modern day fever

story by | kathleen wrigley

Despite our valiant efforts of dousing our kids in hand sanitizer, scrubbing away a layer of skin from vigorous hand-washing, and enforcing strict rules on shielding their coughs and sneezes with their elbows, Harper is sick as a dog, Dawg. Poor thing is down for the count.

Like so many little girls, she’s got the Bieber Fever. BAD.

Not sure I would call the Biebs a “role model,” for Harper. But she definitely likes his music and “wuvs” knowing who he is. And we do our best to filter the information she hears about him. He seems like a good boy, so far. Still, when she asked for a Justin Bieber-themed fifth birthday party, we tried to persuade her: “How about My Little Pony or Hello Kitty? Barbie?,” to no avail. Classic case of Bieber Fever. Classic.

Parents know the importance of role models for children. Of course modeling starts at home, but there are powerful outside influences that work against even the most protective parent or guardian. Never have we been as saturated with details of stars’ lives with constant access to TV, the Internet and social media. Unfortunately children are easy targets. They are vulnerable, wide-eyed, and impressionable. The media projects the image that celebrities, athletes, and rock stars live glamorous lives. They have it all: money, good looks, fancy clothes, shiny cars, fame, fans, and talent. As far as we can tell, their lives look pretty perfect.

Many of these young idolized figures—like The Biebs—are children themselves. We may say, “They are people—just people.” My mom—never one to swoon over titles or status—opines, “They put their pants on just like the rest of us, one foot at a time.” Yet the glamour and glitz can blind us—and them—to any equal footing. It is unnatural for anyone, much less a minor who lacks real-world experience, to live up to the constant, shallow standard of stardom. Predictably, many fall from grace. And when they do, we’re blanketed with the gory details. Therein lies the challenge for parents.

Similar to the preventative efforts for avoiding a virus—sort of like the Bieber Fever—parents across the globe try mightily to push back on these outside forces that portray celebrities’ lavish lifestyles, riches and beauty to be cornerstones of model behavior. When parents allow celebrities to be their child’s primary role models, the line between fantasy and reality sometimes becomes too blurred for imparting lessons about values, character and reality.

The good news is that role modeling starts at home. Research supports—and our experience shows us—that children whose learning, experience and skills are acquired through observing and mimicking the behavior of adults in their own lives have the tendency to mimic the overall behavior pattern of these individuals. Children learn by watching and imitating those closest to them: parents, family, teachers, neighbors, clergy, and coaches.

And in fairness to some celebrities, there are many [Justin Bieber among them] who pride themselves on trying to be satisfactory role models, understanding that their audience is young and watching. Let’s face it: our culture is fascinated with celebrities. And, short of keeping our kids in a box, pop culture stars will get our kids’ attention. But parents have power. Balancing and filtering information about superstars may help mitigate the negative impact on the lives of their young fans. Children should know that many actors and rock stars work to help charities and to lift the underprivileged. There are athletes who launch after-school programs and visit patients in hospitals, hoping to cheer them up and bring a smile. Parents control the direction of the discussion about specific traits they like, respect and want their children to imitate.

So that brings me back to the treatment for Harper’s “Bieber Fever,” and one of Justin’s most popular releases, “Never Say Never.”

After much consideration, we nursed our daughter’s ailment—her “Fever”—with a Justin Bieber-themed birthday party…with a slight—albeit weird—twist. Understanding that I typically dress up to add life to the party theme—last year’s Princess party was fun and magical—and obviously memorable—because Harper asked me to dress-up again for this year’s party…as Justin Bieber. I laughed out loud. Giggled at the possibilities of my get-up but a little fearful of the psychological damage I might cause these Bieber-ites.

Setting my sights on this character, I did some research. Turns out, Justin Bieber’s favorite color is purple. He was raised by a single mom, whom he holds in very high regard. He is a Christian. He’s a talented dancer and singer. He wears those silly droopy jeans and untied skater sneakers that have the enlarged tongue. He invests in great charitable causes and uses his celebrity status to do good, like visiting sick children in hospitals. And according to www.kidsworld.com, he is rated #9 on the Top Ten List of Celebrity Role Models.

With “Baby Baby Baby oooohhh” purring in the background, I shimmied into my dark colored baggy denims, slipped my piggies into the huge skater shoes, zipped up my purple hoodie with the flat-billed baseball cap underneath, and grabbed my blow-up microphone. I opened the door to reveal myself: “Yo. ‘S up.” Harper was star-struck. The two older kids snorted giggles. And Drew….well, Drew nearly fell off the couch.

In the end, we had fun. Harper was proud to have a version of Justin Bieber make a cameo appearance at her birthday party. That she asked me to do it made me proud, too. Role modeling starts at home, and beneath the pop-star costume stands Harper’s mommy. She’s real and imperfect. She’s a person Harper knows and trusts and loves, and who wants to instill in Harper the importance of having fun, laughing [at ourselves] and living happily ever after.

Peace out, Dawg.

Kathleen is a stay-at-home mom who serves on a number of community boards/committees, is active in her church, kids’ school, and politics and runs to sustain her own mental health! This Philadelphia native is married to a fourth generation North Dakotan, Drew, and proudly considers North Dakota her home. They have three children. Before becoming a mom, she was director for Bismarck’s Child Advocacy Center and was a speech writer. Kathleen received a BS from The Pennsylvania State University and completed her graduate studies at Temple University in Philadelphia.

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