CO LO R A D O'S LG B TQ M AGA ZINE | F R E E
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CONTENTS APRIL 18, 2018 VOL42 NO2
6 RELIGIOUS FREEDOM VS. LGBTQ RIGHTS: A RENEWED NATIONAL MOVEMENT 10 DENVER’S GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN KAI LEE MYKELS 12 THE BENEFITS OF MEDICAL CANNABIS ACROSS THE NATION 14 CLUELESS ABOUT CANNABIS: A FIRSTTIMER’S GUIDE TO GETTING HIGH
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OF LOVE AND POT: HIGH SEX 19 FARO KITCHEN SERVES UP INCLUSION AND HEALTHY EDIBLES 24 CANNABIS FOR HIV AND AIDS PATIENTS: THE HIDDEN REMEDY WITHIN THE PLANT 28 QUEER PIONEERS BOOK OF LOVE HEADED TO DENVER 30
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AGING IS A DRAG: A CHAT WITH ONE OF DENVER’S MOST ICONIC QUEENS 36 DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: DON’T MEDITATE ON MEDITATING 43 ASK A SLUT: THE DENVER CYCLE SLUTS WEIGH IN ON CANNABIS
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SERVING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 PHONE 303-477-4000 FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontMagazine.com FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontmagazine.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontmagazine.com RYAN HOWE Editor ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER Associate Editor BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist SARAH FARBMAN Copy Editor INTERNS: Arianna Balderamma, Kate Dooley, Madeline Espinoza WRITERS: Yvonne Wright, David-Elijah Nahmod, Ezra Kronfeld, Mike Yost, Veronica Hoyfield, Cycle Sluts ART art@outfrontmagazine.com DESIGN2PRO Graphic Designer CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Charles Brohous, Mike Bomberger MARKETING + SALES marketing@outfrontmagazine.com HARRISON SCHAFFER Director of Sales & Marketing BRENNAN GALLAGHER Marketing Executive QUINCEY ROISUM Marketing Executive National Advertising Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | sales@rivendellmedia.com
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RESERVATION OF RIGHTS Q Publishing Group, LTD is the owner of all right, title, and interest in the OUT FRONT brand and logo. No person or entity may reproduce or use (or authorize the reproduction or use of) the OUT FRONT brand and logo in any manner other than expressly authorized by Q Publishing Group. Unauthorized use of the OUT FRONT brand and logo is strictly prohibited. OUT FRONT is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: NEPA, Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and Denver Drama Critics Circle.
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NO QUEERS
ALLOWED
Religious Freedom VS LGBTQ Rights: A Renewed National Movement
By Yvonne Wright
“T
olerance is a two-way street.”
Sounds reasonable, right? The idea that two different groups with two different sets of beliefs can live peacefully side-by-side. But, here’s the thing. Agreeing to disagree about religious differences at the family dinner table is one thing. Using state legislation to revoke LGBTQ rights is another. The movement of pushing “religious freedom” bills at the state level is travelling across the country, and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) warns this state-by-state legislation is going to target more specific areas, like housing and adoption. It’s also going to use phrases like “tolerance is a two-way street” to make discrimination sound more palatable.
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Colorado got a taste of it last month, when a wide-sweeping “religious freedom” bill was debated, and voted down, in the state House Judiciary Committee. “We are trying to strike a balance,” said Autumn Leva, the Director of Policy and Communication for the Family Policy Alliance, an arm of the Colorado-based Focus on the Family. Every, single person who testified on behalf of the bill—from the massive religious organization to individual adoptive parents—repeated those two phrases during their testimony: "striking a balance” and “tolerance is a two-way street.” “Live and let live. I’m concerned it will do the opposite,” said Leslie Herod (D-CO), Colorado’s first out, LGBTQ, African American representative. She was referencing the bill’s welcoming title: Live and Let Live.
Had the bill had passed, anyone could have denied services to members of the LGBTQ community if they were morally opposed to queer folks. That means employers could have denied jobs to or even fired people because of gender preference; restaurants could have refused service; landlords could have refused rentals; and, at the extreme, some health care providers could have turned away injured LGBTQ members. “If I have a heart attack, where do I go without a doctor saying ‘sorry, I don’t treat people like you’?” asked Regina Kalacova, a 62-year-old, transgender Colorado native.
Christian organization that’s been deemed a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Its members have met with President Donald Trump. And Sharp has testified at a number of high-profile hearings, like one last month in California that tried to outlaw LGBTQ conversion therapy. Dr. Jenna Ellis, an assistant professor of law at Colorado Christian College, told lawmakers same-gender marriage is not legal in the U.S. because it was not under the purview of the Supreme Court to rule on marriage. She testified the ruling is illegal and state laws still prevail.
The HRC reported 129 anti-LGBTQ bills introduced across 30 states during the 2017 legislative season. Of those, 12 became law.
“Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,” was how attorney John McHugh, president of Colorado’s LGBTQ Bar Association, described that line of thinking.
“If an LGBTQ couple drove from Maine to California today, their legal rights and civil rights protections could change more than 20 times at state borders and city lines,” said HRC President Chad Griffin.
Colorado’s House Judiciary Committee is largely made up of minorities—minorities who remember when these same religious arguments were used against others.
The HRC predicts this type of legislation push will only increase this year. They are currently tracking more than 110 antiLGBTQ bills. If the Colorado hearing is any indicator, the national movement is a well-oiled machine.
Line in the Sand At least three attorneys testified on the Colorado bill’s behalf. Heavy hitters like Matt Sharp were brought in. He’s the senior counsel with Alliance Defending Freedom, a conservative
“Religion was used to rid America of indigenous peoples,” said Representative Joe Salazar, (D-CO). He said he remembers signs in establishments banning “Mexicans and dogs” from entering. Jovan Melton, an African American democrat who represents Aurora, said he recalls shops posting signs for “whites-only pies,” making reference to a lawsuit currently before the Supreme Court involving a gay couple in Colorado that was denied a wedding cake because of their sexuality. Melton asked, “What’s the difference between the whites-only pie then, and the straight cake of today?”
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Charlie Craig and David Mullins are at the center of that lawsuit. Craig testified, “It doesn’t matter if it’s just a cake. To be turned away from anyone is humiliating. This measure isn’t freedom of religion, but rather freedom from LGBT people.” The Supreme Court is expected to rule this summer on the Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission. It will determine whether business owners can choose not to serve LGBTQ patrons. Right now a Mississippi law that allows this type of discrimination is in full force after the Supreme Court refused to hear that case. Representative Herod reminded those present that members of the KKK promote themselves as a Protestant organization. Furthermore, she said she doesn’t want to see Colorado go back to being called “the hate state,” like it was when the anti-LGB Amendment 2 passed in 1992. It was later declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court. Amendment 2 made it illegal for cities like Boulder and Denver to provide legal protections for members of the LGB community. Jean Dubofsky, the first woman to become a Colorado Supreme Court Justice, successfully argued the lawsuit that led to the Supreme Court overturning Amendment 2. She said the Live and Let Live bill is similar in its breadth and is just as illegal. “Moral conviction, as defined [in this legislation], applies to anyone who doesn’t like LGBT people,” she said.
Repercussions of Religious Freedom Director of Public Affairs for Colorado’s Chamber of Commerce, Dorothy Ostrogorski, reminded the committee Colorado lost between $40-120 million from Amendment 2 boycotts. She said the current legislation would threaten incoming business or companies looking to expand. “It sends the message ‘we don’t want you, we don’t need you,’” she said. Ostrogorski warned similar legislation in Indiana and North Carolina led to large economic boycotts. Boycotts so big, Indiana had to back-peddle or risk losing multi-million dollar accounts.
adoption agencies to refuse to work with same-sex couples. Last year, Georgia’s governor vetoed a more broad-reaching “religious freedom” bill after receiving significant pressure from corporate giants like Coca-Cola. Adoption is a “sectorspecific” area the religious right is targeting because they see it as more likely to get approval than the more far-reaching bills that were mostly rejected last year. Current federal laws do provide some religious exemptions. Clergy, for instance, cannot be forced to marry same-sex couples. Most LGBTQ activists are only pushing against laws that involve businesses who provide public services. Public businesses receive public tax benefits—tax benefits that are subsidized by everyone, including members of the LGBTQ community.
Religious Leaders Weigh In Christians, Rabbis, and Sikhs all testified against the Colorado proposal. Dr. Paula Williams is no longer allowed inside many of the mega-churches she used to preach in. She said when she came out as transgender it took only one week for her to lose all of her high-ranking positions within large churches and religious organizations. Williams pointed to statistics from Pew Research Center that show a shift in theological thinking. More evangelicals, she said, are letting go of scripture interpretations that see homosexuality as a sin. She said if all scriptural beliefs were consistent, people who believe homosexuality is a sin would also believe, “In slavery, in banning interracial marriage, and that the earth does not revolve around the sun.” Dilpreet Jammu is the chair of The Interfaith Alliance of Colorado. He is also the founder of Colorado Sikhs. He testified that the proposed bill is as dangerous now as similar legislation in the 60s. “In 1965 [some people] found the Civil Rights Act to be in opposition of their sincerely-held religious beliefs,” he said.
Advocates for private Christian adoption agencies joined forces in Colorado to testify that pro-LGBTQ laws that went into effect in October of 2017 may result in shutting down agencies that refuse to send children to same-gender or transgender homes.
The question of what constitutes “sincerely-held religious beliefs” and how a court is expected to define that was raised several times, but not definitively answered. This is an issue we can expect to see again and again as these “religious freedom” measures continue to be introduced around the country.
“For us it’s a ministry, not a business,” said Beth Woods, executive director of Hope’s Promise, a Christian adoption agency that believes children are best served in homes with one male and one female parent.
Dr. Evette Lutman is the Rabbi at B’nai Havurah in Denver. She testified that the Colorado bill’s name, Live and Let Live, “Seems like a hole so big you could drive a truck through it.”
When questioned, other private adoption advocates said there have been no agencies forced to shut down since the laws have been in effect. But they said that may change with more stringent enforcement. “Twelve hundred kids in foster care in Colorado need homes. Why would we deny them to be placed in a loving home?” asked representative Herod. She echoed sentiments expressed by Georgia state democrats who voted against a measure that passed last month in the Georgia Senate, which would allow 8 \\ A P R I L 1 8 , 2 0 1 8
Representative Salazar, who is running for Attorney General in Colorado, agreed the title was misleading—making a discriminatory bill sound welcoming instead. “This bill will pass over my dead body,” he said. “I can’t believe we’re in 2018 and we still have to deal with this crap. And you can quote me that I said crap!” Although the bill didn’t pass in Colorado this time around, attacks in the guise of religious freedom seem to be a growing threat in Trump’s America.
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By Kate Dooley
Denver’s Good Christian Woman
Kai Lee Mykels
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“S
he grabs the world by the balls.”
That, y’all, is a direct quote from one of Denver’s most candid drag queens, Kai Lee Mykels, in describing her drag persona. “She is an empowered Joshua Brown.”
Otherwise known as the 'good Christian woman,’ Mykels has made her mark on Denver’s drag community. After a four-year stint at the iconic queer bar, Charlie’s, the Kai Lee Mykels Show now takes center stage at X Bar every Sunday. With nearly a decade of performing under her belt, she has circuited her way through Texas, Wyoming, and Colorado becoming a well-known queen in our neck of the woods, and making appearances at events such as Wyoming’s “Rendezvous,” a five-day queer campout in Laramie that involved Mykel’s having to put on her full drag makeup in the middle of the woods. Being able to do this attests to how far Kai Lee has come since her first performance in Austin, Texas—a performance that involved awkward heels and Rihanna's 2007 hit “Shut Up and Drive.” While Brown prefers not to relive his first experience in drag, it was an eye-opening moment, especially for someone growing up in eastern Texas—home to one of the biggest Southern Baptist Churches in the country. “If you’re nervous, that means you care about what you’re doing,” he said. Pushing through this performance, he has continued to develop his craft over the years. Today, drag has made an impressionable mark on contemporary media thanks to shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race and a society that’s more accepting, and even desiring, of unconventional identities. When Brown first began performing, the internet lacked the highly-digitalized makeup tutorials littering Facebook and Instagram we see today. Without these step-by-step guides, it was difficult to gain access into this seemingly fringe community. By simply messaging people on Facebook asking for help, Brown soon found his way within the drag scene and began honing a signature look—one evocative of an old -school aesthetic. “Old-school drag was to over-exaggerate femininity, and drag is constantly changing, as it should—as any art form should. Drag has no boundaries,” he explained. Regardless of this evolution, Kai Lee continues to don extreme blush and contour lines, despite other queens occasionally making fun of this outdated look. While there’s competition and judgement
inherent in any type of performance, Brown notes the relatively large encouragement prominent in Denver’s drag scene. No matter which end of the spectrum one exists on—from fishy queens (a term used to describe a queen who is extremely feminine) to androgynous or abstract queens— the community supports one another. With the majority of negative comments or hate happening via social media, she’s appreciative to see how quick other queens are to encourage one another. “We throw shade at each other, but it’s out of love. If I don’t love you, I don’t talk to you. If I’m throwing shade at you, that means I like you.” Since Trump has taken office, Brown notes a tightness in the community—both the drag scene and society more generally. Luckily for Brown, drag has given him a platform to speak out about social injustices, and Kai Lee will. At any one of her shows, you might hear her urge the audience to get active in the political environment by calling those in office, whether that be their Senators or their House of Representatives. “I always speak up,” he continued. Mixing civil issues with comedy, Brown’s use of humor successfully entertains her crowds while aiming to make a difference. Being a long-standing queen, Brown has grown accustomed to getting along with disruptive audiences. Especially within Denver’s queer community, people who see The Kai Lee Mykels Show consistently know not to talk back or interfere when she’s onstage. He takes pride in how he has trained spectators over the years. “Don’t disrespect us. This is our job; we don’t come to your salon, burger-joint, or magazine and try to do your jobs for you. We do our own job; respect us,” he stated. Not catering to anyone, Brown’s unapologetic style of performance is desperately needed within the contemporary social climate. Other than incorporating political statements, performing in drag is also a personal source of power for Brown. In describing himself, Brown claims he’s an “introvert and an extrovert.” As a somewhat socially shy person, his drag persona helps him harness confidence both on and offstage. Teary-eyed, Brown claimed that after discovering drag, his life was changed. “Kai Lee has helped me become stronger and realize that I am a beautiful person, that life is really beautiful. You have to step outside of that shell or box sometimes to empower yourself.” OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Medical CANNABIS THE N
By David-Elijah Nahmod
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s more and more people across the U.S. demand legalization, the concept of medical cannabis is becoming more of a mainstream form of treatment and is no longer thought of as the "alternative therapy" it was considered to be in the past. This is nothing new for Colorado, as we’ve been medicating with cannabis since 2000. But, finally, we are seeing an uptick in support to legalize it nationwide. Thirty states and the District of Columbia currently have currently legalized either medical or recreational cannabis in some form. Several medical cannabis users across the nation, including a practicing physician, spoke to OUT FRONT about the positive impact that medical cannabis has had on their lives—including mental health. Dr. David Martin has been a physician in solo practice
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for forty years. He is a medical cannabis user. Martin suffers from extreme cold sensitivity and finds that medical cannabis relieves his symptoms. "My legs turn purple even indoors with the slightest chill, impairing my gait," he said, adding that medical cannabis also enables him to sleep at night. "If I take two or three drags 30 minutes before sleep, it’s a pain-free at night. And it reduces stress effects even the next day." He has taken more traditional medications in the past, including anxiety medications, but prefers medical cannabis because, as he puts it, "No hangovers the next day." Martin told OUT FRONT that he smokes with a bong, but noted that medical cannabis taken in candy or cookie form was equally effective in providing pain relief. As a physician he recommends medical cannabis for stress and anxiety disorders, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Medical professionals aren’t the only ones to endorse the positives of cannabis healing. Carl Szulczynski, a gay man in the Chicago area, fully supports nationwide cannabis legalization. "Real people are already using it with miraculous results for their various, severe illnesses," he said. "Keeping it illegal forced patients into a criminal element to secure their effective medication. This victimizes patients and adds more stress to those of us with PTSD." Szulczynski recently obtained his medical cannabis card in order to get relief from his own PTSD. "I suffer with PTSD as a result of compiled personal tragedy and profound loss of loved ones," he told OUT FRONT. Szulczynski lives with fairly traditional PTSD symptoms, which can include flashbacks to traumatic experiences, anxiety, and severe depression. "I've self-medicated with cannabis for 30 years because it helps reduce the severity of my symptoms," he explained. "It completely relieves me of any anxiety attacks. It enables me to sleep through the night without nightmares waking me up. Like many people, stress causes an eating disorder for me. I just stopped eating when I didn't have any medication." Szulczynski reports that with easier access to medical cannabis he's gained eight pounds—and counting. Abram Shier, a gay man in California, told OUT FRONT that medical cannabis relieves his leg cramps and improves his sleep, which in turn improves his mental well being. "Pot has been a godsend for me," Shier said. "I have been using it for two years. I also use it when I have severed sciatica. Prior to smoking pot I was taking a Vicodin or two every night. Now I rarely need the Vicodin." Drugs like Vicodin and other opiates can be highly addictive, according to many reports. While people still need to take medical cannabis regularly, there is no long-term liver damage from taking pills, and no one has ever died from cannabis. "I begin work at 7 a.m. with an East Coast team," Shier said. "A good night’s sleep and clear head are both essential. With medical cannabis it's much easier to control appropriate dosage and has no side effects for me." Are you listening, lawmakers? OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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A First-Timer’s Guide to Getting High
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s I walked up to Boulder Botanicals, I was incredibly nervous and somewhat embarrassed. I felt my mother’s disapproval of me going to a dispensary. I was unconfident, even though I had a sorority sister at my side. I felt out of place, and Boulder Botanicals didn’t look or smell like any store I’ve ever been to. I’m freshly 21 years old, and brand freakin’ new to pot. I’m still stuck with the flashbacks of TV shows on Disney Channel, showing cannabis as this ominous green substance awkwardly offered to some straight-edge kid in an effort to say drugs are bad. I’m looking at you, Raven Symone.
was doing something wrong. I mostly kept my head down, bashfully entering the room with the product to be greeted by more people whom I felt could sense my inexperience. My friend quickly began browsing the store like a professional, closely examining and smelling whichever jar grabbed her attention. Honestly, it all looked the same to me, so I ditched her and started chatting with the first available employee, Patrick Price.
But, with legalization and a dissolving negative stigma, cannabis is all the rage. And I wanted to experience it, just not alone. But, let’s get back to Boulder Botanicals.
I struck up conversation by sheepishly asking if I could buy some weed. I was met with a variety of questions about strains and effects, to which I replied in a confused silence. I could feel my eyes gloss over in confusion. I was greeted with a mini-lesson on pot.
First off, there was a ton of security. A big man checked my ID at least three times, which somehow made my palms sweat, even though it’s my valid driver’s license. I still felt like I
Price explained cannabis as, “A subjective experience that varies from person to person. However, there are a few generalizations we can make. Indica and Sativa categorize the effects
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of how different strains make you feel. We think of the genetic heritage of each strain belonging to each group. It is all a spectrum, which crosses and strains can fall into.” Trust your local dispensary worker; they know what they’re talking about and are surprisingly nonjudgmental. I went with a Sativa variety that smelled like blueberries, and realized I had no idea what to do next. There are a bunch of ways to use cannabis: oral, topical, and inhalation all have their own use subcategories. After choosing a small, pink pipe I was thoroughly coached on how not to set my curtains on fire—which would disappoint my firefighter dad.
By Madeline Espinoza
Now, it was time for the fun part, trying my new purchase. My friends thought this was hilarious; they’re veteran smokers. I made them all turn around while I fiddled with my lighter; my dad was adamant about not letting me play with fire, which made the first time a little tricky. After my friends stopped laughing, and I let them turn around to help, I successfully hit my pink pipe and immediately felt the effects. And I immediately wanted Oreos. We watched Rick and Morty, which made me too nervous, then switched to HGTV which showed lush beaches and rich couples looking to buy expensive houses. I thoroughly enjoyed the serenity and looking at granite countertops while
Stacy and Brett looked for their third home in Puerto Vallarta. And the Oreos were delicious. Eventually I fell asleep and woke up 12 hours later, refreshed and thirsty. Getting high responsibly isn’t scary, and helped my muscle aches and pains, plus made TV much more awesome. The dispensary wasn’t super embarrassing, despite my face being bright red the entire time. The demonization of pot has subsided significantly from its old media portrayal—and Raven was cancelled long ago. From this once-cannabis virgin, I would highly suggest grabbing some buds, and enjoying the luxury of legalization. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Of Love And Pot: High Sex in Denver By Ezra Kronfeld
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ven after the legalization of cannabis prejudices and stereotypes of cannabis users persist; the government, the media, and the education system have portrayed smokers as, at best, lazy deadbeats with no ambition, and at worst, potentially-violent and mentally-ill menaces to lawabiding society (flashbacks to the 1936 film Reefer Madness). This displays an interesting parallel to sexuality, especially with queer people and women, who have also been hypocritically demonized throughout history. As it turns out, these two taboo pleasures have been joined in the form of weed-fueled erotic activity, and this trend has been gaining popular interest. Jaymen Johnson has run weekly sex parties since January at his Colorado Springs-based cannabis club, Speakeasy. “I’ve been in the industry for ten years, and as far as I was concerned, cannabis and sex first combined quite a while ago,” said Johnson. “Most couples that I know who consume cannabis already incorporate it into their intimate lives. What we’re
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seeing now is the branding and propagation of it, people putting money behind the science of it.” There’s no doubt that legalized cannabis has spawned a burgeoning new industry. Companies like FORIA Pleasure, an all-natural cannabis oil thoughtfully designed for women and their partners, have gained respectable profits, as well as coverage from a variety of media outlets. These products are often infused with cannabidiol (or CBD), a hugely-present phytocannabinoid within the hemp plant that does not affect the user’s mind. Usually, when anxietyreducing CBD is the main component of the product, the idea is to ease any pain or nervousness associated with sex; this is present in products such as FORIA’s “Explore” anal suppository, as well as circulation-increasing women’s lubricants from companies like Privy Peach. “As long as it helps you check in, not check out, it can be really helpful. I’ve seen it be really helpful for people who are trying to tap into their own arousal or their own orgasm,” explained Jenni Skyler, a sexologist, therapist,
and longtime director of the Boulder-based Intimacy Institute, in regard to sensual cannabis use. Skyler said that while she has seen cannabis help people who are trying to "heighten the sensation" not unlike a glass of wine or other stimulants, it is important that if you are totally reliant on a substance to be comfortable enough for sexual acts, “you’ll want to double-check yourself and examine consensuality.” The cannabinoid type-1 receptor (CB1) is the part of your brain that THC activates, and according to psychology professor Mitch Earleywine, it “seems to be involved in improved tactile sensations and general euphoria.” Indeed, most cannabis users can attest that pot makes your body relaxed; this can very obviously lead to horniness, and can help put people at ease during sex or masturbation. The research and data regarding this topic is new, and will likely progress in the next decade, as companies are definitely going to figure out new ways you can use cannabis products to have better sex. At the moment, however, the efficacy and beneficiality of these products are often best reflected by the testimonials of consumers. But, consumers are not disappointed, as a plethora of sprays, suppositories, lubricants, and other products have received immense praise. All of this in mind, remember that pot affects everyone differently. If you are going to try out cannabis-assisted carnality, make sure all parties are consenting and comfortable. If that’s all in order, do your research on a product, pick up some of that genital manna, and have yourself some safe and responsible fun.
LGBTQ Adoption Simplified The recent evolution of same-sex marriage laws and our current political climate make it critical that LGBTQ parents establish legally secure parent-child protections with regard to their children. At Woody Law Firm, we take pride in assisting our clients who successfully adopt children, especially into same-sex marriages, civil unions, single parent homes, and into families where there is no legal relationship between the parents. There are many important reasons for LGBTQ parents to formally adopt a child into their relationship, if adoption is available. For example, if a parent dies or is mentally or physically disabled, and the child was not adopted by the unaffected parent, there may be trouble determining who has parental rights to the child. Such conflict adds stress for the entire family, and most importantly, for the children involved. Additionally, where there is a strong bond between a non-legal parent and child, a formal adoption can help strengthen the relationship in the eyes of the parents, children, family, and community. Research has shown that children of LGBTQ partners frequently want to be adopted to satisfy their need for feelings of permanence, belonging, and acceptance.
For some families, a “Stepparent Adoption” may be appropriate. A Stepparent Adoption occurs when there is a valid marriage between the adopting parent and the legal parent, and the other living legal parent has abandoned or has failed provide support to the child for a period of one year or more. In this case, we can help the stepparent ensure that he or she will be able to care for the child in the event the legal parent/spouse cannot, and after the adoption the child will have the right to inherit from the stepparent/adoptive parent. Similarly, where there is only one legal parent, we can help that parent's partner petition for a “Second Parent Adoption.” In addition to paperwork, adoptions may involve a home study report, criminal background check, and a courtroom hearing. The attorneys at Woody Law Firm have the knowledge and experience to help families navigate the system and protect their children. And of course, even if you are not in an LGBTQ relationship, we are happy to help guide you through the legal aspects of your adoption matter in Colorado. Adoptions are joyous events and we would be honored to consult with you to make adoption a reality for you and your family. NATIVE CONTENT
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Photos by Kanesha Facello
Faro Kitchen Serves Up Inclusion and Healthy Edibles By Addison Herron-Wheeler
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he edibles market in Colorado is saturated with companies promising dank, gooey, sugar-filled goodies that will deliver a crazy high. Often, they are marketed to tourists and anyone looking for a quick and easy buzz. Faro, a queer women-run and all-natural edibles company, takes a different approach. The founders of Faro, Paige Kazazian and Stacie Nagy, run the show with attention to the healing effects of cannabis, the ingredients that go into each edible, and the ethics of the company. The two met in North Carolina, so they’re familiar with being in the minority as far as being queer women and cannabis enthusiasts.
Holistic Medicine, Not Cheap Highs “The focus is on consistency, low-dose, refined, sugar-free, health conscious products, made with [ingredients like] dates or local Colorado honey,” explained Kazazian. “Our edibles are gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, egg-free; that’s the biggest difference, and from there we really care about the quality and the ingredients that we use. We believe the food we put in our
bodies is as important as the cannabis we put in our bodies.” The product was born from a desire to have edibles that are good products to dose with daily, both in terms of the dosage they offer and the ingredients they are made up of. “What really brought us together around this company is that neither of us is interested in getting stoned or getting high all that often, but [we both] believe in the medical benefits [of cannabis], explained Nagy. “If you were taking a medicine, you wouldn’t take it once a week; you take it daily as prescribed. If you want the medical benefits of cannabis, why are you taking a gummy or a chocolate once a week? We were craving something we could eat daily or a couple times a day to get continued benefits.” All of Faro’s edibles are superfood bites, and the cannabis is paired with healthy ingredients, like matcha tea and espresso beans for those who want an energy boost, but don’t want to pair smokeables or sugary cannabis treats with equally-sugary coffee. Those who don’t want the extra buzz can try bites with flavors like almond, chia seed, pistachio, or cherry. The bars are all made with attention to the type of cannabis used as well, and many contain cannabidiol or CBD. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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of color once they are able to expand, and also try to work with companies owned by minorities and queer people for packaging, distribution, and graphic design whenever possible. As southerners, Nagy and Kazazian would like to donate part of their salaries specifically to the Southern Poverty Law Center, in an effort to help those who have been arrested for cannabis use in the south, especially the people of color that are wrongly victimized in racially-segregated areas that still engage in prohibition. “We want to help groups like Southerners on New Ground who help purple and blue the southern states and open up the environment for something like legalization,” explained Naggy. “We also want to help make things more hospitable for the queer community, and that kind of manifests in paying our employees a living wage.” The women acknowledge that the industry is still heavily biased towards men, not to mention lacking inclusion for the queer folks who so readily consume cannabis, and of course for the people of color who have been demonized by prohibition. “I think the biggest disappointment for how the industry has evolved so far is how relatively shut out of the industry people of color and queer people of color have been, especially since law enforcement has born its weight on them,” explained Nagy.
Bootstrapping the Bankroll Another thing that sets Faro appart from a lot of the cannabis companies in Denver is the lack of capitol behind their venture. Unlike some of the start-ups that come into town with a hefty bankroll to blow, Faro are doing it all themselves. “We both come from working to middle class families in the south, and funding isn’t as strong for us as it may be for those coming from finance or real estate, or from Denver,” admits Nagy. “We are fundraising; we just did a round of dispensary samples to get letters of intent.” Both Nagy and Kazazian have had to work full-time jobs to finance their company, rather than spending all their time on the venture and waiting for it to pay off. Still, they claim that once they begin turning a profit from their company, they want to take reduced salaries so that their team can make $15 an hour, and they plan to give a chunk of their proceeds back to charity.
Powered by Queerness and Intersectional Feminism Their strong commitment do doing the right thing in spite of limited funds comes from the fact that all those involved with the business are queer women, and some are queer women of color. In addition to Nagy and Kazazian, Cynthia Ruiz, who identifies as Chicana or Mexican-American, is director of sales (and Kazazian’s girlfriend), and Katya Weiss-Anderson is head chef. The team is also fully committed to prioritizing the hiring of queer folks, women-identified individuals, and people 2 0 \\ A P R I L 1 8 , 2 0 1 8
“It’s alamaring and there is a lot of work to be done,” Kazazian added. “I think also in terms of the queer community being such big consumers, cannabis was first brought to a medicinal standpoint because of the AIDS crisis and the gay activists in california who propelled our issue forward. It is now a very cis-white-heteronormative culture. It can be intimidating to go to some of these events and parties; everyone there is whiter, affluent, older. But what matters is being numbers and data and analytics-driven. It doesn’t matter what my background or experience is; I know that is something seriously needed in the industry.”
A Brighter Future As the industry continues to grow, women, people of color, queer folks, and those from low-income backgrounds are getting more and more opportunities to be involved, despite all the setbacks they still face. Faro would like to see those opportunities multiply. They would also like to see cannabis products made from holistic ingredients and infused with high-quality cannabis made available for those who need to medicate. “Just like how we want to change how edibles are consumed, we want to be a beacon of light to other startups and existing businesses,” explained Kazazian. “That is why our imagery is a lantern. It’s about consistency, quality, ethical products produced. I would love in the future to have a queer-owned collective. I would love to have multiple people working on the same license to help each other, throw down on rent together, go to support different events and things in the city together. If there are any queers who want to work in the industry, we would love for them to reach out.”
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Denver Springs Offers Innovative Addiction and Mental Health Treatment There’s a place nestled near Centennial, with one very clear mission: change people’s lives. Seems lofty. But, it’s working. Denver Springs is changing people’s lives by delivering innovative and evidence-based treatment in a professional and compassionate environment that creates a foundation for long-term healing and recovery. They provide inpatient and outpatient treatment services to adults and youth suffering from mental illness or addiction in a facility that features secure, peaceful accommodations, including private courtyards, comfortable rooms, and patient lounges. The goal? To consistently deliver quality, evidence-based treatment using a program-centered approach intended to reach beyond the typical model commonly used throughout the industry. This is accomplished by using the latest advancements in program curriculum such as web-based COGNIT, Good Days Ahead, and the Hazelden Co-Occurring Disorders Program. Individualized treatment plans are developed and used to begin the journey to recovery and mental wellness. “Denver Springs is a welcoming and safe environment for people that are looking to recover from addiction or mental health,” Director of Business Development Ethan Dexter said. “We want this place to be where they start the healing process. Our intention is to be the best we can for our patients.” Although it’s only a year old, the staff at Denver Springs has seen the need for this type of treatment facility. In the first few months, they had more than 2000 people call in inquiring about services. Not all callers needed treatment, but the ones that did are walking away with the tools they need to navigate through the world. “We measure success by seeing who comes back,” Dexter said. “If someone walks out and doesn’t need to return, we’ve succeeded. Luckily, we’ve had a pretty low return rate.” Denver Springs focuses on helping people face two very specific, very challenging obstacles. One of those obstacles is addiction. There’s no doubt addiction is a powerful and difficult condition to treat. Denver Springs approach addiction through medical intervention—detoxification— when appropriate, followed by a comprehensive rehabilitation program. The model is based upon cognitive behavioral therapy in conjunction with COGNIT, an internet-based e-learning and continuous recovery management tracking system. COGNIT provides patients with 24-hour access to education and relapse prevention support tools, both during hospital treatment and following discharge. The use of non-addictive, anti-craving medications is also available based upon physician recommendations and a patient’s history of compulsions, cravings, and relapse. “Denver Springs is one of the only hospitals of our type in the 2 2 \\ A P R I L 1 8 , 2 0 1 8
state that offers medical detox,” Dexter said. “Beyond that, we really try to discover what is causing the addiction and how to combat it. We know that these are often times lifelong challenges that can’t be fixed overnight.” The second thing Denver Springs helps their patients treat is mental health. They treat individuals who may be suffering from depression, anxiety, panic attacks obsessive and/or compulsive thoughts or behavior, post-traumatic stress, auditory and/or visual hallucinations, anger, or impulse control issues. The team at Denver Springs works with the patients as they navigate through treatment activities that address the biological, psychological, and relationship skills needed for recovery. They focus on inpatient stabilization, alongside rehabilitation services involving group and family therapy sessions, nutritional education, activity therapy, spirituality sessions, and medication education. As patients work with the team at Denver Springs, they have a number of options to choose from that appropriately fit their needs. In the Inpatient Program, patients receive detailed clinical and medical assessments, psychiatric stabilization, and rehabilitation care. This program offers the advantages of a controlled, structured environment with 24-hour nursing care and intensive treatment not available on an outpatient basis. The Partial Hospitalization Program provides structured therapy five days a week. Patients typically spend five to six hours per day participating in psychotherapy groups, recreational therapy, and educational groups, while patients who choose the Intensive Outpatient Program typically spend nine to 15 hours per week in the program. Denver Springs also offers all of the above programs for youth. “We treat the human first,” Dexter said. “It doesn’t matter who you are; we are here to help you get better, and we’ve got experts on our team.” For more information about Denver Springs, visit their website at DenverSprings.com
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CANNA HIV
FOR
AND PATIENTS: AIDS
The Hidden Remedy Within the Plant By Addison Herron-Wheeler
I
t has become almost scripture for AIDS activists and cannabis activists alike to talk about the history of their causes, to reference the worst of times during prohibition, or the AIDS crisis of the 80s. But what many don’t realize is, the two worlds have always been connected. In San Francisco during the AIDS crisis, a group of queerrun cannabis activists, spearheaded by Dennis Peron and Lynette Shaw, realized that cannabis could offer up healing to those who couldn’t eat or were experiencing pain. And the rest is history.
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Peron and his team dedicated all of their time and energy to cannabis legalization and normalization, as well as to helping patients get the medicine they needed. Now, in 2018, Colorado has legal and medical cannabis, and it’s very possible for HIV and AIDS patients in legal states to get cannabis. However, all isn’t perfect for those looking for relief. Cannabis is still illegal at a federal level, and there is a serious lack of research to support how helpful cannabis i s when it comes to things like pain and nausea. And cannabis almost always has to be prescribed as a panacea or recreational afterthought; even in the process of writing this story, it was difficult to get people to go on record talking about HIV, AIDS, and cannabis. Despite all the hard work of the early, queer cannabis activists, there is still a long way to go.
ABIS The Legal 411
Those who are seeking to use cannabis to help with AIDS can’t just walk into their regular doctor’s office and ask for a prescription. When it comes to those who officially handle AIDS cases, they can only make recommendations. “At Colorado Health Network and Colorado AIDS Project, we take a client-centered approach," explained Jamie Villalobos, director of regional programs for the Denver office. “So if a client comes in and they are presenting medical marijuana in their wellness plan, if the client is like, ‘I want to be using medical marijuana to help out with the wasting, or the nausea, or appetite loss, or pain, or anxiety,’ then that is their wellness plan. We can support holistic treatments, but we are going to support them by saying, ‘hey ,this is something that we encourage you to recommend or discuss with your primary care physician.’” In other words, while medical cannabis has progressed to the point that a patient can’t get into legal trouble for asking a doctor about it, doctors still aren’t really allowed to recommend it. Often, of course, patients will speak to their doctors, only to be told that medical cannabis isn’t recommended, or that their doctor can’t speak to it one way or the other. Still, it is a major step forward that patients can in fact ask about cannabis, and at least be encouraged to try. When it comes personal feelings on cannabis and how it has impacted patients, Villalobos is grateful for the relief it can provide patients, even if he is slightly skeptical because of the lack of research currently available. “I think it is really helpful; I know some clients and it has helped them really well,” he explained. “We are going to support the health and wellbeing of our clients; I know there are pros and cons to using marijuana, and we are supportive of the option, but it goes back to an individual thing. Clients are different, react differently, and again we are supportive; we are good with what has been presented, but we need to make sure there is more info out there.”
Finding Relief There is definitely a lack of clear, researched evidence that cannabis helps patients, even with the symptoms of AIDS.
However, there is a lot of anecdotal evidence to back up the claims. Gregory Giori first learned of his positive status in 1989, and he estimates that his exposure date was probably in the 70s. At the time, like many AIDS patients, Giori was simply told that it was a death sentence and he should get his affairs in order. To the surprise of many, he lived, and although he was often very sick, he found relief in cannabis. “I had used cannabis in my younger years and my mom also recommended it back in the later 80s,” he explained. “When I met Lynette Shaw and we became friends, she always had it available. At that point I was developing some pretty severe stomach issues that affected my ability to eat, and cannabis reinvigorated my interest in food, because I was losing weight. She provided it kindly and said, 'Look, this is going to help you,’ and it has. Throughout his life, Giori has tried all manner of cannabis medication, from edibles and smokeables to vaping. Despite the cannabis, his symptoms have prevailed, and he has spent much of his life in the hospital. At one point he was in a coma, in constant threat of having the plug pulled. However, any time the pain or nausea gets bad, cannabis is there to help him heal. If it weren’t for the cannabis, Giori would be on a cocktail of pain pills and other pain medications, many of which can do more harm than good to a person with a compromised immune system and a tendency towards depression or addiction due to chronic illness. “I was the only patient who opted not to take opiates,” he explained, talking of his time in the hospital with other AIDS patients. “I didn’t take them, didn’t become addicted, used the pain as a spiritual journey to transform. Lynette [Shaw] brought me CBD as well as thc tinctures, which made it possible for me to eat.” While dispensaries and other cannabis providers can’t offer specific cannabis advice, they can suggest strains and products that help with the symptoms caused by AIDS. “We don’t offer medical advice, but for nearly a decade we have experienced daily interactions with customers that have reported strains such as L.A. Confidential, Cannatonic (CBDheavy), Death Star, and Bubba Kush provide relief for pain and nausea. Additionally, micro-dosing can help you function without the psychoactive effects by softening the edges,” said John Andrle, co-owner of L’Eagle Services.
A Tool for Healing Many misunderstand the quest for legalizing cannabis to help with AIDS and HIV, thinking that it’s meant to be some kind of magical cure for arguably the worst disease the human race has ever experienced. This is not so; rather, it is the goal of patients and advocates for cannabis to be available as a medical tool to heal the symptoms of AIDS. With a better understanding of how cannabis works, and more legalization and education, those who suffer from the AIDS will be able to find better relief. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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QUEER PIONEERS BOOK OF Love Headed to Denver By Addison Herron-Wheeler
U
nderground genres like synthpop, goth, and punk have often been breeding grounds for alternative lifestyles and queer identities. Punks experimented with gender-bending and samegender relationships, and these same ethos and ideas carried over into the genres it inspired. Book of Love is one of the bands that pioneered queer identity in alternative music, and they are still doing it today. Made up of a mix of genders and sexual orientations, and spawned from a love of music and art, Book of Love were a queer band before queer bands were a thing, and laid the foundation for outsider music.
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“I think that the main theme is really about being an outsider, and obviously gay people feel like they are outsiders, even though lately the community has risen to some level of acceptance,” explained Ted Ottaviano, keyboardist, lyricist, vocalist, sampler, and various instrumentalist of Book of Love. “I think feeling like an outsider, an outcast from the mainstream, has always been a theme. It is reflected in all our most notable songs; there is always that message. We didn’t even have to really obviously state it; it was always embedded in the music. Our fans pretty much had the handbook they needed to understand the message.” This underlying message of queerness and acceptance translates over into a lot of their music, including one of their biggest hits, “Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls.” Although to them it was just another song about their lifestyle and what they were surrounded by, it ended up becoming a queer anthem for a disenchanted generation. “‘Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls’ really reflected who we were and what our lifestyles were in New York City,” he said. “The downtown scene in New York in the early 80s was a potpourri of artists, and there was a lot of sexual ambiguity, a lot of androgyny; it walked so many different lines and that became our world and our life, so we wrote about things that we were familiar with, and in a strange way it was kind of our norm, but it was probably perceived as a version of some subculture that most people hadn’t been exposed to. Now, it feels like it’s becoming more
explained Ottaviano. The AIDS epidemic hit so many people that were a part of the scene that we were in, and we felt like we wanted to speak about it, and the story that always comes up is that the song had almost a binary message. You could listen to it and understand that dialogue that was happening, but it was also a dance song that had an upbeat message on another level.” So upbeat, in fact, that the band was even approached to put it in a commercial. Sunkist Soda wanted to use the tune as a jingle, but even though the offer of a paycheck was tempting, Book of Love decided to decline. They were worried about cheapening the message of a song that had meant a lot to a lot of people, and didn’t want that turned into an easy commercial message. Today, Book of Love is still making music and touring, and still expressing a lot of the same themes that they have always been known for. They don’t see it as a lack of progress, but as a way to move forward and embrace their narrative in the queer community. “We have made some newer music, and even if the sound of it has changed, the actual main thoughts and themes that we talk about have pretty much remained the same, and I feel good about that,” Ottaviano admitted. “I almost feel like it’s more important to be about something than to be about everything. I think based on our sensibilities and the things that we are interested in, and historically groups and styles of music that have been influenced by the gay community, they remain a part of our cannon of music that we love and listen to, and what comes out is our own sound. It has almost been kind of effortless, just making things and creating things that we feel are exciting.”
mainstream, those thoughts and ideas that we put into our early songs about ambiguity.” Book of Love are now touring 30 years after writing that initial song about androgyny and ambiguous relationships. The song was important for them because of what three decades ago represents for the queer community. AIDS was running rampant in the circles they were part of, and queer people needed an anthem to rally to. “It was an important song for us because it reflected an experience that so many people were having,”
Having survived a much darker time for the queer community, Book of Love have a lot of positives to say about the growth they have experienced, as well as the growth of the underground community. Gone are the days when a record label was necessary for a band to get noticed, and when it was difficult for certain people to get their hands on the music they want to hear. Although they notice a few downsides agreed upon by many older musicians—such as fewer people buying music—they overall notice positive change in the 30 years since they wrote their iconic hit. “We remain so thankful to our gay audience because they came first, and they remained,” he explained. Book of Love are playing Saturday, April 21 at Herman’s Hideaway in Denver. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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AgingDrag: is a
A Chat With one of Denver’s Most Iconic Queens
By Veronica L. Holyfield
K
Kenneth Stallings sat in the dining room of his cozy two-bedroom apartment, nestled in Cap Hill, Denver’s gayborhood. As another day’s sun set behind the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, Stallings sat a table covered in makeup that lay in wait with one singular and designated purpose: to layer on a mask of grandeur. Foundations and primers, eyeshadows and blushes, glitters and finishing powders, all lined in a row. The transformation into Felony Misdemeanor has been perfected—yet again. She is then out the door, ready to embody her long-serving throne of Denver’s drag royalty. Voted Denver’s Best Drag Queen, Stallings is no stranger to the routines and rituals of this life. With the never-ending pressure of youth and urgency of remaining relevant in a world of novelty, Stallings is slaying the game. “I’ve been performing 17 years; I’ve been doing this a long time,” Stallings said with a bit of exasperation. On the eve of his 43rd birthday, he shared how he got his start as a drag queen in El Paso, Texas, on an accidental whim. While working at a gay bar, he was approached by the manager one evening to fill in last-minute for a no-show queen. He hadn’t hit the stage since a high school talent show, but decided to
give it a try. His manager suggested a drag go-to performance when he told him, "Do Janet (Jackson); I want you to do Janet!” “I didn’t do Janet; I did Missy Elliot. That’s where my name comes from,” he said with a laugh. Stallings described the early days of Felony, and how everything about drag was different and challenging. "Nowadays, it’s a fad. But back then, you were in it,” he explained. The community was hidden, kept safely underground. “You had to eagerly seek it out; you had to really want to do drag.” “They didn’t have clothes readily accessible, and the clothes were not cute,” he scoffed. “The (new queens) just see the glitz and glam of it; they don’t know how hard it was.” Dresses two sizes too big were purchased from department stores in secret. Most queens would sew and embellish their own costumes, however, Stallings admitted he wasn’t the best with a needle and thread. Instead, he discovered another trick. “A lot of hot glue, girl. I’m good with a hot glue gun.” Through his hard work over the almost two decades of drag life, Stallings marked some tremendous milestones. He has traveled the country, in 2016 was named Denver’s Best Drag OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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Queen by Westword, and performed on stage at Red Rocks Amphitheater in 2017 as opening act for the Film on the Rocks screening of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. He’s also a regular performer at Drag Nation and one of the best judges of Track’s Ultimate Queen Competition. “I hate to say this,” Stallings admitted, “but I’m at a point in my career where people reach out and ask me to perform. But, I’ve worked hard.” His humility doesn’t dismiss the fact that he has gotten to this point for a reason. However, all of the success doesn’t lessen the pressure to keep things fresh for every show. Multiple hours a week are spent on choreography and creating new characters. “Queens judge each other. You better not have the same show on Sunday that you had on Tuesday, is all I’m saying,” he warned. Over the years he has seen the trends change, but unlike any previous generation, the current struggle is staying relevant. “They wanna see the young kids nowadays; it’s keeping up with the Joneses.” Tanner Wade, friend of Stallings, has witnessed how hard it is for a queen to age in the industry. “Things can get nasty,” he admitted, “and age is an easy thing to make fun of.” Before, a young queen would pursue a relationship with an older drag queen as a mentor, a drag mother. The mother/ daughter exchange was the most important of all. A veteran queen’s name would act as a stamp of approval, the community would accept or reject the daughter based upon it. That role has all but been eliminated now, technology and social media are to thank and to blame. In 2018, anyone interested in trying drag can purchase outfits by shopping online. Makeup tricks are easy to come by with a simple browse through thousands of tutorial videos on YouTube. Tips and tricks that were once a necessary passing down of the lineage are now an antiquated practice. So, what makes Felony able to survive the pressure, the fight against the clock of becoming yesterday’s news? Dynamic stage presence and persona? Tenacity and hustle? The sheer love of performing? Yes, to all of the above, but mostly because of who Felony is as a performer. “She’s not arrogant; she’s kind; she’s nice,” his friend Wade sincerely said. “I’ve met a lot of other queens that are full of themselves, feeding an image they need to create. Felony doesn’t need to do that; she’s just herself.” While Felony plays a lot of divas, Stallings isn’t one at heart, and knows at the end of the day what is most important. He has a close bond with his family, a long list of faithful friends, and a strong sense of self. And, above all else, after all the years of putting on the character of Felony, he still loves every moment of. “I love the spotlight; I love performing,” he said, glowing. Though the struggles of age and relevancy do exist, this queen has no plans of letting a number drag her down any time soon. 3 2 \\ A P R I L 1 8 , 2 0 1 8
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Photos By Charles Broshous
Denver Gay & Lesbian Flag Football League OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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By Mike Yost
Dueling with Depression:
Don’t Meditate on Meditating
Okay. What does that even mean? What does what mean?
Stop being cheeky. The title you drafted for this article. You mean the title WE drafted? Whatever. What do you think the title means? I’d have to . . . meditate on that. Here’s a better question. Not even a chuckle? Why do you meditate? Well, I get overwhelmingly depressed, and I get tremendously anxious. So, through meditation, I try to redirect my thinking from all the creative ways I’m imagining my own suicide. And does it work? Sometimes. Certainly not as often as I would like. How the hell can you quite a mind that’s telling you it’s a good idea to jump off a bridge over the interstate at night while wearing lit fireworks? Fair enough. Now how do you meditate? I hang upside down from my ceiling, naked, smothering myself in cool whip while quoting lines from The Princess Bride. What do you want from me? I’m just saying that the meditating itself is far more important than the method you’re using to do all that meditating. Methods vary greatly. And absolutely nobody can seem to agree on which method is the best method. Have you any idea how many methods I’ve practiced? “Mawwiage!” See! The voices never shut the hell up! “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” 3 8 \\ A P R I L 1 8 , 2 0 1 8
I could drown in this constant deluge of thoughts sloshing around in my skull. “Inconceivable!"
Stop! You see!? Right there! You’re actually doing it right now. I am? Doing what? Meditating. Bullocks! Quoting lines from a movie isn’t meditating. According to whom? I don’t know. The experts? And how do you become an expert in meditation? Is there a university? Do people walk around with a BA in meditation? Well, a BA in anything is just as useful in the job market. When quoting lines from a movie you enjoy watching, are you not redirecting your thinking? And are you not the most qualified expert on how YOU can accomplish such a task? Okay. You do realize I’m seriously screwed up in the head. WE’RE seriously screwed up. Outside of all the suicidal ideation and paralyzing anxiety, you’re talking to a voice in your head and transcribing the conversation into an article. We’re not even sure which voice is the real you! Clearly it’s me. Face it. This whole scenario doesn’t speak so well to our mental health or our future. We’re probably going to die alone in a basement apartment surrounded by half-a-dozen rescue cats. Yet while you’re quoting lines from a good movie, you’re not—GREAT movie!—you’re not thinking about suicide or anxiety. Well, I am now. You weren’t even concentrating on how you were redirecting your thoughts away from suicide or anxiety. You just did it!
I did? Quote more lines from the movie. Umm . . . “You mock my pain.” More! This isn’t working. Because now you’re thinking about it! Over and over I get in my own way, even when I try to watch my thoughts, I start watching the watcher watching the thoughts! Am I breathing correctly? Am I sitting in the correct position? Shouldn’t I be wearing clothes?
“Why meditate?” Alan Watts asks. “Why do you have to crawl up into a hole? Or go to a Zen monastery? Or retire and be quiet when this is only a withdrawal?” Who the hell is Alan Watts? Watts states that by seeking a specific method or a specific guide, you’re just confusing yourself. “You are looking for what you’re asking for outside, as if someone else could give it to you. As if you didn’t have it.” So, everyone who talks about meditation is full of bird droppings? Wouldn’t that include Alan Watts?
No. Well yes, we should. Everyone should watch that movie.
All these methods of meditation are guidelines, not rules to be rigidly followed. So yeah, if you think Alan Watts is full of bird droppings, then so be it! Just don’t take it all so seriously!
Agreed. But that’s meditating?
Seriously?
No. Well, kind of. Some people focus on their breathing and clear their thoughts in the morning and that works fine for them. I find that whole process laborious. Instead I quote lines from The Princess Bride, yet some people might find that movie laborious.
Seriously.
So to meditate, we should just watch The Princess Bride again?
And those people have no soul.
Isn’t it contradictory to say we should be very serious about not taking meditation too seriously? That’s a good point. Oh. It is? Yeah. Let’s go watch The Princess Bride again.
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OUTREACH
QUEER-FRIENDLY HEALTHCARE The Trevor Project............................... 866-488-7386 Suicide Prevention Lifeline...............800-273-8255 Lis’n Crisis Hotline................................ 303-860-1200
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303-477-4000
“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin Seeking therapy can be a daunting experience, from trusting your instincts around whether it feels like the right match, to believing in your own capacity to grow and heal. I am committed to providing a safe and affirming environment to help facilitate the lifechanging work that can occur within a therapeutic relationship. I take as a foundational goal of therapy the cultivation of curiosity into how your mind works, how you relate to your own emotions, and how patterns in your life are obstructing your ability to work, love, create, play, and make meaning. In particular, I specialize in working with members of the LGBTQ community, wherever they may be in their journey toward self-acceptance. Internalized homo/bi/transphobia can be an insidious and often hidden obstacle in forming trusting, healthy relationships. Because we have all received messages throughout our lives that suggest we are defective, perverse, or sick, it’s an understandable consequence that we grow to mistrust our desires and our identities. Consider the impact your own internalized script may be playing in your life. Can you imagine a different way? Sincerely, Brian Ngo-Smith, LCSW
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Photos By Charles Broshous
The 45th Coronation of The Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire
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ASK а SLUT:
THE DENVER CYCLE SLUTS WEIGH IN ON CANNABIS
T
hey’re back! After a short hiatus from the pages of OUT FRONT, the Denver Cycle Sluts are back to answer your questions and offer advice on how to navigate Denver’s queer scene.
HEY SLUTS, WHERE IS A GOOD PLACE TO SPEND 420?
Just in time for 420, the Cycle sluts have generously answered a few questions about the magical plant of cannabis. While some of them embrace the plant, others have a very different opinion on it—we’re looking at you Cookie and Zoey.
Cookie: Anywhere but downtown or Boulder.
This advice column is not for the faint of of heart, as the Sluts have very strong opinions.
HEY SLUTS, I AM NEW TO TRYING POT. SHOULD I START WITH EDIBLES OR SHOULD GO OLD FASHION AND SMOKE IT? Kay: I prefer the cream, and rub it all over. Cookie: Go old fashioned. There is nothing like holding onto that big fatty and sealing it with your tongue. Licking its length and then finishing it off while putting the whole thing in your mouth. (Did I just roll a joint or give head?) Zoey: Go for the edibles; this way you don’t stink like a hippie from the 70s. Jack-Lynn: Brownies are not good once they are burnt. Cherri: I suck on everything, so I would say old school. Or lollipop.
HEY SLUTS, I HAVE NEIGHBORS THAT JUST MOVED HERE FROM A STATE WHERE CANNABIS IS NOT LEGAL. WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THEM? Kay: Go on the Coors tour. Cookie: Why didn't they move to California? Zoey: Bring them to our Charity Bingo every second Friday for cocktails and laughs. Jack-Lynn: Lock them in the basement with nothing else to consume except the cannabis; then they will be converted. Cherri: Get them high and tell them the cops are at the door.
Kay:For a free contact high—somewhere near Civic Center Park. For Sanity—as far away from Civic Center Park as possible.
Zoey: At the dollar store. You can get four beautiful things and pay the taxes. Jack-Lynn: One good night with the sluts will cost you about that much, and all the money goes to charity. Cherri: In the mountains watching a cloud rise from downtown Denver.
HEY SLUTS, WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR PEOPLE WHO SMOKE TOO MUCH POT? Kay:Put down the bong slowly and step away from it. You are getting broke and fat. Cookie: Going through life high and stupid is not a goal one should achieve. Zoey: Take a long shower, and then spray yourself with febreze. Jack-Lynn: Smoking as a general rule is bad for you. Mix up some brownies and consume it; be careful not to burn them (see answer to question one). Cherri:Don’t forget to share.
HEY SLUTS, WHY IS POT SUCH A BIG DEAL? Kay: Is it? Is it really? Cookie: It's not, unless you are a jerk about. Not everyone wants to smell that you are high. Eat a cookie! Zoey: It isn't. Jack-Lynn: In Colorado right now the prices for housing are sky high; many people do not have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Watch out for pedestrians. Cherri: Nevermind pot; this is Colorado; it's everywhere; I just need a lighter. OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM
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