Self defeating behaviour

Negative patterns of behaviour that stop you attaining your goals. This pattern emerges from the belief that we are not good enough and a fear that we will not achieve what we want or that it will show that we are a failure. Below is a list of many common Self Defeating Behaviour with a short description.

by Jacqui Sayer-Noble H.E.A.L.L / JSN Therapies

Physical and mental neglect. Is a failure of not looking after self which includes not getting enough rest, food and nourishment. Lacking in personal hygiene, medical care and not caring about self. Self criticism Always fi nding fault in what they do, how they look a fear of not being good enough. Self pity/Blaming others. Feeling sorry for self and believing that others have an advantage that you have not. Passive/ People pleasing. Feeling not able to stand up for one self and feeling uncomfortable socially, always apologising. Perfectionism. When someone is a perfectionist they believe every thing that they do has to be one hundred percent perfect. So those with this type of behaviour miss out on doing things for fear that they may be criticised if they are not perfect. Procrastination. Holding back and putting off what you want to do because you fear that what you want to do may not be successful. Comparing self with others. Belief that others are more attractive, cleverer, wealthier, confi dent, ambitious. Refusing help. They know that they need help but by accepting help makes them feel less in control and acknowledges that they have a problem. Over spending. Some may use overspending to relieve stress and anxiety, others as a means to impress others. Relationship sabotage. Is often due to a fear of closeness or a fear of intimacy as getting close and then loosing that would be too hurtful.

All the above behaviours can be changed by learning how to love yourself and accept that you are enough. The Self Defeating Behaviours below are more serious behaviours that require more specialised help. Self harming, Under/Over Eating, Alcohol/Drug abuse, Attempting Suicide. If you feel that you have any of the above Self Defeating Behaviours I can help you.

H.E.A.L.L JSN Therapies

If you are suff ering from stress or anxiety, I can help you! 0771 785 69 99 l jacqui@jsntherapies.co.uk

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