ON THE COVER
ANYONE WITH THE SMALLEST AMOUNT OF PADDLING EXPERIENCE might imagine
that sex in a canoe would require great skill. But considering that the canoe was the primary mode of transportation in the Canadian wilderness for thousands of years, it’s possible that many people became highly skilled in the art of canoe love. The late, great author and historian Pierre Berton is widely credited with saying that this was the quintessentially Canadian skill: “A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.” Really? Canoes must have been much bigger back in the day. Bigger than the narrow, tippy, plastic numbers you might find on the beach today. Sex in a modern canoe probably seems completely unrealistic to most people. Besides, a tent is much more
BY ROGER KLEIN
// PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIA KLEIN
comfortable. Even so, an Environics poll conducted in 2013 found that 14 percent of Ontario respondents had actually tested their nautical nookie skills. In the eventuality that you and your partner decide to give canoe love a whirl, there are a few things to consider. First, you probably want to remove the yoke (some hand tools required)—that’s the bar across the middle—to prevent you from being trapped if the canoe flips mid-act. Second, grab that cushion off the chaise and throw it in the bottom for comfort. And last but most important, wear your PFD—because you probably won’t get it right the first time.
PIERRE BERTON (1920—2004) was a prolific Canadian writer, journalist and broadcaster, the author of 50 books about Canadiana, Canadian history and popular culture. Born in the Yukon, Berton was widely viewed as an expert on the Far North. As a writer he resisted censorship and challenged conservative thinking, tackling taboo subjects such apartheid, anti-semitism and even teenage sex (which ultimately got him fired from Maclean’s magazine in 1963). He went on to spend 39 years as a guest on CBC’s Front Page Challenge. Later in his life, Berton waded into more controversy by discussing his 40 years of experience with recreational cannabis on two CBC television programs, Play and Rick Mercer Report. He even gave a “celebrity tip” on how to roll a joint. Though the exact origins of the famous Berton’s Tip: love-in-a-canoe quote are disputed, Berton was How to Roll known to be happy to take credit for it. a Joint!
22
SUMMER 2022 ON THE BAY
