’s fulfillment is not a passing fad.

Those are the ones that will live their big empowerment and service gifts out loud for all the souls to be served.

These are the ones that need to know how to liberate the enormous power contained inside of it.

These are the ones that have the power to shift the needle of how we evolve forward on the planet, and if that is you, this world is waiting for you be that powerful and bring it on forward.

Keep up to date with Joanna at: www.besoulfulfilled.com

THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS IS FREEDOM...

AND THE SECRET TO FREEDOM IS COURAGE.

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.com

OneTribeMagazine.com | 37

10 life lessons learnt by a Waitress turned coach and

Counsellor Adina Oltean | Coach, Mentor & Therapeutic Counsellor.

I’m Adina Oltean and back in 2012, I qualified as a Personal Development Coach.

to do to attract abundance. I had the abundance, so what happened? Why did I lose it?

I was so proud of myself. I was all prepared to go out there and help all the people that I would meet, even if they wanted it or not.

It took me 2 years to recover from the huge depression I fell into. I felt unworthy of all that I had. My mind was feeding me the lie that the Universe took everything from me because I didn’t deserve it.

I set up a website and I started talking to people. I was determined to become a Confidence Coach, working from home.

I started a long process of selfhealing through coaching and counselling techniques all through the last 4 years.

Being a single mum, that was my ultimate dream: to stay at home, raise my boy and have money for everything I ever wanted.

Although I was a waitress at the moment, I took the opportunity to talk to the clients coming to the restaurant.

In hindsight, I believe I was the worst waitress but the kindest conversationalist.

People didn’t get upset when I was telling them about the Law of attraction and how to become more happy and confident, and my boss didn’t fire me for disturbing the clients with my personal interests.

The world was at my feet and I was thinking “This shit really works! LOA really works, Goal setting really works, overcoming limiting beliefs really works.” I enrolled for a counselling course because I wanted to help even more people, and coaching alone was not sufficient for me.

Then, it hit me!

Slowly but surely, I built up a customer base with whom I met at the local library or on skype, in my free (limited) time. The online world was alien to me at the time.

A silly incident, an encounter with a dog, and lots of vaccinations made me depressed and for a few months even suicidal, due to severe side effects that the vaccinations had on me.

It took me 2 years to make a living entirely from coaching and in 2014 I resigned from my job as a waitress.

I was over the moon! The dream of working from home finally came true. The Law of Attraction worked!

I attracted the paying clients, workshops, programs to give me the funds to work from home.

In a matter of 2 months, I lost everything and I went back waitressing. I could work in a job but not in my business. I couldn’t help my coaching clients anymore.

38 | OneTribeMagazine.com

I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why this happened. I was doing everything that I was supposed

2018 found me stronger, clearer and determined to get my life back, my business back, my worthiness back. I qualified as a Therapeutic Counsellor too. I decided who I want to serve and How I want to serve, got my shit together and launched my online coaching business.

The lessons learnt in the last 5 years: • Working with the Law of Attraction

can bring a lot of Self-Awareness and Responsibility that you cannot reverse once you got it started.

• Be careful what you ask for. I asked

to become a better person. I had to go through depression and anxiety to sort out my shit and become that better person that I dreamt of becoming.

• Be careful what words you use.

I used to say “Through your own experience you can truly understand and help other people”. As a counsellor, you work with depression and mental health on a regular basis. I had to experience it myself so that could stay true to my belief and truly understand and help my clients.

• No matter what title you have in life

(Waitress, Life Coach, Counsellor, Therapist, President, Mayor, Consultant, Cleaner, you name it!) you are in a continuous change.

Whether you like it or not. Whether you know it or not. You are.

• You cannot fix your clients. You can

only fix yourself. You always start with YOU first.

“

YOU ARE UNIQUE. Never forget this when you fall into the comparisonitis and imposter syndromes. Nobody can offer exactly the same thing as you.

– Adina Oltean

• Crying in bed will not move your

business forward nor will it bring paying clients. So you better get up, wash your face, smile at yourself in the mirror, roll up your sleeves and work the hardest you’ve ever worked in your life. You do it for YOURSELF! • We all go through depression at

least once in this lifetime. Whether you recognize it or not, it’s up to you!

• No matter where you are at in your

life RIGHT NOW is the best moment to take action and improve it.

• The biggest asset in your life

and business is YOU. Never stop improving and challenging yourself.

Your MENTAL GAME decides your success.

• YOU ARE UNIQUE. Never

forget this when you fall into the comparisonitis and imposter syndromes. Nobody can offer exactly the same thing as you.

Now, I’m successfully running my coaching and counselling business, helping people who have no list, no tribe, no service, no clients, to start up their online service-based business through my “First Steps To Launch In 12 Weeks” program.

I am wishing you all exponential success,

Keep up to date with Adina at: Facebook:

OneTribeMagazine.com | 39

Allow your cork to rise for your abundance to flow.

Vanessa Louise Moore | Transformational Mentor & Speaker.

40 | OneTribeMagazine.com

“The basis of your life is absolute freedom, the goal is Joy, and the result of that perfect combination is moving forward or growth.

Your goal is to find objects of attention that let your cork rise” - Abraham Hicks One of the most commonly asked questions I am asked in my energy transformation work is ‘How do I get to a place that will attract my desires to me?’

I have daily conversations with friends and clients around their frustration at not being able to attract what they want, be it money, clients, a partner, their ideal body shape or simply happier times.

Their frustration comes from ‘trying’ hard in looking after themselves with affirmations, positive thoughts, meditation and such like when the one thing that’s necessary to align them with the state of allowing is overlooked.

The state of allowing is our natural state.

As human beings, our natural vibration is the high vibration of LOVE. This loving vibration automatically aligns us with all we have ever dreamed of being or experiencing in our lifetime. So where is that abundance? Why does my life not look or feel like I dream about?

Imagine your vibration is symbolised by a cork. Now picture a cork being held down underwater ~ that is what you are doing to yourself that prevents your abundance from flowing freely to you.

Now picture letting go of the cork and you will see it effortlessly rise.

I do love this analogy as it accurately demonstrates how we as humans get in our own way and lower our vibration in many ways.

The most common ways we lower our vibration include: • Fear of survival and worry about the future.

• Shame about our past or holding onto the past in some way.

• Limiting or false beliefs like scarcity, powerlessness or victimhood.

• Criticism or judgement of others and/ or self.

• Feelings of unworthinessNegative thinking

• Not trusting yourself or the Universe.

• With the most common way to lower our vibration is by focusing on what we DO NOT want, consciously or unconsciously and imagining negative outcomes. All of this actively holds our cork underwater causing resistance and pain in ourselves and our lives and blocking all the abundance we deserve and is our Divine right to experience.

I think it is fair to say that however, we are creating these blocks to our abundance, we are likely to be feeling pretty rubbish and like we are swimming upstream. This in time affects our health and our lives feel like hard work.

Our inner being only knows LOVE, so when we are in alignment with our inner being we feel good. When we are disconnected from our inner being, we feel bad.

So the million dollar question “How do I get to a place that will attract my desires to me?”

“Your emotions are your feedback to the relationship you have with your~self “ – Abraham Hicks

Let go of your cork!... HOW?

The ability to be aware of, listen to, control and use your emotions and feelings to guide you through your life is a skill well worth mastering.

• Focus on what you DO WANT and imagine positive outcomes for yourself and your life.

• Develop an attitude of anticipation and excitement about your future • Let go of past, old and suppressed feelings that don’t serve you going forward • Recognise and believe you are more powerful than you think and abundance is your birthright • Learn to see the beauty in others and yourself • Practice daily gratitude. This is a powerful exercise to adopt • Know that adopting small shifts in how you see the world and how you respond to what occurs in your life you will begin to trust yourself and the Universe more and more Primarily, listening to our emotions and how we feel will always guide us in the right direction while our ability to choose a better feeling thought will keep us in the state of allowing.

This is the ultimate self~love.

As a result of not being taught Emotional intelligence in our younger years, we find ourselves as adults deep in the contrast of life wondering why we live amongst too much pain, struggle and violence.

So now we know that focusing on what we DO WANT and imagining positive outcomes for ourselves and our lives is the first step to aligning ourselves with our inner being to allow our abundance to flow to us. Supporting ourselves with gratitude and practising the art of feeling good will only strengthen our resolve as we navigate ourselves through the changes and transformations that our lives will now bring.

Keep up to date with Vanessa at: www.trustvanessa.com

OneTribeMagazine.com | 41

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Saviour or

Collaborator Dawn Bates | International bestselling author, coach and speaker.

When we look at the challenges we face in life, are we empowered or disempowered when someone saves us? As young children we are told that women are damsels in distress and men are here to save us, but in today’s world, it is often our men who are being saved by the women, being retired by their wives, and emasculation is on the increase (as is the dangerous man hating sub-culture that is gaining traction within the feminist movement).

Regardless of who we are, male or female, we will at some point in our lives act out one of these roles predominantly.

As mothers wae want to save our kids from the world, and themselves; some fathers want to save the kids from the overbearing, over protective mother. He sometimes wants to save himself from her too!

We consciously collaborate together as partnerships in relationships, in business and in our social groups; but what about the unconscious thoughts and actions?

How are we truly showing up?

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about my books and this topic of conversation came up. She told me in no uncertain terms was she ever going to buy my books as she already knew the story.

When I asked her if she would lend me £50, her response was “Of course!”.

When I replied “Well save yourself £20 and go by my books, I’ll only get a few quid out of it, but you’ll get to know me in ways you have no idea about, and you’ll learn how to deal with some of the stuff you are dealing with at the moment”.

She was stumped. She wanted to snap back and stand her ground; but what I was saying was sinking in. She was happy to be the saviour in a situation when it came to handing out cash, but she wasn’t willing to collaborate with me when it came to helping us both grow.

A very simple example, and yet a powerful one.

Being a saviour plays out in many ways.

Just think of all those who entertain the drama and doom pity parties, but do not stand in a place of saying “OK, so what are you going to do about it? I’ve heard what you have said, now what are you going to do? How can I work with you to solve this?”

Listening to friends is one thing, allowing them to feel sorry for themselves is quite another. Listening to other people’s drama is also a way of us avoiding our own dramas, a simple yet rather effective distraction technique.

In business we see many people struggling to get their businesses off the ground. They want the support of friends and family to help them, which in a lot of cases just doesn’t happen. They say they want support, but in actually fact in many cases they want saving from the loneliness, the fear of not making money, saving from the tech problems or the rejection of the dreaded ‘No!” on a sales call. They are afraid of collaboration due to the fear of competition, where in actual fact they would be in a much stronger position internally and externally.

Not all collaborations work out, not all are meant to; but when we come from a place of needing to be saved, we attract the saviours. When we are in a place of power and abundance we attract those who will lift us up and who in return we can lift up. When our visions and values are in alignment then we may have just hit upon a truly magical collaboration.

We have been raised with hero stories and hero worship, and the latest saviour bringing our two worlds together is the incredibly strong and humble Aquaman.

Women are eager to take their young boys for a bit of eye candy, wishing to be wrapped up in the arms of this strong warrior whilst many husbands and partners are left feeling a little more than inadequate knowing their efforts to provide will never match up to the impossible hero worship their beloved is rushing out the door to see.

Mental health among our teenage boys and men is on the increase, and something needs to be done about it.

There has never been a more important time to collaborate together. To empower ourselves, as well as one another, lifting each other up is the only way we are going to overcome all the darkness in the world. Saving ourselves from ourselves is important, but collaborating together, more so.

Keep up to date with Dawn at: www.dawnbates.com

Zig Ziglar said “You can have everything in life you want, if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want” a great reminder of how powerful collaboration can be.

OneTribeMagazine.com | 43

Luck or Divine Appointment?

Christine Saunders | Empowerment Coach at Wholehearted Life.

Jonathan Darling | Speaker at Engage The Heart Leadership.

Christine: Imagine your life today without a friend, a spouse, or even an experience that has made your life better.

dude. We have so much in common and are in the same path in life. We were meant to meet.

If you think back to the very moment you have met one of these people, what memory do you have of the first words, look, or even post on social media?

Now I had never in a million years thought to myself “Let’s meet a stranger in a coffee shop, let alone someone from Facebook!” I mean, I just connected with him two days prior. What was I thinking?

on and watched. Christine Saunders.

She was so engaged and for some reason, after the live, I felt like I had to reach out to her. So I messaged her on facebook and we struck up a conversation. It was like we had known each other for years….. and that’s when it happened.

We kept chatting about our common journey and with the excitement and maybe a little nerves, I drove to the coffee shop, pulled in and practiacally sprinted across Starbucks to hug this “stranger”

I had explained that I was going to be traveling to Denver. Christine explained how she was in the Denver area, Longmont, and that if I had time, we should meet for coffee.

We had a great conversation, talked about every topic and my husband even came by. They also talked and connected. All in all, it was a beautiful couple hours in time.

I was completely freaked out! I was heading to Longmont the next day!

The choice in our lives, are they solely ours or are they the work of a more powerful energy?

Thi is a story of two friends connecting in a way neither has ever imagined.

It all happened so quick… one moment watching a facebook live and literally, 2 days later, driving to the local coffee shop to meet this man Jonathan Darling.

I had connected with people 100’s of time on social media but not like this.

We struck up a conversation that went something like this.

Me: Cool you got to go to Austin and meet the group from Depression2Extinction.

Jonathan: I know! I just happen to be able to stay overnight on my way to Denver.

Me: That’s way cool. I’m close to Denver. Im in Longmont. If you have time, we should meet for coffee.

Jonathan: I should have time and I’m coming to Longmont tomorrow for a meeting.

Me: No Way! In my mind, I’m like “What? This is meant to be” I was so excited to meet this cool

44 | OneTribeMagazine.com

And to this day, we are super close friends who support, collaborate and truly love one another. So I ask…. Luck or divine appointment?

In my opinion, a little bit of both! I had a choice and I chose to recognize and act on an opportunity that the universe presented to me! So yes, ultimately divine appointment.

Jonathan: It was my first time doing a facebook live for anyone other than my connections. Ryan Hartley, from Always Better Than Yesterday had asked me to do a Mentorship live for his facebook group on Leadership. I was so nervous!

Not only was this a group of my peers, but this was for mostly people in the UK. As I started the live, one person jumped

Now I have never met a random person from facebook, but this seemed different.

It was almost as like everything was lining up and we were supposed to meet.

Despite my internal hesitancy, I decided to meet her.

2 days later, I was sitting in a coffee shop in Longmont, CO waiting for this stranger to arrive. I was nervous and excited at the same time. She walked in and we immediately hugged and our friendship was sealed.

We talked for hours about life, our journeys and our hope to inspire the world to connect more, love more and follow their hearts. I was lucky enough to meet her husband John, and learn more about how these two amazing people have navigated over 20 years of marriage, and to my view, are still head over heels for each other.

As we left and went our separate ways, we smiled and knew that a meaningful friendship was just created. Since that day, we have laughed, cried and yelled with each other. We have lifted each other up when we were upset, and jumped with excited together for the amazing opportunities that keep presenting themselves. It’s truly been amazing growing in friendship with this special person.

As I reflect back on this story, and try to wrap my brain around this chance encounter, I remember the quote by Barbara Sher, “The amount of good luck coming your way depends on your willingness to act.” I don’t believe in luck. I believe in showing up everyday, and being consistent. When you do that, good things happen. Christine and I decided to show up that day, and we decided to have the courage to use social media the way it should be used, to truly connect with another human, and see how you can do life with them.

No….. this wasn’t luck. This was definitely a Divine Appointment.

Keep up to date with Christine on: Facebook and John on instagram

OneTribeMagazine.com | 45

What if today you chose what’s best for you?

Samantha Caroline Lavallée | Writer & Lover of all things soul at Beautiful Disaster.

What if today you chose what’s best for you?

I don’t mean the best in material things, as that novelty will wear thin before the days end.

I mean something truly meaningful to you, one that feels fulfilling to you, right from the depths of your yearning heart to belong right down to the soles of your feet that are longing to walk free, unchained of any hold to be anything other than who you are.

What if today, you chose YOU? All of YOU. Accepting to allow all versions of yourself to be at ease with the fullness of who you are.

Nothing to change.

Everything to chance.

Seriously, to responsibly take a chance on you, by challenging yourself to summon the courage to surrender to totally choosing all of you to be accepted by self for self through self...

You don’t have to like all parts of you.

None of us ever really do. Honest.

And what if I told you that’s normal... and most likely is one of the very best kept quiet secret affairs we are all having with ourselves...

How does that make you feel?

It’s okay, no, it’s important to be honest with yourself.

No judgment.

No expectations.

Just let yourself become the 46 | OneTribeMagazine.com

observer of your full self, observing and witnessing the real-time version of your real self, uncensored. All of you in your soulful-humanness without a critical eye, but rather with a welcoming appreciative gaze that sees the greatness like the messiness that lives within all of us...

It’s a beautiful disaster, I assure you.

There is no need to hide and mock.

There is no need to pretend or be held in pretence that all is perfect, as it never ever is, and, it never ever will be.

Accept imperfections all liberating truth.

Be free of the perfect lies.

We find our impeccable nature in allowing ourselves to grace the space for our imperfections to breathe with ease and to be seen in its wholesome madness that is a maddening beautiful mosaic of shattered glass that lets light shine in and reflect out. What a beautiful mosaic of Art you are my friend!

We are met with the extraordinary within self when we cherish the ordinary of our nature, it’s not boring, rather what a stunningly fascinating mesmerizing eclectic brilliance you are my love!

We understand the profoundness of our being when we move beneath the surface layers to taste the bitterness of our vulnerabilities depth-filed sweet delicious aliveness.

We move pass conditional loving and living when we choose to open our

hearts and minds to be in a state of allowing.

Consciously creating a willingness of our own volition, one that is choosing to embrace the unconditionality of our very nature.

Which in turn, dissolves the barriers of limitations that are merely imposing, and nothing naturally innate to our true state of being, We eradicate the not enoughness and illusions of unworthiness as we surrender to the ampleness of the fullness of ones wholesome self that is inherently worthy...for if not, life would not be experienced in the light of you, by you, as you, through you.

What if for today, you chose you.

Just for today.

Start there.

Life transforms when you begin to choose what’s best for you.

If you desire for your outer reality to change, then you must be willing to shift your inner world.

You are meant for greatness as you are greatness personified my loves.

Love and more love darling precious souls, Samantha Caroline Lavallée Beautiful Disaster©

To receive weekly inspirational reminders and heartfelt reflections straight to your inbox from Samantha’s heart to yours SUBSCRIBE HERE

“

We eradicate the not enoughness and illusions of unworthiness as we surrender to the ampleness of the fullness of ones wholesome self that is inherently worthy.

– Samantha Caroline Lavallée

OneTribeMagazine.com | 47

Celebrating our

UNIQUENESS Lyn Halvorsen l Creative writer and blogger.

Most parts of the country will have had some snowfalls by the time you read this. Last week, from the cosy warmth of my living room, I starred out of my window and watched the fat, fluffy snowflakes drifting silently downwards, and I got to thinking about snow, and the beauty and individuality of every single snowflake.

‘In ice crystals, water molecules line up and form a six-sided shape called a hexagon. This is why all snowflakes are six-sided ... Even though two snowflakes may form in the same cloud, their different journeys to the ground will affect their shape and size, giving each snowflake its own unique identity.’ – Taken from Wonderopolis.org Scientists estimate that the chances of two snowflakes being exactly alike are about 1 in 1 million trillion (that’s a 1 followed by 18 zeros).

Meteorologists think that there are 1 trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion different types of snowflakes. Imagine that!

I think we can liken ourselves to snowflakes. Ok, we are not pretty little icy snowflakes but we are just as unique. If you examine two human fingerprints - again no two are the same. How is that possible in a world of billions of people? It is awe-inspiring to think that we are all completely individual.

I love the above quote from Wonderopolis when it talks about the snowflakes being formed in the same clouds but taking different journeys to the ground. Every one of us has 48 | OneTribeMagazine.com

a journey too and we all live through countless different experiences and ups and downs, loves, losses, failures and winning situations. Each experience we encounter shapes us to some degree and makes us the people we are. An individual like no other.

What does it mean to be individual?

Being an individual takes work and dedication yet if only we would stop and think about it we would remember just how individual we really are. Being an individual doesn’t necessarily mean you have to stand out in a crowd but being a true individual means having the courage of your convictions and not being afraid to veer off the beaten path.

Do you find yourself caring about what others think about you? It may be time to put aside those worries. If you obsess over what other people

think then you will never to be able to please yourself; remember, it is impossible to please everyone.

Gossip may hurt us. We all have times when we get hurt, but if you hear something said about you that you don’t like, remind yourself that it is likely to have come from an insecure person who is coming from a place of weakness. Everyone gets knocked - even film stars or famous singers you may admire. No one is immune.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself.

‘Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is youer than you!’ – Dr Seuss As obvious as it sounds, being an individual means just being you. Not needing to present a front to people.

If you show the quirky side of your personality to people they will warm

to you. You have no need to present a perfect facade to the world. People are attracted to someone who is a bit different. And most people are understanding. Try opening up and being honest when you are ever in an anxious situation; admit to someone when you are out of your comfort zone and many times you will be met with sympathy. Often too, people will admit to feeling the same in similar situations. Of course, there are times when it may make sense to conform a little - you would probably present yourself differently to your boss at work than you would to someone at a drinks party. But still, apart from avoiding topics that may be sensitive, it’s good to be yourself and show yourself to be the interesting person you are.

At the same time do not force yourself to be different. Wear what suits you but don’t feel you have to wear super trendy clothes if that’s not your style. Be comfortable with your style. We all know that feeling when you go out wearing something you are not happy with - you can feel out of place all day. You cannot make something right if it doesn’t suit you.

If getting a tattoo or changing your hair isn’t for you it doesn’t matter.

Being an individual comes from inside.

I was brought up to be modest and not to boast about my achievements. Of course, no one is drawn to someone who is too ‘full of themselves’ but at the same time, if you have accomplished something you are proud of, don’t be afraid to mention it. Your skills are part of the person you are.

Build up your confidence.

It took me years to become a confident person. An upbringing where it was important to ‘know our place’ and look up to those deemed to be better than us took years to shrug off. Even now I sometimes find I feel inferior in certain situations.

Then I remind myself what a ridiculous and counter-productive

feeling that is. I have just as much right to be here and voice my opinion as the next person.

A great help in building confidence comes from spending time with the right kind of people. Those who make you feel good about yourself.

Also, remembering to use confident body language really helps. Standing upright and looking people in the eye and engaging with them really puts you forward in the best way.

If you are thinking of things in your life you want to change and want to enhance your individuality, perhaps it is the time to think about exploring your creative side or accepting new challenges, or spending time with people you admire. Surrounding yourself with independent thinkers is a great way to start looking at life differently and finding inspiration.

Being comfortable in your own skin.

People who are true individuals just aren’t bothered about what people think about them; they just go through life being happy and comfortable. And if you look comfortable and happy with what you are doing, you are well on your way to gaining the respect you deserve.

So, just like the beautiful snowflake, know that there is literally no one else like you in the whole wide world.

Think about this. You don’t have to work at trying to be different, you already are different! No one else has had the same upbringing as you, has the same looks, has had all the same experiences as you or has entirely the same values. No one else sees the world exactly as you do. You can be proud of that fact!

Being authentic This is something I have had to work on. To be an individual you have to be authentic. You have to say what you feel is right and not what others want you to say. People can spot insincerity a mile off. Being authentic becomes easier the more you try

to achieve it. It makes you feel so much better about yourself and the path you are trying to follow in life when you say what you really mean and you stand up for what is really important to you.

Be positive Be positive whenever you can.

Your individual cells will respond far better to good thoughts and feelings from inside you; bad thoughts and bad news from the outside will have a negative effect. We are all bombarded with ‘stuff’ from the media, both good and bad 24/7.

Learn to know when to turn off. Turn off and turn away. Yes, there are times when we need to be informed but there are also times when we need to say to ourselves that the world can turn without us worrying about it for a day.

Life can be hard at times. We know that. But whatever life throws at you, remember to be like that beautiful, individual snowflake when it makes its own particular journey to the ground - remember to land up in just the place you want to be. Be your own individual self.

‘Though an ordinary woman, nothing about me is plain; Like a single fingerprint traced in the dust, no other is the same.’ – Lyn Halvorsen

Keep up to date with Lyn at: www.lynhalvorsen.com

OneTribeMagazine.com | 49

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Living POSITIVELY Growing Up in one of the rural areas of Zambia Africa. Winnie Mabena was born with the odds set against her. Born into a culture where the society doesn’t see the value in a girls life seemed unbearable.

Determined to defy the odds she was born into Winnie begins the journey determined to succeed. Suddenly her life takes a drastic near death turn. Life as she knew it would never be the same.

Will Winnie choose to thrive once more or will it be too much to bare and easier to choose death?

by

Winnie Mabena

Winnie Mabena is an International Speaker, Author, Trainer, Civil registrar and Founder of The Knowledge Effect, a nonprofit company that is working to empower communities by promoting literacy.

Winnie is currently serving as Board Chairperson for Young Women in Action and for nearly three years she volunteered with Plan as a National Representative for the Youth Advisory Panel for Plan International Zambia. She has participated in various local and international consultation processes especially on ending child marriage and promoting girls rights.

Her tenacity to improve lives is unrelenting thus she uses her life experience so far “ her journey as a girl and living positively” to empower and transform young women like her with knowledge on various issues including promoting education, Surviving HIV/AIDS, ending child marriage, mentorship, living a rural community, and literacy. Winnie envisions a world where people are fully empowered with knowledge to live above social problems through promoting literacy.

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Her favorite quote goes by Nelly Ray “I know what giving up looks like, I want to see what happens if I don’t give up”. Her dream is to grow into a voice for the voiceless at a global level. To get to her dream Winnie keeps investing in her education and she currently pursuing her professional course in teaching methodology.

She holds a Bachelor of Arts Double Major Degree in Library and Information Science and Public Administration alongside a Diploma in Management Studies from the University of Zambia.

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