tame the to-dolist

story by | dani parkos fluge

Ihavethis terrible fear that when I die, the only evidence representing my existence here will be the mountain of crossed off to-do lists on my desk, in my purse, on my phone and in several notebooks scattered throughout my house. I have always been such a to-do-er, that I’ve started to wonder what I'm DOING here at all!

Do you feel like getting ahead is some farfetched dream?

Do you often ask yourself, am I doing OK at work? Are we out of milk? Do I see my children enough? When is the deadline for skating sign-up? Did I pick up the dry cleaning? Am I giving my partner the attention our relationship needs and deserves? Did I shut off the flat iron? Do you ever feel like you are going in a hundred different directions, but not really going anywhere? Perhaps you're busy all day but have nothing to show for your busyness.

So what’s a gal to do? How do we keep it all straight and assure nothing gets missed or forgotten and keep our own sanity? Make a list of course! A list of grocery goodies, treks to Target, gifts to get, appointments to make/keep, the list goes on and on and on.

Except how do we find a happy medium, documenting all the important things we want/need to accomplish, yet being able to spend more time with the people in our life rather than the list that controls it? Here are a few tips I’ve found help keep my lengthy list in check:

pick 3-5 tasks from your to-do list

We add tasks to our lists at a much faster rate than we delete them. Looking at a large list can be distracting and overwhelming. Whether we want to believe it or not, it also interferes with your ability to focus on the task at hand. Pick only a few tasks you would like to hown in on for the day and write them on a separate piece of paper, a white board, an index card, in your planner or some other place that is separate from your big list. This will help you focus ONLY on those specific tasks.

Minimize Distractions

Everything and everyone is fighting for our attention. If you are trying to finish something and the phone rings, don't answer it [unless it is an emergency]. Save TV and internet surfing as rewards for completing the tasks you want to do. Use a timer to let your kids know when you will be available to give them your full attention once you're finished, or get them involved in an activity or assign them their own task. stop multi-tasking take breaks

You might be proud of the fact that you can multi-task; I know I was! I could make a pot of coffee, while talking on the phone, filling a sippy cup, and composing an email in my head. Problem is the coffee would be too weak, I vaguely could recall the details of the call, the cup was missing its plug resulting in a juice puddle on the floor and I couldn’t remember who I was sending an email to. Multi-tasking keeps your brain going in too many directions. Start and finish a task before you move on to the next one.

I know; you’re probably thinking, “Take a break?! You haven’t seen my list!” But what if it made you more focused and productive? Just walk away and take fifteen to thirty minutes [or longer] to clear your mind and then get back to it.

Accomplish List

Sometimes getting caught up in all there is to do can feel like we've accomplished nothing, but in reality you have done more than you give yourself credit for. At the end of the day, take a few minutes to reflect on your crossed off list and jot down everything else you did, including the number of diapers you changed, emails you replied to, calls you took, loads of laundry you did, or meals you made. Trust me, there is something about adding completed tasks to your list, just to cross them off. A checkmark, scribble or line indicates VICTORY! Focus more on what you did, instead of what you didn't do. I love to-do lists and I won’t be getting rid of mine anytime soon. But if there is anything I’ve learned from the juggling act of being a mom, wife, daughter, friend, business owner, and having a “have to do it all for everyone” mentality, is put your energy in the right place and give yourself the credit you deserve. The intention of our to-do list is to help us maintain some sanity and not to define who we are. So, from time to time ask yourself: Is there a list for missing out on life? Hmmm….I wonder.

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