some medical research suggests the ideal time between babies is 24 to 35 months

Yes, kiddos are hard work. But aren’t they great? Maybe you’re not there yet, but odds are that at some point you are going say to yourself, “I think I’m ready for another.” But what about your tot?

#2 on the docket

So, that wee one has become a tot and you’re starting to think about adding to your brood. The hours of labor, endless sleepless nights, sore nipples and spit up stained shirts are faded memories…for the most part! But this time around you can’t just worry about you. You have to worry about how this little person, currently the center of the universe under your roof, is going to make this transition and become a fabulous sibling. Help your tot welcome baby with open arms:

• here’s what’s comin’ Talk about the new baby and what your tot can expect. The baby is going to cry, need his diaper changed, eat and sleep.

• the big kahoona Being a big brother/sister is a big deal so make sure you reinforce how important this role is going to be.

• movin’ on up If your tot is currently sleeping in the crib you plan to use with the new baby, make sure you transition him to a new bed well in advance of baby’s arrival. You don’t want the tot thinking the baby stole his bed!

• his say Let your tot pick out items for the new baby. This gives him some control.

Once baby has arrived, carve out some time for just you and your tot. He used to have all of your attention, so give him some extra now when you can.

Ican still remember my beautiful, little 3 year-old building her block tower on the living room floor. She was in her own world building away, making sure each level was its own color. The tower got taller and taller and then too tall…over it went. My precious, princess hit the floor with both hands and yelled, “OH, SH#@!” What?! That potty mouth can’t be my daughter!

I swear!

Our preschoolers are continually building their vocabulary and sometimes bad words can also enter their repartee. It’s important to remember that your preschooler probably doesn’t even know the meaning of these words or phrases. He won’t know there is something wrong with what he said until you react. Here are some tips to make sure your little sailor rights his potty mouth ways: don’t think so If your preschooler is using bad words with the intention of getting something he wants, don’t let him get it! If he gets results, it will only reinforce the usage. who me Yeah, you! Watch what’s coming out of your mouth. You can’t freak out about your preschooler saying whatever if it consistently comes out of your mouth. Clean it up!

• remain calm No word has power until you give it power by reacting, so don’t over react. Be very casual when you address bad word usage. Simply tell him what he said and that it could make someone feel bad or uncomfortable and that he won’t want that. Then leave it at that. No need to draw too much attention to a bad behavior.

• try this Now that you have calmly explained the not-so-good about the bad word[s] used, offer your preschooler some alternative options that deliver the same message. When you hear him use these alternatives, be sure to give it some positive attention.

• or else For the really bad words, determine the consequence for using them and let your preschooler know in a calm, firm voice what happens if he does it again. Then be ready to enforce it!

Stepping into someone else’s world can be very fun. Every family does things differently. But who knew that eating mac & cheese and sleeping on the floor at someone else’s house could be so much fun and cause you and your big kid some anxiety.

nitey-nite

The friend sleepover is a rite of passage, but there is no magical age for the first one to occur. Every child is different and you need to be comfortable too. If your big kid is begging to sleep over and he is a pretty flexible kid, he is probably ready. But if he is more cautious and doesn’t seem “all in,” don’t push it. A parent-driven sleepover could end badly. When your big kid is ready, here are some tips to make that first of many sleepovers a success:

• no have to Again, there is no magical age where your big kid should be going on sleepovers. There is also no development need for your child to go on a sleepover, so relax if he just isn’t ready.

• talk it out A play date is all well and good until the sun goes down. It can get a little scary at someone else’s house. You need to do your best Sherlock Holmes impression and determine what his concerns are if your big kid seems reluctant to accept a sleepover invitation. It could be as simple as worrying about what will be for dinner or where exactly he will sleep.

• it’s ok Reassure your big kid that he can call you anytime he wants or needs you. Also let him know it is perfectly OK if he wants to come home or stay until morning.

• act it out Do some role planning with your big kid on scenarios that might come up. What if he wets the bed, has a bad dream or doesn’t like what’s for dinner?