SEPTEMBER I SSUE
EDI TORI NCHI EF Shaf i r aHusnaHani f ah SECRETARY Ki nt anSi er r aAnggi t a EDI TOR Amyt haKr esnaDewi Nat ashaCi t r aAdel i na EzzatKemalZul kar nai n El vi naDwiHi nel i a Ezr aniJul i nda REPORTER Fi t r iFadhi l ah Sant i kaVani aPut r i GRAPHI CDESI GNER Ni kenPr at i wiDwiRi t ami Far hanBar i dwan Af i fMut t aqi en Jul i oTant on PUBLI CRELATI ON Ri vaPer danaSi di MuhammadNauf alAlAzi z PUBLI CATI ON Cl ar aEcl esi aFi des YogaAdi t yaPr at ama FI NANCE Ri zkyMuhammad Er i shaBel l aChr i st y Put r iAmal i a
Cont r i but or s: Agni Amyt haKr esnaDewi AnandaBayu Ar mel i aSaf i r a Di r r ady Gr eatRaySi t or us EzzatKemalZul kar nai n Far hanBar i dwan Fauzi aZahi r a Ki nt anSi er r aAnggi t a MuhammadBahmani ar MuhammadRi zky Nadi r aNovi andi t a Ni kenPr at i wiDwiRi t ami Ri anFauzan YogaAdi t yaPr at ama
f or ewor d.
f r o mo u r Ed i t o ri nCh i e f
Dearf r i ends, I thasbeenawhi l esi ncet hel astt i mewet al ked.Bot hofushadnot meteachot herf orqui t esomet i menow.Youmayhavef or got t en t hatwehadsomet hi ngbackt hen,because,l et ’ sj ustsay ,wehad beenasl eep,per hapsf orani ghtt ool ong. Now t hatwehavedeci dedt owakeup,weai mt omakeourbeds andcl eanourr ooms.Becausewebel i evet hatever yonedeser vesa secondandbet t ercomi ng.Thus,i nt hi sf r eshst ar t ,wewantt o i nvi t eyout obei nvol vedi nt hi sj our ney . Ourhugeent husi asm i nbr i ngi ngONWARDbackt ol i f er esul t edi n t hei deaofmaki ngaPi l otedi t i onast hest ar t eraf t ert hel onghi at us. Tocel ebr at et hi s,wewant edt omaket hi sedi t i onbel ongt oever yonebyi ncl udi ngsubmi ssi onsf r om t hehi ddent al ent si nt heEngl i shDepar t mentofUni ver si t asPadj adj ar an.Rel easi ngt hi s,we hopet hati twoul dhel pnur t ur i ngal ovef orr eadi ngandwr i t i ngi n youngones. Wehaver evi ewedal lofyoursubmi ssi onsandwear ever ygl adt o exper i enceyourexci t ementi nt hemaki ngoft hi sPi l oti ssue.I thas beenanhonort oust ohaver ecei vedsuchhugesuppor tandwar m wel come.Hopef ul l y ,youcanf eelt hewar mt ht ooasyour eadt hi s edi t i on. Her e’ st oanew st ar t .
S h a f i r aHus naHa ni f a h
Su b mi s s i o n
I noner at hergr uel i ngaf t er noonoft hef i r stweekofApr i l , Il ef tcampust ogohomebyangkot .Justacr ossf r om t he Jat i nangorSubdi st r i ctOf f i ce,oneangkotwasst ayi ngup f et chi ngpassenger s.Ient er edt heCar r yshapedconveyance and t ooka seatami dstt he exhaust ed,wear yol d men.A vei l ed mat ur e woman satcl ose t ot he ent r ance door .Isatont heopposi t esi deoft women:oneoft hem wasaqui t emat ur emanwi t hal ankyappear anceandt aper i ng,t i r edcount enance;t heot heronewasver yol dt hat youcanseeaf r ownedf eat ur ewhom el der l ymenusual l y have.Wel l ,t hemanont hel ef twasat hi ngIknewnotmuch ofbecauseIdi dnotvent ur emysel ft ost ar eathi mf ori t ,I t hought ,woul dbewei r dorr i di cul ousand,per haps,di sr espect f ulandi mpol i t e.I ,i nasur el yuni nt ended,br i efgaze, onl yspot t edhi smoust ache,acapandar edandwhi t eshi r t i nwhi chhewasat t i r ed.
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Idi dn’ tf ucki ngcar ei fIr eal l ydi ed, ”hest oppedf orawhi l e;I keptmunchi ngt hepeanut s.“ but , ”hecont i nued,“ al hamdul i l l ah,gr at ef ul l y ,Igotcur edi naweek’ st i me.If r equent l ydr ank cl earwat erandt hatone… whatwasi t ?Mmm… t heguava j ui ce.Yeah,guavaj ui ce!Youknowi t ’ sgoodf ordenguef ever , don’ tyou?Butt hatwasnott heonl yoneIdr ank.Mywi f e near l ybr oughtmadukur maever yt i meshegothomef r om wor ksoIconsumedi tvor aci ousl yever ynow andt hen.And, sur pr i si ngl y ,Iat eupt osevent i mesadaywhenIwassi ck! That ’ sal l becauseIhadanabsol ut ewi l l i ngnesst ogetheal ed. Iwant edt ogetheal t hyagai nsoIat emuch.And,yes,al hamdul i l l ah,Igotheal edi nonl yaweek!Wel l ,i naweekIwasnot compl et el yf i t ,youknow,mybodywasst i l lt i r ed.Andasa r esul t ,Igotr estanddi dn’ tt akeanyj obf oramont h. ” “ Swi mmi ng!Swi mmi ng! ”hemi mi cked,seemedt ome,one ofhi schi l dr en’ scr y—her eIwasnotcompl et el ysur ei ft he chi l dwasaheorshebecausehehi msel fonl yr ef er r edt ot he chi l dasabudak.Het ol danot herst or y .Hedi di tnotbecause hewasaboast f ul ,bl abber i ngsor tofper son,butbecausei t wasdef i ni t el yi mpor t antt oshar et hecompl ai nt sandsuf f er i ngsofhi sl i f et ohi sf el l ows.“ Swi mmi ng, ”hecont i nued,“ my chi l dwant st oswi m.Thebudaksayst hatwor df r equent l y , near l yal lt het i me,andbegsmet ogot oaswi mmi ngpool . Ther e… Yadi ka.How much money do we need t o swi m t her e?”
A VE SDROPPI NG: -I nDi f f i cul ti e s
Att hi spoi nt ,Iwant edt ochi mei nbecauseIact ual l yknew t hecost .Foramoment ,t her ewasanawkwar dsi l ence—a devoi dofanswert ot heman’ squest i on;t husIwant edt ot el l hi m whatwasi n mymi nd sympat het i cal l y ,butIunner ved mysel ft osayasi ngl ewor d.Anot hermanont her i ghtsi deof me,whoal so,Isupposed,bel ongedt ot hei rset ,atl engt h “ Yes,boss… youcanbeacommandoher e.Whoam I ? chi medi n.“ I t ’ scheap, ”hesai d.“ Cheap.Ver ycheap. ”Igotr eI ’ mj ustaconst r uct i onwor ker .I ’ mf r eet obecommanded, ” l i evedbecauseIneedednoti mpar tar emar kasananswerf or he,t hel at t er ,t hemanofwhom Ihadnoper f ectf acedel i n- Iwast ooshyandf el tt hatIhadnor i ghtt osayanyt hi ng. eat i on,mi mi ckedhi msel f ,i nSundanese,ofwhathehad sai dt oacommanderi nhi swor kpl acet ot heot hermen “ How much?”t he l ankyman r ej oi ned.The conver sat i on bef or ehi m.( Hepl ai nl yment i oned“ commando” ,not“ com- cont i nued. mander ” . )“ I ’ mf r eet obeaf f l i ct edwi t ht oi l sf r om you, ”he “ I t ’ sver ycheap! ”t hef our t hman,asol dast her estoft hem, mi mi ckedhi msel fagai nnow wi t hahi gheryett i r edt one, r epeat edt hesamewor ds. “ butIhavemanyf r i ends… i t ’ seasy . ” “ Yes,ver y ,ver ycheap.Buti thast obedef i ni t el ycl earhow cheapi ti s! ”t hei nt er l ocut orcompl ai nedwi t hadr ai nedt one. I ,whowasunseal i nga1, 000r upi ahbagofpeanut sand “ Fi f t eent housandr upi ahs. ” at et hem,wasost ensi bl yl ooki ngatt heout si deoft heconveyancewhi l eset t i ngmyf i xedear scar ef ul l yt ot hei rr eI ,whoi ni t i al l yi nt endedt opr onouncet heanswer ,wasgr at emar ks,orel seIwoul dmi sssomei nt er est i ngwor dsf r om f ult hatIdi dnotchi mei nbecause,appar ent l y ,Ihaddi f f er ent t hem.Theweat herout si dewasr at hergl oomy .I twasan number sonmymi nd.It houghti twast ent housandr upi ahs.I over castaf t er no wasgl adIwasnotbei ngsi l l yorgaveunr el i abl ei nf or mat i ont o t hem. on,andt hemel anchol i ci mpr essi onf r om t heout si dewasa “ Fi f t eent housand?”het r i edt oascer t ai n. nat ur al l yi nevi t abl ehar monyt ot hef acesoft hemenand “ Yep. ” t her emar kst heywer econver si ng.Theyt al kedaboutt hei r “ OnSunday?” bosses,t hepr emanwhogott at t oossopr eval entnear l yon “ Yep.Fi f t eent housandr upi ahsatyourpl easur e! ” hi sent i r ebodyt hathi sappear ancel ookedt hr eat eni ngand whosehobbywasbei ngt i psynear l yal lt het i me,andgen“ Nah!Fi f t eent housandr upi ahs!Iwi l lj ustgett her eandsay er al l yt hei rhar dl i ves. t ot hem t hatIwasoneoft hemenwhobui l tt hatswi mmi ng poolsoImi ghtgetf r eeor ,atl east ,getcheapercost , ”he Thel ankymanbef or emenowgotat ur nt ot el l ast or y .“ I l aughedgent l yandpoi gnant l yasi fhewer eobj ect edt ot he wentt oahospi t al i nRancaekek, ”hest ar t ed,“ andt hent he numbert hef our t hmanhadconf er r edt ohi m. doct orsuggest edmet ogot oRumahSaki tSumedang.A Myst opgotni gh.Isai d“ Ki r i ! ”t ot hedr i ver .Igotoutoft he bi ggerhospi t al .Thedoct ori nRancaekekdi dn’ twantt o conveyancewi t habunchofpeanut s’ wast ei nhandandpai d t aker i skofmyheal t h.I t ’ sdenguef ever .ButIdi dn’ tgot o t hechar ge.Icr ossedt her oad. Andont hewayhome,onf oot , Sumedang.Idi dn’ tgot oabi ggerhospi t al .Wel l ,I ’ dr at her Iwaswonder i ngwhatwonder f ul yetsmar t i ngst or i esImi ssed l i veordi eathome. t hatt heywer est i l ll i kel ydi scussi ngi nt her emai ni ngt i meof t hei rl ong,t i r i nghomecomi ngsi nceIdescended.
Ha r dt oSa y :A So n g
THE
AFTERTASTE
Ti me sa ndt i me sa g a i n, If o undmy s e l ff a l l i ngi na ndo uto fl ov ewi t he v e r yl i v i ngbe i ngI me t ; a l lbutt hi so neg uppy s hs wi mmi nghi swa yi ns i det hes ma l la qua r i um o nmybe ds i de t a bl e . I n4t hg r a de , mys c i e nc et e a c he rha dmet a k ec a r eo fapa ddl epl a nts heha dputi napo t a sa ni ndi v i dua lpr o j e c t . Shes a i dt ha ti twa so neo ft hee a s i e rpl a nt st ot a k ec a r eo f ; wa t e rwhe n t hes o i ll o o k sdr y , e x po s et he mt opa r t i a ls unl i g ht , a ndi t ’ ss e t . epl a ntdi e dt wowe e k sa f t e r s hea s s i g ne dmet oi t ; e i t he rs hewr o ng f ul l ya s s ume dt ha ti twa sas i mpl epl a nt , o rIwa st ha t c a r e l e s so fag i r l . i sg uppyIha v eno wi sdi ffe r e nt . Hedo e s n ’ tha v eana me –a ndi t ’ sno tl i k ehe ne e dso nea ny wa y . Iwa st e mpt e dt ona mei ta f t e rmymo t he ro rs o me t hi ng , butIde c i de dno t t os i nc eIdi dn ’ te v e nk no wwhi c hg e nde ri tbe l o ng st o . I ma g i neho wy o url i t t l ebo ywo ul df e e l t obena me dLuc y . Yo us e e , s ma l lc r e a t ur e sg e thur tmo r ee a s i l y . Ats o mepo i nt , Ig a v eupa nd a s s ume dt ha ti t ’ sahe . a thedo e s n ’ tde ma ndmuc ha t t e nt i o na ndf e e dv e r yl i t t l ei spr o ba bl y whyIha v e n ’ tf a l l e no uto fl ov ewi t hhi mj us ty e t . Ea r l i e rt ha tni g ht , Is t a r t e dwo r k i nga saba r t e nde ra tmyl o c a lpub . Ik ne wBo b , t hema na g e r –hea ndmyf a t he rwe ntal o ngwa yba c kwhe nt he ybo t ha t t e nde dt hes a mes c ho o la ndwe nt o nt owo r kf o rt hes a met r a i nc o mpa ny –a ndc o nv i nc e dhi mt ha tIwo ul dbeag r e a ta ddi t i o nt o t hepl a c e , c o ns i de r i ngt hea mo unto ft i meIs pe ntmi x i ngdr i nk sdur i ngmyt i mea tt heuni v e r s i t y , whi c hc o nt r a s t e dwi t ht hev e r yl i t t l ei nt e r e s tIha dt o wa r dt hewo r k so fPo eo rHa wt ho r ne o ra nyo t he rwr i t e rwhodi e di nt he1800s . Bo ba s k e dmes o meque s t i o nsa nd na l l ys a i dt ha tI c o ul dwo r khe r e , butwi t ho nec o ndi t i o n: t ha tIwo ul dne e dt ol e tmyf a t he rk no wt ha tI ’ m wo r k i nghe r e . Idi dn ’ tl i k et ha ti de af o rac o upl eo fpe r s o na lr e a s o ns . Fi r s t , I ’ m 22a nda sa n a dul t , Ido n ’ tf e e lt hes l i g ht e s tne c e s s i t yt ol e tmyf a t he rk no wwhe nwa st hel a s tt i meIha ds e x , l e ta l o newhe r eI ’ m wo r k i ng . Se c o nd, I ’ m ne v e rt o of o ndo ft a l k i ngt omyf a t he ra sher a r e l y ma k e sa nys e ns e ; Ig ue s si twa st hea l c o ho l . Af t e rs o met i me , wea g r e e dt ha tIwo ul dl e thi m t e l lmyf a t he ra bo utt hi s . e y ’ r eo l df r i e nds , a ny wa y . Pe o pl et e ndt oha v eas o f ts po tf o ra no l d f r i e nda ndIt ho ug htt ha ti two ul dbewi s et ot a k ea dv a nt a g eo ft ha t .
Bo bc a l l e dmyf a t he ra ndg e s t ur e dmet og oi nt ot heba c k r o o mt og e tc ha ng e da ndIdi d. Iha d t heuni f o r mo n, r e pl a c e dmyg l a s s e swi t hapa i ro fl e ns e s , a ndt i e dmyha i rup . Ic o ul dn ’ ts e e mt o ndami r r o ri nt hi sr o o m, a ndi twa sunc o mmo nno tt oha v eo nei nac ha ng i ngr o o m; e i t he rt ha to r o neo fmyne wc o wo r k e r sha di ti ns i det he i rl o c k e r . Idi dn ’ tbo t he ra ndwa l k e ds t r a i g htt ot heba r , whe r eIc o ul ds e et hebi a s e dr ee c t i o no fmy s e l fo nt hes t a c k so fl i quo rbo t t l e s . * * I twa s n ’ tt hemo s te v e nt f ulo fni g ht st omyo wnj udg e me nt , a ndmyi ni t i a le x pe c t a t i o no fwha tI wo ul dc o mea c r o s swo r k i nga tapubi st obl a me . No g hti ni c t e d, noi mpo r t a ntpe o pl ewa l k e di n, noa r g ume ntbe t we e nl ov e r s . Il o o k e dt ot hes a x o pho ni s to ft hebl ue sba ndpl a y i nga ndIc o ul ds e e t ha te v e nhewa ss e t t l e d; c o o l , c a l m, c o l l e c t e d. Byt ha tt i me , Ik ne wIne e de dt or e a r r a ng emye x pe c t a t i o nsi fIwe r et os t a y . “ Ex c us eme , ”s o me o nes a i dt omea shewa sa ppr o a c hi ngt heba r . ” Ha v ey o us e e nmypho ne ?I t hi nkIl e f ti ta tt ha tt a bl ee a r l i e r , ”hea dde d, uns t e a di l ypo i nt i ngt ot hes e c o ndt a bl ene x tt ot her e s t r o o m do o r . “ Le tmec he c kt ha twi t ht hewa i t e r s . Wha tk i ndo fpho nei si t ? ”Ir e pl i e d. “ I t ’ sa ni Pho newi t hal e a t he rc a s e . It hi nki tha sapi c t ur eo fmywi f eo nt heho mes c r e e n. Co ul d y o ua s ki fa ny o ne ’ sf o undi t ? ” “ Onemo me nt , ”Is mi l e da thi ma ndl e f tmywo r k s t a t i o nt os e ei fs o me o neha sputhi spho nei n t heba c kr o o m; a ndo fc o ur s e , i t ’ st he r e . Ani Pho newi t hal e a t he rc a s et ha tl o o k e ds o me wha tdr ya s i fi tha s n ’ tbe e no nhi sha ndsf o rs o meda y s . Ipr e s s e dt heho mebut t o na ndt he r ewa sapi c t ur eo fa wo ma ni nada r kbl uebl o us es mi l i ngt ot hec a me r a . Shei sbe a ut i f ul , It ho ug htt omy s e l fbe f o r e wa l k i ngt hepho neba c kt ot heba r .
Byt hatt i me, Iknew Ineededt or ear r ange myexpec t at i onsi fIwer et os t ay .
“ I st hi sy o ur s , Mr …? ”Ipa us e d, r e g r e t t i ngt oha v es a i di tl i k eIk ne whi sna me . “ Go o dGo d, t ha nky o us omuc h, ”hes a i da shepi c k e dt hepho ne . “ Iwa sa l r e a dya tt heme t r o s t a t i o nwhe nIr e me mbe rt ha tIdo n ’ tha v emypho newi t hme . Any wa y , Cl a r k . J us tCl a r k , ”hee x t e nde dhi sr i g htha nd. “ Nopr o bl e m, wef o r g e te v e no urmo s ti mpo r t a nto ne se v e r yno wa ndt he n. I ’ mTa s ha , ni c et o me e ty o u, ”Is ho o khi sha nd, i twa sc o l d. Iwo nde r e di fi twa st ha tc o l do ut s i de . “ Ca nIg e ty o u s o me t hi ng ? ”Ia s k e d, dy i ngt obei na c t i o n. “ Whi t eRus s i a n, pl e a s e . Do ubl e . No , ma k ei tt r i pl e . I c ec o l d. ” “ Cr e a mo rmi l k ? ” “ Cr e a m. ” “ Yo ug o ti t . ” Whi t eRus s i a n. 2pa r t sc o ffe el i que ur , 5pa r t sv o dk a , 3pa r t sf r e s hc r e a m, a l li nt ha to r de r . Ik no w mys t uff; Ia l s ok no wt ha the ’ sa l r e a dyl o c k e dt ohi spho ne . Fo rwha t e v e rr e a s o n, Iwa sf o c us e dmo r e o nhi mt ha nt hedr i nk . Heg a v et hei mpr e s s i o no fawe l l g r o o me dpr o f e s s i o na lwhoi si nhi s mi d3 0s . Awhi t ebut t o ne dups hi r t , g r e yl o ngpa nt s , br o wnme s s e ng e rba g , apa i ro fo x f o r ds , a nd o fc o ur s e , ar i ngo nhi sl e f tha ndr i ng ng e r . Tr i pl es ho t se qua lr o ug hda y s , a ndhe ’ spr o ba bl yha d o ne . I ’ v es e e nt hr e e , i fno tmo r e , pe o pl ei nt hea l mo s te x a c ts a mea t t i r et o ni g hta ndi ft ha t ’ sno ts t e r e o t y pi c a lt he nIdo n ’ tk no wwha ti s . Iwa st r y i ngt ol o o ki nt ohi se y e swhe nIr e a l i z e dt ha thi s dr i nki sr e a dy .
“ Suppe r ’ sr e a dy , Cl a r k , ”Is a i dt ohi ma sf r i e ndl ya spo s s i bl ea ndputt heg l a s si nf r o nto fhi m. “ a nk s , ”her e pl i e d. “ Ar ey o une wa r o undhe r e ?Ido n ’ tt hi nkI ’ v es e e ny o ube f o r e , ”hes a i da s heputhi spho nei nt ohi spo c k e t . “ Ac t ua l l y , Ij us tg o ts t a r t e dt o ni g ht . ” “ Re a l l y ?I ’ v ea l wa y swa nt e dt obeaba r t e nde r , ”het o l dme . “ Ar ey o us t udy i nga ny t hi ng ? ” “ Eng l i s h. Iwa ss t udy i ngEng l i s hf o rt woy e a r sbutt he nIdr o ppe do ut , ”Ia ns we r e d. “ Wha t a bo uty o u? ” “ Phy s i c s . ” Si l e nt . Hi sa ns we rwa ss ho r t , buti twa s n ’ tho s t i l e . Hel i tac i g a r e t t ea nds t a r e da thi spho nea si fl e t t i ngmek no wt ha thewa s n ’ ti nt e r e s t e di ns t r i k i ngac o nv e r s a t i o na ny mo r e . So me t i me shewo ul d c r a c kas mi l e , s o meo t he rt i me shewo ul dbr e a t het hes mo k ei na sde e pl ya spo s s i bl e , no twa nt i nghi sl ung st obr e a t ht he mo ut . Ig l a nc e di nt ohi se y e si nho pet ha thewo ul dno t i c ea ndt he n a s kmes o me t hi ngbuti tdi dn ’ ts e e mt owo r kt ha twa y . No twi t hhi m. Ar o undhi m wa sav a s t s pa c eo funa t t e nde dt a bl e sa ndIwa st hei ndi s t i nc tc ha t t e rwho s eo nl ypur po s ewa st ol lag a p . et a bl ebe t we e nusf e l tc o l d, y e ti twa swa r ma ndIl i k e di t . “ Pl a net i c k e t , ”hes a i dwhi l el o o k i ngdo wnt ot hek e g sbe hi ndme , br e a k i ngt heg o da wf uls i l e nc e . “ Wha ta bo uti t ? ” “ I t ’ swha tIwa swo r r i e da bo ut . I twa s n ’ tmypho ne , i twa smypl a net i c k e t , ” “ We l l , ”It r i e dt or e s po nda sg o o da sIc o ul d. “ Ine v e rr e a l l yl i k e dy i ng , i tf e e l sl i k ec he a t i ng ; y o uc utt o omuc ht i met ha ti tl o s e si t swo r t h. Ia l wa y st a k et het r a i n. I the l psmev a l uet i me mo r e . Myf a t he rwa sat r a i no pe r a t o r . ” Hei nha l e d. “I tr e a l l ydo e s n ’ two r kt ha twa y , ”her e pl i e di ndi s a g r e e me nt , t a k i ngas i pf r o m hi sha l f e mpt y g l a s s . “ e r e ’ ss omuc hmo r et ot i met ha nt het i mei t s e l f . Spa c e , di s t a nc e , s i t ua t i o ns . Addt he m upa l t o g e t he ra ndwha ty o u ’ l lg e ti sami x e dupi nt e r pr e t a t i o no ft i me . ” “ Andho wi st ha t ? ” “ Yo us e e , ”hel o o k e da tme –no , t hr o ug hme . “ e r ea r et i me swhe npe o pl ea r ewi l l i ngt oc ut t he i rwo r t hi na na t t e mptt og ot hr o ug hdi s t a nc e . e ydo n ’ ta l wa y ss uc c e e da ndt he yk no wi t , butt he ydoi ta ny wa y . Andwhyi st ha t , y o us a y ?Ti met a k e spe o pl et hr o ug hj o ur ne y s , s i t ua t i o ns , wha t e v e ry o uwa ntt oc a l li ta ndt he ye i t he ra ddo rs ubt r a c to ne ’ sv a l ue . I t ’ sl i k eg a mbl i ng ; y o u c a nne v e rk no wwhe t he ry o u ’ l lwi no rl o s e . I fy o ul o s e , y o u ’ l lt r yt or e c o upwha ty o u ’ v el o s tb y g a mbl i ngf o ra no t he rr o und; y o ug ot hr o ug ha no t he rj o ur ne y . ”
“ Myf a t he rt o o kpe o pl et hr o ug hj o ur ne y s . Hehe l pe dt he mg e tt hr o ug hi ti nt i me , ”It r i e dt o ma k es e ns eo fmyo wnwo r dsa ndIf e l tl i k eI ’ v edo nei tqui t ewe l l . “ I t ’ st wodi ffe r e ntt hi ng s . Ai r pl a ne s , t r a i ns , t he i rpur po s ea st o o l so nl ye x t e ndss of a r . Yo urf a t he r , hehe l pe dmov et het r a i n, no tt het i me . e ydo n ’ tc o e x i s t , t he ya r et wos e pa r a t ee x i s t e nc e . Se e , t he r ea r et hi ng st ha ty o uc a n ’ tmo di f y , t ha ty o uc a n ’ ts e e . ” AsIwa st r y i ngt o ndmywo r ds , hewa sl e a v i ngt het a bl e . He l l , hel e f tmenot i met ot hi nk . I n f a c t , t heo nl yt hi nghel e f twa sat we nt y do l l a rbi l la l o ngwi t hano t eo nas ma l lpi e c eo fpa pe rI di dn ’ ts e ehi m wr i t e . “ er i ng , ”Imur mur e da shet ur ne da wa y . “ Wha t ? ” “ er i ng , ”Is a i d, l o o k i nga thi m. “ ewo ma no ny o urpho ne , s he ’ sno twe a r i ngar i ng . ” Hel e tl o o s eas ma l ll a ug ht e r , f o l l o we db yas mi l e –o net ha te v e nt heni g htwa st o os hyt owr a pi t s s o l e mni t ya r o und, a ndIt o os hyt of o r g e t . es a x o pho ni s twa s n ’ tt he r ea ny mo r e , s owa shi sba nd. e yha dmov e d, s oha dt he i rmus i c . Fo rt he r s tt i mei nav e r y , v e r yl o ngwhi l eIf e e ll i k eI ’ v es e t t l e di ns o me t hi ng . * * Ti me sa ndt i me sa g a i n, If o undmy s e l ff a l l i ngi na ndo uto fl ov ewi t he v e r yl i v i ngbe i ngIme t ; a l lbutt hi so newo undIk e e pde a r l yi ns i demy s e l f . eg uppy s hIha di ns i det hes ma l la qua r i um o nmybe ds i det a bl e , Ido n ’ tha v ei ta ny mo r e ; i tha ddi e do f , Ido n ’ tk no w, bo r e do mo rl o ne l i ne s so r t i me . Myf a t he r , a f t e rs o mepo i ntIdi dn ’ tha v et hec ha nc et ot e l lhi ma ny t hi nga ny mo r e ; t hel a s t t i mewes po k ewa sa bo utwhe t he ri two ul dbeag o o di de at ov i s i tmo t he r ’ sg r a v ee v e r yo nc ei na whi l e , t owhi c hhedi dn ’ ta ns we r . ewo undIha v eno wi sdi ffe r e nt . I tne e dsana meno tt oc a l l i t s e l f , butt oo pe ni t s e l fupe v e r yno wa ndt he n. I ti sa l mo s ti na ni ma t et ha ti tr e mi ndsmet ha tI ’ m a l i v e . a ti tdo e s n ’ tde ma nda t t e nt i o na ndf e e do ns o me o nee l s ei spr o ba bl ywhyIwi l lne v e rf a l l o uto fl ov ewi t hi t .
Per s ona non gr a t a
S o l i l o q uyo fS e l f -A c c e p t a n c e S us t a i n e dt hr o ug hF a n t a s y Amy t h aKr e s n a Ia m ag e ne r a t i o nf e db yWa r k o pDKIhumo r a ndSuz a nna ’ st e r r o r . e ys e r v e dmeJ a pa ne s e a ni ma t i o nsf o rbr e a k f a s t , l o c a lc e l e br i t yg o s s i ps dur i ngl unc hbr e a k , a ndSi ne ma r ts o a po pe r a s i ndi nne rt i me . e r e ’ sav a r i a t i o no fdi nne ri nt r o duc e dl a t e ro ni nt hef o r mo fi mpo r t e d dr a ma s . e ya l lo ffe r e dt hes a met hi ng : f a nt a s y . Ia m ag e ne r a t i o nwa di ngt hr o ug he v e r c ha ng i ngt r e ndsa ndt e c hno l o g i e s . I ’ v ebe e no nt he pe a ko fFr i e nds t e r , Pe tSo c i e t yc r a z ewhe r et he no ng a me r swe r ee v e nwi l l i ngt obuyc he a t s , Twi t t e rwo r dl i mi t sbr a g g i ng( i tma deme c huc k l eal i t t l et ot hi nkt ha twea c t ua l l ybo a s t e dt hi sf a c ta r o undba c kt he n) , t hee v o l ut i o no f Sna k eg a mei nNo k i af r o m 2D g r a phi ci nt o 3D, Po we rBa l a nc ebr a c e l e t s , Si l l yBa ndz , a nd Di s ne ys t a r spa r a dema k i ngwa yt oi do l spha s e f o l l o we dwi t has e r i e so fi nt e r na t i o na lma l e s o l o s , bo yg r o upsa ndg i r lg r o ups . Wea r el i k e s he si nt hes e as hov e ds i deb ys i dea nds wi mmi ngt hr o ug ht hec ur r e nt swhi c hc ha ng eho we v e rt hes e apl e a s e s . Wek e e ppa ddl i ngo n, ha ppi l ybe i ng ungf r o mo newa yt oa no t he r . Te c hno l o gy ’ sr a pi di mpr ov e me nti so urc o mpa s s ; i tl e a dsusa ndg i v e susapa t h. Te c hno l o gyf a s t e nst hepa c eo fo url i v e sa nd wea r et a ug htt or un. No , weha v enoc ho i c e butt or una l o ng . Ij us tdi dn ’ tr e a l i z ewec o ul d r una wa yf r o mo uro wn a ws ; di s a ppo i nt me nt s , i ns e c ur i t i e s , l o ne l i ne s s , f r us t r a t i o ns , pr e s s ur e s , a nde x pe c t a t i o ns . Wej us twa nt e dt o beg o o de no ug h; e v e nt ho ug hi ti sno to ur s e l v e s . Wewa nt e dv a l i da t i o no fe x i s t e nc e ; de s pi t ema k i ngups o me t hi ngwedo n ’ tha v e .
Myg e ne r a t i o ndi s t o r t ss oma nyt hi ng sa to nc e : o urdr e a ms , o urc o nne c t i o ns , a ndo urhe a r t s . Wea r er a i s e dt opl a ydumb , wea r ebr o ug htup no tt os t r i v ea ndbepr o udo fo ur s e l v e sbe c a us e be i nga s s o c i a t e dwi t hl a z i ne s si sbe t t e rt ha n v a ni t y , wel i v et hr o ug ht hedo wnf a l lo fpo s t a l o ffic ebe i ngt hr o wnov e rb yc e l lpho ne st e x t i ng ( be f o r et hewa v eo fs o c i a lme di abl e wup) whi c hma k e so urwo r dsc l i ppe da ndj a g g e d, a dde dwi t hho wwes t o r epe nt upf e e l i ng si n t hede e pe s tc l o s e tf o rf e a ro fr e j e c t i o n, be t r a y a l , a ndi g no r a nc e , whi l es i mul t a ne o us l yhi di ng be hi ndt hema s ko fi r o nyr e pr e s e nt e db yme me s a ndquo t e s .
Wewo ul dne ve rt a k et h eb l a me . e s ev i r t ua lwa l l swebui l ta r ema det odi s pl a y dr e a m, f a nt a s y , hi dde ne mo t i o ns ; av e r s i o no fus wemi g htno tha v e , o rdo n ’ tha v et hec o ur a g et o di s pl a y , i nr e a l i t y . ei nt e r ne ti spr a c t i c a l l y t e c hno l o gy ’ sbe s t i nv e nt e dg i f ta si ti sac ur s e , a tt hes a met i me . ei nt e r ne tc r e a t e sac ha nc e f o rust oe x po s eo ur s e l v e sho we v e rwewa nti tt o be , i ta l mo s tf e e l sl i k ewe ’ r eg i v e nas e c o ndl i f e . i si swhe r et hes t o r ys t a r t s : a r ey o ug o i ngt o br i ngy o urr e a l i t ya nds ha r et he mi nt heho pe t ha ts o me bo dyo utt he r er e l a t e st oy o ube t t e r t ha nt hepe o pl ei ny o url i f eo ra r ey o ug o i ngt o l i v eal i et of e e la l i v e ?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I sma k i ngy o urd r e a mar e a l i t ys ouna p p e a l i ngt h e s ed a y st h a ty o uh a vet oc r e a t e vi r t ua l r e a l i t yt od os o ?
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Ev e r y whe r ey o ul o o kf o r , t he r ea r edr e a ms be i ngs o l d. Be a ut y , po we r , we a l t ha r ebe s t s e l l i ngc a t e g o r i e s . e ya r ef o o l pr o o fc o mmo di t i e s ma j o r i t ywi l le a tup . Bec a r e f ul , ho we v e r ; i fy o u c ho o s eo neo ft he s e , y o uwo n ’ tbeg i v e nbr a g g i ngr i g ht so fmo r a ldi g ni t y . Af t e ra l l , nohuma ni t yi ss a v e db yy o urpe r s o na l , “ s ha l l o w” de s i r e( o ri si t ? ) . Iwo ul dl i k et oi nputt ha t pl e a s ek no wy o ur s e l fwe l le no ug hbe f o r e c ho o s i ng , be c a us edr e a msc a nbebo t hy o ur s a l v a t i o na ndpo i s o n. e r ea r epe o pl ec r us he d b ydr e a mswhi c hne v e rc a met r uea ndpe o pl e who s el a s tha ng i ngr o pei sma deo ft he i r dr e a ms . ( Asf o rme , t heo nl ys o c i a lmov e me nt Iwo ul dpr o ba bl ybei nt e r e s t e di nj o i ni ngi si f i t sg o a li nc l ude sde s t r o y i ngt hepo we rhuma n g a v et omo ne y . I ft he r e ’ snos uc ht hi ng , I ’ ds t i l l l i k et ober i c h, t ha nk s . ) Iwa sr a i s e dl o o k i ngov e ras k yf ul lo fl i g ht s wi t hbo t hf e e tr o o t e do nha r d, c o l dc e me nt g r o und. ef o r e s tIha dk no wna ndg r e wt o l ov ei sma deo fs k y s c r a pe r s , t hev o i dIha di n myc o ns c i o us ne s si sl l e db yt hei nt e r ne t , a nd t hef a s t e s tha ppi ne s sIf e l ti sg r a nt e dt hr o ug h ma t e r i a ls t uff. Ev e r ys i ng l eda y , Ia mt e e t e r i ng o ndi s t a nta l o o f ne s sa ndl uk e wa r m mo me nt s o fv ul ne r a bi l i t y ; o fpus hi ngpe o pl ea wa yf o r de f e ns eme c ha ni s ma ndwa nt i ngc o mpa ny wi t hnoa c t ua le ffo r t . Ia m bo t has e l f c e nt e r e d ma y be l i be r a lwhos o me ho wt hi nk st o omuc h o fo t he rpe o pl ea ndt he i ro pi ni o nst ot hepo i nt i ta ffe c t smype r s o na lf e e l i ng .
Ia mt hepr o duc to fag e ne r a t i o nwho ’ sa f r a i do f put t i ngt he i rhe a r t so nt he i rs l e e v e s , whohi d be hi nds o me bo dye l s e ’ t ho ug ht sf o re x pr e s s i o n, a ndwhoc a n ’ tma k eupt he i ro wnmi ndst he y ha v et o nda no t he rs e e mi ng l ybe t t e r( me di a e x po s e d)l i f ea sg o a l s . i sc o nc e a l e dmi s e r yi sbe i ngpa r o di e di n l i g ht he a r t e d, j a bbi ngquo t e s . i si ne x pl i c a bl e e mo t i o ni sbe i ngl i mi t e db yc ho i c e so fs t i c k e r s a nde mo t i c o n. i sunf o r t una t et r a g e dyi sbe i ng us e da st r e ndi ngme me s . Do e si tf e e lbe t t e rf o r ust ol i v eb yt a k i ngt hi ng sl i g ht l y ?Or , s ho ul dI s a y , t o ol i g ht l y ? Wea r eag e ne r a t i o nf e db yf a nt a s ya nddr e a m o fs o me t hi nge x t r a o r di na r y . I fy o uwa k eupa nd ndo utt ha ty o ua r eno t hi ngbutal i v i ngl ump c ov e r e db ys k i nt ot ho us a ndso fpe o pl eo ut t he r e , j us tl i k et he ya r ea l lt oy o u, wi l li tc r us h y o u?
Ha vey o ua c c e p t e dy o ur s e l f , y e t ? Ha vey o ua c c e p t e dus ?
i nbf l a tmi no r i ft he r ewa s a ny t hi ngt oa s k f r o mt hes umme r wene v e rl o ng e d a r el o ne l i ne s s a nds he l t e r( Ho me ) – t or e s to urf r a i l bo di l yf o r m whe r e i nt hebl i s s l a ye nt wi ne di n o urf r a g i l epa i r s o fbr o k e na r ms .
g r e ywo l v e sunde r o urt hi c kc ov e r s t he yho wl e da ndc r i e d a ss mo k es e t t l e d a nd l l e dt heg a p o ns ha t t e r e dhe a r t s a nddr a i ne do utv e i ns – wedi dt heha r m a ndpl a ypr e t e nd i twa st heSun whobur ne dt het r e e s wehi debe t we e n
s e to nef o o to n r e a l i t y – r e pe a tt he s ewo r ds : dono tl e tg o o rl e ti ts l i p a ndt ur ni nt o c a t a s t r o phy l i k ei tdi dwhe n wema det hec a l l t os hutt hedr a pe s a ndl e a v et hes t a g e t hepl a yt heba nd
awi nt e r ’ sni g ht wa sno te no ug h; ( s hewhi s pe r e ds o f t a ndmi l d)be c a us e i no urs l e e pso r i ns i deo urhe a ds , wes ho ul ds t i l lwa l t z t ot hes i g ho f mut e dr o a dwo r k a ndc he r i s he dt ho ug ht s r e a da l o udi n ba tmi no r .
t hef a ul t yc l a i ms a ndr o t t i ngpi l e s o funs ungbo ne s dus t e da nddo ne ; wec l o s e do ure y e s a ndc o unt e dt ot hr e e f o ra l lwes e e wa sa g o ny ( a ndj e a l o us y ) unc e r t a i nl y bur ni ngi nt o e t e r ni t y .
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Si ngmel ul l abi est i l lIf al lasl eepi n yourar ms. Sweetdr eamsf orbot hofust i l lt he mor ni ngcomes. Nadi r aNovi andi t a “ Hi ,I ’ m Di r af r om Engl i shDepar t ment2015. ”
Paw,Or der ,Ar r ow Far hanBar i dwan “ Myname’ sFar han,andIwor kf or . . . youguys.Anyway ,her e' smysubmi ssi on.Cheer s. ”
I magi ne. Ni kenPr at i wi “ Dr awnwhenIshoul dbewr i t i ng Sur veyofAmer i canLi t er at ur e essay . ”
Mer mai d”and“ Wol f ” AnandaBayu. “ Youpr obabl yknow meas t hat gi r l whosenamesoundsl i kea boy' s.Cl assof2013.And.yes,I dr aw t hi ngs,t oo. ”