One Tribe Magazine – June / July 2019 – Issue 21

www.OneTribeMagazine.com

The definitive style magazine for

June/July 2019

MIND

BODY

and

21

SOUL

Join the world’s most inspirational creative writers living their lives in technicolour.

Wherever YOU are in the world, this is YOUR TRIBE, we together we are ONE TRIBE. How To Become A Courageous Person That Follows Your Heart Christine Schlonski Words Can Uplift Or Cut Deeper Than Knives Ingrained Into Every Cell Echoing Loudly Through The Soul Juliette Wells The “Yous” Within You – How To Achieve Any Goal And Not Get In Your Way Robert Landau The Positivity In Thinking Positive Kati Israel Beached (A Story For The New Era) Burt Kempner Inspiration Is... Samantha Caroline Lavallée What If Jonathan Darling Limit The Input Nina Sadlowsky Challenge Your Own Pain Winnie Mabena Breaking The Comfort Of Conformity Andrew Gregory Just Know That You You Are Enough Sabrina Ben Salmi Unconditional Love Christine Saunders When You Are Willing To Feel It, You Can Heal It Vanessa Louise Birt Tapping Into Energies Dawn Bates Be Aware Of Your Mind Or It Will Keep You Safe Isabel Tremblay Looking Myself In The Eye Jonas Goldt There Is No Such Thing As Failure... Only Lessons Jenaya Huxter Unconscious Addiction Ani Manukyan Being A First Responder, One Tribe & Other Stuff Andy Ferguson Clearing And Healing Your Inner Wounding Is Your Soul’s Purpose Abby Wynne Healing Connections With Mother Charmaine Barber Emotional Alchemy Saroj Dubeyl My Story Ingrid Meijerink Self-Image James Roberts

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The level of my happiness, fulfillment and personal freedom has grown so much in the last couple of years that I can’t believe it myself sometimes and there is so much more on my adventure list. e4

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– Christine Schlonski

Our cover features the amazing Christine Schlonski (above), the Queen of the Sales-Success-Mindset and Host of Heart Sells! Podcast from Berlin, Germany. You can read Chrisine’s inspired article ‘How To Become A Courageous Person That Follows Your Heart’ on page 4.

One Tribe Magazine will transform the way you see yourself and the world around you. So, get ready to LOVE YOUR LIFE, as our creative writers share fresh perspectives, inspiring stories and simple, easy-to-follow steps that will help you find a happy, rewarding and fulfulled life. We would like to thank our fabulous creative writers for their amazing insights and you, our wonderful readers for your continued support over these 20 issues. Have a fabulous month and remember to share the love and live your life in glorious technicolour. – Kenny Ball (Editor and Creative Director) (Please note our writers are from all over the globe where there are variations in English dialect, to preserve authenticity we have retained these variations throughout the magazine). Photos and text are Copyright to the respective authors and OTM. © 2019 One Tribe Magazine | OneTribeMagazine.com | OneTribe.Media

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Contents One Soul Tribe

Love

World

Self

How To Become A Courageous Person That Follows Your Heart Christine Schlonski | 04 Words Can Uplift Or Cut Deeper Than Knives Ingrained Into Every Cell Echoing Loudly Through The Soul Juliette Wells | 08 The “Yous” Within You – How to achieve any goal and not get in your way Robert Landau | 10 The Positivity In Thinking Positive Kati Israel | 12 Beached (A Story For The New Era) Burt Kempner | 15 Inspiration is...

Samantha Caroline Lavallée | 16 What if Jonathan Darling | 18 Limit the Input Nina Sadlowsky | 20 Challenge Your Own Pain Winnie Mabena | 22 Breaking the Comfort of Conformity Andrew Gregory | 24 Just Know That You You Are Enough Sabrina Ben Salmi | 26 Unconditional Love Christine Saunders | 30 When You Are Willing To Feel It, You Can Heal It Vanessa Louise Birt | 31 Tapping Into Energies Dawn Bates | 32 Be Aware Of Your Mind Or It Will Keep You Safe Isabel Tremblay | 34 Looking Myself In The Eye Jonas Goldt | 36 There is no such thing as failure... Only Lessons Jenaya Huxter | 38 Unconscious Addiction Ani Manukyan | 40 Being a First Responder, One Tribe & Other Stuff Andy Ferguson | 42 Clearing And Healing Your Inner Wounding Is Your Soul’s Purpose Abby Wynne | 44 Healing Connections With Mother Charmaine Barber | 48 Emotional Alchemy Saroj Dubeyl | 50 My Story Ingrid Meijerink | 52 Self-Image James Roberts | 54

Find your HAPPY! MA GAZINE

Subscribe TODAY OneTribeMagazine.com | 3

How To Become A Courageous Person That Follows Your

Heart

Christine Schlonski The Queen of the Sales-Success-Mindset, is a multi-talented leader in the field of Sales-Success-Mindset, Motivation, and Strategies.

It has been a year now that I was invited as a speaker on the stage of the self-made millionaire Lisa Sasevich. Her company The Invisible Close has been honored in the Inc. 500 and named one of Inc. Magazine’s fastest-growing privately held companies two years in a row.

Can you pinch me, please?

How did I get there?

How did I receive the invitation out of thousands of people who have taken her programs?

How did I get to go from Berlin in Germany to Fort Lauderdale, FL the United States to be one of the two inspirational speakers on her stage talking to 400 attendees with the other speaker being an Emmy Award winner?

Am I still dreaming?

Well, it all started with a question that came to my mind. I was sitting at my desk observing my team as their Sales Director for high-ticket event sales over the phone cold calling CEO’s, Managing Directors, Company Owners to sell them an event at an investment of a middle class car.

I had come far! I had done what I was told. Be a good kid, get good grades, go to college, get a good job, work hard and advance on the carrier ladder. Does that sounds familiar to you?

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I listened and I did what I thought was best. Climbing the ladder, from Sales Executive to Sales Director in only 7 years with 7 rungs to take. I was fast and hardworking and yet…

I was sitting at my desk after another meeting with my new boss. Another meeting that did not make sense to me that drained me and frustrated me.

How long was I going to do that?

Was this all there is? What this my life? Was I supposed to be there until I was going to retire?

Asking myself, I could hear myself scream! Deep inside I screamed FREEDOM! I desired Freedom! Freedom to make my own decisions. Freedom to handle my own schedule. Freedom to make my own money and to not make millions in revenue for someone else and only getting a fraction of what I closed.

Freedom to serve at a higher level, Freedom to be more creative, Freedom to create my own rules….

Freedom! The word kept coming back, and back and back. The question “Is that all there is?” came back with always an immediate answer: HELL - NO! There is more.

Deep down I felt I had to change. I had to take different actions to get different results but I was scared and did not know how.

Could I just walk away?

Could I walk away from my team, my clients, not to mention the great paycheck that I had worked for so hard for with lasting in the job over a decade where others only lasted a year or two?

“

I was taking the leap of faith knowing that I had to become the client I wanted to attract. – Christine Schlonski

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Could I?

it all and to give back at the same time.

The little courageous voice in my head started to whisper: There is no could darling! This is a MUST. You only have this one life. If you do not live it now, when?

When will you live a life that fulfills you, that gives you the freedom to travel, the freedom to create, the freedom to handle your own schedule on your own terms, the freedom to grow and learn?

So the little voice and I made a deal.

I was going out to find a way and to be myself and to help others.

How? Well, I had no idea at that point.

However, I knew if others found ways, I could find a way too.

So I searched the internet, I learned everything I could, I read one book after the next about self-development, business, entrepreneurship and I started to invest in myself. I started to ask for help, which I had never really done before.

I learned online and took one course after the other, I became obsessed but I was still clueless of how to make it all happen. How to escape the “rat race” I was in and how to create Freedom for myself while adding value to others. Who was I anyway...

Then the universe stepped in. With two of my online courses, I received a bonus ticket for two live events.

One event in San Diego and one event in Las Vegas. Both events were only 2 weeks apart. I decided that this was it!

Therefore, I attended the events and learn from highly successful entrepreneurs like Amy Porterfield, John Lee Dumas, Lisa Sasevich.

At the end of my travels, I had invested the biggest dollar amount into myself that I had ever invested in my whole life. I had said yes to myself on a scale that made me dizzy. I had not only emptied my bank accounts but also stretched my credit card. I never felt so 6 | OneTribeMagazine.com

uncomfortable and excited in my whole life all at once.

Now I had to make it happen. I did burn the bridges behind me and I was taking the leap of faith knowing that I had to become the client I wanted to attract.

I did the work, figured out what my gifts were, figured out my ideal client, a heart-centered, driven entrepreneur who was afraid of selling, of asking for money and was ready to take action, to serve more and invest into herself to learn how to sell with ease, grace, confidence while being authentic and true to their values.

Yes, my soul-mate client made sense to me. I was so excited to serve her and I was on fire!

All of a sudden, I knew that I had a purpose. I felt that my knowledge was needed. I knew that all the long hours of cold calling, of receiving no’s, of people laughing at me when I made my offer or slamming down the phone had a new meaning because now I could help those people who wanted to make the world a better place but got stuck on the revenue-generating side because they did not know how to sell from their hearts. And because they got stuck they were not showing up as they could be showing up and creating a life and business of their dreams by following their hearts and actually having the money to pay for

In only two short years when I truly followed my heart I created a sustainable business, I let go of my good 6-figure job, I traveled the world, create value and each day when I look into the mirror I know, I just know I am on the right path and I am following my heart. I do what I love and I will keep growing and listening to that little voice inside of me because she knows. She knows what is best for me even though nobody else might understand. I know she will take good care of me.

She has gotten me on the stage at the prestigious live event of Lisa Sasevich because she has helped me to create massive results and to inspire others to do the same. The little voice has supported me in the last two years to travel to the US, to London in the UK, to Amsterdam in the Netherlands, to Paris in France, and to several places in Germany.

Also it supported me to go for my dreams like taken a helicopter ride into the Grand Canyon, jumping out of an airplane, meditation in a vortex in Sedona, AZ, sitting on Devils Bridge, spending time with my loved ones, starting a podcast and creating online summits while running an laptop lifestyle business...

All of this was just a dream, an inspiration, something I read about or had seen a picture on Instagram or Facebook and all of a sudden I went for it and I did it.

The level of my happiness, fulfillment and personal freedom has grown so much in the last couple of years that I can’t believe it myself sometimes and there is so much more on my adventure list.

I hope to inspire you to follow your heart too and to: Stop JUST dreaming. Act NOW!

Keep up to date with Christine at christineschlonski.com

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I do what I love and I will keep growing and listening to that little voice inside of me because she knows. – Christine Schlonski

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Words Can Uplift Or Cut Deeper Than Knives Ingrained Into Every Cell Echoing Loudly Through The Soul.

Juliette Wells | Artist/Art Teacher, Intuitive Artist, Entrepreneur “I WISH I NEVER HAD YOU”

I am here for a reason, we all are, I am fortunate I have healed through creativity which is now my life purpose my art heals many through my story.

“YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT” These words have echoed within my being, festering open wounds constantly revisiting me at my most vulnerable moments.

These words I had taken on and given them meaning playing over and over again subconsciously and in moments of stillness. I used to try anything I could get my hands on to drown them out but they never went away.

These words caused many issues of unworthiness and a feeling of not being good enough throughout my life.

These words have caused separation from myself and others.

These words cut soo deeply and caused soo much pain . . .

These words are what was said to me by my mother as a teenager.

A teenager that just wanted to be loved, accepted & safe.

I have embedded these words into every cell of my body for 29 years.

Crazy right?

My childhood was a very interesting one made up of violence, neglect, unsafe situations and a mother that was absent most of the time.

My mother became a single parent after my stepfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and was sent to a nursing home until he passed away 5 years later at 55 years of age..

Things started to get so messy at home that I would think of ways to get out of coming home.

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After a confrontation I had with my mother at 15, I was hit over the head Numerous times that I ran away from home and stayed with a friend for a couple of weeks. The physical wounds heal but the words stick.

Every negative thought about ourselves, being judgemental of ourselves and others, lack of compassion, lack of self-love, doormat behaviour, and the list goes on. It is instilled in us from a very young age by family history, trauma, generational patterns.

I have so much Gratitude for my mother now. What she actually gave me was a gift! She taught me what it feels like to hurt soo badly and still survive. She allowed me to find my own inner strength which placed me on a path of healing. My relationship was never easy with my mother who now suffers Dementia.

As an adult, I take responsibility for my life and now have the tools I need to heal these deep wounds and grow from it.

LIFE FEELS FANTASTIC!!

I CHOOSE MY WORDS WISELY Don’t get me wrong I still get triggered, but I am able to be grateful for the triggers as it is highlighting issues I need to look at.

As an adult, I began to look at these words that I took on and took ownership of for way too long! They are only words right?

You need to feel to heal.

Physical wounds can be seen but words infuse themselves in your subconscious ready to prove themselves right every time a difficult situation is presented in your life.

I am worth it.

Those words don’t affect me anymore.

Be there for you.

Those words are just words, without the cord attached to anything in my being.

I have given those words back. They don’t belong to me anymore. As an adult, I have rewritten my story.

I don’t suffer anymore.

I am loved.

I am there for me.

You are loved.

You are worth it.

Keep up to date with Juliette on: Facebook

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Physical wounds can be seen but words infuse themselves in your subconscious ready to prove themselves right every time a difficult situation is presented in your life. – Juliette Wells

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YOU The “Yous” Within

How to achieve any goal... and not get in your way.

Robert Landau | Motivational Speaker, Certified Life Coach & Published Author.

We’ve all been there. You set a goal for yourself but somehow along the way, you don’t make it to the finish line. Sadly, there’s no one to blame but yourself. Somehow, you’ve stood in your own way. So with that in mind, consider the possibility that there are two probable selves within you. Let’s call them “Yous”.

The first “you” is the one that is constantly critical and ultimately 10 | OneTribeMagazine.com

keeps you from realizing your truest potential. It’s the “you” that is the self-doubter and the one that tends to create the energy of fear within you from day to day. It’s the one that puts a roadblock in your way and will literally prevent you from achieving your goal. This “you” has endless mind-chatter associated with it and it’s the chatter that ultimately prevents you from getting where you want to be.

Example: You have a big presentation to make next week. Public speaking isn’t the easiest thing you’ve ever had to do but you also realize that it’s an important part of your job. You knew you were going to have to do it when you accepted this position.

The big day has finally arrived.

You’ve spent hours preparing your

talk and the seventy people that you were told would be there, are now sitting there anxiously awaiting for your presentation to begin. All eyes are on you. You can feel their pensive, judgmental stares even before you’ve uttered your first word.

You are now being introduced and already you see people yawning.

Enter the “you” within that we’ve been talking about thus far.

Now the inner chatter begins. “I told you they’d hate you even before you started”, your mind-chatter says.

“Look at that lady in the third row, she’s texting and probably won’t stop during your whole presentation! That guy in the seventh row looks like he totally hates you. You should never do this type of stuff, how the heck are you going to be able to hold the interest of these seventy downers in the audience? Admit it, you’re sunk!”

So now you’ve got a choice. Are you going to buy into the negative inner storm that no one else but you has created? Most of us do. So many will listen and let this little “you” take over. Choosing to buy into your negative mind-chatter will not only ruin your task of communicating, but your future with this company as well.

Enter the real “You”. I’ll differentiate this one with a capitol “Y”. This “you” is the real “You”, the one that bypasses all the judgment and negative stuff and comes straight from the core of your being, straight from your heart. This is the “You” that knows you can do whatever it is that you have set out to do. This is the “You” that is confident and self assured. This is the “You” that if given the chance, can get you where you need to go without any interference along the way.

Remember the commercial that used to air many years ago where you saw a person who had to make a decision and you then saw their little demonic “you” outside their left ear telling them to go the way of negativity and the angelic “You” that lovingly hovered outside their right ear constantly assuring the person to move ahead confidently? Which “you” would you listen to? Even more important, which “you” do you

feel that you can, you most likely will be up to the task and come through with flying colors. Always remember which “You” you really are.

listen to on a daily basis when issues come up?

So now you’re standing there, about to begin your presentation. An uncomfortable hush falls over those that are gathered to hear you. All at once, your two “yous” immediately start to work at wining you over.

Little “you”- Are you kidding me?

You’ll never be able to do this. Don’t kid yourself, you’re doomed. Oh well, you needed to find another job anyway.

Big “You”- Do it…just do it! You got this. I’ll be with you every step of the way. Just think about what it is you want to say. You already have all of it within You, just stay in the present moment. I promise to catch you if you fall. Take the chance, believe in Yourself and do it. You wouldn’t be standing here if you weren’t up to the task. Believe! See yourself as a success already, even before you’ve uttered the first word. You’ll get there…just do it! You have to jump, trusting that there’s water below.

Consider the possibility that you already have what it takes to achieve any goal you wish to undertake. Just get out of your way in the process.

Any time negative mind-chatter comes up, acknowledge it and see it for what it is...just chatter. Are you your mind-chatter or might you be something more?

Chatter doesn’t have to stop you from getting to where you want to be. You are always in control. Just set your course and feel what it would feel like to cross the finish line.

You’ve already won the race, you just have to convince yourself of your victory before you take the first step.

Winning means supporting yourself and effectively dealing with whatever resistance comes up. How you talk to yourself, within yourself, makes a huge difference in goal accomplishment or task defeat.

Understand that the choice is always yours. It takes the same amount of energy to think positively of yourself as it does to think in a negative fashion.

The choice is always yours.

You decide to take the leap and guess what? You’re a major success!

Achieving success in life has everything to do with your mindset even before you’ve begun a task.

Do you believe in your core of cores that you can do it? If you think and

Keep up to date with Robert at: RobertLandauMotivation.com

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Think positive today!

Breathe positive! Only then will good things happen to you – Kati Israel

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Positive THE POSITIVITY IN THINKING

Kati Israel | Global Real Estate Authority, Serial Entrepreneur, International Speaker, Amazon Bestseller author

1. I t is very important for your health

A wise man, Joel Oosten, once said: “Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how long you’re going to live your life.”

If you want to live long and always be healthy, you have to cultivate the habit of thinking positive.

How does life span and positive thinking relate? If you have negative thoughts, it can cause depression, stress, and might even lead you to commit suicide, but thinking positive on the other hand has a great impact on your emotional, mental, and physical health.

Life is not easy, which is indubitable.

You see people occupy a much higher status than you and people that are wealthier than you. You feel out of place and it’s like you carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders because nothing good seems to be happening to you. You work very hard yet the money doesn’t seem to be coming in. you see someone get promoted and you are stuck in that same position you were when you were first employed.

These things are enough to get anybody down, fill you negative thoughts, and even drive you to do acute things – but before you think negative and otherwise, I should tell you – there is positivity in every negativity or negative situation.

You have to learn to look on the bright side of things all the time.

You have to believe that something bigger and better is waiting for you as the light at the end of a tunnel.

You don’t believe me? I will let you know why you should think positive and only then will positive things begin to happen in your life.

The positive mind carries much power and with it, you can do almost anything you put your mind to because it is filled with the determination and will to do it and do it very well. While the negative mind always blames others for its own failures, the positive mind sees the

You can say it has a therapeutic effect on our health in this case called the “domino effect,” which makes you feel happier and more contented with your life, carryout daily activities smoothly and with pure joy as you are more relaxed. opportunity in every situation. Only someone with a positive mind can do a whole lot of positive things. You should stop being pessimistic and use optimism as your watchword.

Being positive is very important and it brings a lot of benefits to every aspect of our lives, be it relationships, career, happiness, health, and even personal goals. You must know that our lives are affected by every single thought and decision we make.

WHY YOU SHOULD BE POSITIVE IN YOUR THINKING As I mentioned earlier, there are a whole lots of good things attached to thinking positive. I may not be able to mention all but I will focus on the key benefits. Some of them are:

Also, thinking positive can indeed cure cardiovascular diseases, for example, stress hormones which damage the mental health are prevented from being released.

Accordingly, if you think positive, you will be less prone to being sick, experience far less stress, and you will always be elated.

2. I t betters your career We live to work and it is through work that we get money. Most works we do are likely to stress us out. We are likely to encounter issues and challenges at our workplaces from colleagues and our bosses. However, if you go to work with a negative attitude, you will be less productive due to that negative thinking seeing your work as a burden.

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If you have low production levels at your workplace, you are most likely to lose your job.

You don’t want that to happen, right? If you don’t, you have to develop a positive attitude to work, as thinking positive helps you produce better results as well as enhance relationships with your colleague and boss.

Your hard work will be noticed and appreciated, and you will be admired for your attitude. You could even infect some people with your positive thinking, and the workplace will be a much better place.

3. It develops and builds relationships If you think positive, you will better your relationship with people, as positive thinking brings with it an aura that is irresistible and attracts people to you. Almost everyone will want to be friends with you and your inspiration levels will be on a high. You will be admired for your attitude of being positive. If you think positive and always put a smile on your face, you can even give hope to those that have no hope, as opposed to when you think of your problems all the time.

Think positive today! Breathe positive! Only then will good things happen to you. Do not let negative thoughts overwhelm you or any bad situation to get you down. You are meant for happiness and for better things. Develop the notion that things will be better and they definitely will. Don’t worry, be happy! A positive mind brings positive results.

Keep up to date with Kati at www.katiisrael.com and Facebook

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BEACHED (A story for the new era)

Burt Kempner | Independent Writer/Producer & Author

The prophetic boy walked along the beach, wreathed in thought, so much so that he almost missed the dark form sprawled on the sand. It was a young pilot whale, breathing heavily.

“Don’t panic, my brother, “ the boy said. “I’ll run back to the village and return with enough people to push you back into the water.”

“No.” a voiced sounded in the boy’s head. “No, let me stay here.”

“But surely you will die.”

“I am sacrificing myself,” the whale said.

“Why?” asked the shaman.

“My people are dying,” said the whale. “Our only salvation lies in becoming land animals again.

Each time the dolphins and we beach ourselves, we get a little farther inland. I’ve gone past where my father got and he outdistanced his own father. Eventually we will walk upon the Earth once more.”

The boy pondered this. He dug into his medicine pouch, extracted a few leaves and chewed them.

Soon he was flying through the spirit world in search of the Master of Swimming Things, whom he found in a watery grotto.

The boy explained the plight of the whales and dolphins. The Master listened intently, then began speaking.

In an instant the traveling youth found himself back in his body on the beach.

“It will take far too many generations for you to become land animals again,” he told the pilot whale.

“The seas are growing poisonous quickly.”

The whale moaned.

“But,” the boy continued, “the Master of Swimming Things says if your people can’t come upon the land, he will send the sea to take its place. One day whales and dolphins will glide through submerged cities and other works of men. You will tell new stories and sing new songs of happiness.”

“But what will happen to you?” the whale asked.

“We will either grow wise or cease.”

The whale pondered the words of the far-seeing youth.

“Perhaps I’ll take you up on your offer to return me to my home then.”

The boy used the hem of his garment to wipe away the animal’s huge tear and ran off to summon his people.

Keep up to date with Burt on: Facebook

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Inspiration is...

Samantha Caroline Lavallée Writer & Lover of all things soul at Beautiful Disaster.

Inspiration is pure potential planted in ones heart and soul.

A grace where all beginnings are made possible, that is of course if we choose to create the space and the place needed to allow these seeds planted the time to grow into fruition with nurturing hands, with tender loving presence and with an open compassionate committed heart...First comes inspiration then came transformation...Read that again my Loves!

Hope transpires within inspiration and it seeps its way into our lives and beckons us to take action.

None too small. None too big. Don’t worry about the how’s. Just begin where you are with what you have and motion forward from there.

Keep Faith. Even if you feel you are slipping back...and remember that sometimes we learn exactly what is needed from the backwards slide in order for us to take the next best necessary step forward.

Leap my darlings!

Grace yourself with the loyalty of patience. A steady consistency will bare its labour of love in ways far more amazing and far more reaching than you can even yet begin to stretch your imagination to imagine.

Trust with gusto. Seriously, go all in! Doubts will rise, yet don’t let your trust sway too far away. Again, remember that it too is the normal to and fro dance as you allow yourself to reunite with your core of confidence with a new presence and dedicated perseverance that is acknowledged as part of the growth equation that is much needed to embrace and evolve naturally which is, inevitably scary, but oh so worthy my loves.

Your appreciation’s momentum is your organic sustainability. It is the foundation upon which you’ll cultivate a healthy resiliency that raises you up as you rise into allowing your inspiration to evolve and grow into transformational wellness, within yourself and with life itself co-creatively through your deeply rooted connection that tends to your wholesome nature. Which is so often found lacking when only grazing the surface with a forced motivation that is never naturally sustainable.

Inspiration lives within your spirit, within you, as it is you, you are your spirit.

Lead in-spirit and you’ll naturally aligned to your natural rhythms that will align you to move from inspiration to transformation, which is your current and currency of an inspired focused forward fulfilling life that is living in alignment to the pulse of your passionate desire to express by giving and receiving all that you desire in and out of life, for life desires this for you too.

Get to it, and become inspired to live, love and lead a transformational magnificent life!

To receive weekly inspirational reminders and heartfelt reflections straight to your inbox from Samantha’s heart to yours SUBSCRIBE HERE

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Jonathan Darling | Speaker: Engage The Heart Leadership.

I love inspirational videos on Facebook and YouTube. Absolutely love them.

Often times, I find myself caught in binge mode watching video after video. I really get into them. Sometimes, even sitting in the airport, I get a little emotional, overwhelmed by the story. Tears begin to form in my eyes and I quickly realize that the people sitting around me are probably wondering why a grown man is weeping and smiling at the same time.

It’s a real problem.

This past weekend, I had one of those episodes. I was scrolling through Facebook and happened across a video.

It was a video of a young boy in karate gee, standing in front of his Sen Sei who was holding a board. The caption on the video read, “My boy learned one of the most important lessons in his life today!

Never... Ever Give Up!” Obviously, I had to watch.

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(This is the link to the video https://youtu. be/PbKeTBf03z4) The video showed the young boy trying to break a board with his foot by doing a downward heel kick. You see him in his stance, at the ready and with a swift move, he raises his foot and strikes the board. Nothing happens. Instantly on his face, you see disappointment. He gets back in his stance and strikes again.

Nothing. Tears start forming in the boy’s eyes (mine too!) and he quickly wipes them away as he gets back into his ready position. Again, his heel comes down on the board, and again, no break. You can hear him say, fighting through the tears, “I can’t do it.” His Sen Sei says confidently, “Yes You Can!” At this point in the video, everyone in the place was focused on the boy. You see people start clapping and cheering in the background. His friends have now

gathered around, slapping the ground in unison, chanting his name, standing in solidarity with the boy. You hear a man’s voice in the background say, “You can do anything!”

(Goosebumps yet? Cause I have them just typing about it!)

With everyone cheering, clapping and slapping the mats, the boy is back in his stance. He raises his heel and slams it to the board. No break…..but…. this one was different. This kick had a renewed sense of purpose behind it. New energy.

Even louder now, the crowd and his compatriots cheered as if knowingly, the incredible was about to happen. One last stance. One last kick.

BAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

CRACKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

The board snaps in half! His friends raise up, and just as if he had hit the gamewinning shot of the NBA Championship,

grabbing him and jumping for joy until they all fall to the ground in a massive dog pile. The boy’s face is one giant smile as he is overwhelmed with joy and accomplishment. It was incredible.

I watched this video over and over. Each time getting more and more emotional.

My heart was so happy for the boy and I felt a sense of pride, almost as if it were my own child. I wanted to be in that dog pile. I wanted to celebrate with them!

I wanted to raise him up and carry him out of the building like they did Rudy!

As I sat there, after watching it a dozen times, a thought kept speaking to me.

Over and over again, I could hear it. A question.

“What if?”

Over and over again I heard it.

“What if” What if we surrounded those who are desperately pursing their dreams, battling intensely for their goals and facing adversity with love, encouragement and enthusiasm? What if we stood beside them, making sure they knew they had our full support and confidence? That we loved them and believed in them. What if our words were of positivity and were the gasoline to turn their spark into a great blaze?

What if we circled around them, chanting their names, slapping the ground in unison, cheering them on when they wanted to give up? What if, when they said they couldn’t do it, we fervently called back, with a passion and fire in our voice, YES YOU CAN! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! What if we lifted others up and held them high when they felt low?

What if, in their darkest time, when things felt overwhelming, we lifted them up and carried them? Hoisting them up on our shoulders so that they could stand a little higher and they could see what we see, the great unlimited potential that they have inside them.

What if, when they finally accomplish their goal, allowing them to live out their dreams, our cheers echoed through the cosmos? What if, in pure joy and excitement for their accomplishments, we rush to them arms wide, embracing them? What if our celebration carried us to the ground, falling together, overwhelmed with joy and jubilation.

You see, it’s easy for us to be overwhelmed with emotion, watching a young boy overcome a challenge. We view a video like this and smile, feeling a little bit better about our day but often miss the most important lesson.

Hidden behind the main character is the most important piece. Now don’t get me wrong, the young boy fighting through adversity is a great lesson, but it’s the background and the secondary characters we must focus on. It’s their actions that can truly help shape our lives and our world! We often miss, that critical to this boy’s success, was the people who were standing beside him, around him and with him, chanting his name. We miss the people who were speaking life into him, encouraging him and loving him through it.

It’s the people who BELIEVED IN HIM, THAT BECAME THE CATALYST FOR HIS OWN SELF BELIEF! There are people, all around us, everyday, who are out there chasing their dreams. They are in a battle, desperately fighting to become who they truly believe they were created to be. They are facing obstacles, challenges and rejection. Every day they face a world that constantly tries to tell them that they aren’t good enough, not talented enough and they’ll never make it. They are told to stop stepping out, stay in their lane and be more practical and realistic. They are judged, looked down on and outcast.

Each moment of failure is emphasized

by the phrase, “I told you so.” Negativity is heaved on them daily and its weight is almost unbearable.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! It’s time we take a stand! It’s time we pull together and cast off our fears! It’s time we become the shoulders on which others can stand. It’s time that we put aside our need for playing it safe and charge headfirst into the battle. It’s time we let those around us know they aren’t alone. It’s time we let them know that we want them to achieve their dreams, their goals and their ambitions just as badly as they do. It’s time we show them how much we believe in them and their unlimited potential for greatness.

Everyone has dreams. Everyone has an idea of who they were created to be. The challenge is that so often, that dream, is on the other side of a giant. This giant towers over us, overshadowing us with the negativity of others, wielding its weapons made of self-doubt and fear.

But this giant, as big and massive as he seems, pales in comparison when those in the fight stand on the shoulders of others who believe in them.

Isn’t it time we gave them a place to stand?

Keep up to date with Jonathan at: Facebook

OneTribeMagazine.com | 19

Limit the Input Nina Sadlowsky | International Results Coach, Yoga Instructor, Essential Oils Lover.

Does this headline sound contradictory to you when it comes to your personal growth? Well, you should read on.

from other people, their feelings, their energies, their current state of being.

Do you really feel what is going on in your world?

Over the past 5 years, I’ve been diving deeper into myself, also referred to as personal development. I reflected not only on myself, my fears and my limitations but also on how these fears and limitations were showing in my relationships, be it with friends, family members and partners.

On this journey – which is an ongoing process – I have learned a lot about myself. I was able to dissolve certain behavioral patterns that were limiting me due to underlying fears. I tuned deeper into my body to let go of tensions that have been building up and manifesting in my body for way too long. I work with coaches both personally and professionally to become the best version of myself. I completed an NLP (neurolinguistic programming) training to improve my communication skills, to dive deeper into self-reflection and to change patterns that didn’t serve me any longer and I had the clear objective to build a life that I really desired to live.

So far so good. I believe that this ongoing journey of self-reflection and self-development is awesome. I really wouldn’t change a thing looking back. It all served its purpose; every single change, every heartbreak, every challenge that I have encountered in my life so far, have been signs of the universe to correct my course; by diving in deeper, by understanding my world and the world of others and by initiating change.

More sensitivity What I have also been observing whilst being on this journey is that I’ve become way more sensitive with all my 20 | OneTribeMagazine.com

More input – more output?

senses. I hear more, I see more, I feel more. I’d even say I smell and taste more.

To really break this down for you, I hear people talking, the bells of the church, sirens, cars, children, water flowing, my steps on the ground, my diffuser running. I hear podcasts, audios and music. I hear myself talking. Do you really hear what is going on in your world?

I see more. My vision has expanded.

I perceive more people in the tube, in cafes, in shops; I also perceive more of what they do. I see the trees moving in the wind, children playing in the streets, people drinking coffee, I see people looking at other people, I observe couples walking hand in hand, I see the sun, the moon and the sky being in movement. Do you really see what is going on in your world?

I feel more. I’ve become way more kinesthetic, I’ve improved my awareness of the position and movement of the parts of my body. I can feel tension way quicker and I do know how to release it faster. I perceive (more) vibes – positive and negative -

My point is that this increased awareness also means that I sometimes must limit the input, as otherwise, it becomes too overwhelming. At a certain point in a certain phase, more input simply doesn’t mean more output. It is essential at this point to limit the input and to focus on processing and digesting all of it. I am only human, as are you, so I finally figured it’s okay to limit my input and to say no more whilst saying yes more to the right things.

How to do this?

By closing my eyes. By spending more time by and with myself. By meditating. My practising yoga. All tools that enable me to dive in deeper, mentally, physically and emotionally.

I have noticed that I need way more me-time and less “together-time”, i.e. time with other people, when in a phase of limiting input. This means that I would socialize more consciously, really checking into it whether I really desire this activity or whether I think I should be doing it. Yes, sometimes it is a phase of withdrawing myself, of being alone, and whilst I’ve had phases where I didn’t understand why I was doing it, I am now fully embracing my need of being alone. And the most beautiful thing is when you’ve reached a point of deep satisfaction and bliss when simply being with yourself.

Not everyone understands my behavior and my withdrawal and my need for alone time, which in return isn’t always easy for me to accept.

Yet, I’ve been learning and growing massively through this process and I have accepted that this is all part of the personal growth journey, that one shouldn’t need to justify or apologize for.

And it’s okay!

I’ve for sure learned that it is okay for me to withdraw myself if it all gets too much. I understand that my increased awareness and self-reflection has led me to being a more sensitive human being called Nina. Whilst in the past I would always socialize, go out, have a coffee here and a dinner there, I now need and desire downtime, quiet time and me-time, too. These two facets allow me a better balance in life and business, more time to process and digest situations, and very important, it allows and creates more space for self-love. I’m freeing myself as much as possible from the opinion of others when it comes to my health, happiness and my wellbeing, because in the process of personal growth, who knows best what does me well?

Exactly.

But, no, it’s not always easy and I also have moments of getting caught up, but you have to do what is right, not what’s easy. You have to do what you desire, not what others do.

Go with what you need and desire!

So now, when I feel the need to socialize, I will. When I feel the need to be alone, I will. When I feel the need to be active, I will. When I feel the need not to talk about certain topics, I won’t. When I feel the need to set boundaries, I will. When I feel the need to speak up, I will. And no, this is never against someone or something, it just means I stay true to my needs and desires and I regularly follow up and through with it.

You can do this, too. Limit your input to design the life you truly desire.

Love, Nina

Keep up to date with Nina at: www.designyourlifeforresults.com or Facebook + Instagram

“

Life is a beautiful playground, a space where we experience the good and bad times, the light and tense moments, love and fear, expansion and throwbacks.

– Nina Sadlowsky

OneTribeMagazine.com | 21

“

No matter how strong you are nobody can carry another person forever thus you need to seek a whole life alone and challenge your own pain alone. – Winnie Mabena

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Challenge Your Own Pain

Winnie Mabena | Author and Founder of The Knowledge Effect Looking back into my life I was so locked in low self-esteem, complaints, sad and anger for the things I could not change.

I wondered how the world would perceive me than to care for self and work on how I perceived myself. I didn’t realise I had the power to get up from the shackles and challenge my pain. My mindset was so fixed to think that I need “an event of help” to happen so I could be liberated from whatever I felt was a challenge.

Since a part of me was paying too much attention to what people said I could do and not do, my focus was to prove people wrong than to prove myself right... Are you doing that? Proving people wrong? Than to prove yourself right?

Quite often we forget ourselves and overlook our strengths as we feel that validation from others is the basis of peace and the basis of freedom from whatever is before us; the challenges.

This leaves us vulnerable to manipulation, doing things in a way the environment we are in demands and forgetting the power within to transform our own world of sad to happiness and positivity.

I didn’t realize a great deal of tragedy comes from within.....but since my within was filthy with dead thoughts and hopelessness. My posture was affected and captured by pain. Did you know that your posture tells a lot about what you are going through? Where you have been and somewhat the state of your life? Broke or broken? Frustrated or angry?

As time went by I was burntout, I could not pretend anymore that all was well for me.

It was not about the events happening in my life it was about how I was reacting to the events. I didn’t know how to shift my mindset from negativity to positivity or to control my thoughts and tune into the best moods while thinking through the very best version of me.

There will always be things happening and so how you respond to events really matters. If we choose to look at an experience as punishment it remains a punishment and if we choose to look at

the event as reality but more of a moment to learn we will gather lessons that led us on a journey to profit from our pain. Thus it’s important to look beneath the surface and see the advantage! That’s what living positively demands.

I kept embracing sad and depression and I kept expecting the worst because I felt I had become used to negativity, I just thought I had come to terms with stress, rejection, stigma and discrimination because of everything I heard people say about my status; being HIV positive, combined with coming from humble background nearly described as being poor. Of course, my self-esteem was pretty ruined. So even when I walked in pure places of acceptance I surrendered my whole, ready to be ridiculed, stigmatized and rejected.

I sat in posture of showing an apology... yes I was saying sorry to myself and apologizing to everyone for being me.

A lot of people in my space didn’t notice that, not because they don’t care but because they were fighting with their own battles. Everyone is on a journey and our focus is the destination and not about who is going in your direction. Everybody wants to “arrive”.

But for those that observed they helped me through the process to own my light and champion who I truly believe I am because they learnt about the power within. The power to challenge their own pain. But these people could not help me to change my posture, I had to learn to sit up on my own. Someone will tell you how to but it’s your job to implement the how.

Thus when I realised everything going on with my posture was wrong I decided to take a bold move and challenge my self to let my pain remain a story and not me. I commanded the power within me into action to take back my space and of course position myself for what I desire and deserve. You can do it!

This made me see that we have different stories but we all share a common goal, and that goal is to believe that this too

shall pass, to know that this is only a phase and it’s meant to shape me and so I will eventually get over it. The challenge is how to get over it and let it remain as a story and not you. This also led me to experience the best of living positively and staying strong to embrace my truth.

Your truth is yours and it’s reality; what you need is not walking past it but learning how to live above life’s challenges and develop a positive mindset.

Gaining back my power also helped to begin to use my story as a mentor, speaker and author to help others especially young women and girls who have walked my path or are prone to it.

I realize that indeed my story is not mine it’s a cure for someone and to realise am never alone. You are not alone either.

Sometimes we beat ourselves too much, feeling so ashamed about our truth, but it’s that truth that saves, it’s that truth that shapes us. Thus I embarked on a journey to find my voice and share my story to empower others. That’s my power.

I understand that they may be someone still struggling to live above pain and so they are waiting and depending on someone to carry them through, it’s okay to have someone stick with you through whatever but.....No matter how strong you are nobody can carry another person forever thus you need to seek a whole life alone and challenge your own pain alone.

You have the power to challenge your own pain. Just get up to your wholeness once more and be bold to change how you react to events and not changing events because events can shape you, mould you and teach you.

Be Positive!

Keep up to date with Winnie at livingpositivelybrand.com and Facebook

OneTribeMagazine.com | 23

Breaking the Comfort of

Conformity Andrew Gregory | Confidence Coach I know I have been there and I am taking that control back.

We as a society are bombarded with the message of what a man and what a woman should be.

I understand the ideology of positive thinking and the law of attraction, and I believe in that too.

We are told over and over again exactly how we should think, feel, behave and act so we can conform to the socially accepted versions of a male and a female.

Yet negative thoughts and feelings are normal, they are going to appear every now and again. It is how we handle these thoughts and feelings that will help us control our fears.

It is easy to become comfortable hiding our true selves within these social stereotypes. In fact, we can take comfort from the fact that we are not rubbing against the grain, that we are not different.

But what is that doing for our own confidence?

To lose the uniqueness of us?

To hide away our true colours?

The fear of being seen as different, to not fit in, to conform to what everyone else expects of us.

I had a good friend of mine who had recently shared a vision he had to me that really is a perfect analogy for this.

He was high above a field, a field full of brightly coloured butterflies. All unique in their colourings.

As he got closer to them he discovered that the butterflies were all tethered down by a piece of thick rope and nailed into the ground, so as much as the butterflies wanted to fly they just couldn’t.

While he watched these butterflies struggle there unique colourings started to fade and then they all started to blend into the same colour.

This is what conformity looks like.

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Losing the beautiful uniqueness of us to blend in and not put our heads above the parapet.

To be fearful of being judged because of what we really feel, what we really think and how we really want to act.

Yet fear is totally normal.

It is our brain’s way of protecting ourselves from danger.

Something that has been instilled in us from our caveman days when we were hunter-gatherers.

It is our flight or fight mechanism.

Our desire to fight for what we believe in or the desire to up and run.

Each is totally natural and normal for everyone so do not judge yourself if you are more inclined to do one than the other.

It doesn’t make you any less of a man or a woman.

My experience has been the extreme state of flight but we can take control and make the fear work for us.

Understanding that our thoughts and feelings, the cause of our fear, are only our opinion and not a true reflection on us. Getting your head around that can open your eyes and really set us free.

Just because you think it doesn’t make it so.

It is about the mindful action that you take that is in alignment with your values and beliefs that is going to help you conquer your fears.

If you know it will serve you fight, if not then its ok to fly.

But I digress, let us get this back on track and discuss conformity.

So what is conformity?

In this case, it is a behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions.

Socially accepted.

So what if the true you is not to be socially accepted and what does socially accepted even look like.

Well usually for men it means that they are strong, do not get bogged down with their feelings, are the breadwinners and to show no emotions.

“

We have to tap into the confidence within us, – Andrew Gregory discover what our values and beliefs are and then take action that aligns to them.

This can have huge implications on our confidence as we do not see value in ourselves as we struggle to fit in with those around us, yet we know we have so much to give if we were just given the space to be free.

So how do we break these shackles?

We have to tap into the confidence within us, discover what our values and beliefs are and then take action that aligns to them.

For women it has been for so long to be the stay at home parent, raising the kids and looking after the home.

I agree that these are fairly basic and a bit outdated but still its seen as rare or unusual still for the man to be the homemaker and the woman the breadwinner.

Caught up on the mindset that if I don’t show who I truly am then I am not going to get any grief. If I don’t stand out I will not attract any unnecessary attention.

But really what is happening is our flight mechanism kicking in to play.

Not that it doesn’t happen, I am just saying it is against the socially accepted conventions.

Our brain has reacted to what it has been exposed to and subconsciously we have summited to these factors to feel we have to be a particular way.

However, this can be extremely restricting in what options are open to all of us.

Now this may work for you and that’s great but if not where does that leave you?

Yet as restricting as conformity is we can find solace within in it.

Not being able to show your true beauty to the world, stifling who you really are, losing yourself to the social norms.

It really is a safety in numbers type of existence.

Knowing what we value and believe in can take some searching but it is totally worth it.

Our values are something that we put a worth on like valuing our freedom.

Our beliefs are something we know to be true like I believe everyone has confidence in them.

It takes real confidence, strength and courage to stand up and be your true self but it is not out of reach.

It is there within you to grasp hold of and to start being the beautiful, free butterfly you were meant to be.

Keep up to date with Andrew on: FaceBook

OneTribeMagazine.com | 25

Just Know That You

You Are Enough Sabrina Ben Salmi BSc | Multiple Award Winning Author. Public Speaker. Proud Mother.

“

In life I have come to learn that the most important journey that you could ever embark on is the journey of self-discovery. – Sabrina Ben Salmi

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In life I have come to learn that the most important journey that you could ever embark on is the journey of self-discovery. I would definitely tell my younger self to enjoy the journey more. Allowing myself to get away hasn’t always been an easy thing for me to do because my driven nature can keep me going which makes it hard to slow down and give myself permission to step away.

I would encourage my younger self to ponder on these questions as often as possible.

my vision to give me permission to pursue it. I am here to encourage you to be yourself no matter what others say or do because you are enough just the way you are.

What do you want most?

It is such a deeply profound feeling to know that life has taken me on a journey of self-discovery from feeling unworthy to a sense of self love and self-acceptance.

Is it money, love, health, wealth, happiness, fame, power, contentment, peace of mind etc?

I encourage you to take your time to establish your individual skills, talents and sacred gifts so you can go onto identify your philosophy of life, if you’re searching for a definite goal in your life journey. I highly recommend that you take responsibility to deal with your past, take control of your present and go on to create a compelling future.

Believe in yourself, even when others do not, it is absolute paramount that you honour your internal guidance system (your emotions and gut instincts) as it’ll navigate you in your life journey.

Before beginning adulthood you could benefit hugely if you recognize the fact that “Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.”

– Izaak Walton I am absolutely exhilarated about sharing this TRUTH that “You Are Enough” with you.

I can still remember sitting down during childhood worrying about if I was good enough?, if my thoughts and suggestions were good enough?, trying to impress others, trying to be the same as my peers as I feared being rejected.

If I knew then what I now know with regards to self-love and selfacceptance, I could have saved myself all the time that I wasted seeking external validation.

As I grew up I questioned why I expected people who couldn’t see

I am so in love with the continuous and organic unfoldment of life, the contrast, the unexplainable encounters, the sweat, the tears, the attachments, the fears, the discomfort, the moments of sadness and despair, the unexpected pleasantries in abundance and so much more.

That which initially presented as a so called pain, has gone on to become the premise for my thriving. I have come to realise that my so called darkest day were merely contrast and has now become my blessings beyond words. I have certainly learned that one can choose to grow through life or go through life. One thing that I truly believe is that life is a journey of market research and what you choose to do with the data is up to you. Life is always giving us feedback and when we learn the lesson that each experience has come to teach us is to equip us for the next phase of our life. At times it’ll not make sense in the present, however we connect the dots looking backwards.

The question is what will you choose?

Life will give you feedback, however what have you been choosing to delete, distort and generalise?

You are enough, therefore: • Take the gift of life seriously and convey gratitude • You have nothing to prove to others • You are unique, so there is no competition • Take care of yourself • Pursue your deepest dreams and desires • Know that you are worthy

• Take a deep breath and fully reconnect with your inner core • Stop rushing, get into alignment and then life will come to you • Trust yourself • Trust your intuition • Give up the belief that you have to work hard to create your desired outcomes • When contrast presents, choose to learn the lesson that it has come to teach you • You can choose to be in the choice • Express yourself • Being vulnerable is the first step towards success • Meditate daily to allow you to reconnect • You are a unique gift to the world • There is no such thing as failure, only feedback • All contrast helps you to fine tune that which you do not desire in order to fine tune you • Just know that you are exactly where you need to be, simply surrender to the process • Stop settling for too little • Your opinion matters • You make a difference • Forgive yourself, others and let go • Slow down and simply be fully present to this very moment, that’s the difference that will make the difference • Allow yourself to become an excellent giver and an excellent receiver

• Maintain faith and focus on thriving OneTribeMagazine.com | 27

• Learn to fall in love with yourself.

So much so that you enjoy being alone in silence listening to your inner being and align

• Being vulnerable is a strength • Stop blaming others and tap into your inner power

Excellent – well done, now let’s go for 8 seconds.

• You are an artist and life is your canvas

• Step outside of your comfort zone

Take a slow and controlled deep breath to the count of 8 seconds.

Now hold your breath for 8 seconds and then slowly exhale to the count of 8 seconds.

• Dance like no one is watching

Excellent – well done

• You are a musician and life will respond to your unique rhythm

• Create systems and processes to make life run smoothly

• Know that people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime

• Honour your thoughts by saying “thank you for sharing”

Please allow me to share this poem with you, it’s called On Children and it inspired me to parent my children the way I do today:

• You are an author and the pen is in your hands

• Stop trying to impress, friends, family and/or colleagues

• Take the gift of life seriously and convey gratitude for all aspects of your life as often as possible

• Allow yourself to become an excellent giver and an excellent receiver

• Just know that you are exactly where you need to be, simply surrender to the process

• Learn to fall in love with yourself.

So much so that you enjoy being alone in silence listening to your inner being and align

• You are a speaker and the world is your stage

• Stop settling for too little • Acknowledge, appreciate and support those who support you within your life journey • Redefine success according to you

• Ask for help when needed • Trust the process

• When surrounded by crabs in the bucket trying to dilute your vision always respond saying “I’m just getting warmed up”

• Say “How does it get any better than this?” as often as possible

• In life you can either watch the movie, be in the movie and/or direct the movie

• Convey gratitude for yourself and others

• Reconnect to your inner core

• Know that your emotions are your internal guidance system • Honour your needs and desires • All problems are problems of the mind therefore all solutions are also solutions of the mind too • Just know that contrast assists you to fine tune that which you do not desire and empowers you to powerfully pivot towards that which you desire to experience • Walk in nature barefooted and allow yourself to reconnect with nature • When you have a negative thought simply say “Who does this belong to? I return to sender with consciousness attached” • Use things and value people • Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses • Stop trying so hard

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• Take aligned action • Choose to be like water and adapt to life with flexibility Embody the positive learnings for yourself and the future. Go ahead and take three deep breaths, with each breath that you take notice how relaxed you are becoming. Now let’s try this powerful breathing technique that our family mentor (Juanpa Barahona) taught us: Take a slow and controlled deep breath to the count of 4 seconds.

Now hold your breath for 4 seconds and then slowly exhale to the count of 4 seconds.

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

By Khalil Gibran I trust that you have noticed the shift after reading the above.

Excellent – well done, now let’s go for 6 seconds.

Take a slow and controlled deep breath to the count of 6 seconds.

Now hold your breath for 6 seconds and then slowly exhale to the count of 6 seconds.

Keep up to date with Sabrina on Facebook

MA G AZINE

www.OneTribeMagazine.com

OneTribeMagazine.com | 29

UNCONDITIONAL

Christine Saunders | Empowerment Coach at Wholehearted Life.

When I wrote this, it was one of the most pivotal moments in my journey to fulfillment and wholehearted living. It was in that moment I was open enough to realize it all begins and ends with unconditional love.

I finally had the clarity I needed, and my purpose became crystal clear. I read what I wrote, and I knew in this life I am meant to ease suffering for others. I knew I could do that by contributing to others without expectation, practice servant leadership, and love with my WholeHeart. Of course, being able to do that, I had some deep soul searching and work to complete. What this piece did for me was keep me grounded in my purpose. When self-doubt and selflimiting beliefs crept in, I would read this, and I felt my sense of purpose deepen in my heart.

The beauty of flow writing is the creativity of the experience and how it will evoke emotions. And I truly believe emotions can then create motion like actions. At first, I was very sceptical as I have dyslexia and writing was a fear-provoking task.

This type of writing takes you on a journey that is almost like an out-ofbody experience. It’s like the limits I placed on myself for years were gone and the healing began the moment I made the decision. It flowed from my heart... no edits, no additions, it is as it was meant to be. Please enjoy…

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d “The most purest an nditional highest vibration is unco no love because there is no agenda, judgement, there is re is there is no doubt, the of kindness, pure friendship, acts grity and courage, bravery, inte e where honor, this is the plac ic light. you shine your authent glamour It isn’t about money, out your or popularity, it is ab u share it Wholeheart and how yo throughout as you touch everyone e” every decision you mak Keep up to date with Christine on: Facebook

When you are willing to feel it,

YOU CAN HEAL IT Vanessa Louise Birt | Transformational Mentor & Speaker.

Yesterday I had a small OP on my back to remove a suspect melanoma.

dramatic way. It’s all so unnecessary and doesn’t have to be this way.

I was diagnosed thirteen years ago in 2006 with melanoma. I had it cut out twice and have been under a consultant ever since.In 2006 I was in the shittiest place in my life. My then husband’s addictions were at a peak and our lives were in a flat spin heading, for what can only be described as utter Hell.

Isn’t hindsight a beautiful thing? When we allow ourselves the gift of self-reflection for the purpose of personal growth. To gift ourselves the insight of ‘me then and me now’ and knowing that life doesn’t happen ‘to me but for me’, we are able to practice living in the present moment more and more. Learning the lessons as we journey through life, we become our own best teacher.

My life was so far away from how I’d dreamed it to be as a little girl and now that pain was compounded by the fact I was now facing the ‘C’ word. With 2 small children and my whole life ahead of me, I was scared and frightened and feeling so alone. All I wanted was a special someone to hold me tight and ride that fearful wave with me, assuring me it would all be ok because we would face it together and he had my back. I had my mum and my dad and my gorgeous sister who were a Godsend but it’s that special someone I missed so desperately.

On reflection the only way I felt I could deal with the crippling pain of loneliness, fear, and overwhelming sense of loss was to put it all in a big empty box, tie it up and bury it as deep as I could so I could carry on with my life and wear my ‘I’m absolutely fine’ face. My ‘This is all here to make me stronger’ face. My ‘I’ve got this covered’ face.

It worked for thirteen years….or so I thought.

Until two nights ago, the night before my op.

I felt overwhelmed with an immense pain rising within me that manifested in, what felt like, the flood gates of my past burst open and pour out of my eyes for what seemed like hours. I felt unable to control myself, my thoughts, my actions and fell to my knees with utter hopelessness.

A wise friend once taught me that humilty was to be better than I was yesterday and that if I ran in my own lane and each day committed to being 0.3% better today than I was yesterday, in one year’s time I would be 100% better than I was a year ago and I would be evolving beautifully just as nature intended.

Broken and in pieces, I cried and screamed like a pathetic, crazy mess.

Today I can see clearly that this op in 2019 came at the perfect time for me to relive that time in 2006 and release myself from the pain that has clearly been haunting me for 13 years and subconsciously driving my every thought and belief of I’m invisible. I’m unlovable.

I’m important. I’m not safe.

Burying my pain served me at the time so I was able to carry on with my life. To be the best mother I could be to my kids, to remain strong for my addicted, now, ex-husband who was spiralling out of control, and to keep, or what I had left of, my sanity intact. I truly wish I’d know how to ‘be’ with my pain and allow myself to release it there and then if only to have spared myself and my beautiful new family the heartache of the other evening as they watched their mother and their wife fall apart in such a spectacular and

We all have a reason for living. We all have a purpose for Being. Our inner being has always known this and is constantly, consistently and patiently communicating with us and steering us in this direction.

The pain we feel is all an indication that we are facing away from our truest self and out of alignment with our reason for living. Allowing ourselves to ‘BE’ with our pain, accepting it’s a powerful part of our existence and just as necessary as the love, joy and passion we feel.

We are NOT out feelings. Our feelings are simply energy in motion and necessary to help us steer our lives in the direction of our purpose, NOT to define who we are.

Keep up to date with Vanessa at: www.trustvanessa.com

OneTribeMagazine.com | 31

TAPPING INTO

ENERGIES Dawn Bates | International bestselling author, coach and speaker.

I know I ‘dropped off my inner Viking’ on a visit to Norway a couple of years ago and have been a much calmer, peaceful person since. I’d always believed with my love of the sea and travel, and a fascination with Norway, I had to have been a Viking in a former life. The region of the UK I grew up in was ruled by the Viking Guthrum in 808, and known as the Kingdom of Guthrum.

Over the last few years talk of energies has been a hot topic, especially the masculine and the feminine; a subject I have been very interested to know about having always been a ‘Tom Boy’ and a leading woman in so many male dominated environments socially and professionally.

One of the questions which has been returning to me time and again is this “Am I more in my masculine due to being a man in a past life or lives; and in this life my journey is to honour and love myself as a woman to put right the wrongs I have done to women in a past life or past lives?’

Now some of you reading this may not believe in past lives, and up until a few years ago I looked at those discussing this subject with my eyebrows slightly raised, dismissing what came out of their mouth and yet still had a curiosity that could have killed any cat, which is why I am here now being one of those talking about the subject.

So for those of you who still have a lingering doubt about masculine and feminine energies, past lives and any of the other ‘woo woo’ stuff out there, bear with me, if you will.

Ever since I was younger, I have been to places I knew I had been to before, sometimes many times before but they just looked and felt different depending on where abouts I stood or looked.

I knew my way around, I knew where the castles and ruins were and I often had some really ‘funky’ feelings about certain castles and fields.

There were times I would hear laughter and one particular time I visited a castle,

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What about the amount of times you’ve met someone for the first time and you just ‘know’ each other, or they remind you of someone but you just can’t put your finger on it? Or seen a photo of someone and you get goosebumps up and down your body? That’s soul recognition by the way, just in case you were wondering.

I placed my hand on the castle wall and my whole body went cold. The screams I heard were blood curdling and I very quickly removed my hand, only to be left with an incredible heat radiating from my hand.

Again, if I had heard someone say this to me previously then I would have been one of the first ones to order the straight jacket, think the person had lost their marbles and would need to see a shrink.

But let’s explore this idea for those of you not in tune with this work of the past life and the masculine/feminine energies.

How many times have you looked at a baby and thought or heard someone say “Ooo he’s an old soul” or “She’s been here before”? Or maybe you’ve heard the joke of an adulterer coming back in the next life as a dog to learn a bit of loyalty?

Maybe like me you believe in the lost city of Atlantis and own your inner mermaid or merman?

Now being the geek I am, and fascinated by the human psyche and behaviours we have, I knew there had to be a scientific explanation. There had to be. The more I learnt, the more ‘hippie spiritual shit’ I read, the more I crossed referenced history and geography, the more so much of it made sense. Not just logical sense but what I call ‘soul sense’.

When tribes call on the spirit world, or the Maoris and Aborigines talk about ancestors we don’t think they are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, we are somewhat enamoured by the strong links they have to their past.

It is this ‘soul sense’ which brings me back to the masculine and the feminine.

Many of us exhibit personality traits of the opposite gender. Many women exhibit more testosterone than others, and many men exhibit feminine qualities, and are known as camp or effeminate.

When my friend Ej Love, talks about the Wounded and Healthy Feminine and the Immature and Mature Masculine in her work as a Love & Sex Coach, it always makes me wonder if this part of ourselves is the past life wounds we inflicted on others.

of us never actually met, and looking ‘the spitting image’ of our Great, Great Grandfather or second cousin twice removed and left on a mountain top, it does make me wonder if there is a lot more to do with the combined subjects than we are currently aware of.

It’s an interesting subject for me and one I am still very keen to explore on my journey of sexual healing, because let’s face it, being a woman who has always been very much in her masculine, and having had an 18 year marriage end and a 3.5 year relationship end, both with men who didn’t have healthy relationships with their mother, I am very keen to heal my Wounded Feminine and my Immature Masculine.

And if that is the case, does this have anything to do with the 12 point chakra system, shamanic drum healing meditations and plant medicines which are becoming widely known within the coaching industry?

Past lives may have very little to do with it all, it may have everything to do with it, but either way healing ourselves and recognising inherited personality traits from our grandparents, whom some

Are we all Divine Kings and Queens from past lives, High Priestesses, Gods and Goddesses and just how different is all of this from the talk about the Holy Spirit, ghosts and goosebumps; or as my Nan and mother would say ‘someone just walked over my grave’.

Who are the enlightened ones and just who are the crazies out there? Or are we

all just a little bit crazy for not believing we are all just souls travelling through time and space, bodies and lifetimes, coming back time and time again as man and woman to heal the human race, and hopefully the planet?

It’s made me stop and think that’s for sure, how about you? What are your thoughts on this?

If you would like to discuss this further with me on an up and coming podcast or live stream on social media, then do let me know by connecting with me on social media using @dawneebe or contacting me via my website www. dawnbates.com

Keep up to date with Dawn at: www.dawnbates.com

OneTribeMagazine.com | 33

Be Aware Of Your

Mind Or It Will Keep You Safe!

Isabel Tremblay | Animal Communicator & Intuitive Life Coach These past few months, I had quite a bit of problems with my laptop. The handyman in me tried to fix the cover with a piece of duck tape, while the not so patient side of me was sometimes - I must admit - using it as a punching bag. Ouch! It was so laborious to open a webpage or save a document that I kept a book by my side or an episode of the Big Bang Theory (my favourite TV program!!) on stand-by so I could either read or watch TV while the grey little monster dragged its imaginary feet!

Interesting how we often do the same thing in our life, don’t you think?

We put up with an uncomfortable situation instead of making a plan and taking concrete actions to really fix the problem. We know there is better “out there” but a part of us prefers to suffer - often in silence - because of all the things our not-always-logical mind makes us believe: it’s hard to change, it’s too complicated, it won’t work anyway so why bother, it’s too difficult...

I will stop here but you get the gist?!

The problem is that whatever we focus on, our rational mind will always find reasons to justify our thoughts. As I often say, asking our mind for advice is like asking a weathercock for directions!

It will take us wherever the wind blows, or in our human experience, wherever our thoughts go!

So, after putting up with a very uncomfortable process for several months, and because I was seriously considering my front window as an

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option to fix the problem, I finally decided to break the spell and bring my laptop to the spa... aka the repair shop!

The pain had become so intense and intolerable that status quo was not an option anymore, and I HAD to deal with the situation once and for all.

To my great surprise, the repair was done in a day at a very reasonable price! I drove back home telling my improved new best friend, equipped with a double dosage of RAM, all the wonderful things we would create together! My enthusiasm, however, went down the drain fairly quickly when the time came to install the new operating system: the grey little devil didn’t want to recognize my password!! Talk about a jerk!!

So here I go on a Saturday night trying to hack into my own computer. (By the way, even if all the coding seemed intimidating at first, it was SO easy...

I mean child’s play!!) After a few attempts (those codes are very picky apparently!!), I managed my way in.

Upon completing what first appeared to be a very complicated task, I realized how small and insignificant my fears and doubts were in comparison to my desire to succeed! Also, it was now quite obvious that when following the right set of instructions with a laserfocused attention, while believing that it will work out, it’s fairly easy to change an uncomfortable situation!

All this got me thinking... how hard would it be to hack into our own operating system so we could make

changes in our life and finally live up to our true potential?!

If this idea sounds interesting, just know that in order to do so, you will need a big WHY. The WHY has to be big enough for you to stay focused when the ride gets bumpy. In my case, my big WHY was that my computer was my main source of income. I had NO other choice but to stay focused and try to fix the codes until I succeeded.

Then, you will have to find a way to quiet your mind. Since your mind is extremely skilled at keeping you in an eternal state of homeostasis, if you attempt to make any significant changes, be ready to get an earful from Ms. Smarty-Pants-KnowIt-All! You know that annoying voice who kept reminding you that “those things” only happen to you, you’re just like your mother, you will never amount to anything, or that you are not good enough! You know the voice I’m talking about right?! We all have one! Mine has the most annoying squeaky voice and can be quite bossy at times!

This voice is there to protect you by keeping you safely anchored to your same old patterns. What is known is safe. It doesn’t have to be comfortable, enjoyable or fun... as long as you are safely tucked in your routine, all is well.

That is why change is so difficult. Not only does it require a level of energy greater than everything you have done so far, you will also have to quiet that annoying little bugger!

That’s also why we watch too much TV, work at a job that we hate, stay in a

dead-end relationship, or put up with friends who drag us down. We accept status quo in an attempt to “occupy” time and avoid the surplus of energy that would be required to change an undesirable situation. We fear the pain that change could cause to us, and to others. We wait while hoping that things will get better, or that suddenly the situation will disappear by some magical trick. It didn’t work for my laptop, I doubt it will work for a boring job or an unhealthy relationship!

And if you do find the energy and courage to make some changes, what will often happen is that your mind will let you throw a temper tantrum, but after a few days, it will take over to bring you back to where you were. Change is scary. So your mind will jangle all sort of yummy and fun things right in front of you to divert you from your plan, or will generate crapy feelings to make you crawl under the cover until the storm passes. If you don’t have a great support system in those times of change, the odds are that you will stop before you reach your goal. Thanks to your mind, you will find all sort of good reasons to justify why this new awesome project is not much of a deal after all!

The mind is a crafty-two-headedmonster equipped with an ironclad agenda, and it won’t hesitate to use the most crapy strategies to keep you safe in your comfort zone.

If you want to make changes in your life, don’t wait until you reach a point where the front window becomes an option! Express how you feel either to a trustworthy friend or a diary. Know that no magical phrases will ever fix the problem. Find an accountability partner or hire a coach who will help you identify the necessary steps to reach your goal and will be there with you on the road to transformation.

Change can be uncomfortable and overwhelming, but in the end, it is SO worth it!

Keep up to date with Isabel at www.isabeltremblay.com and Facebook

“

Asking our mind for advice is like asking a weathercock for direction!

– Isabel Tremblay

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LOOKING MYSELF IN

THE EYE From Being Ruled By Anxieties To Being My True Self Jonas Goldt | Holistic Business Psychologist

I have a sty in my eye. I know this is not the most beautiful opening sentence.

But this sty plays an important role in what I am about to say.

How Dysmorphophobia Deformed My Life Many years ago I’ve got diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).

A mental disorder around 2% of the population suffers from which entails the distressing or impairing preoccupation with imagined or actual small defects in one’s appearance. The effects of this fear of deformity, sometimes called dysmorphophobia, can be best described by the way my everyday life had looked like.

It began when I was a teenager still living in my small hometown. I felt disfigured. I felt disgustingly ugly. And I “knew” that everyone who sees me thinks the same and judges me the same way as I judged myself: That I deserved nothing else but being laughed at and hated.

I know this sounds harsh. But this was the “truth” in my own constructed world.

I did not think about this all day long but often enough. And then it could be some seconds, minutes or even hours of obsessive ruminating or repetitive checking. Usually about my massive nose - often on parole for plastic surgery -, or the outrageously deformed profile of my face. Oh, and of course my vulcano-sized pimples. Fortunately, the latter diminished as evidence of my disfigurement when I became a young adult.

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The Safety Behavior Paradox What stayed was my fear-based behavior. In my worst years I often did not go to parties or concerts mainly because of the reason of not wanting to be on display. When I did I tried not to stand or sit in the middle of the crowd.

In clubs I often felt kind of “observed” by people dancing behind or aside of me. Knowing that they see how extremely long my face profile, and the nose, of course, is. Before leaving the house I used to take long to get myself ready. Sometimes hours even. I hid my pimples with a concealer, I fixated my hair with hairspray or gel or both.

Moving one small bit of my hair just a millimeter to the left, and right, and back again. Oh, yes, I even ran to the tanning salon - sometimes twice a week.

You call this safety behavior in psychological terms. Coping behaviors people with anxiety disorders like BDD use to reduce anxiety. Unfortunately perpetuating it instead since applying these actually makes the disorder seem even more real.

Living With The Stigma Of Vanity The stigma of vanity is a big burden when having BDD. As is the fact that no one takes your concerns and the impairment of your life seriously. The difference is whereas vanity is mostly about aggrandizing appearance, dysmorphophobic people long to normalize their appearance. And the concerns, the overvaluing of appearance and the feelings were real for me. Those issues can be deadly real

for some even. Luckily, I did not belong to the many that think about or attempt suicide.

And well, actually, I didn’t even go down to the mailbox in the apartment buildings I was living without having my hair done and my face “corrected”.

This is where my Social Anxiety Disorder came in handy as well. Social Phobia holding hands with its mate Dysmorphophobia. No wonder you abbreviate it SAD. A heartbreaking relationship with no happy end. Well, actually not true. For a long time I didn’t think I had an alternative to living by the rules my anxieties dictated. But as time passed I realized it is up to me to break up with both of them.

Letting Go To Find Yourself Getting from frequent despair to the rare and silent breath in my neck of an unexpected visitor of foregone times took me some years. Psychotherapy helped me to realize I had a mental disorder in the first place and I learned the tools to confront my demons and my past. I had to build up my confidence and find other sources thereof. In the recent years my practice in meditation and mindfulness helped me more and more to stay in the here and now.

Yet the greatest turning point for me was breaking through egoic thinking and finding my true self, finding my inner hero. By thorough self-reflection I analyzed my unique strengths and my innate potential that my anxieties were trying to hold back from me all my life.

“

You too can live up to your inner hero and fulfill your purpose.

The world needs YOU! It’s your time to rise and be happy.

– Jonas Goldt

I taught myself the tools to freedom and know it is my responsibility now to teach them to others. Now, at the age of 39, I finally began to live up to my inner hero. I realized my purpose in this world. Which is the most empowering and uplifting realization you can have in your life.

Taking Each Opportunity To Rise And yet, here we are. Here we have this pretty specimen of a sty staring at me in the mirror. Forcing me to look myself in the eye. Years ago a sty would have forced me not to leave the house until it was gone. Now it is my hero’s trial.

What welcoming excuse not to record a video for my social media. What opportunity not to get out there and stay hidden. But instead I have taken this as an opportunity to rise. To get out there NO MATTER WHAT! My responsibility for showing up for my tribe is more important than a flicker of vanity and a pinch of fear. Now I’ve turned the tables.

I wouldn’t let a sty stop me. No, I got in front of the camera and welcomed this sty as a blessing.

#nofilter To Beat Perfectionism This incident taught me something else. What was holding me back was also the urge for perfectionism which got activated twofold. Firstly, my own standards which still are too high at times. Although I mostly got rid of my perfectionism during the last years as well, it still can get hold of me.

Secondly, in this day and age, there seems to be an overload with “perfectionism”. It somewhat became another -ism to fight against! In my youth the perfectly looking male models in print magazines or at billboards were feeding my BDD. But nowadays we get bombarded by “the perfect life” - and a fake one that is. Photoshopped models, filtered snapchats, amazingly arranged instafood. Everyone is smiling and is in an awesome mood - all the time. Sitting at a breathtaking beach or in front of “their” designer homes. It’s no wonder that more people get dysmorphophobia or depressions due to the consumption of social media - like research shows.

That is why we ought to hold ourselves accountable to really be authentic and not just to pretend to be it. We are obliged - at least once in a while - to show up using #nofilter or talk about the downfalls in our lives. Let’s show the world out there it’s more than OK not to be perfect.

Live Up To Your Inner Hero This is my message to everyone reading this struggling with any kind of anxiety, fear or any other block: Don’t let anything stop you from walking your own path. Even if it it seems impossible now, like it had seemed to me, believe me: freedom is possible. You too can let go of the things that seem to hold you back. You too can live up to your inner hero and fulfill your purpose. The world needs YOU! It’s your time to rise and be happy.

Keep up to date with Jonas on Facebook

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There is no such thing as failure...

Only Lessons Jenaya Huxter | Self Empowerment Speaker, Educator & Advocate Our “Pressures” are simply little flags, little tips, highlighted markers for us to give AWAREness. How do those things make us feel? Where are they coming from? Are they truly relevant or is this something coming from outside of MY needs, and purpose... The way we feel these pressures can guide our path, we can walk into them, we can accept them, we can work with them or against them...

In life today there is an immense amount of pressure coming from all directions...

Pressure to fit in, pressure to do the right thing, pressure to look the right way, to talk the right way, to act the right way, so be like everyone else...

Pressure to make enough money, pressure to succeed, pressure to care and serve…

Work hard, pay the bills, look after everyone else...

You can point your life in any direction you want it to go, you can turn it around, you can use your passion, your resourcefulness, your finesse to steer your ship...

Often it’s even put yourself last...

But is that a way to live...

People go to the supermarket and wonder how they are going to afford groceries, the electricity bill comes and it’s “how are we going to pay it?”

You say the wrong thing and someone gets upset, you say the right thing and your butting in...

Everyone has an opinion about everything and everyone... But what does that have to do with you?

We are all different, we are all individual, we are all our own people...

So why do the pressures and expectations applied TO others, or BY others also get applied to us?

Because we allow them too...

We get caught up in those moments, in society, in structure, in routine, we forget... We are our own beings, we have control… We don’t NEED to apply these same structures, these same expectations, these same PRESSURES to us...

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All we need to do is be the best versions of ourselves we can be and make our best conscious effort to live, learn & grow... If we can do that with love, gratitude and appreciation we can gain awareness and wisdom from the lessons that life provides.

There is pressure to do well, pressure to succeed, pressure to do more...

Pressure not to “fail”. But these are pressures we apply to ourselves, and these are simply angles we are looking at with a filtered lens.

When can you truly fail?

When you give up... When you bow down... When you forget who you are, why you’re here, what you want & how incredibly amazing YOU are….

Our “Failures” are simply lessons, there to guide us to our path of greatness and knowledge.

You can have anything you want, most people just don’t “believe” it’s possible. They don’t believe ‘they’ can have it, do it, feel it….. They see the value and opportunity for others but are often placing themselves last, or at the very least undervaluing themselves and their own power and abilities.

We often get stuck in stories, our experiences, our lessons, our failures. We live from logic, this is what happened, this is what will.

We often don’t allow ourselves the opportunity to grow, we put a lid on own ability and place our value, our respect & our love outside of ourselves...

Social Expectations... Social Pressure... Social Perception is NOTHING compared to what we put onto ourselves.

We ARE our own harshest critics....

We are the ones with the ability to make or BREAK us, our dreams and our realities…

We are the ones that choose the actions we take, the moves we don’t...

Often we place our own negative self-thoughts and patterns of disbelief unjustly onto others, onto their perceptions, their expectations...

Often that sense of Social Pressures, Societal Failure has come from ourselves... Our own insecurities, our own doubts, our own inability to love, honor and value thy self.

We would all have a lot fewer friends and acquaintances if people thought and spoke to us with the same harshness and judgement as we do ourselves.

You have the Power...

You have the Wisdom...

You have learnt lessons, you have grown, developed & nurtured skills throughout your life that will help you guide your passions...

You have the ability...

The Freedom...

The fundamental structures within you to go out into the world and get all that you want from life…

Remember... Everything happens for a reason... All of the dots will align…

It might not feel like it sometimes, we will never know when... But with the choice to live with conscious awareness and perception there WILL be moments where you look back and say to your self “Ahh, that’s why that happened”, “Ohh, i get it now”....

Pay attention to the lessons, what did they teach us? Why did they come about?

How do things make you feel?

Empowered? Luggish? Stressed?

Anxious? Inspired?

In which actions & feelings do you feel you should be applying your energy?

How can you enhance and embody those feelings and actions more often?

How can you remember that notion in those moments of stress, anxiety, fear, frustration or pressure?

How can you turn that around, realign to you, steer your own life, your own feelings, your own emotions?

It’s important to find a way to release energy that doesn’t serve you…

Whether that is to go for a run, cry it out, listen to music, go into the middle of a field and SCREAM as loud as you can... Do what you need to do to safely and positively RELEASE...

But ensure you also take that moment to recognise, to accept and reflect... To appreciate the process and your ability to recognise and act.

Let go of what is holding you back, the things, the people, the thoughts, the emotions, the negative energy...

Let go, and release...

Choose awareness, align with the path you desire… Release YOURSELF from the pressure, from the confines, allow yourself to explore freely, & safely, Give yourself moments to relax, to dive deep, to reflect, and experience peace...

Give yourself the opportunity to live, trust & believe in your own unique path, your own unique purpose, your own unique form of greatness and power.

Keep up to date with Jenaya on: Facebook & Instagram

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“

While you are unconscious to your addiction you are powerless, once you recognise it the “addiction” loses power over you.

– Ani Manukyan

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Unconscious

Addiction Ani Manukyan | Entrepreneur, Mentor, Speaker & Philanthropist

I was sitting next to a lady at a gathering and I noticed her opening her phone and checking her Instagram likes every 10 minutes or so, if not more often.

Cut down the Root Cause of why you feel you need to do this action, behaviour. In a way that’s not serving you? When your root belief and being is shifted, you can not and will not fall back to your old habits and behaviours.

Just holding the likes page down to see if there were anymore “Likes”.

I’m sure she was unconscious of her behaviour, but nevertheless whether you are aware of your “addictive” behaviours or not, they are still there.

It’s important to bring them into light and recognise them in order to be able to shift the unconscious addiction.

Recognise it, while you are unconscious to your addiction - you are powerless.

You might think; well what’s wrong with that she is just checking her likes?

Because now you are aware, it’s no longer unconscious. From here you can do something about it.

But why is she doing it? How does it make her feel? And what happens when the likes end? & Do we post something for “Likes” or because we want to share something with people?

Cut it Out

Well, that I will let you decide.

What are Unconscious Addictions?

But the unconscious addictive habits and behaviours are not only built and shown in social media. But also in our daily life. How often do you “have to” check your phone? “Eat the whole chocolate bar when you buy some”, I’m guilty of this. :) Most importantly your inner addictive self talk. That likes to tell you same story over and over again about you, that you get so attached and addicted to. Most people are not even conscious of their inner self talk and how addictive that is!

Well, once you recognise it the “addiction” loses power over you.

Just like an alcoholic would not go to a pub while recovering, you don’t go to your addiction while you are recovering. Just put it away, this will help you to come to your balance!

So that, you are not so deep in your unconscious addiction that you are not even aware of it, but you would catch yourself when going back to your old self behaviour.

You are fully recovered when you don’t have emotional attachment to your “addiction” and you don’t behave the same way. Then you can decide whether or not you wish to have this phone, app, person, etc. in your life, and if you do you would come from a more empowered space.

Root Cause In order not to fall back again, back to your old addictions and behaviours.

Because you are a new version of you and that was your old self, which is dead, because you have shifted the root cause of your actions. Just like weeding out your garden, you gave weeded out your habit and addiction.

Some good questions to ask yourself are: What am I getting out of this “addiction”, that I don’t want to let go of ?

How is it holding me back in life?

How is it lowering my quality of life?

Do this until you feel a relief and a sense of no point of holding on to something that’s not serving you.

Keep going your transformation always happens within you, before you see a shift in your behaviour and in your world. This “unconscious addictions” develop slowly over time, so be gentle with yourself and give yourself the time you need to release what is no longer serving you and start seeing yourself the way you want to be seen.

Love Ani

Keep up to date with Ani at: www.animanukyan.com

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Being a First Responder, One Tribe and Other Stuff Andy Ferguson | Author. Guide. Mentor. Speaker.

I’ve had an incredible few weeks, so I thought I’d share some of the stuff that’s been going on and more importantly, some of the insights and “ah-ha” moments that have occurred.

So first up - I realised only a few moments ago, that I used to play the role of a “First Responder” a lot back in the day. Let me explain. There’s this guy, perhaps the smartest person I’ve ever personally encountered, genius bearly covers it and I’ve to know him now for over a decade. I had a conversation with him yesterday, first one in years and in some ways I came away shocked and a bit angry. This is a guy I helped, as a coach, as a “co-trainer”, and speaker at an event he organised, among other things, who was almost dismissive of the significant role I played in helping him “step up” to a whole other level of success.

And I was left wondering “if he didn’t really value what I did for him, why did he pay me the significant sums he did back then”? Here’s what I’ve realised. At the 42 | OneTribeMagazine.com

time I worked with him I was doing a lot of speaking and networking at business events and academic institutions. I also had a book published and the publisher would introduce me to clever interesting people. I appeared on the radio quite often and sometimes mainstream TV. I was a fairly typical “Motivational Speaker”.

As a consequence of that when I met someone my excitement and enthusiasm for life were plain to see and I was often the first guy they’d met who would “legitimise” their own dreams and aspirations. It was like this: So often we have what we think is a genius idea, an idea that is going to change the world or make us rich or both. Back in the day, I used to encourage that sort of aspiration almost as much as I breathed. It just did it all the time.

Do you know I thought the answer to all the world’s problems could be solved by people pursuing their dreams? If the world wasn’t good enough, I reasoned, it was because we weren’t good enough

at following up on our ideas, aspirations and gifts, either individually or collectively.

So if someone showed up in front of me at an event, or maybe just in passing and they showed even the slightest a bit of passion, wanting to share an idea or demonstrated a bit of ambition I’d be right there beside them, my “strapline” at the time being Inspire, Encourage and Support. Listen I’d walk over broken glass and a thousand razorblades for the chance to help someone do something amazing or who needed help to be amazing.

And as I discovered that wasn’t all that common. People, especially adults, especially adults in their Midlife don’t get a lot of encouragement. They’re kind of left to their own devices. Nobody comes up to an adult the way they might a child at school or a young person starting out in the world and encourage them to pursue their dream, their crazy idea or to change their direction, thrown in the towel and try something new and different. It’s just not that common. Me on the other

hand, I didn’t differentiate between a sixyear-old starting school and a fifty-nine year old looking for something “more”. It was all the same to me. My only concern was “what’s stopping you”? And “can I help in some way”.

group, one community, One Tribe will lift your sense of self-worth and self-belief.

I didn’t do all that much for my client but what I did do ... it made a world of difference to him and the people he served. And you can do that too. We all can. Just sayin’. Maybe I should take up speaking again, what do you think?

Let me come clean, my ex-client was right, I played a very limited role in his success. His genius was absolutely critical to him successfully reaching the next step but when we met he was stuck and frustrated, angry even and my intervention really helped. I was the first person he’d met, certainly in a long time perhaps ever, who actually cared if he succeeded or not. Yes there were other people depending on him, but they were more interested in what he could do for them than him being successful for himself.

So, since I thought the world could only get better if individuals succeeded and by god I really did think the world needed to get better, I saw it as an opportunity to fulfil my Devine Mission to Inspire, Encourage and Support people - someone, anyone just like him. Now even if I wasn’t that good at delivering it, according to his decade’s old feedback anyway, I was the first and probably only person to do this for him. So now you see where I’m going with this whole “First Responder” thing right? What does it feel like the very first time we meet someone who believes in us, our idea or our dream? I’d say it feels pretty intoxicating Now listen, I want to believe, to borrow a phrase from The X Files. I want to believe that’s it’s possible for us to live our dreams, get rich, make the world a utopia, solve all the world’s most difficult problems and live happily ever after. Or at least I did. That was around the time the BBC, no less, called me “the country’s leading inspiration speaker”. And then ... to paraphrase Neil Armstrong ... I took one small step for a man and one giant fall from grace for mankind.

Build a better world. Are you kidding?

Have you looked at what’s going on out there in the real world? Global warming, holy wars, plastic in our oceans and stuffed down the gullets of our wildlife, a population that is growing so fast

So what else has been happening? ...

Finally got the inspiration to finish the piece I’ve been writing with Larry since January, which you can read elsewhere in the magazine. Been on a Christian radio show talking about my first 58 years on the planet, I didn’t realise I’d done so much. I helped my daughter to “keep it together” as she prepared to hand in her final year’s dissertation for her Archaeology Degree at one of Europe’s old Universities, no pressure there then.

we can not fail to destroy our planet in the process and that’s before nuclear annihilation. I guess it’s pretty obvious that I’m not a Motivational Speaker any more. And yet here’s the thing.

The only way that this, all of it, is going to get better is if we all try a bit harder, we all look to find and use our gifts, our genius, our life experiences and our dreams and ideas and (com)passion to keep the best of what the world has and the progress humans have made over hundreds of thousands of years and to find the solutions to the new challenges we face, not just as individuals but as communities, nations, businesses as a species - and as a vital part of this planet’s ecosystem.

We are all One Tribe, living on a fragile planet with our own dreams and aspirations, hopes and fears. Next time you get down and frustrated thinking about the mess the world’s in or the mess you’re in, consider all the dreams, ideas and challenges of the people all around you. You can become a first responder and see how encouraging and supporting one idea, one person, one

I’ve been working on an interesting sideline - designing and writing a week-long technical training program for operators of Computer Controlled Manufacturing Systems in the USA, yes I’m that versatile, whilst researched Edinburgh’s old town for more of the walks I have coming up and I’ve been taking loads more photos with my new Panasonic Mirrorless Camera. I forgot to meditate as much as I should but researched and planned three new routes that cross Scotland, which I hope to walk in the next couple of years. I’ve managed to complete one of the eight books I got as presents for my birthday last month, bought a new pair of Goretex walking shoes for less than half price from the Northface outlet store, I mean really, who pays $170 for a pair of shoes?

And I’ve had three consecutive 11 out of 10 days whilst coping with loads of painful flea bites, courtesy of our pesky cat. And finally, I got to the other end of the “root canal treatment” which I need a second mortgage for.

I love my life.

Keep up to date with Andy at: www.onlyoneintention.com

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Clearing and Healing your Inner Wounding is your

Soul’s Purpose Abby Wynne | Shamanic Psychotherapist. Author. Energy Healer. Teacher.

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What is this life all about? Who are you and what are you supposed to be doing while you’re in this body, on this planet? This is the biggest question of all questions that could ever be asked.

At a spiritual level we know there is no definitive answer, but at a personal level, it usually comes down to which career you choose. For example, are you “meant to be” a teacher, or an entrepreneur? At a personal level, people really want to know the answer to this – it becomes like a quest. Many people get in touch with me, asking me to read their energy and tell them what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives.

They get disappointed when I tell them that it’s not up to me to do that. Soul purpose – the purpose of our soul, goes well beyond what we do for a living, or should I say, what job we do for money.

And when we look at our mortality there seems to be more of an urgency around knowing the answer to why we are here.

We know that at some point our life will end, it’s probably the only thing we can be truly certain of – so do we have to do great works, produce something majestic, or leave a legacy behind us when we die? And what might that be?

Please help!! Over time I’ve learned that just being here and living our lives, but really being present in them and living them, not just getting by and surviving, is really why we’re here. What we do or create is a bonus.

I also believe that some people are here to bring humankind forward somehow through science, art or humanitarian works. These beings have a mission, perhaps that’s a similar thing to purpose, however I don’t think it’s exactly the same thing. The Dalai Lama, for example, is a spokesperson for kindness; Amma is the embodiment of pure, unconditional love.

Both of these figureheads are leaders of light, bringing divine energy and love into the world. In order to do this their souls are at a different frequency perhaps, most of us are not at the same level or configuration in that respect. So the rest of us are here to experience life through the filter of our personality, our character, our experiences and our wounding. It’s not a small thing, truly. And boy is there a lot of wounding out there.

When it comes down to it, your real purpose is to connect with your inner light, clear and cleanse it, and shine it as bright as you can. Your inner light being the true essence of you, your life force energy, the quality of your presence. You don’t have to be a lighthouse to guide everybody home, a night light or a torch will do the trick. This inner light is the truth of who we are, and it shines through when you’re happy, it’s the light behind a person’s eyes. That’s why we are so drawn to babies, their light is so bright it’s a pleasure to be near it. People can be like this too, you just feel good when you’re beside them, you may not even know why – it’s because their inner light is strong and pure, and they don’t ask anything from you in return. And as multidimensional beings, when your energy is bright and strong, you influence other people to feel good too.

We are multi-dimensional beings, this means you’re working in the energetic dimensions as well as in this reality (or we could call it the 3D dimension).

Because your brain doesn’t necessarily go to the other dimensions you may never know what you get up to energetically! It doesn’t mean you do all your great works somewhere else so you don’t need to bother doing anything here – once you dedicate yourself to clearing and cleansing your inner light, to doing your own, personal inner healing work, as you heal, your energy purifies

and spreads love and goodness in all the other dimensions too. Perhaps we will never know the extent to which we influence consciousness. And we will never truly understand the extent of consciousness itself, either. But if you, personally don’t make a commitment to heal and brighten your inner light, your life is less dimensional, and to me that means it’s less magical, less vibrant, less rich and lower in quality. But if that’s good enough for you, then that’s good enough.

Think of it in terms of energy and vibration – if the whole of humanity’s consciousness pools together in what Carl Jung called “The collective unconsciousness” then you’re part of that pool. By doing your inner work, you brighten your light and raise the vibration of your energy, therefore raising the vibration of the collective. Don’t think that your part in this doesn’t matter, that you’re just one person – in fact, your light, if that little bit brighter, could be the catalyst for massive change in the energetic realms. Again, we may never know. But more and more frequently in our day to day lives we are seeing and experiencing the thinness between these dimensions, and shifts in energetics spill over here into this reality and become manifest very quickly. For example, if you think of someone, and then you hear from them, you’ve tapped into them energetically, they felt it and they OneTribeMagazine.com | 45

contacted you here, in this reality. Or perhaps they thought of you first, and you were the one who felt it! Either way, it happened energetically first. Try it now, why not think about someone you’ve not heard from in a while, and see if they contact you, or their photo pops up in your Facebook feed! It can be so fun when you play in the energetic realms.

When your light is brighter it is further reaching, and what you create brings more light into the world. When you heal your inner wounding, let go of heavy stuck vibrational energy and have more presence in the world, you have a higher quality of life force energy, so the amount of light you hold is denser, and brighter. This means that whatever you do - whether that be you singing in the shower, painting a work of art or laughing at a silly movie – also creates more light.

People that book a session with me to find their soul’s purpose usually feel a 46 | OneTribeMagazine.com

bit lost, not sure which direction to go in, they describe it as feeling stuck. There’s always an urgency to fix and change it, which seems to heighten the situation. I question them about their background, what they are doing now, what they do for fun, if they’re able to completely relax and how well they enjoy their life. I usually discover that they are actually not present in their own lives, not connected to their body, not feeling their feelings.

That’s the thing - people mostly just don’t want to feel their feelings. Heavy inner wounding becomes solidified energy that is carried around in the body. And that isn’t pleasant to feel, at all.

When you run away to avoid feeling, a disconnect happens between your spirit and your body. The mind has total control over your choices, you lose touch with your heart, and your inner wisdom.

Sure sometimes you get a hit of intuition telling you “this person is dangerous” or “it will probably rain today” but most of

the time it’s like running on empty. Why? Well, your brain isn’t designed to run on feelings, so it sends your life force energy into all of the things outside of you, to check on them so to speak, so you have less life force energy available to you in this reality. And you spend a lot of time worrying, because you’re really not in tune with your intuition. Every time you think about something you send more of your life force into it. And your life force keeps pulling you back to that thing that you’re worrying about, creating a cycle that is not only difficult to break, but also exhausting. This is why the mind can’t let something go – it keeps returning to it because you’re actually looking for the energy that you’ve put into it. You’ve already done the thinking part.

When you live from the mind alone you become depleted and it doesn’t take much for you to become drained. It gets more and more difficult to anchor yourself here, in the present moment,

in your body. Unexpected things that upset you upset you more than they should because you’re low on energy, low on resources to handle it. Anxiety is something that you experience frequently. And if this goes on for an extended period, low level anxiety turns into high level anxiety which can turn into anxiety attacks, which can turn into a full blown panic attack. It’s very scary, and really disempowering. When you live with anxiety you cannot light up your inner light as you’re spending the little energy that you do have trying to stay calm and manage your life. And if you live this way and don’t have anxiety, it’s probably because you stopped caring so much about anything. You feel dull, lost, the joy is gone, everything seems grey and life is not fun. Everything takes a lot of effort, particularly relationships or social events.

No wonder people who experience this want to know why they are here, and what is the point of it all.

You really need to be in touch with your feelings to know what you like, what you don’t like, and what you have the potential to be passionate about. I know people who can’t decide what to wear, what to eat for lunch or what their favourite colour is because they don’t allow themselves to really think, feel, or know these things about themselves.

I also know people who spend most of the day hiding away, because they can’t cope with interactions or things like taking the bus or driving their cars.

All is not lost. You can change this around. The safer you feel in your body, in the world, the more of your feelings you allow yourself to feel, the more connected you can be to your body.

Mindfulness is a great way to give your brain a rest too, especially if your poor brain is working on overtime! When you bring mindfulness into the body, well, that’s what really helps start you on the path to reconnection. And when you do the work of healing and releasing the pain you carry connected to your inner wounding, you can get deeper into your body, become comfortable in it , and tune into all of the resources that you have, working with all of them and not just with your mind. This involves doing your inner work. In my new book, Heal

your Inner Wounds, I give you a roadmap to do exactly this – to learn how to trust your body, to trust this reality, to get your power back, to let go of the heavy, stuck emotions, and to enable you to become more empowered and present in your life.

So what about your Soul purpose? Well, as I have said, not being present in your body is like drifting away from the centre of your life, and therefore you drift away from your soul’s purpose. So healing and getting into your body is the first step.

And as far as your career aspirations, or who you are supposed to meet, or what you’re meant to create while you’re alive, well, just like the GPS system in your car, if you make a wrong turn in your life, your path will recalibrate itself around your fate. So if it is for you, it will be there for you. If there is a lesson you need to learn, you will learn it (sometimes more than once) until you really get it!. And if you don’t learn it, that’s as far as you go, until the next time, if there is one.

It always comes back to the quality of your presence. The choices you make in the moment dictate whether you learn that lesson now, or later. Choices as small as whether to have the pizza over the salad could affect your whole life – for example if you not aware that your body is already tired when you choose the pizza because you like the taste of melted cheese and bread and the comfort you get when you eat it, your body could become sleepy in the afternoon, and you miss something somebody said, which was an amazing opportunity. If you’re more in the moment, more in your body, you can make better choices. And be clearer and more tuned in to possibility, and opportunity too.

I see our bodies as the vessels through which we experience our lives. If you’re always in your head and out of your body, you’re not experiencing what your heart is experiencing, you’re not connecting to your gut instinct. And you miss what is already buried inside you, the longings, the passions, what lights you up. A whole hearted life is one you put your whole heart into. A vibrant life is where your light is shining brightly as much as it can do. And it feels so good to be lit up. You

light up the world when your light shines brightly! Only you know what it is that lights you up by your experiencing it. And that may change as you get older, as you tire of something, or as you grow. There is no one thing that you are supposed to do while you are in your body, in the world, in your life. Except for really, truly, live it. Vibrantly and wholeheartedly.

Keep up to date with Abby at: abby-wynne.com or Facebook + Instagram

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Healing Connections with

Mother Charmaine Barber | Transformational Coach & Writer helping professional women to Live Life Freely

Feeling connected gives, us a feeling of security, abundance, being loved, cherished and wanted.

Our main connection is the mother/ child bond, it is through her that we were nourished, fed and grew when we started our life in her womb, and through her we obtained our first beliefs about ourselves.

Connectedness is how we bonded with her and its through her that we felt valued, adored, cossetted and loved beyond measure. Or not.

Some of us may have experienced a break in that bond, through either physical or emotional separation, at birth or later on in life. Perhaps we experienced a birth trauma, were ill 48 | OneTribeMagazine.com

in hospital as a toddler and mum couldn’t come to visit because she had to look after your siblings, or she died. Maybe we were given or taken away at birth to foster or adoptive parents. It might be that you feel emotional separated from your parents as they fought with each other and ignored you.

By experiencing this too early separation we find it difficult in life to connect or to make friends and keep them. A significant other relationship may fail because we are unable to connect with them in a truly deep, intimate way as we find it so difficult to connect with ourselves. We struggle to find inner

peace; we live life going through the motions but without feeling part of it. We desperately want to feel that connection, which somehow eludes us, out of reach and unattainable.

For those of you who feel that disconnection, separation, aloneness and abandonment, you might find yourself, repeating certain DAS´s – Deep Attachment Sentences which describe those feelings.

• I feel unwanted • I´ll be rejected • I won´t exist • I´ll have nobody • I don´t matter

• I´ll be abandoned • I´m not enough • I´m too much With those of you who´s bonding was never complete or was broken; you may say some of the following things: • My mother was always too busy for me • My mother and I don’t have a very good relationship • My mother is very selfish • I felt much closer to my aunt. She was always there for me.

• I was scared of my mother.

• My mother was never maternal.

By examining our beliefs surrounding our connectedness, we can start to make more sense of our lack of it in our everyday lives and change it.

Where our mother/child relationship´s very foundations are either disrupted or even torn apart, the pain which comes from it are like splinters of glass which cut us to the core. By experiencing separation, we may well withdraw into ourselves, taking care not to be hurt further, wanting to desperately protect ourselves from more hurt or pain, we lock ourselves into a repeating and continuing pattern of self-doubt and frustration. The indescribable pain of abandonment becoming allconsuming and life shaping.

One question you could ask yourself is, “Does what I am experiencing with my partner, actually mirror what I felt when I was a small child with my parents?” One of the invisible dynamics which runs beneath our everyday understanding and manoeuvring through the day is the experience of a break in our maternal bond which can lead to anxiety when bonding with our mate and it may well increase as our relationship with them deepens because we start to find fault with them or create conflict which then manifests itself in such a way that we start to feel either clingy, jealous or deeply insecure. It can result in us doing the exact opposite of that whereby we reject any type

of relationship, or we seem so independent to the other person that we never or rarely ask for anything because we have decided we can´t risk being dependant on anyone. By rejecting a parent, it can stop us from becoming successful in life.

The very fact that we are able to make these connections allows us to make profound changes in the way we look at and deal with life so we can avoid repeating the same mistakes they made, because sometimes, the unconscious bond we have with them limits us without knowing or realising that we are doing it.

Act to rectify the situation. One way to heal if you were abandoned, is to write down the sort of mother you would have liked your mother to have been, regardless of whether she is alive or not, or if you haven’t met her.

You could write, “My mother was a loving, kind and caring mother who was strict but fair.” Go into specifics saying what she did for you every day and really build up an imaginable picture in your head full of love and caring.

Think of an event where you felt she really let you down. Have a conversation with her out loud or journal it and allow her comfort and support to come through.

Forgive and understand her. Build a relationship with her like the one you should have had.

Take one DA sentence which resonated with you most from the list above, say it and recognise it for what it is, a sentence which has no hold or power over you anymore.

Recognise those thoughts, feelings and pictures you have in your head, then acknowledge the fear which saying that DA sentence released.

Acknowledge it, then place one of your hands on the part of your body where your emotional pain is coming from and breathe deeply in and out very slowly and become in touch with what you are feeling and let those feelings flow through you and out again.

Having a healing ritual of lighting a candle every night for three months and speak to your mother, even though you might not know her. Be comforted by her, speak to her, tell her the things you would like to say to her. Imagine that the candle is burning a path through which you can both travel, meet in the middle and reunite. Allow the presence of her to comfort you, allow those feelings of connection and love to expand inside you.

Write a letter to her, telling her how sad it is that she left you the way she did, tell her you understand how difficult it must have been for her as no mother easily leaves a child behind that they love.

The more you repeat these rituals and visualisations, the more you will alter your neurons creating new, better neural pathways to cope with your trauma.

Keep up to date with Charmaine on Facebook or my FB Group

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EMOTIONAL

ALCHEMY Saroj Dubeyl

“When we are confronted with moments of despair and grief and something hurts in life we don’t usually consider it to be our path or as our source of wisdom. However the fact is that anyone who has used these moments of despair to become wiser, kinder and more at home in the world has learned from what has happened right now” These words from Pema Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart struck a chord in my heart at a time when I was waging a losing battle with emotional turmoil. Being a doctor, I have dealt with a fair share of grief and despair not only among my patients but on a personal level too.

As Pema Chodron has beautifully described in her book, feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, jealousy, anger or fear teach us to perk up and lean in when we’d rather collapse and back away. She advises us to somehow let the energy of the emotion, the pure quality of what we are feeling, pierce us to the heart.

This way the hardness in us will dissolve, and we will be softened by the sheer force of whatever energy arises, be it the energy of fear, anger or disappointment.

Moving towards rather than away from emotional distress is the way to real transformation, but it requires some practice and an immense amount of courage. Pema illustrates this in another book, ‘ The places that scare you’, where she describes emotions as a combination of selfexisting energy and thoughts. Below the thoughts lie a vital self-pulsating energy. There is nothing wrong or harmful about that underlying energy.

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One has to practice staying with it, experiencing it, and leaving it as it is.

When emotional conflict of any form arises, we should practice letting the story line go and simply abiding with the energy. This is a felt experience and not a verbal commentary. We can feel the energy in our bodies. If we can stay with it without acting it out or repressing it, it wakes us up.

In Vajrayana Buddhism it is said that wisdom is inherent in emotions, and when we struggle against our energy, we reject the source of wisdom.

Some time ago, I was faced with a severe professional crisis which threatened to turn my whole life upside down. A patient I was treating and had performed a therapeutic procedure (ERCP) on, developed a serious complication following it. It was a high profile case as the patient was a VIP with strong social links, and although there was no negligence on my part, the entire blame of the case fell on me. My reputation was at

stake, and I felt that I was on the verge of being ruined and jobless. I was also racked with guilt. I began working out all my escape routes and ways to avert a potential catastrophe. Appointments with astrologers and tarot readers were sought. It was then that I chanced upon Pema Chodron’s book. Her suggestion that there was a lot of wisdom and learning in any situation, however messy or desolate, struck me forcibly. According to her if we embrace the fear and despair mindfully rather than avoiding it, a totally new dimension opens up. And so I decided to try it out in my case too. Not that I seemed to be left with any other choice, for my mind was not working at all, and I could not think rationally or analytically. All I did was to be brave enough to mindfully observe my feelings in all their intensity, and accept whatever the outcome was, however undesirable.

It went against my usual instinct which was to imagine the worst scenario and plan accordingly, such as search for a new job in case I was sacked, or hire a lawyer in case of a litigation suit.

This time all I did was to wait and surrender and accept. This went on for 21 miserable and painful days.

Each day, the situation appeared to deteriorate as the patient became progressively sicker, and the relatives more aggressive. In my spare time I would just sit by myself in meditation and introspection and observe my feelings to the best of my ability. Initially, it was intolerable to be by myself amidst the tsunami of emotions for even a short period, but gradually things improved. It then dawned on me that once you

surrender to a situation with deep acceptance, the situation doesn’t seem as bad as envisaged. We often conjure up dreadful images in our mind because we are convinced that we would never be able to face the worst, leave alone deal with it. But this episode taught me that if you can summon the courage to look the monster in the face, and confront it head on, it gradually loses its all-too dreadful impact. And you are well on the path of transformation or emotional alchemy. We start to understand that conflicting emotions and painful situations have the potential to wake us up and teach profound truths.

The patient unfortunately died, and I faced a torrid time, no doubt. But I’m glad that I faced the episode like a spiritual warrior, with an open heart. The episode convinced me that acceptance and surrender were not weak or negative traits, but positive brave emotions that help you become more empathetic and courageous.

Miriam Greenspan deals with this issue brilliantly in her book, ‘Healing of the dark emotions.’ She says that when we can tolerate dark emotions mindfully, we can control our impulses without suppressing our emotions. She describes ‘’emotional alchemy” as the conscious flow of emotional information and energy.

Emotional flow is about tolerating the energy of grief, fear and despair in the body and allowing the wisdom of these emotions to unfold. It is about a state in which one is connected to the energy of the emotion, yet able to witness it mindfully. Miriam further elaborates that when we can consciously and with awareness attend to, tolerate and surrender to the energy of the dark emotions as it flows, we open the doorway to the magic of emotional alchemy. Miriam outlines the three basic skills needed to deal with and transform the dark energies to gratitude, faith and joy.

These are Attending, Befriending and Surrendering (A,B,E). Attending is to sense the emotions with focussed awareness, and name them. When we can focus our awareness on

emotional energy in this way, it offers an opportunity for us to turn adversity into an opportunity of learning.

Befriending emotional energy is a further extension of attending to it. In befriending the dark emotions you let them be, not trying to suppress, dispel, avoid, deny or analyse them. Miriam says that befriending emotional energy is about focussing our attention on these sensations and reactions nonjudgementally, allowing the body to feel what it feels and mind to think what it thinks while maintaining a witness consciousness.

Surrendering is about allowing emotional energy to flow to its end point. It means being fully present to emotional energy and letting it pass

through the body until it’s gone. A basic axiom of surrender is that to let it go, you have to let it flow. You can’t fully let go of a dark emotion until you’ve fully experienced its truth.

You surrender not by moving away from what hurts but by moving into what hurts with awareness as your protection. Mindful awareness and acceptance itself is the balm to heal one’s pain and in the process, the poison itself becomes the medicine.

Keep up to date with Saroj on Facebook

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My Story Ingrid Meijerink | Mindfulness & Creatieve Art Therapistat 2003, It was almost Christmas.

We went to pick up our new car – a Jaguar Silverstone XK8. They didn’t produce many of them.

My husband was a rich and famous businessman. At the moment new people met my husband they all liked him. He is good looking and women usually find him very charming. I remember the first day we met. He was well dressed, good looking and talked a lot. I even remembered that after our first conversation I realized that he hadn’t asked me what I did for my living.

Anyway, we got married and our business was growing and growing just like our house. He had a lot of confidence and was very positive about a lot of things.

He always said to me that I had to cheer up more. I tried to be happy all the time.

We had everything so why didn’t I feel happy? We kept buying bigger houses and after a few years, we decided to build our own house that was even bigger. We were very happy – at least that was what I thought. So, we picked up the new car and we drove home. I was afraid of the speed but he enjoyed it very much.

Obviously, he just took care of himself and he wouldn’t consider my feelings.

The car was his joy and toy. Suddenly I started to cry and couldn’t control my emotions anymore. He became angry and told me that I have spoilt his first ride with his brand-new car, his pride!

When we got home, I took a life-changing decision. I called a friend for help. That night I couldn’t sleep. The next morning my husband stood in the door, yelling at me: “if you ever leave me, don’t ever tell the tax authorities what we own. In case you do, I know where I can find you and I’ll take everything you’ve got. He scared me. How did he know what I was thinking and what did he actually mean talking about the tax office?

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I didn’t have a clue. I was so scared and anxious, that I got into my car and left to pick up my son at school. My credit card was all I had with me because I had to pretend nothing had happened and just to pick up my son at school. And that’s what I did. However, this time I didn’t go back home. I drove to my friend on the other side of the country, telling my child … that we had to go somewhere for a few days” That night the police phoned me and asked if I had been kidnapped?

They told me, that I hadn’t gone home and that my husband was behaving like a paranoid.” “No!” I said. “I just need some days to think about our future”. “Oh, it’s a private issue, it is? Is all they said.” Yes, it is”.

This private matter took 13 years of my life. He started to fight like never before with lawsuits and real shootings and pursuits and at the end of this story, I had to let go of my boy. My little boy got completely lost and confused because he had to see his rich father every 14 days and then come back to his poor mother who had to do all she could to make ends meet. The law was on my side but I couldn’t get my son back anymore. They call it a “Salomon offer”.

I had to let go of my son in order to give him the peace, although I knew this was so wrong. The fight got worse and I got very sick. My body reacted to the stress and all the energy that these years and the loss of my son had created. But after every end, there is a new beginning”!

In 2016 I was watching John Assaraf’s Brain-A-Thon program on Facebook.

This was the beginning of the change in my life! Meditation and Mindfulness kept my attention. I loved it even though the tears were running over my chin. I had to heal, slowly. Like every other person I made wishes for 2017: I decided to study Mindfulness, which I did, successfully. and so I did – successfully. After that, I

continued doing another study to help other women that have gone through a similar experience. Because of this last study, I found out that my husband and I were actually “sick”, we both had a personality disorder. He had some narcissistic traits and I had a personal dependency disorder. I have learned so much and I understand what to do about it.

In 2019 I went to the Chamber of Commerce to establish my own company. In October I will be 58 but up to this moment, this has been the happiest year in my life. I have started my own business and I’m now able to help others who have fears, burn-out, … and everything else that can stand in the way...! I feel stronger than ever before and I know who I am and why things went this way. I know myself now. I have forgiven the past, embraced the present and don’t think about the future because you don’t know what’s going to happen, the only thing you can be sure about is the present.

I realize that a lot of issues can be solved if you sincerely want to solve them. It is a matter of believing and trust in yourself.

Sometimes you are in a situation where you don’t see anymore what is going on. Of course, it’s also important who’s with you where you grew up and who supported you. Where did you grow up and who supported you? All these factors contribute to who you are “Do you like what you see or do you feel overwhelmed? I’ll help you to rediscover your dreams and get back to who you really are”.

Keep up to date with Ingrid on Facebook

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Self-Image James Roberts | Podcast Host at ‘The Mindset Athlete Podcast’ Former Professional Athlete & Transformation Coach.

So instead of striving for 100%, look inwards and be happy in YOUR skin instead of comparing YOURSELF to others or more importantly to Social Media celebrities.

Something I learned today while working in a local high school.

Malnutrition can cause you to lose YOUR sight and YOUR hearing.

Yes, those are extreme cases.

You might also ask why did I pick the picture (insert) to go with this article, well when I first saw it, I thought it’s not the best picture of me so I shouldn’t share it, but that’s what the majority do on social media.

But its easily done in this day and age due to misconceptions endorsed by celebrities that don’t have the expertise to give out healthy nutritional advice to the masses.

Because of a lack of knowledge, incidences of malnourishment are on the increase, • FAD DIETING • QUICK FIXES • MAGIC PILLS (Fat loss)

So people want to go out and copy this and when they don’t achieve these unrealistic goals, they punish themselves, start to self-loathe and use the words as ‘I don’t deserve it’.

This list could go on and on...

But we need to move away from the idea of PERFECTIONISM.

This is all caused by a mass media representation of the “perfect body” in magazines, tv, social media etc...

Because everyone’s idea of what is classed as ‘Normal’ is going to be different

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However, it shows me being me and being relaxed as I didn’t know the picture was being taken.

So the moral of the story, it doesn’t always have to be perfect to have an impact.

Keep up to date with James at: fitamputee.co.uk & Facebook

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Living POSITIVELY Growing Up in one of the rural areas of Zambia Africa. Winnie Mabena was born with the odds set against her. Born into a culture where the society doesn’t see the value in a girls life seemed unbearable.

Determined to defy the odds she was born into Winnie begins the journey determined to succeed. Suddenly her life takes a drastic near death turn. Life as she knew it would never be the same.

Will Winnie choose to thrive once more or will it be too much to bare and easier to choose death?

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Winnie Mabena

Winnie Mabena is an International Speaker, Author, Trainer, Civil registrar and Founder of The Knowledge Effect, a nonprofit company that is working to empower communities by promoting literacy.

Winnie is currently serving as Board Chairperson for Young Women in Action and for nearly three years she volunteered with Plan as a National Representative for the Youth Advisory Panel for Plan International Zambia. She has participated in various local and international consultation processes especially on ending child marriage and promoting girls rights.

Her tenacity to improve lives is unrelenting thus she uses her life experience so far “ her journey as a girl and living positively” to empower and transform young women like her with knowledge on various issues including promoting education, Surviving HIV/AIDS, ending child marriage, mentorship, living a rural community, and literacy. Winnie envisions a world where people are fully empowered with knowledge to live above social problems through promoting literacy.

56 | OneTribeMagazine.com

Her favorite quote goes by Nelly Ray “I know what giving up looks like, I want to see what happens if I don’t give up”. Her dream is to grow into a voice for the voiceless at a global level. To get to her dream Winnie keeps investing in her education and she currently pursuing her professional course in teaching methodology.

She holds a Bachelor of Arts Double Major Degree in Library and Information Science and Public Administration alongside a Diploma in Management Studies from the University of Zambia.

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Scotland and Andy are waiting for you right now to begin the next exciting chapter of your incredible life.

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