preschoolers [3–5 years]

Your role as caregiver is to mold this young human being into a fine, upstanding citizen who knows right from wrong and always chooses right. And how exactly will you do this… fact or fiction…using bribery isn’t an effective teaching tool Unfortunately, this is the case…FACT! Bribery involves offering something as a reward for something that is currently happening or you anticipate it is going to happen. Bribery is almost always a bad idea, but let’s face it, you are going to use it. The important thing is to use it sparingly and in situations where a certain behavior is mandatory. Bribery to eat his peas, not such a good idea. Bribery to sit quietly during his big sister’s Christmas program, allowable. Using rewards are a far better way to teach appropriate behavior. So, what’s the difference:

• timing Rewards offer positive reinforcement because the desirable behavior has already occurred. You aren’t buying the behavior like you are with bribery, “Ok, you can have what you want but then you have to do what I want.”

• do it again The real kicker with bribery is it can actually teach kiddos to act out so they can get what they want. Bummer!

• say it right There is a fine line between bribery and rewards. How you phrase the reinforcement, says a lot. Statements like, "If___, then ___." Typically come off more like bribes. For example, "If you clean your room I'll let you play the Wii." Saying, "When [or "As soon as…"]___ then ___," encourages making a positive choice. For example, "As soon as you clean your room, you can play the Wii.”

When it’s all said and done we are trying to teach our preschoolers that behavior is a choice. We want them to make the right choice because it’s the right thing to do. We don’t want them looking at us thinking, “Ok, but what’s in it for me?” Take a close look at how you are enforcing those right choices.

You’re their chauffer, homework helper, story reader, bath giver, clothes washer, Santa Clause, Easter Bunny and birthday cake maker all wrapped into one beautiful package. And before you had your bundle[s] of joy, you knew this would be the case, right… fact or fiction…the best moms put their kids first all the time

FICTION and that doesn’t mean you don’t love them if your every waking minute isn’t entirely about them. Taking time for you, allows you to give more to them. You need to respect your own needs as much as you do your big kid’s. Here are some important areas you need to remember for you:

• sweet bedy-bye Get your sleep! Turn in a little earlier or sleep in on the weekend and have your honey take over the morning duties. Consistent sleep is ideal, but it’s amazing what an extra hour or two can do for your mood.

• be happy It is so very easy to find the negative in things, which is very draining on the psychy. Turn things around and make a conscious effort to see the good. Really look for it and when those negative gremlins rear their nasty heads, shoot ‘em down! Choose to be happy!

• girl time & honey time Set aside time to be with your friends. Our friendships are very nourishing, so make sure you’re not starving! And get away with your honey too. It’s easy to neglect that relationship, but so not good to do. Whether it’s out to dinner, a movie or a walk around the neighborhood, time just for the two of you is fabulous!

• relax a little Stop beating yourself up for not getting the laundry done or the dishwasher not being unloaded or the fact you haven’t cleaned the bathroom since the last deadline of OTMOM [yes, that’s me]! But is it really that big of a deal? No! Relax and just take a moment to be thankful for what you have rather than being consumed with what isn’t done.

Neglecting your needs can create one angry, frustrated and deprived mama. And no one wants to be around her [including yourself]. So, go to the gym, take a friend to lunch or soak in a bubble bath. Recharging your battery is good for everyone in your home.

There is a ton of media attention directed toward online predators. From news reports to TV shows focused on “catching” them, we know they’re out there and we know we want them nowhere near our tweener because… fact or fiction…1 in 5 kiddos are sexually solicited online Sadly, this is FACT. Maybe even worse, is the fact that only 25% of those solicited told a parent. The Internet is

$300 Let help you with a mortgage that fits your needs... OFF CLOSING COSTS* Call me today for a fast and easy pre-approval or refinance! tweeners [10–12 years]

701.36 a valuable tool with information at every turn, but it’s important we teach our tweeners tips to stay safe online:

• stranger danger Just like you told them years ago, “don’t talk to strangers” is still true today and applies online. Sitting in the comfort and safety of home, along with the anonymity of screen names can create a false sense of security. A stranger is a stranger!

• don’t tell or go Talk to your tweener about the importance of not providing personal information about themselves or their family and to never, ever, ever agree to meet someone they met online.

• tell now Let your tweener know they need to tell you about any communication online that is inappropriate or makes them feel unsafe.

• talk it out Discuss with your tweener the dangers of online predators.

Now, you have major responsibilities when it comes to online safety too:

• know it Educate yourself on what is available online for your tweener to take part in. From chat rooms to Facebook, know it!

• block it Set appropriate age filters and check out the parental controls on your browser. Google for instance has a SafeSearch Filtering options [click on the options icon in the upper right corner to find it], which blocks the bad stuff from appearing in your search results. Use it!

• monitor it Know the sites your tweener is visiting and how much time he spends online. A great way to monitor screen time is to have the computer in a common area.