Oregon Family Magazine

Considering Relocation Overseas ?

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Health Benefits of Pet Dogs for Kids Page 16

Trickle Down Happiness Page 20

Control the controllable.

Get your flu shot.

There’s a lot we don’t know about the present, but one thing’s for sure: We don’t want you to find out how the flu and COVID-19 interact.

So, from all of us at Oregon Medical Group, please save yourself another nasty gift from 2020 and get your flu shot now.

Call your provider’s office to reserve a COVID-safe, five-minute slot. Your insurance is very likely to cover the visit and the vaccine. So, take control and stay well.

Not yet a patient? Oregon Medical Group is now accepting new patients.

We’re Here to Help You Live Your Healthiest Life.

10 Locations • Pediatrics, Family Medicine and 20+ Specialties 2

541-242-4444 • OregonMedicalGroup.com N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

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november IN THIS ISSUE

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PEDIATRIC HEALTH Is it Influenza or Covid-19?

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CONSIDERING RELOCATING ABROAD? Essential Tips to Help You Navigate This Big Move

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14

THE COVID-19 SLIDE Suggestions to Beat It

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EARTHTALK® Global Warming and Trees

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IT’S NATIONAL PET MONTH! Emotional Benefits of Dogs for Kids

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A DAD’S EYE VIEW Thanks Anyway This month’s Dad Humor

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PARENTING NOW! Self-Care Helps the Whole Family

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FAMILY MOVIE REVIEWS For kids: The Secret Garden For adults: Enola Holmes

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PET RESCUE SPOTLIGHT Kitty: Zoe Doggie: Seiva

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Newborns to young adults, we are with you every step of the way.

Ross Newman, M.D., F.A.A.P, welcomes a newborn patient to the world.

We are the only pediatricians who still make rounds to visit our newborn patients at PeaceHealth Sacred Heart Medical Center at RiverBend.

To schedule an appointment, call 541-HUG-KIDS. 995 Willagillespie Road, Suite 100 • 541-484-5437 • www.EugenePeds.com

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Oregon Family Magazine is distributed monthly, year-round via direct mail into homes in greater Lane County, and at high-traffic commercial locations, including Eugene, Springfield, Veneta, Elmira, and Creswell.

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YOUR FAMILY’S

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Pilar Bradshaw, M.D., F.A.A.P. Rick Epstein Bonnie L. Harris Christa Melnyk Hines Morgan Jemmali Sandi Schwartz GRAPHIC DESIGN/LAYOUT Springer Design & Illustration ADVERTISING Christi Kessler • 541.484.0434 christi@oregonfamily.com Sandy Kauten • 541.683.7452 sandy@oregonfamily.com OREGON FAMILY MAGAZINE P.O. Box 21732 • Eugene, OR 97402 541.683.7452 Email: info@oregonfamily.com Web: www.oregonfamily.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/OregonFamily

FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED SINCE 1993 Opinions expressed by contributors or advertisers are not necessarily the opinions of this publication. © 2020 Pacific Parents Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be copied or reproduced without prior expressed written permission from Pacific Parents Publishing.

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Is it Influenza or COVID-19?

by Pilar Bradshaw, M.D., F.A.A.P. Eugene Pediatric Associates

Y

our child has a fever of 101, as well as a cough and r unny nose— could it be influenza or COVID-19? That’s a common question parents will face this fall and winter, as both the flu and COVID-19 are contagious and will be spreading throughout the seasons.

Common symptoms of BOTH influenza and COVID-19 The challenge parents and health care providers face in identifying these illnesses is that both influenza and COVID-19 have similar symptoms, including:

• Fever/chills • Cough • Shortness of breath, difficulty breathing • Extreme tiredness • Muscle or body aches • Headache • Stuffy, runny nose • Vomiting and diarrhea One symptom more common with COVID-19 is a loss of taste or smell; however, young children often can’t express the loss of that sensation.

Compounding the matter is that both infections can cause severe symptoms in children or mild to no symptoms at all.

Flu symptoms show up about 1-4 days after exposure to a sick person. COVID-19 symptoms appear about 2-14 days after exposure. Unfortunately, with both illnesses, it is often difficult to determine exactly when you or your child was exposed.

T he only tr ue way for your health care provider to determine if your child has influenza or COVID-19 is to test for it. Both viruses can be detected through various types of nasal tests, some more reliable than others. The key is to call your health care provider as soon as your child shows any symptoms of illness to arrange a medical visit and testing.

Get a flu shot The most important difference between influenza and COVID-19 is that we have a vaccine to prevent the flu, as well as readily available antiviral drugs to help treat it. We do not have a shot or treatment to prescribe for COVID-19 at this time.

To protect your family, please take precautions by getting flu shots for everyone in your household ages 6 months and older, washing your hands often, wearing face masks in public and taking good care of your child’s general health. Call your pediatrician at the first signs of illness or if you have any questions.

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THINKING ABOUT

Moving

Abroad?

9 ESSENTIAL TIPS TO GET FROM HERE TO THERE

by Christa Melnyk Hines

W

hether you’ve been assigned to another country for work or long to globetrot with your family for other reasons, you may wonder how realistic an international move is, especially with kids.

The idea isn’t as far-fetched as it may seem.

According to four-time expat Jessica Drucker, an expat coach and author of How to Move Abroad and Why It’s the Best Thing You’ll Do, nearly nine million Americans have made the leap to live in another country.

“American expats would make up the 12th largest state in the United States if counted together,” Drucker says.

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Know Your “Why” Before pulling up stakes and moving your family abroad, consider the reasons why you want to relocate to another part of the globe.

Perhaps you’d like to introduce your children to another culture or language.

Or, maybe you’d like to “find somewhere with a slower pace of life where you actually have time to see each other; where a student having weapons at school is unheard of; or where you can travel to cities and countries nearby that would have been impossible to find time to visit while based in the States,” Drucker says.

Emily Maher, an author coach, teacher and a mom of a six-year-old, has lived in Bogota, Colombia for the past 10 years. She

Consider Age and Temperament To determine how well your kids might adjust to an international move consider their age and stage of development. A teenager who is centered in their peer relationships may have a harder time adjusting to a new country compared to a young child whose parents are the center of their universe.

If your child is more of an introvert, research suggests they may struggle with more nervousness or anxiety in the midst of a major change.

“There are also surprises,” says Katia Vlachos, an expat transition coach currently based in Switzerland and the author of A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving in Your Expat Assignment. “Perhaps the introverted

says she dreamed of living in a place that was “stimulating and exciting” ever since she was a child.

“When I was in my 20s, I moved around a lot within the United States and other countries, but never quite felt at home until I met my husband and we fell in love in Bogota,” Maher says. “I loved how the culture was warm and caring on the one hand and yet it was urban and stimulating at the same time.”

child will be better able than the extroverted one to deal with the unavoidable loneliness of the first few weeks after the move. You know your child best.”

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Planning Essentials Whether you’ve been gifted time to plan your move or if your move is immediately pending, it’s crucial to get your paperwork and finances in order before you go.

N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

“This may include residence and work permits, financial and tax matters, medical matters, other kinds of insurance, bank accounts,” Vlachos says.

The amount of paperwork and the timing to process that paperwork can vary by country.

Break up big priorities into smaller tasks and creating a timeline for yourself with what needs to be done when and by whom.

“If your move is sponsored, it’s important to be proactive—pay attention early to what kind of support your employer is providing or could potentially provide,” Vlachos says.

Schooling As you research your new destination, learn about the school system to determine what will be the best fit for your child or teen. Many American, British and International schools follow a similar curriculum to the U.S. and can make your child’s adjustment easier, while also teaching the local language. But these private schools can be expensive, especially in large urban areas where the cost of living is higher.

“You will also land in more of an expat bubble, whereby you are meeting families of fellow expats more than locals,” Drucker says. “This can feel great to have friends who understand your difficulties, but can be harder to fully integrate over time.”

If you and your family don’t speak the local language, consider hiring a tutor. And keep in mind, younger kids generally learn other languages easily and are likely to adjust quickly in a local school system.

“If you are moving to a country where you know that the level of public school education is similar (or better!) to what you expect back home, then consider enrolling them in public school,” Drucker advises.

Expect a Few Bumps Transitions are challenging no matter the circumstances, but culture shock, language barriers and general uncertainty around the unknown may have you second-guessing your decision.

“The adjustment phase can be hard. It

can be hard when your kids look to you for answers and you don’t have them or if you are going through culture shock and they are not.

You can feel a little left behind, like why can’t you adjust and they can?” Drucker says. “It is a lumpy, uneven process with ups and downs and there will definitely be times where you doubt why you ever did this to your family in the first place. That is why it is particularly important to know your ‘why’.”

To help your kids adjust, get them involved in activities they already enjoy in your new home. If they love soccer, for example, explore options for a soccer program. Not only will this help them connect with new friends, you’ll also begin to meet other families.

“Parents are often surprised at how much more quickly their kids integrate than they do. They are in school, so you meet other families. They learn the language faster than you do, consume pop culture more quickly and just generally integrate much more easily,” Drucker says.

Bridge the Gap “Something that’s critically important, but most people don’t think about when they move, is reflecting on how to make sure the family will feel at home,” Vlachos says.

Thoroughly research your destination to get a sense of what daily life is like where you are headed, including the climate, people, history, social norms and values.

“Building this familiarity helps create a sense of home much faster,” Vlachos says.

“As you research your new home, think of the elements of your current life that you would like to include into your new life. What will you miss the most? Your house, your rituals, the food, the music? Research will help you identify the best ways to maintain a connection to the elements of home that mean the most to you.”

Beware of getting too attached to your way of seeing or doing things which can make you feel isolated in your new location.

“If you hold too tightly to the perspective

of where you came from, you may always feel awkward,” Maher warns. “Question your beliefs and know your real values. People will accept you for who you are if you’re confident in who that is. Then you can choose what you like from both cultures.”

As the mom of a son, Maher says she particularly embraces the family-centered

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Acknowledge Sacrifices You and your children will likely feel the pain of saying goodbye to close friends, family, and familiar routines. You may miss out on major celebrations and life events like funerals, weddings, or anniversaries that you otherwise would have attended.

Vlachos recommends acknowledging and allowing yourselves to grieve these losses.

nature of her adopted country and the tight bonds typically formed between mothers and their sons in the Latino culture.

“But I also like being casual and authentic about the way I look and express myself, which is far more American—blue jeans and sitcom sarcasm,” she says.

Tap into Resources Gather as much information as possible through books, magazines, and online resources. “Remember, millions of people have gone before you and many have created content to help you follow in their footsteps. The resources are out there for you to find,” Drucker says.

Reach out early to other expats in the country or city where you are headed. Expat groups in specific cities and countries can be found across Facebook and are excellent resources as you research housing, schools,

typical transition issues, cost of living, climate, and social norms.

Follow local bloggers to discover as much as you can about your destination.

You might also consider hiring an expat transition coach, who can share their experiences, while delivering timely, expert advice. They can answer your questions, address specific challenges, and ease the stress and uncertainty surrounding a move abroad.

Celebrate Rewards. “The world is only going to be more and more connected,” Drucker says. “Giving your kids the gift of being global citizens with global connections and an ability to operate in a global environment is only setting them up for the kind of success the future requires.”

Freelance writer and former military brat Christa Melnyk Hines lived in Germany as a child and remembers those four years as some of the happiest of her life.

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N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

GENERATIONS OF TREES

GENERATIONS OF FAMILY

Long ago, there was a great forest fire. The mice in the forest were unable to outrun the fierce flames but the mighty Douglas Fir offered protection. Today, if you look closely at the cones of a Douglas Fir, you can still see the tiny feet and tails of the mice peeking out from the cones’ scales.

At Seneca, we are proud to be built upon generations of trees and generations of family.

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C O M B A T T I N G

T H E

Covid Slide

by Morgan Jemmali

W

hat a year! ... and it’s not over!

Employers across America now wellunderstand how interconnected our lives are, and how dependent on local schools’ families are - for reasons that stretch beyond academics and education. With some teachers mandated to online instruction, and others attending classes in potentially infected environments, our teachers have become a new line of essential worker; alongside

healthcare workers, grocery clerks, postal workers, police and firefighters; all working hard to keep life safe, and manageable.

Coaches are learning (the hard way) that being physically and mentally strong doesn’t

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stop the virus from infecting athletes and disrupting sports seasons.

But this pandemic presents more than just a health threat… Students can potentially lose more than a year of curriculum due to the “Covid Slide”! So, what can schools, teachers, and parents do to overcome the online challenges of distance learning and remote teaching? Here are some K-12 ideas and recommendations offered by Morgan Jemmali, Director of Mathnasium Eugene.

1. For the health and safety of everyone involved, equipping classrooms with 3M HEPA (high-efficiency particulate air) anti-virus filters in HVAC systems for greater protection.

2. When classroom instruction resumes, rather than dividing students into two groups, and have them alternate in-school and at-home instruction days. Students could

N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

also be divided into five groups and alternate days or weeks to optimize protection, so that in the event of infection, quarantine precautions can be taken for the 20%, instead of half of the student population.

3. For students’ mental health, offer an online “happy hour” after daily instructions.

This is a safe and fun way for students from each grade level to meet in breakout rooms and have fun cooking or drawing or singing or dancing or playing boardgames or videogames together.

4. Consider alternative online classroom models that make learning customized to fit each student’s needs. As an example, Mathnasium’s team-teaching rotation model would allow math teachers to work together, as a team, to teach any math concept to any student, from any grade level, resulting in teacher-student class ratios.

5. With technology being the fundamental foundation of this “new learning normal”, all families need access to high speed internet.

Additionally, more affordable access to private tutoring for students who might be struggling could help close the learning gap.

6. For parents, to make online learning more effective and productive, offering headsets with microphones and noise reduction (like Logitech H390 - $25) gives students a better, more productive learning experience. Also, digital pens, with a writing tablet (like XPPen Star G640 - $40) makes handwriting and drawing a lot nicer and faster.

While we wait for a proven vaccine, no paycheck is worth the health of your child.

Staying safe at home for a year is better than shortening a life by a decade. The “Covid Fatigue” is real, so patience is the new name of the game, not money, because life is priceless.

Coach Mo (“Mo the Math Pro” on STAR 102.3’s weekly show, “Become a Math Ninja”) has 2 kids in 4J French Immersion program, coaches tennis at YMCA and soccer at Eugene Timbers. He has taught math, accounting, marketing, Excel, French, and Arabic for over 20 years, and is currently the Director of Mathnasium of Eugene. Mo can be reached at eugene@mathnasium.com

EARTHTALK from the Editors of “E” the Environmental Magazine

Dear EarthTalk: How will global warming change the distribution of trees across the continental U.S.? Which types of trees and forests are most at risk?

— Mike Powers, Golden, CO

I

t’s true that climate change is already affe cting tre e distribution and forest cover in the United States (as well as everywhere), but only time will tell which tree species are most successful at adapting and whether we will lose significant amounts of forest cover overall.

“A walk in the woods or a stroll on a tree-lined street could be a very different experience just a few decades from now,” says U.S. Forest Service researcher S t e p h a n i e Wo r l e y F i r l e y.

“Higher temperatures, altered precipitation patterns, and longer growing seasons predicted for the future could require that some tree species will have to move—or be moved—into new areas where habitat will be more suitable.” She adds that some tree species may be able to stay in place by adapting to new conditions, but many others are unlikely to be able to adapt and “may succumb to the pressures of climate change.”

One example of an iconic tree

species that is already suffering from the effects of climate change is the Quaking Aspen, the most widely distributed tree species in North America. To day the tree is still common in higher elevation regions of Colorado and Utah as well as throughout the rest of the American West, but that might change in the coming decades. Researchers have been tracking the decline of aspens in Colorado for at least 20 years at the hands of climate change and related stressors. Given their shallow root systems, aspens are particularly sensitive to drought; warmer, drier weather overall as a result of global warming means more drought and more trouble for the trees moving forward. Researchers worry that aspens may be gone from the southern (and driest) band of its range within decades, and foresee drastic declines in the tree’s overall distribution as temperatures inch up, drought pervades and forest fires rage throughout the region.

Another iconic tree that has already been hit hard by global warming is the Sugar maple, famous as the source of Vermont maple syrup. Warmer winters have already shortened the syrup “tapping” season by more than 10% and if the trend continues there won’t be enough winter to sustain the $200 million/year Vermont maple syrup industry.

Some other tree species on the ropes thanks to climate change include Balsam fir, Black ash, Paper birch, White pine, Tamarack and Red spruce.

Researchers from the North Carolina-based Eastern Forest Environmental Threat Assessment Center are using forest inventory and analysis data from the U.S . Forest Service to compare where tree species occur presently with a wider range of where they could move or expand given rising temperatures and other changing landscape conditions.

By looking at how landscape, we at h e r a n d te m p e rat u re conditions will change over the next three decades based on a conser vative model of climate change, the researchers can start to project where the most suitable conditions for different types of trees might occur across the country by 2050. This kind of knowledge can help land managers prepare for the changes coming and can help planners map out forwardlooking, climate-friendly zoning patterns.

CONTACTS: A Review of the Potential Effects of Climate Change on Quaking Aspen (Populus tremuloides), fs.fed. us/psw/publications/documents/ psw_gtr235/psw_gtr235.pdf; Eastern Forest Environmental Threat Assessment Center, forestthreats.org.

EarthTalk® is produced by Roddy Scheer & Doug Moss for the 501(c)3 nonprofit EarthTalk. See more at https://emagazine.com. To donate, visit https//earthtalk.org. Send questions to: question@earthtalk.org.

Quaking aspens are just one type of iconic American tree species that’s losing ground against global warming.

O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M • N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0

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Emotional Benefits of Pet Dogs for Kids

by Sandi Schwartz

D

ogs are known to be “a man’s best friend.” Not only are they adorable, friendly, and fun to play with, they also provide so many incredible emotional benefits. Many people feel happier and calmer by welcoming a furry friend into their home. If fact, more than 38 million American households own a dog, according to an American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) survey.

Dogs, in particular, have gotten a great deal of attention lately for being a soothing friend to their human owners. A recent study by Preventing Chronic Disease revealed that having a dog as a child makes an individual less likely to suffer from anxiety later in life. Scientists compared two study groups of young children: 370 who were living with a dog and 273 who were not. They

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discovered that 12 percent of those who grew up with a pet dog suffered from anxiety compared to 21 percent who didn’t have a dog.

Here are the incredible emotional benefits of having a pet dog for children: Offers Comfort and Companionship The companionship of a pet offers coping skills for kids by alleviating loneliness and isolation, which can be part of anxiety and depression. Kids find support and security in having a pet companion to always be there for them and provide them with the feeling of unconditional love. A study published in the The Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health concluded, “There is growing evidence that children turn to their pets for comfort, reassurance, and emotional support when feeling anger, sadness, or happiness.

N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

Thus, it is plausible that companion animals may have the potential to encourage better emotional health and reduce anxiety and depression.”

Provides a Healthy Distraction Pets give children something to focus on that is positive versus the sometime negative thoughts swirling through their head. The magic of focused attention is that we can use it to help get over negative emotions like fear. We can redirect our attention towards something that relaxes us. Just petting or playing with a dog can give a child that healthy distraction they need to feel better.

Boosts Positive Hormones The simple act of petting a dog has been shown to release endorphins into our brain,

which are powerful pain relievers and mood boosters. These are the same hormones that give us pleasure and that feeling of a natural “high.” Petting a dog also reduces cortisol, the hormone that is released in response to stressful situations. Dog owners are also less likely to be depressed, and in fact, have higher levels of serotonin and dopamine than non-dog owners.

• Participate in a therapy dog reading program at your local library.

Increases Social Interaction Being social boosts happiness at all ages.

Having a dog provides new ways to interact with more neighbors and friends. For example, when you go for a walk with your dog around the neighborhood, you will probably run into people to chat with. You can venture out with your kids to the park and see friends or make new ones. Dogs tend to also be a hot topic, so having a dog helps to initiate conversations with both those you know and those you want to know better.

• Foster a rescued dog temporarily or volunteer with the rescue organization.

Encourages More Exercise We know how important exercise is for our physical and mental health. Having a dog to walk helps us get more exercise, which ultimately reduces stress. A study out of the University of Missouri showed the best companion for a walk is your dog. The study showed that individuals who walked alone with a dog averaged 300 minutes a week of walking versus 168 minutes a week if they walked with family or friends. The study also found that those who walked a dog reached the recommended level of physical activity for their age group 50 percent more often when compared to those walking without a dog.

But what if you can’t (or aren’t interested in) owning your own dog? There are so many reasons why having a dog just isn’t possible: allergies, your partner or child doesn’t want one, your apartment or neighborhood doesn’t allow it, you travel too much, illness, financial constraints, etc. There are ways that you and/ or your children can still enjoy time with dogs to feel happier and calmer. Here are some ideas:

• Partner up with a friend or relative who owns a dog to volunteer with the animal to do community service like therapy visits or participating in a dog-friendly charity walk, run, or another event.

• Offer to watch after a friend’s dog while they are out of town.

• See if your school will start an adopt-adog program or at least bring in a dog occasionally. Research shows that classroom pets provide significant benefits for children’s social, behavioral, and academic development.

Sandi Schwartz is a freelance writer/blogger and mother of two. She has written extensively about parenting, wellness, and environmental issues. You can find her at www.happysciencemom.com and www.sandischwartz.com.

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• Volunteer to walk dogs at an animal shelter.

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A DAD’S EYE VIEW Humor by Rick Epstein

Thanks Anyway T

hanksgiving is not a big day on the kid calendar, but it is situated auspiciously.

On that day, each child is asked to think about all that he has and, once his brain is revved up, it is sent chugging forward toward the gift-receiving season to think about (and list) all that he thinks he OUGHT to have.

Last Thanksgiving I took aside my daughter Marie (then age 6) to discuss our many blessings.

But when she detects one of her dad’s public-service announcements (it must be my tone of voice), she gives me one minute to make my point. I usually can’t do it before she puts the figurative hook around my neck and pulls me off the stage – either by going glassy-eyed or changing the subject. She is willing to talk some light philosophy, but only on topics of her own choosing. (“Can I marry Cousin Amanda?” or “Can invisible people see each other?”)

So Marie prepares for Thanksgiving by tracing her hand to make turkeys and by learning about the Pilgrims. In preschool a couple years ago she picked up the idea that the Pilgrims came to Massachusetts to help the Native Americans, in sort of a Peace Corps arrangement. I’ve tried to explain to her that the Pilgrims came here for religious freedom (and to burn a few heretics), and it was the Indians who helped the Pilgrims, but Marie clings to her misconceptions. I also tell her that the first Thanksgiving dinner was a celebration of a harvest that would keep the Pilgrims from starving during the winter.

But Marie is a picky eater whose likes and dislikes change so

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N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

frequently that they can’t be accurately predicted from meal to meal. She sees no connection between food and survival. For her, Thanksgiving is a day “when everybody expects you to eat more than you can.” And it’s foolish to expect her to like turkey, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie all on the same day.

Her 3-year-old sister Sally has no problem with Thanksgiving dinner.

But for her it’s a time for self expression. Her favorite food is cranberry sauce – not for eating, but as an artistic medium. A few bold strokes of indelible red can turn a white linen tablecloth into something that will be marveled at for years to come.

The saying of grace provides a special opportunity for her. It isn’t easy to cut into an animated adult conversation, but when only one adult is speaking in a slow, quiet way, the near-silence is like a blank wall to a graffiti artist, and Sally will pipe right up with whatever non sequitur comes to her squirrelish little mind.

As for the other trappings of the holiday, Sally is at an in-between age – old enough to recognize a picture of a turkey and clueless on Pilgrims.

Her youth exempts her from my preaching about giving thanks, but she loves brawling with her little cousins.

So for Sally it’s not exactly the same event it is for the rest of America.

I enjoy the gathering of the clan and the good food associated with Thanksgiving Day, but I keep seeing that famous Norman Rockwell painting – the one that shows three generations of red-cheeked Americans about to close in on a golden-brown turkey. Seated at my father’s big dining-room table, I look around at his squirming, clamoring grandchildren and the harried adults who are trying to keep peace while clumsily circulating platters in unfamiliar traffic patterns.

I’d be thinking Rockwell, but I’d have flashes of Hieronymus Bosch. He’s a Dutch painter from the 1400s whose best stuff consists of scary scenes containing hundreds of wicked imps, distorted pieces of food and weird creatures all simultaneously up to no good.

It makes me feel as though we’re not doing Thanksgiving properly.

How do you raise pious children whose thoughts and sentiments are all packed up and ready to go when the calendar or their dad says it’s time. Dress them in black and put them on half-rations until the big day? Or maybe I should just offer up my own thanks that my kids don’t understand Thanksgiving because they’ve never known anything but abundance.

Rick can be reached at rickepstein@yahoo.com.

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Wishing You and Your Family a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving Holiday.

O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M • N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0

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Self-Care Happiness Trickles Down

by Parenting Now!

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hildren contribute to our lives in so many ways. We experience fun, joy, wonder, and connectedness with them. But life with young children can also bring fatigue and frustration. You spend so much energy on their needs that it’s hard to meet your own.

Over time, neglecting to keep up with your own needs—such as spending time with friends, fitting in exercise, and eating well—can leave you feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and even depressed. You may find yourself not able to parent as well as you’d like to.

Research tells us that there are special benefits for children when their parents take good care of themselves. Learn about these benefits and how you can balance your own child’s needs with your own needs.

Taking care of yourself is a learning process. You start by recognizing that it’s not only OK to take care of your own needs but it’s important. Then, you can look for opportunities to take care of yourself, including exercising, getting enough sleep,

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eating well; and making time for friends and personal interests.

When you care for yourself, you have more to give to your child. The best kind of self-care is often the simplest, and it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either. It just needs to be something you do regularly that nourishes your soul and “fills your cup,” whether it’s painting, reading, or hiking.

Start by setting some goals for yourself.

This could include: • Plan activities that take care of myself physically • Plan activities that take care of myself socially and emotionally • Participate in activities that stimulate me intellectually

• Have regular adult time with partner/ another adult friend • Read one chapter of a book per day • Write in a journal • Listen to music Once your goals and action plan are set, ask yourself: “What is getting in the way of me taking care of myself physically, emotionally, and intellectually?” Then, think about some ways you can overcome these obstacles.

When you care for yourself, you are a good role model for your child, and you teach them to care for themselves, too! And best of all, you keep yourself happier and healthier so you can be there for your child.

• Write in your own goal Then, make an action plan to meet these goals. This could include: • Build in alone time for myself • Connect with friends and family through phone or Internet

N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

To learn more about infant development, sign up for Parenting Now!’s Incredible INFANTs program, which meets virtually on Zoom every other week for 10 sessions. The next Incredible INFANTs program starts on October 21. Call 541-434-4343 or email enroll@parentingnow.org to register.

MOVIE TIME for Stay-at-Home Streaming!

by Bonnie L. Harris

Secret Happiness Sky Cinema Rated: PG Streaming on Amazon

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s film adaptations go, The Secret Garden not only honors the beloved classic novel by keeping the characters, location, and plot faithfully intact, but it also brings a breath of fresh 21st century imagination into a staunchly British story. Director Marc Munden gives his audience a phenomenal visual experience without the distraction of too much dialogue which encourages viewers, both young and old, to empathize with the orphaned Mary Lennox as she learns about

the hardships of the world. He also weaves a heartfelt story of lost motherhood into the original plot that explains Mary’s foul temper and selfish personality.

Although she’s sent to live with her curmudgeonly Uncle and is forced to spend her days alone and unloved, we begin to root for Mary’s small accomplishments like befriending Jemima the dog and discovering the long-forgotten secret garden behind a ver y imposing wall. In the book, it’s a small ornamental garden in disrepair, but in Munden’s film, the secret garden exists as an extension

Mary and her first friend. of the wild forest that calls to Mary’s inner child. As Mary develops kindness, compassion, and selflessness, the garden becomes even more beautiful and domesticated. When Mary

and her friend, Dickon, bring her sickly cousin, Colin, to the garden, they truly believe that its magic can change his life and

FOR THE PARENTS Game’s Afoot!

Enola Holmes Legendary Pictures, Rated: PG-13 Streaming on Netflix

while also searching for her missing mother.

It’s a fast-paced, clue by clue adventure that takes Enola from her quiet country home to

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ombine the detective work of Nancy Drew, the resourcefulness of Lara Croft, and the integrity of Hermione Granger and you’ll have the exciting new Netflix heroine, Enola Holmes. She’s the teenage sister of the famous Sherlock Holmes, and she proves in her first film feature that she’s even better at solving mysteries than her famous brother. Set at the turn of the century, old-fashioned sense and modern ingenuity allows Enola to save an errant Marquess from the clutches of his family

Enola surprises her brothers.

cure him. Unfortunately, Mary must struggle with her Uncle and the suspicious housekeeper, Mrs. Medlock, over her unruly b e h av ior b o t h i n s ide a nd outside the manor. All the while, memories of Mary’s mother mix with the memories of Colin’s mother, not only because they were sisters, but also because their loving spirits continue to watch over their children.

The movie ending is much more exciting than the book, and Mary’s heroism is rewarded with a final, satisfying goodbye to her mother. Keep a tissue handy and enjoy!

the noisy streets of London where she tangles with a nasty assassin and her vindictive oldest brother, Mycroft Holmes. He’s determined to lock her away in boarding school, but younger brother Sherlock runs interference so Enola can solve her case. Surprising twists, enticing puzzles, and plenty of disguises add up to a wonderful escapade made even better by the talented Millie Bobby Brown as the irrepressible Enola. And hats off to Helena Bonham Carter as Enola’s mother who raises a smart, selfsufficient, caring, but cunning daughter who’s ready for the next thrilling cliffhanger.

O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M • N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0

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RESCUE SPOTLIGHT

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he Cat Rescue & Adoption Network is looking for a very special FOSTER HOME for Zoe, a cute and friendly black and white tuxedo female kitty about 15 years old. She is currently in a multi-cat foster facility, and since she strongly dislikes other cats, this sweet and affectionate girl is stressed. She will thrive in a quiet home with NO other pets (cats or dogs). Zoe is a diva with a quirky personality who adores being petted and loves all the attention she can get. She needs a cat-savvy foster person, as she requires some special care. CRAN will provide all her supplies, including her prescription diet. She is spayed, vaccinated, microchipped, defleaed & dewormed, and negative for Felv & FIV. Please specify “ZOE” and call 541-225-4955 Option 4, or fill out a Cat Foster Application online at https://catrescues.org/forms/

eet Seiva, a very sweet, smiley lady looking for love! She can be a little nervous when meeting new people but once she warms up to you, she is a huge love bug. Seiva is a very smart girl and hoping her new family will continue with positive reinforcement training. She is an absolute pro at fetch and would be the perfect adventure partner.

Seiva’s perfect day would start with a long hike and end on the couch for some cuddling.

Seiva is a 7 year old pitbull terrier mix with white fur and brown spots. She needs to be the only pet in the home and weighs between 55-65 lbs. She is up to date on her vaccines, is spayed, microchipped and has a free virtual training consultation sponsored by Creative Canine Solutions. Seiva is the sweetest girl around and very deserving of a forever family!

If you are interested in adopting a dog, or would like to learn more about adding a dog to your family, please visit Greenhill Humane Society. Greenhill Humane Society is open for adoptions by appointment seven days a week, 11 am – 6 pm at 88530 Green Hill Rd in Eugene. For more information call (541) 689.1503 or visit www.green-hill.org

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N O V E M B E R 2 0 2 0 • O R E G O N F A M I LY. C O M

For an online directory of where to find over 200 repair businesses, FiX iT Fairs, resources and more, visit www.fixitlanecounty.com.

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Check all the boxes for you and those you care about: Get preventive screenings Make sure medications are getting refilled Get new health issues diagnosed Get a flu vaccination and any needed immunizations Check developmental skills (for children) Stay physically and mentally active (especially for older adults)

For a complete checkup checklist by age group, visit peacehealth.org/challenge