First Steps 2009

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THE NEWS FIRST STEPS

Special report by CowTV1 and FarM Radio

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e have great news. The scientific institute of Mirna Peč has presented a new way of torturing. The inventor Astronaut has been working on this project for many years and now he has finally succeeded. ‘I have experimented on my pupils and many experiments have gone bad and the pupils got away with a good mark. But not anymore.’ says the Astronaut happily. The Astronaut has ‘Gone Alien’, as the Astronaut named his new torturing design which punishes pupils so bad that they never get a good mark again. A lot of homework, nonstop oral grading and testing are now the most popular methods of torture. You can buy the book ‘Astronaut Gone Alien’ on this website: www.virus-donotopen.com. t happened on a beautiful rainy day. Everything was OK, but Skinny was kind of unhappy and nervous... He was silent until he lost his nerves. He ran to the nearest store and bought two packs of cigarettes. Then he ran home and shaved his ass. Now he is as he is. Don’t ask us why. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa! he Cough Machine has built a new airport on the roof of her house! Now, she has a new garage too; it’s for three helicopters. She can’t drive a car, but she is able to fly a helicopter. he Big Boss bought a new cigarette machine an hour ago! It was full when it arrived, now it’s empty! All thanks goes to Skinny and his mother. arbie Cop picked up a piece of trash for the first time! She almost broke her nails, but now she is proud of losing fear of the trash. he musician has started a new band! It’s just bad that that the band was finished the next day. Some people say that he had to tune the strings of another member’s guitar. Unfortunately all the strings snapped and the member left the band. So the band broke up. Really sad for such a talent! r Behind-the-Drava has appeared in front the Drava for the first time. All the citizens of the city of Dravograd were happy to see him, but he was, surprisingly, drinking Laško and wearing Maribor’s scarf.

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Editorial Board: Mitja Avgustincic, Klemen Barbo, and Luka Zagar Mirna Pec Primary School, June 2009

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ARNING – SPECIAL REPORT! The citizens of Mirna Peč were very confused last night when suddenly a strange light surrounded them. We came to know that Bakery H2O fell in the river Temenica and H2O + C6H12O6 + trinitrotoluene + NaCl made a big SPLAASH! So, don’t go near Mirna Peč Primary School! You can be seriously injured. onroe opened a new store called New Worker! At the beginning it looked like no one would come to buy anything, but as people heard how nice the employees there were, a big group of people came waiting for the store to open the next day. It looks like this store is the new and better New Yorker. nother terrible news. Black Coffee has decided to have an extra large coffee. The problem was that coffee was so extra large that the kitchen at Mirna Peč Primary School has ran out of it. This is a big problem because Black Coffee goes on a coffee instead of oil like other teachers. No one knows what will happen next. nother tragedy in Mirna Peč. This 567890'9876589076548 tragedy occured yesterday to the Hairless Christian. He was coaching his team and he wanted to whistle but he forgot he can’t do that. So, he swallowed his tongue. The injured has been taken to the hospital immediately. Now he is in the hospital, eating Čokolino and reading the Holy Bible. He is in our prayers. he computer guy is now known as the all-computer-knowing machine. His knowledge about the computers is so big that even the books about computers could learn from him. Respect!

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