H E A LT H & W E L L N E S S
INTIMACY HOW CAN YOU AND YOUR SWEETIE DEEPEN THE BOND?
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BY ABRIL GREEN
e know sex is this complicated, multi-tiered subject and deserves to be dissected before indulging straight in. So, when it comes to dating, like, actually getting to know someone, do we want to complicate that even the more by adding sex to it? While intercourse is a highly tempting thing, there are other ways to express and share intimacy, especially while dating. Emotional Intimacy: Learning someone and their mind; falling in love with their personality and listening to their innermost thoughts can create an undeniable closeness. The goal, when we are dating, is learning someone. Simply having conversations about life, things we love/dislike, what makes us happy/sad, the joys and pains of our childhood, can open doors to honesty and build bridges of trust needed for the relationship to advance. In dating, this can look like going out for ice cream and sharing personal experiences; discussing our passions and things we advocate for. This can heighten our interest in someone and draw us closer to them. Experiential Intimacy: Experiences! What better way to grow connected to someone than through experiences? Sure, a nice dinner is great as a first date, but what about an experience? Have you ever taken a walk along the beach as a first date? Maybe a bike ride? Had a homemade picnic in the park? These aren’t our typical first dates but can make great first experiences and leave lasting first impressions. Having someone to cook for you, instead of going out to dinner is experiential intimacy. And this is reciprocated both
22 ONYX MAGAZINE
ways: It’s doing something for someone that they’ve never had, and it’s doing something you’ve never done. Physical Intimacy: This is not to be mistaken for sexual intimacy. The difference is there’s no sex involved. Physical intimacy is our hugs and kisses and holding hands. Once we learn to like someone good enough through emotional intimacy, we become comfortable enough with them to be physical. Holding hands can actually be a stress reliever. It decreases the level of cortisol, which is a stress hormone and releases oxytocin which is the hormone that strengthens empathy and communication. Being comfortable and relaxed around people can open doors of honesty and strengthen communication. Spiritual Intimacy: For a lot of people, being equally-yoked is important. This simply means sharing the same faith and being a believer in a higher power. Through this form of intimacy, you are allowed to share your beliefs and morals in regard to how you perceive life and its obstacles. It’s being able to worship together and pray for each other. These intimacies are extremely important forms to navigate through when dating. It covers everything and leaves nothing left to the imagination. Unlike sex, it isn’t temporary. When invested in properly, these can win successfully for your dating experiences. Abril Green (Edwards) is an author, spoken word artist and motivational speaker.
