July 7, 2016 :: Faces of Pride

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+ Tragedy in

Orlando //

CO Muslims ’

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darity

Faces of Pride

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CONTENTS JULY 06, 2016 VOL40 NO06

31 06 AT LEAST 49 DEAD IN MASS SHOOTING AT FLORIDA GAY CLUB 07 FROM THE INBOX 14 BLEEDING HEARTS: BEING LGBT AND DONATING BLOOD 16 THE DENVER PRINCIPLES: PAYING PRIDE FORWARD

62

20 THE AFTERMATH OF ORLANDO: A FEW POSITIVES THAT CAME FROM TRAGEDY

08

24 STAND BY ME: THE FORGOTTEN HISTORY OF GAY LIBERATION 26 9 NEW LGBT BOOKS TO KEEP YOUR SUMMER READING LIST LIT 32 HUNTERS VS. GLEANERS: KNOW YOUR DATING STRENGTHS 36 PRIDE IN COLORADO SPRINGS 52 HEINZESIGHT 56 CONSENT CONSENSUS 60 MASTERING MASTURBATION 66 ASK A SLUT

46 ON THE COVER

Photography by Nikki Kushner. Photo Compliation by Trisha Himmler.

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5 DAY CAMPOUT AT MEDICINE BOW NATIONAL FOREST

WWW.WYOPRIDE.ORG

O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 5

AT LEAST 49 DEAD IN MASS SHOOTING AT FLORIDA GAY CLUB

Shooter Omar S. Mateen who was killed by Orlando Police after the shooting and three-hour hostage situation around 5am. Sources say Mateen was “well prepared,” armed with an “assault-style rifle, a handgun, and possibly an explosive device.”

Reporters spoke with Orlando Police Chief John Mina, who confirmed that there were at least 100 patrons inside the club when the gunman, who was not from the Orlando area, opened fire.

The shooting began inside the club, and continued outside when an officer working at Pulse attempted to confront him. The gunman then ran back into the club, resumed shooting, and took hostages.

At 5am, police attempted a rescue, detonating two explosives to distract the gunman and clear the club.

With that advantage, nine officers moved into the club to confront the gunman. In the ensuing shootout, one of the officers was slightly wounded, saved by his Kevlar helmet.

“We rescued about 30 people,” Chief Mina said.

During the rescue and shootout, officers with the

SWAT team — using an armored vehicle — entered the club and hurried people to safety. Many of them sought shelter in other sections of the sprawling club.

Mateen’s father told NBC News, “This has nothing to do with religion.” Mir Seddique his son got angry when he saw two men kissing in Miami a couple of months ago and thinks that may be related to the shooting.

“We are saying we are apologizing for the whole incident. We weren’t aware of any action he is taking. We are in shock like the whole country,” Seddique said.

Mateen had a firearm license and he received a security officer license in both 2011 and 2013, according to NPR. Their records search did not turn up any criminal record.

A US ATTORNEY HAS PLANS TO BRING evidence against Orlando nightclub shooter Omar Mateen’s wife, Noor Salman, to determine whether to bring charges against her. More evidence is needed to present to a grand jury, so it could take time.

WHAT EXACTLY DID THE SHOOTER’S WIFE KNOW? Berlin Sylvestre 6 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

Ryan Howe

So far, California-born Salman, 30, has admitted to investigators that she knew of plans to commit an attack, but didn’t know specifics. She initially said she didn’t know he was going to carry out the attack when he left the house Saturday, but backtracked in a subsequent interview, saying she had her suspicions it would happen at Pulse after he left.

She told investigators that she knew “for awhile” that Mateen was going to commit a violent act, stating he’d been talking about it for months, perhaps years.

She never once notified police.

It’s still speculated which charges could be pending against her but, depending on her level of complicity, they could include the intentional concealing of knowledge of a felony, aiding and abetting a crime, and/or conspiracy to commit an act of terrorism.

Salman has a 3-year-old son from her 2011 marriage with Mateen.

This is a developing story. More as news it’s reported.

PHOTO // JOE JERVIS

AT LEAST 49 PEOPLE ARE DEAD AND ANOTHER 53 have been wounded at Pulse, a popular LGBT club in Orlando, FL after a gunman opened fire at the club just after 2am. Reports indicate this is the deadliest mass shooting in US history.

FROM THE INBOX I WANTED TO COMMENT ON CHRIS ARNESON’S COLUMN ON THE CLUB scene. I find the subject highly interesting as clubs in the gay culture have always been a major social cornerstone and safe haven for the GLBT communities in our nation. I think in the last 10 to 15 years, 30 or so clubs have closed or changed names, and a marginal amount [have] moved in Denver.

The article did mention existing clubs that had remodeled and/or were moving. I was wondering why Lipstick Denver was omitted. They are an amazing club in their new location since 12/31/15.

I was concerned with the two lines “The Wrangler’s moving.

So it’s not gone yet.” At first glance, I thought you meant “yet” meaning permanently. But I am guessing he was referring to the 1700 Logan location. (It sort of made me think you knew something we did not know.) But I am sure Chris is like me and the rest of the community that we hope Wrangler will be around for at least another 20 years and hope they can grow stronger in the RiNO district. We do know that Kiva, Swallows, Eden, and Tracks’ first drag shows started in that same location.

I hope the neighborhood and crowds can safely and quietly intermix in the new location.

That is my two cents’ worth.

YOURS TRULY, WILL SMITH O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 7

COLORADO MUSLIMS WANT YOU TO KNOW: “SUCH PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK IN THE NAME OF ISLAM” “MAY I HELP YOU?” THE YOUNG WOMAN WITH SOFT eyes and beautiful brown skin asked me in the sweltering parking lot, neck craning to look at me from behind my car. I was in the front seat, intently watching people walk into the mosque — namely the women in headscarves. I had no such thing, and I’d been cursing myself for the past few minutes that I didn’t even think of that before coming.

Once the room began filling, however, quizzical children pointed and whispered to one another; a group of teenagers sat themselves and fiddled with their phones, exchanging glances over their shoulder at me; one man asked politely what brought me there.

Once he learned my mission, he bade me welcome in a reassuring tone and shuffled off quietly.

“Hi, yeah,” I smiled as I let my window all the way down. “Can I get in without covering my hair?” She asked what I was there for (“Press conference.”) and surmised that it’d probably be ok for me to enter as I was. Then she went back to her car and returned a moment later with an extra hijab for me … in case I wanted one.

This day was a strange one for all involved.

Embarrassed, I stepped out and showed her my shorts. She didn’t think I would be too much of a problem, being that I’m with the press, but she insisted we try and see. I held the garment carefully — this was a gift — and felt an instant kinship with a woman I’d known for no more than a minute.

“You’re with me,” she said.

There are roughly 125,000 Muslims in the state of Colorado, and I just had an amazing introduction to their world. She was Alexandria Batiste, 25, a Metro State student and, on that day, an unofficial —but wholly gracious — ambassador of her faith.

Once inside the area designated for the conference, we took our shoes off.

“Not everyone will want to talk to you,” she warned me softly.

“Especially the older ones.” She said what I’ve heard from other communities: The press doesn’t have the best reputation, and our presence is often dubious.

I told her I’m here to capture the grief we both feel — nothing more. She seemed pleased to hear that, and left me be.

I was early, and the few people there didn’t seem to notice me.

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I sipped from my water bottle, then recoiled in shame. This is Ramadan! How could you partake of water when everyone here is fasting and just as parched as you are?

I slipped the canister back into my bag and tried to put the thirst behind me.

Before too long, the proceedings were underway. The session began with a prayer in song. Heads bowed, everyone was silent during the beautiful and haunting ululation that, in English, translates: “The Almighty God is calling upon all of us in spite of our differences, our different ethnic backgrounds, our cultures, our colors. He’s calling upon us saying all of mankind was created from one male and one female, in reference to Adam and Eve, peace be upon them. Then we turned you into tribes and nations. Now the challenge is getting to know one another. And be mindful: Allah

Berlin Sylvestre

LEGAL DIRECTORY

DO YOU REALLY NEED A WILL?

process must be managed by an adult, which should also be designated in a will.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR PETS?

You’ve likely heard the advice about the importance of having a will. To help figure out if a will is right for you, here are five things to keep in mind.

WHO WILL GET YOUR STUFF?

The most common and simple reason to make a will is to decide who will get your property.

Without a will, state laws determine how your property will be distributed.

WHO WILL HANDLE THINGS?

You can use a will to name an executor — someone you trust who will take care of all your final affairs and wishes. Without a will, a court will appoint someone to do the job.

WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THE KIDDOS?

A will is the only place to designate a guardian to care for your children. Without a will, a court will decide who will be their caretaker.

Moreover, if you leave property to children, the

Use a will to name a trusted caretaker for your pet(s). You can also leave money to that person to help them with pet-care expenses. Using a will isn’t your only option, but it’s surely the simplest.

WHAT’S YOUR BACKUP PLAN?

Maybe you have a living trust or perhaps don’t have children or pets that need guardians.

It’s still a good idea to have a backup will — a catch-all for any property that isn’t taken care of by a living trust or other estate-planning instrument.

Not everyone needs a will, but having one isn’t a bad idea. Your best bet is to consult with an attorney to determine (if any) what your end-of-life planning options should include.

REMEMBER, IF YOU DON’T DECLARE YOUR FINAL WISHES, THE STATE WILL DO IT FOR YOU.

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The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 9

is all-knowing. He sees what we do. He hears what we say. He will hold us accountable in the Day of Judgment.”

The final notes rang in the air, and I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t break out into chills. The sound was in equal parts reverent and otherworldly.

“With a few text messages and a couple of calls, we have virtually the entire Muslim community from the state of Colorado here to stand in support of the community,” said Qusair Mohamedbhai, general counsel to the Colorado Muslim Society. “This level of participation and unity has never been seen, I can safely say, in Colorado.”

Scanning the room yielded men and women of all colors and ages donning hijabs, kufis (hats some of the men were wearing), abayas (robes). The scent of oils and incense permeated the air, and news crews scattered throughout the room were a curious sight for worshipers. There was an overt presence of cops, some with their shoes off, some who wore shoe covers instead. They stood around the perimeter and silently people-watched. Turns out, they were there not for security, per se; they were there in solidarity.

“Sadly, we are experiencing a historic day that nobody wants to experience,” said Aurora Police Department’s Chief Nick Metz. “Our hearts go out to the victims, the victims’ families, and all those who are impacted by what happened in Orlando.” People nodded.

“For us in Aurora, this hits pretty close to home, as we are quickly approaching the four-year anniversary of our own mass shooting at the Aurora Theater. I think it’s really important that we think about what terrorism is and what terrorism is not. Terrorism is not just about the incident itself. It plays a big part, of course — it shocks the conscience. But terrorism is also about the future impacts, about creating fear, creating divisiveness, creating hatred.”

“One thing I want to assure the community, both Muslims and non-Muslims, is that Islam believes in all prophets, from Adam, Noah, Abraham, Jesus, and Mohammed,” said Imam Shafi of the Colorado Muslim Society. “Islam is opposed to violence. Islam promotes dialogue — not violence. Islam does not allow us to kill anybody. I want to assure you of your 1 0 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

safety. We reject what happened in Florida.”

“We’re not two days away from [burying Muhammed Ali],” reminded Imam Shamsuddeen Bin Masoud of the Metropolitan Denver North Islamic Center. “That’s who represents the Muslim-American community — not the terrorist coward who took innocent lives. Ali stood for justice, peace, love, and love of humanity.

All humanity. The reason why he promoted [them] is because that’s what Islam stands for. We should not forget that here today. The best way to honor his memory, and those of the victims, is to stand united.”

Amal “The Poet” Kassir, an award-winning, spokenword artist offered her mind. She said: “Something that happens in response to these tragedies is oftentimes, when the word Muslim is introduced, we have to compromise that initial opportunity to mourn with a reaction.” She paused to let it sink in. “We are obligated to respond to this, rather than acknowledge the pain of the reality that this type of violence brings our country.”

This is a disassociation. This does not represent our religion. This does not represent our ideology. This does not represent our community.”

More solemnly, she informed: “Between the hours of [2–5am], this situation burst into its height of hostage and massacre. And during this time, our brothers and sisters on the East Coast were praying their night prayers … they were eating breakfast to prepare for 18 hours of long fasting. Now this man who came with a gun, who calls himself a Muslim, he wouldn’t have eaten suhoor. He wouldn’t have eaten that breakfast with us which possibly means he didn’t have the intentions to fast with us. This is a disassociation. This does not represent our religion. This does not represent our ideology. This does not represent our community.”

She pleaded: “May we bury the guns like we bury our children.”

That’s right, I thought. Omar Mateen did this during Ramadan.

When I was called upon by Qusair, I asked, “Do you

think the fact that he carried out these attacks during the holy month of Ramadan, when negative emotions are to be put away, shows that he wasn’t Muslim? Is the press wrong to call him Muslim?”

The Imam from the Rocky Mountain Islamic Center volunteered a response: “When God prescribed fasting upon Muslims, He followed up with a reason why. ‘So you may achieve righteousness.’ Muslims’ behaviors are supposed to be more aligned with the teachings of Islam. Such acts in the time of fasting shows a clear contradiction. The person who did such an act did not really take the fruit of fasting, which is achieving righteousness,” he says.

“One of the biggest sins in Islam is to take a human life. The Prophet, peace be upon Him, actually said — talking not about Muslims, but non-Muslims — ‘Whoever takes a life of a non-Muslim who is given the promise of peace and security by Muslims, I will be the one who will prosecute him before God on the Day of Judgment.’ He assigned that job to Himself to assure that such people do not speak in the name of Islam. There’s definitely a clear contradiction with righteousness.”

Moments later, Amal came by, big green eyes flashing beneath the rim of her hijab, and placed a few water bottles on my table. I turned to the woman standing next to me and asked her, in a whisper, if drinking this would be seen as disrespectful ultimately.

“No,” she assured, drawing the word out. She offered her palms and waved them upward at me, insisting I imbibe. Though thankful, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. The room was hot by this point. Her expression and tone, however, put me at ease. “You are a guest. Please.”

THANK YOU TO OUR COMMUNITY FOR A SAFE AND SUCCESSFUL DENVER PRIDEFEST CELBRATION. THANK YOU FOR HELPING US BUILD COMMUNITY THROUGH PRIDE. #WEAREORLANDO

“In this holy month of Ramadan, we’re particularly saddened and want to express our heartfelt condolences to the families of the victims and to the American people,” said Imam Abdur-Rahim Ali of the Northeast Denver Muslim Center. “We hope that The Almighty eases the suffering of us all and that He unites us as Americans.”

“This is a spiritual month for us, so this is just as shocking to the Muslim community, believe you me,” said Imam Shamsuddeen.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 11

Imam Karim Abuzaid was quick to offer his insight.

“Is this behavior that is accepted by God in the month of Ramadan? I was in Detroit last night. I flew in early this morning, and I started watching the initial pictures of that shooting while I was in the airport.

When I saw there was a shooting in a nightclub at night, immediately I put my heart to rest. I said, ‘All praise be to God that this is not a Muslim.’ Because there is no way a Muslim can be in that place at that time in the month of Ramadan to kill. Impossible!”

The audience echoed his sentiment. “Impossible.

There is no way, no way this person is a Muslim.

So I got on the airplane and I slept. And I woke up, and I am walking through the Denver airport, and everybody is looking at me! I thought, ‘What happened?’ And then I received a phone call.” He looked heartsick. “This is what we’re going through.

We’re suffering. We’re really going through a hard time, like you. This is not us. Simply.”

He then recited a passage from the Holy Qu’ran: “‘Whoever does not leave off acting falsehood and speaking falsehood — we’re talking about lying, cheating, back-biting, gossiping — then Allah does not want him, doesn’t need him to give up his food or wood. He can go and drink and eat.’”

He said, “Islam is about rituals and character at the same time.”

Then, he apologized about being so emotional, citing sleeplessness, but not a single soul in the house could blame him. Ill-rested or not, these are trying times for both the LGBT and the Muslim communities.

A real sense of sadness overcame me as I observed the faces of the Imams. These people have to remind others that they’re not terrorists every time something like this comes up. I asked about the Islamic State earlier in the afternoon, when I first learned they were taking credit for the act, and a young woman rolled her eyes, stating that it’s always on the Muslim community to clean up after those guys. “We’re regular people. They’re terrorists.”

“If ISIS was here, they’d cut our tongues out,” a Muslim gentleman who wished to remain anonymous told me. “We do not approve of one another. At all.”

“Every time something dumb and tragic happens, I 1 2 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

hope and pray it’s not a Muslim,” Rahim Khan said after the press conference.

“The confusion between Muslims and ISIS is something we’re trying to combat. We’re not them, and they’re not us.”

“It shouldn’t be lost upon us that the two communities most impacted are two communities that are most often targets of hate; communities that are often unjustly judged; c o m mu n i t i e s t h at are cruelly vilified in social media and other entities,” said Chief Metz. “There are some political and religious pundits who are, frankly, having a field day with what happened in an effort to create further divide in our community and our society. I think it’s important that we don’t allow the diabolical monster who took so many lives and destroyed thousands of [others] last night to continue to create fear, create hatred, created divide. We are much better than that.”

“We should reach out and see what we can learn from all this,” Rahim said. “This should be a time when our communities build bridges.”

Says Qusair concerning going foward with Denver Pride: “We ask you to celebrate, celebrate, celebrate.”

I believe all these requests can come to fruition.

ColoradoMuslimSociety.org

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 13

BLEEDING HEARTS: BEING LGBT AND DONATING BLOOD ON MY WAY TO WORK ONE SUNDAY MORNING OF LAST month, I was stunned to hear the tragic news about the Orlando shooting that left close to 50 innocent people dead at a popular gay bar.

I was even more shocked later that day when I saw photos of long lines of people waiting at blood centers to donate for the victims.

I had never seen anything like it, and it was extremely emotional to watch.

As a pharmacy resident, I spent some time working in a busy emergency department. I helped treat victims of car accidents, stabbings, and — of course — shootings. I’ve watched blood transfusions save patients’ lives, and I applaud all of the caring people who donated this past week for those in need in Orlando.

However, there is a sad irony in this story. Sexually active gay and bisexual men in the United States are still ineligible to donate blood. Next to discussions on gun control and terrorism, this heartbreaking event has also started a new conversation about our country’s blood-donation practices.

Blood transfusions are not as benign as you may think. Even if your donation correctly matches your blood type, recipients can develop rare but serious complications including allergic reactions or even hemolytic anemia, a condition where your body begins to eat up too much of your healthy red blood cells. However, there is another risk that relates directly to the LGBT community: disease transmission.

When the HIV epidemic hit in the LGBT population in the 1980s, it was soon discovered that patients were getting infected from HIV-contaminated blood products. Still, uniform testing of donated blood was not required until 1988. Sadly, it was too late.

According to a 2006 article by Dr. Bruce Evatt, a hematologist with the CDC, half of our nation’s hemophiliacs were infected by HIV-contaminated blood between 1981 and 1984. As a result, contaminated blood products became one of our nation’s worst pharmaceutical disasters.

In 1992, the FDA responded by requiring men who have sex with men (MSM) to be excluded from donating blood. If you were male and had sex with a man at least once in your life after 1977, you 1 4 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

were considered high risk for contaminating the blood supply and were permanently excluded from donating.

Currently, every unit of blood is quarantined and tested for markers of several infectious diseases, from HIV to Hepatitis B to West Nile Virus. When Dr. Shimian Zou and his colleagues researched American Red Cross blood donation testing in 2008, they found that about 1 in every 36,000 donations tested positive for HIV and were subsequently destroyed. With our current safeguards, they concluded that an HIV-contaminated blood donation had less than a 1 in 1 million chance of making it to a recipient.

Thankfully, Zou’s data suggested that HIV transmission through blood donation is incredibly rare. However, recent cases show that disease transmission from contaminated blood products still occurs.

In 2008, the CDC published a case of a Missouri man who donated blood but did not disclose his sexual encounters with other men when asked about his sexual history. This donor ended up being HIV+, but his viral load was too low to detect at that time. A Colorado patient later became HIV positive after receiving the man’s blood products during a transplant surgery.

Despite this important case, the FDA changed their recommendations in 2015 to allow MSM to donate blood if they had no sexual contact with another man within the past 12 months.

Although the FDA’s step was in the right direction, this still excludes many — if not the majority — of gay and bisexual men, including many HIV-negative men who are in longstanding monogamous relationships.

Stephen Small, PharmD

Donating blood has become one of the most significant ethical challenges I’ve faced since starting my career in healthcare. There have been many instances where I wanted to donate blood in the hope that it could save someone’s life, but the ban has left me with two options.

The first option is to lie about my sexual orientation when asked by blood center staff. I do not advocate that our readers do this, mind you. History has shown that contaminated donations do fall through the cracks, and the consequences could be dire. In addition, I spent enough of my youth lying about my sexual orientation, and I am not starting that habit again.

Now, the shooting in Orlando has sparked a reexamination of our current blood-donation exclusions. One proposal I advocate is to more accurately exclude donors based on more specific HIV risk factors rather than utilizing the somewhat blanket criteria we use now. We already utilize a similar system using specific risk factors to identify patients who are appropriate for PrEP. With such a system, we could allow people with minimal HIV risk factors to donate while still attempting to protect our blood supply. This is just one of many options that could be discussed by our nation’s leaders and representatives.

Our second option is to urge our eligible friends to donate their blood. I was incredibly moved when I heard that many eligible donors were not only donating blood for the victims, they were also donating on behalf of their ineligible friends in the LGBT community.

The compassion and humanity displayed by these donors helped us triumph on a day shaken by hate.

It replaced my anger with pride, and it showed the enormous power we have when we collaborate together through times of adversity.

If you are eligible to donate blood, I urge you to do so, even when we are not in the immediate aftermath of a tragedy. If, like me, you are ineligible to donate, urge others to do so. In the meantime, know that this event has started a complex national conversation on so many important topics, from blood donations to modern gun control. The most important thing is that we think of the victims and their families during these discussions with the hope that we can prevent a similar tragedy from happening again.

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THE DENVER PRINCIPLES: PAYING PRIDE FORWARD FIRST DAY OF SUMMER, I SIT ON MY BALCONY AT 4:30AM, the city as quiet as it gets, the 40th PrideFest a mental movie of a softer celebration: the infinite variety of happy people, parade floats, hot Latin music, doggies, riots of rainbow gear, Butt Lotion, HIV/AIDS booths. I think about Orlando, leaping to the word “principles.” Specifically, The Denver Principles.

I first heard of the declaration in 2009 when I joined HIV 1 on 1, a group dedicated to HIV/AIDS-awareness training, stigma eradication, and empowering selfsupport. Denver City & County Program Manager of HIV Resources Anthony Stamper contracted Cicatelli Associates Inc. to guide Colorado’s adoption of their proven curricula. Since 1985, the New York-based organization offers training in HIV/ AIDS counseling. Its talented instructors laid the foundation of their program with the first slide: The Denver Principles.

In 1983, Denver hosted the 2nd National AIDS Forum at the 5th National Lesbian and Gay Health Conference. According to POZ Magazine, for the first time in history, people who shared a disease defined themselves, strategized politically, and asserted their collective rights “to die — and to LIVE — with dignity.” The culminating manifesto outlined rights and responsibilities for people with the disease and provided recommendations to healthcare professionals, family, and friends.

Wikipedia tells of “the drafters [who] stormed the closing of the conference in order to present their work,” a presentation bringing the audience to tears, unable to compose itself for ten minutes. The Denver Principles — 17 statements, 457 words — changed the course of a pandemic and worldwide healthcare forever.

A few of the names of those committed Americans and organizations? Bobbi Campbell, Dan Turner, Dr. Michael Conant, People with AIDS, Alan Long, 1 6 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

Matthew Sarner, Michael Callen, Griffin Gold, Richard Berkowitz, Dr. Joseph Sonnabend, Larry Kramer, Gay Men’s Health Crisis, Hal Kooden, Virginia Apuzzo, Dr. Roger Enlow, ACT UP. Descendents of T he Denver P r i nc iples i nc lude t he World Health Organization’s 1986 Ottawa Charter for Health Promotion, the 1994 UNAIDS Paris Declaration signed by 42 countries, the 2008 Me x i c o M a n i f e s t o.

In 2009, the National Association of People w ith A IDS and POZ Magazine announced The Denver Principles Project, an initiative to recommit to the HIV community. Around 2011, POZ founder Sean Strub planned The Denver Principles Empowerment Index that will hold AIDS groups accountable to the people they serve.

Rick Kitzman

The outpouring of love for Orlando at PrideFest was pride paid forward, a further testament of Denver’s compassionate, local citizenry, and what The Denver Principles courageously declared 33 years ago by its compassionate, national citizenry.

“Principles.” In the aftermath of the Orlando bloodbath, what were the principles of the egotistical Republican presidential contender who congratulated himself for his terrorist predictions?

Or the former female vice-presidential candidate and current shrill voice of intolerance who condemned the president for pursuing gun control?

Or the patriotic Camp Pendleton Marines who posted a uniformed corporal holding an assault rifle and the message, “Coming to a gay bar near you”?

Or the Texas Lt. Governor who, hours after the tragedy, tweeted Galatians 6:7 — “Man reaps what

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 17

he sows, and those who please his flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction” — a Christian’s moral justification for the extermination of same-sex lovers?

We decide. We judge their principles and whether or not we agree with them.

Everyday, everyone chooses the moral compass that creates their reality.

What were the principles of those who laid flowers, donated blood and money, added their voice to rallying cries denouncing violence and pleading for peace, claimed #WeAreOrlando, cried?

Critics judged these actions as ineffective responses to national threats. Inadequate perhaps, but they infused compassion into a city crushed 1 8 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

by grief and defeated the derisive responses of egotists, idiots, jokesters, and phony Christians. I judge their self-serving contempt an ineffective response to the gun debate, just one issue threatening America’s identity.

The outpouring of love for Orlando at PrideFest was pride paid forward, a further testament of Denver’s compassionate, loca l cit i zen r y, and what The Denver Principles courageously declared 33 years ago by its compassionate, national citizenry. #WeAreOrlando. Exactly!

Love, compassion, and courage will create a better world. I choose these principles for my moral compass.

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PERSPECTIVES

THE AFTERMATH OF ORLANDO: A FEW POSITIVES THAT CAME FROM TRAGEDY

IT LIT A FIRE UNDER OUR ASSES TO PURSUE MORE AGGRESSIVE GUN CONTROL MEASURES Every time a notable mass shooting takes place, social media erupts in a spectacular mushroom cloud of pro- and anti-gun rhetoric from both sides of the political fence. For days after the Orlando killings, your friends and family weighed in with their opinions on gun control, primarily focused on the infringement of Second Amendment rights, more stringent background checks, banning military-style weapons altogether, and how to keep guns out of the hands of those who are already suspected terrorists.

IT HUMANIZED US TO SOME OF THOSE WHO PREVIOUSLY DEMONIZED US While those ridiculous, radical Baptist pastors of the Internet were foaming at the mouth at the thought of our slaughter, the early-morning events of June 12 gave people we didn’t think were our allies, who opposed our “lifestyle,” or were otherwise indifferent to our plight cause for pause. I can’t promise you that those who previously demonized us or disagreed with our sexual orientation have done a complete 180, but I can tell you, at least in my personal experience, that hearing about sons, daughters, mothers, brothers, and sisters being hunted down like animals simply because they’re LGBT or our supporters did serve to humanized us to some of those who didn’t quite understand us.

OUR COMMUNITIES CAME TOGETHER TO SUPPORT OUR OWN There’s arguably been no other single tragedy that has devastated us so much as this one, which is why it was comforting to see, in the aftermath of Orlando, that the title of “LGBT community” lived up to what that’s supposed to mean.

In my area of New York City and the Jersey Shore, candlelight vigils were hosted hours after news of 2 0 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

the killings broke; fundraisers and benefits were underway; and our bars and clubs were open for business, serving as safe havens — as they always have been — to convene and mourn with “family.”

Mikey Rox

OUR ALLIES CAME OUT IN FULL FORCE TO SUPPORT US Along with our LGBT brothers and sisters, our straight allies were right beside us mourning death and celebrating life as each passing day exposed new information and greater pain. That support was most visible on social media, through messages of condolence and the alteration of profile photos to signify that they stand with us.

WE FINALLY TOLD THE WORLD WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT – ANYMORE If the Orlando tragedy did anything for our community, it made us mad. So mad that we’re not going to take it — anymore. We’re not taking anymore guff or discrimination or bullying or conversation therapy or religious domination from anybody, ever again.

Enough is enough. Forty-nine of us were mowed down for being who we are, and that isn’t and never will be acceptable. We must always remember that, and you must always keep being you. Stay loud, stay proud, and stay vigilant. The Pulse victims did not die in vain, and it’s our duty now to prove that until we live in a society where we’re treated as equals and no less.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

PHOTO // KAREN OCAMB

IT’S BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE A TERRORISTIC MADMAN massacred 49 innocent partygoers in cold blood and injured 53 others at Pulse nightclub in Orlando. And though the pain of the largest mass shooting in US history is still fresh for many of us, some of the smoke has cleared, giving way to reflection time.

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THE COMING OUT GROUP: HOW A DISCREET DENVER MEETUP SPREAD GAY LIBERATION THE STORY OF THE DENVER COMING OUT GROUP ISN’T widely known, which is strange since between 1976 and 2014, an estimated 8000 men and women attended, having frank discussions with each other about gay life and identities. We often celebrate the big political milestones in queer history — and these are meaningful — but the process of liberation, of coming out, is slower, sometimes stretching over years or even decades for an individual. Just ask Don McMaster.

In 1975, Don was just beginning his job as a Catholic schoolteacher in Lakewood. Closeted for obvious reasons, he felt isolated and despairing. “I was acting out in ways that I wasn’t pleased with,” he says. “I thought, ‘I’m going to do myself in.’”

Then he found the Gay Coalition’s hotline. Craig Henderson, the President of the Coalition, invited him to meet over coffee.

“Craig just listened,” Don says. “Then he introduced me to his people and his boyfriend. They weren’t all drag queens or leather people. It helped me realize that there were other options for me.”

church, discussing a six-week cycle of topics such as religion, the law, desire, and being out at work.

“Our primary goal was for people to feel respected,” Don explains. “To give people a chance to see themselves as more than society told them they were.”

As Don co-led the group over decades, however, he became more aware of his life’s central irony. He was leading a coming-out class but, as a Catholic school teacher, unable to come out himself. In fact, the only reason Don can share his story now is because he has retired and is receiving his pension.

“I was acting out in ways that I wasn’t pleased with,” he says. “I thought, ‘I’m going to do myself in.’”

Then he found the Gay Coalition’s hotline.

“I was very discreet and followed all the rules. I knew I’d lose everything if I didn’t. Of course, I did sing in the Gay Men’s Chorus, but I always figured if someone from the school showed up to one of our concerts, we would be mutually incriminated.”

“Our original idea was a series of classes that would lead to a gay diploma,” says Don, “but on our first meeting on May 3, 1976, none of the 30 people who showed up wanted a gay diploma. They wanted to talk, to hear from others, and to understand where they were.”

Throughout the AIDS crisis, the Coming Out Group held space for individuals to share their fears, offer mutual support, and learn the latest medical information. Many of the group members were empowered to found public LGBT organizations, including the Gay Men’s Chorus.

In the mid-aughts, as public acceptance of lesbians and gays expanded, the need for general groups like it gradually ended, but for an entire generation of queer men and women in Denver, the Group was a vital resource. Don says it best:

A self-organizing entity that met for almost 40 years, the Coming Out Group proved to be one of the most enduring under-the-radar non-institutions in Denver.

They would gather as a large group, many of them wearing pseudonymous nametags. As word of mouth spread, the event grew exponentially — three, five, and then seven small groups met throughout the

“It made me a more empathetic person. You know, when I was going through my own drama back in the 70s, you somehow feel that you are the only one, that you are weird or unique, that something is wrong with you. Sitting with those guys over 29 years really wore the edge off that real fast. Our lives are not nearly as unique as we think they are.”

Once Don had found a place in a new social circle, he and Craig wondered: What if they hosted a coming out class for other Denver gay people who were suffering alone in the closet?

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Paul Bindel

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BOOK REVIEW

STAND BY ME: THE FORGOTTEN HISTORY OF GAY LIBERATION YOU HAD NO IDEA. How could you know? No one ever told you, nobody sat you down to explain what was what. You were blissfully unaware, kept in the dark for far too long, but read Stand by Me: The Forgotten History of Gay Liberation by Jim Downs, and you may see the light on a few things.

Years ago, when he was a college student, Downs spent evenings with his best friend in a back room in the William Way Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center in Philadelphia, poring through archives. Then, he had no idea of the value of the old newspapers and articles he’d found but after seeing a documentary on the 1970s and AIDS, he suddenly understood.

Bothered by conclusions drawn in the movie — specifically what he felt was a focus on promiscuous sex — he returned to the archives. It was there that he saw how much of LGBT history is unknown or misunderstood. His research led to this book.

One of the more shocking things he discovered was “the largest massacre of gay people in American history.”

It happened on June 23, 1973 in New Orleans: A group of 120 gay, lesbian, and straight worshippers were holding a church service on a Sunday night on the second floor of a building in the French Quarter.

They were members of the Metropolitan Community Church, which had been established so that LGBT individuals had a safe, inclusive place to worship.

On that night, they were raising their voices in song when a still-unknown person threw flammable liquid on the stairs, trapping the congregation. Thirty-two people died that night.

Downs writes of a New Yorker with a “vision” of a bookstore-slash-gathering-place for “homophiles” to mingle and share ideas, rather than their bodies.

He explains how a soon-to-be-famous writer was relentless in his search for gay history in Nazi Germany. He examines how activism and gay politics 2 4 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

spurred the creation of gay newspapers, and how LGBT publications affected “people of color” and domestic workers. Coming full-circle, he shows how Terri gay churches and newspapers supported gay men Schlichenmeyer in prison.

In any history, there’ll always be surprises, facts, and tales that are forgotten or ignored u nt i l someone finds and reveals them anew.

And that’s exactly what author Jim Downs has done here in Stand by Me. Starting with upset over what he perceived to be a simplistic premise for a documentary, Downs moves on to a story that was largely ignored by nationwide n e ws outlets, then to activists and beginnings of an LGBT press. His narrative encompasses the years roughly prior to Stonewall through about the late 1970s, and it includes a number of coincidental connections that are nicely revealed. This book is informative, sometimes horrifying, interesting, and, unlike your old highschool history books, it’s never dry.

Older LGBT readers may not see anything new or shocking here, but younger gay men and lesbians will truly find some eye-openers. If you don’t know what you don’t know, Stand by Me will give you some ideas.

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Mikey Rox

9 New LGBT Books to Keep Your Summer Reading List Lit Summer is just starting to heat up — literally! — and it’s time to hit the beach. Throw down a towel, pop open the umbrella, and sink into the sand with these LGBT-themed recreational reads that’ll keep you entertained all season long.

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The Pink Marine // Greg Cope White

Gay Mormon Greg Cope White hilariously recounts the summer he haphazardly enlisted in the pre-Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Marine Corps at age 18 and spent a summer in boot camp (because all he heard was “summer” and “camp” when his best friend proposed the idea), an experience that gave the author a sense of belonging and self-worth in the last place he ever expected it.

Here Comes the Sun // Nicole Dennis-Benn

Heralded as one of the best books of the summer

by Marie Claire, Redbook, Elle, Publishers Weekly, and the New York Times, Dennis-Benn’s debut novel exposes the dark corners of womanhood set against the sun-drenched resorts of Jamaica as Margot, taught as a girl to trade her sexuality for survival, commits her life to ensuring that her younger sister Thandi doesn’t suffer the same fate. When plans for a new hotel threaten their village, Margot is forced to confront the many burdens she bears, including her fight for financial independence and her forbidden love for another woman.

Heart in Chains // Elodie Parkes

Relationship-weary Conner, scorned and single, escapes to Indonesia to put the past behind him.

Mysterious Jay Levesque holds secrets of his own as he tries to put a lifetime of dangerous liaisons to rest. Alas, neither of their hesitations are a match for the romance of the exotic island or its erotic summer nights.

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Husu’s honest and emotionally charged memoir shines a flickering light on what it’s like to be a not-soprivileged trans woman in America.

Boy Erased // Garrard Conley

As the LGBT community continues to struggle with religious acceptance in a post-Orlando world, Conley’s memoir about being outed and forced to make a life-changing decision — agree to conversion therapy or be disowned — is even more poignant and important.

Heartbreaking and courageous, Boy Erased will simultaneously enrage you and make your count your blessings.

Gay throuples get their own comeuppance in an all-too-familiar tale of three boyfriends trying to make a ménage à trios work over the long term.

Jury of One //

Charlie Cochrane

A murder in nearby Abbotson thrusts inspector Robin Bright into yet another intricate web of crimes, but there’s something more curious about this case: An old crush of Robin’s lover Adam pops up in the murder investigation, ultimately jeopardizing the happy couple’s relationship in this homo whodunit. Jury of One is the second book of the Lindenshaw Mysteries series.

Knit Tight //

Annabeth Albert

The fourth installment in Albert’s Portland Heat series, which received the April 2016 Seal of Excellence by RT Book Reviews, Knit Tight gets tangled up in the would-be affections of Brady and Evren — a well-liked local barista and charming out-of-towner, respectively — as Brady tries to get the handsome stranger out of the friend zone and into frothier territory.

I Am Woman: Surviving the Past, the Present & the Future // Daliah Husu

Still having trouble making heads or tails of the “T” in LGBT? You’re not alone. Many of our lesbian, gay, and bi brothers and sisters struggle with what it means to be transgender — and how to appropriately address, recognize, and appreciate transgender people — but Husu’s honest and emotionally charged memoir shines a flickering light on her stigmatized world of self-hatred, dependency on men, drug abuse, sex work, and what it’s like to be a not-soprivileged trans woman in America. You can’t understand another person’s experience until you’ve walked in their shoes, as they say, and it’s time to take the first step.

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The Scheme of Things // Tim Parks

Heartbreaking and courageous, Boy Erased will simultaneously enrage you and make your count your blessings.

Henry Dodge does his best to hide what makes him different from the other boys — like his burgeoning lust for his brother’s best friend Danny — by escaping into the TV, movies, and music of the 1980s. As such, his affinity for nighttime soap operas leads him to devise a plan to follow Danny to Los Angeles, unchartered territory for the teen, which has secrets of its own.

Hiatus // L.A. Witt

Gay throuples get their own comeuppance in an all-too-familiar tale of three boyfriends trying to make a ménage à trios work over the long term. But just when it seems like it couldn’t be more idyllic, the trio face a roadblock on the path to triangular happiness when the original couple starts to question their love for one another but each still holds a torch for their rock-star third wheel.

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 29

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HUNTERS VS. GLEANERS: KNOW YOUR DATING STRENGTHS Paul Bindel

PRIDE SEASON IS STILL UPON US — C’MON, it lasts all summer! — which means thousands of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes continue to converge onto our city. Some you will find incredibly attractive, and some of these will even have the hots for you. If you’re not looking to hook up right now, that’s fine. You do you. But for those who are interested in finding a date, what’s your pick-up strategy?

One of my friends laughs and says, “You don’t find a date at Pride; you find yourself with one.” Another scoffs, “Are you kidding? That leaves too much up to chance. I really like to win.” These two responses, I propose, represent two schools of dating — gleaners and hunters — both of which offer you tools to use in the upcoming weekend.

Gleaners are opportunists. Fans of intuition and figuring things out as they go along, they’re likely to meet a new date through mutual friends, and they play the long game, not getting their hopes too set on one option. The gleaner sees the world as abundant, and he’s confident that his relationships will naturally create a context for romance. He won’t force it to happen, but he’ll recognize it when it comes to him.

Meanwhile, hunters are in the now game, leaving nothing to chance.

Hunters are turned on by the thrill of talking to strangers; they crave a challenge as it gives them a chance to prove their competence. Even rejection 3 2 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

can be thrilling, inspiring greater clarity and focus. Most of the hunter’s work lies in the past during preparation — she leverages the books she’s read, the music she’s practiced, or the weights she’s lifted to give her the confidence for this moment or this notch in her belt.

And she usually wins.

It’s worth saying what both hunting and gleaning are not. Hunting is not cat-calling or giving someone unwanted attention or not taking the hint. That’s harassment. Gleaning is not ranting on Facebook about the lack of dating options. That’s self-pity.

Let’s be clear, you don’t have to be one or the other. In fact, you might be more successful if you draw from both. Here are the ways to make the most out of both strategies:

HUNTERS

Read body language. Eyes are not just the window to the soul; they tell you exactly how much someone is interested.

Watch for how someone’s body faces you or turns away when you talk to them.

Stay confident without being cocky: Do your Brene Brown testosterone boosting postures if you must. You thrive when you slice through the mental BS that holds you back. But recognize that most people will want someone who isn’t condescending or into themselves.

Blend in until it’s time to strike. You need to make a good first impression, so wait for the perfect moment.

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Have enough ammo. One-liners are lame. Plan your second and third steps before your first initiation to keep interest high. At the same time, know when to pull back and listen.

GLEANERS

Plant seeds and then harvest. You naturally have lots of options, so ping your top two or three (or 10) in the days before an event to say you hope to see them.

Gauge their responses, and then narrow in on a few when the time gets closer.

Leverage the credibility of friends.

Travel with the pack and work your charm by the energy you get from being around your favorite people.

Ask for an introduction, or mention a mutual friend if you’ve already done the legwork on Facebook.

Know when to clearly indicate your interest. You thrive on reading and giving subtle cues, but sometimes you need to let an interest know your intentions unequivocally. Make a choice, and use your words.

Create the time and space for something to happen. Nothing happens instantly. You love chance and discovering connection in the moment, but improve your odds by giving your interests lead time to build anticipation or make sure you’re available in one place long enough to read and be read by potential matches.

Whatever methods you choose, stay safe and enjoy the experience. Good luck out there!

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PRIDE IN COLORADO SPRINGS Akiva Weinstein

WITH DENVER PRIDEFEST BEHIND US, WE here at OUT FRONT thought it a good idea to cover another up-and-coming Pride parade and festival in case you couldn’t get enough here in Denver.

The one I speak of is none other than Colorado Springs’ Pride Festival, which happens on July 9th and 10th this summer.

I spoke with Chief Innovation Officer at Colorado Springs Convention & Visitors Bureau Amy Long to discuss some things to look forward to and to debunk some of the negative stigma attached to Colorado Springs.

Amy hopes that Colorado Springs PrideFest will keep getting bigger and better as the city grows. Colorado Springs doesn’t have the reputation of an open and welcoming community, but contrary to this assumption is the fact that there is a welcoming community already in place, and as it grows, so too will Colorado Springs PrideFest.

The city-to-the-south is celebrating their 26th Anniversary of Pride this year and their parade kicks off on July 10th at 11am. Amy stated that it would be a shame to miss, because in Colorado Springs, “there is always a lot going on with outdoor adventure, whether that be a hike, a walk downtown … even if you just spend time in the park itself.”

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Amy is an ally of the LGBT community, and we discussed how, when working in the public sector, she gets to see the strides Colorado Springs has made in its efforts to be inclusive. These leaps and bounds have made her an ally and advocate who plans to bring this energy to the table by making Colorado Springs the most welcoming and enjoyable place for the LGBT community. One of the steps the city has taken was repurposing a public-school bathroom into a gender-neutral bathroom in one of the biggest schools in the city. The step was well received by both the city, in which officials supported the move, and by the members of the school. There was even a mini-campaign started by the school lacrosse team to post group photos outside the bathroom in support.

Comparing her city’s event with Denver’s, Amy said, “It’s definitely not as big, but it is beautiful to visit.” And it is! Colorado Springs has a lot to offer, including a must: The Garden of the Gods. If you’re here in Colorado for a Pride-month celebration and tour, Colorado Springs should be a spot on your list.

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Amy or any of her colleagues have experienced any sort of adversary or hardships along the way while planning the event. I am happy to mention that her answer was a resolute “no.”

She said that while Colorado Springs is traditionally thought of as more conservative, there has been no trouble opening up the dialogue to discuss Pride and furthermore, how having Pride here is especially important. “If there are communities that are unwelcoming, the best way to break that down is to bring in people of all kinds,” she says.

She told me that Colorado Springs has an active LGBT community who live there, work there, and make their life there and how there are even organizations in place to help the LGBT youth in the city.

You may have heard however, how the Colorado Spring LGBT Center recently closed after nearly 40 years. Amy told me that despite this, a smaller organization called Inside Out moved a short time ago to downtown Colorado Springs.

There, LGBT youth can go for specific programming and counseling. Inside Out is known by the locals of Colorado Springs to be a safe place.

All in all, Colorado Springs PrideFest this year is a vital step in bringing pride and positivity into the lives of the inhabitants of Colorado Springs and Colorado as a whole.

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CORKY’S PRIDE POOL PARTY The best was certainly saved for last, as one of Pride’s favorite events came to an end. Corky Blankenship’s Final Pride Pool Party was held on June 18th outside the Wrangler. A capacity crowd donned their sexiest swimwear and braved the 95-degree temperature to enjoy the pool, water slide, foam pit, open bar, and entertainment.

Thanks for the memories, Corky!

Photos by Charles Broshous

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TAILOR Crossplay and Gender Bending in the Cosplay Community

Everyone in Denver knows that Pride usually overlaps with the uber-geek convention, Denver Comic Con. There’s even a running joke that sometimes, on this particular weekend, it’s impossible to tell if those strolling through downtown are on their way to PrideFest or Comic Con. That’s because Denver Comic Con, like Pride, features its own version of drag.

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Cosplay dominates geek conventions. Attendees don the visages of their favorite pop-culture characters from comics, film, video games, and television. For some cosplayers, that means taking on the identity of a character who may be a gender different than their own. This drag version of cosplay falls under two categories: “crossplay” and “gender bending.”

Crossplay occurs whenever a cosplayer’s outfit presents a character of their opposite gender. Crossplay is the cosplay equivalent to cross-dressing. Gender bending, which is trickier to pin down, happens whenever a cosplayer switches the gender (or sex) of a character.

And according to people who’ve been knee-deep in the convention scene, this queerish phenomena may be on the rise.

Kaai Santerelli is a professional cosplayer who built his career on crossplay and bending. At this year’s Denver Comic Con, he arrived as a feminized version of Captain America — adorned in an anne-styled wig and an Old-Glory-fashioned cocktail dress he hand-stitched himself. Instead of carrying an indestructible shield, he wielded a dainty purse with a white star at its center.

For over three years, Santerelli traveled around the country judging for cosplay competitions. He says that as LGBT communities gain more media exposure, crossplay and bending have become more common, too.

“Heterosexual and homosexual people alike — cis and trans — are able to express their gender, as they feel it in the moment, a lot more often,” Santerelli says. “Politically, socially, and culturally we’re changing and challenging what it is to be male or female.”

Even the comics industry took note of this sea change with gender identities.

Traditionally, comic books created female versions of their popular male characters, such as SheHulk, Supergirl, and X-23. In 2014, Marvel did something completely unexpected and switched the sex of Thor, one of their most prized franchises. Santerelli notes, “Thor’s hammer says, ‘Whosoever holds this hammer shall wield the power of Thor,’ not ‘himsoever.’”

4 8 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

Another professional cosplayer, who goes by the name Warumono, presented at a Comic Con panel titled “Crossplay and Gender Bending,” where he gave makeup and clothing tips to other crossplayers. For nearly a decade, he’s flown coast-to-coast to attend conventions, typically cosplaying as male Japanese rock stars known for their androgynous get-ups and homoerotic stage antics. Regarding crossplay and bending, he stressed that these behaviors aren’t new.

“I’ve seen people crossplaying all the time, even back in the day before it was okay to be out,” Waru says. “Crossplay in the convention scene was always really popular. It’s more popular crossplaying women-to-men than men-to-women, probably because it’s more socially acceptable.”

At this year’s Denver Comic Con, women did, in fact, crossplay or bend more than the men attendees.

Jennifer Leigh Garfield, who regularly gender-bends her cosplay, weighed in on this disparity between female and male cosplayers. For her, cosplaying a female character often means being scantily clad. Since cosplayers strive to accurately depict their characters, women who prefer less-exposing costumes are stuck with just a handful of modestly dressed female characters.

There’s also the issue of simply wanting to depict a character someone loves.

“Just because you’re female doesn’t mean you particularly relate to female characters, since there’s a lot more to people than just gender,” Garfield says. “A male character may just resonate more.

So there are many more options available to female cosplayers if they opt to bend or cross.”

The choice to cross or bend ultimately depends on personal preference — with a dash of bravery. One cosplayer at Denver Comic Con gave some advice to her fellow cosplayers. Luna Acquavella, who is also an LGBT advocate, explains that most people never think twice about the more outlandish choices for cosplay. “If people can dress up as Transformers, zombies, and Wookies,” she says, “then you can dress as any gender you desire. Never let factors out of your control determine who you choose to cosplay. Be yourself and never apologize for it.”

ORLANDO VIGIL Denver’s LGBT community and their allies packed the EXDO Event Center on June 12th for a candlelight vigil in support of the victims of the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando. A dozen speakers including clergy members, elected officials, and representatives from various LGBT groups took turns speaking out against the violence while the capacity crowd lit candles, shed tears, and prayed for those affected by this senseless tragedy.

Photos by Charles Broshous

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 49

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H E I N Z ES I G H T

RIDING IN SOLIDARITY Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist IT WAS A FOGGY SUNDAY MORNING IN SAN FRANCISCO AS I SET out on a seven-day adventure that combined a 545-mile bike ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles and meeting hundreds of new people focused on showing solidarity and bringing awareness to HIV/AIDS and celebrating the lives of those affected by it. For me it brought up feelings of sadness, pride, and love mixed with personal self-doubt and wondering if I had the tenacity to get through this. It was an honor to be able to represent Colorado in this important event. Team Colorado brought 17 riders and 13 roadies to ALC and were proudly sponsored by Wag N’ Wash and Mile High Behavioral Healthcare’s gay men’s wellness initiative, The Denver Element.

This experience afforded me many new memories and challenged me in ways I did not expect. I went 40 miles per hour down a few crazy steep hills, struggled to get up challenging inclines, and had to use self-talk to convince myself to keep pushing my body when I wanted to throw up my hands and give up. I fought off leg cramps while dealing with physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion. We creeped up the most formidable hill called Quadbuster and rode though conditions including freezing rain and 106-degree heat. I wore a red dress while climbing up three large hills and was cheered on by individuals, families, and businesses as we rode through their small towns. We joined a huge group on a beach for a candlelight vigil to think about all of those affected by HIV. Many individuals used this ride to honor their own experiences with HIV or to memorialize other loved ones who struggled with it. Many of us focused on thinking about the thousands of people who have died from complications from HIV, but also those living with and thriving in spite of it. This experience empowered and strengthened the resolve of many people to go back to their communities and continue making a difference.

5 2 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

Although this is a huge fundraiser for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the Los Angeles LGBT Center, the benefits gained through the efforts from these organizations has a worldwide impact.

In 1994 when this ride initially began, the majority of the participants were HIV-positive people that had not yet benefited from the amazing medication treatments that would be coming.

They used this event to bring awareness and visibility to issues regarding HIV, as well as to show their personal strength and passion to the larger society. They refused to simply roll over and die. They were fighting for funding, support, recognition, and to represent those who were struggling to live with HIV. Over many years, the event has grown and this year raised over $14 million dollars for HIV-related purposes. Although this is a huge fundraiser for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the Los Angeles LGBT Center, the benefits gained through the efforts from these organizations has a worldwide impact. Their research, outreach methods, community support, and program development are at the forefront of leading the way toward a world with no new HIV infections. Their efforts inspire people to be innovative and effective with HIV programming in their own cities.

When situations became rough during the ride, I kept focusing on faces of people that I love who are living with HIV. I thought about how many times I supported friends through their initial diagnosis, told someone that their HIV test came back positive, or worked with people personally or professionally to aid them in gaining knowledge, challenging stigma, and developing more fulfilling lives regardless of their HIV status. I rode in recognition of the people who are affected by HIV that have the strength to go on daily and live their lives proudly and powerfully.

AIDS/LifeCycle 2016 has truly been a life changing event for me and I return to Colorado even more dedicated, passionate, and resolved to continue making a difference in our community.

This has been the single most unique, difficult, and fulfilling experience of my life. It was truly life changing.

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DENVER COMIC CON For 72 hours, the Mile High City looked more like Metropolis as hundreds of caped crusaders, arch villains, and other miscellaneous comic favorites flooded the Colorado Convention Center in downtown Denver on June 17–19 for Comic Con. The three-day event featured comics, collectibles, clothes, and cameos from numerous celebrities including John Barrowman, Brent Spiner, and Stan Lee. Photos by Charles Broshous

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 55

H EA LT H

CONSENT CONSENSUS O’Brian Gunn WHILE THE GAY COMMUNITY AND ITS ALLIES ARE STILL REELING from the Orlando tragedy, we can’t allow an earlier tragedy to fall off of the radar: The Stanford Rape Victim. These two attacks may seem unconnected at first, but when you dive deeper into the issue, the subjects of consent and respecting an individual’s space are readily apparent in the gay community.

BARE IT ALL Go to any gay bar or club and you’re certain to see plenty of guys with their shirts off. Some might even strip down to their underwear, leaving very little to the imagination. These men may not mind people satisfying their ocular appetites, and they may not even mind feeling a pinch, caress, squeeze, or smack. This type of behavior has become so common in the gay community that one could almost argue that it’s perfectly acceptable to rub a hand across the hair on a guy’s chest, squeeze a nipple, or run a palm across his stomach without asking for permission beforehand. I’ve seen this behavior several times while at Wrangler and Eagle (back when it was still standing and swinging in a leather harness). Even I’ve come to think that it’s “just the way it is.” But is it the way it should be?

MAY I? Another common behavior in the gay community is hooking up. Lots of it. Gay men are more than willing to completely give in to their primal urges. This often results in lots of eye contact, touching, and silent acknowledgements. While there’s nothing wrong with non-verbal consent, the danger lies in relying too much on this method of communicating without words.

As with anything done time and time again, this dialogue of bodies can become habitual, almost second nature. Taking this one step further, the unspoken words can become even more 5 6 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

While there’s nothing wrong with non-verbal consent, the danger lies in relying too much on this method of communicating without words.

muddled when alcohol and/or drugs are involved. Almost everyone, no matter their sexual orientation, sometimes uses alcohol to loosen up, feel more uninhibited. No matter how horny we might be feeling, and no matter how ready, willing, and able the other person seems to be, we have to remember that with sobering clarity can come overwhelming regret. Even though this scenario might not qualify as outright rape, there can still exist a sense of being violated.

KNOW YOUR PLACE So what’s the core of what I’m getting at? Respect. Pure and simple and funky fresh. Asking a guy permission before rubbing a hand over a thick slab of hairy pectoral muscle or caressing the Buddha belly spilling over his belt signifies that you acknowledge him as an individual human being and not as an amorous android programmed for your entertainment.

There’s nothing sexier than having someone truly see you and not just pieces of you. Sure, some guys might not mind you touching them without permission, but even they’re sure to appreciate the gesture.

When the scene shifts to the bedroom, communicate. Verbally.

As a writer, I realize the power and magnitude of words. They can be just as sensual as hands, lips, thighs, calves, arms, buttocks ... you know where I’m going. When you use your words, you invite him to use his words, however sweet and sexy or nasty and raw those words might be. Let there be no misunderstanding between you, or your bodies.

While rape most certainly exists in the gay community, and that’s a conversation we should most definitely have, consent and respect are where it all starts. So before you reach out and touch someone, honor that individual by asking permission and respecting the response.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 57

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OUT FRONT 40TH ANNIVERSARY OUT FRONT celebrated our 40th Anniversary with Dev and the SEXSHOOTERS at City Hall on June 18.

Founded in 1976, OUT FRONT is one of the oldest continuously running, independently owned and operated LGBT publications in the United States.

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H EA LT H

MASTERING MASTURBATION Professor Fawn WHAT IF I MADE THE OUTRAGEOUS CLAIM THAT YOU CAN LOSE weight, be less depressed and/or anxious, and make your sex life better all in the space of 5–30 minutes a day? Sound like a late night infomercial? Would you pay $19.95 to hear the secrets of the universe? No need! I am here to give away this perspective-shattering information and increase your happiness without even signing a contract. All you have to do to make your life better is touch yourself. Repeatedly.

What?! How could it be that simple? Thanks to evolution, sex is fun. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t want to do it, and suddenly, the human race is no longer part of this ecosystem. Sex is an essential part of our human experience and necessary for our bodies to function properly. The great news is we don’t need another person to drink from this fountain of health. We are completely equipped with everything we need. When the time comes, and we want to involve others in our sexual play, masturbation, when done correctly, can enhance an already mind-blowing experience.

Many of us were taught from an early age that any form of self-pleasuring was not only immoral but could actually cause us physical harm. Thanks in part to the Victorians, multiple generations have feared going cross-eyed or growing hair on their palms. The accepted belief was masturbation was the cause of most physical and mental ailments, and if we could eradicate it from our society, the Garden of Eden would be within our grasp again. However, even the early scientists and psychologists had a different conclusion. They quickly found orgasms relieved symptoms of anxiety, especially in women, which lead to the invention of the vibrator to solve the issue doctors were facing of getting hand cramps after repeatedly manually stimulating women to cure their hysteria (now THAT’S a doctor’s appointment I want to make!). After that discovery, it made sense that women could perform their own treatment at home, thanks to their purchase from the Sears catalog (making women happy since 1918).

6 0 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

Like all enjoyable experiences, too much of a good thing often has consequences.

As science progressed, our understanding of how beneficial masturbation is continued to grow. Self-pleasuring is found to be associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression, blood pressure, heart disease, sexual dysfunction, and according to a 2003 Australian study, lower instances of prostate cancer.

Wonderful! But will it insidiously destroy my relationship? The remarkable news is it actually seems to increase communication between partners and, for women, increase their orgasmic response. Basically, if you know how your body works, you are better able to help someone else navigate your delicate systems. Additionally, the more your body experiences orgasms, the easier it is for orgasms to occur.

Are there instances where masturbation can be harmful? Like all enjoyable experiences, too much of a good thing often has consequences. There are some things to keep in mind. One of the biggest pitfalls of masturbation is we can get ourselves into a rut. If you masturbate the same way every time, you are training your body to only experience orgasms in that position or setting. This is easy to avoid! Simply change things up. If you usually lay down, try it in the shower. If you always use your right hand, it’s time to let lefty have a go at it. The more variance you can put into your routine, the better your body will react in novel situations (like a new partner or in a location you are unfamiliar with, like a car or hotel room). Your best tools for health are within you! Use them with pride!

Coming Up Next Issue: What about addiction to masturbation?

Next time we will explore the possible pitfalls of pornography and excessive masturbation.

Fawn Oates has been lecturing on topics of sexuality at the college level for 15 years. She is currently a professor at Red Rocks Community College and teaches a variety of classes including the Psychology of Gender, Human Sexuality, and the Psychology of Transgenderism.

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H EA LT H

SPIN CYCLE: HOW GREAT IS THE CYCLING FAD? Kelsey Lindsey AS I CLIPPED INTO MY BIKE BEFORE A CYCLING CLASS THIS WEEK, I felt the shade of a thousand weeping willows settle across the room.

“In this class, we don’t do any of those week-ass pushups,” the instructor said. “We don’t dance, we don’t sway to the f-ing music. We cycle. Because this is a cycling class.”

Obviously this was a not-so-subtle subtweet towards SoulCycle, the hugely-popular cycling studio that built its brand on a pyramid of loud music, mantra-spewing teachers, and (you guessed it) pushups, dancing, and swaying to the music, all while still peddling the bike.

I admit: I have attended two SoulCycle classes (hey, they were free!). While I enjoyed the motivating quotes and club-like atmosphere, I still walked away wondering how good a workout I was getting. Luckily, I’m not alone in my pondering. Thanks in part to SoulCycle and the various competitors imitating SoulCycle, publications across the country have asked this same question. Reading them, my suspicions were confirmed. While SoulCycle does provide a fun way to burn some extra calories, the pushups, tap-backs, and overall sporadic intensity found in the classes make it less of the hardcore workout many of its clients think it is.

One of the biggest criticisms of SoulCycle (or any spinning class like SoulCycle, of which there are many) is the way 6 2 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

When fads go bad, it’s the fit who suffer.

it incorporates upper-body exercises while bikers are still peddling. Based on the classes I went to, this involves anything from doing pushups on the handlebars to using small weights for a roughly five-minute routine working the biceps, triceps, shoulders, and back.

According to Jennifer Sage, a Master Instructor for Spinning with a degree in exercise science quoted by the Los Angeles Times, doing these exercises lowers your power input and decreases the calories you burn while also posing the risk of injury to your lower back and muscles and connective tissues in the leg. Once more, lifting such a small amount of weight (most people use one to two pounds) is only activating your slow-twitch fibers in your arms — to build muscle you need to activate your fast-twitch muscle fibers.

Beyond the upper bodywork, other people have found issue with the famous “tap-backs” that are incorporated into every class, where bikers rise out of the saddle and touch their bum back in a fast motion. In a post on the Indoor Cycling Association’s webpage, Sage said that this movement is potentially harmful to the knee and back as it tends to hyperextend your knee.

While I applaud any class that draws in the crowds for creating a fun environment to exercise, these articles gave me reservations. Perhaps I’ll stick to my trusty Schwinn and the great outdoors for my next endorphin rush.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 63

O U T BAC K CLASSIFIEDS Envisioned by Boberto

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BAC KWO R DS

ASK A SLUT [WARNING: GRAPHIC]

Dear Sluts, What kind of lube do you use? Have you used the 420-infused lube?

Signed, SLIPPERY WHEN WET Latexa: I have always felt that spit and tears make the best lube, but when they’re not enough, I use Crisco.

Zoey: I found that butter works. I don’t go for the edibles in Colorado.

Cookie: Spit always works.

JackLynn: I personally don’t need lube. This slut is dripping. (Wanna check?)

What is the most exotic thing to enter any of your orifices?

Signed, TASTES LIKE CHICKEN Latexa: When I was in New Orleans, I tried alligator. That was pretty exotic.

Zoey: I ate horse one time. Or did you mean a lower orifice? That I can not share by court order.

6 6 J U LY 0 6 , 2 0 1 6

Cookie: Escargot is as close to a description without going into details. Salty, garlicky, slimy, slow, little crunchy — you get the picture.

JackLynn: I have this electric … nevermind.

How furry is your _____?

Signed, BEAR OR BEAST Latexa: Is my what? I have a lot of furry things.

My cat, my rug, that thing at the back of the fridge that has started to move on its own. What do you mean?

Zoey: My fur coats are quite furry. I don’t go for that shearling shit.

Cookie: Sweater? If you have cats, you know that pussy leaves hair everywhere. You need a lint roller to get any of it off and it still hangs around unkempt.

JackLynn: Since I don’t have much hair anywhere else, except my head — and the carpet matches the drapes by the way, except when the drapes are blue … wait, where was I going with this? What was the question?

keepitCurious IT’S WHAT’S INSIDE THAT COUNTS

OPENVAPE.COM

Look, Mom, both hands.

The 2016 WRX.® Standard Symmetrical All-Wheel Drive, available 6-speed manual or Sport Lineartronic® transmission, and powered by a 268-hp turbocharged SUBARU BOXER® engine. It’s a level of control you have to feel to believe. Love. It’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.

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