clap your hands!

story by | caitlin e. killoran

As mothers, we hold many different “titles.” I’m 23-years-old, a mother to two beautiful little girls, a wife to my husband who farms and a recent graduate of NDSU…just to name a few of my own titles. Throughout my 4 years of school, I worked hard to earn two degrees and had the mindset that I was not only going to be all of those titles, but ALSO a careerist.

After graduating in May, I decided I was going to take the summer to myself to enjoy my girls, my husband and life in general before throwing myself head first into the corporate world. June came and went without a single “search” for a job. Once July came I decided it was time to start looking...sort of…so I searched here and there. Then the school year started, some of my friends and family headed back to school and work, I still sat here job searching again…sort of. It wasn’t until recently, someone said, “WOW! I cannot believe you haven’t found a job yet! I thought you’d be hired immediately!” At that point I realized that maybe I don’t want to be hired...immediately.

Since then I’ve been thinking a lot about my life, my career, my husband and even more about my children. A lot of people can’t imagine going through 4 years of college with two little girls, but in my book—that was easy! I had a flexible schedule, professors that understood that children get sick, and on top of that a great routine where some days were a full load and others I only had one class or none at all. Moral of the story, I had the best of both worlds…family time while I was doing something for myself.

My husband and I live out on the family farm about forty miles outside of Fargo, so getting a job means having to leave my house an hour early and getting home an hour later, 5 days a week…in other words being gone from my family Monday through Friday from 7am to 6pm, allowing me two hours [when there isn’t something else going on] to really spend with my girls and husband before bedtime. Is this the right path for me?

This is not something I expected. In college I was rearing and ready to head out and make a ton of money! [Don’t we all think this throughout college?] Not once did I think I would be sitting here today contemplating what I want my life to be…what will make me “clap my hands?”

In our current generation I believe there is an assumption that if you’re a mom with a college degree, you have to work outside the home or you’re going to waste! After evaluating this thought further, I really think this is something that only “we,” as mothers, think of ourselves. I’ve never once looked at my own mother who stayed at home with five kids, as going to waste. I had a wonderful childhood! So why do I continually think this about myself if I’m not working?

I realized that I needed to step back and evaluate my titles and even more importantly, I needed to rank them in order of importance. I had to decide in the end what was going to make me happy. Would I be happy being away from my family that long? OR would I be happier raising my family? Does this mean my degree will go to waste? OR does it mean I’m just an educated mother?

As my own mother [and I’m sure yours have too] always said, “Everyone’s different.” Some of us are made to hold the titles Mom and Careerist, while others just Mom and that’s OK!

Moral of the story; don’t forget that childhood song we teach our children at a very young age…“When you’re happy and you know it…clap your hands!” Do what makes you and your family happy, embrace new adventures with an open mind, hold as many titles as you wish and never forget to be yourself.

And in the end...remember to stop and clap your own hands every once in a while!

DID YOU KNOW?

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Imagination Library is a program funded by United Way of Cass-Clay that focuses on preparing children for success in school. Register today and every month, one free book will be mailed to your family’s home thanks to United Way of Cass-Clay.

Who is eligible to register?

Children birth to age five who live in Cass or Clay County.