leading by example

self-sufficient,” she says. After graduating from high school, Kris wasn’t sure what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. So she earned her degree in cosmetology and soon after, began working at an upscale salon in Newport Beach, CA.

“I would say hairstyling was a curve along my winding path that gave me invaluable tools I continue to draw on today,” Kris says. “It was so great for me because I was an extremely shy kid and didn’t have a lot of self-confidence. When you get that kind of training you’re sort of forced to interact with people.”

Kris soon caught the eye of leaders in the salon’s training program. They asked her if she would be interested in teaching classes for new assistants. After just a few classes, Kris fell in love with teaching and decided to go back to school. “Maybe it’s in the genes because several members of my family are in education.” and she found it in an unlikely place. After researching companies that offered tuition reimbursement and health insurance, she found Federal Express.

“You got full benefits even if you just worked part-time so I got a job there working on the tarmac at the airport with steel-toed boots,” she says laughing. “So I went from being a hairstylist and being fancy all day, focused on beauty and appearance and everything, to working at the airport driving these huge pieces of equipment all over.”

After two years at community college, Kris earned her Associate’s degree and was then accepted at the University of California, Berkeley, one of the most prestigious colleges in the United States. But she wasn’t done yet. Her love for knowledge, teaching and research fueled her desire to complete her master’s at San Francisco State University. Kris had no idea SFSU would be a stepping stone to a life in Fargo, North Dakota.

Love

It was a setup. Kris was invited to a party where some friends had planned on fixing her up with a guy named Marc. “It turns out everyone at this party [including Marc] knew I was getting fixed up with my husband and I was the only person who didn’t know,” she says. “So I was the only clueless person there!”

While continuing to work at the salon, Kris started with an ethics class at a local community college and was immediately blown away by the class’ professor and content. “It was a turning point for me,” she recalls. “I realized there are a lot of things wrong in the world and I always thought about those sorts of things, but I didn’t realize there were fields that you could study about this stuff—that academic studies could and should be applied to real world problems. There were whole populations of people who did nothing but think about this stuff!”

Kris’ mother, Lana Schwartz, noticed an immediate change in her daughter’s confidence and view of the world as soon as she began taking classes. “She was interested in knowing and finding out everything she could about a subject,” Lana says. “She just developed an excitement about it and she was a good student.”

Kris absorbed academic life and for the first time began to believe she could accomplish anything. But to continue her education, she needed a new job with better benefits

Marc, an Information Technology professional at NDSU, says he was smitten from the start. “I remember looking across the room and seeing her and thought, ‘she looks like a model—are you kidding me,’” he says laughing. Turns out the two had a lot in common. The couple began dating and Marc, being a smart guy, quickly learned that Kris was deeply devoted to her new puppy, Beans. “I remember going to the store and buying treats and slipping them to Beans during our walks,” says Marc. “Beans was normally an aloof dog so Kris was very impressed he took a shine to me.” Marc’s winning strategy was remembered at their wedding in 2000 when the pastor said the fastest way to Kris’ heart was through her dog’s stomach.

Shortly after their marriage, they chose to make their home in Fargo. The move allowed Marc, a Fargo native, and Kris, originally from Ohio, the opportunity to return to their Midwestern values and be close to family. Two years later their son, Noah, was born. The following year a baby girl, Lydia, joined the family.

“We planned that [having the kids close in age] and for the first two years of their lives we thought, ‘what were we thinking, we will not survive this’” says Kris. “But they are really good buddies and it’s the best blessing the other one could ever have.”

As Noah grew, Kris noticed he had a lot of sensory sensitivities—he would cover his ears, had trouble sleeping, struggled with coordination and had issues with food textures. Something told her this wasn’t typical. She expressed her concern to her pediatrician who took a ‘let’s wait and see’ approach. “I knew there was something wrong, but I couldn’t really put my finger on it,” she recalls.

So Kris followed her instincts and began collecting information. She poured through research, reading books and journals looking for something that reflected what she was seeing in Noah. Then she discovered Asperger Syndrome. That was it. Noah had Asperger’s.

Discovery

Asperger Syndrome is a disorder on the autism spectrum. It’s characterized by difficulties in social interaction and restricted patterns of behavior, but is different than other forms of autism in that people with Asperger’s maintain their linguistic and cognitive developments. Physical clumsiness and an atypical use of vocabulary frequently appear in people with Asperger’s, both of which Noah demonstrated. “As he got older, he had really precocious speech, he could speak early and had a vocabulary of someone much older than him—he still does,” explains Kris. “He gets along with adults because he talks like a little professor.”

Marc says Kris’ passion for finding out and ultimately helping identify Asperger’s still amazes him. “I’m in awe that she just figured it out,” he says. “Asperger’s is becoming more well-known, but when we found out, it was very obscure in this region of the country.”

Kris also discovered Noah qualified for schooling through the Southeast Human Service Center, a state-run and state-funded agency for kids with developmental disabilities. When Noah turned 3, the agency recommended an early intervention program for him at public school. Kris says it was a nightmare. “He was in a room with kids who had no speech, who had post-traumatic stress disorder, and a whole lot of other issues,” she explains. “Obviously those kids needed intervention too, but there was all this research coming out about how putting kids with Asperger’s in certain special-education settings was bad placement. I knew there was a window of opportunity for early intervention for kids on the autism spectrum that is critical to their future success.”

Kris spoke to the special-education director who essentially said his hands were tied—this was the only place for Noah in the public school system. “I thought, ‘wow, this seems like a little bit of a broken system here,’” she says. “There were, and continue to be, significant gaps in the early childhood education system for kids on the autism spectrum and we have no comprehensive system in place to assess young children to determine if they have developmental delays until kindergarten. That’s a problem.”

While attending a local support group for parents of extra-needs-based kids, Kris heard the same struggle come up again and again: parents explaining that their kids were misunderstood and that no one seemed to notice or care, or if they did, they didn’t have the necessary tools and resources to help these kids adjust to life and learning in the classroom.

“I found out there is this huge population of kids, around 12% in the Fargo Public Schools that have an IEP, which is an Individual Education Plan,” she recalls. “These kids are supposed to have support at school, but the schools use their own criteria for determining what, if any, help these kids need. So a lot of kids with Asperger’s didn’t qualify because it’s kind of a hidden disability."

Kris, along with a group of other parents and professionals, recognized that if more people [teachers, police officers, bus drivers, politicians] understood these disabilities it would be better for the children with special needs and everyone around them. So they decided to do something about it and in 2006, founded the non-profit Red River Valley Asperger Network [RRVAN].

“What if you’re a working mom, single, four kids, and a kid with Asperger’s – what can you do,” she wondered.

“You can’t advocate for that child as well, you might not even know how or where to get an assessment or a diagnosis. Our kids often get labeled as having emotional or behavioral problems when their issues can be understood and mitigated through an understanding of Asperger’s. I feel the good fortune to be able to do something about that, so it started that way.”

A completely volunteer driven organization, RRVAN’s mission is to educate, empower, advocate and support individuals with Asperger Syndrome, their families and the community. RRVAN has been able to educate families, community leaders and the general public through countless presentations, conferences, health fairs and special events across the region.

“I'm so honored to count myself among the trailblazers that worked hard to promote an understanding of Asperger's,” Kris says. “There is much more to do, but many kids and families are reaping the rewards of the efforts of the Red River Valley Asperger Network because compassion is beginning to replace misunderstanding.” obligation

Throughout the course of her research on Asperger’s and helping to educate local and state leaders through RRVAN, Kris says she discovered not one member of the Fargo School Board knew much about autism spectrum disorders or had a child with extra needs. “So I figured if 12% of students are on IEPs and there are 9 school board members, at least one of them should have that experience,” she says.

Instead of waiting for someone else to do something about the situation, Kris was encouraged by a mentor to do it herself. In the fall of 2009, she began attending school board meetings in an effort to determine if she could be a valuable addition.

“I think anyone can run for public office if they have a conviction for something and they just listen to what people say,” she says. “I don’t think I would have run if I hadn’t had the message resonate with so many people.”

Kris recalled campaigning on the north side of Fargo. She wanted to know if what she cared about mattered to other people. “What’s the point of running for school board if you care about something no one gives a crap about?”

As she went from door to door she met a man sitting in a lawn chair with his garage door open. She learned his daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s as a senior in high school. He confided in Kris that he knew all through school his daughter was smart, but he couldn’t figure out why she was getting bad grades or always getting in trouble.

“I thought, ‘I can help people; I can do something about that,’” Kris recalls. “Here’s this man that out of the blue, I had never met before in my life, who had this story and he said ‘I’m going to vote for you, I’m going to tell everyone I know to vote for you because somebody needs to care about these kids.’” As they both cried, Kris told him, “I’ll do the best I can.”

And in June this year, her hard work paid off. She won a seat on the Fargo School Board and four years to make a difference.

Marc admires the qualities in his wife that help drive her success. “She’s a hard worker, devoted to our family and takes on projects with a seriousness and commitment that is immeasurable,” he says. Marc knows she will make the most of her four-year term.

“I know running for office is an unusual thing to do, but I’m just that crazy about kids,” Kris says. “Kids aren’t one size fits all and education has worked that way for too long. I think I can help make some changes.” advocate

As a graduate student in San Francisco, Kris struggled with what she wanted to do next. While attending a church service, she learned a lesson she would turn to many times over the years. The pastor spoke about people coming to him when they are lost or struggling with an addiction or a loss and they would ask him ‘What can I do, I feel miserable. What can I do?’

“He said he would always tell them to find a load and pull it,” Kris recalls. “I have repeated this before to other people because it made so much sense to me. Help other people and find something useful to do and do that and then it will come to you. You’ll find your path or a gift you didn’t know you had or you’ll realize there’s such a need for something and then you can be helpful there.”

And she has certainly helped her son. Partly because of Kris’ perseverance and willingness to find a good fit for her son, Noah is making great strides and is currently functioning well in public school.

Lana says she believes this is just the beginning of what her daughter will accomplish as a woman, wife, mother and community leader. “She never considered herself an activist but she is,” Lana says. “I’m so proud that she’s found a voice and a voice to make a difference.”

“I’ve got four years and I’m going to make the best of it and do whatever I can,” Kris says. “I feel like if I make decisions based on my convictions and use the information I have, do good research and talk to teachers, community leaders and constituents and families, I can do something useful in four years.”

Kris Wallman found a load…she didn’t complain about it…she didn’t wait for someone else to do something about…she’s pulling it.