She Magazine - December 2008 by Allen OnlySC

Glossy

11/17/08

12:47 PM

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Dr. Horger’s love of high-tech has made him an exceptional urologist.

Coming from a family of physicians, Dr. David Horger has always had the utmost respect for the medical profession. After 10 years in jobs that included aerospace engineer, construction manager and computer consultant, it was his deep desire to do something more meaningful that persuaded him to become a urologist. Considering the broad range of advanced techniques and treatments needed to examine, assess and treat the often complex problems of the urinary system, his specialized, project-oriented experience will serve him very well. As the ﬁrst and only urologist to join McLeod Physician Associates, Dr. Horger looks forward to welcoming new patients to David C. Horger Urology. In his new practice, he will be caring for patients in the oﬃce with Drs. L. Thomas Barnett and W. Wallace Vaught, Jr. He will also be caring for patients at McLeod Medical Center Dillon.

Now Accepting New Patients David C. Horger Urology David C. Horger, MD McLeod Medical Plaza 800 East Cheves Street, Suite 350 Florence, SC 29506 843-665-2000 www.McLeodHealth.org

Glossy 3

11/19/08

3:57 PM

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Adorn Yourself With Exquisite Style This Holiday Season

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Glossy 4

11/17/08

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11/19/08

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11/21/08

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11/21/08

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Enjoy life. Worry Free. When it comes to matters-of-the-heart, our team of dedicated, highly skilled doctors are here to offer you the very best of care - w i t h o u t s k i p p i n g a b e a t . •Our physicians are dedicated & specialize in the treatment & management of various disease entities. •Our office is equipped with the most modern technology and evaluations on site. •Our staff are well trained & specialized in the care of the cardiac patient. Together with your primary care physicians we strive to maintain continuity of care; with the patients’ best interest in mind. Invasive/Non Invasive Cardiology • Interventional Cardiology Electrophysiology • Nuclear Cardiology • Sleep Lab Our Specialized Staff: Alan M Blaker, MD, FACP, FACC

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Pee Dee Cardiology Associates, P.A. Caring for the Hearts of the Pee Dee. www.peedeecardiology.com 901 E. Cheves St. • Suite 600 • Florence • (843)667-1891 • 3485 Mitchell St. • Loris • (843)756-7029 4000 Hwy. 9 E. • Suite 255 • Little River • (843)390-0881 • 201 Cashua St. • Darlington • (843)393-7452

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There’s plenty to love about Pee Dee Gardens! Call Shannon Berg and inquire about our friendly assisted living today! Call today for a confidential assessment and tour. Our Assisted Living is a snapshot of the top of the line...where it feels like family and where you know your loved one will be in the best care. We feature professional staff and the best living accommodations for your family member. At Pee Dee Gardens, your loved one is in the best of hands. 3117 West Palmetto St. • Florence • 843-667-6699

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11/25/08

9:35 AM

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The Best Christmas

Special Features 76

Alice Baker

Scarlett Knight

80-81 Tami Clabo

Ever!

In Every Issue

Marian LeGette Josey

Pat Huff

Berta Turner

How-To Guide

Party

Letter from the Editor

100

Shop: Cindy Lesesne

She mail

102

Give: Linda Gremillion

Style File

104

Travel: Teresa Semmler

106

Relax: Latrelle Fowler, RN, PhD

In His Own Words Ed Love

108

Decorate: Shannon McGillivray

She Wants to Know

Chicks of the Month Carolina Dental in Hartsville

Chick Lit

She’s Closet

Beauty Buzz

Women at Work Beth Twedell

Melodie Griffin Home Is Where the Tuba Is

Jessie Tanner, MEd, LPC When Christmas Isn’t Merry

Wings for the Spirit by Sherry S. Page Atkinson

Jumana A. Swindler Destination: Christmas!

What Advertisers Think Sweet Serenity

Anna K. Pitts Decorating Christmas the Right Way!

70 44

Paige Thomas From Full House to Empty Nest

Sandra Honaker My Favorite Christmas Song

94 48

Beth Grant The Happiest Christmas of All

Candice Puccio My Santa

134 52

Leigh Clary Abdou “O Little Town of Bethlehem”

Marti Miller The Christmas Witch

136 54

Sharon Bixler Living Lights

Shelby Ard Is Crazy ‘Bout Christmas

144

Cookie Cawthon The Unopened Gift

146

Jennie Simpson The 3 Christmas Trees

62 68

Wee She Meredith Scott

118-130

The World According to Laurie Thomy

Annie at Home

Shop Talk Mary Janice Cooper

Purse Strings John Floyd

112

There She Goes

116

And She Cooks,Too!

132

Annual Gift Guide

Sheroes The Sir-Vey

142

Campus Chick Kelsey Norton

148

Who’s That Girl? Carolina Smith

Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC The Sanity Clause

Medical Experts

Daphne Areepanthu 138

Contributing Writers

Dr. Mamdouh Mijalli

What You Need to Know about Breast Cancer

Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD Giving with Little Hands

Eric S.Weinstein, MD ‘Tis the Season: Sniffles, Sneezes and Suggestions

114

J. Marshall Dent, III, MD Women,Weight and Hormones

11/25/08

12:36 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 13

She

M e l ia a Flowers Berry

You Have a Choice When It Comes To Rehabilitation.

Publisher/Editor editor@shemagazine.com

Tuesday Taylor General Manager

we are

Advertising & Graphic Design

HEALTHSOUTH REHABILITATION HOSPITAL

tuesday@shemagazine.com

Dresden Tucker Graphic Design dresden@shemagazine.com

Leigh Clary Abdou Production Manager Advertising & Design leigh@shemagazine.com

Heather Frick Jessica Moore Beverly Kelly Ray Gasque

She

- Intern

It’s always nice to have a choice. Yet, when you compare facilities, there’s really only one choice for rehabilitative care - HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital. Patients and families trust the expert knowledge and compassionate care HealthSouth offers, along with:

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mail

E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571 Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line

take us home For a copy to be placed in your mailbox, send a check or money order for $32 to the above address for a year's subscription.

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She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we deem inappropriate for the publication. Contributions are welcome and can be sent via e-mail or snail mail. Please include name, address and contact number. You will be

•Free Assessment Clinic (Call for an appointment) •Two Board Certified Physical Medicine Physicians, providing 24 hour coverage

contacted if we decide to print your submission. Content must be received by the 10th for the following month's publication. Letters to the Editor are welcome; however, they may require editing due to space limitations. The design, editorial and photo content in

She Magazine and may not be reproduced without written permission by the She Magazine is a registered trademark.

She is 900 East Cheves St. • Florence, SC 29506 843-679-9000

11/24/08

5:14 PM

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December 2008

THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

“Where is the joy?” I ask myself. The answers wave eager hands in my memory. “I’m over here! I’m over here!” they yell, each trying to get my attention.

Months ago when I chose the theme for this issue, “THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER,” I did not consider the fact that I could be facing what may unfold as my saddest Christmas ever. As I have shared in previous letters, my daddy has been ill for some time now and as I write this from his hospital room, I am faced with the reality that he may not be with us for Christmas this year. It is the Saturday before Thanksgiving and I had planned to put up my Christmas tree and decorate because I love having Thanksgiving dinner with the presence of Christmas all around. Since they have gotten older, my children argue that we shouldn’t decorate so early because it “skips over Thanksgiving.” I disagree. I think it makes the day even more special when our home is wrapped in the warm glow of Christmas lights and we’re reunited with all the special ornaments and decorations we have collected over the years. Today has revealed itself to be in stark contrast to the way I had planned. Instead of decking the halls to the sound of my new favorite Christmas music (1940’s Big Band), I’m sitting in a chair in the corner of my daddy’s hospital room. Replacing Christmas carols is the constant gurgle of water in the oxygen device, oddly mimicking the water bubbling from a brook and somewhat like a store-bought waterfall. Other than that, the room is quiet as I try to tap lightly on laptop keys so as not to disturb my DaDa. Even as he sleeps, weak moans and groans flow from his lips and pierce my soul. He is suffering and my heart is breaking. “Where is the joy?” I ask myself. The answers wave eager hands in my memory. “I’m over here! I’m over here!” they yell, each trying to get my attention. Yelling high above the rest is a memory that I wrote about in my December 2003 Editor’s letter. It was about my DaDa and a little cedar tree that he decorated with me when I was about seven-years-old. I wrote: “My father, whom I lovingly call DaDa, was – and still is – a simple man. He finds pleasure and splendor in nature and those he loves more so than things that can be bought. I will never forget that Christmas – not because of anything that Santa left behind, but because of the time I spent with DaDa decorating a little cedar tree that he had planted a few years earlier. He whistled while we walked the beaten path that led from the home that his kind hands, worn by years of toil, had built. I walked behind him, following the sound of music that flowed from his thin lips – lips I now recognize as my own. Leaves crunched beneath our feet as we made our way down the short distance that seemed like miles. The string of lights he carried in his hands was large, reminiscent of many Christmases past. The bright colors danced and tapped out their melody as they brushed against the side of his ‘dungarees.’ The young cedar tree waited there for us and, with its arms stretched out, welcomed the lights carefully placed by the sweet soul I so admired. Back down the path, we walked – I, in anticipation, and he, carrying the cord that would supply energy to make the little tree shine. And shine, it did! The little cedar tree that lived down the path, adorned with bright lights for a little brown-eyed girl. Hand-me-down eyes, big, dark and full of love. I thank my DaDa so much for decorating that little tree with me and, most of all, for decorating my life with love and joy.”

from the editor

There it was. Just as I had written and tucked away in that beautiful memory, I found the joy. It seems to me that God has a way of equaling things out. Like with joy, for instance. When all is good – family is well and life is going along as planned – we can find joy in the moment. Those are times when (if we take advantage of them), wonderful, happy memories are made – memories that will stand in the gap when times are hard, times such as these. Seeing my DaDa suffer, I am forced to come to a place where I never fathomed I could go, to pray a prayer that I never imagined I could pray. I must abandon my selfish desire to have my DaDa here with me for another Christmas. I must let go of holding on to him in this life because there is a better life waiting for him just over the river. Oh, the joy I feel when I think about his tired, sick body being made new – the pain releasing its grip as he passes from death to life eternal. I am so thankful that Christ Jesus came to earth on that fateful Christmas long ago to make provision for my daddy (and everyone who would accept Him) that we all would have a way out of the sufferings of this life – the way that leads to life eternal. The joy of Christmas is here for us all. If we let it, the light that is the Holy Son of God will shine so brightly in your life and mine that neither sickness, sadness or even death can extinguish it. I do not know what this Christmas will bring for my family and me; but, I do know that if my DaDa is not here with us, he will certainly experience his best Christmas ever as he celebrates the birth of his Savior in His very presence. Imagine that! Knowing that I’m not the only one, I recognize the need to offer a word of help to others who are experiencing the illness or loss of loved ones at Christmas. I asked Jessie Tanner, MEd, LPC, with McLeod Hospice, to talk about this painful subject in “WHEN CHRISTMAS ISN’T MERRY.” Her expertise really helped me and it is my hope that it will help others, as well. This issue is full of helpful ideas to help make this your “BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.” I sought the advice of several professionals for “THE BEST-CHRISTMAS-EVER HOW-TO GUIDE” that offers six pages of helpful hints on “HOW TO: SHOP, TRAVEL, RELAX, DECORATE, PARTY AND GIVE.” After reading the “HOW-TO GUIDE,” you will be ready to relax and catch the Christmas Spirit while reading this month’s feature stories in which six readers share the memories of their “BEST CHRISTMAS EVER.” “It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” – lyrics from one of my favorite Christmas songs and how true they are, indeed. It is my Christmas wish for all of you that you will be blessed with peace and that the love of family and friends will be all around you as you celebrate this wonderful season. As I am, may you be warmed by the memories of Christmases past, filled with the joy of Christmas present and comforted by the hope of many, many Christmases future. Merry Christmas! Enjoy this issue . . . It’s a woman thing.

- Melia Flowers Berry

11/24/08

1:17 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 15

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11/21/08

4:45 PM

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She mail

I just love She Magazine! It is a wonderful magazine and I look forward to the many articles and information every month. I always manage to find a copy and enjoy every minute of it. Keep up the good work! Sincerely, Gracie K. Cahill-Hook Lake City The November issue of She Magazine looks great! I got a copy Saturday and I can’t seem to put it down. There’s so

Dear She, Thanks so much for includ ing the pictures of my friends and me in “The re She Goes” in November’s issue of She . She Magazine traveled across the ocean and visite d many places with us. I plan to mail copies of the November issue to my friends in Athens, Georgia. She Magazine is super – and su perior to the magazines I see in my trav els. The editor and staff are to be commended for such a great treat that we ladies receive every month . (I know men who also enjoy She Magazine.) Th anks to all of you for ever ything that is shared with us. God Bless you all, Ritta Hennecy • Marion

much to read and so little time to do so.

Vanessa Huggins Florence I enjoyed reading “Generation to Generation” by Paige Thomas in the November issue of She. I know Paige and her friend, Simms Player, personally. Their mothers were great ladies and did a lot of wonderful things for the community. I also wanted to point out that Simms’ late father was “Captain Jim” on Spaceship G-8 on WBTW when we were young. Keep up the good work,

She

Magazine!

Anne Goff • Florence

I am so touched by the response I have received from the “I Am a Survivor” feature in October, 2008’s “Breast Cancer Awareness” issue of She Magazine. I never expected this enthusiastic reaction from so many friends. In addition to the page that you created, Collin Smith did a great job with the photography. Many young people have been touched by your efforts to push breast cancer awareness, as seen in my students. Thanks,

She

Magazine is awesome! Each article reaches down to the very core of one’s soul. It’s refreshing (considering our world today) to open a magazine and read articles concerning faith, hope and love. A

She Fan,

Robin Hunsucker • Marion I like EVERYTHING about She Magazine! I have been an avid reader since your first edition and I ALWAYS look forward to reading She! Hats off to you and your staff for such a successful magazine!

Starr Ward • Florence LaTonya F. Parker Johnsonville, SC

We’d like to hear from you! Send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com or mail us at 609 N. Main St. Marion, SC 29571

11/24/08

11:54 AM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 17

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11/24/08

11:56 AM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 19

In harmony with the rich traditions of living in the south, The Carolinian Retirement Community blends independence, southern charm and personal service to create retirement living at its best. An ideal lifestyle has been designed for those 55 and older wishing to enjoy the simple pleasures of worry-free living. Comfort, modern conveniences and personal services make troublesome chores a thing of the past. You can truly enjoy your retirement years among friends relaxing, reading, traveling or exercising as you leave the maintenance, cooking and housekeeping to us!

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11/24/08

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Home is where the

TUBA is by Melodie Griffin

“

Is anyone thinking what I’m thinking? That a tuba and an apartment complex don’t mix?

I love Christmas. Love it love it love it! My special little guy, Jonathan (with Down Syndrome) agrees with his Mom that this is definitely the most wonderful time of the year. Jonathan doesn’t have a strong concept of “calendar”, but at the very first cold snap, he begins asking about Christmas. Over and over and over. Hence, begins the annual countdown. We are on the yuletide home stretch now and the excitement meter in the Griffin household is tipping the scale, for sure. Only one problem. My little family is a bit “displaced” this Christmas season. We moved to a different city recently and are living in an apartment while we try to sell our house. Having downsized our living quarters over 1000 square feet, we are officially out of elbow room. Our current journey of “togetherness” is proving to be an exercise in self control, to say the least. It’s a good thing that Santa is making a list and checking it twice. No matter how much nesting I have done in our new, space-challenged abode, it just isn’t home yet. It sort of feels like we are on an extended stay at a hotel. Who wants to have Christmas at a hotel? I mean, the song doesn’t say “I’ll be in Room 1225 for Christmas” – it says I’ll be HOME for Christmas! I remember my very first Christmas as a married woman. It took place in a tiny little apartment that didn’t feel at all like home yet. We were dirt dumb poor college students, but all we needed was love. Okay, love and a Christmas tree. So, off we went to find our tree! We were so excited about picking out the perfect tree…until we saw the price tags! Good grief, they were expensive. I was heartbroken, because a real live tree was such a big part of my Christmas as a child. Hours into our search for forestry perfection, and cold, red noses to show for it, we had found a Christmas tree that we newlyweds could afford. Alright, so it was more like a Christmas bush. A spruce pine that stood all of 3 feet tall. Not a Frasier fir, but not bad for five bucks. Charlie Brown would be proud. I adorned our beloved tree with a plethora of red and white gingham bows and some leftover ornaments my Mom had given me from my childhood. It was a beauty. Suddenly, that apartment felt a lot more like home.

”

This year we’ve had to be equally creative to make our new pad feel like home. Our own special tree that we drag out from the garage each year (yeah, I succumbed to the ease of the artificial) and all of our cherished ornaments were a great start. As we unwrapped each tree adornment as though they were presents in and of themselves, we played “remember when” and laughed about the stories that were hidden in each of them. Hanging the stockings was such a treat, too! While we don’t have a mantle this year, we decided that the high bar in the kitchen/dining room was the perfect home for our special socks. I just love to watch the eyes of each of my children as they try to imagine what treasures will stuff each crevice. And speaking of “stuffing”, we’ve been sure to do the ample amount of cooking and baking for the holiday season. Those cookies that come in a tube can be quite the culinary challenge, but when sprinkled with colored sugar, they are sure to please! And last but not least, I’ve assured the kids that Santa will know that we have moved. My middle school daughter, Meredith, wants a digital camera (pink, of course) under the tree. My second grader, Savannah, has visions of a cell phone dancing in her head, but will probably have to settle for some new Hot Wheels cars, army gear, and Barbies. A creative combination, don’t ‘ya think? Jonathan has quite the interesting request for the man in the big red suit this year. He has decided that he wants a tuba for Christmas. Yes, you read right. A tuba. Jonathan already has a trumpet and a trombone. It seems only fitting that he would top his collection with the crown jewel. A tuba. Is anyone thinking what I’m thinking? That a tuba and an apartment complex don’t mix? Ah, we’ll have to see what Santa thinks. “Home” is a relative term, I suppose. Give us God’s love, each other, a hefty dose of Christmas nostalgia and we’re good to go. All that and a tuba is more than any family could ask for.

Melodie Griffin recently moved all the way from the Pee Dee to the Midlands of SC due to a family job change. She travels the country to speak, sing, and share hope.

11/21/08

3:45 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 23

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May your Christmas Twas the month before Christmas and all through the store were visions of beautiful clothing and shoes galore little red dresses (and black ones too) danced and pranced with the perfect little shoe a cashmere scarf here, a dazzling accessory there so much to give, so much to wear weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re celebrating the season that Christ came to earth to bring hope to the hopeless with His lowly birth to our customers and friends we merrily express glad tidings of joy and abounding happiness, Merry Christmas!

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photography by Collin M. Smith

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11/24/08

5:28 PM

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my best

Christmas ever

IN HIS OWN WORDS

My best Christmas ever has yet to come. For those who know my family, you know that Ashley and I are expecting a son. Ashley has been pressing me to name him; so, as a surprise to her, I will announce that his name is Jacob Carl Love. (Do not fret; we have spent hours discussing possible names and I know this one to be an approved choice). Like his father, he will be the youngest of three boys. We are told he will be born on January 10, 2009 and that is why my best Christmas has yet to come. To me, Christmas has always been about family. I grew up with two older brothers and Christmastime, though hectic, was always a time where we would return home and spend time together. As a family, we celebrated the season – going to pick out a tree, decorating the tree, decorating the house and carrying on the other traditions of Christmas. Christmas Eve, we would go to Calvary for the service and then, we would tour around looking at the decorations all over town. Christmas was one time a year when we could count on everyone being together. Now, my brothers and I each have our own family and each of us has started our own traditions. Though I maintain the memories of my Christmases as a child and try to carry on some of the same traditions, I know that Christmas is no longer about what I want to do; it’s all about the boys. Each year, it seems easier and easier to get caught up in the stresses of the season and adding children into the mix makes it that much more difficult. However, I am constantly reminded that my mother had three sons and was somehow able to make it through Christmas while enabling us to take away from the season more than just a few toys. She enabled us to experience Christmas as a whole. I want to do the same for my boys. I want them to not only enjoy receiving and giving gifts, but I want them to be able to know the true meaning of Christmas and I want them to be able to experience the many events and activities that make Christmas the “most wonderful time of the year.” One measure of success for Ashley and me came just the other day. We were cleaning up and Ashley was putting away some of Andrew’s toys. She was also making efforts to put aside some of them to donate. As you other parents know, when your child catches you during this process, it may not always end pleasantly. Ashley explained to Andrew that not everybody

will be on their family. Explaining facts of life to a four-year-old is never easy and I admire Lori and Sollie. I pray for their continued efforts while at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and for the ability for them to keep hope and enjoy this season with Kole. Fortunately, I have been able to play a small role in helping this family and I have done so because I know that I, too, would need help if faced with their challenges. The feelings that surface in watching this community rally around the Millers are feelings of goodness and kindness. These are feelings of Christmas.

ED LOVE gets to have toys and she was putting those toys aside for other boys and girls who do not have toys. Andrew looked at her and asked if he could help. He, too, wanted to give toys to other boys and girls. He began going through his toys and as he would pick one up, you could see his mind racing as he thought about when he last played with that toy, would it make a good present or would he miss it. It was a pleasure to watch and a pleasure to learn of his willingness to share with others. I am truly blessed for the gifts I have received and for the family that I have. We all are. This holiday season, my mind and heart will be heavy with thoughts of the Miller family. For those unfamiliar, Kole Miller is a four-yearold who attends McLaurin Elementary and has recently been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. I cannot help but think how trying this Christmas

I find it difficult to write about Christmas without incorporating some of the familiar clichés; however, Christmas truly is a season of sharing. I have grown to realize that my memories are not special because of the silly traditions I shared with my family growing up or that I share with my family now; but rather, the memories are special simply because we were all together sharing them as a family. This year, when finances may not be what they have traditionally been, don’t take for granted the blessings bestowed upon you. Remember to look around and enjoy Christmas for the joyful season it is. Celebrate the togetherness that is Christmas and, remember, our BEST CHRISTMAS EVER has yet to come.

Ed Love is an attorney with Willcox Law Firm in Florence. He and his wife, Ashley, live in Florence. They have two children, Andrew and Henry, and are excitedly awaiting the arrival of their third son, Jacob, due on January 10, 2009.

11/24/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 27

May Your Smile be White

Cosmetic Dentistry Zoom2 Chairside Whitening Root Canal Therapy Crown & Bridge Non-surgical Perio Program

RICHARD L. NASH, D.D.S., P.A. 2001 Hoffmeyer Road • Shops of 7 Oaks • Florence • 843.292.0150 444 North Guignard Drive • Sumter • 803.775.1209

FAMILY & COSMETIC DENTISTRY 1507-A Heritage Lane • Huntington Executive Suites Florence, SC • 843-665-4477

11/24/08

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“Have you ever Regifted?”

“Absolutely not! I like to give gifts that I would like. I wouldn’t want someone to regift me!”

Catrice Frieson Lake City

“No, I have never regifted. Even if I can’t use it, I wouldn’t give it away because if someone thought enough of me to buy a gift for me, then I would keep it – if only for sentimental reasons.”

Joni Leviner Dillon “Yes! One Christmas, we were given a beautiful platter as a gift. On the way home, a friend called and asked us to drop by. We rewrapped the platter in extra paper that was in the car and gave it to her. It was a great platter and I often wish I still had it.”

Elaine Dean Florence

“Yes, I have regifted bath and body products that I had too much of or didn’t like the scent.” Leanne Luskin Effingham

“No I havent. I will say that alot of things that have been given to me are not me, but just the time that has been taken and thought that want into the gift makes it so very special and I do appriciate it!”

Laura Poston florence

11/21/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 29

d n u o s a r t l U D

s e t a c i f i t r e C Gift ea d i t f i g t c rfe e p ” e r u t c s! m o A “pi m t n a t for expec

901 East Cheves Street, Suite 200 • Florence, SC • 843.662.2299 • www.advancedwomenscare.com

Gifts for All Your Sports Fans!

Up to

50% off Nike & Under Armour Women and Mens Apparel and Sport Accessories

Clemson/Carolina Gifts and Accessories (other teams available)

Sports Equipment Your Hometown Sports Store Since 1971

including the Easton Stealth Bat and the Louisville Omaha Pro TPX Glove

Locally Owned and Operated • Open 7 days a week 1521 Second Loop Rd • Florence, SC • 843-667-5000

11/25/08

2:07 PM

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HICKS

of the

ONTH

Shannon Howell, Danette New, Terri King and Wendy Parrott

n a letter to She Magazine, Shannon

Howell, with Carolina Dental in Hartsville, wrote:

Dental Hygienist, two Dental Assistants

necessary to render the most thorough

and one Administrative Assistant.

and effective treatment possible.

Working in a small office, team-

In conclusion, we are four hard-

`The “Fabulous Four” ladies of our

work is a necessity. We know that in order

working, determined women who love

office should definitely be She Magazine’s

to give our patients the best quality care,

what we do. At the end of the day, we

next “Chicks of the Month.” We are a team

we all must work together. We are always

know that we have given our patients the

of caring dental professionals who believe

there for one another to lend a helping

best quality care and that is why we should

in optimum care and treatment. The four

hand, just like family.

be the “Chicks of the Month.”

chicks that make up the office include a

The team takes whatever time is

She Magazine & Chick-Fil-A salute the staff of

Carolina Dental in Hartsville

If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of She Magazine and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In and Florence Darlington Tech locations, send a brief e-mail telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the Month to: editor@shemagazine.com

11/24/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 31

Treat your pet this Christmas with only the best! Specializing in

Natural and Holistic Pet Food & Supplies for Dogs and Cats!

Visit our DO-IT-YOURSELF PET WASH Shampoo and Towel Supplied - Only $8 per Pet

423 A-2 S. Cashua Drive • Florence, SC (located between 5 Points and Second Loop Road on Cashua Drive)

843-661-1027

2151F W. Evans St. Florence, SC 843-662-0971 62 Public Square Darlington, SC 843-395-2252 532 Bultman Dr. Sumter, SC 803-778-2479 1970 E.Hwy 76 Marion, SC 843-423-2492 205 Kelly St. Lake City, SC 843-394-1494 104 N. MacArthur Ave Dillon, SC 843-774-9243

11/25/08

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Chic k Lit What’s on

Julie Vaught’s Best-Seller List? There’s Something About Christmas by Debbie Macomber

mma Collins, a small-town Washington reporter for the Puyallup

Emma tastes the thrice-married barmaid’s liquor-laden concoction, the

Examiner (her local paper), doesn’t particularly like Christmas

tender-hearted widow’s chocoholic dream and the struggling young moth-

and she hates fruitcake. Nonetheless, her first real assignment

er’s no-bake graham-cracker confection.

for the paper is to interview the three finalists for the best fruit-

cake recipe. (Fruitcake recipes are included in the book.)

While she tries (in print) to capture lessons learned from the three cooks, Oliver’s plane is grounded by a snowstorm. Emma and

Oliver Hamilton (who is doing the flying in exchange for free

Oliver kiss, she gets thrown out of her apartment trying to rescue a stray

advertising) flies Emma to different parts of Washington State. Despite

dog, he falls in the water trying to rescue her and she decides Christmas

her fear of flying, Oliver takes her to Yakima, Colville and the San Juan

isn’t as bad as she thought. It all adds up to another tale of romance in

islands to meet three women who all figure that when life gives you

the lives of ordinary people with a message that life is like a fruitcake –

lemons (or anything else), make fruitcake.

full of unexpected delights. Oh, Emma also learns to love fruitcake.

Julie Vaught is the Teen Librarian at Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library. She is originally from Galivants Ferry but now lives in Florence. Although she is single, she has her mother, father, sister and brother-in-law to visit.

11/24/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 33

Escape the stress of the holiday with a BeautiControl SPA. A great gift for you and your best friends. Complimentary spa treatments for all! Call today to schedule your ‘SPA TIME’.

905 North Cashua Dr • Florence, SC • 8 4 3 - 6 7 3 - 0 0 0 7 Delta • MOEN • DANZE • MTI Whirpools • Blanco Sinks Bionic Vessels • TOTO • GERBER • American Standard

Pattie Hudson Director and Independent Consultant

Opportunities Available

www.beautipage.com/bc-pattie-party 901-B Santiago Rd • Florence, SC • (843) 617-2902

Give them the very best .

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Holiday Open House 4120 Rodanthe Circle, in Wedgewood Sub. off Pine Needles Rd., Florence

Saturday, Dec. 13 10 AM to 4:00 PM Sunday, Dec. 14th 2:00 to 5:00 PM We are offering these Great specials and many others all month long!

• Deep Holiday Discounts on any new hearing aid during the month of December

Empanada Maker Set $ only 10

We will match any locally advertised hearing aid price!

Wonderlier 3 pc. Bowl Set $ only 17.25

To buy or sell contact:

BUY 1 PACK OF BATTERIES GET 1 PACK FREE! exp. 12/31/08

DR. LESLEY KIRBY, AuD

MJ Cooper 843-662-1684 www.my.tupperware.com/mjcooper

• Complimentary Demonstrations of the Beltone Reach hearing instruments

Madagascar Children’s Items

522 W. Palmetto St. • Florence • 662-4327 111 Matthews Rd. • Lake City • 866-845-3635 540 West Bobo Newsom Hwy • Hartsville • 843-662-4327

11/25/08

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Where’s the Party? A

What to wear to the little Get-together, the Office Party and the Big Bash!

A Mandalay Beaded Ruched Dress in Beige

C Fuschia Mini Sweater Dress with Accent Bow

HEYWARD + HANNA, FLORENCE

FLOSSIE MAE’S, HARTSVILLE

B Black dress by Vineyard Vines

D Tiger Print Peep-toe Pumps with Fuschia Buckle

MINNIE’S GIFTIQUE, HARTSVILLE

FLOSSIE MAE’S, HARTSVILLE

11/21/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 35

Our CARE Team (Compassionate And Reliable Experts)

includes: • • • •

Physician Registered Nurse Chaplain Certified Nursing Assistant

• Licensed Master of Social Work • Volunteers • And many others

Ascension Hospice is a family-owned and operated hospice agency serving terminally ill patients across South Carolina. We bring to our patients and their families the same personal attention and care we would for our own families.

1303 W. EVANS S FLORENCE, SC (843) 468-9700 7142 WOODROW ST. • IRMO, SC • (803) 796-9296

11/25/08

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Decorating Christmas the Right Way!

On cold nights, I step out of the car, peer up at the heavens and I am amazed by the clarity of the night, the brightness of the stars in winter. Even the clouds seem to have sharper edges, definite beginnings and ends. I’ve come to look forward to dropping temperatures for many reasons and that is one of them. Some of my most cherished personal memories and revelations have been affirmed underneath those clear, crisp skies. There’s no haze, no limited visibility; everything is splayed out across the deep midnight backdrop for every eye to see. When my thoughts or my heart feels clouded over or unsure or fretful, I can find a certain precious peace by looking up and remembering that the night sky is my favorite promise of Heaven. Of course, as I write this, I’d like to say that I’m looking up into just one of those clear, cold winter night skies. Instead, the temperatures topped out at seventy-seven today with a low of only sixty-five tonight. The air is humid and heavy with waiting clouds that threaten rain. Sitting outside in a T-shirt and jeans, it doesn’t feel much like fall at all, much less winter. But, the season has only just started and I’m sure there will be many more nights of near-freezing before spring comes again. So many of us are experiencing hardships in our lives this year. Some will pass, some may not. Many will most likely get worse before they get better. Knowing that the stars will not shine every single night is part of life and part of what makes us more thankful when we glimpse a sky that is riddled with millions of tiny bursts. This year, more than any other before it, there is a need inside me to cherish the moments made this season. I have been given another year of chances to add new memories with my family and my loved ones now to those I have stored and saved from some twenty-six years passed. New traditions are taking shape and I cannot help but be excited about mixing the old with the new and sharing some of my favorites with those precious little ones who have entered our lives. The past few years, Mama and I have forgone many of our traditional goo-gobs of ribbons and bows in the name of remodeling projects – both in our lives and in our house. We have picked through the boxes to find only those things that must go up – those that are pertinent to making our holidays seem normal. This year, we have decided to do the same, realizing that the ultimate gift for all of us would be to finish the painting and molding and get our furniture back in place. For once, this year, I’m not too concerned with whether or not the tree goes up and the lights get strung. I’d much rather spend the extra free time baking cookies with the new mothers in my life, spending time with Brandon in front of a fire with a good Christmas movie and chatting with Mama while we wrap presents across the kitchen table, battling to see whose is the prettiest. I want to surround myself with remembering – finding my spirit among the many wonderful memories of Christmases past and adding to them the joy of Christmas present and the hope of Christmases yet to come.

by Anna Pitts

Although, now, many of the decorations are yellowed and too fragile to display anymore, the ones I remember having from back in the day were pretty and new and I loved to set them up each year as we took them out of their boxes. Mama and I would carefully unwrap and unravel, placing every item in its respective spot just as it had been in the years before. My favorite decorations have always been our display of Christmas books, the lighted church and snow-covered Christmas cottages from the unfinished Christmas village and the miniature figures of Santa and Mrs. Claus kissing in the snow. Mama would let me set them up by filling a small glass globe with sugar and then setting them up inside to face one another. Both were bent with their hands behind their backs and their lips puckered so they appeared to kiss when left alone. I knew that was the real reason why Santa’s cheeks were so red; he was blushing! Each year, I would choose which Christmas cottage would go in my brother’s and my rooms. At night, Mama would come tuck me in and we would make up stories about the little houses and the people who lived in them. The tiny bulb inside cast such a warm light and I would imagine I truly felt the cold of the ceramic snow on the roof and the heat from a crackling fireplace inside the house. Those stories were my favorite part of the days before Christmas and as I’ve gotten older, I’ve shared similar stories with my little friends and babysitting charges. This year, my sweet niece, Larkin, will celebrate her very first Christmas. Brandon’s niece, Jenna, is at an age when she’ll understand a little better what’s going on Christmas morning. In fact, several friends of mine have little ones coming into their first Christmases and I cannot wait to share such stories and traditions with them, as well. It seems that this year I am surrounded by children as I share my storytimes in the libraries across Florence County and look forward to visits with old friends and their new arrivals. (I received word not two weeks ago that yet another friend of mine is expecting a little girl next spring!) Mothers venture into the library to pick out holiday books and I listen excitedly as they share what their play groups are doing this time of year and how their moms’ groups are ministering to others throughout the season. Having more children in my Christmas seems to be allowing me to experience it on a whole new level as Brandon and I browse online and up and down toy aisles for fun ideas.

Anna Pitts lives in Florence where she works at the Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library doing children’s storytimes. She is vigorously pursuing her Master’s Degree in Library Science at USC. Go Gamecocks!

11/25/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 37

We offer an array of cosmetic surgery procedures including:

Breast Procedures, Facial Surgeries, Body Contouring & Anti-aging Techniques including Botox and Juvaderm! Spa services are now available including facial waxing and microdermabrasion.

Holiday Gift Certificates Available

AAAHC Accredited Surgical Facility Board Certified American Academy of Facial Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery Board Certified Anesthesia Providers

1540 American Drive. • Florence, SC • 317.9999 • 1.866.646.5644 www.lucascosmeticsurgery.com

11/24/08

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What You Need to Know About Breast Cancer Dr. Mamdouh Mijalli

by Dr. Mamdouh Mijalli, McLeod General Surgery Dillon Know the Facts •

One in seven women born today will learn she has breast cancer at some time in her life. • In South Carolina, breast cancer is the second leading cause of death among women in the state. • Also in South Carolina, more African-American women die each year of breast cancer than any other cancer. • Overall, the breast cancer mortality rate is 1.5 times higher in African American women and they are twice as likely to die within the first five years of diagnosis.

Know Your Body Symptoms of breast cancer include: • A lump or mass in the breast, which may be painless or tender, soft or hard, uneven or rounded • A swelling of part of the breast • Skin irritation or dimpling • Nipple pain or the nipple turning inward About Mamdouh Mijalli, M.D. • Redness or scaliness of the nipple or breast skin Dr. Mamdouh Mijalli is a highly trained • Nipple discharge and experienced surgeon with the advanced technological experience and • A lump in the underarm compassion to address patients’ surgical needs. Board certified in General Surgery, Know About he specializes in minimally invasive surgical Mammography procedures, including laparoscopic Women throughout the surgeries that enable patients to return to their normal routines more quickly with region are encouraged to take less pain. charge of their health by having a Dr. Mijalli received both his degree in screening mammogram. Dillon medicine and Master Degree in Surgery from Cairo University, where he graduated and Darlington counties are with honors in 1997. He completed an among the top counties in the internship and residency at Cairo University state in breast cancer mortality. Hospital. Six years prior to coming to Dillon, However, these counties are not Dr. Mijalli worked among New England's among the highest for breast cancer most outstanding surgeons. He completed a cardiothoracic surgery incidence. This means women are not fellowship and a general surgery residency being diagnosed early or undergoing at Yale-New Haven Hospital in Connecticut. the appropriate treatment for breast He then served as Chief Resident of General Surgery at Maine Medical Center cancer. in Portland, Maine. Mammography is one of Dr. Mijalli is accepting new patients. For the most important techniques more information, call McLeod General that doctors use to detect breast Surgery Dillon at (843) 841-3846.The practice is located on the McLeod Medical cancer. A mammogram allows for Center Dillon campus at 705 N. 8th detection of problem areas even Avenue, Suite 2B.

before they can be felt in a breast self-exam. Finding breast cancer earlier means there is less lymph node involvement, which allows more women to take advantage of breast conservation. Digital Mammography is a new state-of-the-art technology that provides clearer and more detailed images. A digital mammogram can also detect some lesions which may be missed by a traditional film system.

Know About Diagnostic Testing Surgeons rely on diagnostic testing to discover when lymph nodes are involved in cancer -- these are called positive lymph nodes. In large medical studies, there seems to be a connection between the number of lymph nodes involved and how aggressive the cancer is. The sentinel lymph node is the first lymph node to contain the quickly multiplying cancer cells. Through a sentinel lymph node biopsy, a doctor can determine how many of the lymph nodes are positive and then recommend the appropriate cancer treatment. If the biopsy indicates that the sentinel lymph node is negative for cancer, there isn't a need for the patient to undergo additional, more invasive surgery.

Know Your Options Most women have a lumpectomy with radiation or a mastectomy with or without reconstruction. Based on the actual tumor, chemotherapy may also be required.

Know Your Screening Locations Annual mammograms are recommended for women beyond the age of 40. However, if you are at high risk for breast cancer, or have a strong family history of breast or ovarian cancer, it is recommended that you receive annual mammograms at a younger age. Discuss the appropriate age with your doctor. Digital Mammography is available at each McLeod campus including Florence, Darlington and Dillon. The McLeod Mobile Mammography Unit takes digital mammogram screenings to women. The Mobile Mammography Unit is available to businesses, industries, health care facilities and health fairs throughout the Pee Dee Region. To schedule the Mobile Mammography Unit to come to your business, please call the McLeod Radiology Department at (843) 777-5657. How to Schedule a Mammogram: To schedule an appointment at one of our three McLeod campuses, please call McLeod Reservations and Scheduling at (843) 777-2095.

Dr. Mijalli enjoys soccer and fishing. He and his wife, Rania, live in Dillon and have two sons, Jacob and Benjamin.They attend First Baptist Church of Dillon.

11/20/08

11:52 AM

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11/25/08

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Edward O’Dell, MD and Mary Daniels, LRC-CMA Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center & Medical Skin Care Solutions

She Magazine asked Edward O’Dell, MD, and Mary Daniels, LRC-CMA, of Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center,

“How do we get our skin ready for the holidays?”

Everyone wants beautiful, glowing skin for that special holiday event. Whether you need a little boost or something short of a miracle – depending on how much time you have – there are several procedures and products to help. We asked Edward O’Dell, MD, Medical Director, and Mary Daniels, LRC-CMA, Co-Owner of Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center in Florence, to take us through the options. The countdown is on! Get glowing!

One Day:

If you only have one day, I would suggest a Hydradermabrasion, which exfoliates, extracts and hydrates simultaneously. Your skin will have a beautiful healthy glow. If you have a special event one evening, this is the treatment for you.

One Week:

Botox will give you excellent results in one week. You can eliminate your crow’s feet, the lines between your brow and the lines across the forehead.

Two Weeks:

Fillers such as Juvéderm, Radiesse or Restylane give instant gratification. You may experience a little swelling over night and you could get a little bruise if you are taking any medicine which contains aspirin. We very seldom have these issues occur, which is why we say give yourself two weeks prior to an important event that you may be attending.

Three Weeks:

Fraxel Laser treatments will give you the “gold standard” in laser resurfacing of your skin. This treatment will take you back eight to ten years. The downtime is as little as 48 hours.

One Month:

A weekend neck and chin lift will take years off in a matter of a couple hours. This procedure involves little-to-no bruising. You will wear a chin strap for 48 hours and then, it’s business as usual. This has become very popular with our clients. As with any cosmetic procedure that you choose to turn back the hands of time, always remember an anti-aging skin care line will help you maintain your results for years to come. Another important factor is water intake; drink plenty of water during each day as this will also keep your skin hydrated and looking its youngest.

E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like to know more about to editor@shemagazine.com. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.

11/24/08

5:09 PM

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WOMEN AT WORK

BETH TWEDELL

“I think what I like the most about my job is meeting new people and helping them get hooked on quilting, smocking or just sewing.”

I appreciate the opportunity to be featured in She

aging physician practices) and never thought about

job probably is deciding which fabrics I should pur-

Magazine in the “Women at Work” feature because

owning a quilt shop specifically, but I always

chase for the shop, hoping what I order will be what

I still hear from people who say, “I didn’t know

thought it would be great to have my own business.

my customer will like.

there was a quilt shop here!”

I am in my fourth year and have loved every minute

Sew Unique is a quilt shop specializing in

I recently moved into a larger suite next door to my old shop.

of it.

This was a very difficult

quilt fabric and fabrics for smockers. What this

I am a bookkeeper, which is definitely an

undertaking done over a two-week period. With

means is, I carry cotton fabrics that are sold to quilt

advantage to owning a business. I learned to sew

help, we painted one weekend and moved the next.

shops only, not chains or department stores. I like

at a very young age (about three or four), watching

I remained open during the move. It is wonderful

to describe my fabric as comparing 200-count

my mother and I made a lot of my own clothes

having so much room and actually having a class-

sheets to 700-count sheets. My fabric would be the

growing up. My mother was the quilter and I used

room now. I hope to offer some new and exciting

700 count. I also carry Imperial Broadcloth and

to watch her and think to myself that I could never

classes in the future.

Batiste. These fabrics are a high quality poly cot-

do that! I have my first attempt at quilt making

At Christmastime, I try to have more gift

ton blend designed with the smocker in mind.

hanging in my shop – a hobby horse that I made for

items to sell in my shop. I make a towel wrap that

my oldest daughter about thirty years ago. The rest

is a great gift and can be monogrammed. I have

is history.

these for women, men, young ladies and toddlers.

To describe my job, I guess I would say that I am multitasking most of the time. I love mak-

I probably sell more of these than any other item.

ing quilts for others to enjoy, but I also make chil-

There is always something new to learn

dren’s clothing, baby blankets, purses, diaper bags

about quilting and new tools that come on the mar-

We get requests for Christmas smocked dresses.

and I do some decorator sewing, as well as mono-

ket. I think what I like the most about my job is

We sell smocked dresses all year in the shop, as

gramming. Usually my day starts before 8:00 A.M.

meeting new people and helping them get hooked

well as take special orders. Aprons made with a

with monogramming. Once this is finished, then I

on quilting, smocking or just sewing. I have lots of

Christmas theme are fun. I get a feeling of accom-

work on whatever custom orders I might have or I

return customers that have taken classes to learn to

plishment when making items to sell in my shop

will make items to sell in the shop.

quilt from me, as well as others who have taken

for the Christmas season; however, mostly during

Prior to opening Sew Unique, I worked in

classes in sewing and smocking from other teach-

this time, it’s just work, work, work to keep caught

the medical field for thirty years (fifteen years man-

ers in my shop. The most difficult thing about my

up with orders and monogramming.

Beth Twedell and her husband, David, live in Florence. They have two daughters, Marcie and Blythe. They also have two great sons-in-law and four wonderful granddaughters. Beth is the owner of Sew Unique Quilt Shop located at 804H Second Loop Road in Florence.

11/24/08

9:47 AM

Page 1

FROM FULL HOUSE TO

Empty Nest

B Y PA I G E T H O M A S

Six years ago, I met Melia Berry, editor of She Magazine. I actually (maybe) had seen her before as I regularly advertised in She for my shop. We had contact on a business level. Then, one day prior to the holiday season, she stopped in and asked what seemed to be an unusual question,“Can you write?” she wanted to know. The employees in the shop resounded, “Yes!” I was not quite as quick to respond. “Well, I have never written anything professionally; but, yes, I do write – especially if I am familiar with or have something specific to say about a subject – and I love to write letters.” Then, I found out why she wanted to know. She asked if I would pray about writing an article for the December 2002 issue of She Magazine on what it is like to be a single parent over the holidays. What a task – and yet an honor. I had been on my own raising my three boys for over ten years. I should have a lot to say about this particular subject. I knew the pains and heartaches that surround holidays with a divided family and if I were to share my story, I wanted it to touch emotions and hearts in a positive way. I think writing that article did me as much good as it did anybody. As I searched for the things that were good about my holidays (even though there were many things that were not as I wished), I learned that how we look at things can definitely change how we think and feel about them. It is like a saying I read once,“If you don’t like your circumstances, find a different way to think about them.” It hurt that we were not all together as a family, but I tried to rely on the good memories and keep intact the traditions that I had shared with my boys. I wanted things that could be consistent to stay that way and I tried to make new memories and traditions that we could carry with us. Above all, it was still Christmas and the world was celebrating around us. As a new family unit, we needed to enjoy and take part in the celebration. As I look back now over those years as a single parent, I have to smile. The pain gives way to joy as I remember all the things we shared together. Those were some of my best Christmases ever. Instead of going out and chopping down a live tree as we used to, my boys and I went together and picked out an artificial tree that for years was drug from the attic and put together limb by limb. The limb bases were color coded, so it was actually a fun learning experience for us all. The task began with making piles of all the brown limbs, yellow limbs, blue limbs, etc., before we could build our tree. Then, of course, we could decorate the tree with all the ornaments we had collected in years past. I also remember a lot of stockings. I, unlike my mother, found myself changing them quite often. I think my mother had the same stockings hung for my brother and sisters and me our whole lives. I don’t know why I kept changing them, except that when I would see the new ones in the stores, the joy of the season would take over and

I wanted something colorful and new. I remember knitted ones, soft plush ones and even ones that had each of our first initials on them. We had to be in style that year. My most favorite, however, was when I decided to put their names on the new stockings with glitter and right under the name, the character trait that most reminded me of that child. Each one of my boys naturally possessed a fruit of the Spirit and I wanted them to know what I saw in each of them. So, not only did Allen, Austin and Aaron live in our home, so did Gentleness, Goodness and Joy. Once outside, we would string lights on anything we could find. My boys had helped plant some trees in our yard, one of which was a cypress tree. When it first came to live with us, it could have been pegged for Charlie Brown’s tree. Small and skimpy, it took us ten seconds to wrap lights around it. Year after year, it grew and year after year, we had to string more lights. As it got taller, we would have to take stools and ladders out to the yard to reach over the top. In later years, I had to drive my van in front of it and stand on the roof to throw the lights over. The last year the tree was decorated, my Boy Scout children strung up a fishing pole with the end of the lights and cast it over the top of the tree. We laughed at each other a lot during those years and I have to smile at the ingenuity in being determined. Now, that cypress tree stands as tall as the roof of my house and is a perfectly shaped beautiful Christmas tree on its own. It’s good that it is beautiful on its own, especially since the boys are not home as often and don’t always get to make it home on holidays. If anyone had told me that the birth pains of an empty nest could be worse than celebrating holidays as a divided family, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. But, sometimes, it is true. Even though being a single parent over the holidays can be heart-wrenching and confusing and trying to keep life somewhat normal for our children at such times is a tremendous challenge, finding yourself alone again and the house quiet and empty is a huge adjustment. For me, I realize the children are no longer here to protect and they aren’t always here to build memories around. I am being stretched again to alter how I think about my circumstances. As I read my article written six years ago, I am reminded in a good way that the season wasn’t – and never has been – about me. It is Christmas and regardless of what is going on in my life, the world is celebrating around me and I need to be a part of that celebration. My heart goes out to anyone who has been through any major change in life around the holidays. It can be hard. My hope and prayer at this time of year – in whatever circumstance – is that we all would experience His Peace and Presence, Hope and Love, Life and Joy. It is also my hope and prayer that we share these experiences with the family and friends that we do see. Lord, help us to give and trust that it will be given back to us. Have your best Christmas ever!

Paige Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey. She has three grown sons and four stepchildren. She is a Creative Partner for Initials, Inc. and also works with the new Center for the Child at Francis Marion University.

11/21/08

4:03 PM

Page 1

She Magazine • December 2008 • 45

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11/24/08

2:10 PM

Page 1

Giving

with little hands TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN TO RECOGNIZE AND RESPOND TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS

by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD Teaching your children to give to others begins with the proper definition of giving. It is not just about giving a gift on a birthday or working to spend as little money as possible on that obligatory co-worker’s gift. True giving is about grace. Grace, in Christian terms, is the ultimate gift. It is something given freely, not earned. It has no ulterior motive. It is selfless. It cannot be bought or bargained for by the recipient. Grace is a gift more powerful and more loving than any clearance sale item or last year’s toys. Think of concerned and well-meaning parents that force their children to give away some of their old toys before receiving new Christmas gifts. There’s no grace in the coerced gift, the I-don’t-want-to-but-it’s-expected gift, the gift that is designed to nudge the recipient in some way. When we ask our children to give, do we teach them to give with grace? Or is it merely (as it seems to be for most families) a learning experience purchased with old toys without the slightest thought for the comfort, the embarrassment or the feelings of the recipient of discarded toys? How do we teach our children to give – really give? Do we teach them to give in the spirit of grace, to reflect the love which has been poured out so generously upon us; to give with the gratitude of all we have received and yes, perhaps even give more than we could ever expect to receive in return? Consider these suggestions as ways to change your family culture rather than just once-a-year-tips. GIVE AS YOU WOULD BREATHE – NATURALLY AND CONSISTENTLY: Bring giving into your lives all year long. During the holiday season, it is easy to share our good fortune. Food drives and charity functions help us remember the needs of others. People are hungry the other 364 days of the year. Do our children see us model charity and giving from January through November? If not, what message are we sending them – that we should only respond to this need at Christmas time? WHO DO YOU WANT TO GIVE TO?: Do you ever ask your children who they’d like to give to as you’re cramming them into the car to serve Thanksgiving dinner at the shelter? “Pat, who do you want to do something for, someone who you think needs some extra kindness?” Pat, age six, thinks for a moment and says, “Firemen!” Bake lasagna for your local fire department. They do work twenty-four hours a day to keep us safe (and they like to eat from what I hear!). Pat will feel the connection to his giving. It will be his way of giving with small hands and a big heart. Give to organizations that your child in passionate about. It won’t be forced and the pride you’ll see on your child’s face is all the confirmation you’ll need to know that they’ve learned the value of true giving with grace. SHHHH! GIVE WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Jesus, a great Teacher, exposed the fallacy of the ostentatious giver whose abundant charity depends upon whether anyone is watching. A gift given with grace is no gift for which we expect gratitude or appreciation. We give, instead, to relieve need – to share the abundance with which we’ve been blessed and to reflect to others the good that we find in the world. Giving with grace is reward enough. Giving for credit is not giving at all;

it is prideful receiving. I have to admit, secret giving is my most favored. After all, we’ve all been disappointed in the reactions by others after hours were spent picking out or crafting the perfect gift. When my family and I practice secret giving to strangers, we get to imagine for hours how we’ve touched others. It satisfies in a most unexpected way. My husband and I were in front of a young couple farther back in line at Golden Corral and secretly added their two buffets to our bill. We giggled with full hearts as the couple gleefully and curiously accepted the gift when it was their turn to pay. Who knows how that couple paid it forward to another? Who knows why the Lord had us choose that one couple, that one day? Giving in itself is the gift. If you don’t feel that way after giving, you did it wrong! KIDS SHOULD GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS SO GOOD: Give your children the chance to experience sacrifice in order to give. Even a small sacrifice on their part will reinforce a lesson on giving more than any other factor. Giving shouldn’t always be comfortable. Giving shouldn’t be simply about wants, but about needs, as well. No, you don’t want last year’s iPod, but people do need blankets, clothes and your precious time and kindness. We have to realize that we’re raising our children in an instant-access, just-addwater world, where working hard is considered failed delegation. Lessons of giving and needs of others were not always so hard to teach. We, as parents, must make a point to do so. Be aware of your own giving style. Do you sacrifice? Are you personally in touch with your giving or is that annual check written while planning for the tax break? If that is your way of giving, it will be your children’s way of giving, as well. Recently, I’ve begun giving my three-year-old son a three-dollar-a-month allowance (big spender, I know). I told him that we would go to the dollar store once a month for a “shopping spree.” He can spend two dollars on himself, but he must spend the other dollar on someone else. I waited for his protests but did not receive a peep. Now, with our monthly tradition, he runs into the store and searches for the gift to give away first. In fact, several times, he’s spent two dollars on others and one on himself. His last recipient was the cashier at the store. He gave her a ceramic cheerleader because it was pretty like she was. Now you must admit; that story is sweet enough to sweeten your coffee with. But, it’s true – and true of a three-year-old raised in a culture of family giving. It’s really not as hard as we make it out to be to teach our kids. You’ll be surprised and distressed at how much (“You want to give away your Game Boy?!”) and how willing they are to give. THANK YOU!: Be a good receiver; it encourages others to continue the art and grace of giving. So, it’s my turn to thank someone. A delightful young woman named Ann recently thanked me for my She Magazine articles in past months. It never occurred to me that others could benefit from – or thoroughly enjoy – my ramblings. She gave me a secret gift that day – one with no price tag or receipt for return. It rejuvenated my writing spirit and complimented me as a writer, a mother and a woman. Thanks, Ann. You gave with grace.

Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin. She is Psychology Fellow of the Behavioral Health Group, LLC, in Florence and focuses primarily on treating children and adolescents.

11/21/08

4:41 PM

Page 1

The Happiestby BeChristmas of All th Grant

Mulling spices, Christmas lights, flames from the fire and the sounds of our children and grandchildren soothes my soul. On the rare occasion (like Christmas) when our family gets together, I feel a joy like no other. Our home becomes a mass of strewn clothes, soft drink cans, catalogs, shoes and jackets. The usually clutter-free kitchen counter becomes home to snacks, baby food and sippy cups. Monogrammed bags are everywhere with well thought out items to make their trip home comfortable. When you live as far away from the stores as we do, you schedule your menus and trips to town ahead of time. Isn’t it silly to work so hard to get the house in pristine condition before our family and quests arrive only to have it trashed within minutes of their arrival. No one I know would trade a clean house for an empty one, that’s for sure! I really look forward to the Christmas Eve Candle Lighting Service at our church in Bishopville. It is a community event with the Methodists, Presbyterians and Baptist Churches. We fellowship together and enjoy the Christmas message and sing Christmas carols. During the service (in the background) you can hear the sweet voices and cries of children and visiting grandchildren all decked out in their Christmas outfits. The Chrismon tree is all a glory with lights and sparkling from the lovely gold Chrismons on it’s branches. The anticipation of lighting the candles and singing the final carol heightens and soon the crowd’s faces are illuminated by flickering flames. A peace fills the room as the knowledge of our Savior’s precious birth fills the hearts of those in attendance. Everyone smiles as we sing “Silent Night, Holy Night” and as we leave the sanctuary, the moving flames follow with us. The front lawn of the Church is filled with people hugging and Merry Christmas wishes abound. Then off to their cars they go to escape the night’s chill and get home with their families. When our family arrives home we head quickly and change into comfortable clothes. We gather in the kitchen and begin the delicious spread of Christmas goodies (which always includes my famous peanut butter balls). We gather around the den with our plates of Christmas goodies and watch as each person opens one gift (our family’s Christmas Eve Tradition). The grandchildren are then headed to bed but the excitement for the coming morning will not allow them to give in yet and sleep.

The joy of the evening suddenly becomes bittersweet as once again another Christmas Eve comes and goes and my husband is without his sons. After his divorce the boys have spent every Christmas Eve with their mother’s family. We have never had the privilege of having them home with us and the girls for Christmas night and morning. I cannot help but wish for my precious husband that his sons could be here to share just one Christmas Eve with us. The best Christmas for me would be for my Don to have his sons for Christmas. Even though they are grown and one is already married I still pray for a miracle that they will come to the farm to be with their Dad and our family. That would be the happiest Christmas ever. There are many good memories of our precious blended family, one where stories of past mischief and antics still cause a tummy full of laughter. When the boys do come over on Christmas Day and all the children are together I wish I could freeze time and make it stand still for that is when Don and I are the happiest. Then we are reminded that Christmas is a time of renewal and joy. It’s a time to focus on our many blessings and the most wonderful gift of all; a savior who is Christ our Lord. The glory of Christmas; the tiny face of our savior lying in the manger, family, joyful song and delicious holiday food; these are reasons to love Christmastime. I have always loved the magic and the anticipation of Christmas. I enjoy decking the halls and putting up the tree. I love opening cards and hearing from family and friends I have missed through the year. For me Christmas is wonderful, magical and meaningful. At the close of a year that brought rising gas prices and financial hardships along with our uncertainty of the future of our country, we are reminded again of the lowly stable. As the star illuminated the Savior’s sweet face imagine the peace that scene evokes. May your Christmas be filled with a joy that only comes from our holy spirit, Jesus Christ. May the New Year bring you much happiness and good health. Continue to pray for our country and its leaders and remember that God is still in charge. Merry, Merry Christmas to all and a Very Happy New Year!

Beth Grant lives with her husband, Don, on their family farm in Lamar, South Carolina. She is a freelance designer, painter and contributing writer for She Magazine.

11/21/08

4:34 PM

Page 1

‘Tis the Season:

Sniffles, Sneezes and Suggestions by Eric S. Weinstein, M.D.

Children return to school and the leaves change colors.The morning air has a bit of a nip in it, and talk begins of the start of “the flu season.” Between our doctors, employers and our childrens’ schools, we are constantly reminded of the importance of a flu shot. If a television commercial for cold and sinus medication does not catch our eye, there are plenty of websites, magazines or newspapers to remind us that we might get sick soon. While medicine may make us feel well enough to get a few restful hours of sleep or enjoy a bowl of hot chicken soup, the flu shot is everyone’s best chance of avoiding the contagious Influenza virus this winter season. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) report that vaccine manufacturers will produce an all-time high of 143 to 146 million doses of the Influenza vaccine this year. Last winter’s laboratory-proven Influenza cases did not peak until midFebruary 2008 so, if last year is any indication, now is the time for you and your family, friends and neighbors to roll up your sleeves and get that one second sting that will help you to avoid those miserable sick days of winter altogether. The majority of individuals who make the decision not to get vaccinated can withstand symptoms of the flu, despite its discomfort: the typical high fever with bone shaking chills, drenching sweats and muscle aches that feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. Healthy individuals can overcome the possible nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, nasal congestion, constant cough and runny nose. But those with chronic illnesses, debilitating conditions, extremes of age or recent rehabilitation from an injury or surgery may not have a strong enough immune system to muster a response to the havoc the virus can cause. Those individuals should make every effort to get the vaccine, regardless of how tough they think they may be or how afraid they are of a needle. Generally two weeks after receiving the shot, recipients are receiving the full immunity potential of the vaccine.

Virologists, epidemiologists and other experts determine which three strains of the Influenza virus are most likely to be prevalent this year.This information is incorporated into this year’s vaccine, giving the body the best chance to mount an immune response to those three strains. If the strain that actually infects someone is different than the three identified, the body still has a better chance of fighting that virus than someone who had no vaccination. The vaccines from previous years may still provide some protection, utilizing their stored immunity or the ability to recall the specific antibodies that were created in response to that year’s specific Influenza virus strains. The protection for each year’s strains lasts approximately one year, so there is still plenty of time to boost your immune system for this year. Along with getting vaccinated, universal precautions should be used on a daily basis to ward off the contraction of most viruses and bacteria.There is no time like the present to renew this commitment to your family, co-workers and yourself. Hand-washing is the single most important ritual that can prevent the transmission of viruses between people, as respiratory droplets containing the Influenza virus (and other viruses and bacteria) can last for hours on surfaces such as the office telephone, a shared computer keyboard and mouse, counter tops and doorknobs. The use of a hand sanitizer with between 60-95% ethanol or isopropyl alcohol has proven to reduce infection rates of viruses and bacteria when hands are free of soiling or debris or when warm water and soap is not available.You can help your child’s school or your workplace by bringing in a bottle of hand sanitizer and working with the teacher or your peers to make frequent use a part of everyone’s daily routine. Similarly, disinfectant wipes can be an effective tool to reduce the spread of germs multiplying on the surface of classrooms, workplaces and homes, as long as these wipes are not used on multiple surfaces. Don’t reuse wipes. Office and school policies regarding absenteeism may have to be adjusted during a seasonal Influenza outbreak to reduce the number of individuals affected and should include teachers and other staff members. Remember what your mom told you was actually right. Covering one’s mouth or coughing/sneezing into one’s sleeve and disposing of used tissue remains a surefire way to reduce the spread of Influenza. Adhering to a proper diet with at least five servings of fruits and vegetables will provide most individuals with sufficient vitamins and minerals to support their immune system’s defenses against Influenza viruses.The virus gains access to the body when someone touches their face, nose or breathes in microscopic droplets (tiny water drops containing viruses) freely floating in the air. Basically, if the virus droplets can’t stick to the lining of the nose, sinuses, throat, trachea and lungs the virus will not be able to set up a home and replicate. A well-hydrated body is the first line of defense, permitting the immune system to function effectively, allowing well-stocked white blood cells, macrophages and other components of the immune system free to travel where they are needed most to attack the viral invaders. Saline nasal sprays are another way to assist the lining of the upper respiratory tract, rinsing away the mucus that develops in the winter months to restore epithelial cells that suffer due to the change from cold, dry outside air to warm, dry inside air.While we are familiar with the risk of cancer and vascular disease associated with tobacco, the avoidance of cigarette and cigar smoke will also help the upper respiratory tract fight the invading Influenza virus. Supplements of Vitamin C and other vitamins and minerals continue to be viewed as a means to ward off Influenza, despite claims by some health care experts that those who take these supplements are actually increasing their chance of contracting the Influenza virus. Specific Influenza anti-viral medications, not antibiotics - which are totally ineffective and proving to be counterproductive - are best utilized at the beginning of the signs and symptoms of Influenza in a patient with known exposure.These medications are taken for five days and have shown to reduce the severity of the Influenza illness and may decrease the overall length from one to two days. Only a few minor adjustments to your daily habits and rituals can make all the difference during this year’s winter season. Frequent hand-washing, cleaning of the surfaces of your environment, paying attention to your diet and hydration, quitting smoking and getting vaccinated are all things that will provide you the best chance to avoid a bout of Influenza. Above all else, stay healthy and enjoy the season!

Dr. Eric Weinstein is board certified in Emergency Medicine. He is associated with Carolinas Medical Alliance Emergency Physician Services and is a Member of the Medical Staff at Carolinas Hospital System.

11/20/08

12:24 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 51

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11/24/08

11:21 AM

Page 1

“O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM” by Leigh Clary Abdou

The Middle East is the topic of many news reports these days. In God’s eyes, it is the center of the universe. Jerusalem is the key city to watch and it is where many of the events in the Bible take place. We must not forget, however, about a very important city south of Jerusalem – a small town that had many great events and leads to the birth of the Christ Child. This is the town of Bethlehem. The lineage of Jesus can be linked all the way back to Adam and Eve through the amazement of the Scriptures. Jacob (later named Israel) had twelve sons and to one of his wives, he bore the son, Judah. When Joshua takes the Israelites into the Promised Land, he gives the southern half of Israel to the tribe of Judah. From the lineage of Judah (who occupies Bethlehem and its surrounding lands) comes the Christ. Years later, a descendant of Judah, Naomi, returns to her homeland of Bethlehem with her daughter-in-law, Ruth (a Moabite). Once there, Ruth meets Boaz (a descendent of Judah) and they marry and have Obed. Obed has a son, Jesse, and Jesse has a son named David. Not only was David (the future king of Judah) born in Bethlehem, he was also anointed by Samuel (I Samuel 16) in Bethlehem to be the next King of Israel. Years later, Mary and Joseph (both descendents of David) marry and give birth to Jesus in Joseph’s town of Bethlehem. The birthplace of the Christ was also prophesied in Micah 5:2, “But, you, Bethlehem Ephratah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will

come for Me, One Who will be ruler over Israel,Whose origins are from old, from ancient times.” This prophecy was written in 700 B.C. Those that studied the Scriptures and the law knew the prophecy. “Does not the Scripture say that the Christ will come from David’s family and from Bethlehem, the town where David lived?” (John 7:42). This Christmas season, don’t forget about the real reason for Christmas – the birth of the Christ Child – a birth which was prophesied hundreds and thousands of years before even taking place. It was such an amazing event in history that Magi from the East traveled months to Bethlehem just to see the Christ. Those that had been following the Scriptures were sure not to miss this birth. I’m sure they considered themselves very fortunate to be able to experience this amazing realization of prophecy. Why did Jesus come into the world? He came to save us all from our sins. None of us are perfect. We are born into the sinful nature of Adam, passed down since the earliest creation. Jesus came to break the curse of Adam. “Just as the result of one trespass [Adam] was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness [Jesus] was justification that brings life for all men. For just as through the disobedience of the one man, the many were made sinners; so, also through the obedience of the one man, the many will be made righteous” (Romans 5:18-19). Jesus, the Lamb of the world, was born in a manger – the lowliest of places. While in the manger, the

Leigh Abdou lives in Florence with her husband, Tony and loves working for She Magazine. She is originally from Valdosta, GA.

new family was visited by very poor shepherds. A few months later, three very rich Magi went to see the Christ Child. Jesus came for both the Jews and the Gentiles – the rich and the poor. He came “. . . that [we] may have life and have it to the full” (John 10:10). Everything in Scripture points to this one event. I will leave you with this verse spoken by Joshua in his last address to the nation of Israel before his death, “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshipped beyond the River and in Egypt and serve the LORD. But, if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But, as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:14-15). Listen to the prophets and to the history of Bethlehem. Read the Word and know that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6) – and know why you believe that! Let Scripture speak for itself. With so many other religions and distractions in our world today, know the truth. Be able to defend what you believe and why you believe. Dig into the prophecies and believe that Jesus is the Christ – the Christ, born over 2,000 years ago in Bethlehem, to be the hope of all man-kind. May the song,“O little town of Bethlehem” have a different meaning for you this year and may we not forget the true meaning of this season.

11/25/08

1:54 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 53

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11/24/08

5:34 PM

Page 1

Living Lights by Sharon Bixler

Twinkle

movement, it almost seemed to come alive.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star . . . .” Oh, the ava-

many “homemade” decorations, beautiful bulbs and, of

lanche of memories that cascade over me as I remem-

course, the original paper chains. The lights were very

Even now, the child within me reaches back

ber past Christmases. I knew the holiday season was

carefully placed with exact spacing (no two colors

in my mind and I smile remembering the joy that

near when I could easily catch snowflakes on my

next or above each other). The glimmering icicles

those two lights brought to me for several years. I

tongue and smell the fresh pine, homemade bread and

hugged signally so that the light reflected off each with

don’t even remember any presents I received that

cookies and when candy filled our home. And, the

a shimmer. Lights lit, tree dressed, I was ready for

year. The gift of the lights from my dad was the best

lights! Oh, the lights! The wonder and beauty of the

Christmas. During this season, I would drink in every

gift ever. (Fathers give the best gifts.) As parents, too

lights! The Christmas tree lights we had in the late

detail – the sweet smell of pine, steaming cups of hot

often we become trapped in the “world’s” view of

fifties were not the tiny filament lights we have today.

chocolate and frosted Christmas cookies. I would sit

what our children just “have to have” for gifts; but, if

The ones of yesteryear were large – the size of the

for hours on the floor fascinated by the shimmering,

you take a minute to consider and remember what

bulbs that glow from our night lights and window can-

glimmering, radiant lights that emanated from every

had the most meaning for you at Christmas, I’ll bet it

dles. The colors came in your basic white, blue, green,

borough of our Christmas tree.

wasn’t material in nature.

red and yellow until the year I was about nine. That

A few days after the tree had been complet-

Our Heavenly Father gave us the most mag-

year, our Christmas tree changed forever (as does our

ed, I remember rushing into the “good living room” (in

nificent gift we could ever receive. Christmas is the

lives when His light dwells within us).

my childhood, that was the only room that had carpet

celebration of His Birthday and He said,“I am the light

That year began as usual with a family visit to

and your shoes were left at the doorway giving the

of the world . . .” (John 8:12). We are also told in

our grandparents’ farm and the woods beyond. I’m

room an air of sanctity) to turn on the lights. I

Philippians 2:15, “So that you may become blameless

sure it was cold and the snow glistened and crunched

plugged in the tree lights and suddenly, one and then

and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked

as we scouted out our perfect tree. Growing up in

two of the lights began to blink on and off. I sat on

and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars

upstate New York, I really don’t remember a

the floor mesmerized. As a surprise, my father had

in the universe.”

Christmas season without snow.

Every year, we

replaced two of the regular lights with “twinkle lights”

This Christmas, may your bright, blazing

returned home with the best tree ever and I never

(as they were called then). Oh, the beauty and won-

starlight – the essence of His presence in us – illumi-

remember any “bare” spots in any of our trees (I think

der of those lights – one a clear navy, the other a hot

nate someone else’s darkness, placing another light on

that is an adult thing).

pink! The Christmas tree illuminated the whole room

a branch of the true vine of life.

Our Christmas tree was decorated with

in various colors. Now, however, with shimmer and

Sharon Bixler lives near Patrick with her husband of 35 years, Hal. She is a Nurse Consultant for Omnicare of Florence, a long-term care pharmacy.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 55

11/21/08

4:29 PM

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The Sanity Clause Setting Guidelines for a Happier, Christmas More

Sane

by Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC After a personal loss, I believe we tend to appreciate everything more – especially family and relationships. The little seemingly-insignificant routines and events of the past hold much more of a significant meaning. Our garden in the back yard, our bird bath with special flowers around it, the sound of birds in their cage in the house and our special place to sit and read or meditate are much more precious. A loss helps us to re-evaluate and prioritize what is important and what is really not important in our lives and gives us another chance to make things right and get on track. My father passed away in February of this year and it’s hard to explain, but you just develop a different perspective of the loved ones that you have left. It forces you to look at your mortality and definite lack of permanence here on earth. You realize that things will not always be as they are right now. We should try really hard not to take things – and people – for granted. Try to enjoy each day as a special gift and each holiday as though it could be the last with those you love. Not to be morose, but live life to the fullest every hour and every day. This is very hard to do; but one day at a time, it can be a goal to try and achieve. Take lots of pictures and try diligently to get along with your family. Let the people in your life know how you feel about them now. Give them a special card or send them a note. Planning to tell them later is sometimes too late. I just returned from a trip and was only gone four days, but I don’t know when I have ever been so glad to get home. I was looking forward to my morning routine of coffee and a sweet roll that my husband makes and sitting on the sofa with a poodle on each side. Also, just the thought of being in my own home was so soothing and I was so looking forward to that. I was ready to really enjoy the simple pleasures of the little things. Have you ever experienced this? I was feeling so thankful for everything in my life. The economy is not in the best of shape right now (putting it mildly) and I don’t know about you, but I was worn out from all the election information and competition. I am really looking forward to the holidays as a time to rest and recover. My husband and I both feel like a simple heartfelt Christmas with family and friends will be very meaningful and precious this year. To have a more sane Christmas this year, I suggest that you plan ahead. Discuss with your family and friends in advance what the plan is. If you prefer a quiet relaxed meal at home, designate ahead of time the menu and who will be responsible for each food dish. Establish whose house the meal and celebration will be at and decide who will help with the decorating. Another very important item to discuss is gifts. It is a good idea for everyone to decide on an amount for purchasing gifts and be in agreement to not go over this amount. When this practice is adopted, it helps deter competition for the most expensive gift. People are less likely to have their feelings hurt and, hopefully, will not feel uncomfortable or negative about their gift purchase and the cost of the gift. The focus should be the thought and feeling behind the purchase and not the money spent on obtaining the gift. We are supposed to be giving gifts out of love for each other anyway, right? So, it is not about the cost of the gift itself. Some families have adopted a practice where their entire family gives money to help the poor or homeless or some other designated ministry. They may carry gifts around to a family who cannot afford to have a Christmas at all. Some churches send food baskets to families in need and send gifts to the children. My family and I did this about two years ago and it was a very blessed experience for all of us. It really made us appreciate everything that we have including jobs, food and a roof over our heads. I think what is important every Christmas – but especially this year – is being thankful for everything that we have. Make a personal list in your own mind or write it down. Your marriage may not be just like you want it to be, your house may not look exactly like you want it to, you may not be driving the car of your dreams; but, if you have good health and a sound mind and healthy children that you love and a spouse that loves you and parents that are still living – or any of these things – then, you are blessed, truly blessed. Focus on the real meaning behind Christmas this year and the gift that God gave us, his Son, Jesus, and not on the materialistic side. You will have the best Christmas you have ever had. Ouida Page is a Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau (International Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville and Florence areas for 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children, adolescents and women of all ages. She is married and has one son attending Wofford College.You may contact her at 843-398-0915.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 59

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eredith is the eleven-year-old daughter of Glen and Michele Scott. She is in the sixth grade at Montessori School of Florence, which she has attended since she was four-years-old. She has been a top student there during those eight years. Two years ago, she was named a Duke Scholar, an academic honor. Her favorite subject is language arts, which is also her best subject. An excellent reader, one of Meredith’s favorite activities is reading to the younger students at Montessori. Last summer, she was an assistant counselor during the summer camp program, taking care of the little campers. She is looking forward to being a counselor again this summer. Her teachers know they can depend on Meredith to watch over her young charges with great care. She is sometimes called upon to get a fussy eater to gobble up his or her lunch or help a shy student mingle with others. She is a goodwill ambassador for the older students, as well as the younger ones. Known to share her lunch with a classmate who did not have a lunch that day, she is always eager to help others, whether it is her family, friends, teachers or “campers.” Meredith loves animals as much as she loves young children. She especially enjoyed her two visits to the animal shelter, where she bathed, walked and played with dogs as part of a class service project. She enjoyed it so much that she wanted to volunteer on a regular basis. She changed her mind, however, when she realized that sometimes the animals have to be put to sleep. She knew that it would get too sad for her. Her favorite animal is the panda bear, but she would be content to have a Siberian Husky of her own. Currently, Meredith has two cats, Sidney and Callie, and she “shares” a Pomeranian named Rudy with her uncle. Dance is by far her favorite activity. She studies at Dance for Joy and is in her sixth year. She has been teaching dance to beginner students for four of those years. She looks forward to working with her little students. While she assists the teacher as the little ones learn their steps, she may also adjust their costumes, tie their shoes or take them to the bathroom – all in a day’s work. Although dance is Meredith’s favorite activity, she has recently become interested in cheerleading, leading the efforts to organize the cheerleaders this year at her school. With basketball season right around the corner, she will soon be busy cheering the Montessori Mavericks to victory. She is also looking forward to trying out for the cheerleading squad when she enters seventh grade at Byrnes next year. When she is not cheering or dancing, she loves reading all types of books, writing her own stories on the computer or playing Nintendo. She also loves to work on arts and crafts. Meredith sometimes visits me (a physician at First Choice Health Care) at the office. She enjoys spending time there with me, helping out when she can. Since she has heard “doctor-speak” all her life, she knows quite a bit about medicine and can watch doctor shows on TV without getting “grossed out.” Although she likes “people medicine,” Meredith finds animal medicine more appealing, so she is planning to become a veterinarian one day. With Christmas coming up, she is getting ready to perform at an area nursing home and in the Florence Christmas Parade. Meredith loves to dance onstage and has plans to perform in competition again this year. Last year, in her very first competition, she brought home a gold first place trophy. This year, she says she is going for double platinum, the highest level awarded. Once she has made up her mind to accomplish something, there is no stopping her. She should not have any trouble reaching this goal. What is Santa going to bring this very good girl for Christmas? Meredith is hoping for a Wii Game Console, some American Girl doll clothes and accessories, a North Face jacket and books. She would really like a puppy, but her dad and I will have to speak with Santa about that one first! Meredith is a little girl with a big heart. Besides thinking about what she is getting for Christmas, she is also thinking about what to give. She regularly donates old toys and clothes to the House of Hope. Just recently, she donated some of her old books, videos and games to the Care House, hoping that some children less fortunate than she may enjoy these things as much as she has. The one thing that Meredith loves most about Christmas is spending time with her family. We, in turn, love her beauty, intelligence, humor and, most of all, her warm, loving and generous spirit.

This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Meredith’s mother, Dr. Michele Scott. If you would like to nominate a little girl for “Wee She,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com.

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When Christmas Isn’t

y r r e M

Coping with Illness and the Loss of a Loved One in this Season of Cheer by Jessie Tanner, M.Ed., LPC

“It’s the hap-happiest season of all” . . . so the song says. For those who have experi-

Practice friendship during the holidays by extending yours to someone. Grief

enced the loss of a loved one or are living through the terminal illness of a loved one,

in the heart needs an outlet. Spend on someone in need what you might have spent

it’s a different song for the holidays. Listening to others chat about their Christmas

on your loved one. Donate to a cause your loved one cared about. When grief touch-

shopping, deciding which holiday party to attend, watching the commercials on TV

es your heart, it births a deep sensitivity to others. Respond to that sensitivity in the

showing a carefree family celebrating the festivities – these activities can seem like a

midst of your pain and extend your friendship to someone. Reaching out beyond your

blur or even feel agitating and offensive when you are grieving. Grief is such a personal experience, a personal journey. Your spirit is your compass to guide your heart and mind through it and help the holidays be meaningful. For those who are living with a terminal illness or caring for someone who is terminally ill, you have the precious present to focus on for the holidays. It helps to give attention to a plan. What are some of your desires for the holidays? What do you see as your limitations? What would make the holidays most meaningful? Is it for the immediate family to have a quiet get-together? Would you cherish having many family and friends gather? The gatherings of those we hold dear, the just being together can be one of the most blessed celebrations of the season. Making the holidays personal – perhaps different – can be a part of your plan. Sometimes, the simplest things are the sweetest. Making a family Christmas tree with everyone’s handprints cut out of paper and placed on the tree, favorite photos hung on the tree, everyone having a candle to light (a symbol of hope and warmth in the midst of the darkness) – these are simple and very personal sharings for the family. Embracing the precious present with your loved ones will be the cherished memories that warm your heart later on. For those whose loss has been recent – those experiencing the firsts without their loved one – making the holidays meaningful (in lieu of merry) can be

grief is one of the most comforting and healing things you can do for yourself.

comforting and healing. Family, friendship and faith are some paths of meaning for the hol-

Your faith can make the holidays meaningful for you. Finding personal ways to

idays. You may feel torn between not wanting any part of the holiday happenings but feel-

honor Hanukkah, the birth of Christ, etc., can put a song of hope in your heart. Taking

ing the need to decorate and provide Christmas for the children of the family. So, take the

the time to attend a church service or mass can fill your spirit up with the blessing you

less-stress options. Let others (family, friends, co-workers, church family) help with the dec-

need to help you get through a day of sadness. Attending a children’s Christmas play

orating, cooking and shopping. Letting others help gives them the opportunity to bless you

can pull out a smile and laughter that you didn’t think was left inside you. Lighting a

and feel the blessing that comes from giving our time and care to each other.

candle will help you remember the light of God’s grace and comfort during the dark-

You may decide to continue family traditions for the sake that they represent the

ness of the midnight hour. Praying to feel God’s loving arms around you and reading

love and care your family put into creating them. Allow your loved one to still be a part of

God’s promises, trusting those promises of hope and healing and His strength to carry

the holidays by sharing some favorite stories about them. Sure, it will be mixed with smiles

you through – these components of faith can help your heart find meaning for the hol-

and tears; both are the outcome of your love for the ones you hold dear. Let each family

idays in the midst of sadness and uncertainty. Merry? Perhaps not. Meaningful and

member make or find an ornament that reminds them of your loved one’s spirit or person-

endearing? Yes.

ality. Give a time for each to tell why they chose that particular ornament. The sharing makes the holiday meaningful. Jessie Tanner, M.Ed., LPC is Bereavement Coordinator and Chaplain with McLeod Hospice. Married to Pastor Frankie Tanner of Mechanicsville Baptist Church, she is forever learning and witnessing the healing grace of God’s love.

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Sincerely Yours,

Jumana A. Swindler

ach year is different, and yet, it somehow is always still the same. But, the memories are even more special than the year before. Ever since we were small children, my brother and sister and I have had an unspoken pact - - we will always be together on Christmas morning. Even as bad as we used to bicker and fuss throughout the year, on that special occasion, we bonded in purpose and appreciation for one another. The same holds true today, more than four decades later -- all except the squabbling part. We don't do that anymore - at least not face to face. Let me introduce you to my siblings and their own special cast of intimate characters. My brother Steve is eight years younger. He's tall, he's strong. He's very smart and really handsome and has a laugh that is as contagious as the measles.When he grins, he lights the whole world up - and that's been quite a bit over the last few years as he reflects on the joys of sharing life with his wonderful wife, Missy, and precious little daughter, Maddy, and son, Will, whose kinship I also cherish. Steve's been my rock through the toughest of times, is extremely paternal to both my son,Adam, and to me and always knows who to call when something needs fixing. Then there's my sister Rima, six years younger than I am.While extremely petite in size, she's enormous in faithfulness and integrity. She's so beautiful and serves as my alter ego, the peacemaker of our clan who always reminds me to stay positive and balanced. She's a devoted wife to her loving husband Edwin and they have three delightful children, Caroline, Davis and Nicholas, whom I also adore. Rima is also my confidant and conscience, always a friend through thick and thin. (And, believe me, she's experienced me having all those weights along the years.) For both Rima and Steve, time has made impervious the age difference between us. Don’t forget our Dad, you've met him through various columns along the way. He's loving and kind, wise and ever spewing endless and unconditional love for his offspring, both generations. And Adam, my son, that you regular readers know so much about, is my heart and life. Adam and Dad are part of this pact, too. Our tradition is to spend Christmas Eve together and spend Christmas morning together under the same roof. These days we rotate roofs, well not literally.

DESTINATION:

Christmas! We trade years, hosting at our different homes. Last year, it was back at mine. I was so excited, but wouldn’t you know it, all those crazy unseen little mischievous holiday imps tackled Santa's elves at my house, just 'cause, I wanted everything just right and the best Christmas memories ever. Just the week before, the ceiling fan light in the den blew, and it wasn't just a bad bulb, it was an electrical short in the switch. I didn't want to call or ask my brother to send me a handy man, since it was Christmas and I wanted to be the hostess with the most-ess. Honestly, it was a matter of pride and I didn't want to signal that any problems were afoot at Jumana's for Destination Christmas, so I tried to fix it myself. Standing on the coffee table was my first mistake, dangling from the fixture was my second. Using a screwdriver was the third faux pas.And all these endeavors ended in calamity. Crashing blades marred my antique sideboard and the table, well, it splintered in half. And the electrical short, aggravated by the metal tool in my hand, ran through the entire house, after shocking me into oblivion for at least a minute. Eventually, I made the call to Steve, explaining that I needed an electrician. "No problem. I'll send (so and so). Just, please, don't try to fix it yourself…." Three days later, coupled with a chunk of change, a bruised collar bone from the fall and badly damaged pride, I thought all was set until the unreasonably cold temperatures set in and my pipes froze…. No water, no shower, no toilets. Oh great, I thought, just what I needed before my folks arrived and I wanted everything just right, this was way wrong. Maybe if I just check the wellllllllllllllllll!! I slid on some backyard ice on the way to make my inspection and smacked my head on the wrought iron fence. Nursing the raised bump on my scalp and a nagging headache, I made the call. "Hey Bro," I squeaked out. "No, the electricity is fine. But do you happen to know a plumber I can call…." That correction took a day or two and several rounds of Tylenol and all was set. Ah, the anticipation of Christmas with the Fam. Decorations were hung, the tree was up, the carols were playing, food had been purchased and some desserts already had been bought and made. One week to go and Murphy's Law struck again. The range went out for no reason at all ,except to peeve me during the other pre-

liminary and stressful preparations. My sis just happened to call while my head was in the oven and I was trying to jiggle the elements back to life. "What are you doing, you sound like you're in a cave," my sister said. I began weeping and sniffling, bumping my forehead on the top oven shelf, cracking the trifocal lens in one eye of my glasses and poking a gash on my ear lobe on the opposite side, all within a millisecond. Then, as I incoherently began mumbling about fallen cakes, half-baked breakfast casseroles and how I wanted everything to go off smoothly for Christmas, my sis, as always calmed me down.A combination of Betty Crocker, Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart (before Martha became a criminal), Sis saved the day again. She was bringing all the fixings. (Leftovers she claimed she had, from a holiday bunko party, which included ham, turkey and lots of recipes she'd been trying out for just such an occasion yeah sure.) She knew my luck and was beyond prepared. Rima's always been my domestic hero. Restored water, electrical power and even a functioning stove contributed to my Holiday cheer as all the clan arrived. My glasses were patched, my head felt better and even the Band-Aid on my earlobe could be removed. Luscious food smells permeated the air, boxes and bows and lights made it festive, but it wasn't the "stuff" that made the mood, or even the convenience of having modern utilities. There was my brother with that big, fat smile of his plastered all over his face, making us giggle like we were youngsters one more time.The children were hopping about the house playfully and hollering around the tree. "Here we are," he said beaming. "Yep," my sister added, "Everything's just right." "All together again, for another year," said Adam, with his future bride at his side. "This is the rarest gift of all," Dad added, a tear trickling down his cheek. "A family who loves each other. It's the best Christmas ever!" Merry Christmas to All, from my family to yours. James 1:17 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

Jumana Swindler is the director of Marketing and Public Relations at McLeod Health. She lives in Florence and has one son, Adam, who is often the subject of her writing.

11/24/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 67

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 69

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e t i r o v a MyCFhristmas Song by Sandra Honaker

‘ve written before about how I’m not a big fan of Christmas, or at least Christmas as we celebrate it now (I personally think seeing the heavenly host would have been awesome in the truest sense of the word, so I would have really liked the first Christmas, as long as I was a shepherd keeping watch over my flock by night). My problem with Christmas has never been the Christ, but the commercialization of it, and this commercialization is most evident in secular Christmas music, which is played non-stop in shopping malls from Halloween to New Years Day. One particular beef I have with secular Christmas songs like “White Christmas” and Winter Wonderland” and “Let It Snow” is that they have nothing to do with Christmas in the south. I have never, ever had a white Christmas in my memory, and you know, I have to be honest, I’m actually pretty happy about that. In order for a white Christmas to be commonly associated with the holiday, you have to live in one of those places where it snows in the fall, and even though I like a little snow once every five years or so, the idea of having to truck through snow, say, around Thanksgiving just depresses me beyond belief and makes me long for Aruba. My only winter climate Christmas song that I actually like was written, not coincidentally, by a southern band out of North Carolina, the Squirrel Nut Zippers. In their “Carolina Christmas,” they sing, “we’re chilling in our underwear,” which is a more accurate description of our weather pattern. Now, don’t get me wrong—I love the religious Christmas songs. I love “Silent Night” and “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and especially “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen,” and wish we sang them more often than just a few Sundays a year, especially since I know the alto parts to most of them so I can actually sing along passably, if not well. But I often find it difficult to shop having to listen to “Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph and Red-Nose Reindeer” the entire time. I wonder that I don’t see more salesclerks just totally losing it and going after the customers with the giant nutcracker displays. I know I would after listening to these songs 40 hours plus a week. There is an exception to every rule, however, and I do have one secular Christmas song that I actually find quite touching, largely because it’s seldom played and also because of the sentiment it expresses. This is a song about peace in wartime (no, I’m not talking about that Snoopy and Red Baron song, and if you know what I’m talking about, well, you’re old), and it expresses a hope for a future of peace for all men that I rarely find in our commercial Christmas. The song is “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” by John Lennon, and the beauty of the song is found within the parentheses, although not in the “X.” The song itself is very simple, which was characteristic of Lennon’s music outside of the Beatles. It begins with the words,“So this is Christmas, / And what have you done, / Another year over, / And a new one begun.” I love how these words capture the mundane nature of Christmas, for many of us, as a marker of time. We used to tease my father, for example, that our childhood movies went from Easter videos to Christmas videos (although they were actually film then and not videos) with no separation in between, and we could watch ourselves grow up in rapid succession. In Lennon’s song (to get back on topic), the chorus that follows is merely a

Sandra Honaker lives in Marion with her husband Pat and her daughters Morgan and Alex.

wish for a merry Christmas for everyone. It is the words of the background chorus, however, sung simultaneously by the children of the Harlem Community Choir, which bring me to tears: War is over; If you want it;War is over; Now If this catchphrase sounds hardly original, don’t make the mistake one of my sophomore students did when he said he didn’t like reading Shakespeare’s Hamlet because it had too many clichés (like “to be or not to be”), but realize that this phrase originated with Lennon and Yoko Ono’s billboard campaign in 1969. That Christmas, two years before the release of the song, they rented billboard space in eleven major cities around the world, including New York, London, Tokyo, Paris, and Rome, among others. The billboards read, in stark black and white letters, “WAR IS OVER (If You Want It) Happy Christmas from John and Yoko.” These words became part of their Christmas song released in 1971 as well as chanted by thousands as protest to the Viet Nam war. I’m not writing this article to protest a war, either current or past, or to argue which wars are necessary and which are not, but to say that I think nothing can please God more, or could be a greater Christmas gift to mankind, than peace. You just have to recall that great photograph taken in Times Square at the end of WWII or the happy confidence of the holiday name that marked the end of World War I, Armistice Day, however misplaced (the name was later changed to Veterans Day) to know that sentiment applies to all wars. I’m not a believer at peace at all costs, but I do feel very keenly for families separated by war on any day, but especially Christmas Day. I have biblical precedent for this, by the way. When the angels came to announce the birth of the Messiah, they sang of “peace on earth.” They didn’t sing about shopping a lot or red-nosed flying reindeers or snowman that can talk. Even though Lennon was a professed non-believer, I do believe this song echoes the longing of all God’s children, whether they acknowledge him or not, for a world at peace, a world which will finally exist in its most perfect form when the new heaven and new earth have been created and all the nations eat of the tree of life and the curse is lifted forever. That’s something worth thinking about at Christmas, and that is why this one song lifts my spirits like “White Christmas” never will.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 71

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Annie a

s a young mother, I’m rather ambitious in my plans for Christmas this year – and I’m optimistic about their execution. A little part of me, however, does long to travel to my parents’ or my in-laws’ home and relax while the woman of that house does most of the work. But, alas, not only did I host Thanksgiving this year at my home, I will be hosting Christmas, too! Although I feel a little bit of anxiety about taking all this on, I am mostly excited. Dan and I are looking forward to setting the tone of Christmas at our house, de-emphasizing the material things and putting precedence on the spiritual – on Jesus Christ. Growing up at my house, Christmas was mostly about the material, which took a toll on our family and made it harder to fully enjoy and embrace the holiday. For Dan, there was a good balance, even though I think we all can spend a little less on things that have no lasting value. Bringing our backgrounds together and taking the good while leaving the bad, we resolve to present Christmas to our children and our guests in its most unadulterated form. We are not just saying we need to put Christ back in Christmas; we’re taking active measures to make it all about our Lord and Savior. What an incredible opportunity we have to present the gospel to our children, our families and our friends this season! God has put us in an uncomfortable but privileged position this year as hosts of Christmas in a couple of ways. Not all of our family members who will be with us claim Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Although it may be less risky to back off the spiritual elements of our Christmas celebration in order to avoid offending anyone, how can we deny our love for Jesus? This may be the only encounter they have with the gospel. What a shame it would be to give up this opportunity to shine a light into the darkness of a hardened heart. Also, this economic recession has affected us more than we had anticipated and we don’t have much to spend on gifts. As hard as this is, it is truly a blessing. What better way to avoid getting wrapped up in the treasures of this world than by having no way to buy them? God is teaching us a lot right now about dependence and trust and I hope we can share these things with others who need encouragement. One of the good things that I would like to carry into our family from my childhood Christmas traditions is something edible. We call it the German Apple Pancake and we made it for breakfast nearly every Christmas morning that I can remember. My husband teases me about how much it means to me and my family members to eat this on Christmas morning, but it’s just one of those things that I’ve always enjoyed and I’m not willing to let go of just yet. Coincidently, I was thrilled to see the recipe featured in last month’s issue right before my debut article. Maybe it will become a sweet tradition for many more families. I’d like to share a craft idea that I’m planning to do with the girls for Christmas. I found a really cute idea online; it’s called “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Handprint.” You basically trace your child’s hand on brown construction paper and then decorate it like a reindeer using pipe cleaners, googly eyes, markers, etc. The complete details are online at www.familyfun.com. Type in “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Handprint” in the “What are you looking for today? Search the site. . .” Then, click on “1. Christmas Craft: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Handprint.” It will be really sweet

at to document the date along with the girls’ ages on this craft. I hope I’ve encouraged those of you who don’t have the means to go all out this Christmas to take it as a blessing – not a curse. Be thankful that God has given you the opportunity to direct your heart where it needs to be – on Him. For those who have all the means in the world to please everyone around them with the most precious of gifts, I encourage you to take a step back and search your heart to see if it is wrapped up with pretty paper and ribbons or with God’s love, His grace and His truth. Offer yourself up to God, that you may be used as a light this year to a world that has lost sight of what we are meant to celebrate at Christmas – the birth of the One who came to save us from sin – our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Originally from Orlando, Florida, Annie Collins now resides in Marion with her husband, Dan, a Youth Minister, and their two daughters, Maddy and Phoebe. She is a 2004 graduate of Columbia International University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. Annie looks forward to your feedback. You may contact her at anniescollins@yahoo.com.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 73

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DECEMBER 2008 THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! Features begin on page 76.

SIX READERS RELIVE THE JOYS OF CHRISTMASES PAST

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THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

Christmas Traditions Alice Baker

“Our parents made memories for us and now we’re making memories for our future generation.” - Alice Baker grew up in Pamplico, one of four children. Daddy

older, I couldn’t do all this decorating without their help.

My mother was one of the kindest people you

was a farmer and Mother worked in the office at the high

We eat leftovers that night, admire our work, talk about old

would ever meet and she loved her family and her church

school. Christmas was always a very special time for our

times, laugh and just have a good old time.

very much. I’m sure she would probably shake her head at

family. As children, we all had a particular chair in the living

On Christmas Eve, whoever has no other family obligations

all the medallions that have been bought over the years, but

room where our “Santa Claus” was put and we had the

goes to my sister, Berta’s house after we have gone to our

she would be proud that we still share Christmas with each

same chair each year. We couldn’t get up until Mother and

own church’s Christmas Eve service. At her house, we do

other. This was so special to her and she loved giving gifts

Daddy were up and, of course, we could not peek in the liv-

a Chinese gift exchange and sing Christmas carols. None of

and love; but most of all, she loved her family. She and

ing room.

us are musical, so this is a comical time. We laugh and have

Daddy started traditions and we have continued them and

a great time.

added to them. Elizabeth, my niece, said, “Once you start

One Christmas, Mother let my sister, Jane, and me

anything, it becomes a tradition. Don’t ever think about

help put out Santa for my brother and sister,W and Berta.

On Christmas morning, I bake bread and cinna-

We were standing back admiring our displays when I turned

mon rolls and deliver them HOT to my sister for her fami-

around to find W standing in the doorway grinning at us.

ly, my brother and his wife. (I usually have twelve to four-

Christmas is such an important season and we

After we got over the shock of him finding out who Santa

teen pans of cinnamon rolls and eight or so loaves of bread

should never forget the real meaning of Christmas. My

was, we all had a good laugh. Another year, I remember

to deliver.) I end up at Elizabeth’s (my niece) and have

Mother and Daddy never did and they never let us forget

being so excited about getting a pair of pink silk shorty paja-

breakfast with her family and my other sister. Up until two

the reason either. If it were not for Christ, none of this

mas. (In fact, I just discarded them when I moved last year.)

years ago, my husband’s sister lived in Wisconsin and she

would be possible. I thank Him every day for my family and

As we grew up, Mother and Daddy established

would send Wisconsin cheese, which we enjoyed as cheese

for what they mean to me all year, for good

Christmas night as the night that the family would get

toast on homemade bread at my niece’s. On Christmas

health and for His love. My God, my church,

together in Pamplico. Now that they are deceased, all of us

mid-day, whoever has no other family obligation goes to my

my family, my health and my friends are the

get together at my house on Christmas night. There are

brother,W’s for sandwiches. We all end up Christmas night (which had been

twenty-one of us; however, one of my nephews is in Iraq for his third tour, so he and his wife are not always with us.

established by Mother and Daddy years ago) at my

My mother (who died in 1992) started a tradition

house. We have had our Christmas dinner before

in l973 of giving my sisters, sister-in-law and me Towle Silver

Christmas because the little ones cannot make it

Medallions. At some point, Mother also started the tradi-

through the meal with all the gifts under the tree. This

tion for my two nieces. The series of twelve medallions that

was changed several years ago when John (my nephew)

Mother started actually began in 1971. One of my sisters

and his wife could be here on Christmas night. It

and I found the first two of this series and bought them.

worked so well that we now just have pick-up food

When Mother died, I decided that I needed to continue this

on Christmas night so that everyone can enjoy

tradition. The medallion was such a special gift from Mother

each other, watch the little ones open presents

that I couldn’t let it stop. I also thought there was no rea-

and talk about old times. The first time we did

son not to give medallions to my nephews, so I started

the pick-up food on Christmas night, Mason

them with a medallion series, as well. Now, I have added my

(one of the children) came run-

nieces’ and nephews’ children; however, I stopped giving

ning

medallions to my sisters, sister-in-law, nieces and nephews.

“Where is the bluffet?”

Most of us have a separate Christmas tree for our medal-

Try to imagine

and

stopping it.”

most precious gifts that He could give me or that I would ever want.

asked,

nineteen to twenty-one

lions. Some traditions have had to change over the

people in one room opening presents. It’s

years. Now, on Thanksgiving (after our Thanksgiving meal),

fantastic! We have to open presents in stages

we exchange a gift. I give the Towle Medallions, Santa

– the children first, then the next generation

Clauses, Carolers, Madam Alexander Dolls, etc., to the

and then the old folks. This is the only way

great-nieces and grand-nephews (two girls and five boys). I

that you can see what each other receives.

do this on Thanksgiving so they can enjoy the gifts over the

Each person has a trash bag to put paper in so

holidays. I started a tradition of giving a pencil portrait by

that gifts don’t get thrown away.

Mary Hoffman to the parents of a child who turned two

I got married in 1975 to Jack Baker and

during the year. A new child born in the year gets a silver

inherited four stepchildren. We developed our own

“First Christmas” ornament.

Christmas separate from this. Jack, however, became

The day after Thanksgiving, I start decorating for

a part of my “Coleman” family tradition. He died in

Christmas. My sister, Jane; my niece, Elizabeth and my great-

1986 from pancreatic cancer. He was loved and

niece, Anna, usually come and help me decorate my three

accepted by my family and was amazed at the close-

trees – one in the sunroom, one in the dining room (with

ness of the Colemans. (That’s a whole other story in

my silver ornaments) and one in my den. As I have gotten

itself.)

Alice Baker lives in Florence. She has two nieces, two nephews and four stepchildren. She is retired from Francis Marion University after being in charge of Human Resources for over thirty years.

photo by Jessica Moore

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 77

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THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

Oh, Christmas Tree! Scarlett Knight

hen we were building our home in 2001, my husband, Mark, and I disagreed on only one thing – the ceiling height of our “great room.” The house plans called for an open foyer and an open great room in the center of the house. A suspended catwalk would be the only thing dividing the two massive areas. Mark thought it was a huge waste of space to have the great room open; that would mean a 24 x 20 room with a 22-foot-high ceiling. He said that it would be hard to cool and hard to heat, especially since the whole back wall is pretty much nothing but glass. (Not to mention that deep in his heart, he really wanted to floor in the top half to make a game room so he could have a pool table.) But, I really loved the idea of the vastness and openness of it all. Long story short, I won. (Well, actually, we compromised. I kept the open room and I agreed that he could put a pool table in the small den off the kitchen.) We moved in the week of Thanksgiving and I began decorating for Christmas immediately. Now, let me just emphasize that I LOVE Christmas; I am talking, REALLY love it! Decorating for Christmas is a passion I have. We have four full-size trees, two life-size Santas, fifty sleighs and gobs of other decorations. I would rather decorate for Christmas than open gifts. (For real, y’all.) I just love it! It takes me an entire week to “deck my halls!” There’s just one problem. When you have a large room with 22foot ceilings, a normal size tree looks pitiful. Therefore, for the next several years, the trees kept getting larger and taller. As of Christmas 2004, every tree choice still looked rather dwarfed. In October of 2005, I got a flyer in the mail from a Christmas tree farm in North Carolina. They were taking orders for trees to be delivered the day after Thanksgiving. They said they could get ANY size tree. REEEAAALLLY?! The paper only had prices listed for up to twelve to fourteen-foot trees but had a number to call for “special order” trees; so, I called. I explained my situation to the kind gentleman and he said that he could definitely get a taller tree – possibly up to eighteen feet tall! My jolly, yuletide-obsessed heart skipped a beat! Finally, I would have a tree for my great room that would complement its size. There was no shopping for me the day after Thanksgiving that year. No way! I stood guard at the front door, waiting anxiously like a four-year-old on Christmas Eve, with so much anticipation of grandeur in my heart that I could hardly stand it. At 4:00 P.M., my doorbell rang. It was finally here! I ran outside in my sock-clad feet. There was no time to put on shoes; I wanted to see it. It was hanging slightly off the end of an extremely long utility trailer. It turned into a she and she was a beauty! It took four men to back her into my front door. It took about an hour to get her up in the special stand, but WOW! There she stood! Although her branches were still tied up in netting, I could tell she was a BIG tree. We had to anchor her to the open catwalk for stability because she was SOOOO tall! Now, to put things in perspective, the pool table that was originally in the den off the kitchen (over the four-year period) migrated to the great room, which – at this point – was called the pool room. That’s right. Being the upstanding, respectable Baptists that we are, when you open our front door, there it sits – a pool table. (I guess Mark really won that battle after all!) There was a small sitting area on the fireplace side and a pool table in the center of the great room, which left practically half of the room for the tree. When the netting was released, the branches quickly fell and

they were touching the pool table, so we trimmed it back some. Being the self-proclaimed “Christmas Tree Officiatto” that I am, I knew the branches needed to be left (at least over night) to relax before any decorating could commence. I hardly slept. Bright and early Saturday, I awoke to the eversweet aroma that only comes from a live tree. I quickly got dressed and rushed to the great room and was greeted by quite a site. The tree had definitely relaxed! There were branches across the pool table and past the center of the room! This tree was HUGE! Mark and the kids and I laughed hysterically for hours. I ended up calling my friend, Bert Floyd, to come help me decorate. He brought his team. He even had to call for backup with taller ladders! He said he had NEVER seen a tree that large – and I believe him. It was an exciting holiday with folks visiting most everyday to see “the tree.” The guy we purchased it from stopped back by to see it decorated and while he was there, he told us she was the “sister tree” to the tree that was put into the White House that year. We took lots of photos and other folks took photos; however, no one was able to get the entire tree in one photo shot. We finally figured out how to put two photos together to show the whole tree, but it really didn’t do her justice. She was as beautiful as she was big! It took five of us and a chainsaw to take her down. Really, it was kind of sad. She had acquired a personality all her own and for that Christmas season, she was definitely a member of our family. We have not been able to find another tree quite so magnificent, but her memory will be forever etched in our minds and in our hearts. “Oh, Christmas tree; oh, Christmas tree, how lovely are your branches.”

Scarlett Knight is a Christmas-aholic and a lifelong Florentine who currently serves as the Director of Creative Ministries at Cornerstone Baptist Church. She invites you to visit her blog at www.franklymissscarlett.blogspot.com.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 79

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THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

Her Cup Runneth Over Tami Clabo

sig

him

th ome people see the glass as half-empty; others see it half-full. Tami Clabo,

on the other hand, always sees her cup as running over. Born with a hole in her heart, the doctors told her parents that if she

“Presented to Tami Clabo ~ your second white Bible ~ first one given to you after your heart surgery at the age of 4. ~ By De Morris ~ I love you ~ God is Faithful ~ on March 12, 2006 ~ on the first Sunday you attended church after your second heart surgery. ~ Psalm 139:13-14”

lived to be four-years-old, she would be a candidate for heart surgery. Her parents prayed. Friends prayed. Church members prayed. People they did-

In April of the same year,Tami had surgery again to insert a pacemaker and

n’t even know prayed. Due to the fragility of her heart and her immune sys-

an internal defibrillator. In December of 2006 and December of 2007, she returned

tem, the little girl with a hole in her heart rarely left the house in San Pablo, California.

The serious preliminaries for the heart transplant began in

little girl wouldn’t feel left out of Christmas traditions that other children were able to

October 2008. Another Christmas miracle was on the way – or was it?

experience. Unfortunately, Tami was terrified! It was a nice thought, anyway – and she

Through testing, it was discovered that Tami has Hepatitis C, which

did later decide that Santa was pretty cool, after all.

makes a heart transplant no longer an option. Apparently, that first

Tami recovered from surgery and was able to go back to church, she sang “At Calvary,” a hymn she had been taught by her sister while she was sick at home. The church gave her a white Bible and everybody cried. She didn’t understand why everybody was crying. At least, she didn’t understand at the time. The little girl with the hole in her heart grew up, fell in love, got married and had a child of her own. She prayed for other folks and began to understand why people cry

miracle surgery gave her not only a new lease on life, but also a deadly disease.

Of course, in 1967, nobody knew what

Hepatitis C was; so, certainly there were no tests. Since it is a specific test, Tami had never been tested for it. But, as Tami says, “God reveals things as they need to be revealed.” When Tami returned from Duke this

when miraculous things happen. She just didn’t realize at the time what a miracle she

time, she didn’t receive another white Bible.

was. There have been other special Christmas memories along the way. One year,

However, on her first Sunday back at church,

Tami’s sister and their mother made her a Cathedral Window quilt for Christmas. Tami

she was presented with a prayer shawl –

remembers seeing the loving, painstaking work of her mother making a similar quilt. That

each stitch representing a prayer for her

made the gift even more special.

by the lady who made it. The church mem-

Then, there was the year her sister surprised the whole family with tickets to

bers gathered around Tami and the shawl as

California to surprise their parents. Tami’s mother had already shipped presents to South

they, too, prayed for her. She sleeps with

Carolina. Knowing how disappointed her mom would be if they couldn’t open their gifts

the shawl every night, now understand-

on Christmas morning,Tami and her family packed the already-shipped gifts in their suit-

ing why the people cried when she

cases and took them back across country on the airplane.

was just four.

In January 2006,Tami’s husband,Allen, was out of town one night and, in a dream, she felt as though she were dying. Her first thought was, “I cannot leave my son alone.” When she woke up, she was scared and called her husband. During the next several weeks, she began having actual symptoms and went to the doctor. She was later admitted to the hospital and it was discovered she had congestive heart failure. She also discovered through the process of heart catheterization that she had a faulty valve in her heart. In February, she went to Duke and had the valve replaced with an artificial one. At that time, the idea of a possible heart transplant entered into the picture. Remember the little white Bible? Well, so did Tami’s sis-

to Duke for routine checkups and began seeing the transplant doctor.

When Tami was three, a well-meaning friend dressed up as Santa so the sweet

When she was four, the long-waited-for heart surgery became a reality. When

Tami and her family have several traditions. One, though not a Christmas tradition, is important to them nonetheless. Each year since her son, Alexander, has been in school, Tami and Allen have gotten on his bed with him the night before the first day of

ter, De. After Tami’s heart surgery in February of 2006, De sent

school and Tami has read

her another white Bible. This one is inscribed:

Oh,The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss.

photo by Jessica Moore Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef ®. In her spare time, she follows orders from her feline children with whom she lives in Florence.

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J.Rufus Bratton, Jr., M.D. FACS

by Ferebe Gasque Each year since he was in kindergarten, now seventeen-year-old Alexander has

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signed his name alongside where Mom has written his favorite part of the story at the time with the date and name of his school. This fall will be no different as Alexander goes off to college. He recently told his mom that the book will go with him as he marries and starts a family of his own – except his children will write in the back instead of in the front. The front is just for his memories with Mom and Dad. Each year, the Clabos read The Polar Express on Christmas Eve. On Christmas morning, they open presents and have Christmas casserole and orange juice. Before Christmas dinner, they always read the Christmas Story from Luke chapter two.

ed Often,Tami, Allen and Alexander have gone to Georgia to celebrate the holiday

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with Allen’s family. This year, however, Alexander’s last official year at home, Christmas will be spent in Florence with the Clabo clan infiltrating from Georgia, Virginia and Mississippi. This year will be different in so many ways. What’s next for Tami? For now, she will continue to teach at Southside

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Middle School, be active at Southside Baptist Church, love her family and make memories that will last a lifetime. After that, as she is the first to confess, only God knows. But, she is convinced that if we “Wait on the Lord and be of good courage, He will strengthen your heart” (Psalm 27:14). He has done that for her for more than forty years. He will continue to do so as long as He has a purpose for her to fulfill. Tami Clabo doesn’t see the glass as half-full or half-empty. She sees her cup as overflowing. She doesn’t need a new heart. The one she has is the one that was given to her by the One who loves her most – and He continues to strengthen it.

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11/25/08

10:55 AM

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THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

The Christmas Reunion Marian LeGette Josey

ow pleased and grateful I was to be sitting in such a lovely

and sisters had crept into my nightly dreams? Such wonderful, pleasant dreams

church on this cold, blustery December night to witness the

they had been. No, he could not know. Yet, for many years, they visited me at night

marriage ceremony of my dear friend’s granddaughter. It

as I drifted into unconsciousness. Now, it was a possibility that a dream was com-

seemed only yesterday that the father of the bride (my

ing true.

friend’s son) and his bride were repeating their vows in a

There he was! I whispered in my date’s ear,“I see him! There he is, stand-

similar Christmas wedding. History was repeating itself and

ing by the table with his wife and children.” Resisting the temptation to race over

after years of my own family responsibilities keeping us apart, I was thrilled to be

and throw my arms around his neck, I struggled to keep my composure until I was

sharing another special event in their lives.

sure that he saw and recognized me.

There was, however, an added dimension to this bridal party that found

He was older, more mature – a grown, responsible family man now – but

me completely unprepared. As the pretty and poised nine-year old-flower girl

I would have known him anywhere. Then, he looked over, cocked his head and

(whom I had never seen) gracefully glided down the aisle, I realized that she was

with a questioning smile, he called my name.

someone special.

Overwhelming memories flooded my mind and heart.

I thought, “Oh, Rainey! Son!” I no longer tried to conceal my joys as I

Memories of her father, my step-grandson whom I had always secretly thought of

walked over to him, threw my arms around his neck and just lingered and held him

as my heart child, bombarded my thoughts. Could this be? Was she truly Wofford

there. He leaned down in response to my hug and all the years that had separat-

Josey’s great-grandchild? Was she really his grandson’s daughter? My eyes filled

ed us seemed to vanish. All the years of pain, hurt and disappointment – in that

with tears as I thought my heart would explode.

single moment – became pure joy. “Thank you, God! Oh, God, thank you!” I

As we left the sanctuary and proceeded by car to the reception, I was still

thought. That was the sweetest sounding voice I’d ever heard calling my name.

suffering from shock and utter disbelief. I had heard that her father, whom I had

“Marian, I’d like you to meet my family.” The wonderful introductions

not seen in sixteen years, would be attending the wedding. I had, therefore, only

took place. Ann Collins, Wilson Wofford and Cecil Lane each politely stood,

a glimmer of hope that I may see him again and meet his wife. Now, it was unbe-

looked me in the eyes and extended their hands. I leaned down, took each hand

lievable that the entire family was here.

one at a time and spoke to each of them. “I remember your dad when he was

Arriving at the reception, I was inundated by friends with such questions

your age – and your age – and your age. He was always so very special!”

as, “Have you seen him?” or “I told him you were here!” These comments made

As I stood, there was another person I had only heard of, but never met

the evening’s festivities dimmer and fade into oblivion as my thoughts were cen-

– this beautiful wife and mother, Shand. As I could only gaze at her, she was the

tered on meeting this family.

first to speak,“Are you Marian?” she softly asked. “Oh, my! What had she heard

Could this scenario truly be happening or was I dreaming? How could this young husband and father know how much he had

about me?” I wondered. I could only think the worst, yet her gentle smile and accepting eyes told me it was okay. I was filled with gratitude.

meant to me in his childhood and youth? How could he know what a

It was only then that I remembered my date who was a witness

joy he had always been when he was growing up? How could he pos-

to these tender moments. Introductions were again made. I truly think he

sibly imagine the many times since I last saw him that he, his brother

was enjoying being a part of this awesome reunion. He appeared very comfortable, shaking hands and joining the conversation. After a brief visit, I heard words I never expected to hear,“Marian, you’ll have to come see us sometime!” Surely, I did not misunderstand, did I? The words were then reiterated by his wife. Tears began to fill my eyes as I could no longer contain this joy. Saying our goodbyes, I actually forgot to wish them a Merry Christmas. Whispering to my date, “It’s time to leave. Please take me home.” As we walked across the room, into the hall and out the door, I knew that Rainey Josey and his family could not begin to know that they had just given me the best Christmas gift – a true Christmas miracle!

photo by Jessica Moore

Marian LeGette Josey, a retired school teacher, resides in Latta where she lives in her family home.

11/24/08

2:01 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 83

Photography Originals by DAVID MAARCUM

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11/25/08

11:22 AM

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THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

Operation Santa Claus Pat Huff

pon learning the theme of the December issue of She Magazine, my daughter, Nancy Huff Caulder, encouraged me to share experiences from my teaching. For twenty years, I taught eighth grade Language Arts at Hartsville Junior High School and the most memorable times were when my students and I did special deeds for others. Many years have passed, but the memories are still there – memories of sponsoring an overseas child; replacing Franklin Squire’s “Most Outstanding Student” trophy destroyed in a home fire; taking gifts to Dr.T. E. Simpson, a retired Presbyterian minister in a Darlington nursing home on his 100th-plus birthday; having parties for all three wings of Saleeby Center; surprising a former custodian of our school with pajamas and bedroom shoes; sending a fruit basket to Coach Jimmy White’s father after surgery; adopting a young man in our town, Dick Coker, recuperating from an automobile accident and taking meals to bereaved families of students. A very special memory is when we collected several hundred dollars for the family of a fellow teacher who had developed cancer – and the list goes on. It was a first for our school when our National Junior Honor Society decided they would undertake a project for the community. They would involve the entire school by assigning every homeroom a family to adopt for Christmas and they would name their project “Operation Santa Claus.”

Honor Society members monitored homerooms daily to check on their progress. Students brought money with which clothing, food, household items, toys and games would be purchased. This was an exciting time for the school and competition developed among homerooms to see who could contribute the most. As sponsor of the Honor Society, I threw all my energy and enthusiasm into the project and my homeroom responded. I’ll never forget that first experience. We learned that little Mary Ann and James and their single-parent mother would be the recipients of our gifts and with the money collected, we did our shopping. The appointed day to make our delivery arrived and my station wagon loaded with Christmas gifts and exuberant eighth graders arrived at the home. What excitement! The little boy and girl and their mother were so happy with their presents and the teenagers were so pleased to see their joy. The project completed, our story could have ended there – but it didn’t. Everyone had fallen in love with the precious children and when learning that the family did not have a Christmas tree, the students went to work. From their homes, they brought decorations, strands of lights, popcorn garlands they had made and pooled their money to purchase a tree. Never shall any of us forget the faces of Mary Ann and James when we arrived with the tree. With everyone taking part, it wasn’t long before a beautifully decorated Christmas tree stood in the home. Our local newspaper learned of the generosity of our class and came to take pictures and write an article. My whole family had gotten caught up in the spirit of what we were doing and we invited Mary Ann and James to our home where we had Christmas goodies, played the piano and sang carols. Afterwards, I took them shopping to buy their mother a Christmas gift. So many years have passed. I am wondering where Mary Ann and James are, if they are well and if they remember that Christmas so long ago. Operation Santa Claus became a tradition at Hartsville Junior High and always created a wonderful atmosphere as the Christmas season approached. Word had spread and stories told about our project and some of my former students (now in high school) asked to be included. Another year, my homeroom was assigned a young expectant mother with three small children. My students really worked hard and under the guidance of Honor Society member, Scott Yarborough, they raised a large amount of money. It was a cold, rainy day when not only my car but several others driven by older students arrived at the home of our adopted family. Outside, we met the mother and her children and when we entered the home, we saw another child living there. Little ten-yearold Orange had been bedridden since birth and was unable to speak a word. My students were so touched and immediately went into action. One unwrapped a warm blanket and placed it over Orange. Another found a large Teddy Bear among the gifts and tucked it under the little boy’s arm. As we left, I don’t think there was a dry eye. Several months later, we were so sad to read of Orange’s death in our local newspaper. All of this happened so many years ago, but when I see one of these former students (as I occasionally do), we reminisce about their junior high days. They have never forgotten the experiences they had doing for others and especially “Operation Santa Claus.”

photo by Jessica Moore Pat Huff taught Language Arts at Hartsville Junior High School for twenty years. Retired since 1986, she still lives in Hartsville with her husband, Carl. They have three daughters, six grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

11/21/08

12:33 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 85

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11/25/08

1:59 PM

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THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

John,

A Christmas Surprise Berta Turner

my youngest son who is proudly serving in the Army, left for his

dinner with my extended family at my house. I was sad that John wasn’t with us, but

post assignment in Germany in January 2003. My husband and I visited him in April to

I made it through the night and the next morning. I took a nap that afternoon and

say goodbye days before he was deployed for his first tour in Iraq. I had so many dif-

got up to complete my part of the Christmas dinner. I was standing in the kitchen

ferent feelings about John being in Iraq. Of course, I was very concerned, but I was

and the back door opened. In walked John and his fiancé (at-the-time),Alicia. William

also very proud of him. Nonetheless, the war had just started and the unknown was

and his wife, Melanie, brought them to our house. I was overwhelmed (William was

horrible.

afraid that I was going to faint with a knife in my hand), in shock and elated at the same Christmas 2003 was his first Christmas in Iraq. We mailed

time!

a small lighted Christmas tree and gifts to him. Even

That was my best Christmas ever! John surprised me by coming home unex-

though he had gone to the United States Military

pectedly from Iraq on Christmas Day in 2003. His surprise visit was part of his two-

Academy at West Point in upstate New York for

week R & R break, but he had told us he would probably not get to come back to the

four years, he had always made it home for

states until after the holidays. My Christmas suddenly changed from being so sad

Christmas. This would be the first time he was-

because John was not with us. It was great having my entire family together; I felt

n’t going to be here. It was very hard for me.

whole again.

The previous Christmas, John and his

We went to my sister’s house for our big family celebration. When every-

Aunt Alice made a CD with songs he liked

body else was there, I told them that I had a surprise. John and Alicia walked in and

– some that he had sung in church, songs

they surprised the rest of the family, as well. After many tears of happiness, we opened

from high school and some from the

presents and enjoyed our wonderful Christmas. We were all together once again.

Glee Club at West Point – and gave

The only ones who knew about the surprise were William and Melanie. The

it to me as a gift. As a sort of con-

secret was a total shock to the rest of the family. (William told me later he and

solation, I listened to one selection

Melanie almost told me about the surprise because they didn’t like the fact that I was

constantly, “I’ll be Home for

so sad and upset.) It was definitely a surprise to me because John had even called me

Christmas.”

The song brought

Christmas morning from Virginia, but I thought he was calling from Iraq.

tears to my eyes as I would lis-

During John’s second tour to Iraq in 2006, he worked as Brigade Public

ten to it because I knew he

Information Officer. He happened to have some contact with the media and found

wouldn’t

out what Clemson University was doing to honor the troops at the home football

home

this

Christmas.

games. They were having soldiers tape greetings from the Gulf and leading the crowd

Although John was not with

in the Pledge of Allegiance over the PA system. He had communicated with his dad by

us, Christmas Eve was very spe-

e-mail, but the game date changed numerous times. Finally, he was able to confirm the

cial to me. First, we went to

game date and it happened to be the weekend that many of our aunts, uncles and

the Candlelight Service at First

cousins were going to the game. No one knew about the event except my husband,

Baptist Church in Florence.

Richard, who shared it with our other son,William. They decided to keep it a secret.

John’s friends were singing at the

The last minute at Clemson that morning, Richard told everyone except me to make

service, which made me really miss

sure we left the tailgate in time to get to the stadium for the beginning of the game.

him. I felt in my heart that he was

It was a huge surprise to hear and see my son up on the giant scoreboard. I was so

going to walk in the church. He didn’t and the tears started. After church, we had

very proud and overwhelmed – once again. This Christmas, John is back in Iraq for his third deployment tour. We last saw him in May when he moved on to his current base assignment in Fairbanks, Alaska. From there, his unit was deployed to the Gulf in September. My plans for this Christmas are to celebrate with the rest of our family. We don’t anticipate John being able to make it this year. Nonetheless, miracles do happen. I’ll be looking over my shoulder for another Christmas surprise.

Berta Turner and her husband of thirty-four years, Richard, have two sons,William and John. William and his wife, Melanie, have two sons,Will and Cole. John and his wife, Alicia, have a dog and two cats. Berta is retired, but she continues to work for Florence School District 1 at the Parent Center.

photo by Jessica Moore

11/25/08

12:56 PM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 87

Coming in 2009 Expect JoAnn Smith Lori Ann Nichols

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11/25/08

12:38 PM

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shop talk

with

Mary Janice Cooper Independent Tupperware Director

taught first grade for twenty-eight years in Kentucky. Our younger daughter sold Tupperware one summer as a part-time job. I went with her to a rally and have been hooked on Tupperware since then. That was in 2002. I began selling part-time and within a month, I knew this was for me. I began holding at least two parties a week while still teaching. The money was great and I loved socializing with other women. With Tupperware, in reality, I am still teaching. I am teaching other women how to save time and money in the kitchen, how to organize their kitchens and how to prepare quick dishes – even holiday candy in the microwave. The real joy is helping a new consultant realize her dreams and become an independent business owner like myself. I looked at the possibility of joining other direct selling companies. Tupperware has been a product I have been familiar with all my life; my mother used Tupperware. I knew it was a company with character and that it offered a lifetime warranty. I have never worked with any other company that rewarded me so nicely. With Tupperware, I have had the chance to enjoy an all-expense-paid trip for my husband and me to Hawaii. I have driven three Tupperware vehicles, earned jewelry and other awesome awards. As an Independent Director with Tupperware, I work with many women. My customers and my consultants are all very important to me. Without Tupperware and our church, I would not know very many people in South Carolina,

as we moved here not knowing anyone! Tupperware has led me to so many new friends. Tupperware offers unique products that are so useful in the kitchen and other rooms in the house. When using Tupperware, people are helping to save our environment. Tupperware advocates buy in bulk to help cut the cost of groceries. But, if you don’t have the proper containers to store the extra “savings” in, you are no better off. Tupperware offers air-tight, water-tight containers for your pantry, refrigerator and freezer. Tupperware products make wonderful Christmas gifts. When you give a gift of Tupperware, you are giving a gift that will last a lifetime. I look at our products as an investment. You are giving an awesome product, but you are also helping someone save money for years down the road. Some of our most popular products are the Vent ‘N Serve products, which are designed to go in the microwave, refrigerator and freezer. They are completely stain-resistant and virtually unbreakable. The Modular Mates and Canister Sets have been around nearly as long as Tupperware and continue to be some of our best-selling products. The Freezer Square Rounds are back by popular demand through December 26. We also have many items that are ideal for children. For more information on Tupperware products and how to earn free and half-price products or even how to begin a new part-time or full-time career, see me or one of my managers or consultants, visit my website at www.my.tupperware.com/mjcooper or call 843-662-1684.

Mary Janice Cooper and her husband, Roger, have been married for thirty-six years. They have two daughters, Celena and Natalie, and two grandsons, all of which are living in Kentucky. She and Roger had lived in Kentucky all their lives until the spring of 2007 when his job brought them to South Carolina.

11/24/08

10:51 AM

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 89

for Love for Life for Now for Ever GANDY-TILLER AND ASSOCIATES

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11/24/08

9:49 AM

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PURSE STRINGS:

by John Floyd

AVOIDING THE NIGHTMARE AFTER CHRISTMAS: Follow These Guidelines and Credit Card Debt Will Not Come Back to Haunt You in the New Year Christmastime is here and with that comes stress and apprehension of impending credit card bills. With the uncertainty of today’s economy, it is more important than ever to avoid accumulating high-interest credit card debt. However, if you manage your money carefully, you can buy all the gifts you need and not go in the “red.” To give or not to give – that is the question. Buying gifts only for close relatives and friends is something you may want to consider. For more distant relationships, opt for sending a Christmas card instead. Everyone’s trying to cut costs, so give them a call and set new boundaries. This will take a load off both your shopping lists and bank accounts. Be creative and make some homemade gifts – cookies and treats for neighbors, teachers and service personnel. They’ll appreciate the time and thoughtfulness put into the gifts and it will help them out in a pinch when they don’t have time for baking. Here are some basic credit card rules that will help you during the Christmas shopping season and throughout the year. Don’t apply for every store credit card. Sure, you could save ten percent now; however, in the long run, you may end up with higher interest rates. Keep in mind that popular chains offer incentives to their employees to get as many sign-ups as possible, particularly during the holiday season when everyone’s shopping. They’re not doing you a favor. The retail business is about making money and their research shows that they will offset their initial loss (usually about 10% of the sale) and show a profit after you have the card in hand because you will shop there more often and pay interest on unpaid balances after the first of the year. So, you’ve racked up the credit card debt and don’t know what to pay first? Look for the companies that charge the highest interest rates and pay on them first. Make larger payments than the minimum-due amount to eliminate these debts and move on to the next. For companies with lower interest rates, you can stick to the minimum payments if it means lowering your overall interest costs. Of course, it would be nice to pay them all off at once, but that’s unrealistic. Bottom line, calculate the interest and get rid of the high-interest debts first. Try using credit cards only when necessary to avoid spending too much. As a rule, credit cards are best used only when shopping online, over the phone or when traveling. If you find yourself in over your head, take action. Look in the yellow pages for consumer credit counseling services. They’ll meet with you and offer advice for settling your debts. In addition, they will negotiate with your credit card companies and set up a rea-

sonable payment plan. This will not only save you money, but it can save your credit rating, too. What are the rules for using credit cards? Most people carry credit cards in their pocket because they like the convenience of not carrying cash and the opportunity to spread out payments over time. Credit cards also have other advantages over cash. They give you another layer of protection in case of loss, fraud or unsatisfactory purchases. But, if you use a credit card, you must know how to use it properly and be able to recognize and admit when you’ve gotten in over your head. Credit card abuse can endanger your credit record and even put you at risk for bankruptcy. You can limit these dangers by keeping appropriate records, minimizing your chances of being a victim of credit card fraud and knowing the strategies to control credit card usage. What’s the best way to use credit cards? If you pay off your balance monthly, the credit card company is giving you a short-term, interest-free loan. However, your balance may occasionally be higher than your pocket can handle. Plan ahead so you only use your credit card if you can reasonably expect to pay off your balance within a few months. If you just make the minimum payment, it could take years to pay off your balance since the minimum payment may cover little more than the interest on your balance. Think about what you’re putting on your charge card. You may only use your card as a cash substitute, charging your morning coffee and b a g e l

each day. If those small items add up to a big monthly balance, you’ve turned from convenience user to big spender and you

John Floyd is with Floyd Financial Services, LLC, in Florence.

don’t have any big purchases to show for it. Your credit card debt will grow because of nickel-and-dime items you could easily have paid for in loose change. Impulse purchases can also be a problem. You might consider buying an item (especially a sale item) that you might otherwise forgo because you don’t have to pay for it right away. The convenience of credit cards can be their downfall since you can easily spend your way into bankruptcy court. Before you make an unplanned purchase, consider whether you would still be buying it if you had to pay cash for the item. If you wouldn’t lay out the money, don’t pull out the plastic either. Know when you’re in credit card trouble. If you’re taking cash advances on one credit card to make the payments on another or you are struggling to meet your minimum payment requirements each month, you’re in credit card trouble. Knowing how to avoid this situation and how to get out of it can save you from financial ruin. Watch out for credit card fraud. There are many simple ways to protect yourself against most common kinds of credit card fraud. For example, choose a personal identification number that can’t be easily figured out and never give your card number over the phone unless you make the call. Also, since family members and friends are often the perpetrators of credit card fraud, never lend your card to other people. Keep your receipts until your statement comes. Remember that card numbers are as valuable as the cards themselves, especially now that people shop by telephone and on the Internet. Keeping all your receipts in a safe place can help prevent fraud, as well as provide a record of your expenses. Check the charges on your bill each month against your credit card receipts. You’ll also have a better idea of where your money is going.

11/24/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 91

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Please stop by our booth at the Hartsville Good Living Marketplace on December 6th. 146 E Carolina Ave • Hartsville • 843.332.5103

11/24/08

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 93

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My W

by Candice Puccio

When I was four-years-old, I met Santa Claus. I didn’t catch him leaving presents under the tree and I’m not talking about the Santa’s helper that I talked to at Magnolia Mall; this was THE REAL Santa Claus – and I knew it the moment I laid eyes on him. How cool is that – to have Santa as your Papa? As I’ve said, I just knew he was St. Nick himself. He had the happiest face I had ever seen, a reddish nose, a rounded belly and the deepest, loudest laugh I’d ever heard. Why, he was only a white beard away from looking like he belonged on a December Coca-Cola can! My Papa had passed away a year and a half before and Chris Langston was my Mema’s new “friend.” Right away, I loved him. He got right down on my level so that when he spoke to me, we were eye-to-eye – no grownup had ever done that (unless I was in trouble!). On Christmas Eve that year, I was getting ready for bed when I heard something outside. My mom looked out the window and said,“Candice, you’re never going to believe this; but, Santa’s coming to the door!” I froze! Then I heard a knock on the front door. My mom told me to stand back because it could be someone trying to play a trick on us. I walked around the corner and peeked around, trying to catch a glimpse of the jolly old elf. I could hear him say something about the harness on his reindeer and how it had snapped off and he needed a wire hanger so he could fix it. I ran as fast as I could to get a hanger and handed it to Momma. I saw a gloved hand reach out and take it. It was so dark that night that I couldn’t see anything else, but I knew that it was Santa himself on my front porch – and I had helped save Christmas! The next morning, beside an empty plate of cookies, was a single silver jingle bell. The note that Santa had written said that the bell was from his sleigh and was a special thank-you for our help fixing his sleigh. As time passed, Chris began spending more time with our family and I became convinced that he had North Pole connections. When we walked through the grocery store together or went to a restaurant for Sunday dinner, children would stop and look up at him as if they knew the same thing I did. I was always so proud that I knew Santa and that I got to see him whenever I wanted. Every Christmas, Chris dressed in his red Santa suit and made the rounds at family gatherings and church events, passing out candy canes and smiles to all he met. I always looked forward to my special gift –wrapped in layer-after-layer of tissue paper, cardboard boxes, newsprint and anything else he could find. I would tear into it with

reckless abandon and half an hour later, finally get to the gift itself. It was never anything extravagant, but it was always something that he had picked out himself. Years passed and on July 4, 1992, Chris joined our family officially. My Mema’s marriage came right on the heels of my parents’ divorce. At the time, I was confused about so many things that I resented the change. It wasn’t until years later that I found out Chris was taking me into consideration, saying that he wanted me to know that there was a stable man in my life during that difficult transition. Although lots of things changed during that time in my life, one thing never did – Christmas. Every year, I could count on a note left just for me beside an empty plate and glass on Christmas morning and a gift wrapped in layer-after-layer of paper and duct tape. As the years rolled on, my Santa always had just the right gift in his bag for me. Whether it was a shoulder to cry on when my first boyfriend broke up with me, words of wisdom when I lost my first job or just enough money to buy that horribly ugly dress at Express that I fell in love with and had “to have or I would die,” I knew I could count on Chris to be there for me. He taught me the value of a dollar and why it is important to “pay myself” before I pay anyone else. He taught me that, sometimes, the best way to win an argument is to be patient and listen instead of flying off the handle. He taught me that making someone smile was just as easy as making them frown. Christmas of 2003 was no different from any other Christmas I can remember. We spent that day as we always did – opening gifts, indulging in thirteen-layer chocolate cake and listening to Chris’s stories about hiding himself in the “Santa closet” at his family’s farmhouse when he was a child. None of us had any way of knowing that it would be the last Christmas we’d ever hear that story told. In May of the following year, Chris went on to be with the Lord. Now, I’m a mom of two little girls and we’re making our own Christmas traditions. Every year when we decorate our tree, the last ornament that we hang is a very special silver jingle bell. I tell them the story that I’ve just told you – about a special Christmas Eve when Santa needed a hanger to fix his sleigh. Of all the things that Chris gave me in the years I knew him, the greatest were those that I cannot see with my eyes or hold with my hands. Instead, they are the ones that I still feel every day in my heart. While I may not be able to wrap them up in layerafter-layer of paper, I hope that I’ll be able to give my girls those same gifts that my Santa gave to me.

Candice Puccio is a Darlington native who currently lives in New York with her husband, Patrick, and two daughters, Ashlyn and Aubrey. She is a full-time mom and student and is looking forward to thawing out in South Carolina this Christmas.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 95

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o t y a w s i h T t s e b your ! r e v e s a m t Chris

SHOP, TRAVEL, PARTY, DECORATE, RELAX AND GIVE A BEST-CHRISTMAS-EVER HOW-TO GUIDE begins on page 98

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The Best Christmas Ever:

How to Party If planning the annual Christmas party provides more stress than fun, you’re going to need to make some changes. Use this party planning guide to get some quick tips and ideas to simplify your holiday routine and plan festive Christmas celebrations and parties. Get Organized: Keep checklists for all the things you need to accomplish for your party. Put the most important things at the top and consider leaving off anything that’s not completely necessary. Clean Your Fridge: It’s not a fun thing to do; but, if your refrigerator is cleaned out, it will provide much-needed room for food and drinks. Have a cooler on hand (with ice) for any extra food that won’t fit in the fridge. Keep Snacks Simple: • Skip the holiday hors d'oeuvres and set out meat, cheese and vegetable trays from the supermarket. • Provide olives, pickles, crackers and dip. Provide Non-Alcoholic Beverages: • Have traditional drinks such as coffee, hot chocolate, eggnog, cappuccino and punch available for those who don’t drink alcohol. Have Your Party Catered: • Call your local deli or catering company with a list of food you will need for your party. The expense may be well worth the extra time and relief it provides. Make It a Group Effort: • Ask for help and you shall receive. Surprisingly, it often doesn’t occur to some people to bring some goodies or pitch in and help. They can’t read your mind, so speak up! • Cleanup is a snap if you provide some extra treats for those who stay to help you clean after the party. Plan Some Entertainment: • Whether it’s Christmas caroling or crafts for kids, have some fun stuff in mind to make your party memorable. Rent a Room: • Consider having your holiday meal in a restaurant or convention room. This way, you won’t have to do the cleanup and guests won’t overstay their welcome. Have a Gift Exchange: • Set dollar limits if you’re planning a Christmas gift exchange. • Make this optional for guests and consider a theme such as gag gifts. Hang Some Mistletoe: • While it’s probably not a good idea for an office party, it’s especially fun for get-togethers with friends. Adults will enjoy the laughs and it will probably ease any tension. Have Fun: • Don’t knock yourself out trying to make the party perfect. When people begin to arrive, switch from work mode to party mode. The best hosts and hostesses are ones that relax and mingle with the guests. Be Responsible: • Don’t let any guests drink and drive. • Quit serving drinks an hour before the party ends and have a designated driver or taxicab company number handy for those who overindulge.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 99

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The Best Christmas Ever:

How to Shop by Cindy Lesesne ‘Tis the season to fight the crowds and do your Christmas shopping. If you’re like most people, just the thought of this will probably make you cringe in fear. If you’re not looking forward to hectic holiday shopping, relax; here are some practical tips to help you avoid common hassles.

Take a List: • Start your Christmas list early in the season. When the holidays near, keep a pen and paper handy to write down all your gift ideas. Always take that checklist with you when you go shopping. This way, you’ll know exactly what you need to buy and you’ll be less likely to forget anything.

Finding That Perfect Gift: • One of the most time-consuming tasks for Christmas is finding that perfect gift. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen and if you’re like me, you’ll be more disappointed than the recipient. Some people are very difficult to buy gifts for and this just adds to the holiday stress. The best strategy is to think about this ahead of time and don’t wait until the last minute. Not only will it save you money if you look for Christmas sales, you’ll have more merchandise to choose from. • When you ask friends and family what they want for Christmas, do they usually reply with, “I don’t know” or “You don’t have to get me anything”? While surprises are fun, the hours spent shopping aren’t. Not all gifts are good choices and, many times, people will buy just about anything so they can finish their Christmas shopping. Make a deal with the friends and family on your list and tell them it will be much simpler if they give you some ideas to choose from. In return, you will do the same for them. This will definitely eliminate any last-minute panic and you will receive something you really want.

Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute: • Are you one of those people who add to your own stress level by doing last-minute Christmas shopping? Do you know better, but it seems to happen anyway? Look at it this way; when you shop on Christmas Eve, you’re going to have to fight the crowds, choose from limited merchandise and wait in long lines. Buy your gifts little-by-little – beginning in November – and you can avoid lastminute shopping fiascos.

Shop in Off-Peak Hours: • Most stores aren’t very busy early in the morning or late at night. Shop at slow times and you can forgo the crowds and long lines. Better yet, find some stores that are open twentyfour hours. My brother does his Christmas shopping into the wee hours of the night. He can often get most of his shopping done in a single trip because the aisles aren’t blocked and there’s much less stress involved.

Set a Budget: • Are you still paying for Christmas gifts in January and February? Work out a budget and stick to it! Buy only affordable gifts and you’ll find it much easier to pay off your holiday credit card debt.

Look for Sales: • Watch store ads and be on the lookout for holiday sales. You can save a pretty good chunk of money because almost anything you may want to buy eventually goes on sale. • If you’re up to it, consider taking advantage of “After Christmas Sales” to get supplies and gifts for next year. You’ll have to put up with the crowds, but it may be worth the money you’ll be saving and the satisfying feeling it gives.

Buy Extra Gifts: • Find some generic items on sale that can be for a man or a woman and purchase a couple of extras. Wrap them up and put a sticky note on the box stating what the item is. This way, you’ll always be prepared if someone unexpectedly gives you a gift and you can avoid any embarrassment or hurt feelings by returning the favor.

Consider Consignment Shopping: • Holiday shopping at consignment shops is great for the lighthearted shopper – especially the upscale consignments. If you have never tried this endeavor, you should start NOW! The savings are substantial (even better than the major retailer’s holiday sales events) and your significant other will love it, too. The gifts that you will find are one-of-a-kind and unique. At the better consignments, you will see manufacturer tags and items still in the boxes. It is amazing what some people give up! It can become your (or their) treasured gift. • Go Green. Consignment shopping is also very “earth friendly.” When you buy from consignment shops, you are in a sense recycling. • Another reason to shop consignment shops during the holidays is that they are less crowded than the mall. You’ll find that you will receive excellent, friendly customer service as most shops are owner-operated. As owner of Back By Popular Demand in Florence, I offer my customers after-hours shopping by reservation (not just at Christmas, but year-round). You can call to set up a time to shop at your convenience. This is a private and comfortable shopping experience, especially if you have had a hard day and would like to end it on a good note. Check with the other shops in your area to see what they may offer.

Save Receipts: • Be prepared for broken items, wrong sizes and duplicate gifts. Always save shopping receipts for ninety days after your purchase. (This is about how long stores will allow returns for unwanted items.)

Reward Yourself: • Finally, treat yourself to a special lunch or buy a small token for a job welldone. Christmas shopping isn’t nearly so bad if you acknowledge your accomplishment and reward yourself with something inexpensive and fun.

Cindy Lesesne is the owner and operator of Back By Popular Demand, an upscale consignment boutique in Florence.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 101

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The Best Christmas Ever:

How to Give by Linda Gremillion Giving is not just duty and responsibility. Giving gives to the receiver, as well as to the recipient. Never do I feel richer than when I give. We pass this on to our children by giving to them and letting them experience giving to others. A friend told me about her little boy’s birthday where his presents were stuffed toys from his friends for children in the hospital. He personally took each toy to a child in the hospital. At Christmas, I give family and friends a donation in their name to a charity that matches their interests. A librarian got a donation in her honor to the Florence Area Literacy Council; an animal lover, a donation to the Florence Animal Shelter; a book lover, a donation to the Bruce and Lee Library. Season tickets to the Florence Little Theatre or the symphony are other ways to support the wonderful artists we have locally and are popular with folks on my Christmas list. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the trappings of Christmas (decorations, preparing the perfect food) that we lose sight of the real meaning. We have rich and fulfilling lives because we live in a Christian environment of love, caring and forgiveness. We’re indebted to good folk that came before us and gave to us. It is our turn to pass this on to others. There is no better time than Christmas and no better place than our own community. My best resource for ways to give has been my church, Central Methodist. Most churches in Florence fulfill this need. Through the church, I have had opportunities to work on Habitat for Humanity houses; help with Rebuilding Together (or Christmas in April); give to children of prisoners; donate to Ralph Porter’s Charter School, Choices and various other charities. Civic clubs, another avenue for giving, offer camaraderie and service and are a great way to plug into our community. The Rotary Club gives scholarships to young people to study and serve in other countries – an experience that broadens perspective and helps them become more productive citizens. The Sertoma Club supports local charities including Pee Dee Speech and Hearing, a nonprofit organization that offers services to any resident of the Pee Dee region. It is not enough to just give, however. We are also responsible that our efforts are directed in a productive direction. In the last twenty-plus years, several organizations have been organized that address real needs and are very worthy of support. • The Manna House started in 1992 and serves lunch Monday through Friday and breakfast three days a week. They’re always in need of

canned goods and nonperishable food products. Whenever I see a good sale, I try to buy extra. Food items can be dropped off on any weekday morning. They are located close to McLeod Hospital on 450 Jarrott Street. • House of Hope, the homeless shelters for men and women and children, started in 1988 when a minister from NC stopped in Florence and realized that the Salvation Army had to turn away homeless men because they had no place for them. This minister, Bill Fryar, returned to Florence and persisted until he established a men’s shelter in Effingham in an old school. Lucy Davis became involved and under her disciplined leadership, the shelter gained a reputation as a well-run facility. In 1999, a shelter for women and children was opened on Darlington Street. These two facilities combined their organization under the name House of Hope and now, they have a thrift store on South Irby Street that helps to support them. They provide a warm, homey temporary environment for our homeless and help them find a way to get back into the mainstream of society. • Pee Dee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Assault, located on 220 South Irby Street, is dedicated to the reduction of rape, family violence and child abuse and meeting the needs of victims. Started in 1986, it has expanded to seven counties and has service available 24 hours a day in these facilities. Because women and children often come to these facilities at night and in danger, they often arrive with no belongings. The women’s group in a friend’s church is making up kits for these people with a wash cloth, toothbrush, razor, soap, etc. There is always a need for diapers, toiletries and food, as well as money. • Lighthouse Ministries started in the early 1990’s when several of Florence’s ministers began discussing having a central location for people in need to go to for help. They knew there were people with real needs that were coming into the churches asking for help but needed a way to reach them and not duplicate efforts. With the support of the area’s churches, Lighthouse Ministries was founded in 1995 and has become a clearinghouse for people in need. They have a database that links to the utility companies and other areas where people will need help and can help direct them to getting help, as well as give out food, supplies and limited funds for rent and prescriptions. • Mercy Medicine was also started in the early 90’s by a group of concerned doctors including Myers Hicks and N. B. Baroody. The clinic is located on the site of the old Bruce Hospital on Dargan Street and gives free medical care to indigent patients. They are always in need of any kind of medical supplies and often, even left-over medicine can be used either locally or in third-world countries. • In the last year or so, the Florence schools have begun a program for volunteers in the schools to help mentor a child. The volunteers are required to attend a workshop on a Saturday morning and submit an application so they can be checked out. (Volunteering for extended periods is not a requirement.) You can visit an elementary school during lunch, have lunch with the children and just be a role model. While you don’t have to volunteer for an extended period at one time, you do have to commit to volunteering for six months to a year. The goal is to bond with a child or children. Our future is locked in our children and our way of life can disappear in one generation if we do not pass it on to the next generation. Since future prosperity and hope is often linked with education, helping a child to love learning becomes a very important mission. Call the Florence School District One office for more information (669-4141). The saying, “Charity begins at home,” is true. We have a responsibility to our community just as we have a responsibility to our home, family and friends. This is where we live and can see the needs firsthand. Just as it is my responsibility to raise my children to be productive citizens, to keep my house and yard neat and orderly and to help my friends and family when a crisis arises, it is my responsibility to do all I can to make sure my community is a good environment for all who live here.

Linda Gremillion is a Pee Dee area native, but she has lived in Boston, Indiana, Georgia and DC. She has been in Florence for over 20 years and likes SC living the best. She has three sons – Lee, Paul and Thomas – and works as a Programmer Analyst at McLeod.

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 103

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The Best Christmas Ever:

How to Travel by Teresa Semmler If you’ve got an action-packed Christmas in mind, you’re in for some fun – provided you’ve done some planning. Most people plan a wonderful holiday, but they leave out one important factor to consider – Christmas travel. Whether you’ve got fifty miles to travel or a long journey ahead of you, your trip can make or break your mood. Anticipate the pitfalls and be prepared if you go home for the holidays. These Christmas tips are for car travel and will get you off on a safe holiday trip. Plan for Delays: • Don’t wait until the last minute to pack, load the car or leave. There are many unexpected things that can take you off-schedule, so be prepared. Carsickness, bathroom breaks for kids and pets and road construction are all things that can cause stressful delays. • MapQuest the route or program it in the navigation system and decide on the best route. Portable navigation systems can be purchased for as little as $200.00 if your car is not equipped with one. • It’s best to leave early. You may arrive ahead of schedule, but you’ll be on time or not nearly as late if you should be delayed for some reason. Take Necessities: • Anticipate any problems that may arise and take along a small tote bag packed with a map, compass, watch,Tylenol, tissues, moist wipes, munchies, bottled water, paper, pen, credit card, batteries and fingernail clippers. Make sure you have your car phone charger. Stash some extra cash somewhere in the car in case you lose your wallet or for unanticipated emergencies. Have a bag handy for trash and don’t litter. • If traveling with pets, be sure to stop often. Animals need to stretch their legs and can experience car sickness, too. Have water handy, a leash and doggie cleanup bags. • Many car manufacturers make seat liners that act like a hammock, attaching to all the head rests and protecting the entire back area of your sedan. Liners for the back of SUV’s are available, too. • Lip balm and hand lotion are essential to Christmas travel. They will provide much relief to the drying effect of the car heater.

• A cell phone (and phone numbers) is convenient to contact family members and it can be a life-saver in case of emergencies. Travel Safety: • If your car is equipped with Bluetooth and voice activation, use it! Keeping your hands on the wheel and your concentration on the road (still having the capability of conversing while you drive) will ensure safety for all parties involved. Cars equipped with OnStar, BMW Assist and Tele-Aide are not only to aid if you have an accident, you can report accidents that you witness while traveling, oftentimes sending emergency vehicles faster than if called in via cell phone. • If your car does not come with a factory-installed alarm, consider having Lo-Jack installed. Some law enforcement authorities call identity theft “the fastest growing crime across the country right now.” So, keep in mind, it’s not just your car that is stolen; it’s your personal information in the glove box and your purse or luggage that will equip a well-versed thief with tools he needs to not only drive your car, but to become you! Keep Children Occupied: • Depending on the age of your children, plan for boredom, impatience and, sometimes, fights. There are many activities available specifically for traveling with kids. Invest in some simple games, drawing and reading material. Car Bingo is always a favorite. Consider splurging on a portable DVD player and some movies to make time pass quickly. If the children are taking their PSP’s, invest in car chargers for them instead of batteries. DVD players can be installed in the back of most headrests; they can be wireless and independent of each other. Some cars come equipped with iPod adapters, allowing you to plug in and listen to your tunes through the car radio. This is a great way to enjoy your favorite holiday music. • Need to catch up on some reading? USB adapters allow you to download your favorite books on tape to a memory stick and listen during those long trips. • Remember, when children are filled with anticipation for the holidays, time seems to sit still for them. Make it easier on them by playing some traditional car games like counting red vehicles or out-of-state license plates. Maintain Your Vehicle: • The single most important plan for safe Christmas travel is to have your vehicle in tiptop shape. Prior to your trip, take it in for a tune up. Have the oil and transmission fluid checked and make sure your washer fluid is full. Check the radiator for antifreeze and water levels. • Ensure that your tires have proper air pressure and don’t forget to check the spare. Consider taking along a small, portable air compressor and a can of Fix-A-Flat. Consider changing your tires to Run-Flats. You will never experience a blowout and lose control of your car. You can hit a pot hole or run over a nail and still continue to drive up to 150 miles. • Pack a small toolbox with the basics and remember to take along a flashlight for nighttime mishaps. You should also have some extra gloves and blankets in the trunk if you’re planning to travel in cold temperatures. Lighten Your Load: • Last, but not least, make arrangements to have your gifts shipped ahead of time. While this is an extra expense, you can avoid the last-minute hassles of dealing with packages and this will make your vehicle lighter, which will keep your fuel cost down. Teresa Semmler, Sales Manager for BMW and Mercedes Benz at Newsome Automotive, has three children. She has done her share of traveling across this great country. Having lived in NC; RI; Ohio; Okinawa, Japan and SC, she and her family have visited 32 states. Presently, she travels to Beaufort, SC, to visit her children and her parents – and she travels with her 92-pound Yellow Lab, Selena. “Traveling with a dog in the back seat of my BMW, with her head hanging out the window, is only slightly different than traveling with children. The only real difference is she never asks, ‘Are we there yet?’”

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She Magazine • December 2008 • 105

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Celebrate • Encourage • Reward

Thirty-One Gifts is based out of the Old Testament of Proverbs 31. Thirty-One is more than just a company. We are people who believe in encouraging, recognizing and rewarding others for who they are. • Contact me if you are interested in hosting a home show or book party. • Not only will you have a great time with your friends, hostesses can also receive free and 1/2 off items with at least $200.00 in orders. • Ask me how you can get started as a consultant for only $99.

Visit my website and shop online at www.mythirtyone.com/5256 or Contact Tara R. Barrineau at (843) 319-3427.

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The Best Christmas Ever:

How to Relax by Latrelle Fowler, RN, PhD Just as the winter holidays near, our stress levels go up. Does just thinking about Thanksgiving, Christmas and all that must be done make you tense? Do you feel like you would like to hibernate until all is done? You’re not alone. In fact, you’re in the majority! Don’t just endure another stress-filled holiday season. This article outlines some great tips for you to minimize stress. You can learn to take pleasure in the small things that often go unnoticed as you pace yourself for the upcoming celebrations. Do one thing at a time; savor each moment. Most women find it very difficult to savor time with family and friends when feeling so responsible for family and work celebrations every week from late November to early January. It seems like there is never enough time. Many of the duties such as cleaning, decorating, cooking and shopping for gifts are mostly assigned to women. With this in mind, it’s no doubt that the holidays can be the most stressful time of the year. Let’s explore ways to turn stress level down to a slower simmer.

Plan a Day at a Time - Make Time for You: • As you plan your calendar, book no more than you can enjoy. Leave one day per week and one hour each day unscheduled. This becomes your time to do what you want to do. Plan special time for meditation of the meaning of each holiday. You may post your calendar in a central location for family members to know what your plans will be each day. Remember, you can do best what you are gifted to do once you are centered with energy and know your purpose.

Get Help from Friends and Family: • For immediate holiday stress relief, distribute some tasks on your to-do list to family members. You probably won’t receive any help if you don’t ask, so don’t be shy. Put the family on notice that the holiday is going to be special and it’s going to require group effort. Some things your family always wanted may seem less important to them if they’re the ones responsible for doing it. For example, if a homemade dessert is an absolute, make a simple meal of grilled cheese sandwiches in order to arrange time to make the favorite dessert for later. Get help from someone who will later enjoy eating it. • If you’re hosting the family Christmas dinner, ask for participation. Most guests are willing to bring an appetizer or side dish to help complete the meal. Let them know ahead of time which variety of foods you need them to bring. Ask one who likes to decorate to come earlier in the week (or day) and set the table with a nice centerpiece. • Some families coordinate one day to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas on a date prior to both holidays. This takes strain off adults who are trying to share children’s time on the same date with two or more families. Realize that holidays are never perfect, nor are families. The stress can bring out the best and worst in our relationships. Be flexible and realistic in expectations of others so that you will not be disappointed.

Set a Budget – And Stick to It!

• By making lists, you’re acknowledging what you need to get accomplished. Star everything on the list that is an absolute must and do those things first. Usually, these are the most difficult chores and are best accomplished early on. Just by having a to-do list, you reduce the stress of trying to remember everything and ensure you won’t forget the most important things that need attention. Writing down specific tasks will help you accomplish the tasks.

• In this economy, no one needs to overspend for self or others. From Christmas gifts, decorations to food, avoid extending beyond your family’s income. You’re not going to appreciate credit card debts in January and February, so set limits for gifts. Don’t be tempted to bend the rules and spend more. This will lower your resolve and soon you’ll be spending more than you anticipated. • Have family members make a wish list with only items in the price range that was agreed upon. Many families find it much easier to draw names for Christmas and some buy only for the children. Better yet, take up money or canned goods and agree to donate to a favorite charity instead of exchanging gifts. Thanksgiving is the ideal time to do this and it gets everyone into the holiday spirit.

Be Organized:

Pamper Yourself – And Remember Why:

• Whether it’s your kitchen pots and pans or Christmas wrapping paper, arranging things in an organized manner will make jobs easier to tackle. Use a large clear container to store bows, tape and scissors so everything is at hand. Invest in some plastic storage containers for Christmas decorations. If you are not an organizer, ask a friend to come help you get organized in specific areas prior to the holidays. Return the favor by doing something you do well such as baking or shopping.

• The days leading up to Christmas are the most stressful, so make time for you. Find some solitude in a warm bubble bath and relax. Treat yourself to a warm beverage and light some scented candles. Listen to soothing Christmas music and take a catnap if necessary. Read about the true meaning of Christmas. Write down the things you are thankful for prior to the family holiday time and then include them in a devotion or prayer. Some of the most special gifts are tender words spoken in true love – not the things money buys. • Plan a day or just several hours only for yourself. Get your hair cut, have a massage, paint your nails or treat yourself to a favorite snack with your best friend in the park. Take time to read the Bible Christmas Story and ponder Jesus’ birth. You will forget why you are stressed and remember that God loved you so much, He sent His Son and that love is meant to be shared at Christmas.

Make Realistic To-Do Lists:

Use Disposable Cameras and/or Journals: • Don’t be solely responsible for holiday memories. Buy a few disposable cameras (with flash) and scatter them throughout the house. Tell your guests to take some candid photos whenever they see fit. Not only will they have fun doing it, you will finally get to be in some of the pictures. Have a photo album set aside for every year and bring them out before your party begins. • Buy one or two journals. Pass the journals around during family time and ask each person to share a favorite story, recipe, inspiration, song, poem or joke. Exchange emails or agree to set up a family “BLOG.” While it may seem corny at first, some find it helpful to savor the memories in a simple way. Remember to bring it out again each year. Laughter and (sometimes) tears will likely follow as family traditions are shared. Whenever one family member suddenly is gone, these handwritten notes are especially precious.

Take Control: • Most important of all – be in control. This doesn’t mean being a control freak; it means taking charge of your own life. If you’re going to run around trying to please everyone, you’ll feel resentful. Choose which things you can and cannot do – and stick to your commitments, establishing a healthy boundary. If you’re the type of person who finds it hard to say, “No,” there may be family members who are aware of that and will take advantage. Don’t let this happen anymore and absolutely do not do something you don’t want to do just because you think it’s expected of you. Be straightforward and tell them this is something that you cannot do this year. If it’s less significant, simply don’t do it. God did make you master of the universe. You’ll soon find that being in control of your own plans brings wonderful holiday stress relief.

Latrelle Fowler is a Nurse and Life Coach who lives in Florence with her husband,Tony.

Now, smile and look forward to Christmas instead of feeling that knot tighten in your stomach. Above all, worship the God Who made the greatest love sacrifice for each of us when He gave us His Son, Jesus. Who can be stressed when worshipping Him?

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The Best Christmas Ever:

How to Decorate

by Shannon McGillivray

“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas everywhere you go!” The elves are busy helping Santa load his sleigh and he has left some gifts and ideas at Goosie Ganders for you and yours. With the holidays just around the corner, we have some festive ideas and tips for Christmas decorations to create a happy family memory. Between cooking and cleaning, setting the stage for celebrations can be an overwhelming task. These easy Christmas decorating ideas will help you with the special holiday you have been dreaming of.

Christmas tree, consider using a smaller, tabletop version to satisfy your whimsical side. Then, you can have your gingerbread cake and eat it, too! Find at least one decoration that will stand the test of time. Make a memory, choose that one special ornament, write the date it was first used and it will become a conversation piece that will bring back many Christmas memories. Whether your tree is a whimsical Frosty the Snowman tree or a classic glittery golden treasure covered in butterflies and feathers, you can always add a little spice to it with a few new stems or ornaments. Magically, it will seem like a whole new tree.

Set a Holiday Atmosphere: Poinsettia Plants: Warm your family’s senses with visual and aromatic pleasures. Holiday decorations and scents are a key to setting the mood for a festive Christmas get-together. Start the sugar plums dancing in their heads with the wonderful fragrant scents of our Spicy Cinnamon HoHoHo and Christmas Currant Candles and Potpourri. These are a must to set the mood. Deck the halls with boughs of festive garland on your mantles and banisters mixed in with lights and glittering bows and ribbons. Don’t forget to set a sparkling stage with the many styles of dazzling wreaths and centerpieces that are available today. A beautiful centerpiece always adds a festive ambiance to your Christmas meal. Christmas is all about imagination and with the wide variety of décor available today, it’s easy to fill it. If you can’t find just the right arrangement, you can always have one designed just for you.

Decorate a Christmas Tree: Every family has a tradition for trimming their Christmas tree. Whether it’s adorned with treasured ornaments that have been in the family for years or a trendy flocked tree covered in lime greens and reds, it’s where the treasured presents are hidden. If you want to keep your traditional

Poinsettias provide that breath of spring we long for on those dreary winter days and they are always a popular tradition in American homes around the holidays. Because of the many new colors available today, you will definitely be able to find one to complement your Christmas décor. With a little loving care, the poinsettia will easily last through the Christmas season and provide you with lots of cheery color on into the winter months of January and February.

Nativity Scene: By setting up a lovely nativity – indoors or outdoors – we are remembering the reason for the Christmas holiday. There are so many nativity displays available today, from hand-carved to porcelain. Many sets include just Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus; others also include the three wise men, shepherds, angels and some animals. The choices are so wide that you’ll have no trouble finding just the right one for that special spot in your home, so don’t forget to include the reason for the season.

Holiday Aromas: Christmas is all about the smells – especially the ones drifting from the direction of the kitchen. Warm gingerbread cookies straight from the oven should set their taste buds dancing. How about letting visions of candy canes dance through their heads with a hot cup of Peppermint Cocoa? It is a favorite of my customers and if you’ve never tried it, you are in for a treat. If you aren’t a domestic diva in the kitchen, then stop by and pick up one of our Chocolate Raspberry Muffin Mixes or even the Cranberry Walnut Cake Mix. The recipes are on the back of the packages and you get a kitchen towel as a bonus. Whatever your preference in goodies – whether home-baked or fresh from the bakery’s kitchen – be sure and fill your family with the warmth of the holiday in their tummies, as well as through their eyes. Baked goodies are always appreciated as gifts, too. Just add a little container that can be used again next year and your present is sure to be a winner. Candles – who doesn’t love them? They add to that warm homey feeling at Christmas. There are so many holiday candle fragrances available that you are sure to find just the right scent you want for every room. With the artificial trees many of us use in our homes today, there is no reason to lose that special wintergreen smell that comes with the live green trees. Just choose a Fresh Pine Candle, believe in the magic and your tree will come alive before your eyes. I hope these tips will help you to have a wonderful Holiday Season!

Shannon McGillivray is an Interior Decorator and Owner of Goosie Ganders in Florence. She and her husband, Douglas, have a daughter, Alla.

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Keepsake Santa’s List on Canvas

Deliver your child's Christmas wishes to Santa in a special way this year! Come and choose a Santa Scroll and have your child write their wishes onto it. "Sign" with their name, handprint or footprint and tie with a ribbon. Have your child carry it with them to show Santa during their visit and bring home to cherish as a keepsake for years to come! Stop in and choose a scroll for your child today. They are available in two sizes. But hurry, these will move fast!

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real-life love stories. If you would like to submit your story for consideration, send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com. Include a day and evening phone number and FEBRUARY 2009 in the subject line. Deadline is December 30, 2008.

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Salvador, BRAZIL “We went on a cruise to the Bahamas and took our

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Great Gifts for a Proud

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We’ll never forget that morning back in March when we both got on the scales and realized we were both almost three times the persons we married nearly thirty beautiful years ago. Realizing that nothing we tried was working, we immediately asked the Lord for help. We had to make a drastic change. We found ourselves in the Florence office the next day with Dale and Debbie. Thanks to them and the Physicians Weight Loss Centers Plan, Charlie lost 59 pounds and 67.5 inches, while I, Marcia have lost 52.5 pounds and 80.25 inches. We praise the Lord for not only helping us lose our weight, but for giving us a new lease on life! Dale, Debbie and Amanda have become friends as well as mentors through our journey, as we have learned how to lose weight safely and consistently. We feel better and definitely look better. To God be the glory! *Special based on a full service 16 week Physicians Fast program. Required nutritional supplements & medical fees, if any, at regular low prices. Results may vary. An independent physician is in the Center a minimum of one evening a week. 2008 Physicians WEIGHT LOSS centers of America, Inc®. Akron, OH 44333. All Rights Reserved. A Health Management Group TM company.

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omen eight

by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD

AND HORMONES

Midlife weight gain isn’t always a matter of what or how much you eat as much as how well your body metabolizes food. Hormones play a distinctive role in total metabolism, weight gain and loss. Have you noticed how changing hormone levels in the midlife affects your weight and where fat gets stored on your body or why eating habits you got away with when you were younger are now getting you in trouble with excess body fat? It isn’t the absolute level of hormones that’s critical; the ratio of the various hormones determines how much and where we gain body fat. You have to look at the hormones in an integrated approach in order to understand how you gain and lose weight. Hormones – chemical communicators that carry messages to and from all organs of the body and serve to connect one organ function with another organ function – work to keep the body balanced and functionally optimal. Hormones are very potent molecules that exert enormous effect on the target organs. The brain directs the output of hormones and the hormones, in turn, affect the brain’s response. An introduction to the various hormones and their primary actions helps to explain their impact on metabolism and weight. The first hormone is Estrogen in which there are three types: Estrone (E1), Estradiol (E2) and Estriol (E3). Estrone increases at menopause as the balance of Estradiol drops. Higher Estrone levels are associated with a slower metabolism and – you guessed it – more weight gain. Estradiol (E2) is the prominent Estrogen produced by the ovaries and is the one we lose at menopause. It contributes to improved insulin response, enhanced mood, sharper thinking, increased bone mass and better quality of sleep. A decline in Estradiol can cause your metabolism to be more sluggish and harder to lose excess fat. Estriol (E3), the weakest of all the Estrogens, is produced by the placenta during pregnancy. Not normally present in measurable amounts in non-pregnant women, it is promoted as the safe estrogen because it has such a weak effect on target tissues. Progesterone is a hormone responsible for sustaining the body during pregnancy. Progesterone slows the movement of food throughout the digestive tract and increases the absorption of nutrients. It can also contribute to food cravings and a bloated feeling. Due to Progesterone’s effect on the brain, it has a calming and sedating effect. Progesterone has the opposite effect of Estrogen on many target tissues, promoting a balancing effect between the two hormones. When you were ovulating, these hormones were in fine tune with each other. Those were the days when you could eat what you wanted and didn’t gain a pound. Testosterone is essential for a healthy sex drive, but it also has a critical effect for healthy weight management. It helps to build muscle and bone and uses fat for fuel, which in turns help to decrease your excess body fat. Since women in their midlife lose 95% of their Estradiol and over 50% of their Testosterone, it’s no wonder they are struggling with weight problems. Testosterone is a muscle-building, lean-mass-sustaining, metabolic-stimulating hormone. DHEA, another male-like hormone produced in the adrenal gland, is also made by ovaries before menopause. Most studies of DHEA show weight gain in women and negative effects such as facial hair, acne, restless sleep and irritability. Thyroid Hormones,T3 and T4, are the metabolic regulators that govern energy use and production in every cell in our body. All metabolic pathways depend on normal thyroid function. When thyroid function is too low or out of balance with Estrogen, women will gain weight easily. Cortisol, known as the stress hormone, rises in response to stress. Persistent stress leads to food cravings – especially for sweets – and we generally eat more to compensate. Increased Cortisol leads to middle-body weight gain and storage of fat in the abdomen and hips instead of promoting fat breakdown. Cortisol affects glucose metabolism and controls where sugar goes into the cell for energy or is deposited outside of the cell for fat deposition. Prolonged stress will lead to a decrease in Cortisol

production, which will result in feelings of fatigue, cravings for sugar and salty foods. Insulin affects our blood sugar by moving glucose out of the blood into the muscle where it can be used for energy. Insulin resistance is associated with excess Estrogen production. Insulin is a very anabolic hormone that is commonly used by body builders to promote size. Insulin resistance contributes to fat around the middle of our bodies. The major culprit for weight gain is not Estrogen, but instead, an imbalance of hormones. The key issue is balance. An obese woman probably doesn’t need Estrogen because of conversion of Testosterone to Estrogen in the fatty cells. Many patients receive Estrogen through the intake of beef, which is loaded with hormones. The cows are fattened by use of excess steroids, which is metabolized to Estrogen in our body. A thin patient may have a much higher requirement of Estrogen. I always assess the patient up front for her Estrogen dose. Most women that are in hormone balance require very little Estrogen or none at all. One should be on the lowest dose of Estrogen that she can tolerate without symptoms. I do this by slowly tapering the hormones until the woman has symptoms. Not many women can stop their Estrogen cold turkey without having withdrawal symptoms. The Estrogen Patch is a good way to taper off because of all the small dosing increments avoiding the oral route of administration, since this normally requires a higher dose for symptom relief and has a more profound metabolic impact. The use of Progesterone allows one to cut the Estrogen dose in half many times upfront. One should slowly taper off to avoid a withdrawal effect. Oftentimes, one can use Testosterone in place of Estrogen because of the conversion of Testosterone to Estrogen and receive the muscle toning and energy benefit not seen with Estrogen. I always shutter when I see the patient on Estrogen not balanced with Progesterone. Remember when you were menstruating, your Estrogen and Progesterone worked in concert with each other creating a delicate balance. In those days, you could eat what you wanted and would not gain a pound. Do you get the picture of how important balance is to maintaining your weight? When I have a patient come to me for weight management, there are several tests performed, including a morning urinary Cortisol, a fasting-insulin level and a thyroid profile. These metabolic parameters must be normalized before a patient can be successful with her weight-loss goals. Low Cortisol – or Adrenal Fatigue – is treated with rest, nutrient supplements and actually changing one’s eating patterns. Many women can be successful with their weight loss by eating more frequently. The thyroid must be treated first and normalized before a weight-loss program is initiated. An elevated insulin level is treated with an oral hypoglycemic agent and the level is rechecked in six weeks and adjusted. The patient must also be assessed for depression or anxiety and look for medicines that affect the appetite. Many antidepressants increase Serotonin levels, which are thought to stimulate appetite. Some of the Dopamine antidepressants actually have a stimulatory effect and can be used for weight management. I will have the patient do a saliva hormone test to get an assessment of the hormone ratios, as well as excessive and deficiency of certain hormones. This allows the patient to see firsthand that she has a hormone imbalance and these are the steps we must take to resolve it. Patients are more inclined to take their hormones if they know for a fact they have an imbalance. The midlife years may be a time of hopping hormones and other changes in the body, but this means you shouldn’t resign yourself to not feeling your best. Midlife is time to pay attention to ourselves and take care of the wonderful gifts of our mind and body. First and foremost, you need to understand what is happening hormonally in your body, which is what is making you gain weight. My goal for you is to help you tap into the power of your hormones to lose weight and feel better than ever!

If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence. Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.

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.Shopping List 1 1 2 1 1 1

box of Duncan Hines Fudge Marble cake mix teaspoon of baking soda large eggs & 1/2 cups of buttermilk teaspoon of vanilla extract 1-ounce bottle of red food coloring

For Cream Cheese Frosting: 1 stick of margarine or butter, softened 1 8-ounce cream cheese, softened 1 box of confectioners sugar 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Directions For Easy Red Velvet Cake: 1. Combine all of the above ingredients 2. Blend on low speed until moistened 3. Beat on high for 2 minutes 4. Pour into 2 cake pans that have been sprayed with Baker’s Joy 5. Bake for 350 degrees for about 30-35 minutes (*) (*) Note: If you use 3 cake pans, bake for about 20-25 minutes. For Cream Cheese Frosting: 1. Cream margarine and cream cheese until well blended 2. Gradually add confectioners sugar 3. Add vanilla extract, beating well If desired, add nuts or any decorations of choice. Refrigerate until ready to serve

From the kitchen of Jeanie Dutton

Easy Red Velvet Cake I have always loved baking! I think it started when I was a little girl, making mud pies with my sisters. The only problem was you couldn’t eat them because they were real mud pies. My mom is a wonderful cook and baker, so I had to inherit a small part from her. She and my dad raised three daughters that can all do pretty well at baking. During the holidays, you can always find a multitude of different desserts to choose from at our houses. No one ever leaves hungry. One of my most requested cakes for Christmas is the Red

Velvet Cake. It is such a colorful and festive cake – especially at Christmas. It became such a popular request that I have perfected a very simple but great recipe that I found in the Taste of Home magazine some years ago. When I tell people how to make this cake, they can’t believe I’m talking about a Red Velvet Cake. Trust me! It is a Red Velvet Cake, but it’s my wonderful Easy Red Velvet Cake. So, don’t stress about the holidays. Just prepare this easy but wonderful dessert and enjoy! I hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas!

Jeanie Dutton is a Nurse at Carolinas Hospital System. She and her husband, Ladd, have two beautiful boys, Zachary and Colt.

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She Christmas Gift Guide Goodies for All Ages

Gourmet Holiday Gift Sets Goosie Ganders, Florence

Mississippi Cheese Factory Goodies Porter’s Gift Shop, Florence

Holiday Gift Basket Mcleod Farms Market, McBee Carson ePix Digital Microscope The Toy Shop, Florence

4D Ultrasound Gift Certificates Advanced Women’s Care, Florence

Wall art by 12 Tembers Baby Furniture and More, Florence

Twilight Ladybug by Cloud b Minnie’s Giftique, Hartsville

Starry Sleighride® Fruit & Chocolate Fruit Basket Edible Arrangements, Florence

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The Perfect Christmas Gift

Expanded Gourmet Food Range • Traditional Pecan Products Pre-ordered Cakes, Muffins, and Bread by Benton Dargan • Locally produced Ice Cream/Coffee • New Packaging • Sandwiches • Gift Items

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LOWEST PRICES OF THE SEASON DURING NATIONAL KARASTAN MONTH October is National Karastan Month, and we’re offering up to 50% off on every gorgeous Karastan carpet and rug. Every pattern. Every color. Come in today and save. Sale ends October 31, 2008. Carpet • Tile & Stone • Wood Laminate • Cabinets Counter Tops • Area Rugs Wall Coverings

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She Christmas Gift Guide For The Domestic Goddess Lion & the Lamp figurine by Roman Inc. National Hardware, Florence

Golden decorative dishes Goosie Ganders, Florence

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Tis the Season decorative wine bottle cover and stopper Goosie Ganders, Florence

Old Cuckoo clock with music box, made in Germany by E. Schmeckenbecher Back by Popular Demand, Florence

Holiday chip and dip platter Mantissa Row, Hartsville

Decorative Christmas Penguins Flowers by Starks, Florence

Christmas throw pillows with humorous quotes Goosie Ganders, Florence

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She Christmas Gift Guide For Those Who Deserve To Be Pampered Handmade Soaps and Bath Salts Harvest Moon Soapworks, Florence

Peptide Plus Eye Treatment Skinsations Medispa, Florence

Sensual Body Oils Heartbeat Lingerie, Florence

Obagi Skin Transformation Kit Windham Aesthetics, Florence

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Dermalogica Skin Care Systems Forum Spa, Florence

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She Christmas Gift Guide For The Fashionista Chocolate Polka Dot Skirt Purse Thirty-one GiftsFlorence Women's Cowboy Boots by Justin City Sports, Hartsville Handmade Dichroic Jewelry Calder Jewelry, Florence

A little bag of joy The Blue Curtain, Hartsville Dichroic glass jewelry handcrafted in Florence by Barbara Mellen The Earring Lady, Florence Suede boots by Brox Flossie Maeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, Hartsville

Cheetah Print Patent Leather Purse First Impressions, Florence 14K Diamond Palmetto Tree Pendants Jones-Smith Jewelers, Florence

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She Christmas Gift Guide For The One On the Go The Samsung Delve™ Wireless Connections, Hartsville

Costa del Mar glasses Pee Dee Optical, Florence

Confetti Professional Clog by Dansko Palmetto Uniform, Florence

ZOOT Sports Ultra® Footwear Fitness Forum, Florence

Blue SC Palmetto Tree handbag by Carolina Purse Fitness Forum, Florence

Relaxing Vacation to Hawaii Unlimited Travel, Florence

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She Christmas Gift Guide For Those Who Have Everything Beautiful dinner ring with a genuine blue Sapphire and Diamond. 18 ct. white gold Sarmiento Jewelers, Florence

Sapphire & Diamond Palmetto Tree Necklace Main Street Jewelers, Darlington

Pandora “The Rainbow Bracelet” Jones-Smith Jewelers, Florence

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Uterine Fibroids are benign (noncancerous) tumors that grow on or within the muscle tissue of the uterus. Approximately 20-40% of women 35 years and older have fibroid tumors. Fibroids are more common among women of African-American descent.

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RICHARD NASH, D.D.S., P.A. FAMILY & COSMETIC DENTISTRY 1507-A Heritage Lane • Florence 843-665-4477 SKINSATIONS MEDISPA 1611 Hazel Dr • Florence 843-662-1515 www.scskin.com SOUTHERN STATES CLEANING, INC 843-662-1551 SPA DE VIE SALON AND SPA 1800 W. Palmetto St. • Florence 843-669-4333 www.spadevie.net THE PLAZA 1941 Suite B Hoffmeyer Rd. • Florence Shops of Seven Oaks 843-665-5668 THE SALON 1263 Celebration Blvd • Florence 843-662-4003

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Sheroes She is a woman on a mission and her goal is to invest in widespread social change. by Cyndie Geries

Daphne Areepanthu ave you ever met a “Social Warrior”? If not, let me introduce you to Daphne Areepanthu who never considers roadblocks, barriers or apathy when it comes to enhancing the lives of children in Darlington County. She is a woman on a mission and her goal is to invest in widespread social change. A nurse by trade, Daphne was born and raised in Kentucky. She received a BSN in Nursing from the University of Kentucky and moved to Hartsville in 1998. She managed the ER and ICU at Carolina Pines Hospital when it opened ten years ago and later started the PCU. Daphne was instrumental in getting the ER certified as a Level Three Trauma Unit. In 2006, Daphne, her husband, Dr.Abe Areepanthu, and their-now six-yearold daughter, Lila, embarked on a new endeavor by establishing Carolina Kids, LLC. Their vision is to network with community agencies, businesses, industries, civic clubs, schools and the faith community to improve the quality of life for children and to encourage an accountable system of support. Based on information provided by the South Carolina Office of Research and Statistics, a bleak picture is painted for children and families in Darlington County. Thirty percent of the population lives in poverty, approximately ten percent of adults are unemployed, twenty-two percent of the population receives food stamps and 111 children are currently in foster care. Tragically, Darlington County ranked number one in South Carolina’s Index of Crime Rates per 10,000 of the population in 2006. Daphne is emphatic about providing children with opportunities to grow, learn and develop into respectful contributing citizens. She has pulled together a very diverse seventeen-member Board of Directors to serve Carolina Kids, LLC and assist in her efforts to create a “citizen-centered community of volunteers” to mentor, tutor, support and sponsor opportunities for all children. Did you know that there is a saint among us? If not, let me introduce you to Daphne Areepanthu, whose home is filled with school supplies and personal hygiene items. Carolina Kids’ first project was establishing a “Backpack” program that has now provided almost 1,000 book bags filled to the brim and distributed to children in Darlington County School District. This is an ongoing program that receives contributions year-round. A recent kindergarten recipient excitedly announced that she is so happy to have her own toothbrush and no longer has to share one with her daddy.

“Christmas Wishes” is a Carolina Kids’ program in its third year. Believing that every child deserves a memorable holiday, Daphne immerses herself in networking to make dreams come true. She calls upon everyone she knows to help and with the assistance of many elves, lists are formulated, presents are purchased, gifts are wrapped and delivered to needy children and families. This year, well over one hundred families will be served through the efforts of Daphne, Lisa Fagan (School Social Worker) and a host of other sponsors. Have you ever met anyone all dressed up with no place to go? That definitely is not Daphne Areepanthu. She is a classy act, but her thoughts are always focused on charity for children. One of Carolina Kids latest programs is a “Community Clothing Closet.” Adult and student volunteers staff the closet and fill requests using vouchers provided to all schools. Plans are being made to house the “Prom Closet” that provides formal wear and accessories to needy high school students at the community closet site on the Thornwell Elementary campus. “Everyone Should Go” is another Carolina Kids’ program that provides financial support for enrichment programs and educational opportunities for needy children. Scholarships and vouchers are issued for field trips, day camps, overnight camps and summer enrichment programs. Daphne is passionate about creating opportunities for all children. A middle school student exclaimed that the chandelier in an upscale Charleston hotel is as big as the school bus. “Planting Citizens for Tomorrow” is a gardening program that is being revived from the former very successful garden project on the campus of the old HJH. Daphne’s husband, Abe, and other Master Gardeners will assist and mentor children as they develop an herb garden on the grounds of Saffron Catering in Hartsville. Saffron is a two-year-old business that was started by the Areepanthu and Gorenson families. Watch out for recycling efforts, as well as a worm farm. (Save your coffee grounds.) “Hunger Busters” is the newest Carolina Kids’ program that is being developed as this article is written. Needy children, mostly those on free or reduced lunch, will leave school on Fridays with a bag of non-perishable food items to enjoy over the weekend. Certainly, by now, you must realize that Daphne is not only the She Hero of the Month; Daphne is also the hero to many deserving children.

Cyndie Geries is an educator with 39 years experience. She is an Attendance Supervisor with Darlington County School District. She is the mother of two grown children. Her son, Sid, works for Sonoco and her daughter, Mary Helen, is a Child Protective Service Worker for DSS.

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the Christmas by Marti Miller

Witch

As I was searching for inspiration for this merry best-Christmas-ever issue and turning over all the memory stones in my head (translation: box of rocks), I poked around a little in the rubble of the article written last year. It mentioned many sad truths and happy rememberings of Christmas Past and great hope for finding and using our differing gifts. This season, I find myself at a crossroad – joyful in faith, yet somewhat concerned for what I have, or have not, done with it this year. In the search for meaning and understanding, I perhaps have been sinking too deeply in the quagmire of questing for knowledge. (Now, wasn’t THAT a sickeningly deep sentence all by itself?) When we dig deeply, we really can pull out the plums, but we can also get hopelessly stuck in the pie. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful pie in which to be stuck, but the operative word here is “stuck”. Am I just a little too busy trying to grasp the meanings and not active enough in the doings? Am I, as usual, missing the theme of this Christmas issue? Guilty. Okay, where were we? Right.We’re choosing the very best Christmas memory ever.This is a most difficult task. I remember parts of many Christmas seasons. I remember being fearful that Santa might catch me awake, thus spoiling any hope of finding Chatty Cathy under the tree. I recall wishing I could be one of Santa’s helpers so I could rightfully snack on the gingerbread cookie lounging on that plate by the tree.Then there was the year I was finally old enough to attend Midnight Mass. The combination of burning incense and eggnogbreathed, over-perfumed parishioners and too many cookie raids earlier in the day brought forth a rather violent reaction in the car on the way home. As a teenager, I felt compelled to express my displeasure at not getting clothes from stores one particularly moody Christmas morning (What I would give now for a hand-knit sweater or mom-made skirt.) And that, unfortunately, signaled the birth of the Christmas Witch. There was the year my long-suffering husband surprised me with an exercise bike, shortly after the birth of our second child in 15 months. I cried for hours.What was he thinking? Turns out he was thinking only of me. After I stopped shrieking and sobbing, he reminded me that all I had complained about for the past 3 months was how fat and flabby I had become. He also reminded me that each time I whined about it, he confirmed how beautiful I was to him, just the way I was. He loved all of me. And that, unfortunately, was quite a load. It only took me about seven months and 3000 miles on that stupid bike to almost forgive him for giving me what I said I wanted but really hoped I didn’t need. An ungrateful and a grudge holding witch was I.What a prize. Of course, this was the same husband who decided earlier in our marriage to go Christmas shopping with his best fire department buddy 24 hours before the actual day arrived.The gifts received that year included a sweater vest that looked very much like the fuzzy maroon material that covered toilet tanks back in the 70’s. Was I gracious about it? I was indeed, if you consider it gracious to run out of the room laughing hysterically and swearing I would never, ever be caught dead wearing that thing in public or in private.There was no attitude of gratitude on that Christmas Day. I could have instead been thankful that he had survived a particularly nasty series of fires in DC that year. But no, I was focused on the ugliness of that toilet tank sweater gift purchased at the last minute and probably between hearty toasts at the local pubs. Cheers? I think not. Then, there was the Christmas that I wanted to channel my mother and bake wonderful cut-out cookies for my precious little family. Okay, I also wanted to eat the little bells and trees and gingerbread people, but let’s not dwell on my sugar addiction, shall we? Let’s just say that throwing wads of dough around the kitchen while shrieking filthy words is not exactly the cozy Christmas memory I wanted to provide for my little darlings. They still cringe when I mention Christmas and cookies in the same sentence. Unfortunately, they adopted some of those nasty words into their vocabularies and added a few more of their very own. There goes the Happy Holiday Mom award. Cookie dough and rolling pins continue to conjure up nightmares. Speaking of horrible dreams, has anyone besides me experienced that recurring Christmas morning nightmare? You know, it’s the one where you wake up that morning only to realize that you have not decorated the tree or stuffed the stockings or wrapped the presents or made the breakfast casserole or baked the cookies or set the plate out for Santa or tucked the special treasure under the pillows of your sleeping angels, and now everyone is staring at you in horror and disbelief as if you had somehow, single-handedly, and with malice aforethought, accomplished the task of totally wrecking Christmas for everyone forever? Then you wake up and realize it’s only December 10th.The sad truth is that I continued to have it, many years after my “sleeping angels” awakened and transformed into surly teenagers. So, here we are at the end of our time together and I still haven’t managed to complete the task of describing the best Christmas ever.The witch kept getting in the way. Maybe it’s time to ditch her and reach forward in the hope of creating new memories. Perhaps it is the Marti Miller lives and hopes in Christmas yet to come that will be the best one ever. Maybe each Marion, SC and is learning to enjoy December 25th brings us a new kind of wonderful – one where we the warmth of cardinals in her palm tree instead of wishing for remember its true meaning. Perhaps it is in the doing and sharing that the just one more snow-covered real gifts and lasting memories appear. Having faith is one thing; living it and Christmas with no empty seats sharing it is quite another. So, I will still go to the kitchen this Christmas, but, around the table. Lord, please help me to stop flinging and start building instead a humble pie using the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Better double up on that self-control portion. As for the Christmas Witch, may God shout to her soul and pierce her heart with His words. May He linger with her over breakfast each morning and gently guide her to sleep each night. And may His presence be all the gift she ever needs.

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SHELBY ARD

y z a r C

‘Bout Christmas

Lean in. Listen closely to the soundtrack of this piece. “Deck the Halls” is tinkling in the background as Shelby Ard thoughtfully places silver and gold balls on the tree in her living room – one of the seven trees she will decorate this year. However, she would probably change the lyrics of the classic carol to “deck the halls with bows and garland” (Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la) since she considers those two items to be staples for Christmas decorating. And she’s really doing it big this year in memory of her mother. “Mama loved Christmas and loved decorating for Christmas. This is her biggest Christmas ever because it’s her first with Jesus, so I’m going all out this year for her,” she shared. Shelby’s crazy about Christmas, and she caught the spirit of decorating from Robin, her cousin and friend, a few years ago. She now calls Robin her secret weapon (she also calls Robin the master and dubs herself the flunky in the duo) because Robin taught her that she could decorate an entire house with enough ribbon and garland. That one concept revolutionized her approach to decorating for Christmas. She and

by Cookie Cawthon

Robin often shop and decorate together. Though Robin buys Christmas decorations all year long; Shelby only shops for new Christmas supplies and pretties the last four months of the year. She said she started shopping this year around the end of August. That’s about the time she cannot walk through Hobby Lobby or Kirkland’s without finding a new addition that she must have! She claimed a spare bedroom as her Christmas workshop at the end of October as she began to retrieve her holiday finery from the attic. The room was meticulously organized as she grouped ornaments by trees, precisely arranged her snowman collection, and groomed and straightened her garland to be draped on hangers in the closet. She organized and prepared and the creative process began. It takes Shelby approximately three weeks to decorate for Christmas. She is quick to point out that she doesn’t overlook Thanksgiving; it’s just a necessity to begin very early when there is so very much to do. She decorates and keeps the blinds drawn for those three weeks, so she can enjoy the growth of Christmas in her home without arousing the disdain of her neighbors. She flips the switch and tears open the shutters and throws up the sash on the night after Thanksgiving. Her covert decorating operation allows her to curl up in her comfy chair, bask in the soft lighting of Christmas tree lights, and enjoy the visions of sugar plums dancing in her head while the rest of her neighbors are fighting tangled strands of lights and wrestling mangled pieces of garland. This year her favorite addition is the lighted swag (punctuated with large colorful ornaments) over the entry into her great room. She will trim seven trees this year: a traditional Santa with red and green plaid; a fruit tree; a pink and purple princess tree for her granddaughter; a cream, gold, and silver tree with angels, a red and green tree; a tree bedecked with blue, silver, and cream balls; and another for her back porch. She puts out all of her decorations each year, and last year she even decorated her closet, so there won’t be a single room in her house unaffected by the Christmas spirit. Shelby emphatically declares that there’s no such thing as too much greenery, too many lights, or too much Christmas. Bah, Humbug! She thinks people are often timid about moving lamps and pictures and candles and arrangements to make room for Christmas; she advises neophyte decorators to stick that stuff in a closet and unroll the holidays in their homes. Secondly, invest in several beautiful yet inexpensive ribbons and garland; cut it, style it, put a bow on it and voilà! Thirdly, she suggests that a decorator should stick to what they like and enjoy. For example, she is most fond of Santas, snowmen, and angels so she displays them together all over the house.ss that decorating generates. She loves the unpacking and the arranging and the creating, and then she turns around to a room completely littered with boxes and paper and packing materials. That’s her least favorite aspect of it all. When all of the festivities are complete, she’ll divest her home of its Christmas trappings beginning the day after Christmas, and she will have it all packed in the attic within two days. As she so aptly described, Christmas is a season where everyone seems nicer, families seem closer, and times seem happier. It’s an interval of celebration, and decorating for it is like therapy to Shelby. She can turn her imagination out to play and that is freeing and fulfilling. She finds immense joy in the smile and amazement of loved ones as the spin around in wonder discovering new delights with each darting glance. Shelby is crazy about Christmas, and she enjoys making it a four-month affair. So, turn up the volume on “Deck the Halls,” tie some bows, straighten some garland, and work a little Christmas therapy of your own.

Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), obsessed blogger at www.cookiecawthon.com, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.

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What is the best gift you have ever received?

1 Chris Hewitt - Florence “My daughter.”

2 Carl Huff - Hartsville “The best Christmas gift I have ever received was a guitar that my father and mother gave me the Christmas that I was twelve-years-old. I had seen it in the window of a furniture store in downtown Hartsville and wanted it so badly. Later, when I went back to look at it and it was no longer there, I was so sad. Then, Christmas morning came and there it was propped up on a chair! I was so happy!”

Neil Morgan - Lake City “The best gift I have ever received is salvation through my Savior, Jesus Christ. I’m the least deserving of this gift; but, by God’s grace, I am able to receive it.”

4 Rick Pease - Marion “My best Christmas ever has to be the first Christmas with my wife and new children. To see their little faces light up brighter than the tree on Christmas morning is a memory that will last forever. Though every Christmas is special, this one is the most memorable.”

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140 • December 2008 • She Magazine

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by Heather Frick

KELSEY NORTON

little girl’s dreams came true as Kelsey Norton opened her mailbox one afternoon. She saw “Kelsey Norton” labeled on the Clemson envelope. Not being able to wait any longer, she tore into her future. A new life was waiting inside. The letter simply read, “You have been accepted into Clemson University.” Kelsey was so excited, she began to cry. “It was one of the happiest moments of my life,” she says. After graduating from Hartsville High School in 2008, Kelsey knew what she wanted to do – go to Clemson to obtain a degree in nursing. At Clemson, she is doing just that. Kelsey is currently enrolled in Biology, Sociology, a nursing class, math, and a university course. Her favorite course is biology She estimates her graduation from Clemson will be in May 2012. Then, her plans are to attend the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC) to become a doctor or surgeon with hopes that her ambitions will lead to a position at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. As for now, Kelsey is enjoying life at Clemson. A member of Zeta Tau Alpha Sorority, she represents her sorority on the Greek Junior Panhellenic Board. She is also involved with the Clemson Fellowship of

Christian Athletes (FCA) and is a member of IPTAY. Kelsey spends her spare time hanging out with friends, going to Clemson football games, being a part of her sorority and attending other events held by the university. Her absolute favorite part of Clemson is game day. Kelsey says, “there's nothing better than tail gating all day before the game, watching the tigers run down the hill, and cheering with 82,000 of your closest friends.” With Christmas approaching, Kelsey looks forward to being home for a month with family and friends. Being at Clemson has taught her to appreciate her family more than ever. “I miss the small things my parents did for me that I so often took for granted,” Kelsey says. She will also enjoy her break relaxing and getting plenty of rest before the next semester. Slightly less important, however, holding great interest, Kelsey is ready to see what will be under the Christmas tree. She’s in hopes its money and clothes! As for doing anything differently, Kelsey wouldn’t change a thing. She believes,“Life is too short to regret; it’s better to just live and learn.”

Kelsey is the daughter of Eydie and Eldridge Norton from Hartsville, SC. She has an older sister, Candace Norton, and an older brother, Scott Norton, who is married to Candy Norton. Kelsey is the proud aunt of beautiful niece Kirstin.

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the UNOPENED

Gift BY COOKIE CAWTHON

I really dig gifts. I mean, my family lovingly ridicules me for my lengthy lists at gift-receiving occasions. I can break it down to page numbers in favorite catalogs and links to items sold by online retailers. In my mind, I think I am being super helpful by being so detailed. The truth of it is that I just really enjoy receiving gifts, and I want to do everything I can to increase my chances of snagging the goods I want. Quite self-serving, I realize. Maybe the fact that I also love to give gifts is something of a redeemable quality. It can take me several trips to several

different stores to locate just the right gift for someone. And it doesn’t matter if I’m buying for a child I really barely know or for my dear husband; it is my objective to arrive on the scene with a thoughtful, perfect gift. I so enjoy giving a gift that the recipient prizes! So, it’s surprising - even to me - that I allowed an unopened gift to remain under my tree for fourteen Christmases. Yep, fourteen Christmases. How does one do that, you may ask. It wasn’t as difficult as you might imagine. We always have gifts left under our tree after Christmas – gifts for loved ones we didn’t get to visit with over the holidays. We put them aside when we disassemble the tree, and we store them until we’re able to make a delivery. That’s kind of how it went with the unopened gift. It was for me. It was adorned with generous red shiny paper and a perfect green bow. It was beautiful, but Christmas after Christmas I chose not to accept it. I would easily preoccupy myself with the other gifts that bore my name. “I don’t need that one,” I would think to myself. Months would pass; life would distract me, and I’d forget about it for a while. Until the season returned and the shimmer of the red paper caught my eye once more. Somehow it never grew dusty and never showed wear or age… Truth be told, I had a grievance with the giver. I heard negative things about him, and I also made up my own rubbish about him too. You know how we tend to do that - assume the worst and then embellish that in our imaginations. I didn’t trust him a bit, and each year I would argue that I didn’t need his stinkin’ gift since I had already gone so long without it. I was sure that he would expect too much in return if I dared to unwrap it. But there it sat each year, under my tree. I would glare at it sometimes. At other times, I would sit by it washed in the tender glow of strung lights. And still at other times, I would evaluate it with my head tilted and eyebrow cocked with interest. There were people in my life who lovingly encouraged me to open it; they were confounded by my obstinacy. Others tried to dissuade me from opening it – feeding my doubts and distrust. Another contingent boasted about knowing the giver and having received gifts from him, but their words were hollow and not convincing at all. I refrained from opening the gift… Until one night when I found myself in the midst of a crowd who wanted me to unmask the mystery. In a moment I claimed the gift and tore into it in a flash. I don’t know what I expected it to feel like, but it was so light – surprisingly light. And what I found inside changed the course of my life. It was the love of One who had loved me all along. It was pure and perfect and delightful, and I had been wrong, wrong, wrong for years. I had been mistaken about the Giver – who He is and what He wants from me. I found Him to be tender and merciful, forgiving and patient, powerful and gentle, compassionate and true. And you know what - He never asked what took me so long. He was not angry that I had been so stubborn. He just smiled and was pleased. Every good action and every perfect gift is from God.These good gifts come down from the Creator of the sun, moon, and stars, who does not change like their shifting shadows. (James 1:17, New Century Version).

Cookie Cawthon is blessed to be wife to Chris, mother to Carson (6) and Campbell (3), obsessed blogger at www.cookiecawthon.com, and crazy-excited greeter at NewSpring Church’s Florence campus.

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from

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3 the

Christmas trees “Maybe we’re each a bit selfish, but our special tree is representative of our own individuality.”

by Jennie Simpson

We have always been a three-Christmas-tree

however, had abandoned my traditional fir in the living

in a hurry. We were anxious and eager as we awaited

family. After all, there are three of us. Each and every

room for a novel idea – a holly tree resplendent with

Saturday – the day of an annual banquet and feast. In

year, we simply must have three Christmas trees to

nature’s red berries. Oh, how the spaces between

view of my pride, we decided to invite everyone by

herald the Simpson’s Christmas season. Maybe we’re

each branch gave the impression of carved niches for

our house for dessert as an end to a most festive

each a bit selfish, but our special tree is representative

each treasured object. I nestled the antique decora-

party. The guests ooohed and aaahed over my origi-

of our own individuality.

tions close to the lights and trembled at the contrast

nal tree and I felt surely that it must be the most beau-

of nature and my beautiful possessions.

tiful tree of all. Our guests were mingling and con-

My son has his tree in the den, close to

where we habitate during our waking hours at home.

We ran back and forth and shouted encour-

versing and admiring as I stole a glance at my holly

He proudly points out his handmade ornaments and

agement. We were almost finished and my son was

tree. Then, in horrified slow motion, I saw it begin to

wants to recount the stories of how and when they

hanging his “Snoopy” ornament with pride. We left

teeter and totter and lean. Before my very eyes, it

were created. His eyes reflect the sparkle of colored

him in the den to play with his creation – for we all

succumbed and fell to the floor. Oh, what an embar-

lights as he sits close to the tree and he sighs when we

know that icicles must be thrown with exact pitch and

rassment!

extinguish the illumination for the night.

abandon.

The water was mopped and sopped. The

My tree reigns in the living room, set aside as

In the living room, my husband and I were

floor and the rug had to be saved! I remember the

a regal, elegant monarch to be admired and not

tying in a limb of the holly (because it must be perfect)

hurry and scurry of the guests as they retrieved the

touched or damaged. Only I stand in wonder and

when we heard a loud crash! We rushed to the den

priceless ornaments. The nightmare was resolved; the

appreciate its antique ornaments and its miniature

amid screams and wails. There, we found him – face-

tree was up-righted and restored to its throne in the

clear lights.

down underneath the nine-foot cedar. He was fright-

corner. The decorations were dried and hung back on

My husband’s tree stands in the yard, a living

ened and shaking but safe, nonetheless. Oh, what a

the branches and I was consoled.

cedar of some proportion. He only adorns it with

mess! There were shattered and bent ornaments and

Alas, in our haste, we had forgotten to tie and

large colored bulbs. He says that it’s easier to deco-

tangled masses of garland to unravel. We up-righted

anchor my tree to the ceiling with the invisible but

rate and undecorate that way. Plain and simple, it

the tree and undecorated it. Then we started from

dependable fishing line.

stands as a beacon of cordiality to all who pass by.

scratch – without much glee. We secured the giant by

What, you may ask, happened to my hus-

The year when my son was six and

anchoring it to the ceiling with fishing line. Although

band’s tree? Well, you see, the simplest and plainest

Christmas was fast approaching, we were in haste to

exhausted when finished, we were warm in the mem-

things in God’s world are the easiest to admire. My

complete our Christmas tree decorating. Outside, my

ory that our son was safe and unharmed.

husband was not prideful or as vain as we. No, the

husband’s tree was already adorned as his job is

My tree was unusual and I was so proud. I

simple outdoor cedar tree did not falter. It must have

always so easy and simple. Inside, we worked on a

must admit that I’d never had one so impressive. As

been anchored to the sky by God’s fishing line and

huge cedar in the den, my son’s nine-foot delight. I,

the days seem to fly at Christmas, the weekend came

rooted in God’s love.

Jennie Simpson is a fourth grade teacher at Cheraw Intermediate School and lives with her husband,Van, in Patrick, SC. Her son, R.L., is newly married and beginning his own Christmas traditions this year.

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Simply Custom Designs "I was completely impressed and constantly tell others about this jewel in Florence. If you haven't used this business yet, you are definitely missing out." - Perry Strickland, Perry's Creations of Hartsville

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Favorite Song: “Lay, Lady, Lay” by Bob Dylan

School:

Florence Christian School

School Activities: Volleyball, Drama

One Word that Describes My Personality:

Groovy Favorite Book: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. by Judy Blume – I know it’s a little kid’s book, but I never get tired of reading it.

Hobbies: Painting, drawing, tie-dying and watching movies

Favorite Movie: Dazed and Confused

who’s carolina that girl? smith Family: Accomplishments: My volleyball team went to the State Tournament this year and I’ve had large roles in the past two spring plays at school. If I could meet anyone – dead or alive – it would be . . . Bob Dylan (alive) because I really love his music and just the “aura” he portrays. Although, it’s hard to choose just one, I think he would be really awesome! Also, I would love to meet

Parents, Philip and Tammy Smith

Jim Morrison (dead) because I think he was a misunderstood soul and I would really love the chance to completely understand him. Saying or Quote that I Live By: “Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.” - Bob Marley. I think there are a lot of very opinionated people out there and they are really good at exercising their right of free speech; but, I think

sometimes they overlook some people who aren’t as keen on sharing their opinions so freely. I make it a point to attempt to listen to everyone who is overlooked. Dreams for the Future:

I’m not sure

which college I want to go to, but I want to have a double major in Art and Secondary Education so that I can be an art teacher.

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