HEDDA LETTUCE: STILL FUNNY AND FRESH

Catching Up With The Drag Icon

BY JOSEPH FENITY

So just how long does a head of lettuce stay fresh? A quick internet search suggests a couple of weeks, if you’re lucky. For Hedda Lettuce, it’s been a lucky last three decades. In an era overpopulated with drag queens, Steve Polito refuses to wilt away. I recently caught up with the world’s most famous green haired drag queen to chat about her latest show and her love affair with Puerto Vallarta.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length.

JOSEPH FENITY: YOU’RE CELEBRATING A DECADE OF PERFORMING IN PUERTO VALLARTA. WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE AND WHY PV?

HEDDA LETTUCE: About 10 years ago I was working on an Atlantis cruise ship and we had an overnight stay in Puerto Vallarta. Since we had a full night, they stuck us all in little minivans—all the queers squeezed in these little vans—and they drove us to the Romantic Zone. That's when I went to Paco's Ranch and saw this beautiful boy—and he saw me. My friend said, “Don't go home with anybody, especially in a foreign country.” But gay people don't listen. We make up our own rules. So, I gladly left with him. Now he didn't speak English and I didn't speak any Spanish. We walked to his neighborhood in Emiliano Zapata and I saw these chickens and roosters and I'm like, “Where are we? What is going on? Is this finally it for me?” So, we get to his building and we walk up one flight of stairs and then another flight and another. Finally, we get to the roof and now I’m really thinking, “Oh my God, this is it—this is the end.” But up on the roof was a cabana and we made love for two hours on that rooftop. Then there was a full moon afterwards. We walked down those seven flights of stairs and went to a nearby taco stand. I ate a taco and somehow I didn't get sick. Then on my walk back through town, I see posters and banners of most of my contemporaries at the time. I’m thinking, “Wow, why is she here? She's performing here?” I thought, “Oh, this could be interesting.”

JF: HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR COMEDY AND MATERIAL FRESH ALL OF THESE YEARS?

HL: Well, I’m a singer and comedian, but I'm also known for my audience work. I love working off a live audience and being in the moment. So, while my show has many points I have to hit, there's also a lot of time to play, where it can go anywhere. So no show is the same, it goes in any direction.

JF: TELL US ABOUT YOUR CURRENT SHOW, ROMAINE CALM!

HL: Well I didn't realize that [the title] would be a sort of prophecy, you know? Naming it “Romaine Calm!” But now, with what's happening globally in terms of the recent U.S. presidential election, it's perfect timing. I didn’t think [the election] was going to go the way that it did. So the show’s title has become really poignant—now it really means something. I'm actually doing a lot of jokes around what's going on with all of that right now.

JF: YOU’RE STILL LOOKING GREAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. HOW ARE YOU KEEPING YOURSELF FRESH AND CRISP?

HL: Right? It's not too bad. It's all still holding together. Over the last several years, I've been more health conscious. I saw a lot of my contemporaries burn out because of X, Y, or Z and so I was like, “Oh, I better just pull back on X, Y, or Z.” I also think living in a tropical climate and in a different culture definitely keeps you fresh. It certainly changes your perspective on life and it adds energy to your material. I've become a much better performer working here in PV.

JF: WHAT IS THE FEELING YOU GET WHEN STEVEN PUTS ON THE HEDDA DRAG? TELL ME ABOUT THE FINAL WIG ADJUSTMENT AND THAT LAST TOUCH OF LIPSTICK. DO YOU BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON?

HL: Well, it’s sort of like—it can be like a possession of sorts. So there's a lot I’ve had to temper over the years. It’s a balancing act. There's you and then you kind of cross over and you feel you can get into it a lot. It's a challenge. I consider myself more of an actor per se. Not that I don't love the “drag queen” title, it’s great. It has “queen” in it, so it's wonderful! It's got royal edges to it. But I consider myself more of an actor because in my everyday life I don't carry that with me. I don't really need to stand out as much [when out of drag], I don't need to be the center of attention. I get that on stage and that gets it out of my system. I don't need to be the focus in my everyday life, only on Thursdays at eight o'clock!

JF: HAVE YOU HAD ANY MEMORABLE ON-STAGE MISHAPS?

HL: Getting nearly electrocuted. I was on stage at Barracuda in New York City with another queen and something was happening with the microphone while we were doing a Celine Dion song. There was a short in the mic and we were both thrown to the back of the stage and slid down the wall. Oddly enough—and I don't know how this happened—but her wig hair was standing up. I don't know how but the hair on her wig stood up. The audience howled—no one had a clue!

Another time I had the most luxurious Rita Hayworth-ish heavy red hair and I'm feeling gorgeous. Then I spin around and the wig has so much weight at the bottom that when I spun around it flew off and landed on someone's lap. Luckily I had a Liza wig in my purse.

That's how you learn improvisation skills and that's how I learned to be a really great improvisational performer. Working off the audience and stuff like that.

JF: WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT YOUR LETTUCE LEGACY?

HL: Well, I'm not done. I'm at this point where I'm old, but not old. I'm like middle aged, you know? So I still have time in front of me. Who knows what's gonna happen?!

EDITOR’S NOTE: Hedda Lettuce begins having a conversation with herself while impersonating the voice of an imaginary fan reflecting on her legacy.

“Hedda Lettuce? Oh yeah!” “Wait, is she dead?” “No, she's still alive.”

“She lives in Mexico—I saw her at the fruit market!” “Oh yeah—she's performing down there.”

HL: You know what? I love Puerto Vallarta. In fact, this city is one of the top LGBTQ destinations in the world. So being here is not like you’ve disappeared.

JF: YOU’RE NOT OFF IN SOME SMALL VILLAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE

HL: Right! We have international crowds who pay money to see a live show. It’s not like I just rode into town on a donkey with a couple of chickens and my backup dancers. Being in PV is great. But I do really wish I could train those chickens.

Hedda Lettuce can be seen weekly in her show, “Romaine Calm" at The Palm Cabaret and at Bawdy Bingo at La Catrina Cantina. For more information or to get tickets to see her live, visit heddalettuce.com

TO READ MORE INTERVIEWS BY JOSEPH FENITY, VISIT JOSEPHFENITY.COM.

Effie Passero

Angie Nuñez Changes Tires and Minds

In Male Dominated Environment

BY ZIA AHMAD

Maria de los Angeles Nuñez Barraza, also known as Angie, reflects the heart of Puerto Vallarta, as she goes about her daily life as a tire mechanic and branch manager at Radial Llantas. She’s part of Puerto Vallarta’s LGBTQ+ community, where the true essence is often hidden beneath the surface.

Her journey, marked by love, resilience, and unwavering commitment to her work and community, embodies the spirit of unsung heroes who enrich the tapestry of life around us.

These humans of Puerto Vallarta— these pillars of the LGBTQI+ community—go about their lives, unnoticed, yet they play a vital role in the fabric of society. They face each day with a smile, providing for their families and contributing to their community. They deserve our attention. Angie is one such person who deserves recognition for her role in making Puerto Vallarta a wonderful place to live. This is her story.

I met Maria, also known as Angie, during the summer of 2024 at Radial Llantas while shopping for tires for my vehicle and was immediately drawn to her. Angie grew up in Las Palmas de Arriba, a town about an hour away from Puerto Vallarta.

Minutes into talking to her, it became clear that Angie lived her life authentically and embraced her identity. I could tell that she actively seeks spaces where love and acceptance flourish.

We—gays—must have an odor permeating the space around us or a cloud hovering above our heads, noticeable only to other queers. Because amid my horrible attempts at speaking Spanish, I sensed her gaze registering a sign of recognition, acknowledging me. Through that invisible bond, through that sense of shared experience and connection, Angie smilingly mentioned living with her wife.

And I was in gay heaven! As a recent car owner nervously shopping for automotive parts, I felt reassured by Angie’s expertise. Doesn’t the saying go something like ‘You want to get a by: Oscar Almeida job done right, entrust a lesbian’?

It rang true in this instance, as she confidently suggested the best set of tires for my Suzuki Jimny and even scheduled an appointment for me the following day. And just like that, she put my mind at ease. I slept soundly that night, knowing I was in good hands.

Communicating with her, it became evident that Angie finds a strong sense of belonging within the LGBTQI+ community, surrounded by others who understand her unique experiences and challenges.

Angie met her wife—Elia Cristina Zepeda Valadez—six years ago. It was a chance encounter. Elia reached out to her about a job opening at Radial Llantas. Some time passed, and Elia reconnected with Angie after her previous relationship had ended. They met one evening, chatted, and, before they knew it, they were surrounded by the early morning crimson light smeared across the sky. Angie knew then, amid the streaks of pink quickly spreading across the horizon, that she was falling in love with Elia.

“I made her my wife in June of this year,” Angie shared with me. “We are very happy.”

Now, their weekends are filled with laughter as they go shore fishing and savor the local cuisine. One of their favorite spots is the Muxe Bar, which—while not explicitly an LGBTQI+ destination—offers them a welcoming atmosphere as a female couple.

“We love to go out dancing, have a good cocktail, but above all escape on weekends to be in touch with nature. We equally love days staying home with our dog babies and enjoy family movie marathons,” Angie said.

Angie has been with Radial Llantas for six years where hours can be long in a demanding environment as the branch manager.

She wears multiple hats performing various activities: from customer service to sales offerings to the application of tires even. Angie takes pride in being part of the company and values her teamwork.

“Nothing worth having comes easy, but I have a motto: if one person succeeds in their role, we all succeed together,” she told me during our exchange.

Her hands are her tools, she said, for providing excellent service to each client.

Angie acknowledges that working in an industry traditionally dominated by men has its challenges. But she faces those challenges head-on. According to her, her determination to succeed makes each day an exciting opportunity. Committed to championing equal rights and visibility for her community, she stands proudly in her role.

“Being a woman in this mechanical workspace speaks volumes about societal progress,” Angie noted. “The fact that roles once reserved for men are now held by women like me highlights the importance of labor diversity.”

Angie's story serves as a powerful reminder of the strength and resilience found within Puerto Vallarta's LGBTQI+ community. In every automotive product she sells and every smile she shares, Angie leaves a mark, reminding us all to honor the everyday heroes who contribute so much to the world around us. outandaboutpv.com

ENGAGED AT LOS MUERTOS

ON NOV 9 2024

GOURMET HOT DOGS, STYLISH BARS,AND LGBTQ+ FRIENDLY

Puerto Vallarta' business community continues to evolve, with a wave of exciting new businesses opening their doors. From gourmet hotdogs to stylish bars and unique accommodations, there's something for everyone.