just a thought

chain. I stewed for a while, and then crafted a message that attempted to be positive and productive...and, well nicer in tone. I—almost—felt the [cyber] pat-on-the-head and was told that I was “naïve,” among other things.

On a recent trip through the coffee drive-up window a chipper, heavily caffeinated, very polite voice greeted each customer with the low-down of the day’s specials. Only this time, he was interrupted mid-sentence by an exhausted, coffee-starved, rushed mom of three who blurted out her order with gusto: “ No thanks, I’d like a Venti bold with extra cream and three Splendas. That’s all. Nothing else. Thank you.” The car practically peeled around the corner to collect her liquid gold.

The rude emails stopped…or, they took me off their list, for a time. Either way, I got calls, emails, and texts thanking me for trying to change the tone.

When it comes to being nice, we’re all human and slip up from time to time. There are moments when it takes an inscription on a sign—or a freckle-faced 10 year old—to remind us that “nice matters.” As parents, we drill this into our kids’ heads, “be kind…be nice… that’s mean.” Lest we think they’re blowing us off… they hear us!

That customer was me. I was in a mad-dash to get the kids to their activities…and did I mention in desperate need of a java jolt? Excuses aside…

My daughter, Quinn, jumped to the defense of the high-spirited barista quoting the sign in our home, “ah-hem, mom ‘ because nice matters…’ you were kinda rude to that guy and probably hurt his feelings. He’s just doing his job.” GULP

Nobody dishes out a dose of humility quite like a child.

I was embarrassed. “You’re right, honey. I was rude, wasn’t I? I’ll fix it.” I immediately apologized for sounding rushed and not very nice. Fortunately for me, the server was courteous. He accepted my apology…and even thanked me for it! WOW—NOW, THAT’S NICE.

I have thought about that experience many times since then, especially when my impulse is teetering on ill-mannered.

Being nice is contagious and basic. It’s not always easy, and may require some caffeine at times, but it really does matter. In fact, being kind shows its own strength. We should never confuse it with being weak or naïve.

Humans crave “nice.” Most of the world is kind. If you’re nice, people will ignore just about anything—a soggy cheeseburger when you ordered the pizza, traffic blunders, or even a rude, rushed customer. A nice affect will almost always deflect a nasty response. We refer friends to businesses with nice people. And, heck, I’ve even spent more money on things I didn’t know I “needed” when the salesperson seems genuine!

It makes sense! Whether you’re in business, sales, or just an average mom in need of caffeine, being nice puts us on top.

And, if that’s not enough—there are even health benefits to being nice! Social Scientists have researched and studied the effects of being kind. Results show that simply being nice:

• decreases stress-related health problems

• increases our sense of self-worth, optimism, and happiness

• promotes a healthy immune system

• decreases our awareness and sensitivity of physical pain

• may reverse feelings of depression, hostility and isolation [who wants to be around someone mean!]

• and provides people with a helper’s high

For Pete’s sake, do it for your health! Politely grab your cup of Joe and spread your smiles…”because nice matters.”

Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University, in Philadelphia.

TV ads. You see them every day, but how often do you know a family who’s in one?

Meet Jennifer Vigen-Iverson, 5-year-old Carter and 9-year-old MacKenzie. They and other families star in Sanford Children’s free-spirited commercials that put you in the whimsical world of a child.

“Where we’re free to imagine, explore and discover...” says the narrator. “Where we dream big and transform our world.” the real world at Children’s

For Jennifer, it’s more than just a commercial. Her connection with Sanford Children’s began in 1995 when she started her nursing career in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. In 2001 she transitioned to Sanford Children’s Clinic, where today she works three 12-hour shifts a week—and loves it.

Carter’s scenes included looking through a book with Jennifer, standing next to Dr. Tiongson, and at the end watching MacKenzie jump on the exam table.

“That’s the moment when she transforms into a rock star,” says Jennifer, laughing. The commercial includes animation, giving it that magical, everything-is-possible feel.

In her 16 years at Sanford Children’s, Jennifer has seen the remarkable difference when children receive care that’s just for them and provided by board-certified pediatricians—the perfect blend of art and science.

“Kids are often scared when they come to the doctor’s. We always give them time to explore, whether that means getting a closer look at the stethoscope or talking about the colorful, kid-friendly surroundings,” she says. “Making it a fun experience is key.”