April 6, 2015: Anniversary Issue

APRIL 06, 2016 | OUTFRONTONLINE .COM | FREE

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CONTENTS APRIL 06, 2016 VOL40 NO01

06 06 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 20 KIDS ARE THE SCARIEST STD 22 ON SET: COLORADO’S FILM LOCATIONS 30 ANGKOR WHAT? CAMODIA’S ANCIENT MEGA-CITY

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32 HUMANI-TOURISM RESCUING CRITTERS IN/OUT OF COLORADO

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38 CAPE TOWN AND DOWN ( ... TO GO BACK) 46 LET’S MANEUVER VANCOUVER ISLAND 50 UNSAFE TRAVELS: UNDERSTANDING TOURISM AND STDS 54 BUENOS AIRES: THE PARIS OF SOUTH AMERICA 56 MAKING A MOTION FOR SICKNESS 62 SHOPPING FOR HIGH-QUALITY GUYS 66 DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: THE UBIQUITY OF LONELINESS

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SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 PHONE 303-477-4000 • FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontOnline.com FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE Editor RYAN HOWE Digital Content Manager BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist RACHEL BECHER Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Don Alderson, Paul Bindel, Chad Chisholm, Mariya Foxter, Miles Griffis, Carly Holbrook, Rick Kitzman, Kelsey Lindsey, David-Elijah Nahmod, Stephen M. Small, Yvonne Wright, Mike Yost ART art@outfrontonline.com TRISHA HIMMLER Art Director CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Charles Broshous, Chris Chisholm, Luca Galuzzi, Adam Green, Tor Johnson, Magnus Larsson, Felix Plakolb, Thea Sitjtsma, Montage Kapalua MARKETING & SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com DUSTIN KRIER Director of Sales & Marketing JORDAN JACOBS Senior Marketing Executive TOPHER LA FLEUR Marketing Executive NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | sales@rivendellmedia.com DISTRIBUTION

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OUT FRONT is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: NEPA, Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and Denver Drama Critics Circle.

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40 EDITOR’S LETTER

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[1] that old fashioned one-on-one time // 09.11.87 [2] the imperial court’s been giving it for decades // 04.21.78 [3] a star is born // 07.08.77

s it’s our 40th, we thought it’d be fun to select a few pieces from the archives to show the many growth stages of OUT FRONT. It’s a riot to see how the publication evolved from a sprinkling of gay news inside a 70s moustache catalog (complete with male full-frontal that today’s advertisers and PR companies would never allow, sorry to report) to a reliable and often hilarious source of local and national LGB (and later T) news and opinion pieces. OUT FRONT helped weather the storm on a number of issues that faced our community, from the HIV/AIDS outbreak to today’s bathroom bills and birth certificate disgraces. We chronicled some of our top stories in a previous birthday issue, which is available online if you’d like to see a recap of our historical coverage. For our 40th, we’re going to show OUT FRONT’s metaphorical “baby in the tub” pictures with absolute pride.

Join us as we carve out a section in our annual Travel Issue to witness our humble publication’s sometimes awkward (but always entertaining) coverage of news and events that have impacted our community over the years. Raise a glass of Geritol in solidarity as we celebrate 40 amazing years and head to bed at 6pm with dreams and aspirations going into our 41st.

Cheers from RiNo! — The OUT FRONT Team

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[1] summer’s coming, get your desert kaftan today // 03.15.77 [2] so many childhood hours lost to these gems // 10.19.90 [3] Obama’s getting that pink vote // 10.29.08

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[1] a missed connection // 07.30.97 [2] did anyone actually pay for their columbia house CDs? // 01.18.91

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LEGAL DIRECTORY

DO YOU REALLY NEED A WILL? You’ve likely heard the advice about the importance of having a will. To help figure out if a will is right for you, here are five things to keep in mind: WHO WILL GET YOUR STUFF?

The most common and simple reason to make a will is to decide who will get your property.

Without a will, state laws determine how your property will be distributed.

WHO WILL HANDLE THINGS?

You can use a will to name an executor — someone you trust who will take care of all your final affairs and wishes. Without a will, a court will appoint someone to do the job.

WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THE KIDDOS?

A will is the only place to designate a guardian to care for your children. Without a will, a court will decide who will be their caretaker.

Moreover, if you leave property to children, the process must be managed by an adult, which should also be designated in a will.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR PETS?

Use a will to name a trusted caretaker for your pet(s). You can also leave money to that person to help them with pet-care expenses.

Using a will isn’t your only option, but it’s surely the simplest.

WHAT’S YOUR BACKUP PLAN?

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Maybe you have a living trust or perhaps don’t have children or pets that need guardians.

It’s still a good idea to have a backup will — a catch-all for any property that isn’t taken care of by a living trust or other estate-planning instrument.

3900 E. Mexico Ave • Denver, CO Wills • Trusts • Estate Planning Probate • Elder Law

Not everyone needs a will, but having one isn’t a bad idea. Your best bet is to consult with an attorney to determine (if any) what your end-of-life planning options should include.

Wills • Trusts • Marijuana Business

REMEMBER, IF YOU DON’T DECLARE YOUR FINAL WISHES, THE STATE WILL DO IT FOR YOU.

THE O’CONNELL LAW FIRM, PC 303-759-4000 • OConnellLegal.com 910 13th St, Ste 300 • Golden, CO Personal Injury • Estate Planning

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The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

outfrontonline.com/legal-directory | To advertise here, please call 303-477-4000.

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[1] this was good news // 10.12.94 [2] our advertisers had our back // 12.24.97 [3] so did Michelle // 04.24.87

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PREMIER ISSUE 04.02.1976

W

elcome to OUT FRONT! We hope this first issue will mark the beginning of a new era in quality journalism for all gay people of the Rocky Mountain Region.

Our hopes are high and ambition limitless in our attempt to bring Colorado a much-needed, quality journal for the gay community.

OUT FRONT will cater to the needs and desires of gays in this area and will provide an added dimension to the gay experience through feature articles, thought-provoking editorials, the latest news and exciting photography.

We will strive for for perfection, attempting to be different and CONT. ON PG 16

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[1] first-ever AIDS vigil mention // 06.05.87 [2] houseboy // 07.30.97 [3] Anita Bryant library, lol! the shade of it all // 11.28.80 [4] special edition // 03.22.13 [5] flashback in a flashback, so meta // 01.05.79

LET YOUR TRUE COLORS SHINE

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BOOK YOUR PRIDE SPONSORSHIP TODAY

YOU’VE GOT LESS THAN 93 DAYS TO SECURE YOUR 2016 OUT FRONT PRIDE SPONSORSHIP. IT’S NOT TOO LATE, BUT DON’T PUT IT OFF TOO LONG. marketing@outfrontonline.com | 303.477.4000 OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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[1] the Center’s humble beginnings // 04.15.77 [2] a whole page, gentlemen? you’re too kind // 11.20.87 [3] cheap rent in days gone by // 12.24.80

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CONT. FROM PG 12 better. We do not deal in trivia, gossip, rumor, or plagiarism. We only concern ourselves with the more important aspects of gay life, while not overlooking its humorous side. We view ourselves and other homosexuals as both gay people and members of a larger community, in that order. — excerpt, From The Editor by OUT FRONT Founder Phil Price

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[1] peep that whip! // 09.14.94 [2] cycle sluts on cycles in space // 06.20.01 [3] advertising placement oops! // 11.03.78 [4] baby Paula Poundstone // 02.23.00 [5] the original OkCupid // 07.17.87

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LESS THAN

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DAYS UNTIL GAY CHRISTMAS

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GET ALL THE BRAND EXPOSURE YOU NEED WITH A 2016 OUT FRONT PRIDE SPONSORSHIP. IT’S NOT TOO LATE, BUT DON’T PUT IT OFF TOO LONG. 303.477.4000 OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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[1] how were we ever able to choose?! // 08.03.94 [2] fresh out of the gate, our first issue’s cover // 04.02.76 [3] is this a date or a massage? // 07.20.94

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[1] a landmark cover // 07.15.15 [2] #FroBack #FirstFriday // 02.12.88

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PERSPECTIVES

Don Alderson I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, CHILDREN ARE A SEXUALLY transmitted disease. Think about it: People have unprotected sex, then the next thing they know, someone’s tested positive for the baby virus.

After that devastating news, for the next nine months this tiny little creature will grow inside your body, slowly feeding away on your insides. Then, when it’s reached its maximum growth, it’ll start clawing and fighting its way out. I view this process to be similar to that of those Aliens movies with Sigourney Weaver, where the hell-beast rips through you, leaving a bloody pool of carnage. Sounds terrible, right? It’s not over.

Once the creature has exited its host body, it’ll spend the next 18 years asking for money — I’m not even kidding. I know many people who’ve caught the baby virus and all they talk about is how much money it costs. Apparently in some states and countries, you are legally obligated to pay for housing this walking and breathing reminder of your unprotected coitus.

But fear not! Depending on your gender and sexual orientation, there is some good news. Men are only carriers of the baby virus — it’s women who show all the symptoms. Also, transmission of the baby virus is only possible when sex is had between a male and a female. Gay men and women are all safe from the virus. I like to think of this as a blessing from God Herself. I personally have three sisters and all of them are heterosexually challenged. Due to unprotected sex, they all have managed to become infected. My oldest sister got it twice. My middle sister and her husband intentionally caught the baby virus and my youngest sister caught a morphed version which lead to two creatures coming out of her at once!

Me: “I’d like to buy a vowel, Pat — U.”

Pat: “There’s one U, Don.” “Ok, I’d like to solve the puzzle: FUNK THAT!’” Besides the creature asking for money, there are other side effects of this particular plague. You’re tired. Like, all the time. I’ve seen my sisters and their husbands cope with the baby virus, and they always look exhausted. I would suggest they take a vacation, but the bags under their eyes are so big, the TSA would confuse them for unchecked luggage. Could you imagine?

“I’m sorry ma’am but you’re only allowed one carry on — oh, damn! That’s your face! My apologies.” Plus, they probably couldn’t afford a vacation due to their bank accounts being held hostage by their little breathing STD. They’ve actually given names to all their baby viruses too. Really cute names! I figure that’s a lot like how people call herpes a “cold sore” when it’s on your face, even though it’s totally herpes. It lessens the blow of embarrassment when forced to talk about it publicly. Know what I mean? On a few occasions I’ve heard my sisters say, “It’s hard, but it’s rewarding.” They even smile sometimes and almost appear happy. I guess we all find ways to cope with our choices. Obviously, denial is a popular option.

As a gay man, I just have to thank my lucky stars that the good Lord designed the system so that my fellow gays and I don’t have to live in fear of testing positive for the baby virus. On the other hand, being a parent to an STD could be fun — at least we get to decide when we’re ready to take that plunge. If I ever decide to become a dad, I want the bags under my eyes to be Gucci. Simply fabulous.

NOTE: The author means this as satire. Or so he says. (We think kids are actually awesome.)

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PHOTO // EMRAN KASSIM

KIDS ARE THE SCARIEST STD

I’ve seen my sisters and their husbands cope with the baby virus, and they always look exhausted.

I would suggest they take a vacation, but the bags under their eyes are so big, the TSA would confuse them for unchecked luggage.

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ON SET: COLORADO’S FILM LOCATIONS Carly Holbrook AS QUENTIN TARANTINO FANS ARE GEARING UP FOR HIS LATEST movie, Coloradans are even more thrilled to see their beautiful state showcased on the big screen. The new western was filmed near the stunning southwest Colorado town of Telluride. But, Hateful Eight isn’t the only big film to be shot in the state.

From comedies such as Christmas Vacation and Dumb and Dumber to old-fashioned westerns such as True Grit, there are several movies that have brought scenic Colorado to Hollywood.

HATEFUL EIGHT The stunning views of the San Juan Mountains from the box canyon in Telluride were just what Tarantino was looking for when scouting destinations for his new movie Hateful Eight, which is set to release in January 2016. Although the movie was filmed in the wilderness area, the fourteeners surrounding the town and the San Miguel River will all be seen throughout the film. The cast and crew appeared around town frequenting popular restaurants and bars, and even joined the locals in Telluride Elks Park for a ski burn as a ritual to bring snow.

DUMB AND DUMBER While Dumb and Dumber is sait to take place in Aspen, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels (Lloyd and Harry) actually headed to the town of Breckenridge and to the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park in 1994 to film the comedy. Grab a delicious whiskey at the Cascades Whiskey Bar at the Stanley where Lloyd was stood up by the girl of his dreams.

FURIOUS 7 Remember that wild scene in Furious 7 that has the cast falling out of a plane in cars onto a mountain? That mountain is located in Colorado. The scene was filmed on Pikes Peak (or “America’s Mountain”) in Colorado Springs and along Monarch Pass. Visitors can summit Pikes Pike by car, bike, or by the Pikes Peak Cog Railway.

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Travel local and see the places Hollywood traded its famous hills for the glory of the Rockies for backdrops.

MR. AND MRS. SMITH Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) are a husband and wife who find out they’re both assassins for opposing sides.

Learning this information leads to epic battles between the two of them, one being a chase scene that was filmed in Colorado’s beautiful Glenwood Canyon. This 12.5-mile-long canyon runs along Interstate-70 to Glenwood Springs. The canyon boasts beautiful scenery including the roaring Colorado River, 1300foot canyon walls, and a hike to Hanging Lake, a stunning waterfall and crystal-clear blue lake one mile up from the road.

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION Nobody can forget the scene in Christmas Vacation when Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) takes the family to get the Griswold family Christmas tree. While the movie is set in Illinois, the family is actually getting their tree in the Colorado mountain town of Breckenridge. In fact, all of the mountain scenes in the movie were filmed in Breckenridge and throughout Summit County.

TRUE GRIT In 1969, this western brought John Wayne, Kim Darby, and Glen Campbell to the stunning San Juan Mountains in southwest Colorado to film several scenes. The courtroom scenes were filmed at the Ouray County Courthouse in Ouray while other scenes in the movie were shot in Montrose, Gunnison, and Ridgeway. In Ridgeway, visitors can now eat at the True Grit Café, which was built in honor of the movie.

Colorado.com

Tickets on sale at www.milehighgala.com HRC COLORADO presents

THE 25TH ANNIVERSARY

SATURDAY April 23, 2016

Denver Marriott City Center | 1701 California Street MEET OUR HONOREES

Ted Trimpa

We are excited to honor Ted Trimpa with the Paul Hunter Award for his tireless work for social justice, equality, and visibility of the LGBTQ community and Reign Vela-Tapia with the Outstanding Youth Award for her incredible work towards LGBTQ equality at University of Colorado and beyond.

Reign Vela-Tapia

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LILY TOMLIN WEDDINGS • CELEBRATIONS • MEETINGS Golden Foothills, I-70/Genesee exit • 303-526-3105 www.MountVernonCC.com 25 MINUTES FROM DOWNTOWN DENVER

Saturday • April 23 Paramount Theater

Red Tie Affair is a fun-filled night of dinne dinner and comedy Colorado AIDS Project and Howard De Dental Center, with a special standup comedy per performance.

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WEB + C R E ATIV E

THE boys from Ipanema page 28 | ANGKOR what? Cambodia’s Ancient Mega-City page 30 | HUMANI-TOURISM rescuing critters in/out of Colorado page 32 | CAPE Town + down page 38 TIPS from the poop deck page 40 | PLUS much more

OPENHEARTED MAUI: the LGBTfriendly isle page 34

TRAVEL BOORISH ABROAD: TRAVELING CULTURAL FAUX PAS Yvonne Wright

WHO WOULD CUT IN FRONT OF A LINE of elderly people waiting to buy groceries? Me! That’s who. I saw them standing in the front of a grocery store and thought, “How nice. Czechs help older people go shopping.” In reality, they were waiting in line because, at the time, only five people were allowed in at once.

(This was during the Eastern Bloc years.)

Instead of waiting my turn, I walked right past them, past their wheelchairs and walkers, and started shopping like the “American pig” I apparently am. Needless to say, I was yelled at in a language I couldn’t begin to understand, then physically escorted out wondering the entire time, “What the hell did I do?”

Cultural faux pas happen all the time. It’s when we do something that offends another culture without realizing it. Sometimes we’re trying to be nice, but beware: In some countries, gestures like offering to shake someone’s hand (with the wrong hand) or giving them the thumbs-up sign can be terribly offensive. We need to pay attention to what we wear, how we act, even how we eat.

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It’s just one of the many cultural faux pas I’ve made in my life. I’ve been yelled at by a West Indian woman simply for boarding a bus. I didn’t realize it was my responsibility to say, “Good afternoon!” to everyone already on board. As a young reporter, it took me months to live down the time I insisted on being let into the locker room of a boxer.

I thought I was doing what every other female reporter was doing at the time — getting the same interviews as my male colleagues.

But, in a different culture, it appeared as if I was making a sexual gesture toward the boxer.

Siu King does not fit the stereotype of a nice, quiet, stay-at-home Chinese wife. Despite coming from a very traditional Chinese family, she’s well educated, works as a respiratory therapist in a leading Denver hospital, and even had her American fiancé sign an agreement giving her control of the family finances. Bubbling with enthusiasm, she is not afraid to speak her mind.

TOP 5 CULTURAL FAUX PAS Avoid public displays of affection (PDA): Many conservative countries look down on kissing, hand-holding, even hugging in public. If you don’t see locals doing it, don’t do it yourself. It’s actually illegal in some countries like China, India, Indonesia, and most countries in the Middle East.

Watch same-sex affection: Homosexuality is illegal in 79 countries, sometimes punishable by death. Unless you’re willing to go to jail or worse, research LGBT laws before traveling. There are no laws against same-sex unions in Europe, but some Eastern European countries have laws that discriminate.

Shake with right hand: In many cultures, it’s insulting to shake hands with the left hand. Always use your right hand in Asia, India, Africa, and the Middle East. For some this is because the left hand is used for bathroom tasks.

For others, it’s a cultural tradition that shows you hold no weapon.

Eating Etiquette: In the cultures mentioned above, eat with your right hand as well. In Asia, when not using your chopsticks, set them flat and parallel across your bowl or plate. Crossing

them or laying them uneven resembles incense used in funerals. Also, don’t tap them on your bowl. That’s what beggars do. A little food left on the plate will signal you are done eating.

In Italy, don’t order a cappuccino after breakfast. Many feel it upsets your stomach and won’t serve them later in the day. In Russia, never turn down vodka.

It’s a sign of friendship and trust.

In many parts of Europe, Central and South America, Africa, and the Caribbean, expect to eat dinner late and pace yourself — it’s a social gathering that usually lasts for hours.

Dress to Impress: In most countries, keep beachwear at the beach. Many locals in beach towns, especially people in the Caribbean, are offended by revealing clothes in public places. Cover up in places of worship, whether it’s a temple in Thailand or a church in Argentina. The Vatican makes a fortune selling disposable scarfs for women who come with bare shoulders. As a rule of thumb, you should cover your shoulders, midriff, and knees. Women should also cover their hair in Muslim mosques.

Photo / Adam Green

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She walks that thin line between being a modern American woman and respecting her family’s deeply held traditions. Before she could marry, she needed their approval. She says it took “six months to train my fiancé to meet the elders.” It’s all about respect.

Showing respect is a complex, intricately woven web that’s easy to fall into. For example, remove your shoes before entering a house.

When offered a drink, accept it with both hands to show gratitude. Never say “no” when offered something to eat or drink. “Women spend days cooking,” Siu says. “It’s how they show their love.” Be careful, she warns. “Some women will try to trick you by offering soy sauce or other seasonings.” Do not season your food as this sends a message that the person who prepared it isn’t a good cook.

Travis Ochs is a Denver attorney and world traveler. Following a stint prosecuting ivory smugglers in Hong Kong, Travis says he and a friend “decided to have a great adventure.”

Temporarily moving to Taiwan, they set out to find jobs. They signed a lease at the Palace on the Moon Love Hotel, made business cards with their new address, then began meeting potential employers. Travis says everything was going great until they left their new business cards. “We couldn’t understand why people were looking at us so weird.” Turns out everyone, except Travis and his friend, know that a “love hotel” is a “whore house.”

Cultural faux pas! Lesson learned!

When accidentally renting a room in a whore house, do not pass out business cards alerting potential employers to your living situation.

The easiest way to avoid cultural pitfalls is to do your research. Learn as much as you can about cultures and traditions before traveling or moving outside the US. Once there, pay attention to what the locals are doing and follow their lead.

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THE BOYS FROM IPANEMA Paul Bindel

WE STRUTTED DEFIANTLY from the Galería Café in the t-shirt/club-dress code of a Brazilian winter out into the well-lit, 3am streets of Ipanema. “We got kicked out of the most trash bar in the city,” M texted me the next day on WhatsApp. One minute, everything was great — boys from Argentina and Mexico, dancing, Smirnoff Ice aplenty, the occasional friendly kiss — and the next, we were escorted to pay and leave. R, we learned later, had been heckling Jean Wyllys, the second openly gay member of the Brazilian Parliament and a minor Carioca celebrity, badgering him for supporting the Worker’s Party. And Wyllys, apparently, just wanted to drink.

Now, as we turned corners and walked past parked cars, R was tipsily outlining the scandal of Brazilian politics, decrying Lula, Dilma, Wyllys, and other politicians for buying votes, breaking promises, selling out, and generally walking the well-worn path of inaction. I was thrilled! Not just because I was finally making sense of the corruption that people had protested all winter, but because I was also understanding this handsome man’s mix of English and Portuguese, and assumed we were drifting toward his apartment. I felt like I’d arrived.

Weeks before, when I’d asked my Denver friend K why she relocated to Rio de Janeiro, she claimed she was drawn to the feminine quality of the city: “There’s something about the ocean and the rolling hills and the culture that embraces the feminine, especially in contrast to São Paolo’s rigid streets and architecture.”

Similarly, on my first day on Ipanema Posto 9 — the queer section of curved beach slightly less famous for drugs than Posto 8 — my friend and host B gestured broadly at the hundreds of nicely filled sungas and muscular torsos: “Can’t you tell that everyone here is a bottom?” I couldn’t, but I felt no shame in appreciating the sights.

Carioca: A native of Rio de Janeiro.

Sungas: Portugese for “swimming trunks.”

Caipirinhas: Brazil’s national drink, made from sugar-cane hard liquor, sugar, and lime.

Whether or not Rio is essentially feminine or the power-bottom, it is one of this hemisphere’s centers for gay men. A 2008 survey of LGBT populations in Brazil’s 10 largest cities estimated — perhaps over generously — that gays represented 19.3 percent of the 6 million Cariocas. Rio is the hub of Brazil’s entertainment industry, and its body culture is unparalleled. Throw in stunning views and beaches, caipirinhas and churrasco, friendliness toward strangers, and multilevel nightclubs like The Week (which attracts more than 1000 men each night), and the queens come yaaaasing.

The Real, Brazil’s currency, had a rough year in 2015, so while an economic recession put pressure on many Brazilians, it’s probably one of the best exchange rates Americans can get. If you decide to travel to Rio, remember that summer here is winter there. Most tourists stay in the Zona Sul, famous for beaches and shopping, but with the Olympics on the western side of the city and an expanded subway system, you can expect new activity and resources in Barra da Tijuca.

To get around, you’ll need some basic Portuguese or an extremely cute face, and any work you put into language-learning will pay off in the relationships you’ll make.

You might even get kicked out of a bar.

Churrasco: A Portugese and Spanish term for grilled meats.

Barra da Tijuca: A neighborhood, or bairro, on the west end of Rio de Janeiro.

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ANGKOR WHAT? CAMBODIA’S ANCIENT MEGA-CITY Rick Kitzman

ALIGHTING IN THE MISTY MORN of a Cambodian sunrise, my friend Eric and I stared at the architectural masterpiece, Angkor Wat, me with the exhilaration of a childhood dream coming true. Are those five towers beehives ... pinecones?

“They’re lotus blossoms,” said our guide Kinal.

Serving as the holy capital of the Khmer Empire that flourished between the 9th and 15th centuries, the largest pre-industrial city in the world used far greater amounts of stone than all of the Egyptian pyramids combined and occupied a much greater area than modern-day Paris.

We spent a few days in Bangkok, a bizarre megalopolis — mucky, raucous, clogged — that’s the antithesis of Angkor, which is clean, contemplative, and eerily vacant, but it’s the fantastic gateway to modern-day Siem Reap and spectacular ruins.

HIGHLIGHTS?

Angkor Thom’s gargantuan face-towers, and the distinctive Khmer lion guardians.

The Elephant Terrace’s bas-reliefs of the sacred threetrunked beast, a five-headed horse, and a game of polo.

Banteay Srei’s miniature pink sandstone carvings of detailed mythology.

Ta Prohm, with its classic images of strangler figs and silk-cotton trees entwined among crumbling temples, and where Angelina Jolie (revered for her adoption) swung the vines in a Lara Croft film.

Phnom Kulen, an outpost with over 1000 etched carvings two inches below the river, their Hindu myths smoothed by centuries of water flow.

Read Ancient Angkor

by Michael Freeman and Claude Jacques, a superior guide to the park’s history and sites with tour

recommendations.

Spend extra money on business-class airfare.

Bring clothes made of wicking material. Prepare

Preah Ang Thom, a 16th-century Buddhist monastery with its 26-foot reclining Buddha Reaching Nirvana carved from a single boulder.

But Angkor Wat is the iconic jewel. The pyramid of three levels, crowned with a quincunx of five lotus blossom ogive towers, represents Mt. Kulen, holy birthplace of the Khmer Empire. When climbing the tallest — a challenging 70° angle — you figuratively ascend the Khmer’s Olympus. Angkor Wat is heavenly.

Serving earthly needs, the luxurious Raffles Grand Hotel d’Angkor — a restored plantation harking back to French colonial days — was our headquarters where Kinal picked us up. We patronized a café called Angkor What? and enjoyed zesty Cambodian cuisine. Artisans d’Angkor, a gift shop within the park, promotes the stunning wares of local artists. Haggling there is politely denied. US dollars are the primary currency; it would take an elephant to carry enough Cambodian riels (.00025 USD) to pay for dinner.

to sweat. A lot. (I gained a new appreciation for our Vietnam Vets.)

Hire a guide! Found among a queue outside

the airport, at beck and call, sweet and invaluable Kinal suggested times when absent tour busses allowed us almost solitary access to sites.

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Speaking of the holy Hindu pachyderm ... ride one in Angkor Park but (as a pedestrian), note the yellow elephant crossing signs, the charming graphic akin to Colorado’s moose warnings. And respect visiting pilgrims and Buddhist monks worshipping at the sites.

The legacy of crack-pot Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge genocide in the seventies — between 1.5 and 3 million people — pervades the culture. (Watch The Killing Fields for a dramatization.) At Phnom Kulen, signage warned of live mines. Amputees were common. Few middle-aged or elderly citizens mingled with the predominantly young population.

Bullet blasts pockmark many carvings of the ubiquitous apsaras, celestial Hindu and Buddhist nymphs, with a perpendicular foot lifted, elongated fingers bent back in an inconceivable curve, each unique and smiling sublimely.

Preserving the past, the government trains many orphans in the graceful movements of the apsaras and traditional folklore dancing. Our first night, we viewed a marvelous show al fresco at a local smorgasbord where we discovered Kinal could eat for free since he brought us there. Wherever we went, if a café was nearby, we bought a drink or snack to help Kinal.

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HUMANI-TOURISM RESCUING CRITTERS IN/OUT OF COLORADO Yvonne Wright

ZOZO SPENT HER ENTIRE LIFE in a shelter in Athens, Greece. Now, she’s an American.

It took the efforts of one incredibly determined woman; a 6,158 mile flight from Greece; a special passport; and a group of tourists — yes, tourists — to get her to Denver. Nearly a year later, this 7-year-old dog has a loving home in Colorado where many journeys like hers begin.

ZoZo is one of the thousands of animals (and people) helped by a Colorado-based company that offers tourists much, much more than a beach and a piña colada. Inside/Out Humanitourism Adventures is the brainchild of Zoe Katsulos. Travelers spend time volunteering for a number of projects, then get to experience some spectacular adventures.

This year alone, tourists are offered opportunities to help people and street animals recover from the earthquakes in Nepal, preserve and protect injured chimpanzees in Africa, monitor and improve nesting areas for endangered sea turtles in Greece, and upgrade shelters or spay and neuter dogs and cats in Mexico. “We rescue animals [with] special needs

It’s impossible to determine how many stray dogs and cats live in the United States. Estimates for cats alone range up to 70 million!

or in special circumstances with critical needs,” says Zoe. Then, she says, participants get to enjoy “some cool ecotourism experiences, like snorkeling [and] zip line canopy tours.”

For the more adventurous, there are opportunities to live and work side by side with people of the Maasai tribe in a tree-planting project at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro. In addition to planting Jatropha trees used for biofuel, you can participate in local rituals, ceremonies, and other cultural aspects of their lives. In Nepal, visitors have the opportunity to trek through the Himalayan mountains. That trip coincides with the five-day Tihar Hindu festival.

Cows, crows, dogs, and others are worshipped during the celebrations. Street dogs are often dressed in flower garlands with the sacred bright, red bindis (dots) placed on their foreheads. National Geographic, USA Today, and CNN are among those that have featured their trips.

Zoe is a nature photographer who’s been leading outdoor travel adventures in Colorado for years.

About eight years ago, she decided to take it international and created Inside/Out. “My favorite

Only one out of every 10 dogs born will find a permanent home.

Homeless animals outnumber homeless people 5 to 1.

About twice as many animals enter shelters as strays compared to the number of those that are relinquished by their owners.

parts,” she says, “are seeing the life changes for both the animals and the people who travel with us.” Jen Mazza, a regular Inside/ Out traveler, says the experiences are “absolutely amazing. It’s something you can’t put a price on.” Groups are small and numbers are limited so everyone can have what Zoe calls “authentic experiences and authentic connections with the people, the culture, and the land.”

Each trip has a set price, and some of that money goes directly to the international groups they work with. The organization also relies heavily on donations. Vets and vet techs are often sponsored to travel with them, like on their most recent trip to Manzanillo, Mexico where hundreds of dogs and cats were spayed and neutered. Once again, several special needs dogs were flown back to Denver. All were found injured and homeless, scavenging through the streets.

Today, they’re playing in the Colorado snow and getting ready to meet their new families.

I’m guessing this trip probably did involve a beach and some well-deserved piña coladas.

For more information about Inside/Out adventures or to donate you can go to Humanitourism.org.

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APRIL 06, 2016

OPENHEARTED MAUI: THE LGBTFRIENDLY ISLE Chad Chisholm

THERE HAVE BEEN A MILLION ARTICLES extolling the merits and magic of Maui, a picturesque island paradise in the Pacific. What makes this one any different? The island all but radiates the Spirit of Aloha, and the same feeling can be felt for its LGBT visitors. Although touristy, in this case that isn’t a bad thing. Fine dining, world-renowned art galleries, five-star hotels, and breathtaking nature are all found bundled in this blissful escape from the everyday. Take a peek at LGBTfriendly Maui.

With direct flights from Denver, Maui is a prime option for visiting the Hawaiian islands without having to “hop” on small commuter jets. Easy to navigate, the figureeight-shaped island contains five discernable tourist districts: beachside Wailea, mountainesque Upcountry, secluded Hana, cheerful Lahaina, and breezy Kapalua. Of course there are other areas on the island, but these are a good start to dip your toe in the Maui experience.

I’ve never heard of LGBT travelers being treated any differently than our straight counterparts; Hawaiian culture has an open and welcoming broadmindedness, especially on Maui. Gay and lesbian couples are greeted with the same welcoming arms. While there’s no gay district or gay bars on the island, a hospitable atmosphere is found throughout the major tourism areas.

WHERE TO STAY AND PLAY Wailea

Andaz Wailea is a contemporary beachside resort with tiered infinity pools overlooking the ocean, a relaxing spa environment, and culinary options for every taste. Superluxe Morimoto’s restaurant offers incredible cuisine inspired by the sea itself whereas The

[L] Kapalua Wine and Food Festival / Chad Chisholm // [TOP] Molokini off the shores of Maui / Hawaii Tourism Authority/Tor Johnson // [R] Sunset Pool / Montage Kapalua

Ka’Ana Kitchen is a more familystyle, relaxed atmosphere with exceptional fare as well. The many lounge areas, pools, and beachside activities are perfect to enjoy in Wailea, centralized to shopping, ocean experiences, and fine dining alike. Complimentary shuttles take guests between the various resorts, making for a wonderful, varied resort experience.

Kapalua For something completely different, Montage Kapalua is on the more windward western side of the island. The large units within the condominium resort are spacious and light with a more private feel. From the plush accommodations to the large spa setting where you feel as if you have the entire place to yourself, Montage is where even the locals purchase space to “get away.”

The main lobby is in the style of a traditional Hawaiian canoe house, with Cane and Canoe Restaurant a perfect setting to have a meal underneath the stars. For a special event, the exclusive Cliff House overlooking the lagoon below is an impressive setting for private celebration. Guests can enjoy the OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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APRIL 06, 2016

adults-only Beach Club infinity pool and lounge area, steps from the beach and a relaxing experience with personalized service and their own bar.

Seeking adventure? There is plenty to do on this island, from the numerous watersports and ocean activities, to zip lining through the eucalyptus forests and scenic drives around Maui. One such notable drive is the Hana Highway. A few insider tips: Start early to avoid heavy traffic. I enjoy taking the road all the way around the island, from the north clockwise back towards Wailea side where a local winery is found. Stopping for waterfall photo ops, the bamboo forest hike at the Seven Sacred Pools park, and sampling treats along the way such as banana bread and fresh fruit, the Hana Highway has a treasure trove of experiences. Before reaching Hana, stop at the Hana Farms banana bread stand — the chocolate-chip banana bread and coconut candy is some of the best on the island.

Travaasa Hana is a private luxury resort stay that’s perfect for either lunch or a few nights of secluded indulgence.

Fresh seafood is a must while on Maui.

Mama’s Fish House is legendary and for good reason — the cuisine and cocktails are only topped by the atmosphere and scenery. Make sure to have a sunset reservation to take in the northern shore’s crashing waves on their private beach before settling in to dinner.

If on the Kapalua side, Merriman’s is another distinguished establishment with stunning views off their oceanfront patio, locally inspired fare, and friendly service leaving guests grinning ear-to-ear from dinner. A cookbook is also available for purchase at any of the Hawaiian Merriman’s and Monkeypod Kitchen outlets.

One of the best things about Maui is exploring it yourself and finding those magical places to create memories. From the gently lapping waves of Wailea to the crashing surf on the north shore, or the craggy mountain peaks of Haleakala to the lush rainforests on the Hana Highway, the Valley Isle welcomes visitors to experience Hawaii in an enchanted fashion.

[TOP] Celebration of the Arts at Ritz-Carlton Kapalua as Hula dancers put on a dazzling show as part of the epic luau on property // Chad Chisholm

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APRIL 06, 2016

CAPE TOWN AND DOWN ( ... TO GO BACK) Miles Griffis

DURING MY SIX-MONTH STAY in Cape Town, South Africa, I escaped from two potential muggings, used mace to avoid a cab kidnapping, and heard stories from two women on my program who were both dragged off the street and into vans by a group of men, their friends narrowly rescuing them, while locals on the street spectated and didn’t move a muscle.

Cape Town was not the trite study abroad experience of Europe.

Though the city structurally looks like western cities with wide streets, a loose grid layout, and lovely, but heavily secured neighborhoods, you can never let your guard down.

But do not misunderstand me: These events are not reasons to take Cape Town off your bucket list; they’re mere reminders to take care and be aware. Cape Town and its surrounding areas are arresting.

There is so much to fill your heart.

Like many Coloradans, I’m a man of the outdoors. This is what pulled me to Cape Town. I went kloofing (canyoneering), shark-cage diving, horseback riding, surfing, swimming, camping, and of course, hiking.

Cape Town is home to the largest costume party in South Africa, the Mother City Queer Project, which also happens to be one of the biggest LGBT events on the African continent.

Table Mountain, a stunning 3000-foot mountain behind the city, dominates the skyline. The national park contains hundreds of trail miles, a cable car to the summit, reservoirs, and fynbos and baboons. The mountain has every type of challenge from the easy, class-one walkup of Platteklip Gorge (comparable to the Colorado Springs incline), to the India Venster trail, a class-three scramble comparable to a tricky fourteener summit. I was truly impressed with the variation of trails just on this single mountain. At the summit, you can see the white caps on the fierce blue of the southern Atlantic Ocean.

From up high, you can see Camp’s Bay beach, the widest and most visually dramatic with the Twelve Apostles, a jagged ridgeline of Table Mountain, in the background.

Be warned! The Atlantic is frigid all year long. For warmer waters, head 20 minutes outside the city to Muizenberg and learn to surf on the easy rollers of False Bay. If you’re looking to meet other queer locals, put on your speedo and head to Clifton 3rd beach. The beach is busiest in

South Africa has 11 official languages, though most people can speak English. Afrikaans and Xhosa (the clicking language that Daily Show Host Trevor Noah is fluent in) are also widely

spoken in Cape Town and the Western Cape.

Cape Town is twinned with London, Buenos Aires, Nice, San Francisco, and several other international cities.

Cape Town is sometimes called the “Tavern of the Seas,” perhaps because it served as a supply station for the Dutch East Indies Company.

(Glug glug.)

[L] Photo / Luca Galuzzi // [R] Twelve Apostles / Photo / Thea Sitjtsma

December and January when Cape Town becomes a queer tourist destination hot spot. In December, they host one of Cape Town’s biggest celebrations called the Mother City Queer Project. Think of the Sydney Mardi Gras Festival condensed into one day.

Unfortunately, I arrived in late January and just missed this high tide. And so, I found Cape Town, a city of three million to be a rather tame gay destination. Although it’s billed as “Africa’s Gayest City,” there’s still a great deal of homophobia and internal homophobia.

Compared to America, I found very few young South Africans to be out. The city has only a small quarter of gay business containing three bars and one restaurant.

Even though gay marriage has been legal in South Africa since their new Constitution in 1992, the country is still exceptionally close-minded among certain communities. When I would walk around, holding hands

with my Cape Tonian fling, we would be yelled at, harassed, and ogled.

When I think of Cape Town, I think of the gorgeous times I spent on sunrise hikes above the city and dancing to South African House music. I think of the fantastic food. Everything tastes better in Cape Town, one of the world’s food capitals.

They have a wide assortment of craft brews that’d keep any Coloradan happy, world-class wine, and fresh weekly markets.

I have blocked out the bad.

Cape Town is not as simple and homogenous as Denver. There are serious problems and real trouble everyday in the city, but there are incredible people and stories to be found within the hustle and struggle.

If you go, carry small amounts of cash, leave your phone in your hotel room, plan your routes, never be alone, use Uber, and talk to as many South Africans as you can about their country.

They all want to tell you about their complex nation.

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Truthfully, you should be washing your hands regularly regardless of whether you’re on a ship or on land (or on vacation for that matter).

Even if you fancy yourself a “dirty” guy or gal, proper hygiene doesn’t need to take a vacation too. If you want, you can also use alcoholbased hand sanitizer too, but it still needs to be used along with proper hand washing.

TIPS FROM THE POOP DECK Stephen M. Small, PharmD

BEING SICK IS NO FUN when you’re at home. It’s even worse when you’re ill on your gay-cation — especially on a crowded Caribbean cruise. Let’s face it: It’s hard to hit on the towel boy when you have explosive diarrhea and you’re trying not to barf into your mai tai.

Our community is extremely fond of traveling. Almost a third of LGBT men and women took five or more trips in a 12-month timeframe according to a 2014 report by Community Marketing and Insights, Inc. Sadly, the fact is that outbreaks of gastrointestinal illnesses also occur in 3–6 out of every 1000 cruise voyages. A recent study in January found that this rate equates to about 15–27 cruise outbreaks per year, and one virus in particular was found to be the cause of over 90 percent of them. The culprit? Norovirus.

Norovirus does an excellent job of making of us sick, and it packs a punch.

It can successfully infect you with less than 100 virus particles, incubating in your sunscreen-slathered body for up to 48 hours before causing gastroenteritis — a fancy medical term for having diarrhea, vomiting, lethargy, and other unpleasant gastrointestinal symptoms. And this isn’t just your run-of-the-mill diarrhea and vomiting. We’re talking projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea, the kind that occurs when you least expect it, leading to an embarrassing (and messy) scene on deck.

These effects can generally last for a miserable 24–72 hours. Patients typically run into problems when they start to lose so much fluid from their vomiting and diarrhea that they become dehydrated. If left untreated, they eventually need to find medical care where they may need to get IV fluids.

Norovirus and other pathogens can turn your voyage plans upside down, creating a gayer and more nauseating version of The Poseidon Adventure. But how can we avoid getting sick?

Norovirus enters your body through your mouth, and it typically hitches a ride in vomit and feces. Therefore, these fluids need to find a way into your mouth, typically by clinging to your hands. As such, it is important to wash your hands with soap and water whenever you use the restroom or before you eat so that you can clean off any norovirus that may have found its way onto your mitts.

Since there are many public surfaces on cruise ships, it would also be wise to simply wash your hands before you ever touch your face or mouth.

If you end up becoming sick, it’s important to avoid spreading your illness to others. This means washing your hands frequently just as described above. It’s also a good idea to disinfect surfaces that could’ve been contaminated, such as bathroom fixtures and doorknobs.

Believe it or not, these tips actually apply to all pathogens that cause gastroenteritis, not just norovirus.

If you are indeed sick, it would be worth contacting your ship’s medical office, as they may be able to suggest or prescribe some anti-diarrhea medications or other drugs that can help prevent you from getting dehydrated. Most importantly, you can remain hydrated by drinking plenty of fluids with electrolytes, such as sports drinks. And no, piña coladas and daiquiris don’t count as rehydration fluids.

The fact that norovirus can be transmitted through feces brings up a touchy subject. Rimming (or analingus) has actually contributed to outbreaks of foodborne illnesses in the LGBT community, transmitting pathogens via the fecal-oral route. Such infections can include bacteria like Salmonella and Shigella, viruses like Hepatitis A, and even parasites such as Giardia.

Since norovirus can be transmitted through the fecal-oral route too, it is reasonable to assume that it can also spread this way.

To avoid transmission during your naughty nautical exploits, you should refrain from oral-anal contact if your partner is currently

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having diarrhea. Since diarrhea is a very unsexy malady in itself, this avoidance may not be difficult to accomplish. Still, it’s also a good idea to forego analingus for some time afterward since your partner could still have norovirus in their feces for up to two weeks after their symptoms go away. You can also try barrier devices like dental dams to reduce infection risk.

Believe me, dodging intimacy or using dental dams on a romantic cruise may not be the most attractive option — but hey, there’s always shuffleboard to occupy your time.

Norovirus and other pathogens that cause gastroenteritis can wreak havoc on your cruise, but the tips outlined above can help prevent your trip from becoming a maritime disaster. If you have questions, it’s always a good idea to talk to your doctor or pharmacist to learn more about what you can do to prevent getting and spreading disease.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also has excellent resources regarding norovirus and other pathogens on their website for your perusal. With those tools in mind, you will be able sit back, relax, and enjoy your glorious, diarrhea-free gay-cation.

TAKING FLIGHT + PACKING YOUR MEDS RIGHT Most of us are pretty accustomed to the TSA’s laundry list of rules for airline baggage security, but what about your medications? Here is some info and tips to make sure your medications make it through your flight safe and sound. »» Your meds are important.

Since checked bags get lost all the time, store your meds in your carry-on luggage.

Depending on your regimen, you may also need a dose during the flight. »» Although not required, I recommend keeping all prescription labels with your medications. I find random, unmarked medications in any setting to be somewhat sketchy. »» Whether it’s over-the-counter or prescription, you’re allowed to bring any of your medications onto a plane.

»» Relax about the 3-1-1 rule.

Liquid and semi-solid medications generally do not apply to this rule. »» Let security personnel know if you have any non-solid medications (liquids, ointments, gels, foams, inhalers, you name it) before you’re screened. Otherwise, you may cause a scene at the x-ray machine. »» There is no actual limit on how much medication you can bring onto your flight. However, you should really only bring enough medication to last the duration of your trip. »» Store all your medications in a single baggie, away from your other carry-on liquids so that security personnel can easily inspect them »» Refrigerated medications, like insulin, are allowed to be packed in your luggage with solid ice packs. Strangely, the packs must still conform to the 3-1-1 rule if they are starting to melt.

NOH8 AT THE CENTER The NOH8 campaign and photographer Adam Bouska returned to Denver on March 6th to help support the family programs at the GLBT Community Center of Colorado with an open-photo shoot. Funds raised by the NOH8 Campaign will be used to continue promoting and raising awareness for marriage equality, anti-discrimination, and anti-bullying.

Photos by Charles Broshous

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LET’S MANEUVER VANCOUVER ISLAND Yvonne Wright

WHEN IT COMES TO its people and its land, diversity is the first word that comes to mind when you explore Vancouver Island. Whether you’re looking for a proper English Tea, a hike through the jungle, or a day of snowboarding, VI in Canada’s British Columbia offers it all.

Just north of Washington state, you’ll find generations that stem from native peoples — British, Irish, Scottish, Asian, and even American draft dodgers — each offering a unique and colorful drop to what is now one of Canada’s most eclectic islands. It’s both classic and kitschy.

Packed into this relatively small island is an intricate and varied ecosystem. There are mountains and rivers, majestic old-growth forests and rugged coastlines, cold-water fish and Mediterranean crops like lemons and olives, and of course English roses, thousands of them.

Stepping off the ferry into the capital of Victoria is like walking onto the set of Downton Abbey. Cobblestone streets, British museums, red double-decker buses, and Parliament buildings line Victoria’s inner harbor. At the center of it all: The Empress Hotel. A visit to Victoria is not complete until you’ve had high tea inside the resort’s castle walls.

This is the real deal. Finger foods (cucumber sandwich, anyone?), British scones, and delicate mini-desserts are served on multi-tiered sterling silver trays. There is no rush here. The resort suggests at least an hour to enjoy the ritual. Sitting in one of the chintz-covered wingback chairs, sipping tea from the William Edwards china, while listening to live piano is a tradition that goes back nearly a century. You can breathe history here.

Butchart Gardens provides another walk into the past. As early as the 1920s, people began visiting the 135 acres of internationally famed trees, flowers, statues, ponds, waterfalls, and other features.

Japanese, Italian, Canadian, American, and British landscapes combine into an explosion of color and fragrance. Nearby Butterfly Gardens

Vancouver’s West End neighborhood has the largest gay community in the west.

Angeles in TV production and third in North America for feature film production.

Vancouver (aka Hollywood North) is a haven for celebs, as it’s second only to Los

In 1886, most of the newly incorporated city was burnt to the ground by the Great Vancouver

Fire. While it was originally started to clear land near Main Street, the blazes destroyed all but a few structures.

At a staggering 1001 acres, Stanley Park — an urban oasis — is 10

percent larger than New York City’s Central Park.

Famous people from Vancouver include Bryan Adams, Pamela Anderson, Michael Buble, Michael J. Fox, Sarah McLachlan, and Jason Priestley.

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provide thousands of rare, tropical butterflies and birds, flamingos, turtles, giant koi, and even poisonous frogs.

Now for the kitschy! The island’s Madame Tussauds Wax Museum is a trip back in time, through a trip back in time. Built in 1961, centuries are filtered through the lens of the 60s and 70s. The 16th century fashions of King Henry VIII’s wives appear to be made by Gunne Sax. Don’t expect to stand in wonder at the life-like images; this is a (rather cheesy) collection that includes everything from Royalty Row to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Its website says it’s in the process

of moving. Let’s hope it doesn’t change a thing.

There’s a blink-or-you’ll miss-it Chinatown. Don Mee’s is a Vancouver Island tradition that proudly displays autographed pictures of such “dignitaries” as Tracey Gold and Meg Tilly.

On a serious note, if you like dim sum, this is your place!

You can sit for hours as they roll out trolley after trolley full of little a la carte treasures.

While several bars offer LGBT events, The Paparazzi Nightclub is the only establishment that calls itself an “Alternative and GLBT club.” Here you’ll find a mix of the local, laid-back community drinking beer

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while the over-the-top fabulous are toasting champagne — an interesting mix of patchouli and glitter.

The island’s Pacific Temperate Rainforests are literally tropical jungles channeling west-coast style.

They have the highest biomass per acre of any ecosystem on earth.

That means there are more living organisms packed into this area than anywhere else in the world. The trees are some of the highest recorded.

They are wrapped in bright green moss and vines. Tropical flowers, giant ferns, and tide pools are everywhere. Not to mention black bears and jumping whales.

Vancouver Island is among the best Canada has to offer. Just three hours by ferry from Seattle, it’s what happens when abundant natural resources are shaped and molded by the many different hands that have called this island home.

Movies filmed in the Vancouver Island region: X-Men: The Last Stand & X2 (Halle Berry, Hugh Jackman, Famke Janssen, Ian Mckellen, and Patrick Stewart); X Files (David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson); The Scarlet Letter (Robert Duvall, Demi Moore, Gary Oldman); Seven Years in Tibet (Brad Pitt); and Little Women (Kirsten Dunst, Winona Ryder).

Oceanside’s Brant Festival in April, the Tofino Shorebird Festival in May, and the Eagle Extravaganza in Goldstream Provincial Park near Victoria.

Wildlife is the focus of many annual events in the region, such as the Pacific Rim Whale Festival in March,

The Island is now known as one of the best Caving areas in the world with over 1050 known caves.

Hornby Island and Nootka Sound are two of the few places in the world where scuba divers can view primitive six-gill sharks, a common species of deep water shark.

MR. LEATHER COLORADO IML FUNDRAISER The House of DeHerrera and Miss CGRA 2016 Yolanda DeHerrera hosted a fundraiser for Mr. Leather Colorado 2016, Ric Poston at the Eagle on March 12th. Poston, who won the leather title earlier this year is hoping to represent Colorado at the 2016 International Mister Leather Competition which will be held in Chicago over the Memorial Day Weekend.

Approximately $2000 is needed for airfare and the hotel. Visit Poston’s Go Fund Me page at GoFundMe.com/ddtndpwc if you’d like to help.

Photos by Charles Broshous

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UNSAFE TRAVELS: UNDERSTANDING TOURISM AND STDS Stephen M. Small, PharmD

GOING ON VACATION ALLOWS for amazing opportunities to broaden our horizons and learn about the world. It also provides many chances to hook up.

Statistics vary widely, but they show that up to 50 percent of travelers report casual sex with a new partner during their journeys. After all, vacations foster spontaneity and can be quite romantic, but the last souvenir you would want to bring home is a sexually transmitted disease.

In a 2005 survey by Whittier and colleagues at a gay resort, men who have sex with men (MSM) were 11 times more likely to have unprotected sex with casual partners compared to when they are at home. A 2012 survey by Benotsch and colleagues also found that 17 percent of MSM had sex with a new partner while on vacation, of which 38 percent did not find out their new lover’s HIV status.

Essentially, we are great at finding new partners on vacation, but we aren’t the best at protecting ourselves and one another from sexually transmitted infections during our journeys.

Vacations are a fantastic time to meet new people and potentially find romance. However, it’s always essential to think about your health when you’re out and about in the world. After all, tourism plays an important role in the history of HIV. At the start of the epidemic, Haitians were considered one of the four high-risk

groups — colloquially termed the “4 Hs” — that also included homosexuals, heroin/IV drug abusers, and hemophiliacs. Haitians turned out to be at risk due to the country’s sex tourism industry during the year surrounding the outbreak.

Thankfully, the ways to protect ourselves are the same as we’ve always heard.

Condoms can substantially reduce a traveler’s risk of infection when they are used consistently and properly, and studies have found that tourists are more likely to have protected sex if they simply remember to pack condoms. To my knowledge, condoms are probably the one thing that the TSA does not restrict in your luggage, so bring as many as you want!

Alcohol and drug use also increase one’s chance of having unprotected sex while on vacation. It’s unrealistic to recommend that everybody avoid illicit drugs and abstain from the obligatory margarita while on their trip. However, I must say as a healthcare professional that it’s important to know your limits and consider moderation. After all, what’s the point of going on vacation if you’re so blasted you can’t remember it?

In addition to condoms, PrEP can also play an important role in preventing HIV infection during your trip. When used appropriately, this therapy could reduce your risk of HIV transmission by over

90 percent. Consider talking to your physician well in advance of your departure to determine whether you need a PrEP prescription.

Lastly, the spur-of-the-moment and fleeting nature of a vacation can make it difficult to get to know a new and casual sex partner. That impulsivity is sort of its whole appeal.

Photo / Felix Plakolb

However, the research above shows that many guys don’t exactly talk about the important stuff before going to the next step. Asking about one another’s HIV status may seem to take the “casual” out of a casual sexual encounter, but it certainly can help you make an educated decision regarding protection.

And I’m quite confident that such a simple and easy question won’t really take the “lust” out of your wanderlust.

Vacations can be far and few between, so enjoying yourself should be one of your top priorities. However, your health shouldn’t necessarily take a break too. If you’re lucky, you may get the chance to meet someone for a fling or perhaps something more serious. With the thoughts and tips above, both of you can make memories together while preventing a different (and much less relaxing) kind of trip: to the doctor’s office.

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SAN FRANCISCO’S CASTRO: STILL AN LGBT MECCA AFTER ALL THESE YEARS David-Elijah Nahmod

FOR MORE THAN FOUR DECADES, San Francisco has been LGBT mecca. The city was home to Jose Sarria (1923–2013) who, in 1961, became the first openly gay candidate to run for the Board of Supervisors. Though Sarria didn’t win, he garnered more votes than anyone expected. It was Harvey Milk (1930–1978) who won a seat on the Board in 1978 —the first out gay man to hold elective office in US history.

But before Sarria and Milk, there were The Daughters of Bilitis. Founded in San Francisco way back in 1955, DoB was the country’s first lesbian political action organization. In 2004, co-founders Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon became the first same-sex couple to be married at San Francisco City Hall.

LGBT history abounds in San Francisco, and the city’s Castro District stands as a testament to past generations.

Stop off at 575 Castro, where Harvey Milk operated his camera store, and his political campaigns. Today a portrait of Harvey graces the front of the building’s upper floor.

A number of LGBT-owned businesses line both sides of the street, such as Whatever Comics at 548 Castro. Owned

by Rich and Cougar, a gay couple who love to “geek out” on comic book fandom, Whatever is a well-stocked shop filled with new releases, merchandise, and independently published LGBT comic books — the guys often devote shelf space to local queer comic book creators.

A visit to the Castro Theater (429 Castro) is essential.

This beautiful movie palace first opened in 1922 and remains a single-screen theater today. The eclectic programming includes new LGBT cinema, classic Hollywood screenings, film festivals (including the Frameline LGBT Film Fest), and live shows. The Castro is a throwback to those bygone days when going to the movies meant visiting an elegantly appointed

showplace — the Castro decor is indeed akin to that of a 19th-century mansion.

As you walk up and down Castro Street, you can’t help but notice The Rainbow Honor Walk. These are bronze plaques built into the sidewalk that honor the lives of LGBT legends. Ever hear of Christine Jorgensen, (1926– 1989), the first American to undergo sex reassignment surgery? How about writers Oscar Wilde (1854–1900) and Gertrude Stein (1874–1946)? They, and many others, are memorialized in the Rainbow Honor Walk.

You might even bump into Cleve Jones as you peruse the neighborhood. Founder of the Names Project (The AIDS Memorial Quilt) and a close friend of Harvey Milk, Jones calls the Castro Home and can often be seen strolling around the neighborhood. Jones is a longtime HIV survivor, which serves as a reminder that Coming Home Hospice, the first hospice to serve terminally ill AIDS patients, is also in the Castro. The area was ground zero for the battle against AIDS during the plague’s peak years — Coming Home Hospice continues to give the dying a place where they can transition with dignity.

There’s so much to see all over San Francisco — you don’t want to visit the city without stopping off in the Haight, the former hippie enclave where the 1967 “Summer of Love” spawned a social revolution. There’s also The Tenderloin, a somewhat run-down area where many transgender people have been able to find community since the 1960s.

But for the LGBT traveler — and our history — San Francisco begins and ends in the Castro.

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BUENOS AIRES: THE PARIS OF SOUTH AMERICA Mike Yost

I MET MATIAS AND PATRICIA when I worked as hotel night auditor to put myself through college. They were both from Argentina with a passion for food, friendship, and football — DON’T call it soccer. They also both possessed a wonderfully irreverent sense of humor, so we became friends rather quickly.

Years later, I had the opportunity to fly to Argentina with a friend for cheap (I’m a writer, after all), and both Matias and Patricia welcomed us with warmth into their home country, taking us on a personal tour of their beloved Buenos Aires.

One of the first cultural differences I noticed was a strong sense of community, especially around dinner. They took us to Bar El Federal, originally established in 1864. As I walked through the front doors past a set of old cash registers, I felt saturated in history. Those walls were witnesses to the laughter and struggles of local Argentinians now long forgotten.

We didn’t order individual plates, but rather bountiful servings of picadas (meats, cheeses, and fruits) which were served on large cutting boards and placed in the center of the table to be shared by everyone.

Dinner was sometimes followed by mate (pronounced mah-tay), a hot drink of soaked yerba mate leaves and sugar served in a single gourd with a metal straw that’s passed around the dinner table, also to be shared by everyone. And while in Bueno Aires, I consumed perhaps the most heavenly empanadas I’ve ever consumed (or ever will consume) in my lifetime.

Matias also took us to the Cementerio de la Recoleta, sometimes referred to as the labyrinthine city of the dead. It became Bueno Aires’ first public cemetery in 1844 and is the final resting place for numerous iconic Argentinians including perhaps the most famous, Eva Perón. Exploring the cemetery was indeed a bit like navigating an eerie labyrinth, as many of the over 6000+ crypts, statues, and sarcophagi loomed high overhead, creating narrow canyons of stone and metal that silently reminded me I wasn’t too far behind in being placed in my own crypt.

Next to the cemetery was La Biela Café, where one of my favorite authors, Jorge Luis Borges, penned some of his iconic and mind-bending short

The picadas Mike speaks of a selection of finger foods, or hors d’oeuvres, that people nibble on at a party or a restaurant.

Often, they end up comprising an entire dinner.

Bueno Aires was the first Latin American city to grant civil unions to gay couples in 2003.

The distinct pink hue of the Pink House building comes from a mixture of lime, ox fat, and ox blood used at the time as a coating to waterproof buildings.

Sarcophagi are stone coffins typically adorned with a sculpture or inscription and associated with the ancient civilizations of Egypt, Rome, and Greece.

La Cementerio de la Recoleta contains 4,691 vaults, all above ground.

stories. (Seriously. You want to enjoy a good fornication of the mind, read The Garden of Forking Paths.)

While America has the White House as the seat of our executive branch, Argentina has the Pink House. Matias took us to La Casa Rosada, located in the famous Plaza de Mayo where the city itself was founded in 1580. And it’s from the iconic balcony of Casa Rosada that Eva Perón famously addressed Argentinians in the plaza, the scene recreated and shot at the same location for the 1996 film Evita.

I’ve never felt more welcome in such a large city. I plan on returning one day, and not just because there’s so much more to experience.

Matias’ and Patricia’s passion for food and friendship was contagious and intoxicating, reflective of Argentina’s fervor for living life.

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MAKING A MOTION FOR SICKNESS Kelsey Lindsey

SOMETIMES YOUR BODY CAN BE a little bitch. Nothing reminds me of this more than when I’m in a car, telling myself to GET MY SHIT TOGETHER as I experience extreme carsickness, reducing me to a blubbering wimp that moans at every bump and sharp turn.

Carsickness — any kind of motion sickness, really — comes from a mismatch between senses. When you’re in the backseat of a car or on the deck of a ship, your eyes might be focused on something fixed, say a map or a cute guy sunbathing, while your inner ear is telling your brain that you’re moving. When these two things don’t match up (your inner ear detecting movement and what you’re seeing IRL), your body goes into total freak out mode, its natural way of telling you something isn’t right.

This warning system comes in a wave of annoying and sometime debilitating symptoms, including cold sweats, difficulty breathing, a racing heart, and (everyone’s favorite) nausea. Some people have been found to be more prone to motion sickness, including people with an inner ear problem, poor vision, and even diabetes due to numbness in the feet that makes it difficult to feel when they’re moving.

While there’s no therapy to completely rid yourself of motion sickness altogether, there are some ways to treat the symptoms and help you feel better faster.

First, if you’re in a car, try to look out at the horizon or a fixed object in the distance. Having a sense of the vehicle you’re in and when it’s stopping and accelerating will help you align what you’re seeing with what your inner ear is feeling.

Sitting in the front seat and watching the driver brake — or even better, driving the car yourself — can help.

Avoid reading or watching videos at all costs, as this will further confuse the senses, and roll the window down or crank the air conditioning if you are getting the sweats.

Like positioning yourself in the front seat of a car, requesting a cabin in a ship near the middle or front near the water level can help reduce the amount of movement you experience, quieting symptoms.

A seat over the front edge of the wing of a plane and near the front of a train can also help you avoid motion sickness.

While there’s no therapy to completely rid yourself of motion sickness altogether, there are some ways to treat the symptoms and help you feel better faster.

If all else fails, there’s always drugs. A Dramamine patch, antihistamine, and antimuscarinic drugs can help you deal with the nausea as well, although these are only treating the symptoms, not the motion sickness itself.

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CONVALESCING IN THE CARPATHIANS Mariya Foxter

LET’S SAY THAT THIS SUMMER, you’re craving a trip that’s a little … stranger than usual, but something that let’s you come back refreshed. I’ve got just the thing.

What you’re gonna want to do is explore the Ukrainian side of the Carpathian Mountains, or Karpati as the locals call them. Karpati are known for numerous sanatoriums thrown across its long mountain range. A sanatorium is a sort of medical resort, usually located in a picturesque location and always next to thermal springs. They’re insanely popular in Europe, the most famous one being Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic.

If you find yourself frequently perusing Russian literature, you’ll notice many duchesses and dames and particularly melancholic blue-blooded gents vacationing near these thermal springs to cure their eternal ennui.

The most important thing to pack while vacationing in Karpati is of course your mineral water sipping cup. You thought you were done with them as a toddler but if you omit the sippy cup from your convalescing in the mountains, the sulfur-infused mineral water will corrode your teeth. So, better pack one of these beauties. The point of these is to put the mouthpiece past your teeth, so water flows freely into your esophagus, leaving your pearlies be. Of course, you could opt out and get a Camelbak, but Americans are already mocked overseas, so why push your luck?

No planes fly directly to Karpati, so you’re likely arriving by a long-distance train from the nearby Lviv. At this point, you are the personification of angst, but instead of hitting the hay or enjoying

sycamore-covered hills, you’re prompted to the doctor’s office. If you don’t have a readily available list of everything that’s wrong with you, they’ll make one for you. After a rigorous strip down, you find out about your minor scoliosis, impending arthritis, and the too-well-known indigestion issues. Good news is, mineral water can fix it all! Bad news is, mineral water can fix it all if you submit to several hours of daily procedures and eat exclusively unsalted, mild, broiled, baked, and steamed produce only. You’ve survived public school food — how bad can it really be?

The sanatorium has no pretenses about it; it’s already an established part of the Ukrainian psyche so the administration doesn’t bother with marketing. The place is perfectly utilitarian.

Your room has one bed with one rock mattress, one nightstand, one reading lamp, one table, one chair, and one closet. You wake up at 7am every day because breakfast ends at 9am, which also happens to be when your first procedure starts.

It’s the usual: peloid wraps, some jacuzzi, some

massages, some extracorporeal shockwave lithotripsy for those kidney stones. By 2pm, you’ve already eaten lunch and are on your way to the springs. The springs are strategically located about half an hour away from the sanatorium to force you to walk after eating, see the beauty of Karpati, and pay special attention to the local vendors lined up outside of their villages. You don’t mind them. You buy lots of chachkies for the family and woodland strawberries for yourself.

The thermal springs are beautiful and are located at the center of the spa town. You learn that folks with ulcers drink cold water and the rest drink hot water. The high temperature of the water makes the sulfur especially palpable and you feel like you’re drinking liquid rotten eggs. But it’s good for you, so you chug it like a champ out of your sippy cup.

5

REASONS TO GET TESTED FOR COLON CANCER

if you’re 50 or older or have a family history of colorectal cancer

1. YOUR KIDS 2. YOUR FRIENDS 3. YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY 4. YOUR FUTURE 5. YOURSELF

To learn about ways to prevent colon cancer, visit cancer.org/fightcoloncancer or call 1-800-227-2345.

Then make your way back to the sanatorium, eat dinner, and pass out by 9pm. “This is kind of absurd,” you think, as you slip into one of the best slumbers you’ve had since infancy.

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SPONSORED

NATIONAL EYE ON SERVICIOS DE LA RAZA GALA FROM A WHITE HOUSE TWEET TO THE WHITE HOUSE “CHAMPION of Change for Affordable Care Act” award, Denver-based human services agency Servicios de La Raza has gone national. The new spotlight makes Servicios’ upcoming gala a hot topic among a large political crowd — especially in this election year.

Much of the attention for the agency stems from its bilingual work with healthcare enrollment. White House Chief of Staff Denis McDonough encouraged Colorado to get enrolled with Servicios de La Raza on two separate occasions: a Broncos Super Bowl chat with Mile High Sports and through his personal Twitter account. Soon after the surprising admiration from Washington, D.C., the Servicios gala confirmed Ms. Chavez Rodriguez is the White House Deputy Director of Public Engagement, Special Assistant to the President, and Granddaughter of legendary civil rights leader Cesar Chavez.

New fans of Servicios comes as no surprise, with Latinos expected to represent 16 percent of eligible voters in Colorado — nearly 2 percent higher than the 2012 elections.

“Our community’s voice is our vote,” says Servicios de La Raza Executive Director Rudy Gonzales. “We are seeing it echo to the upper tiers of government.” While Servicios started more than 44 years ago in 1972, Gonzales said “it’s events like the Gala that allow us to show how we continue to serve our communities.”

Servicios de La Raza expects to sell out its Fourth Annual “Raíces Latinas: Roots of Our Community” Gala with approximately 700 in attendance. Hosted by 9NEWS Reporter Jonathan Gonzalez, the gala will be Saturday, April 9, 2016 starting with reception at 6pm at the Denver Marriott City Center. The gala will celebrate the following three honorees for commitment to service: Kaiser Foundation, Lorenzo Ramirez Artistic Director with Grupo Folklorico Sabor Latino, and CO State Representative Joseph Salazar.

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GOGO BINGO An enthusiastic crowd turned out for GoGo Bingo at Broadways on March 16th.

The newest foray into Denver’s weekly Bingo circuit is hosted by local GoGo extraordinaire RJ Ford. GoGo Bingo features a special guest GoGo each week and Svedka drink specials. Balls drop every Wednesday at 9pm. (Undies drop at 11 April Fools!).

Photos by Charles Broshous

AMY THE TREAT-HOG

Meet Amy! She is a sweet and lovable girl who’s ready to find her new home! She’d do well in a home with lots of treats and head scratches. Come meet her soon and see if she’s the dog for you!

LADY THE TEENY

Meet Lady! This adorable little girl is looking for a quiet home where she can cuddle and receive lots of petting. She’d do well in a home with another dog and with children over the age of 10.

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H E I N Z ES I G H T

SHOPPING FOR HIGH-QUALITY GUYS Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist MANY PEOPLE FEEL IT’S HARD TO FIND GUYS TO SPEND TIME with who are interesting, sexy, and leave us wanting more. In our busy lives, it can be difficult to find time in our schedules to meet up with people or go on dates, so when we do make the effort to hang out with someone, we want to ensure that it is worth our investment. There are times when we wonder why we wasted energy engaging with certain people and lose confidence in our ability to choose great people for hanging out.

It can seem like many don’t live up to our standards and we are left wanting to pick from a better selection of quality people.

In our culture, dating is much like shopping at a second-hand clothing store. We all have had some type of relationship experiences and can be considered a “used” garment, but hopefully we haven’t outlived our usefulness and can find someone who finds us interesting. There are some people who show less wear-and-tear than others. While some appear to still be fashionable and relevant, others seem out-of-date and you wonder who would have ever had them in the past. You may want to wrap some around you for a warm snuggle up and others may rub you the wrong way after you try them on for a bit. Many look great on the outside until you realize that it is not made as well as it appears or you look at the tag to see that it is constructed out of a crappy material.

Our attempts to meet up with quality people is also akin to shopping. We are looking for someone who is visually interesting that can be had for a good price. There are periods in our lives where we may do a lot of shopping in the hopes of finding something that really thrills us or fits us well. Going out with the purpose of getting something new can sometimes leave us feeling bummed out that nothing really caught our 62 APRIL 06, 2016

eye. There are other times where you have no intention of shopping, but you run across something pretty cool and figure out it is quite a deal.

Work on the way you shop. Take the time to review your selections before you buy them. There is nothing wrong with trying something on and walking around with it for a bit. Impulse buying can be dangerous. Beware of rushing into buying something that will be a huge financial burden or something you really don’t need. Also, be careful about dismissing something great just because it may be missing a button or have a small tear in the fabric. Even if it isn’t perfect, it may still be a great addition to your closet or fun to wear occasionally.

Keep in mind that those brand-new items or ones that look flawless may not be that great once you start to look at it with more scrutiny. Many times the really pretty ones may fall apart and the well-worn ones are better made. Also, don’t forget to check out the sales racks. Sometimes there is an amazing find that may have been overlooked or mislabeled. Of course, some should remain on the discounted rack, donated to charity, or thrown out because they are damaged beyond repair or really gross.

In the world of fashion and in dating, there truly is something or someone for everyone out there. Some compatibilities are harder to find, but when you do discover something fantastic, get excited about finding it and whip out your credit card. Even though we have our general tastes, be open to a different style that may look good on us. Sometimes, shopping is about going into the right store at the right time to find something great, but it is important to go out with an open mind. You might find something interesting.

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H EA LT H But at the same time, I get it. Loneliness hurts. It’s shards of broken glass scraping away at your heart. And when you’re struggling with depression, those shards cut even deeper.

“If only I wasn’t alone,” I’d think to myself, “I’d feel better.”

Author Andrew Solomon, who has written books and lectured about his own experiences in dealing with depression, published an article in The Guardian calling depression a disease of loneliness.

“Many untreated depressives lack friends,” Solomon writes, “because it saps the vitality that friendship requires and immures its victims in an impenetrable sheath, making it hard for them to speak or hear words of comfort.”

And the irony of feeling lonely when we’re more connected to each other than ever before in human history isn’t lost on me. A recent study in the United Kingdom revealed that one out of 10 people don’t have a close friend, which amounts to over 4.5 million people in the UK who feel like an island surrounded by a sea of people.

We’re not alone in our loneliness.

But there’s a danger, I feel, in thinking that eradicating loneliness would somehow eradicate depression. I see people torturing themselves with the idea that if only they found the right partner or the right friend, they’d be less depressed.

I’m very fortunate to have several close friends in my life, one of whom I’ve known for decades. I feel completely comfortable confiding in them with my own struggles, my own vulnerabilities, my own shadowy secrets. But the depression is still there — always there — deeply embedded in my chest like an axe. In fact, there have been times when those friendships have been strained, as the thought of returning a friend’s message becomes needlessly and frustratingly overwhelming.

DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: THE UBIQUITY OF LONELINESS Mike Yost I WAS OUT ONE NIGHT WITH FRIENDS SMOKING A CIGARETTE between beers, and I remember standing on the sidewalk, almost shaking in the cold while we talked about relationships and that general feeling of loneliness from being single.

Then one of my friends mentioned he would rather be in a bad relationship than be by himself. This surprised me a bit, as I’d much rather be alone than live with someone who makes me feel alone.

66 APRIL 06, 2016

It’s difficult to find a friend or partner who works to understand that part of you. And it’s easy to find people who call themselves your friend only use that against you.

There’s also a therapeutic value to loneliness as it forces me to disconnect, at least for a time, and reflect. “All great and precious things are lonely,” wrote Steinbeck.

One of my favorite things to do is go on long hikes by myself, purposely getting a little lost in nature. I stop and listen to the wind shoulder its way through the trees. I witness the sun get swallowed up by the horizon. I drink in the night sky and glimpse this vast, seemingly isolated universe we all find ourselves born into.

There’s nothing wrong with someone because they feel lonely, especially when you consider how small we are from a cosmic perspective. But it’s a misstep to attempt to fill that void with people who may not accept you for the complete mess that makes you who you are. We’re all kind of a mess, depressed or not. And we all feel lonely, relationship or not.

Being lonely means being human.

Drool sideways.

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