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We t a k e c a n c e r p e r s o n a l l y. As the leading cause of cancer deaths in America, lung cancer is a most formidable disease. But as the region’s only accredited comprehensive cancer program, McLeod is equipped to meet the challenge. From outstanding physicians and state-of-the-art technology, to our innovative multi-disciplinary Cancer Conference Board that methodically reviews cases and recommends the best diagnosis and treatment, McLeod Cancer Center is the unequivocal choice for the expert care, support and resources you want in the ďŹ ght against lung cancer.
www.McLeodCancer.org
Glossy Page 3
10/20/08
3:07 PM
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The Art of Style
The Shops of 7 Oaks • 2001 Hoffmeyer Road Florence, SC • 843.656.0399 www.heywardandhanna.com
Glossy Page 4
10/20/08
3:10 PM
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10/23/08
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deck the
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6
10/22/08
5:02 PM
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10/21/08
11:58 AM
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Live Life Outdoors Again With Help From Doctors who Care Stephen A. Imbeau, M.D., FACP, FAAAAI, FACAAI
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10/23/08
2:55 PM
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“
I’ve lost 69 POUNDS!
”
Teresa Adams tells her story. THEIR STORY... My failing health and depleted energy level motivated me to make the decision to start a weight-loss program. Furthermore, I was fighting depression and I understood that my physical health and weight made the struggle more difficult. God knows these things and encourages us through His word to care for our bodies. Dr. Dent was very supportive to me for many years and suggested I consult with Mrs. Jean Dickens, Bariatric Nutritionist at Florence Wellness & Weight Loss Center. My weight at the time was 219 pounds. I chose the plan that incorporates a combination of vitamins and high-protein supplements, six ounces of lean meat and real veggies daily – and a lot of water intake. Physical activity is encouraged, so I try to exercise at least twice a week. Sticking to the plan is hard because I love sweets, I love to eat and I love to cook for people. I have a lot of physical factors that can affect progress, as well, such as an underactive thyroid, genetics and a sedentary job. Undoubtedly, I have a slow metabolism and I’m getting older. I have any number of excuses to choose from. The support, encouragement and love of family and friends motivate me to keep going. Furthermore, I am inspired by prayer, God’s Word and His blessing of the physical ability to get up and move. The resources needed and Jean’s sincere understanding, encouragement and guidance also motivate me to continue this weight-loss journey. Determination and desire to lose weight is not enough. We all have a certain amount of determination, but we have weak moments. We all have desire, but wishing or wanting something doesn’t make it ours. My advice to others is that you have to make a conscious decision as to how you want to live the life you have left, pick up the tools necessary (prayer, support, a plan) and use them – one day at a time. You will fall occasionally – but falling is not failing. At my present weight of 150 pounds (a total loss of 69 pounds), I feel before better, I look neater and I’m an example of living well.
Florence Wellness & Weight-loss Center BARIATRIC NUTRITIONIST, JEAN DICKENS & BARIATRIC ASSISTANT, CINDY HICKSON
under the direction of
NOW OFFERING FULL & MODIFIED FAST AS WELL AS OTHER
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10/24/08
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Celebrate the Holiday Season with a Weekend Stay in Marion Your two night stay includes two gourmet breakfasts, a Saturday evening dinner and a sight-seeing of several homes in the area, including Rosewood Manor and The Grove. This Special Offer will take place
December 12-14 & December 19-21
The Grove The Inn on Harlee www.montgomerysgroveinn.com (843) 423-5220 Denley & Ann Caughman
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(843) 423-5407 (800) 484-8620 Tom Griggs, Innkeeper
Reservations are Required. Please call to inquire about pricing and to reserve your spot.
A Happy Holiday Memory Awaits!
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10/21/08
12:00 PM
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There’s plenty to love about Pee Dee Gardens! Call Shannon Berg and inquire about our friendly assisted living today! Call today for a confidential assessment and tour. Our Assisted Living is a snapshot of the top of the line...where it feels like family and where you know your loved one will be in the best care. We feature professional staff and the best living accommodations for your family member. At Pee Dee Gardens, your loved one is in the best of hands.
3117 West Palmetto St. • Florence • 843-667-6699
www.peedeegardens.com
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10/21/08
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10/24/08
12:59 PM
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Friends In Every Issue
and
Family
14
Letter from the Editor
16
She mail
18
Wee She Claire Stuckey
22
Campus Chick Sarah E. Casper
76
Ethel Saulter
78-79
Elsa McInville
Style File
80
Yvonne Rhodes & Linda Spurling
82
The Jordan Family
25 28
Special Features
Sheroes Joni Leviner
84-85
Laura Anderson
30
She Wants to Know
86
The Infinger Family
34
She’s Closet
88
Kenyon Powers
46
Chick Lit
90
Sharon Bixler & Friends
92
The Gregg Family
52
Shop Talk Carolina Closets & More
94
Rosanne Saunders
59
The World According to Celia McLaughlin Urquhart
62
Purse Strings Michelle Bailey
70
Chicks of the Month Pee Dee Cardiology Associates
72 98
In His Own Words Keith Player, MD
26
Anna K. Pitts Picking Up Family as I Go Along
68
Allie Atkinson Through Thick and Thin Continued
32
JoAnn Doughty Friendship Lessons
102
Sandra Honaker Losing the Family Table
36
Cookie Cawthon Family Reunions, Facebook and Feedburner
110
Cindy Wall Beard Life Is Good
114 38
Melodie Griffin The Bliss of a S.I.S.
Erika Chapman One of Ten
120 43
Rebecca J. Blair Sowing the Seeds of Love
Janet R. Sims, LPC Room for One More?
132 44
Marti Miller When Families Fracture
Ada Nwankudu Time For Change
142 50
Paige Thomas Generation to Generation
Ouida K. Page, RN, LPC How to Deal with Holiday Conflict
54
Leigh Clary Abdou We Are All Family
146
Jumana A. Swindler Mother of Invention
Art & Soul by Sharman Poplava
104
The Sir-Vey
106
And She Cooks,Too!
108
Annie At Home
112
Beauty Buzz
116
There She Goes
124
What Advertisers Think SPC Credit Union
128
Wings for the Spirit by Sherry S. Page Atkinson
130
Fabulous Finds
148
Who’s That Girl? Taylor Burch
Contributing Writers
Medical Experts 66
Dr. Cory M. Smith
134
Women and Diabetes
100
Dr. Maria Perez Why Knowing Your Family’s Health History Is So Important
J. Marshall Dent, III, MD Dealing with Bladder Leakage
138
Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD When Families Fight...Children Lose
10/22/08
3:08 PM
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She
She Magazine • November 2008 • 13
M e l ia a Flowers Berry
Preferred Nursing & Home Care
Publisher/Editor
Licensed Nurses & Certified Nurses Aides 24-hour Nursing Service & Hourly Service Providing home care, nursing home care, & retirement home care Live-in service at a competitive rate Providing medical & non-medical assistance to patients with fractures, ordered bedrest, post operative care, terminal cancer, orthodepics, strokes, congestive heart failure, Alzheimer’s & Dementia
editor@shemagazine.com
Tuesday Taylor General Manager Advertising & Graphic Design
we are
13
tuesday@shemagazine.com
Dresden Tucker Graphic Design dresden@shemagazine.com
Leigh Clary Abdou Production Manager
All staff are CPR certified & insured with criminal background checks.
Advertising & Design leigh@shemagazine.com
Heather Turbeville
For more information, 843-659-4494 888-588-6815
Advertising Consultant heather@shemagazine.com
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ashley@shemagazine.com
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E m a i l t o : e d i t o r @shemagazine.com Mail to: 609 North Main Street • Marion, SC 29571 Call us: 843.423.2393 office line • 843.423.9837 fax line
take us home For a copy to be placed in your mailbox, send a check or money order for $32 to the above address for a year's subscription.
...the very best in eye glasses & contact lens!
She Magazine is published monthly and distributed at over 500 locations throughout the Pee Dee. She Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertisement or content we deem inappropriate for the publication. Contributions are welcome and can be sent via e-mail or snail mail. Please include name, address and contact number. You will be contacted if we decide to print your submission. Content must be received by the 10th for the following month's publication. Letters to the Editor are welcome; however, they may require editing due to space limitations. The design, editorial and photo content in
publisher.
She is
She Magazine and may not be reproduced without written permission by the She Magazine is a registered trademark.
copyright of
Call us for your next appointment and receive the quality eye care that you deserve!
Show off your STYLE in a pair of our glasses!
Pee Dee Optical Across from the McLeod Medical Regional Center Located in the Stokes Regional Eye Center Building 602 E Cheves St • Florence
665.4343 or 1.800.868.7613 www.stokeseye.com
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November 2008:
R
Friends & Family
ecently, my cousin on my daddy’s side came to visit, bringing a large envelope filled with priceless jewels collected over the past century from my ancestors. I knew he had access to these jewels and asked him during an earlier telephone conversation to share them with me. Cousin Tom, a son of my daddy’s older sister, Natalie, agreed to do so; however, I really didn’t expect him to turn the treasures over so quickly. When my mother called to say she had them at her house, I literally dropped everything, jumped in my car and drove straight to her home. Once there, I took the envelope and slowly removed the contents. My heart raced with excitement as my eyes fell upon the vintage photographs of my family whom I had never before seen. My daddy’s mother and father, Bessie and Henry Flowers (or Momma and Papa as he called them), sat in rocking chairs, looking back at me for the first time. They both died years before I was born and other than one picture of my grandmother as a little girl, my daddy had never been able to produce more pictures of them. For so many years, I longed to see my grandparents’ faces so that I could look for traces of them in myself and in my children. I knew I had my daddy’s eyes, but did they pass on any other traits? My daddy has always told me how sweet and kind his mother was and as I looked into her eyes, captured in time so long ago, I saw that sweetness – the same tenderness that peers through the eyes of my daddy and looks back at me through the eyes of my son, Joshua. I once asked my daddy if he thought my grandmother would like me when I meet her in Heaven. “She would have to love you, Darling, and those eyes; when she sees your eyes,” he said. Looking at her picture, I knew why he said that. The same eyes that I saw in my grandmother stare back at me from my mirror. At home that night, I continued to look at the pictures – my daddy and his brothers, all young and in uniforms serving our country in the 1940’s; my daddy and three of his eight siblings dressed in their Sunday best, smiling for a photo-
Pictured above: My grandparents, Bessie and Henry Flowers, taken in 1954 and left: My daddy, David Flowers, while serving in the Marine Corp during WWII between 1944-45.
graph that was paid for with two chickens. Great uncles and even great, great, great grandparents – my family tree came to life right in front of my eyes. As my mind began to float back in time – back in history to lifetimes before I was born – the old, worn black and white photos came alive in vivid, beautiful colors. The older I get, the more I fall in love with the gift of family. Is there anything else in this great big world of more importance? No, I say. Absolutely nothing is more important than family and, of course, friends. I have been abundantly blessed with both. My cup runneth over with the sweetest, most loving parents God could have given a little girl. I have incredible children, who will one day (in the not-so-near-future, please), give me grandchildren. I have sisters and brothers and nieces and nephews. I have more friends than I deserve and through this magazine, I make more every single day. “I am blessed, I am blessed; from when I rise up in the morning, till I lay my head to rest,” I sing to myself as I write this letter. From “Special Features” this month, I have chosen ten very special “FRIENDS & FAMILY” stories that will warm your heart. Knowing that the subject of family and friends isn’t always wrapped in sunshine and tied with bliss, I asked our relationship professionals to address the problem areas that affect most every family. Read “When Families Fight . . . Children Lose” by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD, and “How to Deal with Holiday Conflict” by Ouida Page, RN, LPC. In thinking about the family this month, I realized that as Editor, I have been somewhat neglectful in representing a very important part of our readership – the stay-at-home mom. From time-to-time, we have stories that involve a stay-at-home mom, but she is not seen in a regular feature like we have for women who work outside the home in “WOMEN AT WORK.” Annie Collins to the rescue! As a stay-at-home mom herself, Annie will use her degree in psychology and her real-life experiences as a stay-at-home mother of two little girls to be the voice for all “at-homers.” Please let us know what you think about this new feature and if you would like to share your life at home, write to Annie. She will love to have you as a guest in “ANNIE AT HOME.” As the November issue goes to press, I am already getting excited about Thanksgiving being just a few weeks away. I love Thanksgiving – the cooking and baking and sharing the meal with my family. Just today, as I passed by my shiny, cranberry-red KitchenAid mixer, I gave her a pat as if to say,“Rest up, girl; we’ve got a lot of work ahead.” (If you have been reading my letters a while, you may remember I bought that mixer about two years ago and we’ve been inseparable since. Tonight, I ordered the slicer/shredder attachment and I suspect we’ll become just as close.) My daddy says my grandmother was a master cook. She canned and dried fruits and vegetables and prepared everything from scratch. I wonder what she would think of me and my newfangled mixer. More importantly, I wonder what she would think of me as a mother, daughter, wife and friend. I wish I could have known her. For now, I will just have to settle for a picture in a frame until the day I meet her in Heaven. I hope my daddy is right; I hope she will like me. Have a blessed Thanksgiving with your friends and family. Enjoy this issue . . . it’s a woman thing!
from the editor
Melia Flowers Berry
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 15
•Fried Chicken •Pita Burgers •Greek Speciality Items •Speciality Sandwiches •Salads •Soups •Seafood Dinners
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16
10/27/08
9:18 AM
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She mail
At Bloomsbury Inn in Camden, SC, we keep She Magazine readily available for our guests to read. This past weekend, two couples were relaxing on the front verandah and as I passed, they asked, “Will you take our picture with She Magazine?” I said yes and then I asked why. They referred me to “There She Goes” and said they hope they make the feature. Personally, I like most everything about She Magazine. I love the story and feature items; I always find interesting reading materials between the covers. I also spend a fair amount of time pursuing your advertisements as I like to look at new opportunities/products in the area. There is one thing that I wish was easier. Living in Camden, I have to travel to Florence to pick up a copy of She. Granted, I’m in Florence about once a month, but I sure wish She was distributed to Camden!
Dear She,
First, I love She Magazine! Second, I need your help. I copied a recipe out of the Aug issue and I can’t find one of ust the ingredients. The recipe is for “Coconut on a Cloud by Nancy Langston, RN. I Cake” cannot find coconut milk in our stores. I’d like to know uses some type of substitute if she . Debra Gleaton, Summerton Note from the Editor : Dear Debra, You are one of many women who have contacted me abo ut Nancy Langston’s “Cocon a Cloud Cake” recipe. Som ut on e wanted to know where to find coconut milk and others wanted to know at what poi nt to add the cherries. In the letter below, Nancy solv es the mystery. Happy Bak ing! Melia Berry Dear She and She Readers, You can find coconut milk abo ut any place. It may be in the section that you find alco holic drink mixers or in the oriental food section. I have found that the cheaper coc milk is just as good as the exp onut ensive brand. The cherries go on last – on the ver y top. I cut the cherrie place them on the top afte s in half and just r I put the coconut on. If you garnish with nuts, do not put them on until you get cake. The nuts will become ready to serve the mushy and soft and I think that takes away from the cake because I like my pecans to be crunchy. I also had a lady call the hos pital a few weeks ago about the cake. She made the cake two times. I was amazed that someon e would trust my cake enough to make it without first trying it themselves! It is so easy – and so delicio us!
Katherine Brown The Bloomsbury Inn Camden, SC
Nancy Langston, Author of “Co on a Cloud Cake” Recipe, conut August 2008
I am a huge, huge fan of She Magazine! I love reading about real, everyday people. Most of the time, I even know some of them. Darlene M. Rogers, Florence
I love She Magazine! It is always filled with such informative and inspirational pieces. Keep up the good work!
We love She Magazine! Everyone throughout our office from the patients to the staff at McLeod OB/GYN Associates reads it every day. Charlene Howard, CMA Florence, SC
Andrea L. Hampton, Ed.D., Chesterfield, SC
We’d like to hear from you! Send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com or mail us at 609 N. Main St. Marion, SC 29571
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10/21/08
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 17
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10/27/08
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Claire
Claire Stuckey is nine-years-old and in the fourth grade at Johnsonville Elementary School in Johnsonville. Her parents are Jonz and Janet Stuckey. She has two brothers, Jack and Sam. Her grandparents are Mr. Roland Stuckey of Bennettsville, Mr. and Mrs. Dean (Irma) Gause of Florence, Mrs. Glenda Skipper of Andrews and the late Mr. John Skipper, Jr. Her great-grandmother is Mrs. Cleora Thompson of Hemingway. A very special child, Claire was born on Christmas morning. She is kind, generous, thoughtful, and helpful. She enjoys skiing at the river, reading, spending time with family and friends and playing with her pets. With three dogs, three cats, two birds and lots of fish, Claire is the biggest animal lover I know. She especially loves dogs, horses and cats. When she grows up, Claire would like to be a veterinarian. On June 5th, Claire was given a special award at the Johnsonville Elementary School Awards Ceremony. Mrs. Dayne Coker, J.E.S. Principal, called Claire to the front of the gym to present her with a special gift to honor her exceptional character. Before Mrs. Coker presented Claire with the gift, she explained to the students, parents and faculty that “in a me, me, me society, Claire gave, gave, gave.” Just one week prior to the awards ceremony, Claire touched the hearts of many with her kind and generous nature. The school purchased and accepted donations for many prizes to be awarded to third and fourth grade students taking PACT. The students had the opportunity to earn a “key to success” by having perfect attendance, good behavior and by putting forth their best effort on the SC standardized test. Third grade students were called to the cafeteria and the “keys” with their names on them were drawn for prizes. Claire’s name was chosen to win one of the grand prizes – a brand new girl’s bicycle! Claire and her teacher and classmates could hardly contain their excitement. Soon after the event, Claire asked her teacher, Mrs. Mirandi Squires, if she could walk down the hall and speak to her mom. (Claire’s mom is a second grade teacher.) Claire told her mom that she really did not need a bicycle and she would like to give it to someone who did need one. She also said she knew who she wanted to receive the bike. Earlier in the cafeteria, Claire overheard a child in her class wishing she could win the bike because she did not have one and had never learned to ride. Claire’s mom told her that was a great idea and to let her teacher know what she would like to do. Of course, Mrs. M. Squires and Mrs. Nancy Owens (J.E.S. Secretary and PACT Prize Organizer) thought it was a wonderful idea. Claire told the child what she wanted to do and the child was so excited she started to cry and jump up and down with joy. In a thank-you note to Claire, she wrote, “Thank you so much for the bicycle. I really am going to enjoy riding it all summer long. Your kindness means so much to me. No one has ever been that kind to me. Hope you have a good summer. Thank you again for your kindness.” Many students, teachers and parents were deeply moved by Claire’s generosity and kindness. What makes this even more special is that Claire really did not want any recognition. Her simple response to all the attention was, “Well, Mom, if more people would be kind to others, everyone could have a better life.”
This month’s “Wee She” was submitted by Claire’s mother, Janet Stuckey.
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10/22/08
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 19
Come join Unlimited Travel on two Exciting Adventures
Don’t miss our
Annual Pecan Pie Sale
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Join us for an exciting 8-night escorted Alaska Adventure!
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20-21 Page 1
Board Certified Edward O'Dell, M.D. - FACOG Medical Director
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Enjoy free skin analysis and makeovers, as time permits. 20-21 Page 2
Campus Chick by Heather Frick
As we all know, women are the true leaders of not only the
home and office, but also the country. One young woman, Sarah E. Casper, proves it.
Currently attending the United States Military Academy at West
Point, she graduated from South Carolina Governor’s School for Science
and Mathematics in 2005 and was accepted into West Point in February before graduating Governor’s School. She decided to accept the chal-
lenge West Point had to offer, unsure of how she would survive Beast (the basic training you do before going into the academic year). That
name alone – Beast – would scare most off! Sarah was successful in basic training and began her classes shortly after.
She will graduate in May of 2009 with a major in Psychology
focusing on Environmental Engineering. She plans to attend graduate school, but she has a commitment of five years and three reserves in the army.
“Usually, the army offers officers graduate school five to seven
years in,” she says.
Sarah hopes to be an Army Psychologist at Walter Reed Army
Hospital to help soldiers cope with PTSD and readjusting to everyday after deployment.
Life at the academy supplies her with a very hectic schedule.
Sarah begins her day with meetings at 0530. Then, she has breakfast for-
mation at 0645 and classes begin at 0730. She has class until 1600 and
company athletics (where you pick a sport and play other companies)
until 1830. She then attends the evening study period from 1930-2230. Lights are out at 2330. Somewhere in between, she tries to pick up games of soccer with classmates and travel to NYC for the weekend.
“On rough days, I like to run by Trophy Point to remind me
where I am and what I am striving for,” Sarah says. Trophy Point is a bat-
tle monument overlooking the Hudson River and Sarah says it has a breathtaking view.
Through this journey, Sarah has learned to change her views on
events or tasks that we perceive as being stressful. She knows now that
there is nothing she really needs to be getting stressed about and if something needs to be accomplished, she just accepts it and does it, emphasizing, “It's easier to just skip the process of stressing and doubting whether or not you can handle it.”
Sarah and her parents, Kevin and Barbara, and sisters Jessica and Macaira live in Florence, SC.
Sarah E. Casper
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 23
Get your Legs ready for Christmas Parties, Spring, and even Summer! Treat those unsightly Varicose and Spider Veins •Endovenous Laser Ablation (EVLT) •Sclerotherapy •Ultrasound Guided Medical Sclerotherapy
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Mention this ad & receive 10% off your first treatment during the month of November.
Board Certified Mary Beth Lewis, MD Interveinial Radiology & Vascular Specialist Florence Radiological Associates
1273 Celebration Boulevard • Florence • 843.669.2220 www.genesiscosmeticlasercenter.com
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CYNTHIA ladies fine apparel and shoes
Shops of 7 Oaks • Hoffmeyer Road • Florence Mon-Sat 10-6 • 843.665.7669 (apparel) • 843.661.7474 (shoes)
10/27/08
11:02 AM
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Purple Passion
...it’s must-have fashion!
photos both pages by Collin M. Smith
25
CYNTHIA Fall 2008 Collections: 525 Made in America • AG • AKA Woman • Autumn Cashmere • Alice & Trixie • BCBG • Citizens of Humanity Cynthia Steffe • David Meister • Hale Bob • Jenny Han • Joe's • Johnny Was • Kay Unger • Language • Lilly Pulitzer • Michael Michael Kors • Milly • Miss Me Nanette Lepore • Nicole Miller • Premise • Robert Rodriguez • Susanna Monaco • Three Dots • Trina Turk • Vince • White & Warren and more! CYNTHIA SHOES: Cole Haan • Donald Pliner • Frye • Ginger Goff • Jeffrey Campbell • Naughty Monkey • Poetic License • Sam Edelman • Sofft • Stuart Weitzman Vaneli and more! FEATURING: Kooba Handbags • Hobo Handbags
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Pickingup FAMILY as I Go Along... by Anna Pitts
T
Through the years, I have discovered that while I am rather independent, there are limitations to my ability to function at full capacity when I feel alone. As a social person, I would much rather be involved with some sort of group where I share common threads with the others present. When I’m faced with any new or unfamiliar situation, I immediately search out those persons who I think I would like to get to know and immediately begin doing just that. Someone psychologically savvy would probably categorize it as a type of subconscious survivor tactic. I noticed this about myself early on and I’m continuing to see the pattern as I attend graduate classes through the distance education program at USC. Please don’t misunderstand me; I do love to meet new people. It’s fun to finally match a face with names of classmates I’ve been chatting back and forth with on projects. However, each time I arrive on campus for an onsite class, I feel like a freshman again – lost on the first day of school. I’m not embarrassed by the fact that I have to muster up a little courage before I walk into that lecture hall full of people and quickly scan the room for someone to sit beside. Luckily, I most always find someone right away and, usually, I’ve been pretty good at picking people out. In fact, some of my most cherished friendships have developed from instances that began just like that. Being more of an introvert, my dad has never really understood this nature of mine to always want to be involved in something. He wondered where I was off to next or asked why I was “staying on the road” just about every weekend or
weeknight. I couldn’t really explain. At the time, I just was having fun or fulfilling my responsibilities as part of an organization. Looking back, however, it was because I love being part of something; I enjoy knowing that I am part of a group, a family, an association, where everyone shares at least those ideals and goals. In high school, I was a Junior Civitan and I can still recite the creed to anyone who asks because I felt proud to say it. I enjoyed the security of knowing that wherever I was, I would “always be within reach of a fellow Civitan.” In college, I couldn’t wait to pick a sorority and I was never more proud than the day I wore my first ADPi (Alpha Delta Pi) T-Shirt and took the vows of sisterhood. Even now, I’m excited to be pursuing a career where I will be part of an entire association of school librarians, all working towards the same standards and goals. Recently, one of my grandmother’s sisters passed away. Aunt Thelma was ninety-two and suffered for many years from Alzheimer’s. I hadn’t seen her in a very long time when I walked into the funeral home that night and I was quite shocked at just how much she looked like my granny. At first, it upset me as memories of Granny’s death only a year ago flooded back. But, throughout the night, I was most comforted by a comment someone made to me about how much I looked like “the Brown side, especially Gladys.” I belonged there. I was part of this group, this family and that comment reminded me of how proud I am to be associated with this family. I’ve spent as much time as anyone trying
to figure out who I am. There were many summers of soul searching and years of trying new things, learning about myself and getting to know what I really wanted in life. I’m pretty positive that I found out, along with coming to the realization that we never stop discovering new things about ourselves. I think life’s situations will continue to teach us lessons about how much we can bear, how much we can laugh and when to say when. But, what I know more than anything is that I like being a part of a whole. That is why I pick up little families everywhere I go. I am part of a church family, a family of Civitans, a family of ADPis, a Timrod Elementary School family, FMU and BCM family. Now, I’m part of the Florence County Library family. The friends I’ve made along and along have been there with me and for me. They’ve gotten me through a whole slew of funny, awkward and difficult times. I’m thankful to be able to say that I have such a large network of people I love and care about. Nonetheless, there is an inner circle to that network. There are those select few that have been there the longest, have stayed the closest – those that I could never replace or neglect for long. While I share bits and pieces of myself with the network, my true family knows me for who I was and who I am. They can see through all that I may try to hide and I have no need to be ashamed. Affiliations are important, but I’m most proud when I am daughter, granddaughter, girlfriend, niece, sister, cousin, (aunt) Nonnie, friend. That’s when I not only belong, I am necessary to complete the whole.
Anna Pitts lives in Florence where she works at the Drs. Bruce and Lee Foundation Library doing children’s story times. She is vigorously pursuing her Master’s Degree in Library Science at USC. Go Gamecocks!
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 27
Give your loved one the care he deserves. Products
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24 Hour Emergency Service Home Medical Equipment • Locally-owned & Operated Sales • Rentals • Repairs
906 E. Palmetto St. • Florence 843-665-2066 • 1-877-800-1112
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Sheroes
Palmetto Animal Rescue By Beverly Kelly
“A wise man regards the life of his animals” - (Proverbs 12:10). A precious one-and-a-half-year-old little girl was in need of a new someone or a new family to love and take care of her. That’s when that little girl, Layla, a beautiful red Cocker Spaniel, was introduced to Joni Leviner with Palmetto Animal Rescue in Dillon. Palmetto Animal Rescue (PAR) came to be when Joni and other concerned citizens realized there was no active animal rescue or Humane Society in their community. A meeting was organized to see how much support and interest there was in setting up a rescue organization. Through many trials and errors, Palmetto Animal Rescue was organized in September of 2007. Joni is Active President of the Rescue. Presently, three pets are ready for adoption – Layla (Cocker Spaniel), Ruby (Bull-Dog Mix) and Trixie (Beagle-Mix Puppy). PAR has had seven animals ready at one time for adoption. In addition to the three dogs available for adoption, Joni has four other “babies” (as she affectionately refers to her pets) – Luke (Cocker Spaniel), Boo and Reese (Cocker Spaniel Rescues) and Lance (Siamese-Mix Cat Rescue). When she talks about her babies, including the dogs that are available for adoption, you can hear love and compassion resonating in her voice. Animals are received at the Rescue through abandonment, owner surrender and when they are pulled from shelters and pounds. Abandonment is when a pet is just put out. It is discarded like trash to fend for itself. Owner surrender is when the Rescue accepts a voluntarily-surrendered animal only after the present owner has made all efforts possible to find the pet a home. Finally, adoptable dogs and cats are rescued from shelters and pounds when possible to save them from being euthanized. (It is important to note, however, that due to the Rescue’s limited physical and financial resources, each rescue is determined on a case-by-case basis. It is emphasized that all efforts – including contacting the proper authorities, newspaper ads, notices in veterinarian offices, etc. – should be made by accountable pet owners and concerned and compassionate citizens in helping to find responsible and loving homes for animals in need.) Joni learns about animals in need from veterinary offices, personal contacts, other rescues and pounds and shelters. If a pet is accepted at the Rescue, “We try to find out as much as possible about the animal’s health and temperament,” she says. “All animals are vaccinated, spayed/neutered, physically examined by a veterinarian and given heartworm treatment if necessary. They are groomed and started on heartworm, flea and tick preventative. When it is decided
that an animal is ready, if a foster home is available, the pet will go there. At that point, it is also posted on Petfinder.com.” Joni says that foster homes are one of the Rescue’s biggest needs at this point, Joni and Layla emphasizing, “The more foster homes we have, the more animals can be saved.” The average length of stay in a foster home is two to three months, depending on the medical Once adopted and the pet is going to the needs of the pet. Foster homes are so very important responsible and loving home it deserves, Joni is happy because the pets become a part of a family and, for and somewhat sad at the same time. Oftentimes, it has most, it is the first time they have had a family to love become part of her family and even though she knows and care for them. that when she adopts one out (giving her the opporThe process of fostering an animal is some- tunity to help another), she still feels like a member of times misunderstood. If you foster a dog or cat from her family is gone. When one of her “babies” goes to PAR, the only required financial obligation is to pro- live with its new family, she makes sure that each one vide the animal’s food. Initially, even a large amount of has a “Welcome Home” basket, which usually includes food is supplied. The Rescue is responsible for all a new food bowl, collar, leash, some treats and goodies major medical needs and treatment and regular – all wrapped up with a lot of love and good wishes grooming. Of course, a foster parent can provide any- from Joni. thing they wish to like treats or toys; however, other The Rescue is operated by volunteers who than food and water, the most important things a fos- foster from their homes (not a facility) and is fundter home can give an animal are compassion, responsi- ed solely through donations (which include the nonbility, love and affection. These are simple things that refundable adoption fees which are typically between many animals have never received in their lives. $50.00 and $150.00). T-Shirts and rescue magnets are Fostering an animal can be a very rewarding experi- sold and fundraising events are held to provide a little ence for so many reasons – the least of which is the extra financial support for the Rescue. However, unconditional love from a precious dog or cat. because of her passion and compassion for animals, An animal is put up for adoption when the Joni takes full responsibility for much of the financial Rescue deems it to be completely medically ready needs. She provides most of the food, treats, groom(which is most important); however, the animal’s tem- ing supplies for in-between regular grooming appointperament is a deciding factor, as well. An adoption ments, toys, crates, emergency care – and the list goes application is completed and if the applicant is consid- on. She does this because she loves and cares for the ered a good match to the dog or cat, then veterinari- animals; their wellbeing and happiness are most imporan and personal reference checks are thoroughly tant to her. checked. In addition, a home visit may be required Joni’s plea to all who love animals,“Save a life; before the adoption is final. If the home visit and all foster or adopt a pet today . . . and help those who references check out with favorable responses, the can’t speak for themselves.” potential adopter must sign a contract with specific stipulaAnyone wishing to make a donation should send it to tions about how the dog or cat will be cared for. “This is to Palmetto Animal Rescue, Post Office Box 686, Dillon, SC 29536. make sure that an animal is going to be part of a family and If you would like more information about the Rescue or if you are not just a possession,” Joni explains. She makes every pos- interested in being a foster parent, send an e-mail to mustlovesible effort to determine the best situation and best match dogs5@att.net. for an animal and a person or family. Palmetto Animal Rescue’s main objective is to nurture and restore pets to Beverly Kelly works with She Magazine as a Freelance Proofreader and Assistant to the Editor. She and her husband,Tony, live in Rock happy and healthy lives in loving homes. Hill, SC, with their three “children,” Zazu, Gizmo and Chloe.
Joni Leviner
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 29
The Nutcracker Ballet November 7, 8 & 9 Florence Little Theatre
Reservations begin November 2nd For Tickets, call the FLT Box Office at 843-662-3731
South Carolina Dance Theatre 843-669-3991 • www.scdancetheatre.org scdancetheatre@gmail.com
This Winter, take a walk on the wild side! Two Florence Locations to Serve You Better!
Jewelry Repair & Engraving
Magnolia Mall • David McLeod Blvd. Inside of Mall on right before JC Penny Entrance
843-665-8758 Mon-Sat: 10 am-9 pm, Sun: 1:30-6 pm
1608 Second Loop Road
843-676-2708 Mon-Fri: 10 am-6 pm, Sat: 10 am-2 pm Closed Sunday
Gift Baskets The gift everyone wants to receive! Have your family & friends smiling for months to come with delectable gift baskets filled with mouth-watering preserves and more!
McLeod Farms Market www.macspride.com 1.877.789.9252 Place your individual or corporate orders today! Do all your holiday shopping with us. We ship UPS right to your front door. Hwy 151 Between McBee and Hartsville Open Daily from 8:30 until 6:00
FINE JEWELERS SINCE 1935
2001 Hoffmeyer Road • Shops of 7 Oaks • Florence • 843.292.0150 444 North Guignard Drive • Sumter • 803.775.1209
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If your family had their own TV show, would it be a COMEDY, a DRAMA or a HORROR MOVIE?
“All three! First, it’s a drama because of all the drama kings and queens at my house. Shortly afterwards, it develops into a true horror story because of too many drama kings and queens. Then, we stop and look at the situation and laugh about how idiotic our lives are, which is the comedy.” - Scarlett Knight, Florence
“It would be a comedy simply because of my three boys. You never know what they’re going to do.”
Scarlett Knight Florence
“Between my troubled brother, long distance relatives, living with my future in-laws and the fact that I will be changing my last name to Hooker when I get married next March, I’d have to say that my family is all of the above. There are many laughs, scary moments and times you just want to pull your hair out; but, I love them all!”
Tracey Stark Florence
Danielle Hart Florence “It would be a comedy. I have three sons and they are hilarious! My oldest son, Christopher, is a freshman at FMU and he’s always so busy with school that he doesn’t have the energy to clean his room. My son, Jordan – who is ten and in the fifth grade – says he has so much homework that he falls asleep during science class. My youngest son, Isaiah, always has an excuse for why he forgets his reading book everyday.”
Donna Johnson Florence
Jordan Holt Florence “I think my family’s TV show would be a drama because most of my family members worry more about other people than they worry about themselves. They are rarely happy and need help. Can you help us?”
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 31
Carolina Travel & Tours
The Earring Lady Dichroic Glass Jewelry by Barbara Mellen • Handcrafted in Florence from American materials, Barbara Mellen’s dichroic glass earrings will be treasured by the friends you give them to • Pendants by Rena Klingenberg • Collectable glass animals from Russia
Atlantic City Casino UPCOMING EVENTS • November 15 & 16 Atlantic City Red Eye Casino Trip, leaving Nov. 14 @ 10pm, returning Nov. 16 @ 11am. $100pp, $30 free token/or buffet. •Summer Cruise-June, 2009, Carnival Canada Cruise from NY Inside-$550pp, OV-$615pp, Bal.$685pp Sunday-Thursday, June 7-11,2009. Roundtrip Motor coach transportation included Deposit of $100 pp due by Nov. 3rd.
843-382-9293 1776 Cedar Swamp Rd. Kingstree, SC 29556
2717 Second Loop Road • Florence (Look for the Lavender House)
Monday- Saturday 10:00-6:00 843-317-1732
Extra cash comes in hand any time of year, but during the holiday season, it’s more important than ever. That’s why Health Facilities FCU is offering skip-a-payment! This November or December, instead of making your usual loan payment, pay just $25 and defer your loan payment!* You’ll keep the rest of your money, giving you a little extra room in your budget.
*Must fill out skip a-pay form. Must be current on loan payments and have had no skip-a-pays in the past 12 months. Loan must have been open at least six months and balance must be less than $15,000 or you will need to pay the interest due. If you have to pay interest, fee is only $10 instead of $25. No real estate loans. Normal interest accrues.
843-669-4041
hffcu.com
With two locations to serve you better:
501 S. Irby St. • Florence Marion County Medical Complex Hwy 76 • Tuesday’s Only
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Friendship
Lessons by JoAnn Doughty
O
ver the years, I have come to realize that almost all friendships contain the same elements. Good friends are usually individuals who share a mutual passion for something. They accept each other – even with their little quirks and idiosyncrasies. Good friends also help each other in so many ways. A good friend can be so honest with you. She can tell you that the dress you have on is way too tight. Only someone who truly loves you and cares about you will dare to be that honest. Good friends will always defend you from any perceived wrong. Several years ago, I had two fifth-grade boys in my class. Both of them were sweet and very well behaved. One of the boys was extremely overweight and, unfortunately, he was teased a lot. One particular day, the students were at recess when the friend of the overweight boy came back to the classroom and he was very upset. He told me that the adult in charge of recess had made fun of his friend. She called him fat and other hurtful names. He was outraged that an adult could be so mean. He came to me, defending his friend and wanting justice. Those boys are now in high school and still good friends. I learned a lot from a friend I grew up with. Karen and I have been friends since September 1967 when her family moved across the street from mine. We played jump rope, Barbie and Monopoly together. We shared childhood fun, teenage trauma and, now, we share middle-age worries. Karen still lives in the town we grew up in, which is 650 miles from Hartsville. We talk on the phone and e-mail often. Although I have many amazing friends, one very special person is a constant source of encouragement and comfort to me. Over the years, Kathi and I have shared so much and truly deepened our friendship. She is always the first person I go to when I have a deep sadness or a bountiful joy to share. She gives me wise advice, shares in my excitement or just sits quietly while I cry on her shoulder. She is the first person I share things with because I know she will listen, she will not judge me or try to tell me what to do and she definitely keeps a confidence – all invaluable traits to have in a treasured friend. Kathi and I actually interviewed for the same teaching position seventeen years ago. I got the job and she got a position at another school. However, that interview is not when we met. We actually met a few months later at a meeting for special-needs teachers after we started teaching in our new positions. It wasn’t until several months later that we put the connection together that we had applied and interviewed for the same teaching position earlier. Eventually, we were at the same school and became fast friends. Kathi taught
the class for students with multiple disabilities and I taught the class for students with moderate mental disabilities. We quickly learned that we shared the same philosophies of teaching and views on students with disabilities. It didn’t take us long to create exciting and challenging activities for our students. Over the years, we have worked together on so many things. One project in which we spent a lot of time and energy on was writing a grant so that our special students could experience water therapy at the YMCA. Even though the grant was never funded, we have continued to be advocates for our students and their needs. Both of us believe that it is a calling to be a teacher; however, it is a very special calling to be a teacher of students with special needs. Kathi and I have dedicated our teaching careers to students with special needs. Over the years, we have strived to educate people about the challenges and abilities that are part of our students’ lives, presenting informational talks to civic groups, church groups and the general education classes at the schools where we have taught. Kathi and I love teaching and we love our students. We get so close to them and we have lost a few due to the serious illnesses that some of them suffer from. It is a devastating loss to lose a child that you have worked with, nurtured and loved. We are blessed to have each other for support. Our friendship is so strong because we do have so much in common – especially our love of children and teaching. Furthermore, she is the mother of three remarkable sons and I am also the mother of three remarkable sons. My sons are just a few years younger than hers. We are both very creative but in different ways. She handcrafts beautiful, exquisite jewelry and scarves. I design and sew handmade pillows, spreads, costumes and pocketbooks. Right now, the biggest challenge to our relationship is the fact that we are both so busy and, presently, we teach at different schools. Although we chat on the phone frequently, we like to get together and have a real gab session to get caught up on everything. We actually have to schedule times to get together. My childhood friend, Karen, taught me about what a friend is really supposed to be – a person who supports and encourages you and someone you can trust with every joy and sorrow. During the past several years, I have been through a lot and my friend, Kathi, is always there, holding my hand, drying a tear or shouting a hooray. I believe the world would be a better place if everyone had dedicated, faithful, loving friends like Karen and Kathi.
JoAnn Doughty lives in Hartsville with her three sons. She is the Academic Coach at Hartsville High School, where she teaches students with learning disabilities. Creating and sewing keeps her busy.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 33
Custom Closets
Is your Family Room
Ready for the family?
World of Color
design center
fabric • wallpaper • custom sewing • consultations Mon-Fri 8:30-5:30 • 843.669.9000 • 1.877.673.9575 817-B South Cashua Dr. • Florence
•Visit our Showroom M-F 10-5 •Saturday by Appointment •Financing Available
817 D. South Cashua Dr. • Florence • Next to World of Color
843-667-3626 Mention this ad and receive 20% off all accessories
Have Your Best Holiday! After
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843-667-1120 F r e e Consultation. Mon-Fri 8:00-6:30
*Special based on a full service 16 week Physicians Fast program. Required nutritional supplements & medical fees, if any, at regular low prices. Results may vary. An independent physician is in the Center a minimum of one evening a week. 2008 Physicians WEIGHT LOSS centers of America, Inc®. Akron, OH 44333. All Rights Reserved. A Health Management Group TM company.
"Over the past several years I gained a lot of weight and have tried on my own to lose it with no success. Mary, a friend of mine, told me about Physicians WEIGHT LOSS Centers and after watching her lose weight week after week, I decided to give it a try. This diet has taught me to eat healthier food and I feel much better physically and mentally. I also enjoy shopping again! I want to thank my family for their support during my junk food withdrawal. I also want to thank Mary, the staff of Physicians WEIGHT LOSS Centers: Dale, Debbie, and Amanda. They have been kind, patient, and encouraging every step of the way." -Lorraine Musso Florence, SC
Before
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B
A
D
C
E
A Leopard Print Trench Coat YOUNG WORLD, DILLON
B Red Puff Sleeve Jacket by Joy Joy THE BLUE CURTAIN, HARTSVILLE
C Brown Scoop Neck Jacket LULU’S, HARTSVILLE
Jackets Required
D Brown Leather Bomber Jacket by DB Sport FLOSSIE MAE’S, HARTSVILLE
E Milly 3/4 Sleeve Stand Collar Coat HEYWARD & HANNA, FLORENCE
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 35
Photography Originals
Have your child’s picture taken with Santa Clause! He’s bringing Mrs. Clause, too!
by DAVID MARCUM Our Christmas 2008 dates: Merle Norman Studio (Pitty Pats) 62 Public Square • Darlington Saturday, Nov. 1st, from 10am-3pm, By appointment, 843.395.2252
Badcock Home Furnishings 216 Radford Blvd • Dillon 843.841.0900 Thursday, December 4th, 3pm-6pm
Badcock Home Furnishings 539-A South Mill Street • Manning 803.433.8771 Thursday, Nov. 6th, 3pm-7pm
Palmetto Gifts 910 Pamplico Hwy Pamplico, SC 843.493.0773 Saturday, Dec. 6th, 10am-4pm
Merle Norman Studio 147 Market Street • Cheraw 843.537.5391 Saturday, Nov. 8th, 11am-5pm By appointment call store, walk in's welcome
843-389-9266 Packages are made from the best pose available. Our work is Copyrighted. No refunds! We accept Cash, Check, Visa and Master Card.
Cottontails Children's Boutique 1210 S Cashua Dr • Florence 843.661.7108 ***By appointment only, call studio 843.389.9266*** Thursday, Nov. 13th, 2pm-6pm Friday, Nov. 14th, 2pm-6pm Saturday, Nov. 15th, 10am-4pm Thursday, Nov. 20th, 2pm-6pm Friday, Nov. 21st, 2pm-6pm Saturday, Nov. 22nd, 10am-4pm
Badcock Home Furnishings 225 W McIntyre St • Mullins 843.464.1800 Thursday, Dec. 11th, 3pm-6pm
Photography Originals Studio 1257 Anderson Bridge Rd • Scranton 843.389.9266 Saturday, Dec. 13th, 11am-5pm ***Santa in his Sleigh*** Outdoor Portraits with Santa. Limited spaces available for appointment now!
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Family Reunions,
and
Feedburner by Cookie Cawthon Now, I am under the impression that the days of family reunions with Grandma Beulah’s fried chicken and Aunt Maxine’s cheek squeezing may be drawing to a close. Not because we don’t so cherish those hours spent reminiscing about the days when we were knee high to a grasshopper but because of distance and time constraints. Fortunately, this is not really the case with my family yet, but more and more I have friends who live great distances from their families. As fewer and fewer Sally Seniors return to their Mayberry after college and as couples accept life as transients in the pursuit of career aspirations, it seems that the cohesion of the extended family is compromised. People just get the heck out of Dodge – headed for their own wide open spaces – leaving the ole’ home place and Cousin Clementine in the dust. For the most part, families aren’t building the dream home on the hill with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins galore. I’m not sure why they’re not (pursed grin accompanied by raised eyebrow), but they’re not. I am absolutely fascinated by some interesting concepts that have arisen to fill in some of those familial gaps. In the absence of dinner at Momma’s house every Thursday night, people surround themselves with their peeps. This is certainly not a new idea, but I would argue that meaningful friendships for adults have taken on greater significance as family is less of an everyday presence. That’s not to say that family is at all less important; it’s just an observation that people have greater need for friends when their family isn’t nearby. Can you say Bunco groups, supper clubs, MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers), playgroups, and home groups? Although I am super blessed to have an aunt living in my very neighborhood, a cousin and his family down the road, and my mom only about thirty-five minutes away, I personally know the value of a home group. Chris and I were part of one for two years; we met every Monday night. We’d all straggle in after school and work and T-ball and dance; we’d grab a bite to eat, send the cherubs upstairs with two sitters, and we would converge upon the living room where we would share, pray, and crack our Bibles together. When we began, we were all kind of church homeless, but over the course of two years we saw God do some amazing work through this group of friends. We saw one member give her life to Christ and tell her unbelieving family about her new life; we were allowed to minister to another who was going through a divorce and to love on two sweet friends as they moved away from us. We were able to support and encourage each other as we quietly listened for divine direction. We felt the chapter close on this group at the conclusion of this past summer – as we had all found our places in local fellowships:Trinity EPC, Ebenezer Baptist, and NewSpring Florence. It was time to roll up our sleeves, dig in, and plant where He instructed. Though our Monday nights are no longer spent together in the Cawthon living room, those peeps still have our backs – no doubt! So people are physically congregating in small groups, and they are virtually connecting through Internet vehicles like Facebook and blogging. Now, this is where it really gets fun! I’m sure most of you know, but Facebook is a social networking site where you have a very good chance of hooking up with Sue Ellen Salisbury, your BFF from seventh grade who moved to Wasilla twenty years ago. It’s also your ticket for reconnecting with dear Clementine and seeing regularly updated photos of her three precious (and precocious) daughters. Contrary to what some may believe, it
N
Cookie Cawthon is honored to be wife and mother to her family, is totally excited about NewSpring Church – Florence and enjoys blogging at www.cookiecawthon.com.
is quite secure (I grant and deny access to my information as I so choose). It’s also free, so get out there and take it for a spin. It’s kind of like cruising Main Street back in the day. Go see who there is to see, and definitely go be seen! And having a friend request pop into your inbox is so similar to the love notes of elementary school (Will you be my friend? Check yes or no)… Now blogging is my thing. A blog is a weblog where a person writes regularly, posts pictures, shares funny stories, embeds videos and songs, etc… I have seen this used as a fabulous tool for allowing grandparents to see their cuties on a daily basis, even when they live nine hundred miles away. My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and an out-of-town cousin (no, not Clementine) read my blog on a regular basis, and I can unequivocally say that it has enhanced our relationships. They are allowed to peek into my brain, peek into my day, and Ms. Lillian even commented that it helps her to know how to pray for us. How cool is that? It’s also a fantastic way to keep up with friends, local and distant. I don’t delight in talking on the phone, and I especially don’t enjoy talking on the phone with youngsters underfoot. Blogging is my half of a phone conversation; it’s what I have to say about what’s going on in my world. And I can share it with numerous people at once. It can also be very interactive with readers commenting or emailing their responses. Blogging is my cheap hobby and my creative obsession. Isn’t it amazing the speed at which things change around us? Yet one of the most basic of our needs remains unchanged; we crave connection with each other – family and friends. So, get yourself on the information super highway and take a Sunday drive over to Aunt Maxine’s Facebook page; she may have her famous mac and cheese recipe posted that will help you carry on the family tradition…
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 37
The Carolinian was the best option for Mom...and Me! “It seems more and more these days, as the senior population grows, we adult children face unique challenges as we struggle to balance careers, social commitments, raising our children or grandchildren, and caring for our aging parents. The Carolinian helps me balance some of these responsibilities. Since coming here, I know that Mom gets three nutritious meals each day, someone to do her housework and drive her to the doctor. She has lots of friends and social activities to keep her busy and she loves her new found independence! Finally, I have peace of mind that she is safe, secure and happy.”
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Mail to 718 Dargan St • Florence, SC 29506, or email thecarolinian@rhf.org www.carolinianretirement.com
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the
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Bliss of aS.I.S. by Melodie Griffin
*This article is dedicated to my dear S.I.S. friends in the Pee Dee of SC and across this nation. Thank you for holding my hand in the dark. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” If it weren’t for “Sharp Iron Sisters” (a.k.a. S.I.S.) in our lives, many of the treacherous life trails would have been far more perilous, way too scary, and altogether lonely. These heart sisters come alongside us and help to carry our suitcases that exceed the weight limit. I like to say that there are three categories of S.I.S. friends. 1. Front Porch S.I.S. “What was that? Did someone hear the doorbell ring? Quick! Hide the dirty dishes in the oven! (Shoot! It’s already full of other dirty dishes from the last time someone unexpectedly dropped by!).” There she is, standing prim and proper right on your front porch. Every hair is in place and she is holding her monogrammed purse, asking if she can come in. Agh! “Uh, I’d love to have you come in a sit a while, but, uh, well see, uh, there has been a terrible outbreak of the Tiberian Goose Flu around here and we are under strict orders to keep the place quarantined!” You cannot let her see your house this way. After all, hers is always so spotless every time you’ve ever been over there for Bible Study, right? Just because we don’t feel so inclined to invite these girlfriends in, doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy hanging out with them. There are two main things that can be done with a Front Porch S.I.S.: Laugh and Shop. Laughing is vital to our overall health (Proverbs 17:22 “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”) I have a list a mile long of friends who make me laugh. Okay, so sometimes I laugh with them, sometimes I laugh at them. They always return the favor, don’t worry. A buddy of mine always says,“I’m not laughing at you, I’m just making fun of you.” Thanks a lot. My most favorite laughing memories are the times when my girlfriends and I giggle so hard that eventually we forget what we were even laughing about! Kackling, snorting, belly laughs are almost as good as chocolate. A Front Porch S.I.S. is a great person to bring along for a little “retail therapy”! Just make sure that you have the same shopping styles, mind you. If you are a “skimmer”, you are on a “search and seize mission”. Get in and get out. Don’t waste time doing it. If you are a “scourer” you have to physically touch every item in the store before leaving – even if the item isn’t your size, style, or preference. “Wouldn’t Amelia just be a living doll in this top?” No good can come from skimmers and scourers shopping together. It’s just not right. 2. Living Room S.I.S. These friends can come in a little farther, even if the Tiberian Goose Flu is on the loose. You know these types – you are comfortable with them and when they ask for something to eat or drink, you tell them to “make themselves at home”. And they do. A living room S.I.S. goes the extra mile to help. Instead of saying “Let me know if there is anything that I can do” she will do something. Even if it’s wrong. These are the friends in my life who have come over and done my laundry, or cleaned my house, or cooked supper for me. Whether I wanted them to or not! Maybe now would be the appropriate time to interject that you should be up to date on your tetanus shots if you wish to be my friend. You can really talk to a living room S.I.S. and she will really listen…with her heart. She is trustworthy with your most fragile feelings and cares intensely about what you have
to say. Author Angela Thomas shares her own struggle of being vulnerable with close, Godly friends in her book, “Living Your Life as a Beautiful Offering.” I relate so much to this powerful passage where she says, ““One of the most difficult things for me is to let other people into the back room of my brokenness. It’s embarrassing, so I hesitate. Burdens are meant to be carried. Broken hearts and broken lives don’t get put back together while you’re laying on your bed in the dark. They are healed inside the arms of healthy love.” One of my favorite things that a Living Room S.I.S. does is to cry for you and with you. The gift of my friends’ tears on my behalf is humbling and priceless. Truth be told, we are living in God’s image when we value the tears of others. Psalm 56:8 says, “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” God, the greatest friend, keeps track of each tear that we cry (or, as my daughter and I say,“when my eyes reach dew point”!). 3. Junk Drawer S.I.S. Now we’re all the way in. I mean, really. How many of your close friends do you let have a gander at your junk drawer? (Or maybe you’re like me and every drawer in the house could qualify as a junk drawer). I’m just saying. One of the ways that I have fostered my Junk Drawer friends in life is by praying together. Nothing weaves our hearts closer together than when we spend time together in that special presence of the Lord as we seek His face in prayer. “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” These are the friends that you talk about God with – a lot. When you spend time with a Junk Drawer S.I.S., she makes you hungry and thirsty – for Him. These friends challenge and inspire you to let God squeeze all the muck out of your life and to make your life into the glorious reflection of Him that was intended to be all along. A Junk Drawer S.I.S. will not let you give up, no matter how badly you ache inside. She will encourage you and remind you of what is true in the light whenever it is pitch black dark and you can’t find the light switch. She finds the light switch for you. She holds the flashlight toward Jesus when your eyes are too weary to look. She holds your chin up to see Him even when you’re not sure that He is even standing there. In that crisis of fear, she keeps pointing His way until you see Him again – standing there, cheering for you to make it. It is up to us to be alert to these sisters that God brings into our lives. Sometimes they can come in the least expected of places and are the least likely person you would ever choose as a friend. But as a friend of mine says, “God is the best friend-picker.” I agree. When you find these friends, hang on for dear life and put Hebrews 10:24,25 into play. “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” Front Porch, Living Room, or Junk Drawer. Each of these sharp iron sisters is valuable in their own right. Make it a priority to seek these friends out this week. Oh, and as that great theologian,Woody the Cowboy “Toy Story”) says,“If you don’t have one, GET one!” Who’s in for some great dirty dishes casserole for supper? I think I just heard the doorbell ringing.
Melodie Griffin resides in her hometown of Hartsville, S.C. She is a writer, singer and a motivational speaker.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 39
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Sowing the Seeds of by Rebecca J. Blair
At
some point in our lives, most of us have felt alone, uncared for and maybe even abandoned. When I was in my early 20s, living and working in Florida, I was one such person. Although I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time, I sorely missed having a family to spend time with, offer and receive support from and, most of all, having a sense of belonging. My own family was here in South Carolina and I was “Miss Independent,” determined to make my own way in the world and not ask for – or even accept – other’s love and care. Fortunately, God had a better vision for me and He brought into my life a co-worker, Maritza Sanchez. Maritza was from a very tight-knit Puerto Rican family and, for reasons I still don’t understand, she reached out to me and offered her friendship. As that friendship grew, I began to accompany her on trips to visit her family in central Florida. I was very interested in Hispanic culture and learned to speak Spanish, so I was especially excited to spend time with a “real life” Latino family. Growing up in Marion, South Carolina, had not exposed me to much in the way of other cultures and I was so delighted to be able to witness another side of life. I loved watching her parents dance salsa and merengue with each other. There was such warmth in their interactions with each other and in the family in general. And the food! My goodness, I could write an article just on that alone. But I digress. As it turned out, they weren’t that much different from any other families, but they did have something that many families don’t have – an abundance of love. Maritza’s mother, “Doña Laura,” and her father,“Papa Juan,” always treated me as if I were their own. One year, I was unable to return to South Carolina for the holidays, so the Sanchezes invited me to spend Christmas with them. It is a humbling
honor to be included in another family’s rituals surrounding Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and I am forever grateful to them for opening their home to me – at that time particularly. I also was blessed to be able to accompany them on a trip to Puerto Rico to visit their family who remained there. Again, I was given an opportunity to experience something new and wonderful and to really see “the Island of Enchantment” as a native. Perhaps most importantly, this strong Baptist family always welcomed me to their church whenever I was in town and somehow, in spite of my heathenistic beliefs and tendencies, I was always glad to go. In retrospect, they showed Christ to me long before I knew Him. In my late 20s, I returned to South Carolina, much like the prodigal child. I was in a state of major transition in my life and felt very lost. Once again, unbeknownst to me at the time, the Lord sent a truly unique woman into my life. Janet Sims reached out to me and again, for reasons I will never understand – outside of her obedience to God – poured herself into me and helped me tremendously. Perhaps, partly due to her years of counseling experience, she listened to my objections about Christianity and my despair at the state of my life and the world without flinching. She showed Jesus to me and, in so doing, led me to Christ – an act of love for which I could never repay her. Once I was saved, she did not leave me to flounder. She discipled and encouraged me on a daily basis. She opened her home to me. More specifically, her son, Brandon, volunteered to give up his bedroom – until I could get on my feet and get a place of my own. In fact, her entire family has welcomed me and treated me like a member of the family. I think of her children as my own niece and nephews and her mother often signs letters to me from “Nana.”
Janet saw in me a gift for her own field of counseling and hired me to help out in her office. However, it has been so much more than a job. In short, she has given me an apprenticeship in counseling and taught me things that would have taken years to learn in traditional ways. She has always believed in me and looked for opportunities to help me grow personally and professionally. Certainly, ours is a very unusual relationship. Many people could not be so many things to each other and still get along; however, with the Lord’s anointing, we are friends, sisters, boss/employee and co-laborers for Christ. Now, my husband and I are beginning the process of becoming foster parents (pray for us!) so that we may give back what we have so richly been given. Believe me, there is nothing special about me that would lead Maritza and her family or Janet and her family to be so kind and giving towards me. I know that there is little I can do to ever repay them for the kindnesses they have extended to me; but, if I carry on the tradition of love, hospitality and genuine concern for others that they have shown, perhaps I, too, can make a difference. As we head into the holiday season, I encourage you to be on the lookout for people who are lost and lonely and in need of some family time. As my story exemplifies, you never know the impact you can end up having on another person’s life. No, you may not have a long-term relationship with them, but even simple acts of kindness go a long way. Be aware of the people around you who may not have much family support for whatever reason. Look for the person at work or in your neighborhood who tends to seem alone. Remember widows, widowers and those who are recently divorced. Furthermore, if you are one of the blessed ones who have received the love of a Maritza or a Janet, take time to thank them today.
Rebecca Blair is the office manager for the counseling office of Janet R. Sims, P.A. in Florence. She lives in Lake City with her husband, Michael.
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by Marti Miller
When Families Fracture Maggie* was just four years old when the stranger showed up to take her to a new house in the dark of night.What would happen to her dolls? She had three, but the lady said she could only take one with her. Maybe Grammy would keep them safe for her and not let anything happen to them like what happened to her when Daddy got so mad. She didn’t mean to have an accident. She was just so scared. Devin*, Shayna*, and their new baby brother were separated after the police came and removed them from the abandoned apartment. Who would care for the baby now? Momma was too messed up and “Uncle” Jake* was long gone. Nisha* could not stand to look at the people who were her parents. They had never protected her before, why would they protect her now? She hoped they would disappear and she could be finally free of them for good. Every night, as long as she could remember, she prayed that she would not grow up to be like them. November is usually a wonderful time for family and friends to gather and celebrate with gratitude the many blessings received throughout the year. But stories, such as the ones described above, play out every day and night in our country. As much as we would like to believe it, children are not always safe at home and parents are not always capable of caring effectively for the lives they bring into this world. Sometimes families fracture. Children as young as newborns, and toddlers to teenagers, can be removed from their homes and placed in foster or relative care when neglect and abuse allegations are made. Family court systems are designed to assist in returning fractured families to normalcy whenever possible. The Department of Social Services (DSS) provides caseworkers and family service workers to devise treatment plans designed to reunite families. Foster families provide day-to-day care for children who cannot be safe at home. However, reunification of families is the goal whenever possible. Lawyers provide representation for parents and adults and judges determine when and if effective progress is made and when and if families can be mended. But who speaks for the children in these situations when they go to court? Who speaks for Maggie and Devin and Shasta and Nisha? Lawyers represent parents
and perpetrators. Caseworkers are burdened with processing and monitoring every detail of mountainous paperwork and treatment plans. For South Carolina families, there is the Volunteer Guardian ad litem Program. In some states the program is called CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates).Volunteers (GALs) receive thirty hours of training (including class work, community resource presentations, and court observations) and are assigned to children when their parents become involved in the family court process. They also participate in a minimum of 12 hours in-service training each year. Children are placed in foster care (and, yes, it can happen at night and the experience is traumatic for the children, no matter their ages or the time of day). Sometimes they are placed with relatives. Sometimes they remain in their homes with a safety plan in place. And sometimes children are placed and re-placed and placed again, rather like pawns on a chessboard. Some children enter and leave the court system quickly. Others remain until they “age out” when they reach 18. They may move from place to place, or they may remain in a well-matched foster family. Some are even adopted by their foster family, if parental rights are terminated by the court. The one constant throughout the legal journey is a GAL, who continues to follow the children until the case is closed by the courts. Once they are appointed by the court in a case of neglect or abuse, Guardians ad litem volunteer to do an independent investigation of the case; they interview all parties involved; they review DSS case files; and they are the voice for the children when court hearings are scheduled. Judges listen to and read GAL reports. It is the GAL’s responsibility to let the judge know what the children’s wishes are, and to recommend to the court what is in their best interest. Children continue to love their parents, even when they are hurt or harmed by them, but parents are not always capable of responding to that love and returning it. Sometimes it is only a temporary issue. Other times it is, unfortunately, a permanent inability. So, what does a GAL look like? Who are they? Some children have been overheard referring to their GAL as a guardian angel – not because they see them with wings and a harp and halo, but simply because they see them reg-
ularly. In Marion County, there are 22 active GALs. Five of them are men. (Surprised? Don’t be. Men make wonderful guardians. So if you are a man reading this, don’t think you can’t be one.) Most work parttime or fulltime jobs, in addition to volunteering. (Yet another excuse kicked to the curb?) Tallying all ages and dividing by 22, Marion County GALs are in their early forties. One must be at least 21 to volunteer as a GAL, but there is no limit at the other end (so you are not too old to do it, if that’s what you’re thinking). Marion GALs are married, divorced, widowed, and single. Some have no children and some have grandchildren. Basically, there is no typical GAL portrait to paint here. Anyone with a heart for children and a few extra hours each month (and a clean criminal record) can serve as a Guardian ad litem. It is not an easy volunteer experience. It is not like writing a check or baking cupcakes. But there will be children who will touch your very soul. There will be foster parents who provide beautiful examples of love, and DSS caseworkers who will bowl you over by the work they do every single day.You will meet parents who want desperately to do the right thing by their children.We are all called to serve our fellow man. Perhaps your call may be to serve a few children in need? I have been a GAL for less than a year, and there have been more than a few times when I thought I could not or should not do it. Sometimes we are called to step out in faith, before we know exactly where we are going. The journey provides the treasures before we can even give them a name. As you prepare for family and friendly gatherings this November and into the Christmas season, please consider if you may have some “extra” hours a month to spare for a few children in need. It can be a wonderful way to begin a new year - to be more of a doer and not just a hearer only. If we are not part of our solutions, we may indeed become part of our problems in our extended family of humans being. * The names are fiction.Thank you for considering a call to volunteer. Please contact Barbara Ann Woodbury, GAL Coordinator for Marion County at 843-275-9901 or Paulette Blake, GAL Coordinator for Florence County at 843-669-7940. New GAL training classes begin in January.
Marti Miller breathes and hopes in Marion, SC where messages are always welcomed.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 45
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Chic k Lit What’s on Emily Phillips’ Best-Seller List?
Blue Hole Back Home by Joy Jordan-Lake
J
oy Jordan-Lake is a college friend of mine with whom I had lost touch until earlier this year. Blue Hole Back Home is her fifth book. It is a novel set in 1979 in the Southern Appalachian Mountains during a time when one would think racial issues were a thing of the past. Based on events that occurred during her teen years in her hometown of Signal Mountain, Tennessee, Joy has written a book you won’t soon forget. The lessons learned haunt you long after you’ve read the last page. I have actually recently picked the book back up to read it for a second time. It’s just that good! The inseparable group of kids growing up in Pisgah Ridge, North
Carolina, did everything together. They were never the same after the summer of 1979 when they welcomed the new girl from Sri Lanka into their pack. Bringing her along to bask in the sun and enjoy the local swimming hangout known as the Blue Hole was a life-altering decision. The reader will live that summer alongside these kids and will realize the same fear, anger, loyalty, exhilaration and confusion they experienced. You will be challenged to be a better person. You will be convicted of the temptation to look at those who are different from you with a critical eye. Finally, you will be committed to stand up for what’s right – even if you’re the only one left standing.
Emily Phillips and her husband, Clark live in Hartsville with their two girls ages 12 and 8. They enjoy doing things together as a family such as playing tennis and going to movies. They are involved in the youth and children’s programs at their church, as well. Emily is the owner of Burry Bookstore in Hartsville.
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48 • November 2008 • She Magazine
Marion’s
19th Annual
Community Christmas Tree
Lighting Celebration & Holiday Prelude Saturday, December 6th & S u n d a y, D e c e m b e r 7 t h December 6th - Highlights Sponsored By:
• Prelude to Christmas : Main Street Marion Office 301 N. Main Street. - 9:30am - 4:00pm • Carriage Rides in dontown Marion - 10am - 1pm • FREE Photos with Santa - 10am - 1pm, Byars Park • Marion Chamber of Commerce Annual Christmas Parade -4:30pm
December 7th - Highlights • Prelude to Christmas : Main Street Marion Office 301 N. Main St. - 1pm - 5pm • Marion Pilot Club soup & cornbread supper and bake sale. 5pm-7pm at Marion Baptist Church Fellowship Hall. $4.00 per person. There will also be a silent auction and raffle during the evening.
Tree Lighting Celebration - 6:00pm
d
A Carol Lighting Service held at the Courthouse to light a huge magnolia tree on the square, featuring over 10,000 lights. The courthouse steps, the town square fountain and Main Street will be lit with over 1,400 luminaries. Additional Highlights... • The arrival of Santa Claus aboard the City of Marion Fire Truck - 5:00pm • Hot Apple Cider - Sponsored by local banking institutions •Handicapped section available • Nativity Scene • Children’s Community Chorus
Sunday December 7th (following the tree lighting) at 7:00pm at Withlacoochee Park.
D o n’ t M i s s T h i s E x c i t i n g E v e n t !
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Generation to
Generation
Here we are at 50! Working together in my shop the Summer of 2007
Mom and Tuey (Peggy and Stuart) planning a joint high school reunion...
by Paige Thomas
rowing up, I had three sisters. Two of them were by blood; we have the same mom and dad and grew up in the same home. The other was a friend that I met when I was only three-months-old and for most of my growing-up years, was either at my home or I was in hers. We were often called the Bobbsey Twins. I have written before about the generation of women who knew each other during the times of the Great Depression and survived the years spanning WWII. They held a bond and a tenacity that is unparalleled. My mother and one of her best friends fall into this generation of women. They shared things most of us will never experience and because they supported each other during those times, had relationships and friendships that seemed inseparable. Somehow that gift was passed on to their children. The unique thing about these two friendships is that they were also connected and cemented with the birth of their youngest daughters. On April 22, 1957, my mother gave birth to ME and I became a reality in a family of one son and two older sisters. Exactly three months later on July 22, her friend, Stuart, gave birth to a baby girl, the youngest of three with an older brother and sister. I am not going to tell you that I remember our first introduction, but I have plenty of pictures to let me know that we have been friends since birth. One of my favorites is a picture of the two of us learning how to be beach babes. We were laying in the surf on our stomachs – mostly naked – grinning and kicking with all the joy two infants can muster while playing in water. This feeling and love for the beach never left either one of us. We spent many summers vacationing next door to each other at Windy Hill, SC. If both families were not there, we were still with each other. As my friend and I adopted each other, we also adopted the other’s parents and families as our own. Let me sidetrack and explain that one other
G
thing we shared in common was that our moms, Peggy and Stuart, gave us names from the family archives (as is so prevalent in the South). Before I left the hospital, I was given the task as a tiny infant of going through life carrying the name Paige Self. Just three months later, my friend went home with her crown of Anne Simms Player, using the middle name Simms. In 1957, there were no other Paiges; it was NOT a common name back then. I can assure you there was not another Simms in the book either. I’m not sure I have ever met another. Our names were not the only reasons we stood out, though. Our moms did a lot together and thus, so did we. They were into Garden Clubs, Literary Clubs, The Junior Welfare League and high school reunions. I don’t remember a time when they were not planning something. If they could incorporate Simms and me, we were initiated. I remember us having to be in school and community plays and sing “Baby Face” to a boy our age. I recall having to dress like grownup hostesses for a wedding at our house. Furthermore, much to my dismay, I remember having to pretend I was playing bridge dressed like a woman my mother’s age, only to find that picture on the front page of the paper the next day. Simms had to dance to a drummer’s beat. The only difference was she kind of liked getting her picture taken, as well as the fun and attention. Those were not our only times of dress-up. Through the years – especially on birthdays and in October when everyone is searching for costumes – we became many things. Simms was Little Bo Peep and I was the Queen of Hearts. She was Raggedy Ann and I was Raggedy Andy. It’s funny that we never dressed as the same character. Even though we spent so much time together, we had our own identities in life and in play. Through the years, I guess our own identities kicked in and we began to spend more time with others and have more separate lives. I was always more of a bookworm and Simms was more social. As with our
In the surf at Windy Hill...beach babes forever
past, I guess she always enjoyed playing dress-up more than I did and I stayed more on the safe, conservative path. I was interested in one boy all the way through high school and college, but Simms had other interests. We were different, but we were still friends. After high school, I went on to college and Simms got a degree in dental assisting. I stayed in Florence and she moved around. Somehow she ended up in Florida and met her husband-to- be. He was from Rochester, NY, so I’m not sure how she convinced him to make SC their home, but they did. Through the years, we have (as our moms did) shared the birth of our children, watched them grow and go their separate ways to school and other careers. Unfortunately, since I had three boys, we did not have girls to become best friends in the shadow of our heritage. Nonetheless, because of the friendship of our moms that was passed to us, I think we share a bond that is unparalleled and, perhaps, inseparable. Although we are not together every day or even as often as we were as children, we have been there when we needed to be. We supported each other during struggles with children, spouses and life events. We were together and supported each other when we lost our moms. Stuart passed away after battling cancer in 1994 and we helped each other and my mother, Peggy, deal with our loss. Then, when mom left us in 1999, it was just Simms and me. We realized that we are now the older generation and it is our time to leave a legacy. When I turned 50 in 2007, of course, Simms did, as well. We were together on our birthdays and reconnected on a different level. I think we both rediscovered a friendship that will be there when we need it most and have had opportunity to experience it again with life events. Although Simms recently decided to move again and is now living in Bluffton, SC, I think we have been left a tremendous gift and we need to treasure this friendship that spans 51 years, continuing to make the most of the memories and moments of our past.
'Paige Thomas lives in Florence with her husband, Joey. Besides two Sheltie children, she has three grown sons and four stepchildren
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 51
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shop talk
817 D. South Cashua Dr. • Florence Next to World of Color
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Phillip Lassen & Gene Brunson Gene Brunson and I had a need for closet organization in our own homes. Since there were no closet designers in Florence, we had to call a company in Columbia. First, it was very hard to persuade them to come to Florence. When they never showed up, we thought we could do it ourselves. We talked to Biggs Love with Biggs Casework, Inc., who had done cabinet work for both Gene and me. Biggs already had a concept ready to go. Gene and I took the idea and ran with it. Carolina Closets & More was established in March of 2007. We are a locally-owned business, not a franchise. We have one installer, Aaron. Our wives,Teresa and Kevin, help out in the office when we are out on a job. Also, my oldest son, Drayton, helps out a good bit. All of our product is made in Florence. As the premier company in the home and commercial storage and organizational business, we can design and manufacture storage systems for closets, pantries and garages. We also do home offices, work stations and entertainment centers. Carolina Closets can work with any type of closet. We have installed the standard bi-fold-type closet to the very large walk-in. If we cannot improve what you have, we will tell you so up front. The most popular requests we receive are for master bedroom closets. Most have the wire shelves, which have fallen down many times and don’t meet the needs of the customer. We remove the shelves, patch the walls and install our system. This is done after we have had two or three meetings with the customer so we have a good understanding of exactly what they want and they understand the options that are available. It is an easy process for them. Most of our clients come to us because they want to make their
lives a little easier. People are in their closets every day trying to find something to wear. It makes busy lives easier when you can find what you’re looking for. They also want to increase their available space without having to do a major remodeling job. We come in the morning and are finished that afternoon. It doesn’t take a week like it would with a trim carpenter and a painter. In comparison to a retail-type closet option, Carolina Closets offers savings in both time and money. We spend the time with our clients to understand their storage needs. We have exclusive access to accessories that you cannot find in the stores or that a carpenter/builder doesn’t know about. Gene and I have invested a great deal of time and energy to gain an in-depth knowledge of this industry and how it all fits together. We have designed over 230 closets and that experience is invaluable. We ask the questions that most people have never thought about. It truly leads to a custom storage system. Plus, we install it all. Planning and design capabilities make Carolina Closets unique. We can take ideas and bring them to reality. Then, we install them and make sure they work. Carolina Closets & More is located at 817-D South Cashua Drive in Florence (in the same shopping center as World of Color Design Center and Porter Paints). Our hours of operation are Monday through Friday from 10:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. We are happy to arrange special appointments on Saturdays and Sundays. Our phone number is 843-6673626.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 53
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Sunday, December 7th Artists’ Place in the HMRA building : 1-5pm Pilot Club Soup & Cornbread supper and bake sale : 5pm-7pm at the Marion Baptist Church Fellowship Hall. $4.00 per person. There will also be a silent auction and raffle during the evening. The arrival of Santa Claus, aboard the City of Marion Fire Truck: 5:30pm Annual Tree Lighting and Program at the Square : 6pm Fireworks immediately following at Withlacoochee Park
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“. . . love your neighbor as yourself”
we are all by Leigh Clary Abdou An interesting piece of Biblical information is the fact that we are all related. Everyone on earth is from the seed of Adam and Eve; however, more recent (if you can call it that) is the genealogy of Noah and his three children. Noah’s family comes from the lineage of Seth, the third child of Adam and Eve. Seth, which means “the appointed one,” was the substitute for Eve’s second child, Abel, who was killed by his older brother, Cain. I know the thought of reading through the genealogy of the Old Testament seems like a daunting task, but the certainty is that the lineage is very interesting and all ultimately leads to the Christ Child. Yes, the seed of Mary – the Christ – can be traced all the way back to Adam and Eve, covering thousands of years and a vast array of people and their situations. Noah had three sons – Shem, Japheth and Ham. When he entered the ark, the Lord spoke to him and told him to bring his three sons and their wives. Once off the ark, these three sons spread out and multiplied into tribes that populated the earth. From the seed of Shem derives the Jewish nation, which eventually leads to the forefathers of Judaism – Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. From Shem came the Semite Tribe, hence the word “Semitic” that we use today. The blessing for Shem and his descendants was, “Blessed be the Lord God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem. May God extend the territory of Japheth; may Japheth live in the
tents of Shem and may Canaan be his slave” (Genesis 9:26-27). Noah’s oldest son was Japheth. Once off the ark, Japheth went north and inhabited Europe, Spain, etc. His blessing was that through Shem (the Jews), he would be blessed (Genesis 9:27). Ham, Noah’s youngest son, had a rather large dispute with his father (Genesis 9:22-23); therefore, Ham received not a blessing, but a curse. “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers” (Genesis 9:25). After the flood, Ham stayed in the Palestine area and his descendants were the Canaanites and other tribes in Canaan. In the book of Joshua, Joshua leads the Israelites (Shem) into the Promised Land and the Canaanites are defeated and many put to death. Thus the prophecy is fulfilled with the Israelites taking their land and the few Canaanite survivors becoming the slaves of Israel. From this point, the lineage of Shem is closely followed. It has a very important history, considering that this lineage will fulfill Genesis 3:15 (“. . . He [Christ] will crush your head [Satan]”) and lead to Jesus, who will save the world from their sins. After several hundreds and thousands of years, Shem’s ancestry expands. One man (Shem) turns into two to three million Israelites (as documented in the book of Numbers). It seems impossible and many believe that there had to be other people on the earth at that point to help the population grow, but you must look at the facts.
Most families consisted of numerous children and, oftentimes, multiple wives. All this and several years’ time multiplies these numbers in the millions. Children and their descendents would become tribes, with these tribes being spoken about throughout the period of the Old Testament. This proves that we are all family. We are just very distant family members! Now we know why the Lord commands us to “. . . love your neighbor as yourself” (Romans 13:9) and why he “is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). This is why it is said we are all children of God! God created Adam and Eve from his own image (Genesis 1:27), just like Seth was born of Adam’s image (Genesis 5:3) and how our children today are created in our image. When Adam was created, he was created in a sinless image. Sadly, when Seth was born, he was created in a sinful image – a sinful image that has been passed down to all the tribes and people of the past and all the nations of people alive today. The only one not born in that image was Jesus himself, Who was born to a virgin 2,000 years ago – bypassing the seed of man. Enjoy your immediate family during this time, knowing that all humans were created by the Lord thousands of years ago somewhere in the Middle East in the Garden of Eden. Therefore, we are all family!
Leigh Abdou lives in Florence with her husband, Tony and loves working for She Magazine. She is originally from Valdosta, GA.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 55
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She
wants your most fabulous holiday recipes!
From scrumptious sweets to the best stuffing ever, we need your best holiday recipes for the December issue of online version of And
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Be a friend
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“
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
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She
10/21/08
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843.423.9531
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PURSE STRINGS:
by Michelle Bailey
Credit Unions Deserve a
w
When I was asked to write “Purse Strings” this month, it didn’t take me two seconds to decide on a topic that I thought all would find interesting. (Okay, maybe not all since I have several friends and even very good friends who work in the banking world.) Please know that I say this with all the love and respect; credit unions deserve a break. Over the past several weeks, I have resorted to making jokes that we in the credit union industry are safe and sound and, yes,WE ARE INSURED. I am a marketer and nothing scares us creative people more than having to talk about money and being safe-and-sound. We like to spend money – and spend it as fast and as furiously as we can. (Sorry, Mr. CEO, I had to throw that one in there). At the same time, I have a passion for what I do – not only for marketing but for helping our members. Many of you may have seen the Oprah episode in which “financial expert,” Suze Orman, stated that if your money isn’t FDIC insured, your money is not safe. Within twenty-four hours, she publicly apologized and even went so far as to write a retraction on Oprah’s website. Typically, people prefer to put their money in large banks. Most like the extra sense of security and the variety of features and services banks offer. Lately, however, the press has been filled with stories of the troubles of Mr. Big Bank, who has taken on the characteristics of a high-maintenance relationship – fickle terms, low returns, hefty fees and, finally, the meltdown. Therefore, some people have started flirting with the competition. Credit unions, in particular, are getting a good once-over and many like what they see. Not one penny of insured savings has ever been lost by a member of a federally insured credit union. The National Credit Union Administration (NCUA) charters and supervises federal credit unions. NCUA, backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S.
A E K
R B
government, operates and manages the National Credit Union Share Insurance Fund (NCUSIF), insuring the accounts of nearly 89 million account holders in all federal credit unions and the majority of state-chartered credit unions. That insurance is backed by the government, but it is funded by credit unions – not federal tax dollars. There are more than 1.2 million South Carolinians with money in a credit union account who never have to worry about the safety of their deposits. All 81 credit unions based in South Carolina carry federal insurance from the National Credit Union Administration (NCUA) and, thanks to the recent revitalization act, that insurance covers member deposits up to at least $250,000.(*) Just look for the rectangular blue “NCUA” decal on the branch doors. Beyond that, South Carolina credit unions have recently fared better than peers in growth in assets, loans and market/shares (deposits); in net worth growth and in percentage of loans to shares, indicating credit unions are using deposits to fund needed loans. Above all, net worth indicates South Carolina credit unions are better capitalized than regional and national peers. NCUA considers a credit union with net worth of 7.0% to be “well-capitalized.” So, then the question is, “What next?” If I only had that magic ball I used as a child, this would be such an easy answer. That is just it; there is no easy answer! Advisors suggest that we save, diversify (or as my grandmother always said, “Michelle, don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”), do not overextend and, last but certainly not least, BUDGET. Make informed decisions about your financial choices, whether bank or credit union. Look for the financial institution that meets your particular needs. Some credit unions will match your finances to your payroll and some
banks have more locations. Some credit unions are part of a cooperative network called shared branching. Many banks can offer full-trust and financial planning services. Do the research and stay informed. One thing I caution against (especially now, but even in prosperity) is falling into the “buy-now, pay-later” trap. If you don’t have it in your account, don’t spend it. Use your debit card instead of your credit card. Payday lenders have the best marketing campaigns for a reason. Be careful because they are expensive and can cost you up to 700% of what you borrow. Experts say consumer spending is only five percent numbers and ninety-five percent emotional needs. Know who you are and learn to ask yourself more than once if a purchase is necessary. Guess what? Budgeting and managing your finances is your responsibility. No one will do it all for you. Some credit unions have financial advisors; most have financial planning tools and all will help you. They will pull your credit, offer suggestions, set up credit recovery accounts to help you get a handle on your debt and start reducing it. From there, however, you have to make it your own habit. Consumers should start thinking of the future beyond this financial crisis, which individual wants have led us as Americans. At a time when helping each other has become necessary for our economic well-being, credit unions are proud of their founding philosophy of “People Helping People” – and we live by it! You have even more alternatives than you may know of and more than some experts are remembering to tell you. Give credit unions a break. Wile you’re at it, give us a look. Whether national economic conditions are good or bad, our not-for-profit financial institutions are – and will remain – one of the safest institutions in America to keep your deposits.
(*) South Carolina Credit Union League, October 2008.
Michelle Bailey is the Marketing Manager for Health Facilities Federal Credit Union. She is active in the community with Leadership Florence, Keep Florence Beautiful and Relay for Life. She resides in Florence with her husband, Chris, and their son, Austin.
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You Can’t Choose Your FAMILY However, when it comes to FRIENDS and SHOES it’s all up to you!
SHOP ON!
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Women
and
Diabetes by Dr. Cory M. Smith Medical Plaza Family Medicine
N
ovember is National Diabetes Awareness Month. Diabetes is a disease that affects the body's ability to produce or respond to insulin, a hormone that allows blood sugar to enter the cells of the body and be used for energy. According to the American Diabetes Association, 23.6 million children and adults have diabetes. Among women, 11.5 million, or 10.2 percent of all women 20 years or older have diabetes. However, nearly 25 percent of them do not know it. In African American, Hispanic/Latino American, American Indian, and Asian/Pacific Islander women the prevalence of diabetes is at least 2 to 4 times higher than Caucasian women. If not treated and properly controlled, diabetes can have numerous devastating consequences including death. Complications of Diabetes
Diabetes ranks sixth among the leading causes of death in women. If not treated or controlled diabetes can result in the following complications: • Heart disease and stroke • Blindness • Kidney Disease • Nervous system disease (i.e., pain or loss of sensation in hands or feet, slowed digestion of food) • Amputations • Dental Disease • Complications of pregnancy • Sexual dysfunction 65 percent of women with diabetes die from heart disease or stroke. In women, over the past thirty years there has been a 23 percent increase in death from heart disease in women with diabetes. This can be compared to a 27 percent decrease in death from heart disease in women without diabetes over the same time period. The ideal way to avoid the complications of diabetes is to avoid developing the disease. For the millions of people with diabetes, proper control of the disease can decrease the development of complications. Prevention of Diabetes The best ways to reduce your risk of developing diabetes are the same things that are the cornerstone of having a healthy lifestyle. This includes maintaining a healthy weight, eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Obesity is one of the greatest risk factors for developing diabetes. By keeping weight under control, the risk of developing diabetes can be significantly decreased. Genetic factors also contribute to the development of diabetes. Since one does not have control over their genetics, it makes it that much more important to pay attention to the factors that can be controlled such as weight, proper diet and exercise. Since a quarter of women with diabetes don't know they have it, it is also important to be able to recognize the warning signs of diabetes.
Dr. Cory M. Smith
Signs and Symptoms of Diabetes Many people developing diabetes may begin suffering from the following signs or symptoms: • Frequent urination • Unusual thirst • Excessive fatigue • Unusual weight loss • Irritability • Frequent infections • Blurred vision • Cuts that are slow to heal • Tingling/numbness in the hands/feet However, many people who are developing diabetes have no symptoms. Recognizing the symptoms of diabetes is crucial in detecting the disease and getting it treated. Treatment The same elements involved in preventing diabetes are also the cornerstone of treating it. Many cases of diabetes can be controlled with weight loss, proper diet and exercise alone. In many other cases, medications are used to help keep control of one's blood sugars. However, even when medication is necessary, ideal control can not be obtained without maintaining a healthy weight, eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Women with diabetes should also follow up with their health care providers on a regular basis to ensure their diabetes is adequately controlled. Your health care provider can run a blood test called a hemoglobin A1C to measure your control. Self monitoring of blood sugars is also important in the control of diabetes. If you notice a change in your blood sugars, you should contact your health care provider in case changes in your therapy are needed.Women with diabetes also must make sure to keep proper control of their blood pressure and cholesterol. Diabetes is a serious disease that affects 11.5 million women 20 years of age or older. It is a disease that can have many serious complications. However, it does not have to be that way. By living a healthy lifestyle, you can control your diabetes and not let it control you. McLeod Diabetes Center Offers Pre-Diabetes Class The McLeod Diabetes Center offers a new class for pre-diabetes patients, which will take place from 4:15 - 6:30 p.m. on the third Wednesday of each month beginning in January of 2009. Pre-diabetes is not diabetes, but a precursor to the condition indicating insulin resistance. Pre-diabetes increases one's risk of developing type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. With intervention, including education and lifestyle changes, pre-diabetes patients can lower their blood glucose levels, prevent or delay the onset of type 2 diabetes, and decrease risk of cardiovascular disease. The class will teach pre-diabetes patients effective lifestyle changes that can prevent them from developing diabetes. Persons interested in the class should call McLeod Reservations and Scheduling at (843) 777-2095. Physician referral is not required.The cost of the course is $20 for the patient, and $5 for one other family member or caregiver who would also like to attend.
Dr. Cory M. Smith cares for patients at Medical Plaza Family Medicine, located at 800 East Cheves Street, Suite 310, in Florence. He is accepting new patients; appointments can be made by calling Medical Plaza Family Medicine at (843) 679 - 7272.
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through
THICK and
THIN
continued...
by allie atkinson
i
I have received an overwhelming response to the story I told last month about my friend’s battle with breast cancer. Consequently, I decided that I would use my article this month to update everyone on her progress. As I write this, I am waiting again. My friend is in surgery at this very minute. She is scheduled to have a lumpectomy today at the age of thirty-five. They are also going to remove the local lymph nodes and verify that they are clear. Up to this point, the news has been as good as could be expected. From the biopsy and MRI, the surgeon was able to ascertain that the cancer is slowgrowing and that it is of a kind that does not metastasize often. It is also a type that responds well to hormone replacement therapy. Hopefully, the surgery will verify this. If it does, then even though my friend will have to undergo chemotherapy, the surgeon will allow her to wait until after the wedding in January. In the meantime, she will undergo radiation – but at least she will have her own hair for her wedding. That may seem like a minor concern, but I remember wanting everything to be perfect on my wedding day, too. I can’t even fathom looking at my wedding pictures and remembering that I am wearing a wig. It’s difficult enough to go through this entire process. At least she has the wedding to look forward to. I want it to be perfect for her. It’s not that she won’t have to undergo chemo later, but I want her to be able to enjoy her wedding day. I’m glad she has a doctor that will exercise that option if at all possible. I am waiting again. It is now a full day later than when this article was begun, but I had run out of things to say and I wanted to wait and see if I would learn anything more. I don’t have much that’s new. I do know that they ended up taking her back into imaging prior to surgery for another look. I know that when they injected the radioactive dye prior to the surgery, they had to do so through several apparently painful injections and injections sites. I know that they didn’t begin until almost three o’clock, rather than the lunchtime operation that was expected. I know that they removed more
lymph nodes than I believe they previously intended. But what does all of that mean? Days later . . . The second surgery went well. The doctor told my friend that he was surprised he had to go back in at all and he felt as though everything would have been fine after the first surgery. The pathology lab that they used was the one who encouraged them to go ahead and do the second surgery. Oh well, better safe than sorry. So, we’re waiting again because, now, we have to await the pathology report from the second surgery. Then it will be time to begin the second phase of attack. Chemo, radiation and hormone replacement are looming in the not-so-distant future. Nevertheless, my friend is strong. She has tons of support and she “can do all things through Christ who strengthens [her]” (Philippians 4:13). As can we all. When the road gets dark, dreary and rough, He is with us. Take courage in that. On a personal note: “I didn’t really think that this article would get finished this month; however, so many of you have stopped me in the street and parking lot to ask me about my friend’s progress that I was encouraged to finish it. Please continue to lift her up in your thoughts and prayers. update
I’ll continue to you
on
her
progress and we can all bear witness to the work of God.” - Allie Atkinson
Allie Atkinson is a French teacher at Marion High School. She lives in Marion with her husband, Philip and daughter, Abbie.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 69
Beautiful Styles for a
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C
HICKS
OF THE
M
ONTH
Sitting Left to Right: Katina Gambell, Glenda Young, Debbie Hyman, Louise Tilton, Stacy McKenzie, Ram Jackson, Ann Tisdale, Amy Lynch, Lisa Hill,Tysha Boykin Standing Left to Right: Leatha Godbold, Janice Watson,Tammy Harvin , Judy Allen, Pam Prosser,Vicki Bazen, Pam Boswell,Yolanda Williamson, Casi Crowley, Charmin Locklair, Kaye Watford
In a letter to She Magazine, Katina Gamble and Lisa Hill with Pee Dee Cardiology Associates, P.A. in Florence, wrote: “Chicks of the Month� describes the
our nuclear and clinical staff, we work
participants of new, unfamiliar tech-
staff at Pee Dee Cardiology Associates.
together as a well-oiled machine to
niques to treat our heart patients. From
We have been serving the Pee Dee
meet and exceed the needs of our
the main office in Florence to our two
since 1985 and continue to provide
patients. We serve anywhere from 40 to
satellite offices in Loris and Little River,
patients with the utmost cardiac care.
200 patients a day. Our doctors are
we are proud to provide everyone with
From our accounting and administrative
highly recognized members of the med-
the most experienced and up-to-date
department and medical records staff to
ical community and have been strong
cardiac care.
She Magazine & Chick-Fil-A salute the staff of
Pee Dee Cardiology If you would like to receive lunch courtesy of She Magazine and Chick-fil-A at the Magnolia Mall, Magnolia Mall Drive-In and Florence Darlington Tech locations, send a brief e-mail telling us why your office or group should be Chicks of the Month to: editor@shemagazine.com
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 71
Great Styles & Savings In Sto re!
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IN HIS OWN WORDS
72
family
Time
I was surprised, yet honored, when Melia asked me to contribute to She Magazine’s November “Friends & Family” issue. Family is obviously a broad and complicated topic to which everyone brings their own perspective. Mine begins having been born and raised in Florence. I am married to my delightful wife, Devin, for over eight years. We have been blessed with two wonderful daughters – Ruth, who just turned seven, and Helen, who just turned five. It is interesting how a person’s views on family evolve over the years, particularly as one moves from the family into which he was born to the new family that is created with marriage and children. Family has provided me with experiences that I hope to pass on to my own children. My parents, Carroll and Nancy, provided my sister and me with fundamental Christian values and lessons – some taught directly and explicitly. Most, however, were taught by example. Values such as love, selflessness, sharing, compromise, compassion, patience, loyalty and the benefits of hard work all were taught and reinforced by Mom and Dad. I was raised in Florence, went away to college, medical school and residency and returned with my fiancée (now wife), Devin, to practice medicine, just as my father and mother had done over forty years before. Mom and Dad’s loyalty to one another, to their church, to their community and to their children’s families are traits which I hope to pass on to my two girls, as well. A loving family is a testament to God’s love for us and is a source of nurturing and strength. For me, this has been reinforced recently during these times of economic and political uncertainty and angst. A loving Christian family is one thing that I feel is reliable and stable. I work as a general surgeon with Pee Dee Surgical Group in Florence, which entails many long hours of work. I very much enjoy my profession and, despite the rigors involved, it is rewarding and gratifying to perform successful surgery and to try to help my patients feel better. Nothing, however, is as satisfying and heartwarming as coming home from work, opening the door and have my two girls come running, yelling “Daddy’s home!”
I
challenge in life as a husband and father is balancing work and family. General surgery is an amazingly diverse field which is intellectually challenging and rewarding; however, unfortunately, it is also time-consuming and plays havoc with attempts to maintain a scheduled life. My patients can’t help it if their appendicitis occurs at 5:00 PM or later and, as such, it is impossible not to miss some important events. I am blessed with a wife who also works in the medical field as a Nurse Anesthetist and therefore completely understands (although not always likes) that emergencies occur. She is remarkably understanding and flexible when plans must change. She is also a driving force in reminding me that there will always be more surgery to do, but that Ruth and Helen will only be seven and five once. I think active participation in children’s lives and family life by a father/husband is exceedingly valuable and, hopefully, is a changing trend in society. However, it also means that compromises must be made at work, as well, to
Keith Player, MD
My family keeps me grounded and energized and give me a sense of belonging that other groups of which I am a part cannot. Simple – almost mundane – participation in family events is what is most important to me. A yearly family trip to the beach or Disney World is nice, but day-to-day involvement brings far more value – helping with homework and piano, playing in the yard, going to church, watching the children’s choirs, reading bedtime stories. It is during these times that I feel that I can most help teach and shape my children’s values and show them examples of a loving and successful marriage, much like what my parents taught me. A successful family is not without work. It involves sometimes sacrificing personal wants to spend additional time with my wife and girls. My greatest
ensure that enough time is available to spend with family. There are only twenty-four hours in a day and in our “Go! Go! Go!” society, it can be difficult to break away from work to get home. I think being part of a successful loving family helps me at work, as well. When discussing difficult medical situations and decisions with patients and their families, invariably, I am asked, “What would you do if it were your mother/father/wife/child?” I think being part of a devoted family myself gives me a sense of empathy and compassion, which helps in giving recommendations of treatment options in complicated circumstances. God has truly blessed me with a magnificent family for which I will always be grateful. I thank Him every day for that and hope that those blessings will be passed on to my children as they were to me.
Dr. Keith Player and his wife of eight years, Devin, live in Florence. They have two daughters, Ruth (7) and Helen (5). He is a general surgeon with Pee Dee Surgical Group in Florence.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 73
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74 • November 2008 • She Magazine
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10/24/08
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NOVEMBER 2008 Friends & Family features begin on page 76.
Art by Uschi Jeffcoat (www.uschijeffcoat.com)
75
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” - Jane Howard
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Ethel and older sister, Marie Hines
friends & family
At ninety-five-years-old, Ethel Saulter has spent a lifetime loving and being loved by family. by Ferebe Gasque
W
With looks and energy that belie her ninety-five years, Ethel Saulter is quite a woman. She was born in Manhattan in 1913, one of five children. Ethel’s sister, Marie (who will be 99 in December), now lives in Atlanta with her daughter. There were three boys, two of whom served in the US Military in World War II. One of her brothers was stationed in Italy, where he lost one lung and one thumb. The other was in the Philippines and contracted malaria. When Ethel was about seven-years-old, the family moved to Port Washington, where her father worked for the railroad and helped to found the Zion Baptist Church. Ethel and her siblings were all products of the Port Washington public school system. She says,“Prior to 1931, only one black person per year was graduated from Port High School.” 1931, however, produced three AfricanAmerican graduates – Ethel, her sister, Marie, and their brother, Charles. Her husband – born in Washington, DC, raised in NC, and educated at Lincoln University in Pennsylvania and came home to Port Washington, where his parents had settled – fell in love with the lovely Ethel Calvert. The feeling was mutual and it began a beautiful relationship that lasted for more than fifty years. Lloyd was unable to find a job using his Library Science degree in Port Washington, so he became a school bus driver – an occupation he enjoyed for over thirty-five years. Together, they were active in their church. Ethel directed the choir and Lloyd was later ordained as a minister. In 1960, Ethel applied for a job at Publisher’s Clearing House (yes, “You might already be a winner!”). After her initial interview, she was asked to return for her second interview with Harold Mertz, the founder of the company. She started working the very next day – the first person of color ever to be employed there. The business was just a fifteen-minute walk from the Saulter home. Sadly, at age sixty-five, Ethel was forced to retire due to a mandatory retirement policy. Soon after, however, the mandatory age was raised to seventy and Ethel returned to work. She retired again at seventy. In 1990, the mandatory retirement age was eliminated completely and, you guessed it, Ethel Saulter became an employee once more. During the interim, she had taken computer classes and fit right in to the updated technolo-
Ethel Saulter gy of the company. She retired for the third and final time at age eighty-two. When asked if Publisher’s Clearing House really does give away that money, Ethel responded, “Oh, yes! I’ve seen them do it.” When asked if you really don’t have to buy magazines to win, she again responded in the affirmative. “Once, there was a lady who won $10,000. Her husband had gotten the mail, but he had thrown the mailing in the trash. The wife got it out and mailed it in!” Ethel and Lloyd rarely missed Sunday services at their church, believing that putting God first in their lives was the most important lesson to impart to their three children. Their son, Raymond, was an engineer with the Grumman Aircraft Corporation. Unfortunately, he had a stroke at age fifty and passed away at age sixty-three. Karleyne, a Registered Nurse, worked for years in psychiatric and forensic facilities. She moved to South Carolina several years ago to work at Marlboro Park Hospital in Bennettsville. Recently, however, she returned to school to earn a degree in Mortuary Science and is currently completing a residency/internship at Hines Funeral Home. (Her mother says it’s definitely God’s hand in Karleyne’s newfound profession. She would never have imagined “my Karleyne” doing anything like embalming people.) Son, Joe, is a musician. That’s not a surprise, considering Mama Ethel studied violin, piano, organ, flute, autoharp and voice and she played violin in the Port Washington Symphony for three years. Joe is a drummer who has performed on Broadway, in a traveling cast across America with Jesus Christ Superstar and in Paris, Switzerland and Morocco. Still an avid drummer, he is now involved in research and production in the video game industry in Atlanta. For their fiftieth wedding anniversary, the Saulters celebrated with a cruise to Nassau, still the loving devoted newlyweds at heart. In 1992, walking out of church, Lloyd fell and soon died. Ethel says that when you go to church every Sunday with your husband, you never expect the next time to be following his casket into the church. Although a large part of her was missing, she understood that life is for the living. Surrounded by the loving support of family, church members and co-workers, she continued to work and to be active in her church and community.
After retirement, with her children having migrated south, Ethel joined them in 1988. When asked about some of the pros and cons of living in South Carolina, Mrs. Saulter only has positive things to say. She is much closer to her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She also says that there are many more activities available for seniors in Florence than there were in Port Washington. During the last ten years, she has volunteered in a variety of areas with a wide range of people. She has volunteered at HealthSouth Rehabilitation Hospital, North Vista Elementary School, the DHEC children’s reading program, as well as the “Meals on Wheels” program. Ethel remains an active member of the local AARP Chapter, Carolinas Active Advantage, Fitness Forum, Senior Citizen Association and the Shepherd’s Center. She is a member of RSVP, as well. She continues to enjoy music and arts and crafts. Her home is filled with projects she has completed – both at the Shepherd’s Center and other places. As her accomplished crafts, she lists oil and acrylic painting, ceramics, macramé, flower arranging, calligraphy, batik, sewing, crochet and latch hook. She has also taken classes in basket weaving, stained glass, container gardening, wreath making and scrapbooking. Not to be outdone by the younger generation and believing that one of the tricks to staying young is keeping the mind active, Mrs. Saulter has taken computer classes in Publisher, PowerPoint, Scanning, Word, Works, Windows (95, 98 and XP) and Digital Photography. She rips and burns CDs and loves to surf the Internet. Since recent cataract surgery, she has had to curtail her driving and now must depend on friends and family to transport her. Anyone who knows Ethel Saulter, however, will confirm that this bump in the road will not (in all likelihood) slow her down. In the e-mail nominating Ethel as the subject for an article in She Magazine, daughter, Karleyne, wrote, “She is beautiful, articulate, intelligent and very feisty. She drives, goes to the gym and works out every week. She does many crafts, plays the piano, is a grandmother, friend and is loved by many. People everywhere state that she is an inspiration to them.” Yes, with looks and energy that belie her ninetyfive years, Ethel Saulter is quite a woman.
Ferebe Gasque is the Music Therapist at McLeod Hospice House, a Service Coordinator with Florence County DSN Board and an Independent Consultant with the Pampered Chef ®. In her spare time, she follows orders from her feline children with whom she lives in Florence.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 77
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friends & family
Searching for Answers
A
Elsa McInville
Adoption is an extremely beautiful union of a baby to a childless couple. I was one of the fortunate to be chosen to help start my adoptive parents’ family. Afterwards, my mother had three pregnancies – two daughters and one son. Born in Penn Yann, New York, on November 30, 1951, I was adopted at five-daysold. My adoptive family and I were living in Dundee, New York, when we moved to Florence. At eight-years-old, I was told I was adopted and I have always felt so special. When I grew up, married and had my first daughter, April, I realized the importance of family heritage. I started a search for my birth mother. First, I contacted the New York State Department of Vital Statistics, only to find out that adoptions are sealed and cannot be opened. Then, I contacted the hospital where I was born and was notified that after a certain amount of years, records are destroyed. I contacted the court through which the adoption took place. No response. I joined several organizations – Alma Seekers of the Lost, Soundex Reunion, New York State Adoption Registry. Furthermore, I spoke with several adoptees who tried to give me support and help. Twenty-six years of searching but no answers. Every time I came to a dead-end, I would become depressed and stop my search for a while, only to start it back again. I realized that the only one I did not ask help from was God. He had given me a mother and father (Addison and Ruth Harrison) who loved me and a family who included me as their own. How could I be so selfish and ask God for help when He had given me so many blessings? During my search, I found out that in 1973, there were three girls and one boy born on November 30, 1951 at the hospital in which I was born. I contacted the Penn Yann Library for birth announcements. (I knew mine would not be there, but I just wanted a name – anybody’s name.) The library sent me a copy of the newspaper with the two girls born on that day – Baby Girls Flynn and Mead. At least it was a start. This was in 1996. In December 1998, I spoke with Cathi Hanlon from Monroe, New York. She was an adoptee and searcher who had asked me if I considered putting my story in the newspaper in the town where I was born. Immediately, I sent my story and it was printed the week of Christmas. The first call I received was from Vivian Flynn Jones (Baby Girl Flynn). After reading my story, she immediately notified her mother to see if she could remember anything. After forty-seven years, however, it is hard to remember a face of someone that you didn’t know. I received calls from as far away as Fort Myers, Florida, and letters from several people in Penn Yann that wanted to help me. After all the excitement came the dreaded nothing. I felt so alone again. This time, it was worse because for some reason, I felt so close. Nonetheless, I only came to another dead-end. I finally became so helpless, I asked God for His help. “God, if I’m not supposed to ever know about my birth or the people involved, please make peace and comfort in my heart. Please help me!” Soon afterwards,a dear friend and co-worker,Jan Lewis,told me about a friend of hers who had given a baby up for adoption and was notified by a searcher that her daughter was looking for her and wanted so much to meet her. She gave me the searcher’s name, tele-
phone number and her location – Brenda Craig from Roebuck, SC. I contacted Brenda immediately and from then on, there has been this spontaneous bond between us. Brenda, also an adoptee, had located her birth mother through a very intense search. She is the type of person that always keeps the trail warm no matter what dead-ends she comes up against. Her wonderful sense of humor, her precious friendship and her dedication gave me the hope and faith to continue searching. She always knew exactly what I was feeling because she had been in my shoes. Then, on March 6, 1999 – a day that I will never forget for the rest of my life – I received a letter from a very special angel. The letter had everything I had been searching for all these years except for a name or return address. I finally had my birth mother’s name, where she was from and where she had lived. I immediately called Brenda and she went right to work. She located the same last name in both of the towns that were mentioned in the letter – one of which was Dundee, New York. I told her that was where I lived before moving to South Carolina. She started her calls in Dundee, NY, where she had two numbers to call with the last name that was in the letter Brenda called later and said that she had talked to my cousin, Herb Monagan. Cousin?! I have a cousin?! All these years of searching and I finally have someone! Brenda was so thrilled. As for me, I was in severe shock. I didn’t know whether to start screaming (and scare my husband to death) or crying, laughing or jumping up and down. I said. “This must be a dream! Is this really true? Can this really be happening?” Brenda told me that Herb was waiting for me to call and he would wait up all night if he had to. Needless to say, he didn’t have to wait as long as I had waited. It was so amazing to me that the first number Brenda called was actually Herb’s mother’s house. His mother, Rose, died that morning – March 6, 1999 – at home. When I finally made the call, I was not only nervous about the call itself, I was also nervous knowing that this could have been my aunt that died the same day I received the letter. After our initial introduction on the phone, Herb explained to me that it was his mother’s wish for forty-seven years to find me. Rose was the only family member that held me when I was born. She named me and made sure I was baptized. She wanted so much to adopt me, even though she had two children of her own. You see, Rose was my birth mother’s sister-in-law – and now she was gone. I could not even talk to her or give her a hug or even to look her in her eyes to see the peace knowing that her wish had come true. My birth mother had a very traumatic experience due to my birth and because of those circumstances, her parents would not allow Rose and her husband to adopt me. This broke Rose’s heart, but she relented.
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a young Elsa
Elsa’s Birth Mom, Esther
Herb was very sad at the loss of his mother, but my call and our conversation made a very sad day a very happy one, as well. He was happy that his mother’s wish had finally come true. A little while later, Herb called back. He and his wife, Jane, pulled out some elementary year books to look for my picture. Sure enough, they found it and he called to tell me I look just like my birth mother. I was elated to know that I finally look like someone! Herb and Jane sent me some pictures of their family. The first picture was of my birth mother taken thirty-nine years ago. Words cannot express the feelings I felt when I saw this person I had imagined in my mind all these years. I knew the moment I saw the picture that it was my birth mother. There was so much resemblance, I could hardly believe it. Herb wrote to his aunt (my birth mother) who lives in Texas about the death of his mother and to inform her of the surprise of me. The response was not one that I had dreamed of, but with the trauma that she went through, I can
an. e! to nd n-
understand. I may never get to meet her or talk to her, but I can give her the
all It hnI us et-
25, 1999. As expected, this was a very emotional and beautiful day. The first two
as er he
. I ee unts he
greatest gift a daughter can give a mother (she never had any more children after my birth). I can pray for the healing of her heart and soul – not for me, but for her – that she may have peace in her life with herself and with God. The long-awaited reunion took place at our home in Florence on April hours were spent in tears of joy and sadness that Rose could not be with us, but we all agreed that she was with us in spirit. The rest of this beautiful day was spent getting to know each other and giving lots of hugs. My husband and I attended a memorial service for Rose which was held on May 22, 1999 in Dundee, New York. She came from a very large family and all of her family knew how much she wanted to find me. They were so excited that her wish came true. I know that God has given Rose peace and joy in her heart. In recognition of this month’s issue of She Magazine’s theme – “Friends and Family” – I wish to thank my family, my adopted family and my friends that kept my spirits up when I reached so many dead-ends. I probably would have given up my search a long time ago if it had not been for all the support. Thanks to each of you for helping me learn about my family heritage.
Elsa McInville lives in Florence with her husband, Mac. They have three daughters, Dana, Deanna and Dena and six grandchildren.
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friends & family
A Cup of Joe and Jesus by Cookie Cawthon
T
The yummy aroma of freshly brewed coffee blankets the conversation, wrapping each in comfort and familiarity. It’s the scent of their friendship. Yvonne Rhodes savors a good cup of joe. So does Linda Spurling. And they happen to enjoy it even more if they’re sitting together,“waxing philosophical” as they sip. The exchange will assuredly contain laughter – lots of it. It’s the music of their friendship. And they will invariably swap details about the lives of their children and grandchildren, remember a funny from long ago, and giggle some more. If either is weathering a personal storm, they may split a box of Kleenex and humbly and honestly petition their Father together. He’s the glue of their friendship. They’ve been at this for twenty-three years now – with no end in sight… Yvonne and Linda’s friendship was born out of the connection of a mutual friend, Joye Rich, in 1985. Linda was pregnant with her youngest child, Mandy, at the time, and their older children were the same ages. They quickly discovered their shared love for Jesus, good coffee, full-bodied laughter, and their families. They also bonded over their plight as “Yankees” in the deeply Southern Pee Dee (Yvonne having lived in Maryland, Florida, New Jersey, Ohio, and Arizona; Linda hailing from New York). Neither could have known what mourning and mirth the future would bring… Linda lost her son, TJ, in an automobile accident in 1996. Yvonne “was there!!! Just there!!! Always loyal; always encouraging. Never critical, never instructional (you should do this, you should do that) and ALWAYS praying for me and with me,” shares Linda. During this season of loss, Yvonne observed in awe as she saw the love of God pour out on Linda and that love pour out of Linda to others. “When TJ died, I went to her home, hundreds of people came by – she comforted them! Only God could give a person that type of love. In the saddest
Yvonne Rhodes & Linda Spurling week of her life, she still ministered to others. Her faith has been strong; she doesn’t complain, and she has a smile and a hug for anyone that needs it. Such selflessness is beyond me; she’s my hero,” says Yvonne. Together they have mourned TJ, Linda’s divorce, and the death of her parents. Yvonne was there for Linda. Some of Linda’s favorite memories of Yvonne were when she persevered to complete her college degree with three young children; at times it was so difficult, but she proceeded with determination. Linda has been there for Yvonne. “No one has a shoulder to lean on like Linda. She has the best cups of coffee. Her spare bedroom is always available for a weeping friend. She has encouraged me, lifted me up to the Lord, and listened when I needed a friend,” Yvonne confides. But joy did come in the morning, and they have continued to bring joy to each other for two and a half decades. That joy most often comes in the form of doubled-over laughter – “healing laughter.” Linda grins as she is flooded by comical memories;“[t]here’s a million funny stories… because together we are funny, almost like “stand up” comedy…except Yvonne has to stand on a chair! Ha! Ha!” (Yvonne measures in at a little under five feet). Others have often received the benefit of their collective sense of humor – like when they taught eleventh and twelfth grade Sunday School with Michael Altman for six or so years. “The stories those students could tell you would curl your hair.” For instance, one day the three teachers built a pyramid as a lesson illustration; Linda and Yvonne were the base while Michael was the top (and there is a picture to prove this feat!). They also embarked on a mission trip to Buffalo and Niagara Falls (Linda served as translator for the Southerners and the Yanks) in 1997 which is remembered as a complete hoot. It was about a year after the death of Linda’s son,and Yvonne stuck to her to ensure that she laughed her way through the whole week.
Linda works at The King’s Academy. Yvonne teaches at Wilson High School. One year two of Linda’s colleagues from TKA went to work at Wilson. The two ladies stood chatting in the hall during their first week of work. One asked the other,“Have you met Linda’s friend who works here?” The other replied that she had not about that time a janitor’s cart was making its way down the hall with a lady riding on it. They both chuckled and nodded, “That’s GOT to be Linda’s friend!!” they agreed in unison. For the past five or more years, Yvonne and Linda have conducted women’s Bible study groups. Linda is the hostess, and Yvonne is the teacher. And they so profoundly appreciate and admire the gifts of the other. Yvonne lauds Linda as the consummate hostess – splendid cook who radiates hospitality. Linda extols Yvonne’s giftedness as a teacher: her intellect, her vitality, and her godly wisdom. They make a great team! There’s isn’t a friendship that has to be characterized by spending a lot of time together. They are busy ladies. Yvonne has a growing family that she enjoys doting on (Gerald – husband of 37 years; her children - Jerry, Crystal, and Gina; and her grandchildren – Reed, Addie, Ryan, JD, and Trey). Linda is very dedicated to her daughters Alicia and Mandy, and she calls her grandchildren,Alex and Kirsten, the joy of her heart. Though they may not hang out all that often, together they both hang on to Him. “We love Jesus!!!!!” Yvonne exclaims. “We both know that we would be nothing without Him.” And they both credit Him for the gift of their friendship. “My Abba is so very good to me. He blesses me with wonderful friends and Yvonne is one of them. She brings to my life characteristics of Jesus and much, much love from my Heavenly Father.” A cup of joe and Jesus – the makings of a longstanding friendship!
n Cookie Cawthon is honored to be wife and mother to her family, is totally excited about NewSpring Church – Florence and enjoys blogging at www.cookiecawthon.com.
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10/23/08
9:32 AM
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 81
When you’re looking for the very Best... Carpet • Tile & Stone • Wood Laminate • Cabinets Counter Tops • Area Rugs Wall Coverings
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843.669.1851 Monday-Friday 8-6 • Saturday 9-1
10/27/08
9:23 AM
Page 1
friends & family
Keeping the Faith After finding out that she had a tumor on her brain, Sheila Jordan learned that her faith, a positive attitude and the love of friends and family would see her though the tough times that lay ahead. by Judy Floyd Smith
I
In the spring of 2008, Sheila Jordan developed headaches that progressed to excruciating pressure in her head. In addition to the pain, she had moments of confusion and memory loss. Sheila realized that something was wrong but couldn’t isolate a cause or pattern to the symptoms. This was both frightening and puzzling to this mother of two small children. One day in April, Sheila recalls becoming very confused and disoriented. “I wasn’t sure where I was and became more confused about where I was going. I thought I might be having a stroke. My face felt as if it was falling on one side. I looked in the mirror and could see no physical change in my facial features, but the sensation that something was happening remained,” Sheila recalls. Afraid and confused, she called a friend and former business associate, Dr. Kevin Sattele. When Sheila explained her symptoms, he directed her to stay where she was. While on the phone, Dr. Sattele’s sister and Sheila’s friend, Kelly, beeped in calling to invite Sheila to join her for lunch. She realized right away that something was terribly wrong and immediately drove to the salon where Sheila works. There, she found Sheila in her car and realized that she didn’t know quite where she was and was unable to figure out how to get out of the car. Kelly immediately called her brother and told him what she was witnessing and he advised her to take Sheila directly to the hospital emergency room. Sheila spent several days in the hospital where Drs. Booth and Farrell diagnosed her with Acoustic Neuroma, a benign tumor on the brain. She would later make a decision to go to MUSC in Charleston for further tests. Once there, she learned that the tumor was connected to her facial and auditory nerves. The doctors explained that it may have been growing for four or five years and would require surgery for its removal. After consulting with neurosurgeon, Dr. Patel, and Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist, Dr. Lambert, a surgery date – June 30th – was set. “They told me it would likely take ten hours and I was very concerned about the outcome and for my small children,” Sheila explains. Before returning home that evening, Sheila’s husband, Jay, wanted to take her out to dinner. They chose Hyman’s Seafood Restaurant, a well-known estab-
photo by Collin M. Smith
82
Sheila Jordan pictured with her husband, Jay, daughter, Chandler and son, Cameron.
The Jordan Family lishment in the heart of downtown Charleston. While there, Sheila noticed a frame on the door of the ladies’ room that read,“Hyman’s Seafood Motto.” As she began reading its message, she was “very moved and inspired.” “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day, regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past.We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have – and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you – we are in charge of our ATTITUDES.” - Pastor and Author of “Attitude,” Chuck Swindoll Sheila and Jay returned home and she went back to work the next day. She also began making plans for how to manage the situation she was facing. Sheila says, “It was Friday the 13th of June and standing at my chair in the salon, I said a prayer seeking answers from God and asking for the strength to deal with whatever I was facing. The pain in my head was horrible and I knew at that point that I couldn’t go on like that. I was unable to focus on my work and I felt that I couldn’t properly take care of my children.” Sheila believes God answered her prayer when about ten minutes later, she received a call from MUSC. Her doctors in Charleston were able to clear an earlier date on their calendars and the surgery was moved up to June 16th. Upon receiving word that the surgery had been moved up, Sheila, Jay, their children and the remaining members of their immediate family packed up and left for Charleston. “We wanted the children with us and we also wanted them to be surrounded by family members who could make their stay as normal and as much fun as possible. We settled in at our motel and prepared for the
long ordeal of the next day. On the morning of my surgery, Reverend Robert Griggs was waiting on me at the hospital. Reverend Griggs has been a part of my life since childhood; he was my school principal, my pastor and a mentor to me throughout my childhood, youth and into adulthood. I felt such peace and comfort in his presence. I knew everything was going to be alright.” The surgery was long and tedious, but successful. Sheila was told that a full recovery would require extended rehabilitation that could last up to eight months. The surgery left her totally deaf in her left ear and with a ten-percent hearing loss in her right ear. As a result, she had to learn to balance herself and to walk again. “I was determined to succeed. The Lord brought me this far, surely I could move forward from this point and return to a normal life with my family. Instead of just walking down the corridor of the hospital with my physical therapist, I asked if I could climb the stairs in the stairwell. I knew that if I could balance myself stepping up and down that I would certainly be able to learn to walk again.” Sheila left MUSC after a few days to recuperate at home in Lynchburg. Surrounded by her husband and their two children, Chandler (5) and Cameron (4); her parents and her husband’s parents; her family and friends, she made a miraculous recovery. With a positive attitude, a strong faith and determination, Sheila returned to full-time work in her salon within six weeks. She remains grateful to all her friends and family who made phone calls, visits, brought gifts and faithfully kept her in their prayers. “I am especially thankful for my physicians, Drs. Booth, Farrell, Patel and Lambert, for their loving care and professional expertise. I appreciate so much Dr. Sattele and Kelly for coming to my rescue in an urgent time of need. I want to thank Reverend Burton Welsh and the wonderful people of the Sardis Baptist Church in my community for sending cards, telephone calls and for their prayers. To all my family and friends, thank you all for your loving support during this difficult time in my life. I thank God for His hand in this and in all of my life. Always keep the faith.”
Judy Floyd Smith is employed by Florence School District One as an Assistant Director for Special Needs at the Florence Career Center. She has been a professional educator for the past 36 years primarily working with special populations. Judy hasf two grown sons, Robbie (Mary) age 37, and Kevin, age 32, and the grandmother of Amy and David. She enjoys good literature, writing, and music and is a life long member of Central United Methodist Church.
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10/22/08
10:16 AM
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 83
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Page 1
friends & family
A View from the Middle
Collin M. Smith Photography
84-85
By Laura Anderson
G
Laura Anderson
Diane Cynthia Poston
SISTERS
Growing up as the middle sister, I constantly felt like I was competing for both of my
knew I was younger than she was and that made me angry because I felt like she was the
So
sisters’ love and attention. I also felt like I was competing with them for the love, attention,
leader and I wanted to be the leader. Nonetheless, I looked up to Cynthia because she
ica
praise and approval of our parents. Luckily for the three of us, our parents loved us equally,
was very smart and an excellent student in school. That encouraged me to also do my
mo
encouraging us to grow into the women we are today. We had challenging times just like most
best in school. We both went on to finish college and from there, we took on the world.
families, but our parents held on to their faith and each other. They worked hard, loved strong-
Cynthia was the best role model a sister could ever have.
yo
ly and sacrificed so that we could get our educations and grow up to become women of faith.
When Cynthia was a little girl, she loved playing with dolls and dressing them up
My
I was physically taller and stronger than my sisters were and I’m afraid (at times) I was
and taking very good care of them. Her dolls wore matching clothes and she made sure
Di
quite demanding – to put it mildly! Usually being the one who got us all in trouble, I remem-
they were neatly groomed and clean. As she became a little older, she enjoyed playing
ha
ber receiving the most discipline because I was stronger-natured than Cynthia and our younger
with Barbie Dolls and dressing them up to be most glamorous. One Christmas, she
sister, Diane. Nevertheless, our childhood was filled with fun and learning in the early years
received a tiny pink Singer sewing machine that had a small turning wheel on it. When
er,
and going to church and Sunday school. We also learned about working hard and putting forth
she learned to sew on that little machine, she made lots of clothes for her dolls. In jun-
ab
our best efforts to use our God-given talents, gifts and abilities.
ior high school, she took a home economics class where she learned more about sewing
he
Growing up on a farm, we had plenty of countryside to run and explore. Endless
for real and eventually made clothes of her own. Cynthia became an excellent designer
treasure hunts in the forest produced small, clear rocks that became the biggest diamonds ever.
and seamstress. She worked part-time in high school at a couple clothing stores and
fri
Our childhood was an adventure most of the time (except when we had to be quiet in church).
learned a lot through those experiences. By the time she began attending college, she
Di
When we were not on exploration adventures and treasure hunts, we were busy
knew that she loved working with fashion, clothes and people; therefore, she pursued a
ap
career in Business/Marketing and Fashion Merchandising.
te
making mud pies, riding bicycles, playing doctors/nurses and playing with baby dolls and Barbie Dolls.
We played lots of games including Trouble, Sorry, Masterpiece, Monopoly and
Watching Cynthia’s business (CYNTHIA, ladies fine apparel and shoes) grow
Operation. We had lots of pets over the years including dogs, cats, fish, turtles, birds, squirrels,
from a tiny shop in her dining room to the beautiful store on Hoffmeyer Road is truly
on
ponies and various other wildlife that we “rescued.” We played school and office, getting into
reflective of the awesome things God can do when a precious heart is dedicated to Him
gra
our dad’s papers and office supplies because we wanted it to be like him.
and His service. Over the years, I always felt Cynthia was gifted and talented in fashion
Co
We had an old piano which was given to us by our paternal grandparents. Cynthia
and watching her business grow through the challenges and obstacles has been truly won-
ye
and I both took piano lessons for several years. We grew to love music and singing; therefore,
derful. I am most proud of my big sister because her faith in God shines through her life
ou
we had plenty of concerts. Sometimes, we would sing Christian songs and other times, it would
by following the example of Jesus – Who loved and served others – by offering the best
be rock and roll or country.
and highest quality personal service to everyone who enters her doors. I admire Cynthia
te
the most for not giving up when critical challenges have come along in her life. Through
fo
her faith, patience and courage, she has persevered to be a true success in her business.
mo
We were given the top floor in the old barn to “decorate” and make into our playhouse. That was fun! We thought about trying to be Mary Poppins and use an umbrella to fly out from the second floor. We all chickened out with the umbrella, but we did decide to hold a large sheet up and make a parachute instead.
When Cynthia lost her only son, Travis, it was the most difficult circumstance I
ab
have ever seen her face. She held on to her faith in God and humbly prayed for His guid-
be
Our dad gave us an old tobacco stand which had monkey bars. We would rock it
ance, strength and protection, which He faithfully gave to her. She knew God was faith-
be
back and forth with the right amount of swaying and pulling. Before we knew it, we were on
ful, just and good, but she also knew that sometimes He allows adversity and suffering in
a pirate ship and the ocean was ours. We would give you a “rocket ride” on that ship by let-
our lives for His purposes. Those purposes may not be revealed to us during the midst
th
ting you hold the lower bar at ground level and once we rocked up, you would go flying in the
of our deepest pain and heartache, but God promises to never leave or forsake us.
ma
air like a torpedo missile.
Cynthia knew that God loved us so much that He gave His Only Son, Jesus, to die, so that
ou
We also loved to climb trees and our dad made us a special swing that he put in one
we might be saved. God promises to comfort and sustain us during difficult times and,
of the large pine trees. We would swing so high it felt like we could actually reach out and
often, He carries us until we can proceed again. Cynthia’s strength and courage has been
mo
touch the Milky Way.
– and still is – truly amazing, which is what God does for us when we trust in Him and His
wh
love to sustain, heal and make us whole.
of
Playing dress-up with Mama’s dresses, hats, gloves, jewelry, shoes and pocketbooks we would pretend to be fabulous movie stars such as Zsa Zsa Gabor from Green Acres, Miss Kitty
I have been able to use my education and skills to help Cynthia as I work
from Gunsmoke, Doris Day, Lucille Ball and Julie Andrews, as well as princesses like Cinderella
in her business and that has been very rewarding. To be able to work for Cynthia is
and Snow White.
a tremendous blessing in so many ways and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for
My first memories of my big sister, Cynthia, were of us growing up together and being
allowing us the privilege and opportunity to help each other be a blessing to others.
constantly close by one another’s side. I would describe Cynthia’s personality as smart, fun and
Working for my big sister sometimes feels like we are little girls again and that makes
creative, but also very calm, wise and gentle. I was quite the opposite – brave and daring. I
me very happy. We have had our “Oops!” and “Uh-oh!” moments. (continued)
he
10/27/08
1:14 PM
Page 1
friends & family
A View from the Middle
Collin M. Smith Photography
84-85
By Laura Anderson
G
Laura Anderson
Diane Cynthia Poston
SISTERS
Growing up as the middle sister, I constantly felt like I was competing for both of my
knew I was younger than she was and that made me angry because I felt like she was the
So
sisters’ love and attention. I also felt like I was competing with them for the love, attention,
leader and I wanted to be the leader. Nonetheless, I looked up to Cynthia because she
ica
praise and approval of our parents. Luckily for the three of us, our parents loved us equally,
was very smart and an excellent student in school. That encouraged me to also do my
mo
encouraging us to grow into the women we are today. We had challenging times just like most
best in school. We both went on to finish college and from there, we took on the world.
families, but our parents held on to their faith and each other. They worked hard, loved strong-
Cynthia was the best role model a sister could ever have.
yo
ly and sacrificed so that we could get our educations and grow up to become women of faith.
When Cynthia was a little girl, she loved playing with dolls and dressing them up
My
I was physically taller and stronger than my sisters were and I’m afraid (at times) I was
and taking very good care of them. Her dolls wore matching clothes and she made sure
Di
quite demanding – to put it mildly! Usually being the one who got us all in trouble, I remem-
they were neatly groomed and clean. As she became a little older, she enjoyed playing
ha
ber receiving the most discipline because I was stronger-natured than Cynthia and our younger
with Barbie Dolls and dressing them up to be most glamorous. One Christmas, she
sister, Diane. Nevertheless, our childhood was filled with fun and learning in the early years
received a tiny pink Singer sewing machine that had a small turning wheel on it. When
er,
and going to church and Sunday school. We also learned about working hard and putting forth
she learned to sew on that little machine, she made lots of clothes for her dolls. In jun-
ab
our best efforts to use our God-given talents, gifts and abilities.
ior high school, she took a home economics class where she learned more about sewing
he
Growing up on a farm, we had plenty of countryside to run and explore. Endless
for real and eventually made clothes of her own. Cynthia became an excellent designer
treasure hunts in the forest produced small, clear rocks that became the biggest diamonds ever.
and seamstress. She worked part-time in high school at a couple clothing stores and
fri
Our childhood was an adventure most of the time (except when we had to be quiet in church).
learned a lot through those experiences. By the time she began attending college, she
Di
When we were not on exploration adventures and treasure hunts, we were busy
knew that she loved working with fashion, clothes and people; therefore, she pursued a
ap
career in Business/Marketing and Fashion Merchandising.
te
making mud pies, riding bicycles, playing doctors/nurses and playing with baby dolls and Barbie Dolls.
We played lots of games including Trouble, Sorry, Masterpiece, Monopoly and
Watching Cynthia’s business (CYNTHIA, ladies fine apparel and shoes) grow
Operation. We had lots of pets over the years including dogs, cats, fish, turtles, birds, squirrels,
from a tiny shop in her dining room to the beautiful store on Hoffmeyer Road is truly
on
ponies and various other wildlife that we “rescued.” We played school and office, getting into
reflective of the awesome things God can do when a precious heart is dedicated to Him
gra
our dad’s papers and office supplies because we wanted it to be like him.
and His service. Over the years, I always felt Cynthia was gifted and talented in fashion
Co
We had an old piano which was given to us by our paternal grandparents. Cynthia
and watching her business grow through the challenges and obstacles has been truly won-
ye
and I both took piano lessons for several years. We grew to love music and singing; therefore,
derful. I am most proud of my big sister because her faith in God shines through her life
ou
we had plenty of concerts. Sometimes, we would sing Christian songs and other times, it would
by following the example of Jesus – Who loved and served others – by offering the best
be rock and roll or country.
and highest quality personal service to everyone who enters her doors. I admire Cynthia
te
the most for not giving up when critical challenges have come along in her life. Through
fo
her faith, patience and courage, she has persevered to be a true success in her business.
mo
We were given the top floor in the old barn to “decorate” and make into our playhouse. That was fun! We thought about trying to be Mary Poppins and use an umbrella to fly out from the second floor. We all chickened out with the umbrella, but we did decide to hold a large sheet up and make a parachute instead.
When Cynthia lost her only son, Travis, it was the most difficult circumstance I
ab
have ever seen her face. She held on to her faith in God and humbly prayed for His guid-
be
Our dad gave us an old tobacco stand which had monkey bars. We would rock it
ance, strength and protection, which He faithfully gave to her. She knew God was faith-
be
back and forth with the right amount of swaying and pulling. Before we knew it, we were on
ful, just and good, but she also knew that sometimes He allows adversity and suffering in
a pirate ship and the ocean was ours. We would give you a “rocket ride” on that ship by let-
our lives for His purposes. Those purposes may not be revealed to us during the midst
th
ting you hold the lower bar at ground level and once we rocked up, you would go flying in the
of our deepest pain and heartache, but God promises to never leave or forsake us.
ma
air like a torpedo missile.
Cynthia knew that God loved us so much that He gave His Only Son, Jesus, to die, so that
ou
We also loved to climb trees and our dad made us a special swing that he put in one
we might be saved. God promises to comfort and sustain us during difficult times and,
of the large pine trees. We would swing so high it felt like we could actually reach out and
often, He carries us until we can proceed again. Cynthia’s strength and courage has been
mo
touch the Milky Way.
– and still is – truly amazing, which is what God does for us when we trust in Him and His
wh
love to sustain, heal and make us whole.
of
Playing dress-up with Mama’s dresses, hats, gloves, jewelry, shoes and pocketbooks we would pretend to be fabulous movie stars such as Zsa Zsa Gabor from Green Acres, Miss Kitty
I have been able to use my education and skills to help Cynthia as I work
from Gunsmoke, Doris Day, Lucille Ball and Julie Andrews, as well as princesses like Cinderella
in her business and that has been very rewarding. To be able to work for Cynthia is
and Snow White.
a tremendous blessing in so many ways and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for
My first memories of my big sister, Cynthia, were of us growing up together and being
allowing us the privilege and opportunity to help each other be a blessing to others.
constantly close by one another’s side. I would describe Cynthia’s personality as smart, fun and
Working for my big sister sometimes feels like we are little girls again and that makes
creative, but also very calm, wise and gentle. I was quite the opposite – brave and daring. I
me very happy. We have had our “Oops!” and “Uh-oh!” moments. (continued)
he
84-85
10/27/08
1:14 PM
Page 2
Left to right: Cynthia, Laura and Diane
Left to right: Robin Lawrimore Coleson, (a childhood friend) poses with with Laura and Cynthia
The Grove The Inn on Harlee–Marion, SC
he
Some days, we have honestly been challenging as we both are very strong-willed and ded-
he
icated. Nonetheless, we have managed to learn to appreciate the best in each other and
my
move forward with resolve.
ld.
When my younger sister, Diane, was born, I was a one-year-old. Although I was very young at the time, I imagine I was happy and excited to have another sister to play with.
up
My relationship with Diane was different from Cynthia in that I could usually persuade
re
Diane to do more things with me because she saw me as the leader. That made me
ng
happy because it was my turn to be the leader and that’s what I wanted.
he
Humorous, witty and smart, yet also calm and tender-hearted and a true peacemak-
en
er, Diane developed great communication and negotiation skills, which showed up in her
n-
ability to be effective with student council government and various officer positions in
ng
her class.
er
She had many friends in school and I sometimes felt like I had to compete to be her
nd
friend. As I look back now, I realize that I didn’t have to compete with anyone because
he
Diane was my sister and my friend. As we grow older, I recognize just how much I
a
appreciate and value her as a true friend today. I am so thankful that she is my little sister.
ow
Diane went on to graduate from college with a degree in Psychology. She continued
uly
on to receive her Master’s Degree and has participated in continuing education pro-
m
grams in order to stay on top of her field of expertise. Today, Diane is the Guidance
on
Counselor for District Five at Johnsonville High School, where she has worked for many
n-
years. She has dedicated her life to providing the encouragement, strength and guidance
ife
our young people need during one of the most critical times in their lives.
est
Now that we are all grown up, I believe I am happier than ever to be the middle sis-
hia
ter because we have walked through life together helping one another and being there
gh
for each other, encouraging and assisting each other at a moment’s notice. We’ve shared
s.
motherhood together, which enabled me to be a good mom. I know that I have become
eI
a better person by the positive influence from both my sisters. The bond that exists
d-
between the three of us is strong and gentle, safe and loving. We are closer than ever
h-
before.
in
June 2002, I was in a horrible car accident that nearly took my life. If it were not for
dst
the love and help of my family, friends and, of course, my dear sisters, I wouldn’t have
us.
made it through the long and difficult road to recovery. I thank God for all my family, all
hat
our many blessings and I give all praise, glory and honor to Him.
nd,
My life has been truly blessed by having my two sisters and I look forward to the
en
moments when we can share quality time with each other as grown women – just like
His
when we were little girls. Our love and strength for each other have endured the test of time, which brings to mind a song from long ago, “Blessed be the tie that binds our
rk
hearts in Christian love . . .”
is
or
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es
Laura Anderson is the Office Manager for CYNTHIA – ladies fine apparel and shoes. She resides in Johnsonville, where she enjoys golfing, tennis, horseback riding, canoeing and the great outdoors. She has one beautiful daughter, Audrey Lauren Anderson, who resides with her father in Tennessee.
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friends & family
A Family’s Prayers Answered by Leesa Infinger
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My 19-year-old daughter, Paige, had just completed her first year at Florence-Darlington Technical College when she started complaining of a headache. She had never had a headache before in her life. I thought she was probably just stressed after finishing final exams. Also, she was awaiting an interview to see when she could get into the respiratory therapy program. She received notification that her interview would be on June 5th. After the interview, she seemed really down because they told her there was a waiting list and it would be the fall of 2009 before she could begin the program. She also said that her head was hurting worse. I scheduled a doctor’s appointment for that Friday. The next morning, she told me that she vomited during the night and her head was hurting worse. Instead of waiting, we were at the doctor’s office when it opened. She was given a shot for pain and nausea. The staff told me to watch her for any changes and that an MRI was scheduled for the following Monday. They thought, however, it was a simply a new onset of a migraine. I took her home and she went to sleep. Later, when I got home from work, she was continuing to vomit but said her head didn’t hurt anymore. That night, she got in bed with me. She woke up and said her head was hurting again and she was going to take a shower to see if she would feel better. She didn’t feel better, so I called the doctor. He said that we should go to the emergency room because she may need a CT or MRI just to make sure nothing was going on, but (again) it probably was just a migraine headache. In the McLeod ER, the doctor asked general questions, “Have you had your eyes checked? Have you ever suffered from migraines?” I informed him that we spoke to our family physician and he suggested that we come to the emergency room because he thought Paige needed a CT or an MRI. A CT was ordered. When Paige returned from having the CT, I knew something was wrong because it was written all over the tech’s face. I asked,“Something’s wrong, isn’t it?” She said the doctor would be speak with me in just a minute. I asked if I had time to take Paige’s pocketbook to the car. She stated yes and I proceeded to my car, all the while breaking down and calling her daddy to tell him that he and her brother, Bane, needed to come to the hospital.
Paige Infinger pictured above after undergoing surgery to repair a brain bleed and left, with her mom, Leesa, dad,Willie and brother, Bane.
The Infinger Family I prayed, got myself together and went back in to be with Paige. I asked if she understood what was happening and that she would possibly have to have surgery. I told her that we had given her to God as a little baby and that He still loved her and was going to be there with her all the way. She said, “Mama, things are going to be alright and I know God is with me.” The ER doctor said that she had a very large brain bleed and he had called in Dr. Naso, a neurosurgeon, because Paige would probably need to go to surgery that day. After Dr. Naso’s examination, he told me that Paige had a very large bleed and because he didn’t know the reason, she needed to go to surgery NOW because her brain was swelling and shifting. People from all over the world were praying for her. Family and friends came as we waited for over three hours while Paige was in surgery. Finally, we were able to see the doctor and he told us that her surgery went well, but she was critical and the next few days would be crucial. Paige’s diagnosis was an Arteriovenous Malformation* (AVM), but he still didn’t know about an underlying tumor that was found, so he had done a biopsy. We would have to wait on those results. He told us to be prepared to see tubes when we saw Paige and that she would be on a ventilator. All I wanted to do was see her. It seemed like an eternity waiting on her to come from recovery. Finally, we could tell that they were setting her room up and I thought I heard Paige. I was reminded that she wouldn’t be talking while on the ventilator. We continued to hear laughter and about that time, I heard the nurse ask, “Do you know what your name is?” I heard the sweetest voice say, “Paige,” and she spelled her name loudly. It was a miracle! I can’t even tell you the joy that I felt. I thanked God that my baby could talk! When we were able to see Paige, she was not on a ventilator. She was talking a-mile-a-minute,with no confusion. We were all amazed; the nurses had to keep reminding us that she was critical. Furthermore,the results of the biopsy came back as negative and Paige was moved to a regular room. The physical therapist came to take her for assessment. When he brought her back,he said she didn’t need therapy because she was doing great.
On Friday, June 13th (our lucky day), Paige was discharged from the hospital. I was just as excited to bring her home that day as I was the day we brought her home from the hospital after she was born. Late Saturday afternoon, she said she was going to church on Sunday. I told her she couldn’t because the doctors said she needed to rest. She said,“Well, I am going. Number one, how can I not go for what God did for me? Number two, it’s Father’s Day and I’m going with my daddy and, number three, I want people to see a miracle.” How could I argue with that? She went to church and I believe she was a blessing to all. The Tuesday after Paige was discharged, she received a call from FDTC. She had been bumped up and was going to be able to start the respiratory care program in August 2008 instead of the fall 2009. She was so excited and it gave her a push to get stronger. The doctors told us to go ahead as planned; so, on August 18th, Paige started the program. She said that maybe God was going to use her in her work and when a family was given no hope, she could tell them,“My parents were told that, but look at me now!” Since our family has experienced this miracle, we don’t take any day for granted. We don’t sweat the big or little things because we know that someone greater is in control. Our family has always believed in the power of prayer, but this experience has taught us more about praising God and sharing our testimony so that others may be encouraged. Our family is treating each day as truly a new day. I want to end by saying that I give God all the praise and glory for what He has done. If you have been seeking something that you feel is missing in your life, God can fill the void. Get involved in church and form relationships with Christian friends. I promise that if you give your heart to Jesus, your life is guaranteed to change and you will look back and wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. There are a lot of people hurting in our world, but there is hope with God. “Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory” (Revelation 19:7). (*) Arteriovenous Malformations (AVMs) are defects of the circulatory system that are generally believed to arise during embryonic or fetal development or soon after birth. They are comprised of snarled tangles of arteries and veins. Arteries carry oxygen-rich blood away from the heart to the body’s cells; veins return oxygen-depleted blood to the lungs and heart. The presence of an AVM disrupts this vital cyclical process. Although AVMs can develop in many different sites, those located in the brain or spinal cord – the two parts of the central nervous system – can have especially widespread effects on the body.
Leesa Infinger and her husband of 25 years, Willie, reside in Scranton, SC. She is the Benefits Coordinator for Lake City Community Hospital and Willie is a Senior Supervisor at Nan-Ya Plastics. Paige is presently enrolled in FDTC in the Respiratory Program and Bane is a junior at Carolina Academy. The family attends Lake City Pentecostal Holiness Church.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 87
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friends & family Neva Wysong
Donna Crane
Kenyon Powers
Kenyon Powers
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Leaving Friends and Family Behind
Did you know there are three Florence women serving as missionaries in Kiev, Ukraine? The three of us ladies met each other about eleven years ago in Florence. All of us had a connection to the former Soviet Union, so we hit it off immediately. Now, we’re all in Kiev, Ukraine, together. It’s great having three families from Florence here. It’s a special bond we share that not many other missionaries have. We’re not exactly family, but the Florence connection makes us feel that way. Here’s little about the three of us and our missions. Donna and her husband, Jeff, and five of their six children moved to Kiev in August 2007. They have been studying Russian since they got here and will continue for years to come. It’s not a language you just “pick up.” Donna is involved in orphan ministry, which is something very dear to her heart, especially since she adopted three of her children from Russia. She is always looking to share God’s love with these children or just hold or rock a little one who doesn’t get held much. Since she is a nurse and Jeff is a doctor, she also wants to be a part of ministering to those in the medical field along with her husband. Neva, her husband, Dai, and their three children moved to Kiev in July of 1999. They had been missionaries in Russia years before but had moved back to Florence. They still had a place in their hearts for this part of the world, so they joined us in ministry here. She, too, works in orphan ministry and, as a result, they adopted a young boy into their family. Neva also plays a big part in Kiev Christian Academy – our school for missionary kids where her husband is Headmaster. She teaches some classes and supports her husband in this vital part of the missionary community. Now, about me. My husband, Timmy, our three children and I moved to Kiev in 1998. During these ten years, we have been involved in evangelism, disciple making and church planting. I have especially enjoyed opening
my home to feed the multitudes, introducing Ukrainians to iced tea, brownies and English with a southern accent. Since this month’s theme of She Magazine is “Friends and Family,” as missionaries, we knew that we had a little something to say about missing friends and family. There are many tough things about being missionaries in a foreign country, but the toughest thing of all is leaving friends and family behind. We think about those who have gone before us long ago as missionaries and how (for some of them) it was the last time they saw their family and friends. Well, at least we don’t have it that bad, but it’s still hard to be so far away from those we love. We’re thankful for today’s technologies that keep us in touch. I love using the webcam; it’s the next best thing to being there. Nonetheless, nothing is like really being with your friends and family. When we get to come home, it is very special to be with everyone. We have such quality time together. My husband and I are both Florence natives and our families are all still living in Florence, so we don’t have to spend all our time traveling to different places. We now have two sons living back in the States and our daughter is a senior. Soon, we’ll be emptynesters. Boy! Talk about missing family! It doesn’t get any worse than this for me. I had managed over the years until my children started leaving me. I guess it’s payback time for what we did to our families. As I said before, we sure do have some good times when we are together. Absence has made this heart grow fonder – and to think I thought I was as fond of my children as I could be already! Take it from me; you never realize what you’ve got until it’s gone. Time flies by, so please take time for friends and family whenever you get the chance. Don’t take them for granted.
have been hearing for years, “You should write a book!”
On another note, after telling people in America
your building. I’ve also noticed stickers in some elevators
about something crazy that happened to me in Ukraine, I
n
Well, after being told this so many times, I decided to do it! I’ve written about funny or unusual experiences – not to offend the Ukrainian people, but to share how God has allowed me to live cross-culturally without losing my mind. Finding the humor in life is the best way for me to deal with it. Do we really know why we do the things we do? Not always; it’s just a part of our culture and that’s the way we do it. Here are a couple of excerpts from my book, The Lighter Side of a Serious Mission, for you to enjoy. From the chapter, “Lost in Translation,” once I asked for a bag of flour and, apparently, my pronunciation was a little off. I know this because the clerk gave me a strange look and repeated the word back to me. I’m thinking, “Isn’t that what I said?” but apparently not. This look and repeating what I had just said was a common event in my daily life. This time, however, instead of asking for flour, I had mistakenly asked for a bag of torture. Little did she know that I was already being tortured and just wanted a bag of flour. From the chapter, “European” (you’re a peein’ alright!), whenever we would see a puddle in our apartment building elevator, I immediately warned the kids that this was no ordinary puddle. Now, I know you’re thinking, “No way! Gross!” But, yes, it’s true. People will just come in off the street and use your building’s elevator as a toilet. I’ve even seen worse in the stairwells. Now, a lot of apartment buildings have entrance doors that can only be opened with a code. Many apartments have residents who take shifts as hired guards to keep out those who would do such things and others that have no business in that read, “This is not a toilet.”
You can find The Lighter Side of a Serious Mission at Pee Dee Christian and many other Florence area businesses or you may order it from my website, http://powers.weebly.com. Kenyon Powers, her husband, Timmy, and their three children moved to Kiev, Ukraine, in 1998 where they have been involved in evangelism, disciple making and church planting.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 89
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friends & family
Seasons of Friendship
Sharon Bixler (left) with friend, Martha Anne Arant.
Sharon Bixler & Friends
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“To everything, turn, turn, turn. There is a season, turn, turn, turn . . .” (line from the song by the Byrds). Over our lifetimes, we have many friendships; however, few endure the test of time. Friendships change over the seasons of our lives, each with different flavors and experiences. I reminisce over the many, many years of my life and the friendships I have shared with others. My early years were spent with nearly fifty children in my neighborhood; but, there were only three girls who were my “blood sisters” (if anyone remembers that). We played dolls, hopscotch and rode bikes, skated and spent endless hours together talking. Early in my teen years, my family moved into a much quieter neighborhood and my blood sisters somehow seemed to all drift away in different directions. High school and college brought new friendships, roommates and classmates. Once again, through various circumstances – marriage, war, moving and job placement – these relationships slowly perished. The lessons and experiences I gained during those times were how and how not to be a good friend. Times change, as well as seasons – each with a new experience. I will never forget one such “experience.” One rainy, cold fall day, Lynn showed up on my doorstep with a baby in her arms. She was a very intelligent, vivacious, straightforward, creative and talented young woman whom I had known through her mother. Over the next six years, we became good friends as I shared her life while she was going through a very bad divorce, a new start and a new marriage. Then, life was good for Lynn and she was in the process of building a new home and expecting baby number three. She was teaching me how to quilt and design quilts. After the birth of her third son, she continued to complain of pain in her left hip area. During the pregnancy, she blamed the pain on the baby’s position. This continued on for months, during which time
I accompanied her to different tests and doctor’s appointments. Lynn was given pain medication and basically told to live with it. One year later, a “hot spot” was found on the left hip and within a week, she was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma. She died eight months later. One of her last lucid days, she called me to come and see her. (By this point, she was weak and bedridden at home.) When I arrived, we chatted as usual; but, I could sense a difference in her voice – not a defeated or resigned tone, but an acceptance, a peace I had never heard. Lynn handed me a small box and said, “This is for you.” I opened it slowly and, there, nestled in the cotton, was a beautiful ruby and opal necklace and earring set. I embraced her for I knew this was our goodbye and the floodgate of tears just poured forth and flowed for what seemed like forever. True to her being, she just held me – so strong, so silent. She finally looked at me and said, “Don’t you ever not wear these just for good; wear them and remember us.” Lynn’s mission was finished. Mine continues; her strength, character and legacy continue to inspire me. Lynn was the first of three friends I have lost through death. The second was my father who taught me how to treat people. He was a great dad who played with my brother and me, all the while teaching us how to play and enjoy life. I never saw him unable to relate to any human being – no matter the age, sex or race. He could find something in common with everyone. As a nurse, I was humbled (because nurses are supposed to fix things) when my brother and I had the privilege of caring for our dad at home with hospice. Dad taught me as a daughter and, most importantly, as a person, that life truly is about relationships and the importance of others over self; he taught me that it wasn’t about me. My precious dad’s last words were, “I love you.”
“One classy lady” is the only way I could ever begin to describe my hospice patient and friend. People who think that a dying person has nothing to give totally have the wrong impression. This beautiful lady (in her mid-fifties) had so much to offer, I could not even begin to explain. We had many conversations regarding her business practices, preparations for her daughter’s wedding (in another state) and death. Most precious was her candid conversations about death; she expressed her fear of the dying process, but not of death. She walked in strong spiritual faith. She, like many, had asked,“Why me?” Then, she would answer with,“Why not me? Who could I give this to if I could give it away . . . ,” she looked at me and continued, “. . . knowing full well that they would die? No one. It’s my time.” Again, in tears, I said goodbye. True to her faith, she looked at me and said,“Don’t cry for me; I’m going to be fine. Cry for them,” as she pointed to a picture of her family, “and pray for their journey through this.” Life is a journey comprised of many seasons of friendships. Now, God has given me a precious friend, Martha Ann, who recently called me in tears, crying (of course, I did, too, even though I didn’t know why), “I rang the bell! I rang the bell!” What she was sharing were tears of joy because she had just been discharged from the cancer clinic, cancer-free! I can’t help but think of Jesus and Charlotte when I think of a friend. Remember the book and movie, Charlotte’s Web? Watch it again as an adult and you will see that Charlotte gave her all – to the death – for Wilbur. (Remind you of any one?) Charlotte demonstrates the integrity of how to be a true friend, whereas the others . . . . (Well, you watch it and see for yourself.) Jesus is the best friend you can have. Yes, He calls you friend (John 15:15). The greatest joy, however, of having Jesus as your friend is that He will never leave you – even in death.
n Sharon Bixler lives near Patrick with her husband of 35 years, Hal. She is a Nurse Consultant for Omnicare of Florence, a long-term care pharmacy.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 91
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friends & family
Generations of Tradition by Marianne Gregg
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Above: Carolyn (Sissy) and James (Boot) Gregg Top: on their wedding day, (SIXTY years ago, this November 13 th) and with the entire Gregg family (Minus their granddaughter, Nikki and her Husband Eric)
The Gregg Family
arolyn L. Gregg and James C. Gregg, Sr., are affectionately known to all as “Sissy” and “Boot.” The daughter of Carolyn Epps and Edwin Marshall Lipscomb, Sissy was born and raised in Newberry County. Boot was the son of Irene Claussen and William McCall Gregg. Born and raised in the Claussen Community in Florence County, he is one of ten children. His childhood was filled with days of hard work and play. The family went on picnics, fishing and often took a dip in the “swimming hole.” After high school, Boot enlisted in the Navy and served his country during World War II. After his service, he attended Newberry College. Boot and Sissy met when he was attending college in the late 1940’s. One afternoon, Boot and some of his buddies were strolling through Newberry and he spotted Sissy “swinging” on her front porch. Shortly thereafter, their courtship began. Sissy was a faithful fan attending Boot’s baseball games at Newberry College. Their dates included going to the movies and attending church together. Occasionally, several couples would get together and drive to Adams Camp on Lake Murray for an evening of dinner and dancing. On November 13, 1948, Boot and Sissy married and began their lives together. In 1951, they returned to his hometown of Florence where the couple has raised four children – Jimmy, Carol, John and David. They relied on each other to meet the needs of their family but quickly note that each came from families that were supportive in all respects to assist them in getting on their feet. Life in those early years was busy. Boot farmed during the day and worked in the tobacco market at night. Sissy was a homemaker. As the mother of four children, her days were filled with cooking, cleaning and sewing. When the children became older, Sissy spent many hours transporting them to church activities and piano lessons.
In addition, the children all played sports and everyone went to all the games to support each other. Every summer, they always took the children to the beach for a week’s vacation. Boot’s career path led him to public service, where he served as a Magistrate’s Constable, Deputy for the Florence County Sheriff’s Office and Probation Agent for South Carolina Department of Probation and Parole. In 1968, he ran and was elected as the Clerk of Court for Florence County, where he served eighteen years until retirement. Emphasizing how important family is to his parents, David (the youngest son) recalls Boot working all day and then coming home and farming so that his mother didn’t have to work outside the home, thus always being there for the children. He says that the importance of family, faith and laughter and doing for others are the important things he learned from his parents and those are the things he took into his own family. He and his wife, Brenda live in Florence and will soon be grandparents. Recalling some of the Gregg family traditions, David says, “For years, Mama cooked Sunday lunch for the entire family and anyone extra that wanted to come. Granny always came out and spent the night to go to church on Sunday.” He adds,“Boots always has a huge garden and gives ninety percent of it away.” Another tradition is every year on Christmas morning, the families go to Boot and Sissy’s to exchange gifts with the grandchildren, nieces and nephews. David says that his mama’s motto would be,“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” “Take a moment to see how fortunate you are and always be willing to help others” and “Laughter is the best policy,” are his daddy’s mottos. Those were especially important in 1989 when lightning struck the Gregg Home and they lost most everything – school pictures, wedding pictures, high school annuals, furniture, keepsake Christmas ornaments. It was the
n Marianne Gregg and her husband, Jimmy, live in Florence.
home the children grew up in. The oldest son, Jimmy, shares some of his memories, “Being raised in a farm atmosphere, I was very fortunate to have a stay-at-home mother and a father that spent a great deal of time outdoors with me. We were not rich but seemed to have everything we needed. I have never seen Boot lose his temper. I wish I had his patience. I think my brother, John, got it.” Growing up in the Gregg family, Jimmy says he learned to try to keep close to family and church and to treat everyone with respect because it has a positive impact on you and your family. “I learned not to make quick decisions or remarks when I’m upset or mad. I slip on this occasionally and always regret it.” Jimmy, like David, also recalls that until their family became so numerous, every Sunday, his mama would cook lunch. He adds, however, that she would give a short lecture to whoever didn’t make it to church. Because family is so important to the Gregg family, Jimmy says that although everyone may not make it to Sunday lunch now,“Each child makes it a point to see our parents several times a week.” Boot and Sissy continue to be active members in Hopewell Presbyterian Church. Sissy still cooks, sews, makes bags and enjoys needle point. She alters clothing for the daughters-in-law and grandchildren. She takes the grandchildren to ballgames and picks them up from school when needed. Boot still tends to his garden and shares his vegetables with family and friends. He also still enjoys his weekly golf and pool games with his friends. Of course, he still loves to head to the pond for an hour or two of fishing. Both take every opportunity to spend time with their children, eight grandchildren and six greatgrandchildren.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 93
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friends & family
My Pier, My Friend
S
wansboro is a small, quaint fishing village and summer resort. It stands – almost unchanged by modern times – beside the Intracoastal Waterway in North Carolina. It was in this village that I spent my teenage summers with my family, enjoying the sea and my pier – the pier being my most devoted friend. I feel a need to come back and visit my pier – my friend – where I spent so many unforgettable hours. It is with these thoughts that I return today, many, many years later. I turn off the highway onto the narrow, one-lane, gravel-covered road which leads down to the water, our cottage and our pier. (I still refer to the cottage and pier as “ours” or “mine” even though another family now owns both. Long ago, my father sold this property and now someone else enjoys the view and pleasures that I always felt were solely mine.) The underbrush alongside the road is thicker and taller than when we summered here. Daddy always kept the brush cut close to the ground. Now, it is whipping against the side of the car, attacking it as I drive toward the water. Our cottage stands at this road’s end. The road turns left where four other cottages stand, all lined beside the water’s edge. This small compound of cottages once belonged to families from my hometown. There were many happy occasions shared and enjoyed by these families and everyone shared and enjoyed my pier – my friend. There is no one around on this cold, overcast November day. The summer has long ago ended and with its end, the summer people returned to their permanent homes. All the cottages are boarded for protection against the coming season and they stand abandoned for the winter. After parking my car, I walk beside our cottage toward the water and the still-standing pier. The grass has grown taller in the yard than we ever allowed it to grow and the water comes closer to the house. The earth has given way to the years of the sea lapping against its edge. The wind is quite brisk and cold and the salt air stings my face. There are whitecaps on the water, proving the existence of a strong gale. The seagulls, circling overhead, make a strong, white contrast against the gray winter sky. I reach my pier and my much-missed friend. The pier stands directly in front of our cottage, stretching straight some one hundred feet from the edge of our lot and out and above the water. Weathered by the sea air and age, it stands ready to greet me – proud and almost as sturdy as it was many, many years ago. It is four-feet wide and has hand railings on both sides. The purposes of the hand railings are two-fold. Supposedly, the railings help make walking easier and safer; however, young girls have been
Rosanne Saunders seen sitting atop these railings trying to strike an attractive pose to gain attention from the young boys who pass by in their sporty, sleek boats. Many a spill was taken by me while attempting this feat. No paintbrush has ever brushed the rough surface of these boards. Painted piers were never the trend of this community. Instead, they are allowed to weather and obtain an individual personality of their own making. Every third plank of the main four-foot wide walkway is deliberately void of nails. This is done so when hurricanes brew high tides, these unsecured boards can be easily removed. This allows the high tides to rise up into the pier, decreasing water pressure, thus saving it from being washed away. This remedy has kept my pier intact because it certainly has ridden out many a storm. There are steps leading left from the main pier and down to a narrow, two-foot wide walkway. The boats can be tied to its support posts and entry into the water is made easier for those wishing to swim or ski. There are no hand railings on this walkway, so careful attention must be given to balance or an unplanned dip into the water is almost always inevitable. My brother, Doug, and I used to jump from this catwalk into the water and splash and dunk each other playfully. Our family Beagle (we think he was a Beagle), Roscoe, would usually jump in, also. He would dog paddle out to us and hang on to our shoulders using his front paws. Roscoe didn’t understand that Doug and I were playing and not trying to harm each other. At the end of the pier are two benches built onto the sides of the main pier’s railings. I take a seat and accept the comfort and solitude it offers. My now-deceased mother and I used to sun ourselves on these same benches and bond as only mothers and daughters can do. The wind is able to attack my body out here in the open, high above the water. I can taste the salty air and my hair is flapping into my eyes, making it necessary to retie it using my scarf. Looking down the waterway, I see more of the same cottages I remember, dotted closely together along the waterfront. These also are boarded for the winter. It is a lonely feeling I feel; yet, it is also one of peace. Lonely because I can almost hear the long-ago sounds of speedboats pulling skiers and the laughter of neighboring children playing in the water. Peaceful because I can feel serenity while looking across the water, which seems to extend beyond the end of the earth. I used to start myself skiing on this pier under the sun until my skin was almost bronze in color. This pier also was a favorite courting place. Many a night as teenagers, a group of us would sit in this very same spot under a full moon – the moon being our only light and it would only
shine for us. My pier embraced us, protected us and never told any parents the particulars of our pier activities. My pier would always listen to me when I needed a “sounding board.” - It remained patient and understanding of my youthful joys, fears and heartaches. I sit here now, looking at the deteriorating wood and wonder if this deterioration is brought about by age or neglect. I feel I left my old pier to the present owners to love and cherish it as I have always loved and cherished it. Does it still entertain the young lovers on summer nights? Is it allowed to share in these owner’s private lives and thoughts? I feel I have left so much of myself here. The outside world doesn’t appear to be so frightening and my worries get smaller while I am here visiting my old friend. It has become quite late as I have sat and reminisced. The orange sun in all its splendor has dropped to the edge of the distant waters. This marks the beginning of another glorious sunset and the end of another day. I feel tears of sadness and loss running down my face. I wipe some away, but they are coming too rapidly. So many plans were made and so many dreams were dreamt on this pier – my devoted friend. Some dreams saw a reality; most did not. I know I not only left my pier when I was last here many years ago, but I also left my youth and many of my hopes and dreams. I now know I can return, but I can never fully reach back in time. In the distance, I hear and see a speedboat approaching, pulling a lone skier out for one last run before the hard winter settles in. I chuckle because I can remember when I used to ski off the steps of this pier in years past. The boat and skier are closer now and, as they pass, the skier swings towards me and my pier. Just as he gets even with us, he cuts back sharply into the opposite direction, shooting a high spray of water to drench both pier and me. Totally soaked, I laugh and wave a greeting to the now-astonished skier and boat driver. I wish they could realize that they have allowed me to reach back into time and see myself as I was many years ago. For then, it was I on the ski behind the boat trying ever-so-hard to totally soak anyone within my range. With this, I take my leave. I fondly touch the nowrough surface of my pier – my devoted friend. I leave it to a much younger generation in hopes that they will share many happy hours with their families and friends. I did return and, for the briefest of moments, I did succeed in reaching back into time. Farewell, my friend, and thanks for all the memories.
n
Rosanne and her husband, Freddie Saunders, live in Florence. A retired nurse, she has three sons, three stepsons and eight grandchildren. Freddie and she have three cats and a new Toy Poodle, CoCo Chanel. Having recently lost her mother, Rosanne further realizes how important family should be to everyone. Her younger brother, Doug Tolar, is the only sibling she has and she cherishes the times they have spent together. While living in NC, she wrote a weekly humor column for a publication of the Charlotte Observer dealing with women’s issues. She collects dolls and is Vice President of the Southern Animal Welfare League.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 95
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 97
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Art& Soul
Have you read any good books by Sharman Poplava
i
If your library card is dog-eared, you can list the recent top 10 bestsellers, and you’re on intimate terms with Amazon.com, then you’ll want to bookmark these dates. Francis Marion University is hosting the 3rd Annual Pee Dee Fiction and Poetry Festival Thursday, November 6 - Saturday, November 8. All bookworms are invited. The festival will be held in the Cauthen Educational Media Center’s Lowrimore Auditorium at Francis Marion University. It’s a free event. Authors participating in the event are: Ethan Canin, Sara Gran, Dorianne Laux, Valerie Martin,Tom Perrotta, and Robert Wrigley. The festival includes readings, signings, panel discussions, and presentations by the six noted authors and poets. In addition, there will be screenings of films based on novels by Canin, Martin and Perrotta. Canin’s novels include, “Blue River,” “For Kings and Planets” and “Carry Me Across the Water,” and a new one just released entitled, “America America.” He’s the author of two collections of short stores, “Emperor of the Air” and “The Palace Thief.” An interesting factoid about Canin- in addition to an MFA, Canin has a medical degree from Harvard Medical School. Glamour Magazine reviewed Sara Gran’s book, “Dope” by saying, "May be the most surprising read this year." In addition to “Dope” her mystery novels include,“Come Closer” and “Saturn’s Return to New York.” Anyone who has worked as a gas station manager, sanatorium cook, maid, donut-holer and lived as a single mother has got to be interesting. Dorianne Laux is the author of, “Facts About The Moon,” “Smoke” (BOA Editions), “Awake,” and “What We Carry.” She is also co-author, with Kim Addonizio, of “The Poet’s Companion: A Guide to the Pleasures of Writing Poetry.” She received the Pushcart Prize for poetry, two fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and a Guggenheim Fellowship. Valerie Martin is the author of three collections of short fiction, “The Unfinished Novel and Other Stories,” and seven novels, including “Italian Fever,” “The Great Divorce” and “Mary Reilly,” the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story told from the viewpoint of a housemaid, which was filmed with Julia Roberts and John Malkovich, and “Property”. She is also the author of a non-fiction work about St. Francis of Assisi, “Salvation: Scenes from the Life of St. Francis.” Tom Perrotta’s books include, “The Abstinence Teacher,” “Little Children,” Joe College,” “Election,” “The Wishbones,” and “Bad Haircut: Stories of the Seventies.” “Election” was made into a movie starring Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon. Poet, Robert Wrigley’s collections include “Earthly Meditations: New and Selected Poems,” “Lives of the Animals,” “Reign of Snakes,” “In the Bank of Beautiful Sins,” “What My Father Believed,” “Moon in a Mason Jar,” and “The Sinking of Clay City.” Writing evidently runs in the family- he’s married to writer, Kim Barnes.
?
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Dr. Ed Eleazer, FMU English Professor who is an organizer of the event says, “ We are presenting an absolutely free event with six highly recognized authors for people who share the love of reading. ” For more information on the Pee Dee Fiction and Poetry Festival, contact the FMU English Dept. 661-1371 or check out the website at http://alpha1.fmarion.edu/~pdfiction/.
Sharman Poplava is president of the Greater Hartsville Chamber of Commerce. She lives in Hartsville, SC with her husband. Her e-mail is president@hartsvillechamber.org.
November Calendar of Events This month’s can’t miss big ticket... If your flavor of music is Country then you’ll want to kick up your boots for the upcoming Country Music Festival at the Darlington Raceway. It’s an all day event with car shows, crafts and music featuring big country music names like the Marshall Tucker Band, Gene Odom of the original Lynyrd Skynyrd, Country Inc., Dixie Ambush, DB Bryant Band and Tennessee Jed. Festival is Sat. Nov. 1. Gates open at 9am and music begins at 11am. MUSIC Central Methodist Church’s Live@ Central presents “A Brass Quintet” on Wed., Nov. 5 at 6:30pm. Hartsville-Coker Concert Association presents Chatham Baroque Symphony on Tues., Nov. 11 at 7:30pm at Davidson Hall, Hartsville. Coker College Chamber Singers Fall Concert on Thurs., Nov. 13 at 7:30pm at Davidson Hall. The Blue Dogs at Redbone Alley, Florence on Wed., Nov 26 at 9pm.
DANCE South Carolina Dance Theatre presents the Nutcracker Ballet on Thurs.– Sun. Nov. 6-9 at the Florence Little Theatre. FESTIVALS Jubilee Arts Festival, Sat., Nov. 15 10am-4pm Bennettsville Community Center EXHIBITS Creative Offerings Inter-Faith Art Exhibit- hosted by Central United Methodist Church, 225 W. Cheves St., Florence beginning Nov. 1. This year’s theme is, “In the Beginning…” based on the first chapter of the Book of Gensis. Exhibit runs trough Nov. 24. Florence Museum –19th Miniature Art Competition Nov. 18- Dec. 21. Tues. –Sat. 10am-5pm & Sun. 2pm-5pm. 558 Spruce St., Florence. Hartsville Museum- “Coker College Centennial Exhibit 1908 – 2008” celebrating 100 years. of Exhibit runs through December. Mon-Fri 10am-5pm and Sat. 10am-2pm. 222 N. Fifth St., Hartsville.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 99
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Why Knowing Your Family’s Health History Is So Important by Dr. Maria Perez
Since I graduated in 1987, I have seen patients almost every day for the last 21 years. I always ask my patients “Is there any history of disease that runs in your family?” They may ask why, even if they came in for sinus congestion. Why doctors ask about family history? Doctors and health professionals have known for many years that some diseases such us: heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, anemia, cystic fibrosis, sickle cell disease, Deep Veins Thrombosis (blood clots), high cholesterol (hyperlipidemia) can run in families. If one generation of a family has high blood pressure, it is not unusual for the next generation to have similarly high blood pressure. Tracing the illness suffered by your parents, grandparents, and other blood relatives can help your doctor predict the disorders to which you may be at risk and take action to keep you and your family healthy. Your health care provider will assess your risk of disease based on your family history and other risk factors.Your health care provider may also recommend things you can do to help prevent disease, such as exercising more, changing your diet, or screening tests to detect disease early. How do doctors get that information? The collection of family history is taken from simply asking patients if there is any disease that runs in your family. The three-generation pedigree provides a pictorial representation of diseases within a family and is the most efficient way to assess hereditary influences on disease. A three-generation pedigree has been used for diagnostic or risk assessment of rare single-gene or chromosomal disorders. Most common diseases result from a combination of environmental factors and variations in multiple genes.Assessment of family history is useful to detect increased risks for diseases that have modifiable risk factors or preventable exposures.
who have a first-degree relative with colon cancer diagnosed before 60 years of age. • Counseling to promote a healthy diet in patients with high cholesterol and/or family history of high cholesterol or cardiovascular disease. • Screening for breast cancer in women with family history of breast cancer (mother, sister, etc). • Screening for prostate cancer in men older than 45 years of age at increased risk (family history of prostate cancer in a first degree-relative). How can knowing my family health history help lower my risk of disease? You can’t change your genes, but you can change behaviors that affect your health, such as smoking, inactivity and poor eating habits. People with a family health history of chronic disease may have the most to gain from making lifestyle changes. In many cases, making these changes can reduce your risk of disease even if the disease runs in your family. Another change you can make is to participate in screening tests, such as mammograms and colorectal cancer screenings, for early detection of disease. People who have a family health history of a chronic disease may benefit the most from screening tests that look for risk factors or early signs of disease. Finding disease early, before symptoms appear, can mean better health in the long run. That’s why it’s important for your health care provider to know your family health history. How are genes in blood relatives shared? First-degree relative (50% shared genes): children, parents, siblings Second-degree relative (25% shared genes): aunts, uncles, grandparents, half siblings, nieces and nephews Third-degree relative (12.5% share genes): cousins, great-grandparents How can I know my own family history?
Examples: • Consider prescribing Aspirin for an adult who is at risk of coronary heart disease because of family history of cardiovascular disease. • Earlier screening for colo-rectal cancer in persons
The best way to learn about your family health history is to talk to your family, ask questions, catch up at family gatherings, draw a family tree and record health information. If possible, look at death certificates
and family medical records to confirm the information you have collected.The family health portrait is a visual depiction of your family tree. It is constructed using circles and squares to see who is related to whom and how they are related. In terms of health and disease, a family health portrait can help show a health care provider how a particular trait or disease is passed on from generation to generation.You can construct your own pedigree, which should be reviewed by the physician to assure accuracy.The American Medical Association has developed a pocket guide that provides instructions and examples on how to generate a pedigree.It is available online at http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/2380.html. Write down the information you collect about your family health history and share it with your health care professional. If you have recently changed providers, make sure to bring your records to your new healthcare provider. Remember to keep this information updated and share information about your health condition with your relatives, and pass it on to your children so that they too will have a family history record. A print and Web-based tool developed as part of the U.S. Surgeon General's Family History Initiative17is available online at http://www.hhs.gov/familyhistory. You can search the internet for a new version called “My Family Health Portrait, this tool helps you to save family history information to your own computer and print out a graphical representation of your family’s generations and the health disorders that may have moved from one generation to the next such as: heart disease, diabetes, stroke, breast, ovarian, colon cancers, etc. Since the tool is downloaded onto your personal computer, no information is collected or recorded anywhere else. The tool works by guiding you through steps on how to collect and enter family history information and results in a printed family health portrait similar in format to a genetic family tree. If you prefer a Web-based site to create and print your family history, visit: English: http://familyhistory.hhs.gov/ Spanish: http://familyhistory.hhs.gov/spanish/ This is a powerful tool for predicting any illness for which you should be checked. Do it!
Dr. Maria Perez is board certified in family medicine and is affiliated with Carolinas Urgent Care, conveniently located at 1925 Hoffmeyer Road near Five Points in Florence. References: 1. American Academy of Family Physician. Family History:The Three-Generation Pedigree. DANIEL J.WATTENDORF, MAJ, MC, USAF, and DONALD W. HADLEY, M.S, C.G. National Human Genome Research Institute, National Institutes of Health, Bethesda, Maryland. August 1, 2005 Volume 72, Number 3, Pages 441-4482. HHS - US Surgeon General's Family History Initiative. www.surgeongeneral.gov.
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The arrival of Dr. Beeraka strengthens our medical team and expands its ability to serve new patients. Jeter & Skinner Family Practice of Florence is very pleased to announce that Dr. Prakash Beeraka has joined its renowned team of family medicine physicians. Dr. Beeraka comes from a highly respected medical family that includes his father, who is a surgeon, and two sisters and two brothers who are also physicians. “I realized early on that family medicine is my calling and passion,” he says. “From children to seniors, it offers me such a wide variety of patients and treatment plans – and allows me to build lasting relationships with individuals and their families.” Dr. Beeraka looks forward to welcoming new patients to the practice and to providing them the best care possible. Now accepting new patients. Same day appointments. Jeter & Skinner Family Practice 305 East Cheves Street Suite 160 Florence, SC 29506 843-662-1533 www.McLeodHealth.org
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Losing the FAMILY TABLE by Sandra Honaker
Once upon a time there was the normal American family. The mom and dad were married shortly after school (college or high school) and they had two or three kids (more only if they were Catholic or Mormon) and lived in a nice brick ranch house in the suburbs. The kids rode their bikes to school and respected their teachers and came home to a mom who was there to offer sage advice and make sure homework was finished and cook a proper dinner. Dad came home at dinner time and all the family united around the table to discuss the day, administer discipline if necessary, and look forward to a bright and happy future. This description sounds like fiction, and I knew many families who never had a life like this, but it was the type of family I was raised in way back in the 1960s and 70s. Okay, our house was frame instead of brick and I quit riding my bike to school once I entered high school (largely because it totally ruined my hairdo to have it blowing in the wind) and we had our normal share of dysfunctional moments, but regular gatherings around the table, for food and fellowship and family time were considered absolutely necessary. Nearly every evening included that meal (and every day began with breakfast at the table for many years) and every holiday, with rare exception, was celebrated with a family meal. I think in my generation, however, the time around the table is disappearing, in my own family and other families as well. The first casualty in our family was the Sunday dinner. My husband, daughters and I simply have never observed that tradition. Since I’ve taught Sunday school since they were very young, I just never had the organizational skills to prepare a large meal and a lesson all at once. Also, my husband is a golfer, and he hurries off after church to join his buddies at the local golf course while I spend the afternoon preparing for my evening discipleship class. I have to get the girls back to church for their evening activities sometime around 4:30 or 5:00, and we are all usually busy until 7:30 or so in the evening. The idea of cooking and cleaning up from a large meal in the middle of this day of supposed rest seems dispiriting. So we usually just opt for leftovers or sandwiches or some other such fare for Sunday lunch. I don’t even try to take the girls out for dinner. Sundays in my girlhood were much different. Sometimes our family went out to eat, and sometimes we went to the country club (I still think time to time of watching my cousin Jason trying to scoop up a particularly animated piece of jell-o while one lone pickle rolled precariously around his plate), but most often my mother cooked, and a full meal at that,
served in the dining room on her formal china and silver, including cloth napkins. Wow. My favorite dinner was her barbecue chicken and rice, always with two vegetables, a fruit salad, rolls and a dessert. She even carried on this tradition after we grew up and had families of our own, and I suspect she is disappointed that we never took up the job ourselves. I wonder if she imagined one day we would cook Sunday dinner and invite her over to our houses. Poor mom. I think in this one area we failed her. Sometimes my sisters and I will combine our efforts and cook on some of the minor holidays, but it takes three of us to do Mom’s job less well than she did. Still, we try, and the best part of it is despite the lack of linen napkins and two vegetables, we still have good fellowship, which is really what the table is all about—connecting with one another. For a while there I got in the habit of rarely getting my little family together at the table, but I’ve made a real effort to change that in the last few months. I’ve learned to make my meals simple affairs—linguine or soups or salads--when I’m pressed for time, and a business called Dream Dinners has helped me out a lot, giving me the opportunity to put together 12 meals at once, freeze them and pull them out to cook as needed. We don’t answer phone calls during dinner time and we sit together at the table, for the most part. The girls love it when we tell tales from their babyhoods or laugh at family jokes or Pat and I share moments from our childhoods. Sometimes we do eat in front of the TV, I’ll admit, but then we’re watching Jeopardy, which we play as a family. Surely that counts as family time, doesn’t it? If I find it hard to put a meal on the table every night, I know working moms must really feel the pinch. I hope something I found in a Beth Moore study on the tabernacle will encourage them. At the time I’m writing this article, we’re just a few weeks into the study, and last week we studied the importance of the table inside the tabernacle. On this table is the Bread of the Presence, offered constantly as a reminder of God’s covenant with the people of Israel. In the homework for that week, we had to look at many references to tables in the Bible. All of them had to do with meeting with God in fellowship. He wants us to come to His table, and if God wants us to come to Him in regular meetings, then I think it is a model for families to do the same. The “once upon a time” family I described early in this article may never be a reality again, but meeting at the table together is something we must do, and not just on Thanksgiving, although for this month that would be an excellent start. Sandra Honaker lives in Marion with her husband Pat and her two daughters Morgan and Alex. If you’re interested in learning about Dream Dinners, check out their website, dreamdinners.com.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 103
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Your home has just been deemed toxic. You have to move out for several weeks until it is made safe. You HAVE to move in with a family member for this time. Who will it be?
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Ricky Ham - Hartsville, SC “It would be with my parents. I know – without a doubt – that their door is always open for me and my family.”
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Chris English - Florence, SC “In this case, it would be my grandparents. I’m very blessed to have both of them still in my life. Any extra time I can spend with them is awesome!”
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Bert Floyd - Florence, SC “My in-laws because they’re so nice to be around.”
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Bobby Gerald - Marion,SC “I would move in with my son, Donny. He is my son- lives closest to me and of course, has my grandbaby - a definite plus.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 105
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Audrey Wiggins Shopping List
Puffed Apple Pancake
1 cup of whole milk (2% is fine if it is all you have on hand) 4 large eggs 3 tablespoons of sugar 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract ? teaspoon of salt ? teaspoon of cinnamon 2/3 cup of flour 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter 2-3 tablespoons of brown sugar 2-3 apples – peeled and sliced thin (Golden Delicious work great, but whatever you have is fine)
My husband and I cook together almost every night. It’s our time to spend together and we especially love to entertain. Many people wonder why we cook when it is so easy to order out. The answer is simple; it’s cheaper and, in most cases, much tastier to cook your own food. Also, I come from a family of cooks. My brother is a chef at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC. My parents teach a cooking class in Hickory, NC, and my sister is great at specialty recipes. My mother-in-law is a great baker. My family is spread all over the US and when we get together, cooking is always
(Serves about six people)
the center of our family time. It’s not “What are we going to do?”; it’s “What are we going
Directions Preheat oven to 425 degrees Place butter in 13 X 9 glass baking dish and place in oven to melt (*) When the butter is melted, layer apple slices on top Bake for approximately 10 minutes or until butter bubbles and apples begin to soften While waiting for the apples to soften, whisk together eggs, milk, sugar, vanilla, salt and cinnamon Add flour and whisk until smooth When apples are soft, pour the batter over the apples in dish Sprinkle with brown sugar Bake pancake until puffed and brown (approximately 20 min.) Cut and serve with powdered sugar, maple syrup or fresh fruit preserves *(Note: For a little twist, the recipe can be made in a deep cast iron skillet. If using a cast iron skillet, melt butter and soften apples in the skillet on top of stove. Add batter and transfer entire skillet into the oven to bake.)
to cook?” Throughout the year, it’s difficult to see each other because of the distance, but we always get together around Christmastime for a day or two. We make one of those days our “progressive dinner.” Each family member draws a course (breakfast, first course, meat, sides, dessert, etc.) that they are responsible for. We draw early and have a month or so to plan our entrée. On the day of the feast, the cooking begins early in the morning and goes late into the evening. It’s a full day of constant preparing and eating! It is so interesting to see what we all come up with and if it will come together. We’ve had a few disasters, as well as some spectacular dishes. This Puffed Apple Pancake is a recipe that I used years ago when I had chosen breakfast as my entrée. It was a hit and we continue to make the dish to this day. It is very easy to make and often you have the ingredients on hand, which means no earlymorning runs to the grocery store. If you’re having guests over but don’t want to slave in the kitchen all morning or have lots of dishes to wash, it’s a great recipe. Audrey and her husband, Gil Wiggins, live in Mullins. They are expecting their first child on December 8th. The picture was taken in their kitchen
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 107
Lori Ann Nichols & JoAnn Smith, Owners
Ladies’ Night • Thursday, November 20th • 5:30-8:30 PM
813 W Bobo Newsom Hwy. • Hartsville (Located in BoSmith Furniture on 151)
(843) 332-6377
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Annie
at
Note from the Editor: “This month, She Magazine is proud to present a new monthly feature, ANNIE AT HOME. As a stay-at-home wife and mother of two little girls, Annie Collins will be a voice for all stay-at-home moms as she shares her struggles, triumphs and adventures of raising two little girls and taking care of her home and family. She would also like to hear from all the stay-at-home moms who read She Magazine and will occasionally feature “guest moms.’” - Melia Flowers Berry
I would give anything for a shower right now. Dan just left for work and I have a mess in the kitchen from breakfast to clean up, several loads of laundry to start, bills to pay and bank accounts to reconcile. Absolutely none of that is going to get done because my two little girls are looking up at me with expectations in their eyes and I will not let them down. My two-year-old wants me to put her sister down for a nap so that we can do “art time” together without her project being destroyed. My nine-month-old doesn’t want to go down for her morning nap because she doesn’t want to miss out on a thing. I will spend five to ten very physical minutes bouncing her to sleep and then it’s one-on-one time with big sister. We do art time, snack time and reading time until the little one wakes up. Then I launch into creative management techniques as I prepare lunch for two hungry little girls. Part of this preparation involves first cleaning up from breakfast. As the creative techniques start losing their appeal, I usually start dishing out “appetizers” (little pieces of food to hold them over while I get the real lunch ready). We eat together at the table (with Daddy if he doesn’t have an appointment) and then “get out our energies” by running around, playing hide-andseek and dancing to princess music. Then big sister goes down for a nap, so it’s one-on-one time with little sis. She will want my help walking and cruising along furniture. So as not to disappoint her, I stay by her side as much as possible and the housework is put off for later. When she is finally tired of trying to walk, we play with some favorite toys and then read together before it’s time for her afternoon nap. Finally, after some more fighting, she is asleep. I take a deep breath and know desperately that what I need to do next is sit down and rest, open up God’s Word and refresh my spirit so that I may glorify Him in my roles as wife and mother throughout the rest of the day. Sometimes I succeed in following this conviction and other times, I do not. I know from experience, however, that it makes a huge difference in my ability to stay calm and manage whatever the day brings. Now, before the girls wake up, I will try quickly and quietly to clean up, work on that laundry and pay those bills. They will wake up hungry for a snack and ready to play with Mommy. Of course, all I can think about is what’s for dinner. So, as I neglect to give them my full attention, they start to fuss a little – and then a little bit more until I put all else out of my mind and become fully available. We may go on a walk, play dress-up and dance or they will climb all over me until Daddy comes home and takes over playtime. Then it’s madness until dinner is served. After everyone has been fed, it’s bath time/playtime, Bible time and then bedtime. By 8:30 every evening, I am physically, mentally and emotionally drained. Nevertheless, there are the rest of the supper dishes to clean and laundry to finish. All I want to do is plop on the couch with
something chocolate, turn on the TV, check my e-mail or read a good book. I muster up any bit of energy I have left (aided by the chocolate) to make sure the house is clean and ready to go so we can start it all over again in the morning. If I include significant time with my husband in all of this, I won’t be in bed until 11:00 P.M. or later. Being a stay-at-home mom is not a walk in the park (though it does often involve those with my baby strapped to my front and my little girl in a stroller). No, it is not the easy way out; that is for sure. So why do I stay home with my kids? Is it because my husband makes tons of money so that I don’t have to work? Not hardly. I am a stay-at-home mom because – despite all the challenges that come with this very full-time job (including financial sacrifices) – there is nothing else in the world I can think of that I would rather do. The greatest reward of being a stay-at-home mom is never missing a moment of my children’s lives. Children – especially babies and toddlers – change so much every day and I’m so fortunate that I can be right there alongside them as they do. The hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom is sometimes never having a moment to myself from sunup till sundown and I miss the adult interaction that occurs at the workplace. Sometimes I envy the career woman who gets to shower in the morning, put on makeup, dress up and has the opportunity to have a child-free lunch with a friend. But, I know she envies me, too, because I get to spend time in my own home every day with my children, never missing a beat of their ever-changing little lives. I have to say, I would envy me, too. I took on the challenge of being the voice for stay-at-home moms because I don’t mind being open about my life and I enjoy writing. I think this feature, “Annie at Home,” is important because there are a lot of stay-at-home moms that read and love She Magazine, as I have since I moved to Marion. I think those moms will look forward to a column every month that they can relate to. If I am going to be the voice, I need to hear from you. So, let me know what’s on your mind – from triumphs to those little (and big) tragedies – we’re all in this together, friends.
Originally from Orlando, Florida, Annie Collins now resides in Marion with her husband, Dan, a Youth Minister, and their two daughters, Maddy and Phoebe. She is a 2004 graduate of Columbia International University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. Annie looks forward to your feedback. You may contact her at anniecollins@yahoo.com.
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Page 2
In the beginning when God created the earth and all that is in it, He used the descriptive word, “good.” In the first chapter of Genesis alone, He used the word seven times – the perfect and complete number. Everything He made and saw was “good.” Imagine, when God formed us, He saw it – us – as good. He gave us proper qualities, favor and all the benefits we needed to be useful in fulfilling His good purpose here on earth. In my old dictionary, I looked up three words – good, blessed and happy. I was amazed at the common meaning of all three. According to Webster’s, good is defined as having proper qualities, suitable for a purpose, efficient, producing favor, beneficial, enjoyable, happy as life is good, satisfying, sound and excellent. The words blessed and happy had mostly the same definitions. My life is good. I am so blessed and in more ways than I know. Jesus is the Lord of my life and I have a very good family and friends. I have a home, food to eat and so much more. God continues to bless me beyond my wildest comprehension. Some days are really hard and everyone suffers in one way or another, but life is good. God created it. One day, I saw a grey rock with the words inscribed,“Life is good.” I gave it to my husband and placed it on his end table, but I read it every day and speak it over my life and the many people I love. I must mention a special lady, Melia (and her staff at She Magazine). She is good. I hear it from hundreds of people all the time. That’s because the concept in which God inspired Melia with was good and she has never lost sight of the vision and purpose of the magazine. She believes in her writers and encourages us to speak freely through the inspiration of the Lord. I love to laugh (as most of you know) and just recently I did a funny without realizing it until I got home and showed my husband. My mother-in-law, Cecil Beard, just celebrated her birthday. I was waiting for my hormone prescription to be filled, so I headed to the card section of the pharmacy. I love cards and especially the singing ones. I listened to so many and I thought I had picked out just the right one for her. I was so happy with my purchase and left feeling fulfilled. When I got home and showed Avery, I realized I must have been blind and deaf. I thought the card read,“To a Special Mom.” Instead, it read,“To a Special Man”! I must have skimmed over the writing, too, because what I thought it read was not what was inside. The card had wonderful things about spending time together, but it also said mushy things about the way we kiss and so on. You can imagine my horror and surprise, but all I could do was laugh. The music it played was even romantic! Avery was just looking at me as I laughed. He had to be thinking,“She must be crazy!” Nonetheless, he got tickled, too, and joined in the laughing mood. So, there we were in our kitchen enjoying my “oops!” moment and laughing together. Life is good! The Father knew exactly what was needed at that very moment. Now, back to the book of Genesis. God said, “It was not good that man be alone,” so he gave Adam a wife. Marriage is important to God. Just think; the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding celebration. The two go together. In good times and bad, in sickness and health, we are to cherish and honor each other. Sometimes, this can be difficult; however, through the love and grace of God, He will work everything out if we will seek Him. Life is good. Family is so important, too. Mine has always been there for me with unconditional love and support. If my parents had not believed in me, the book I wrote, His Messages, would have never happened. They provided all the means – from material to encouragement – that I needed for God’s word to be published. I believe in them and will stand by them forever. Friends are a precious gift, as well. I have found that if I haven’t talked to or seen a friend in a long time, we somehow connect right back like no time or space has distanced us. That is good. When family is friends and friends are family, you know God has richly blessed you; you are favored and satisfied. You have found pleasure, joy and gladness. A cheerful heart does the soul good. During this special time of year when we celebrate Thanksgiving, may we truly celebrate the Good Shepherd and thank Him that “Life is good!” Happy Thanksgiving!
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 109
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Life is
Good i
In the beginning when God created the earth and all that is in it, He used the descriptive word, “good.” In the first chapter of Genesis alone, He used the word seven times – the perfect and complete number. Everything He made and saw was “good.” Imagine, when God formed us, He saw it – us – as good. He gave us proper qualities, favor and all the benefits we needed to be useful in fulfilling His good purpose here on earth. In my old dictionary, I looked up three words – good, blessed and happy. I was amazed at the common meaning of all three. According to Webster’s, good is defined as having proper qualities, suitable for a purpose, efficient, producing favor, beneficial, enjoyable, happy as life is good, satisfying, sound and excellent. The words blessed and happy had mostly the same definitions. My life is good. I am so blessed and in more ways than I know. Jesus is the Lord of my life and I have a very good family and friends. I have a home, food to eat and so much more. God continues to bless me beyond my wildest comprehension. Some days are really hard and everyone suffers in one way or another, but life is good. God created it. One day, I saw a grey rock with the words inscribed, “Life is good.” I gave it to my husband and placed it on his end table, but I read it every day and speak it over my life and the many people I love. I must mention a special lady, Melia (and her
staff at She Magazine). She is good. I hear it from hundreds of people all the time. That’s because the concept in which God inspired Melia with was good and she has never lost sight of the vision and purpose of the magazine. She believes in her writers and encourages us to speak freely through the inspiration of the Lord. I love to laugh (as most of you know) and just recently I did a funny without realizing it until I got home and showed my husband. My mother-in-law, Cecil Beard, just celebrated her birthday. I was waiting for my hormone prescription to be filled, so I headed to the card section of the pharmacy. I love cards and especially the singing ones. I listened to so many and I thought I had picked out just the right one for her. I was so happy with my purchase and left feeling fulfilled. When I got home and showed Avery, I realized I must have been blind and deaf. I thought the card read, “To a Special Mom.” Instead, it read, “To a Special Man”! I must have skimmed over the writing, too, because what I thought it read was not what was inside. The card had wonderful things about spending time together, but it also said mushy things about the way we kiss and so on. You can imagine my horror and surprise, but all I could do was laugh. The music it played was even romantic! Avery was just looking at me as I laughed. He had to be thinking, “She must be crazy!” Nonetheless, he got tickled, too, and joined in the laughing mood. So, there we were in our kitchen enjoying my “oops!” moment and laughing together. Life is good! The Father knew exactly what was needed at that very moment.
by Cindy Wall Beard
Now, back to the book of Genesis. God said, “It was not good that man be alone,” so he gave Adam a wife. Marriage is important to God. Just think; the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding celebration. The two go together. In good times and bad, in sickness and health, we are to cherish and honor each other. Sometimes, this can be difficult; however, through the love and grace of God, He will work everything out if we will seek Him. Life is good. Family is so important, too. Mine has always been there for me with unconditional love and support. If my parents had not believed in me, the book I wrote, His Messages, would have never happened. They provided all the means – from material to encouragement – that I needed for God’s word to be published. I believe in them and will stand by them forever. Friends are a precious gift, as well. I have found that if I haven’t talked to or seen a friend in a long time, we somehow connect right back like no time or space has distanced us. That is good. When family is friends and friends are family, you know God has richly blessed you; you are favored and satisfied. You have found pleasure, joy and gladness. A cheerful heart does the soul good. During this special time of year when we celebrate Thanksgiving, may we truly celebrate the Good Shepherd and thank Him that “Life is good!” Happy Thanksgiving!
Cindy Wall Beard lives in Florence with her husband, Avery. She is a motivational speaker and author of His Messages, which is available at Pretty in Pink located in Florence.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 111
REYNOLDS& C ABINET Carpentry, Inc. Contact James Reynolds 843.332.5381 or 843.687.5144 (cell) Available for After Hour & Weekend Appointments
email: james@reynoldscabinet.com ReynoldsCabinet.com • Located at Home Resource Center • 4312 Alligator Road • Timmonsville, SC
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10/23/08
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“I want to be a
“S outhern Belle”
Hana Jackson In a letter to She Magazine, Hana Jackson, formerly of Hawaii, wrote: I love She Magazine! Okay, brown-nosing won’t get me anywhere, I know. But, I do! I love She Magazine! I moved to Florence from Hawaii a year ago with my husband and (now) two children, Kanoa (3) and Keawe (9 months). For the first time in my life, I am a stay-at-home mommy at the tender age of 23. Somewhere between then and now, I have lost my identity. I feel like a fish out of water here in the lovely south. I’m having a hard time adjusting without my family and friends. When I read She Magazine and see all the wonderful things that this area has to offer, I feel like there may be hope for me yet.
She lifts my spirits, helping me feel fabulous to be a woman on the inside – just not on the outside. I would love to get a makeover. There is so much that needs to be not-so-much-changed, but upgraded and improved. I’m a mess and I’m asking you at She Magazine to bless me with this chance to kick-start my new life here in style. I want this more than I could tell you. Help me to fit in and feel complete. Mahalo and Aloha, God Bless you all,
Hana Jackson
before
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Krissy Cromer and Leanne Luskin with A Stuart Laurence Salon in Florence ana was absolutely stunning after her hair,
eyebrows and makeup were done. Krissy Cromer is the makeup artist for both Stuart Laurence Salons and she is also the Florence Manager. Leanne chose to use light brown highlights to accent Hana’s dark eyes and make them pop. Hana has lovely long hair, so Leanne decided to keep most of the length and framed her face with an angle, using long layers to add volume and movement. The end result was fabulous!
At Stuart Laurence Salon and N2 Experience, we offer AVEDA products, which were used on Hana. When applying her makeup, Krissy chose to go with a sunkissed bronzed look to play up her exotic features. She used items such as tinted moisturizer for coverage and SPF, shimmer accents to make her skin glow, bronzer for the sunkissed look and gold and browns on her eyes to make them pop. Finally, Krissy applied just a simple shade of lipstick to set off the look. Hana was beautiful!
E-mail your beauty questions or suggestions for a topic that you would like to know more about to editor@shemagazine.com. Include “Beauty Buzz” as the subject.
After Bohemian blue, low-drape cowl neck, 3/4 sleeve, empire waist, jersey knit dress by Curtsey, “Paris Stroll” shoes by Naughty Monkey- all from
CYNTHIA Ladies Fine Apparel and Shoes, Florence.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 113
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ONE
of by erika chapman
You would never see my name on the MSN Home Page, nor does much come up when you Google my name. However, I am used to being stared at and stopped frequently by passersby with questions. You see, I am the third-born of ten children. Yes, you read correctly; I am one of ten and, yes, my parents did realize where children come from. Due to the size of the Edmond clan, we receive quite a bit of attention. Not many people have such a large family these days, so people are always interested in our story and have lots of questions. We are a unique mix, especially now as we are almost all grown and displaying such individual personalities and gifts. There are three girls and seven boys among us, ranging in age from fifteen to forty-two. Technically, my older brother and sister are my father’s children and my half-brother and sister, but my parents have been married since my half-siblings were three and one, so they have always been around. Mom and Dad met in Colorado and were truly the poster children for the “opposites attract” slogan. Mom was a good Catholic school girl from Detroit. She loved to ski, so she went to a small Catholic college in Colorado. She met my dad, who was a tough, street-wise young man that had already been married and had two children to take care of. They seemed to bring out the best in each other and fell in love. Despite the odds and parental concerns, they started a life together. Neither ended up with a college degree, but they both had a superior work ethic, a lot of common sense, a deep desire to build a strong family and a whole lot of stubborn tenacity. They have had – and still deal with – the struggles that life brings. My dad is a recovering alcoholic. When I was six, there were four little Edmonds at that point and my mom loved him enough to make him get help. In the midst of rehab, my dad came face to face with The Father that he’d never experienced before. The Lord reached down and changed him from the inside out and began to heal a lot of wounds that the world and the enemy had inflicted on him. Mom had surrendered her life to Christ years before when she was in a nearfatal car accident that left her swimming for her life in the freezing Colorado River. She told the Lord that if she survived, she would live for Him. The Lord provided the miracle and Mom did her best to hold up her end of the deal, even in the midst of a rocky marriage. My parents became true committed followers of our Savior when I was young. I’ve seen them live out the struggles and joys of growing in the Lord. They did many things well as parents and one of them was truly living out the journey of their faith. They would share with us what they learned from Bible study and they would admit when they were struggling or when they messed up. The reality of what a true walk with the Lord is has been a tremendous gift to me. My parents very openly taught us that children are a gift from the Lord and they would gladly accept as many of them as the Lord blessed them with. This meant that money was very tight. We moved around a lot until I was in junior high as my parents learned to follow God’s voice and be obedient in all areas of their lives. As children, our faith in the Lord grew as we saw Him provide for our physical needs with unexpected checks arriving in the mail when the bank account was empty, bare cupboards being filled by grocery bags arriving on our doorstep anonymously, being blessed by civic groups at Christmas
TEN
time and even surprise Santas leaving boxes of gifts on our porch on Christmas morning. God was so good to us and our parents were faithful to give Him all the credit. They pointed us to Him continuously. Family came first in the Edmond clan. Any free time that Mom and Dad had (which was precious because they both worked hard and long hours) was spent as a family. We would go for long drives on Sunday afternoons. We had dinner together just about every night. One of my favorite memories is how we would spend free afternoons discovering new playgrounds. The whole family came to all our sporting events and tried to go to away games as much as possible, which was a big deal because we had a little minivan that was rigged up by my dad with three baby seats bolted to the back of the driver’s and passengers’ seats. It was the only way to make all the safety seats fit and allow everyone a seat belt. We certainly couldn’t afford a fifteen-passenger van and Dad’s engineering is what worked. We laugh today as we remember the things we did to make life as a large family work. Do we all get along? Of course, not! There are a lot of strong personalities among us; however, no matter how we may disagree, we truly love each other. We have a strong desire to bring honor to the Edmond name and we were always taught that you don’t just represent the Edmonds – more importantly you represent Christ. Some of us are closer than others. As in most families, the three girls try to keep communication open and as frequent as possible. Thank goodness for the Internet, our individual blogs and e-mail. The recent years have brought new, grown-up and very difficult struggles. We have experienced financial difficulties, outside betrayal, extreme health concerns and serious conflict as a result of these struggles. However, the Lord is good and our family remains intact. Part of growing up is learning how to love in, during and through conflict. The result is that conflict has been the catalyst for growth and deeper relationships. We see God in the midst of the pain and the challenges. Family get-togethers are less frequent due to our large numbers. We end up having weddings or a new baby about every two years. Six out of the ten of us are married and there are already seventeen grandchildren among us. Furthermore, we are spread out geographically and call Georgia, Colorado, South Carolina and Canada home. As a mother, I have such a different perspective of what it means to have a large family. With three small children, I cannot imagine tripling my work load. The responsibility my parents carried overwhelms me. Certainly, no one is a perfect parent; however, the longer I am a parent, the more grace I allow my parents in the hopes that my own children will someday give me grace. Mom and Dad taught me the depth of commitment, working hard and doing whatever it takes to get the job done, loving people unconditionally, never giving up on family and trusting the Lord. Being part of an unusually large family has taught me that everyone has to do his/her part; when you see something that needs to be done, just do it. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Blood is truly thicker than water. It’s not always just about me and love covers over a multitude of wrongs. I am so thankful for my parents, Leo and Midge Edmond; my siblings (Kelly, Damon,TJ, Karl, Jeremiah, Maura, Jacob, Marshall and Ben) and my journey. No matter where I roam, I will always be proud to be part of the Edmond clan.
Erika Chapman is a stay-at-home mom to three bright and busy boys. She has been married to her best friend, Mark, for almost ten years. She recently discovered a love for blogging and you can read about her most recent adventures at www.erikaivory.wordpress.com.
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Elegant & Whimsical Ornaments, Gifts and Collectables.
Introducing trees by:
National Hardware’s
Christmas Shop
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Advanced Technology, Traditional Caring
Pee Dee Orthopaedic Associates, PA Pee Dee Spine Center
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Hokkaido, JAPAN Honolulu, HAWAII
Raven Hopkins
September 08 She Magazine
“This is a picture taken on September 20, 2008 from our hotel window at the Niseko Village Hilton in Hokkaido, Japan. The view is overlooking the volcano, Mt. Yotei.”
Bobbie Shumake, Ritta Hennecy, Myrna Nolan & Debra Marsden
June 08 She Magazine
Lahaina, HAWAII
ESTONIA She
We are in front of the Lolani Palace and the gold-sheathed statue of King Kamehameha, the great man who united the Hawaiian Islands.
went with
me to Estonia in August. We both had fun! Mindy Steinkruger
June 08 She Magazine
Here we are in front of the Lahaina Banyan Tree, the largest tree in the state of Hawaii.
Myrna Nolan, Kate Marsden, Debra Marsden, Ritta Hennecy
June 08 She Magazine
Going somewhere? Don’t forget to pack your
She!
To be featured in “There She Goes,” send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com. Include a picture of yourself (friends welcome!) with a copy of She Magazine along with a brief description.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 117
Going Out of Business “Our loss is your gain”
• Great deals on leading lines of merchandise!
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If you are one of the thousands of women (and men) who are enjoying this month’s issue of She Magazine, please join us in thanking the 223 advertisers who have made this issue possible. She Magazine is brought to you absolutely free every month because of the generous support of our advertisers, many who have advertised in every single issue since the first issue was published in March 2002. Please shop these advertisers and let them know you enjoy seeing their ads in She Magazine! 2nd To None A Stuart Lawrence Salon Abingdon Manor Absolute Medical Training Advanced Dental Center Allergy Asthma & Sinus Center Angela's Arch General Contractors Ascension Hospice AWC Baby Furniture & More BeautiControl - Pattie Hudson Black Creek Arts Council Blue Curtain Boutique Bold N Sassy Bows, Bling & Girly Things Bridgers Drugs Burry Bookstore Butterfly Beginnings C & C Boutique Cain Funeral Home Calder Jewelry Carolina Bank Carolina Closets & More Carolina Facial Plastic Surgery, P.A. Carolina Supply House Carolina Travel Carolinas Hospital System Carolinas Urgent Care Children’s Depot & More Children's Group of Hartsville City of Hartsville City of Marion City Sports Classic Cabinets Classic K-9 Clips Coldwell Banker - Deborah Gandy Coldwell Banker - Debra Freeman Collin M. Smith Photography Complete Women’s Healthcare Cottontail’s Children’s Boutique Country Club of South Carolina Cynthia – ladies fine apparel and shoes Dance for Joy Desert Sun Wholesale Tanning Donna's Dr. Paula Haley Drucker Drugs & Home Medical Equipment Eastern Carolina Medicine Edible Arrangements Especially For Her Fabric Solutions Family Neck & Back Center Ferguson Fire It Up Patio & Hearth First Charter First Choice Mortgage First Impressions Fisher Jewelers and Silversmiths Fit 4 U Fitness Forum Florence Baptist Tabernacle Living Christmas Tree Florence Carpets & Tile Florence Toyota Florence-Darlington Technical College Flossie Mae's Flowers by Starks Forum Spa Galloway & Moseley Jewelers
Genesis Cosmetic Laser Center Gerald Photography Get Framed Gold Coast Pools Goodness Gracious Goosie Ganders Griffin Plastic Surgery Handy Dandy Harmony Nest Hartsville Downtown Development Association Hartsville Furniture Company Harvest Moon Soapworks Health Facilities Federal Credit Union HealthSouth Heyward & Hanna Historic Marion Revitalization Association Hobnob Gourmet Holtz (King) Holtz (LC) International Hair J. Rufus Bratton, Jr., M.D. Jack & Molly Jack Be Nimble Jiffy Lube Jones-Smith Jewelers Keel's Flag Shoppe Kelly's Fine Arts Knight Furniture Lee’s Avon Lifetime Hearing Linda Davis Lucas Cosmetic Surgery Center Lulu's Madison Avenue Jewelry Magnolia Mall Maibe Sew Home Market Main Street Jewelers Malcolm Rasberry Fine Jewelry and Repair Mantissa Row Marion Chamber of Commerce Marion County Medical Mary Beth Lewis, MD Mary Margaret's Master’s Touch Massage McLeod Cancer Center McLeod Farms Market McLeod Health- Dr. Cory Smith McLeod Physicians Associates Merle Norman - Darlington Merle Norman - Florence Merle Norman - Lake City Merle Norman - Marion Merle Norman - Sumter Michael’s on the Loop Mindy's Nails Minnie's Giftique Monograms by Gail National Hardware Nationwide - Walt Peterson Newman Furniture Newsome Automotive Palmetto Beauty Supply Palmetto Granite Palmetto Nissan Palmetto Prosthetics & Orthotics, Inc. Palmetto Uniform Parker-Sims Interiors Parrott’s Furniture Patricia's Gift Shop
Pattycakes Peasant Market Pee Dee Gardens Pee Dee Optical Pee Dee Orthopaedic Associates, P.A. Pee Dee Winnelson Company Personalize It Pharmacy Express Phil Nofal’s Fine Footwear Physician’s Plan Physicians Weight Loss Centers Pink Fish Planet Art Porter's Gift Shop Poynor Adult Education PPSI Preferred Nursing Premier Medical Day Spa Prudential Segars Realty Radicals Rambo's Shoes Reynolds Cabinet & Carpentry, Inc. Richard Nash Cosmetic Dentistry Roseanne’s Electrolysis Rosewood Manor Ruth's Safe @ Home Safe Credit Union SC Dance Theatre Schlotzsky's Deli School of Dance Arts Sew Unique Quilt Shop Sexton Dental Clinic Shhh . . . Intimate Apparel Skinsations MediSpa Slice It Pizzeria Smoke Free South Florence Upholstery Southern Flooring & Interiors Spa de Vie SPC Credit Union SS Custom Kitchens Stitch It & More Sunburst Shutters Susan's Flowers Sweet Peas Unique Floral Designs Sweet Serenity Talk ‘N Tan Teachers Tools The Art Shop The Carolinian The Clothes House The Drive-In The Earring Lady The Grove Inn The Louver Shop The Midnight Rooster The Oops! Co. The Pampered Chef The Plaza The Salon The Toy Shop Thirty-One Gifts - Tara R. Barrineau Thunderbird Inn Tomlinson Sales Company Treasures from the Attic Trinity Collegiate School Tupperware - MJ Cooper
Twice As Nice Unlimited Travel Unique Landworks Venables Very Florence Victor's Bistro Weaver Woodworking WebsterRogers, LLP Welch & Bonds White's Printing Wild Rose Estate Windham Aesthetics World of Color www.dressforms.com www.jennymossdesigns.com Young Plantations Young World
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 119
Don't just "guess" about your skin issues -
know what they really are!
Have you discovered Poynor?
NOVEMBER SPECIAL:
Free In-Depth Skin Analysis & Consultation Registration is your
first STEP! We have programs that can enhance your academic and personal life. The community school offers a range of classes which include computers, dance, guitar, Spanish, cake decorating and more!
• On-Site, Full-time Physician • Smart-Lipo Laser Assisted Liposuction • Laser Hair Removal for all skin types • Laser Skin Rejuvenation and Tightening • Cellulite Treatments
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For a complete list of our classes, visit our website:
509 S. Coit Street • Florence, SC 843-676-1435 • 843-667-1919 www.myheavenlyskin.com
www.poynor.com 301 S. Dargan St. • Florence, SC • 843-664-8152
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Room for One
More?
by Janet R. Sims, LPC
Janet R. Sims is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice in Florence, where she lives with her husband, Russ.
i
I was a sophomore in college at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia, and our professors gave us two days off. I decided to surprise my family by coming home unexpectedly, so I drove home with some of my friends and arrived at my parents’ house around midnight. Since they had all gone to bed, I used my key to let myself in and planned to greet my folks the next morning. Ready to crash for the night, I tiptoed into my bedroom and discovered that someone was sleeping in my bed! Somewhat baffled, I went to the sofa in the den and made a bed. The next morning, I found out that this new roommate was a young teacher who worked with my mother at the local elementary school. Recently separated from her husband, she was between homes. My parents had temporarily given her my room since I was in college. This was not an uncommon occurrence in my home because, throughout the years, my family has taken in several persons who had nowhere else to go. It is so important that we are tuned in and aware of those around us who are alone and in need of a family. There have been several occasions where the Lord has brought friends into my life that, at the time, were without close ties to their own families. It has been such an honor and privilege to expand my home to give them refuge. Some of those relationships are some of my dearest friends even today. My children have grown up to be open to this extensive or expansive view of family. In fact, at age twelve, my daughter shared her room with a female college student (who was 26) and in need of a safe place and a loving home. I was a single mother at the time and this young lady stayed with us for a year and ended up serving somewhat as a nanny for my children. I have also been a recipient of the graciousness of others who have offered me a safe place during some low times. At 38-years-old, I suddenly found myself divorced and a mother of four very small children at Christmastime. During that difficult season, there were two homes that truly accepted me and my family with open arms. One family was an older couple in Hartsville who gave me a safe, warm home to come to some weekends when I was feeling particularly vulnerable and alone. This was helpful because my own family lived five hours away in Virginia. Another family who lived three houses down from me in Darlington opened their home to me on Christmas Day. They knew that Christmas Day was especially difficult because my family lived far away and my children had to leave each Christmas at 10:00 A.M. to spend time with their dad and his family. I never felt like the intruder or outsider but always as one of them. To this day, I still know I could go to their homes at anytime – day or night – for anything. We have to be open to friendships and relationships with people who are different from us in age, ethnic group, race, socioeconomic status and so on. My mother shared a story with me that illustrates this point well. When she was a little girl, her best friend was a next-door neighbor named Webster (“Webby” for short). Although Webby had Down Syndrome, as a little girl, my mother did not know he was different from her. She just knew they played in the backyard with their buckets and shovels. When they went to the first and second grades, they were in classes together and rode the school bus together each day. After second grade, however, Webby could not keep up and had to stay at home. When my mother would come home on the school bus, Webby would run out to greet her with his arms outstretched. Time passed and Webster’s family moved to upstate Virginia. His family and my mother kept in touch by letters but rarely saw each other. Later, when my mother was in college, she dated a guy from a university in the town where Webby’s family had moved. They would open up their home for her to spend the night on those weekends. When my mom would get out of her car to walk up to their home, again with outstretched arms, Webby would run up to her as he did when he was a child, calling her name. For Webby, she says it was like time had not changed them and he was still one of her best friends. This is a wonderful example of a friendship that surpassed the typical barriers. This friendship was based on the heart and the differences did not obscure the acceptance and love they shared. So many of us are uncomfortable and avoid or even shun those who are different from us. Oh, the blessings we miss because we won’t take the time to get to know someone beyond their differences from us in race, age, class, education, etc. I feel that especially with the holidays coming up in the next months, we need to be even more aware of the aloneness of many around us. The gifts that we have been given in our families, friends, faith, finances and so much more should not be hoarded just for ourselves but extended to others. A scripture which I believe speaks to this opening and extending our homes and families to others is Isaiah 54:2,“Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.” Let us take a lesson from the Lord and stretch our tents to encompass those in need.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 121
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WE’RE LOOKING FOR LIFESTYLE SUCCESS STORIES. If you have lost weight, kicked a bad habit, or mastered the art of healthy living, we want to hear your story.
She
C o ming in Ja nua r y
10/22/08
in
Be
122
If you would like to submit your story for consideration, send an e-mail to editor@shemagazine.com. Include a day and evening phone number and JANUARY 2008 in the subject line. Deadline is November 25th.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 123
Get the Look You’ve Always Wanted! Many women seeking breast augmentation desire to have natural appearing breasts that bring the body into balance while others are looking for a significant increase. Whether performed to enhance breasts which appear to be too small as a result of poor development, or post pregnancy shrinkage. The result can be not only enhanced physical appearance, but improved self esteemand inner confidence.
If you are one of the many women considering this procedure, call our office today to schedule a consultation.
J.Rufus Bratton, Jr., M.D. F.A.C.S. 800 East Cheves Street • Suite 480 • Florence
843.667.3533
We now offer Botox® Cosmetic.
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What
Linda Weatherford
of
SPC CREDIT UNION has to say about advertising in
She Magazine...
Pictured: (LtoR) Linda Weatherford, Melissa Johnson and Angela Harrison
“
In today's economy, people have never been more uncertain about their financial future. SPC Cooperative Credit Union was founded in 1941 by the employees of Sonoco Products Company in Hartsville. While we have expanded to serve consumers throughout Darlington, Florence and Marlboro Counties, our purpose remains the same. As a strong and secure non-profit, member-owned financial cooperative, our philosophy is "People helping People". She Magazine is a powerful source of communication that allows us to relay that message to our members and potential members throughout the region. She educates and provides information that makes a positive impact on its readers. At SPC, our goal is exactly the same and we consider She a perfect fit for our marketing efforts.
�
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 125
Our CARE Team (Compassionate And Reliable Experts)
includes: • • • •
Physician Registered Nurse Chaplain Certified Nursing Assistant
• Licensed Master of Social Work • Volunteers • And many others
Ascension Hospice is a family-owned and operated hospice agency serving terminally ill patients across South Carolina. We bring to our patients and their families the same personal attention and care we would for our own families.
1303 W. EVANS S FLORENCE, SC (843) 468-9700 7142 WOODROW ST. • IRMO, SC • (803) 796-9296
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The secret is out! The most loved women’s magazine is now the most loved women’s website! www.shemagazine.com or www.she.sc
spirited. healthy.empowered Isn’t it just like
She
to make a good thing even better?
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 127
The place where everyone comes together to give Thanks.
214 Second Loop Road • Florence, SC • 662.2681 www.knightfurnitureshowrooms.com
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With a Grateful by Sherry S. Page Atkinson November, the season we celebrate the first Thanksgiving, is here. God has showered us with numerous blessings. Let us have an attitude of gratitude for all we do have
Heart
rather than grumble and mumble about what we don’t have. The Bible tells us to enter His presence with Thanksgiving (Psalm 100:4). Little children are precious, giving thanks to God with their simple, sweet, sentence prayers: “Thank You, God, for the trees and flowers. Thank You, God, for my family. Thank You, God, for our homes.” Psalm 106:1 tells us to give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever. Psalm 107:31: Let us give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men. Father God, we humbly thank You for life itself, for Your love, for sending Jesus to die in our place, for our dear families, for meeting our needs, for all our many blessings. Surely, there is peace and joy in an attitude of gratitude. The Bible tells us in I Thessalonians 5:18 to give thanks in everything. Perhaps, you are unhappy where you are, as you are, what you are doing or your circumstances.
The Apostle Paul said in
Philippians 4:11: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” None of us look forward to trials in life, even though we grow in Christ through them. You and I would rather remain in our comfort zones. However, it is in our difficult times that we desperately seek more of Jesus. Yes, we are to have an attitude of gratitude, even in the tough hardships of life, knowing our Father God promises He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not fail you or forsake you (Joshua 1:5). Many evils confront the consistently righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Psalm 34:19). God does not say when or how He will deliver us, but He says He WILL. Our responsibility is to trust Him and stay focused on Him while we do not understand. Nothing you are experiencing lasts forever. Everything is subject to change but God! Romans 8:28 promises us God works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Everything Satan intends for harm, God can turn it around for good when we trust and obey Him. Our disappointments are God’s appointments to show Himself strong in our lives. He will never place us where His grace will not sustain us. In II Corinthians 12:9, the Bible tells us His grace is sufficient for us. We can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). If you are in the middle of a mess and you feel overwhelmed, think on Ephesians 3:20: He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly all that we ask or think. If we ask anything according to God’s will, He answers and hears us (I John 5:14). Psalm 23:5 assures us that God prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies. He anoints us with oil and our cup runs over. The Lord wants to remind you of Jeremiah 33:3: Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, fenced in and hidden, which you do not know. What a mighty God is our Heavenly Father, His Son, Jesus, and His sweet Holy Spirit! They are so worthy of our worship and praise. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving (Psalm 95:2). Enter into His gates with thanksgiving (Psalm 100:4). Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And, God’s peace, which transcends all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7). Jesus is with you, in you to help you be victorious in your struggles. There is unlimited power in praise and an attitude of gratitude. If you are not sure of your salvation or if you have never asked Jesus into your heart and would like to, you could pray something like this: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for loving me and for sending Jesus to die on the cross for my sins. I am sorry for my sins and ask You, Jesus, to forgive me and come into my heart and life. I commit my life to You and ask for Your guidance. Baptize and fill me with Your Holy Spirit that I may be strengthened to live a victorious Christian life and be a bold witness for You. In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen. Sherry S. Page Atkinson lives in Marion with her husband, Jimmy. Those wishing to contact her may do so at the following address: 6526 South Highway 41 or you may e-mail her at: sherrya@nethwy.com.
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Dreaming of Perfect Skin? Offering Botox, Restylane, Perlane, Vein Therapy, along with cosmetic & reconstructive surgery of the face & neck.
Join us for a book signing with
Celeste Young, Lisenced Esthetician offers a variety of chemical peels, Photo Rejuvenation and Laser Hair Removal for all skin types.
Florence native Hanna Stokes Green author of Don’t Fight The Nite Nite on Saturday, Dec. 6th 2pm-4pm
We carry SkinCeuticals and Glo Minerals.
Come in and register for a birthday bucket!
CAROLINA FACIAL PLASTIC SURGERY, P.A. CARLA C. GRAHAM, M.D., F.A.C.S. 492 West Cheves St. • Florence • 665-0400
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FABULOUS FINDS
Around the Table
A.
B. C. G.
D.
F. E.
A. I Am Thankful Glass by Lolita - Minnie’s Giftique, Hartsville • B. Woodland Turkey Platter by Spode®- Porter’s Gift Shop, Florence C. Divided Autumn Serving Dish - Bridger’s Drugs, Marion • D. Reindeer Plate by Mandy Bagwell - Patricia’s, Darlington E. Present Serving Platter with Ribbon accent - Monograms by Gail, Scranton • F. Jenny Moss design dining piece - www.jennymossdesigns.com G. Oversized Turkey Platter - Back by Popular Demand, Florence
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 131
No matter where they go or what they do... KFA dancers are there to support each others... Anytime, Anywhere!!!
KFA celebrates “Jax” As KFA celebrates its 20th birthday, they honor Jacqueline Goss as the official KFA Birthday Girl.
KFA offers classes in tap, ballet, jazz, clogging, pointe, technique, modern, gymnastics, flexibility, tumbling and cheer. Fore more information, please call 843-374-4532.
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C
H
T I M E F O R A N G E
by
Ada Nwankudu
I
It is early and I am immersed in thought about the frightening news of our current economic crisis and the uncertainties of our future. As my reflection became more intense, I began to question God. “Where are You? Do You not care if we perish? What went wrong? You have rescued us many times before and You can again – if You so choose. I know Your Son, Jesus, rescued us from our sins. We need to be rescued from war, economic crises, religious strife, leadership failures, social ills and moral decay. We live in a polluted world. The pollution (collectively generated by us) has eroded every fabric of our lives. We have fallen short of expectations. Our differences, prejudices, egos and greed become obstacles each time we attempt to clean up our mess. How much more mess can we make before You step in to rescue us? Your gospel is constantly preached on every street corner, but it ends up like fruits that fell on non-fertile soil and failed to germinate. Many souls are disconnected from their Divine Origin. Whose fault is it, God? Did You fail to make our mission clear? Are You aware of the unimaginable problems that color continues to create? Why must there be multiple nations? One nation may have prevented wars, terrorism and hatred and power struggle. Why can’t men and women get relationships right? Why must there be different religions when each one claims superiority, preaches separatism, spreads fear and hatred? Why has religion (which is meant to be a unifying force) become the most divisive element of our time? Why are there rich people and poor people? Why, why, why?” In the midst of my questioning, I began to realize that I already have all the answers. God’s Word provides me with all the answers to my questions. God is aware. He is seeing it all; He is watching it all. He is sad, disappointed, dismayed and concerned like a Father ought to be. It’s hard for God to imagine – the Father of all; the Creator of all; the Caretaker of all, living and non-living, Christians and Muslims, believers and non-believers, the healthy and the sick, the oppressed and the oppressor, black and white, rich and poor – that His children have become what we have. I can’t imagine what it feels like to know that we, His children, and His world are in turmoil, in crises and confusion. I can’t imagine what it’s like to feel as betrayed as God must feel. It is sad that I have the audacity to question His silence. Our world is reaping what we sewed. Did He not command us to love one another? Instead, we choose prejudice and hatred. “Thou shall not kill,” He instructed. Instead, war, violence and terrorism are now heroic symbols. Was it His vote that elected our government whose misplaced priority lead to war, economic crises and the bailout that benefits the perpetrators? Do I ever ponder why our elected leaders value weapons of war over the harnessing of our own energy, special interests over public welfare, power struggle over consensus building, the equitable distribution of wealth and eradication of poverty over the enrichment of those on top, the prevention and eradication of disease with a healthcare system that guarantees access to those in need over a broken system? Am I not aware that our government is sponsoring the mass production of children by young single teenagers? Is it ethical and religious to teach young people that we can
reap where we did not sew, that our world would continue to flourish when more is taken away than is put in? Have I not replaced quiet time to seek Him with text messaging and e-mailing, spending endless hours in front of the television and talking non-stop on the cell phone? Do I expect peace in our world when I refuse to love my neighbor as I love myself? God purposely created mankind with different colors, languages, boundaries, creeds and beliefs. His purpose was to challenge us to acquire the virtue of love and tolerance. Did He not instruct us humans to seek first His kingdom for our preservation, prosperity, happiness, peace and security? Our country and the world at large are paying the price of collective neglect, disobedience, greed and incompetent leadership. Our sufferings stem from lack of purpose, self-control and love. Like the prodigal son, He keeps hoping and waiting for our homecoming. In His Home – our home – there is love, peace, happiness, health and prosperity. The current state of our country calls for intense reflection. As I reflect, I am convinced that some things about our ways of living, thinking, governing, spending and relating to one another must change or we are doomed. We cannot fold our hands and hope that our world will magically reform itself. The price of bailout is huge and benefits those at the top. Prevention is better than cure. Obama – the new kid on the block, full of ambition and optimism – is likely unaware of the enormity of our mess. Maybe that’s why McCain – a Washington insider – was initially reluctant to make promises except keeping things the Washington way, including the war in Iraq. In a way, I applaud Obama’s change slogan. Sometimes I wonder if it can transcend campaign rhetoric and Washington ineptness. Change has become so critical that Senator McCain, who preached experience and the promise of keeping us in Iraq indefinitely, is now for the so-called “change.” Reacting to our disdain for Washington experience, he demonstrated change like never before in American history by picking Governor Palin as his running mate. I overcame the shock by convincing myself that since politicians have rendered their experience inauthentic, maybe we need less political experience and more real life experience. Like Senator Obama and Senator McCain, I believe that change is imperative. It must come soon and in a huge proportion. I applaud Obama for his vision; however, the vision is bigger than him or McCain – especially when they hold the title of politicians. My hope is that reading this article will help you to reflect on how you can join the crusade for change. You can begin by becoming an agent of change in your family, your community, your workplace, in politics and in our techno-linked world. In a nutshell, I must change and you must change. The government and the governed must change. Wall Street and Main Street must change. The young and the old must change. We, the people, must change. It is our lives, our generation, our history and our legacy. May our reflections serve as a wake-up call and a call for action. As Bette Midler sang, “God is watching us from a distance.”
Ada Nwankudu and her husband, Amadi, live in Florence with their three children. She is a full-time nurse Practitioner at Carolina Pines in Hartsville and runs the The Center for Women’s Health in Hartsville as well.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 133
Wedding Anniversary Birthdays Corporate Meetings Romantic Getaways
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Thank you to everyone who made I.D. Day a success! 843-669-4041
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With two locations to serve you better: 501 S. Irby St. • Florence Marion County Medical Complex Hwy 76 • Tuesday’s Only
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Dealing withBladder Leakage
S
by J. Marshall Dent, III, MD
Some twenty-five million people are affected by urinary leakage. Many conditions predis-
If a CMG is not preformed and the diagnosis is only made by the history of the patient, one
pose women to urinary incontinence (such as vaginal delivery) which damages the pelvic
can be easily be mislead.
floor muscles. Other factors include age, obesity, pelvic surgery, infection, smoking and
The first condition is stress incontinence,which means that when there is stress to the blad-
hormonal changes with menopause. If you are affected by bladder leakage, there are many
der (such as a cough, laugh, jumping or squatting), there is leakage. This condition commonly requires
options that you have from medical, natural, behavioral and surgical to correct the prob-
a surgical correction. The next condition is urge incontinence in which the leakage occurs when the
lem.
patient is attempting to go to the bathroom. The bladder will spasm involuntarily when it gets full. The
First, the problem must be defined. There are three basic forms of incontinence
– stress, urge and overflow. The three forms may have a combination of both in the same patient, so it is essential that your doctor knows the right type because the treatment is
next condition is overflow incontinence when the bladder leaks without any warning as it fills. Both of these conditions are generally treated with behavioral or medical treatment. The surgery for bladder incontinence has come a long way in the past five years. The mindset in the past was that there needed to be a steep angle to the urethra to pre-
very much dependent on the correct diagnosis. The history and physical exam are the first steps toward understanding the
vent leakage. What this did was prevent the leakage but voiding was very difficult and it
patient’s symptoms and the degree the symptoms are bothersome. While the history is
was not unusual for a patient to have bladder training in order to void, which may take up
important, it can be very misleading in that the patient may have more than one condition
to six weeks of catheterization. We have since learned that the urethra only needs to be
leading to the incontinence. The test to accurately determine the type (or types) of incon-
supported and not angled to correct the problem of leakage. This allows the patient to
tinence is called a cystometrogram (CMG). A cystometrogram allows us to assess how
go home many times within twenty-four hours without a catheter and voiding normally.
your bladder and sphincter behave while you store urine and when you pass urine. This
The procedure has also become much safer with the new technology and new
test is done for people with urinary incontinence, people who have difficulty with urina-
approaches to bladder support. It takes less than thirty minutes with only a small needle-
tion and in people with neurologic diseases that can affect bladder function. This test will
like incision above the pubic bone that requires only one stitch or no stitch at all. The
measure your bladder capacity and pressure. By doing this, we can identify problems such
patient can quickly return to work with the only limitation of heavy lifting for several
as a small capacity bladder, overactive bladder or high pressure bladder. It is a simple test that measures and records the filling and voiding pressures of the bladder. These measurements are made through a small catheter with a built-in electrode resting in the vagina and in the urethra. The patient is asked to void after her bladder is full. This measures the flow of the urine and is recorded. If this is low, then the patient may have an obstruction to her outflow. The bladder is then filled with water through the catheter and the patient is asked to describe her filling sensation, which is then
weeks. The material used is a permanent mesh that is usually a lifetime correction. One of the nonsurgical treatments of stress incontinence is a pessary (a latex device that fits in the vagina to support the urethra by compressing it and preventing leakage). The use of a pessary requires that one is able to place and remove the device regularly to prevent infection.
reserved for those patients who are not good surgical candidates. The treatment of urge and overflow incon-
recorded, as well. If the sensation is not present, then one is concerned about a neurological condition to the bladder. If the capacity is small, then a condition called Interstitial Cystitis is a possibility or a small bladder from chronic infections is a possibility. The patient is then asked
A pessary is usually
tinence can be treated with medicines that relax the bladder muscle. The common side effects of such medicines are constipation and dry mouth. There are many medicines on the market – from pills to patches – that accomplish the desired goal. The use of surgery on these patients will (many times) make the condition worse. The use of behavioral therapy is beneficial in retraining the bladder through the use of a voiding diary
to cough and if leakage occurs, this is
and frequent voiding. The avoidance of food that aggravates the bladder such as caffeine,
recorded by a pressure measurement.
alcohol, acidic fruit drinks, sodas, potassium-containing foods such as bananas is also ben-
The patient then completes the test
eficial. There are drugs that cause incontinence such as certain antihypersive drugs such
by completely emptying the blad-
as ACE inhibitors, alpha-adrenergic agents, calcium channel blockers and loop diuretics,
der and the amount of urine
which should be avoided if possible. Sometimes, if all these methods fail, the use of nerve
left is measured.
stimulators may be the answer. The nerve stimulators help to desensitize the bladder to
A cystometrogram is the state-of-art
improper nerve signals that lead to spasm. The one component of treatment that is grossly overlooked and undertreated is
way to make the cor-
the treatment of vaginal atrophy. What happens as women age? They all lose blood flow
rect diagnosis so
to the vagina tissue. This lack of blood flow presents with the condition of vaginal dry-
the treatment is
ness but is much more than that. The lack of blood flow causes urethral dysfunction such
approximate
as urethral stricture and lack of tone to the urethral muscles. The trigone of the bladder
for the con-
(a triangular smooth area at the base of the bladder between the openings of the two
dition.
ureters and that of the urethra) becomes irritated and leads to urgency to urinate. The bladder is more susceptible to bladder infections and the bacterial flora of the vagina is altered causing the increased risk of vaginal infections.
If you have questions about the information in this article, you may contact Dr. Dent at Complete Women’s Health Care in Florence. Dr. Dent is Board Certified in Family Practice and Obstetrics and Gynecology and also holds an Advanced Certification in Menopausal Medicine.
She Magazine • November 2008 • 135
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136 • November 2008 • She Magazine
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She Magazine â&#x20AC;˘ November 2008 â&#x20AC;˘ 137
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WHEN FAMILIES
FIGHT
childrenLOSE by Lea Pritchard-Boone, PhD
Family fighting erodes joy and security in children. Regardless of how wronged you feel, just remember your children are watching how you handle conflicts. How do you handle your anger? Do you bury it with food? Do you scream? Do you withdraw or do you pout? It’s funny how angry we feel when our children don’t handle their emotions like adults, while we’re so quick to forgive ourselves for handling ours like toddlers. No one is perfect, but one of the most important parenting choices you can make is teaching your children how to handle conflict. Round 1: In the Community Whether it’s in the grocery store arguing over a coupon, at church frustrated with a fellow churchgoer’s gossiping or in traffic when someone zips in front of you toppling the well-placed grocery bag and sending oranges under your feet, your patience is tested constantly. We forget that our reactions to these frustrations are frequently witnessed by our little ones. Don’t cower from a conflict, but handle yourself with grace. So often, we worry more about how the Jones feel about our actions than we worry about what our children learn from us. So, remember, if you put on the proverbial boxing gloves out in your community, allow your children to watch how you navigate conflict – whether it ends in your favor or not. Round 2: At Work How do you handle work fights? We have more to worry about when losing our tempers at work. Your job and work life mirrors the school life of your child. There are bullies, unfairness, evaluation, demands and generalized stress. We come home from a hard day, roll our eyes at our son’s hyperactivity and snap at our teenage daughter’s pink-streaked hair. After all, the children are safer to take our frustrations out on. After our stressful day, we just want them to do their chores, do their homework, be grateful for their nutritious dinner and go to bed without a struggle. Do you ever wonder what goes into your children’s mood after a tough day of peers, teachers, rules and challenges to their intellect? Try to spend time with your child discussing their day, assessing their mood and checking your own mood after both of you have had a stressful day. No doubt they can learn from you how to manage stress and fights at work/school. Be sure you’re modeling how you’d like your children to handle bullies and unfair authority figures. This is tough, isn’t it? Imagine being seven-years-old! Round 3: With Friends Now we’re getting closer to our hearts – our friends. When we conflict with peers, a part of us aches. We tell our children that their boyfriends/girlfriends are “puppy love” and that their best friend will say that they’re sorry and they love them again tomorrow. Don’t undermine the pain they experience even by fifteen minutes of rejection from a beloved friend. We don’t want to imply that they are weak and don’t have the
right to their feelings; instead, use this time to guide them. Practice forgiveness, boundaries and humility within your own friendships, which will not only enhance your friendships, but will also model good behavior and conflict management for your children. Round 4: Extended Family (Uh-oh, I’ve suddenly become aware that my extended family may have beelined to this section!) Navigating all the unique personalities in our families can be a challenge to say the least. Conflicts with our extended family members have ripples that extend to the far reaches of our daily experiences. Aunt Sophie told Cousin Mary that you didn’t even try her new acorn pie and that your son needs to be on ADHD medication because he did not say, “Yes, ma’am” to Grandma Amelia. Uncle Mark said that your husband wasn’t “worth a spit” and should provide more for your family, while Grandma Agnes pressures you about having another child. People call these the holidays?! These vacation outings can be just as stressful as the typical work week. Remember, your children are in the midst of these interactions. It remains vital that you communicate your frustrations appropriately and guide them through these very sensitive interactions. Keep in mind that you should always be prepared to protect your children and husband/wife from passive assaults by extended family members. Practice being humble, but genuine. Count blessings, not criticisms. It is a difficult balance and important lesson for the kids. In the meantime, pass the gravy. TKO: The Kids’ Own Home From the community to the living room, we’ve made full-circle of this fighting rink. Each layer of connectedness will reveal its own challenges; perhaps none more important, however, than the conflicts within the home. Children will directly mirror their conflict style from their parents. How do you handle conflicts with your spouse? Are you the quiet treatment type or the aggressive type? Before you scold children for poor conflict management with their sibling, ask yourself where they learned their resolution style. Encourage your children to talk out their issues rather than swooping in and rescuing each of them from conflict and playing the referee. No one does this for your marriage and things don’t always work out fairly in life. Supporting your children as they feel the struggles of conflict is important, but rescuing them from those feelings is a disservice. Go quietly into these holidays. Have a devotional about patience and families to prepare for the conflicts to come. Being prepared and pre-emptive is the best way to approach any conflict. Don’t think of it as being prepared with fight strategy – but, instead, with peace strategy. You never know . . . maybe others will learn something, too. Not just the kids. (You know who I mean.)
Dr. Lea Pritchard-Boone is the mother of Dalton (3) and wife to Austin. She is Psychology Fellow of the Behavioral Health Group, LLC, in Florence and focuses primarily on treating children and adolescents.
She Magazine • November 2008 • 139
Celebrate • Encourage • Reward
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Symptoms • Very heavy menstrual bleeding some times with clots • Anemia - resulting in fatigue due to low blood count • Pelvic pain or pressure leading to constipation and/or urinary frequency • Enlarged abdomen
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140 • November 2008 • She Magazine
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 141
It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Join us for our Annual Holiday Open House Gourmet goodies & hot cider!
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How to Deal with
Holiday
CONFLICT
Squelch holiday stress before it even begins - yes, you can!
F
Families in conflict have unrealistically high expectations. They have a tendency to base the way they expect a holiday get-together to go on the June Cleaver mentality. They expect things to be pretty near perfect and everyone to get along at all times. Holidays are already very stressful times of
the year because of all the additional tasks that we try to accomplish. We try to fit in parties and special fellowship times at work, church and with friends. We bake extra goodies and buy gifts and seem to have lots of extra errands to run and items to pick up. All of
by Ouida K. Page
this takes extra time and energy and organized planning. If you don’t plan all your trips, you may find yourself running in circles and exhausted before the holiday arrives.
by keeping things productive and creating a positive atmosphere. Another stressor is when you have family staying with you for the holiday.
Bathe your holiday in prayer and stay on your own individual routine of
It can change your routines, which can become very nerve-wracking. You will have
reading your Bible and having your personal devotion. What determines how things
more to do at the house and may need to cook more and at different times. For the
go during your holiday has a lot to do with your own reactions to the people in your
flexible individual, this is not as anxiety-provoking as for the more-organized, less-
house and their behavior and what you do and say when negative situations arise. If
spontaneous planner. For this particular individual, sticking with a similar routine will
you stay calm and peaceful and retain a positive forgiving attitude, it will have a huge
probably work better for them. Getting up at the same time, having a devotion and
impact on the people in your house and their behavior.
beginning the day with their typical cleaning, organizing and morning tasks will have
Holidays are not a good time to sit down with the people in conflict and dis-
a more calming effect than staying in the bed like the rest of the household and then
cuss past hurts and areas where they were offended. Sometimes, counseling is nec-
jumping up in wide-open gear.
essary with an objective person to delineate areas that need to be addressed and
Families that have individuals who create conflict are not going to change
worked on. If issues are brought up during the holidays, you can suggest that these
over the holidays. Expect the conflict and try to minimize it, focusing on more pos-
be addressed at a later date with a professional and not when all of the family is pres-
itive issues. Knowing that the conflict will arise and trying to stay focused on a more
ent for celebrating a holiday. If a situation does escalate, you can suggest that the two
positive note will be very helpful in managing the difference. Identify needed skills
individuals in conflict step outside for some fresh air – especially if they are loud and
that will help you and determine which ones the individuals in conflict possess.
upsetting the rest of the family. Sometimes ,playing music in the background can be
Assign these tasks to them, keeping them busy and productively occupied and have
very helpful in creating a peaceful atmosphere.
them in different areas of the house or have one of them run your errands if possible. You can’t stop the conflict, but you can hopefully help avoid explosive situations
I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season and can relax and rest and identify some areas that will help you to most successfully achieve this.
Ouida Page is a Licensed Professional and National Board Certified Counselor. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing and is a member of Sigma Theta Tau (International Honor Society of Nursing). She has been in private practice in the Hartsville and Florence areas for 15 years, specializing in families and issues relating to children, adolescents and women of all ages. She is married and has one son attending Wofford College.You may contact her at 843-398-0915.
RELAXATION
She Magazine • November 2008 • 143
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144 • November 2008 • She Magazine
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She Magazine â&#x20AC;˘ November 2008 â&#x20AC;˘ 145
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Sincerely Yours,
Jumana A. Swindler
i am
I am continuing to feel a little on edge, even though the excitement's building for the holidays coming 'round the bend. And, if you're reading this column right now, you already know more than me - you know who the new president and vice president are, (since I am writing this in October) and by now, I bet just about all of you have plans for Thanksgiving - even the biggest of procrastinators. You have taken down the dangling cloth spooks hanging in your trees and moved the little jack o' lanterns back to the attic for next year's ghoulish month of fall celebration. But even as comforting as possessing all that political knowledge may be, and the fact that those horribly despicable election ads have shut down, and you may even have been frisky enough to put up your horn of plenty flag, - - just about everyone I chat with lately continues to feel unnerved about the economy. Whether it's thinned down your pocket book or the anxiety induced by the shake down on Wall Street, in banking, fluctuating gas prices and grocery costs, I think generally all of us are a bit uneasy these days. I must confess that despite the warnings from friends and acquaintances against opening up and reviewing my 401K statement, recently my curiosity got the best of me. In a fit of confidence, somehow believing that my personal future retirement dollars were unaffected by the rest of the country's economic downturn, I was shocked into reality by finding that I was included among the raging Americans watching their investments plunge. The realization that my own nest egg had been painfully prematurely poached spurred me on to action. So, I decided to become an entrepreneur of sorts, assuming the role of an inventor to produce the perfect product which would result in a pay of millions of dollars to eliminate all my debt, sustain me through the golden years and even equip my home with a flat screen TV in every room, for even more access and visibility of my favorite Lifetime Channel movies all around the house. There have been some great product ideas
afloat in my head for awhile. (And I'll be glad to share 'em as long as you don’t go stealing them and cashing in as if they were your own creations.) I even toyed with the thought of inviting the guy on that commercial to come out and test my inventions. You know the fellow. He's the one with jet black hair and moustache that screams at you from the screen, ordering you to buy a fabulous rotary mop, or the amazing cleanser that you can also use to clean your dentures or whiten your smile. He really pushes the "fabulous vegi-matic" this time of year, too. He's also the dude who adds the promise, "and if you call this very minute, you'll get a second vegi-matic absolutely free." (Sounds like this novel gift, since you can get one for nothing, is leaping from the shelves, doesn’t it?) Yet, he still may be just the right tester for my brainstorms if you readers don’t help me. OK. Here goes…. How about for us corporate women, hose developed with steel threads so they won’t run, stretch out of proportion or even need to be washed (since they would probably rust.) How great is that? At 6.99 a pair, if I sell a million, I can rest easy no matter how drastically my personal wealth sinks. And, I won’t even have to buy storage space to keep up with the inventory or have egg cartons made for them for distribution. We'll call them Heavenly Hose because they last forever and come with a life time warranty. Unless of course you gain weight, then you have to find someone with a larger size and borrow a pair from them. Then, there's the "ever-dure," durable guaranteed shoes. You know the ones, like the people of Israel wore in the Bible - the fashion wear modeled throughout those 40 years they wandered in the wilderness. Remember, the soles of their shoes never wore out before they made it to the Promised Land. Boy, they just don’t make pumps with heels like they used in 2000 BC. We could call them Perpetual Pumps. I'm also considering creating reusable paper towels. No matter how many rolls I seem to buy, I always run out before my weekly grocery store run. Reusable, wrinkle- free tinfoil fits in the same category. For the figure conscious, how about chocolate bars and fudge ripple ice cream with ZERO
Weight Watcher points. There's just gotta be a way to keep the weight worry out of dessert over-indulgence. That would truly bring in a fortune from consumer demand. How about a car without a gas tank, that runs on Double A Batteries. Now, mind you, that's AA, not AAA - because I never seem to be able to find the triples in my junk drawers or supply closet, but doubles apparently multiply around my house. There are some even where I keep the silverware. Targeting money-making schemes to animal lovers often is the trick to building one's fortune. How about pet shampoo that makes your little pampered poochy smell like your choice of flower or food? I would much prefer my Westie to reek of the odor of a fresh baked chocolate cake than the cat poop she prefers to roll in during her romps in my backyard. I suggested interactive movies. Now how many of you, be truthful gals my age, would love to zip open your television screen and play the romantic lead opposite Richard Gere on occasion. Who would need E-Harmony when you could have those special interludes with the star of your choice? And, more down to earth, would be my invention of an "invisible fanny belt for traveling. My family, mainly my son Adam, scoffs at me because I like the convenience of those touristy-looking compartments when we go on vacations or occasional RV adventures. I would love to see one that could fit on your body, blending in to the wrinkles in your skin, without bulging at your side and making you look like a geek on the go. And best of all, what would you think if grocery stores and Target had mobile units, so they would come to you for all your purchasing needs on demand. You would never have to leave home. It would eliminate the expense for gas to get there and you would never have to spend hours searching for a parking space close to the front door. Yep, I'm feeling pretty good about my financial future ahead with all this work in progress. But if any of these things have already been patented, don’t tell me. Just wrap one up and send it to me for Christmas this year. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Jumana Swindler is the director of Marketing and Public Relations at McLeod Health. She lives in Florence and has one son, Adam, who is often the subject of her writing.
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She Magazine • November 2008 • 147
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What is most important to you in life?
School: Sophomore at Hartsville High School
God, my family and being true to myself
Sports: Softball is a HUGE part of my life. I have played for the HHS Red Foxes since I was in the seventh grade. I have also played travel softball for the Scotland Heat, Carolina Craze and Palmetto Rage.
Accomplishments: Active member of my youth group at Kelleytown Baptist Church; International Baccalaureate Program at Hartsville High School; Member of the Beta Club, National Honor Society and the Spanish Club; Hartsville High Softball Team for the past four years.
Dreams for the Future: After graduating high school, my goal is to attend college and become a Forensic Scientist. I also would like to work with children – perhaps coaching softball or baseball.
I am Most Proud of: being a member of the Hartsville Ponytail Softball Team that represented South Carolina in the World Series in Alexandria, Louisiana.
I think the world would be a better place if . . .
people learned to respect each other – despite their differences.
who’s that girl? Family:
taylor burch
Parents, Eric and Julie Burch; twin sister, Allison (15); brother, Worth (12) and my beloved Miniature Cocker Spaniel, Izzie
Favorite Movie: Sweet Home Alabama Favorite Song: “Amazed” by Lonestar Favorite Book: The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks The coolest person I know: Brandy Berghorn, a coach and teacher at Hartsville High School. She is strong – mentally and physically. She is easy to talk to and she genuinely listens when
teenagers talk to her. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? the ability to read minds. It would be awesome to know what people were honestly thinking. What do you think is the most important event/thing that has taken place during your lifetime? 9/11. It really
showed that everything and everyone is vulnerable to terrorism, crime and loss – no matter what country you live in. If I could pass one law, it would be . . . for school to start later. I sure could use the extra sleep!
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The giltz and glam of the holidays are on their way,
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DR. JOSEPH CARTER • DR. STEPHEN TUELL
Often, back pain or injury doesn’t happen as the result of a major accident. It is the simple everyday task that can be a real pain in the back.
PAIN MANAGEMENT IS OUR SPECIALTY.
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