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CONTENTS

VOLUME 38

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ISSUE 12

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S E P T E M B E R 17, 2 0 14

THE WOMEN’S ISSUE 7 • Guest Op-Ed: Colorado Should Take the Full Step Toward Marriage Equality 8 • The Female Entrepreneur 10 • Blending In: Journeys in Gender at Denver Hackerspace 10 • Lesbi Honest: The Ladies Are at a Disadvantage 11 • The Center Celebrates 16 Years of Rainbow Alley 14 • Gender Norms: Anything But Normal 15 • McGlothlen: Graced By Burns 16 • Panel: Do Pop Stars Move Women Forward?

18 • Exaggerated Confessions of a Nomadic Colorado Native 19 • Legal Directory 20 • Colorado’s Top 10 Waterfalls 24 • Calendar 25 • Pioneering Odysseo 26 • Cuisine: Spruce Farm & Fish 28 • Film: Lilting / Wetlands 30 • Marketplace 32 • Beyond Bondage: Madison Young 33 • 9 Divine Questions with Missy Suicide 34 • What Transwomen Taught Me About The World In General 36 • In The Spotlight: Jennifer Ghormley 37 • Busting Out: Smashing Feminist Myths 38 • Sexual Censorship and Slut-Shaming 39 • Let’s Get Physical: Denver-based Orgasmatronics 40 • Beauty: It Really Is That Pimple 40 • Radioactive Vision: Burning Man 42 • Bar Tab 45 • Sexpert: Taking it All Off 4

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SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 • Fax: 303-325-2642 Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO • Instagram: /OutFrontColorado Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle.

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COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT, its staff, or advertisers.

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GUEST OP-ED

Colorado Should Take the Full Step Toward Marriage Equality Wellington Webb

I

n 1996, South Africa became a pioneer to the world when it rewrote its constitution to include the protection of sexual orientation. That historic step came largely because of Nelson Mandela’s deep commitment to equality after decades of apartheid rule and also because of a friendship he formed in the early 60s.

In 1962, Mandela began posing as the chauffeur of Cecil Williams, a gay white theater director, which allowed Mandela to travel around the country, elude authorities while continuing to organize against apartheid and the oppressive government policies.

From that experience, Mandela learned, as so many of us have, that it is virtually impossible to maintain any kind of bigotry or discrimination in the face of friendship and understanding.

It’s why attitudes have changed drastically in Colorado and around the country about same sex marriage. We can no longer face friends and family who are asking for equal protection under the law and tell them they are different. It is an indefensible position.

Colorado Attorney General John Suthers maintains that somehow he must see the appeals

on Colorado’s gay marriage ban prohibiting discrimination based through to the end because it is his on sexual orientation stretches job. The reality is quite different — back to 1975. None of these issues or battles came easy, and in each Colorado Supreme Court ruled in 2003 that not only should Suthers one we had to balance our own not defend unconstitutional posisecurity concerns and philosophitions, he should go to court against cal beliefs against our senses of those laws and provisions. He is justice and fair play with an eye on the wrong side — attempting to on the 14th Amendment.

Recognition of same sex marstop the tide of history and justice for all. riage is a personal as well as a Other states have faced the civil rights issue for me. I testified Wellington Webb inevitability of recognizing same on behalf of civil unions at the sex marriage. This battle is all but legislature, knowing that the next over and Colorado has more important issues that logical step would be to strike down the ban on gay require our resources and time. Perhaps New marriage. Our son Keith, who died in 2009 from a Jersey Governor Chris Christie said it best: “When suspected suicide, and I talked about Colorado’s I know that I’ve been defeated you don’t bang your progress on recognizing committed couples and I head against a wall and spend taxpayer money asked him if civil unions would be enough.

He said to me, “Would you expect me as your to do it,” he said, explaining his decision not to continue appealing the lawsuit which overturned son to say half a step is a civil right?”

New Jersey’s marriage ban.

Colorado should take the full step toward My wife, Wilma, and I have a decades-long marriage equality.  history of fighting discrimination — discrimination based on physical handicaps, marital status, Wellington Webb is a former three-term, first race, gender, ethnicity, religious beliefs, work- ever African-American mayor of Denver and place rights, and many other issues. Our stand founder of the Webb International Group.

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THE FEMALE ENTREPRENEUR

From gender bias to pay disparity, women in the business world face growing challenges compared to their male counterparts.

Mike Yost

“G

rowing up, for girls, all you hear is you can’t, you can’t, you can’t,” says Jody Bouffard, co-owner of Blush & Blu, the bar and coffeehouse on Colfax. “But every time somebody has told me I can’t,” adds Jody, “I say, watch me, because I can.”

And succeed she has, as Jody was just awarded Entrepreneurial Woman of the Year for 2015 by the Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Her path to business ownership began when she was 19 years old. Jody moved from Vermont to Colorado and worked as a barback at The Elle, a lesbian bar on Colfax and Speer next to the Denver Diner.

“Every weekend I would say to my bosses, ‘Someday I’m going to own this bar.’ I loved being there. I loved the energy of it. I loved the environment of it, even though sometimes I was scrubbing the toilets or mopping the dance floor.”

Jody worked a second job at Walgreens and saved her money. Though The Elle eventually closed, Jody realized her dream of running her own business in 2000 when she helped open her first bar, The Wave. She accomplished this without the help of a business degree or any formal training, diligently attending “the school of hard knocks” every semester.

Since then, Jody has opened three additional bars, including tHERe Coffee Bar and Lounge in 2005, HER Bar in 2008 (which is now X-Bar), and finally Blush & Blu, which occupies the same space tHERe did.

Jody Bouffard & Holly Hatch 8

But despite her success and 15 years of experience as a business owner, Jody still struggles against gender bias. “When I deal with my liquor reps, or I deal with new vendors, 95 percent of the time they are male reps. And in comparison to X-Bar, what they get from my same reps versus what I get are night and day.”

Jody emphasizes that she ordered the same amount of product as X-Bar does now, yet she was unable to garner the same amount of support and funding from certain liquor representatives.

And Jody is not alone in this. Earlier this year, Harvard Business School released a study that showed venture capitalists prefer to invest in maleowned businesses versus female-owned businesses.

When men and women both pitched business ideas for actual companies to investors, 68 percent of the time the investors preferred to finance maleowned businesses. Only 32 percent of the time did investors prefer to finance women-owned businesses.

“We still live in a very, very segregated world in terms of gender,” says Holly Hatch, Jody’s wife and co-owner of Blush & Blu. They are the only female bar owners in the Denver LGBT community. “Women still don’t have the same kind of opportunities in the business sphere that men do.”

Holly echoes Jody’s experiences of bias when dealing with outside vendors, adding that they constantly have to reassert themselves when working with liquor reps, especially when it comes to fundraisers. They equate it to “pulling teeth.”

“You feel it all the time,” says Holly. “You feel like you’re always going to be second guessed. And I don’t know if that’s a part of our culture and the conditioning that we have as kids, that it’s always going to be more of a struggle to prove yourself as a woman. I don’t know if that’s something we’ve learned along the way.”

And that struggle is echoed in the workplace.

The Denver Post reported earlier this year that there is gender disparity regarding pay in Colorado, with women earning 78 cents for every dollar men make.

Many advocates have called for legislation to help curb gender bias in the business world, but entrepreneurs like Jody are frustrated at the lack of progress in cultivating substantial, long-lasting change by a government that seems forever in gridlock.

“Go back 100 years … you had women like Alice Paul, Susan B. Anthony, and the Suffrage Movement — girls picketing in front of the White House to make a statement for equal rights. That was in 1912. It is 2014 and women still do not have equal rights.”

Senator Barbara Mikulski, a Maryland Democrat, sponsored the Paycheck Fairness Act earlier this year to combat wage disparity in which women earn 77 cents for every dollar men make.

Unfortunately, the Senate blocked the legislation on April 9, with some Senate Republicans arguing that the legislation would do little to help women in the workplace. And though President Obama signed an executive order earlier this year prohibiting federal contractors from punishing employees who discuss their salary, making it easier for women

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to know if they are being paid less than men, Jody says it’s not enough.

“I voted for Obama in 2008 because he stood there at the Democratic National Convention and said, ‘I want my daughters to have the same rights as your sons.’ Where is that? Where’s my dollar-for-dollar for the man doing the same job I’m doing?”

Both Holly and Jody emphasize that true change can only occur through education, which would work to shift the cultural perception regarding women in the male-dominated business world.

“It should start in elementary school where boys and girls are taught they are equal, because by the time you hit high school, girls are put into home economics classes,” says Jody. “They should have entrepreneur classes for girls in high school.”

Holly adds that it’s also imperative to eradicate socially-constructed gender norms often ingrained in children at an early age. “Regardless of what happens with legislation and making wages equal, if the people who are in those situations don’t see themselves as equal, it’s not going to change.”

On August 26, the nation celebrated Women’s Equality Day, which marked the passage of the 19th Amendment granting women the right to vote in 1920. Susan B. Anthony, one of the architects of the Women’s Suffrage Movement, said that she prayed “every single moment of my life; not on my knees but with my work. My prayer is to lift women to equality with men.”

The work of Holly, Jody, and other female entrepreneurs echoes those words, spoken almost a century ago. “Women are saying we are capable — just like men — to do these things,” says Holly. 

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Blending In Journeys in gender at Denver Hackerspace Jamie Siebrase

“I

f you aren’t familiar with it, genderqueer has nothing to do with gay or straight — it’s just what gender you identify with,” says Mar Williams, founder of The Concoctory Hackerspace, a place where makers and hackers gathered to, say, create miniature 3D replicas of themselves, learn to pick locks, or rap about infinity while petting Parsley the shopcat. Though the space recently closed its doors — at the time this article went to press, The Concoctory was having a blowout inventory sale — the discoveries made inside its walls remain in the minds of those who bravely used the space to hack, among other things, gender norms.

While some transgender people identify rigidly as either male or female, Mar thinks of gender as “more of a spectrum,” she says, noting how that ideology seems especially prevalent among genderqueers working in technology and science-based fields — both male-dominated industries where it doesn’t exactly pay to have tits.

“Women aren’t taken seriously too often, and it took being on the other side to realize that fully,” Mar continues. Mar is playful with presentation, bouncing back and forth between both genders easily.

Jace, a transman, is more fixed in his identity. As a third party administrator at a local tech company, he’s had a similar opportunity to “fully feel the experience of being male and female.” When Jace moved to Denver five years ago, he hadn’t started his transition, and was presenting female at another technology firm. Today, Jace blends in well — so well, in fact, that nobody at work knows he was born with female parts. “I’ve never been questioned even once,” Jace emphasizes.

The majority of Jace’s colleagues are men. “I get to see the male bonding experience a lot more than I used to, and it’s interesting to be able to blend

and see the differences between gender,” he says, noting drastic discrepancies between how men and women are treated — and promoted.

When Mar was chair of denhac (the Denver Hackerspace), she was presenting female and wasn’t on hormones yet. “It was a weird thing,” she says. “I was chair of a hackerspace but felt like I had no credibility. People would come in and walk by me to talk to the nearest male.”

“In male-dominated fields, I think there’s posturing that guys grow up with that they aren’t even aware of,” Mar says, adding that women are typically socialized to Keep quiet and wait their turn to talk!, while men aren’t afraid to talk over each other.

Now, if Mar finds herself in a situation where she has to, let’s say, speak to a room full of guys as the authority on a subject, she feels she’ll be much better received if she presents male. So, she does. “Some might call bullshit on that, but I totally feel it,” says Mar. Jace, for one, would not call bullshit. “Just listening to the way guys at work associate with some of the girls ... it’s a man’s world, that is true.”

Most women at his company answer phones or play other gender-stereotyped roles. “The guy roles tend to be a lot more into the tech portion, and IT is all guys,” adds Jace. “There are very few leadership roles for girls, and I don’t think I’d have advanced to where I am now as a woman,” he continues.

There might be clear-cut advantages to being male within a boyish brood, true, but both Mar and Jace ultimately feel their gender identities are more innate than environmentally convenient. And, Mar, for one, still enjoys presenting female, “and not necessarily for the way it has me interacting with other people.”  Learn more about Denver Hackerspace at DenHac.org.

LesBi Honest: The Ladies are at a Disadvantage Mike Yost In February, Out Front reported on the economic welfare of the LGBT population. (Read it online at ofcnow.co/economics.) One of the findings revealed that despite the fact lesbians in same-sex relationships earn a higher personal income than women in opposite-sex relationships — $8,000 more a year in 2011 — lesbians still earn less than gay men.

And from 2008 to 2011, that income gap between lesbians in same-sex relationships compared to women in opposite-sex relationships shrunk by $2,000.

The results reflect a trend felt locally in Colorado. A recent Denver Post article reported in May that pay for women in Colorado dropped to 78.3 percent of men’s wages in 2012.

The Williams Institute, a think-tank based in Los Angeles at the University of California Law, released a new study in August utilizing Gallup data that found women within the LGBT community report lower levels of prosperity, 10

connectedness, and contentment when compared to other demographics.

Dr. Gary Gates, distinguished scholar at the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Law and Public Policy, stated in a press release that the findings were consistent with previous studies, adding that “analyses of the Gallup data confirm that LGBT adults, particularly women, frequently report lower levels of health and well-being when compared to their non-LGBT counterparts.”

The study, based on interviews with more than 80,000 American adults, created an index that measured various categories of well-being including physical health, social stability, community involvement, and having a sense of purpose.

According to the report, only one in four LGBT Americans said they are thriving physically, compared to one in three for heterosexual Americans.

This ratio is cultivated largely by LGBT women, as the difference in health between LGBT men and straight men was statistically negligible.

There was also a large gap in community

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well-being between LGBT and non-LGBT Americans — again the gap was driven largely by LGBT women. Only 31 percent of LGBT women said they felt safe, secure, and involved with their local community, as compared to 40 percent of straight women.

Finally, when it comes to purpose-driven welfare revolving around personal goals, daily activities, strengths, and having an inspirational leader, only 32 percent of LGBT women reported having a strong sense of purpose compared to 40 percent of nonLGBT women. The percentage of LGBT males who reported having a strong sense of purpose was equal to that of heterosexual males at 33 percent.

Again, the gap between the LGBT population and the straight community was driven by women.

The Williams Institute emphasized that geographic and demographic variables were taken into account when calculating the well-being index, and that the study provides clear evidence that stigma and discrimination are still a large part of the everyday life of an LGBT American, especially for LGBT women. 

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OUT FRONT & CENTER

HOW Sweet IT IS

The Center celebrates 16 years of Rainbow Alley Rex Fuller

T

he Center’s youth program, Rainbow Alley, started out in 1998 as a crisis pager that young LGBT people and their allies could call when they needed help. Volunteers worked to help teens in crisis find the resources they needed. The program grew over the years to serve more than 10,000 LGBT youth throughout Colorado, and today includes a drug-free and hate-free drop-in space, as well as programming that serves young people and their families.

Additionally, Rainbow Alley provides support services for youth dealing with bullying and acceptance at school and assists homeless and displaced youth who have been kicked out of their homes. It provides positive, youth-led activities such as social events, leadership training, and career exploration.

Rainbow Alley also provides free HIV and STD testing, as well as practical and accurate information about sexuality tailored for LGBTQ youth.

“I am honored to become part of The Center,” says Nadine Bridges, who was recently appointed director of youth services and Rainbow Alley. “My passion is, and always will be, to understand youth, diversity, the world we live in, and how these factors affect each and every one of us. I am impressed by the support that Rainbow Alley offers LGBTQ youth and Thursday, October 2 look forward to forming a collaboration University of Denver with new community partners, building Driscoll Student Center, capacity, and advocating for and working 2055 E. Evans Ave. with the youth we serve.”

Nadine previously worked at Denver Tickets available at Urban Scholars where she served as glbtcolorado.org engagement manager and clinical case manager. She is a former Peace Corps volunteer, started her own mentoring program, and has taught Spanish.

She comes to The Center from the Graduate School of Social Work at the University of Denver where she works as an adjunct professor.

Host Chris Parente of Fox 31’s “Everyday Show” will serve as emcee for the Sweet 16 soiree where several organizations and individuals will be honored. Each year, Rainbow Alley hosts a holiday celebration for young people who may have nowhere else to go. For years, members of the Colorado Gay Rodeo Association have volunteered, helping serve the holiday dinner and making the event happen. The CGRA has also donated generously over the years to support the program. The Mile High Bullseye Dart League also has raised funds for Rainbow Alley through its tournaments in the community. Both organizations are being honored with a Community Partner Award.

The Jay & Rose Phillips Family Foundation of Colorado is being honored with the Breaking Barriers Award for their outstanding support. The foundation has been deeply committed to LGBT equality ever since the passage of Colorado’s Amendment 2 in 1992. The foundation has provided vital funding to support Rainbow Alley’s growing staff and to develop programs.

Two alumni, Moises Muñoz and Lynette Schweimler, are being honored for their commitment to Rainbow Alley and for their work in the community.

Linda Warren will be honored with the first annual Linda Warren Volunteer Award for her outstanding service to the youth of Rainbow Alley.

Guests at the event will have the chance to bid on several exciting auction items, including an amazing entertainment package that includes tickets to many of Denver’s hottest attractions and events, including box seats to “Kinky Boots,” the Cyndi Lauper musical playing at the Buell Theater, and the newly revamped version of “The Unsinkable Molly Brown.” A fabulous food and wine package will be up for auction, as well as a sparkling holidayentertaining package and a frightful Halloween grab bag.

“We are very proud of all that Rainbow Alley has accomplished over the past 16 years,” says Debra Pollock, CEO of The Center. “I really hope the many community members who have donated their time and money over the years to make this vital resource possible will join us to celebrate the program and the youth of our community.” 

R U N N I N G O F T H E G AY S The 5th Annual Running of the Gays was held in Capitol Hill on September 7. The three-block marathon in heels along 17th Avenue, hosted by Art from Ashes, began in front of Steuben’s and ended in front on Tony P’s. Proceeds benefit creative programs for LGBTQ youth at Rainbow Alley. Gay and lesbian youth are two to three times more likely to commit suicide than other youths. Art from Ashes provides creative programs that improve self-perception and increase involvement with and connection to the community. This year’s event was emceed by Daniella DeCoteau and the after party was held at the X Bar. | Photos by Charles Broshous

See more photos online at ofcnow.co/gays14

RAINBOW ALLEY’S SWEET 16 SOIREE

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There’s a fantastic channel on YouTube called Minute Physics where artist Henry Reich explains, using time-lapse illustration, that pink is merely the combination of red and blue light. Henry jokes that pink should be called minus green, “because pink is just the leftovers of white light when you take out the green.” (Watch online at ofcnow.co/minusgreen.)

Henry didn’t mention anything in his video about gender of course, as there is nothing intrinsic to pink as a signifier for gender. But if you Google back-to-school clothes, you’ll find the color pink constantly equated to femininity. One advertisement I found featured a pile of folded shirts, most of them pink, next to a cup with pink pencils. Curiously the advertisement for boys’ clothing had the same setup, only with the familiar yellow pencils next to the pile of folded shirts — none of which were pink.

This trend of assigning colors to gender began in the early 20th century.

Before then, both boys and girls were usually dressed in white. Then catalogues began associating specific colors to gender, but with a twist: They marketed pink for boys and blue for girls.

“The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls,” reads this excerpt from the Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department publication in 1918. “The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”

It’s a shocking reminder of how arbitrary the “rules” are regarding a color specified for a single gender. Fast forward to today, and that color trend has been completely inverted, due again to companies marketing specific colors to specific genders.

And this goes far beyond clothing. I remember looking for a birthday present for my niece, walking down the toy aisle and drowning in a sea of minus green: pink Lego castles, pink teddy bears, pink bikes — almost every toy sealed in pink packaging.

And of course gender norms are not just about color. There is the famous picture of America’s 32nd president, Franklin D. Roosevelt, taken when he was five years old. In it, the man who would one day take on the Nazis is wearing a white dress with long, curly locks of hair resting on his shoulders.

What surprised me most about that photograph wasn’t that, at first glance, I thought the child was a girl, but that I was surprised at all in the first place. It demonstrated how deeply embedded these manufactured ideas of gender norms are. Just like the color pink, there’s nothing intrinsic to a dress that signifies it as female.

So what can we do to advocate change? Perhaps take a page from 7-year-old Charlotte Benjamin, who wrote Lego a letter (which went viral) criticizing their use of colors and packaging.

“Today I went to the store and saw Legos in two sections,” she writes.

“The pink, girls, and blue, boys. All the girls did was sit at home, go to the beach, and shop, and had no jobs, but the boys went on adventures, worked, saved people, and had jobs, even swam with sharks.”

Thank you, Charlotte, for reminding us that gender norms are like minus green: merely the leftovers of marketing when you take out the truth. 

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GRACED BY BURNS Scott McGlothlen | Bleed Like Me I SAT IN THE PEW FEELING COMPLETED BAFFLED. For ten years I swore I would never step foot in a church again. Now not only was I there, but I had tears rolling down my face and tissue clenched in my fist. Even though the pastor, Jim Burns, was speaking to hundreds of people, it felt like he was speaking directly to me.

This wasn’t long after I received my HIV diagnosis. My future partner Luke — who at the time was just a very supportive “friend with benefits” — invited me to join him there. He softened the request by noting this was a gay church. I couldn’t quite imagine what that looked like. But since the diagnosis had shattered my life, I figured the time had come to try new things.

The music was lively and the people friendly. Actually, the people were quite messy, as well. This wasn’t the kind of church I grew up in where we had to all look and act like absolute perfection.

Rather, you really could come as you were, either totally together or completely disheveled, and the people around you had nothing but love and support to give.

This was the kind of environment Jim created at Metropolitan Community Church of the Rockies. Even though I had no desire to find God, I desperately needed words of hope and healing. I needed them to come from actual wisdom, and I needed them to be challenging (not just a simple pat on the back).

As it turned out, this was exactly what Jim’s sermons did for me.

From that moment on, I attended MCCR every Sunday. I found that even a little atheist Rev. Jim Burns like me could remove the “God concept” out of the sermon’s equation and still learn a valuable lesson on how to live life better — not only for myself but for others as well.

In my time at MCCR, I was never pressured to find God or relate to their theology. In fact, my regular attendance — in spite of my lack of faith — became something worth celebrating. On several occasions, Jim asked me to speak in front of the congregation in order to share my unique perspective.

This man’s grace and acceptance truly taught me the values of what it meant to be Christ-like, even if I didn’t believe in Christ.

When Luke and I decided to have a “wedding,” it made total sense that Jim would officiate the ceremony. In a way, the concepts in his sermons helped us build foundational elements for our relationship to thrive. By this time in our lives, we considered him not just our pastor, but a friend and mentor.

In any organization, it’s impossible to make everyone happy. Jim, aside from being a pastor, was still a gay man. Like any human being, he wanted to go have a beer with friends at a bar. He wanted to have the freedom to date and have relationships. For some, this behavior was unacceptable for a man of God. For others, it made him more relatable. Regardless, Jim continually offered kindness, love, and respect to everyone.

After eighteen years of being pastor for this church, Jim recently announced his resignation. The news devastated so many of us in the congregation. He created an environment safe for LGBT people to worship.

This was a community I felt proud to be a part of. Jim not only gave me words of wisdom to live by, but he also gave me emotional refuge to survive by.

He is the man who moved me from being atheist to respectfully agnostic.

He is the man who taught me grace. And in the spirit of Jim Burns, I hope to do the same for my community as well. 

Been rubbing noses lately?

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO GET A CHECK-UP. HIV testing is available through the Metro Denver Collaborative Denver Public Health Jefferson County Public Health Tri-County Health Department

FREE and CONFIDENTIAL HIV testing and counseling.

For locations in the metro area, visit www.BeTested.CO.

Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life as an HIV-positive gay man. See more of Scott’s columns online at ofcnow.co/scott or contact him at scott@outfrontonline.com.

Learn more about MCC of the Rockies, visit them at mccrockies.org.

© 2014 Denver Public Health

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Think about pop-stars like Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna. They’re very open and unapologetic with their sexuality. So do they move women forward ... or do they move them backwards?

W

e as a society are moved forward by those in history who make a difference, make a mark, and make an impact. When I think about women in history, I look up to women such as Hypatia of Alexandria and Coco Chanel. I am in awe and attempt to follow the daring footsteps of women such as Rosa Parks and Maya Angelou. When I think about influencers of our society, my immediate thought doesn’t go toward a pop-star such as Nikki Minaj, Lady Gaga, or Rihanna. So I did some research. It appears Time Magazine agrees — and disagrees — with me. They listed Madonna as one Keo Frazier of the 25 most powerful women of the past century alongside Hillary Clinton, Aretha Franklin, and Sandra Day O’Connor among others. Once upon a time, Madonna was on the cutting edge of displaying her sexuality in an open and unapologetic way. So I’ve changed my tune. Let’s welcome the Hillary Clintons and the Nicki Minajs of the world to represent the multi-faceted way we can be as women, as humans. Perhaps anyone who seeks to truly be themselves without question, denying all judgment is a game changer in moving us forward.  Keo Frazier is a local entrepreneur and business leader, and the fearless leader of KEOS Marketing Group. Find out more at keosmarketing.com.

I

believe female celebrity sexuality exists in large part for self-promotion and publicity. Pop stars’ actions are pure publicity stunts or, perhaps on occasion, expressions of what they truly think and believe — thoughts and beliefs that average folks in America keep to themselves. But the reputation of women builds on their successes, not on crass publicity stunts.

Women of true accomplishment in academia, athletics, government, medicine, and countless other fields are the women to whom I direct my admiration. Very few celebrities are worthy of anything but eight-digit annual salaries.  Iowa native George Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.

I

George K. Gramer, Jr.

truly believe that we’ll be able to move forward with the conversation of sexuality, gender identification, and an acceptance of people for who they are not by beginning to talk about those topics themselves, but by beginning to talk about sex. Sex is something we all either do or don’t do, but until we’re in a place where talking about it is okay without a fear or stigma of it being “bad” or “wrong,” we’re not going to be able to move onto the issues that surround it. I applaud those who share their bodies and lives in a way that celebrates who they are as a whole, because sex is included in Alison Wisneski our daily lives and should not be seen as faux-pas or inappropriate to talk about.  Alison Wisneski is pursuing an MA in Social Change from the Iliff School of Theology. She focuses on relationship building and organizing those to rally around LGBTQ visibility and equality, currently within the United Methodist Church.

TOGETHER

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Exaggerated Confessions of a Nomadic Colorado Native Mike Yost I’LL ADMIT IT: I HAD IT PRETTY DAMN GOOD GROWING UP. You see, my dad absolutely hates the city. The noise. The pollution. The overabundance of hipsters. As a result, I spent my teenage years growing up in the mountains of Colorado near Divide, a small town about 40 miles west of the Springs.

(Pro Tip: “The Springs” is synonymous with Colorado Springs, but not Manitou Springs, Glenwood Springs, or any other Springs-like city in Colorado because ... um ... science!)

I spent most weekends hiking through beautiful Aspen groves along the banks of meandering creeks, or rock climbing up the sides of granite cliffs, or just sitting in silent meditation on the top of a grassy hill watching a herd of elk roam through a distant prairie valley — and only once during those hikes was I ever almost mauled by a bear.

Yep. I didn’t realize how good I had it until I left Colorado for the Air Force when I was 18 years old.

Lackland Air Force Base, Texas: My Colorado brain could not accept how hot it could be in March. MARCH! There was f*cking snow on the ground when I left Divide for basic training. And now I was marching under a cruel, merciless sun, dying of heat stroke while being screamed at by an Air Force sergeant that I didn’t have permission to die of heat stroke.

Keesler Air Force Base, Mississippi: The heat only got worse in the Magnolia State. Downright unnatural — like corgis. Even though we would march to tech school before the sun was even up, my shirt would be plastered to my chest like a second layer of skin. You had to physically shoulder your way through the thick humidity.

At least I found comfort eating at Waffle House, so numerous that they are actually used as mile markers along the interstates of Mississippi.

Hill Air Force Base, Utah: Finally. Back to the mountains. But my sense of direction was off for the first three months. For those of us who grew up on the front range, mountains mean west. Hill AFB was surrounded by mountains.

My first day there, I drove in circles looking for the base before my car ran out of gas and I had to ride on the bike handlebars of a very nice (and strikingly good-looking) Mormon missionary. He tried to convert me. I tried to get his phone number.

Since I grew up behind Pikes Peak buried in snow every winter, I thoroughly enjoy the lake-effect snow.

You know, where it snows a second time after the snowstorm has passed.

It was awesome. The squalls were generated by the nearby Great Salt Lake — which, yes, does indeed smell like rotten eggs.

Belmont, California: Finally. Out of the military. But anytime anyone in Denver complains about the traffic, I have to fight from rolling my eyes and responding, “That’s so adorable!” Have you ever tried to drive from Belmont to San Francisco during rush hour? You better bring extra food, bottled water, a sleeping bag, and the false hope of ever reaching your destination. I did get a kick out of the Belmont city limits sign, boasting an elevation of 43 ft.

“That’s so adorable!” says the kid who grew up above 9,000 ft.

Hillsboro, Oregon: It’s true: You’re not allowed to pump your own gas in Oregon. Seriously. They will tackle you for that shit. And if you don’t recycle, state officials bust into your house and force you to watch “Portlandia,” Clockwork-Orange style until you’re overcome by madness, broken and forever without a soul. It’s true. Living near the ocean was awesome, but it rains there. A lot. Almost every day. Dreary ashen clouds hanging low over your head. The constant drone of water flicking at the window panes.

No sun. No warmth. Some say it’s depressing. Why am I even writing this?

What’s the point of anything, really? Why write at all?  Mike Yost can be reached at an abandoned sanitarium somewhere in the mountains. No he can’t. Nevermind.

LEGAL

Psychological Parent Standing for Allocation of Parental Responsibilities From The Law Offices of Frazer & Parks, LLC Factual Scenario: Jill was in a relationship with her same-sex partner, Barbara, and they raised Barbara’s daughter, Emily, together as a family in Colorado. Jill and Barbara never entered into a Colorado civil union, and they were never legally married in another state. Emily’s father was not in the picture. During their relationship, Emily referred to both Jill and Barbara as “mom.” Recently, Jill and Barbara ended their relationship. Now, Barbara is refusing to let Jill spend time with Emily. Barbara told Jill she has no legal parental rights. Is there anything that Jill can do?

If you find yourself in a similar situation as Jill, you may be able to successfully make a psychological parent argument before a Colorado family court. A non-legal parent “may be deemed a psychological

parent for the purposes of seeking and receiving an award of parental responsibilities. . . .” In re E.L.M.C., 100 P.3d 546, 559 (Colo. App. 2004). In general, a psychological parent who had the physical care for a child for 182 days or more may file a petition with the court for allocation of parental responsibilities. Colo. Rev. Stat. § 14-10-123(1)(c)(2013). Further, the petition for allocation of parenting time must be filed within 182 days after the termination of physical care.

When assessing physical care, Colorado courts consider “the nature, frequency, and duration of contacts between the child and the nonparent, including the amount of time the child has spent in the actual, physical possession of the nonparent and the [legal] parent.” In re L.F., 121 P. 3d 267, 270-271 (2005).

See the full story at ofcnow.co/parent

The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

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LAW OFFICES OF FRAZER & PARKS

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ACC E S S O U R L E GA L D I R E C TO RY O N L I N E AT ofcnow.co/legal TO ADVERTISE HERE, PLEASE CONTACT OUT FRONT: 303-477-4000, OR EMAIL MARKETING@OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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C O L O R A D O ’ S T O P 1 0 WAT E R FA L L S

A L B E R TA FA L L S

HANGING LAKE

B R I D A L V E I L FA L L S

O

ften, the true satisfaction at the end of a tough hike — besides the “ah, I’ve made it” moment, of course — is being greeted with amazing views.

And what better to greet us than beautiful mountain waterfalls? From one of the state’s most visited (Hanging Lake in Glenwood Springs) to the tallest free-falling falls in Colorado (Bridal Veil Falls), here is a sampling of some local favorites that are well worth the trek.

A L B E R TA FA L L S ( E S T E S PA R K ) The 1.7-mile (roundtrip) Alberta Falls hike, named for Alberta Sprague, wife of Abner Sprague who was one of the original settlers in the area, is an easy but beautiful hike for the summer and fall. The aspen groves make it great for viewing fall foliage. The trailhead can be accessed at Glacier Gorge Trailhead off of Bear Lake Road near Estes Park. For a longer hike, continue onto either Mills Lake or The Loch. Both of these lakes make for a hike more than five miles roundtrip, but offer stunning mountain-lake views at the top.

B R I D A L V E I L FA L L S ( T E L L U R I D E ) At 365 feet in length, Bridal Veil Falls are the tallest free-falling falls in Colorado. To add to the scenery, the Smuggler-Union Hydroelectric Power Plants sits on top of the falls. The power plant was originally built in 1907 to power the Smuggler-Union Mine. To access the hike from Telluride, head to the east side of Box Canyon, and park at Valley View area parking.

From there, the easy to moderate hike is 1.8 miles each way. Take in the stunning views next to the privately-owned power plant, then continue on to Bridal Veil Basin.

CONTINENTAL FALLS & MOHAWK LAKE (BRECKENRIDGE) Just 2.4 miles south of Breckenridge is the Spruce Creek Tail, which leads to Upper Mohawk Lake. This 2.8-mile (roundtrip) moderate hike passes through steep switchbacks beside Continental Falls, the largest waterfall in the Breckenridge area, and cascades down three chasms on a rocky face. A good place to rest is by Mayflower Lakes, which include a set of charming old cabins and ruins from the mine that was once in the area.

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M O H AW K L A K E

H E L E N H U N T FA L L S ( C O L O R A D O S P R I N G S ) From Colorado Springs, head to North Cheyenne Cañon Park to the Helen Hunt Visitor’s Center for a short walk to view Helen Hunt Falls. For those who want to hike, start at Helen Hunt Falls and hike up a fourth of a mile to see Silver Cascade Falls, which are best when seen during parts of the year when water is flowing strong. For the more adventurous, the trailhead to the 1.7-mile hike to St. Mary’s Falls is just above Helen Hunt Falls.

HANGING LAKE (GLENWOOD SPRINGS) Known as one of Colorado’s most famous hikes, Hanging Lake gains its beauty from the flourishing hanging garden plant community and crystal clear waters. The lake can be reached in one short, steep mile. Although the hike is steep, the view at the top will not disappoint. Located 10 miles east of Glenwood Springs, the hike includes dramatic views of Glenwood Canyon, smaller waterfalls, and lush greenery. Once to the top, don’t forget to hike just a bit further to see Spouting Rock, a waterfall that pours through a natural hole in the cliff.

F I S H C R E E K FA L L S ( S T E A M B O AT S P R I N G S ) Considered one of the best hikes in Steamboat Springs, Fish Creek Falls is a great hike for any season. Open year round, this hike to the 280-foot falls offers dramatic views in the summer and great ice climbing in the winter.

The lower falls are just a fourth mile from the trailhead, but don’t stop there as upper Fish Creek Falls and Long Lake are still to come. (Keep in mind that the hike to upper Fish Creek Falls is a bit more strenuous.)

F O U R M I L E L A K E L O O P ( PA G O S A S P R I N G S ) Located in the Weminuche Wilderness, the moderate Four Mile Lake Loop hike offers 13.2 miles (roundtrip) worth of stunning views. The hike can be finished in one day, but is also good for a two-day backpacking trip.

Wildflowers, wildlife, lakes, and waterfalls are all on this hike while climbing 2,680 feet. The hike starts at around 9,000 feet so make sure to adjust to the altitude prior to takeoff.

H E L E N H U N T FA L L S

O H - B E -J OY F U L (C R EST E D B U T T E ) Crested Butte has no shortage of beautiful waterfall hikes, and Oh-Be-Joyful is one of the best. Only five miles north of Crested Butte, the Oh-Be-Joyful Falls can be seen on this 5.8-mile hike along with several other cascading waterfalls, lush greenery, and an excellent wildflower display throughout the trek. The easy to moderate trail passes through the scenic glacial valley next to the Ruby Range. Don’t forget to check out the small trail that veers off the main trail to the front of the waterfall before continuing on the hike up.

VA L L E C I T O C R E E K T R A I L ( D U R A N G O ) From Durango, take U.S. Highway 160 and head east for 18 miles to start the Vallecito Creek Trail hike. Follow the Vallecito Creek up to find many pools, which are great for fishing and waterfalls. This hike is both a great day hike (three miles one way) or can be turned into a four- to five-day (19.5 miles one way) backpacking trip. July and August are great times for this hike as the wildflowers in the alpine meadow are fully bloomed. This is also a great snowshoeing trail during the winter.

Z A PATA FA L L S ( A L A M O S A ) Zapata Falls was formed when South Zapata Creek wore a groove into the rugged rocks of the Sangre de Cristo mountain range. Today, this 30-foot waterfall has become one of the most popular hiking spots in the San Luis Valley. The hike begins at the Zapata Falls Campground entrance. The campground sits at an elevation of 9,000 feet and boasts a stunning panoramic view of the valley below. Guests can walk into the cavern to get an up close look at the falls, but are encouraged to do so with caution as the rocks are quite slippery. With views of the Great Sand Dunes from the parking lot and the waterfall just a short 1.5-mile walk up, this is a hike not to be missed.  R E A D Y T O G O ? F I N D M O R E G R E AT C O L O R A D O T R AV E L R E S O U R C E S AT C O L O R A D O . C O M Photos: Bridal Veil Falls – Colorado Tourism Office and Matt Inden. Mohawk Lake – Go Breck.

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SUMMER’S END SOIRÉE Aspen Gay Ski Week’s 2014 End of Summer Soiree was held on August 28 at the Four Seasons Hotel in downtown Denver. Despite overcast skies and the threat of rain, all the guests in attendance enjoyed cocktails on the terrance and a live DJ. Proceeds from the event benefited the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation was founded in 1998 by Dennis and Judy Shepard in memory of their 21-year-old son who was murdered in an anti-gay hate crime in Wyoming. For more information, please visit matthewshepard.org.

Aspen Gay Ski Week is a fundraising event for The Roaring Fork Gay and Lesbian Community Fund (RFGLCF). Money raised from Gay Ski Week goes to support various charities and beneficiaries both on the local and national platforms, such as the Matthew Shepard Foundation. For more information, please visitgayskiweek.com.

Photos by Charles Broshous

See more photos online at ofcnow.co/soiree14

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CALE N DAR

FABULOUS EVENTS FOR LGBT COLORADO & BEYOND

R I OT F EST DENVER

SEP 19 – 21

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ACTIVE MINDS:

SEP

ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

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After having some issues with securing a location, Riot Fest is returning to rock Denver for a second year in a row. Featuring huge names like The Cure, The Flaming Lips and Wu Tang Clan, Denver talent the Wiredogs and queer favorite Big Freedia, Riot Fest is the biggest event in Denver music this year.

BIG FREEDIA

Eleanor Roosevelt is one of the most famous, and perhaps sometimes infamous, first ladies in United States history. Learn more about this bold, outspoken woman, who may or may not have been “family,” with Active Minds- a group that meets regularly to explore and discuss both historical and contemporary social and political topics.

More info at denver.riotfest.org.

S E P 2 6 – N OV 3

More info at activeminds.com.

SAT

LORD OF THE FLIES

SEP

27

@SPACE THEATRE You surely read the book in high school (or maybe cheated and watched the film.) Now see the classic novel transformed on the live stage by our very own acclaimed Denver Theatre Company.

In case you have forgotten, “Lord of the Flies” tells the enthralling, heartbreaking, and gruesome tale of a group of teenaged boys stranded on a deserted island.

What begins as a blast of independence soon devolves into a harrowing struggle for survival and power.

Tickets & showtimes: denvercenter.org

PERFUME GENIUS @HI-DIVE, 7 S. BROADWAY, DENVER • 8:30PM

Out musician Mike Hadreas is the tortured, yet harrowingly beautiful, mind behind Perfume Genius. The singer/songwriter first captured the attention of LGBT audiences with his single “Hood.”

The music video, an understated and intimate piece that featured Hadreas romancing the late pornstar Arpad Miklos, caused controversy when YouTube was accused of removing the video for its gay content.

Perfume Genius will be touring through Denver in support of a new album, Too Bright.

More info at hi-dive.com

SUN

28

R AC E FOR THE CU R E SEP 28 & 29

P H A N TO G R A M

@PEPSI CENTER • 7AM Strap your sneaks on and pound some pavement for Susan G. Komen’s latest fundraising venture. Komen Colorado serves 22 counties in CO and aims to ensure quality care for women battling breast cancer. With a 5K race and a family fun walk, it’s good, all-ages fun for a great cause.

For race day details and to register, please visit komencolorado.org 24

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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 28 • 8PM: BOULDER THEATER MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 • 8PM: OGDEN THEATER Our editor bumps Phantogram into the Out Front office at least twice a week. Why? Because the music is nu-school trip-hop that’s sexy as hell, and the lead singer is (according to Berlin) “so very, very foyne.”

More info at phantogram.com.

PHOTO: TIMOTHY SACCENTI

SEP

THU

OCT

2

T H E 13 T H F L O O R @4120 BRIGHTON BLVD The haunted house on Brighton is hosting a special night for the Denver Gay Professionals, but all are invited to attend the event that’ll leave us screamin’ “BYE, FELICIA!” in unison.

More info at 13thfloorhauntedhouse.com

SAT

OCT

4

T H E T H I R D A N N UA L

P OW E R PA R T Y

@EXDO EVENTS, 1399 35TH ST., DENVER • 6PM Please join Out Front in celebrating LGBT and allied activists who made a powerful difference in our community this year.

Headliner Blake Lewis will be performing live! Don’t miss this powerful evening of music, fun, and community.

Purchase tickets at outfrontonline.com/power USE PROMO CODE “RHINO2014” FOR 10% OFF UNTIL 9/21/14.

THU

OCT

9

L O D O S I PS @VARIOUS LOCATIONS Sip, sample, and stroll your way through more than a dozen of LoDo’s unique taverns and brewpubs. A 21+ event.

Purchase tickets at lodo.org

SAT

OCT

11

M AT T H E W S H E PA R D F O U N DAT I O N

H O N O RS GA L A

@SEAWELL GRAND BALLROOM, DENVER PERFORMING ARTS COMPLEX • 5PM It’s been 15 years since the untimely passing of Matthew Shepard and the Matthew Shepard Foundation intends to honor his memory yet again in their annual Honors Gala. As if dinner and an auction weren’t exciting enough, this year, the brilliant, multi-faceted, and outand-proud Stephen Fry will accept the Making A Difference Award for his thirty years of LGBT advocacy.

Join the celebration!

Purchase tickets online at : MatthewShepard.org

P IONEERING O DYSSEO Rob Barger THERE IS SIMPLY NO ESCAPING THE HYPE AROUND “ODYSSEO” in Denver this month. Their marketing campaign is aggressive, and artistic director Normand Latourelle says that the billboards and bus signs are meant to be distinguished, original, and distinctive, just like “Odysseo.” I got the opportunity to sit with Mr. Latourelle, whose excitement surrounding the show he’s clearly worked so hard on was quite contagious. I found myself getting goosebumps as each question I asked was met with an enthusiastic and passionate answer.

You got your start in Cirque du Soleil.

Yes, I was there at the very beginning. I knew I wanted to get into the music industry, but I also wanted to revolutionize the way performing arts and music meshed. I used to tell people it was a circus without animals. In fact, I had to describe the shows using lots of negative language: It’s not a circus, though there are circus aspects. It’s not a musical, but it has elements of a musical. Because when you do something for the first time, it’s too difficult to describe something that people have never seen before.

So Odysseo is sort of in that same vein Yes, it’s very hard to describe. “Odysseo” is the world’s only 6-D show and it stars 62 horses and 46 artists.

Oh wow. What do you mean by 6-D? The show is very layered. It combines aspects of a movie with aspects of the theatre, but it is distinctly neither of those things. The movie portions are projected in a very 3-D way onto IMAX screens, creating depth, but there is also an actual forest on the stage. There’s a mountain, created with real sand and sculpted by bulldozers and plows which end up looking minuscule next to it. There are 173 motors, all moving seamlessly to create dimension, hoops for acrobats, a large carousel that lowers into the arena. We end up doing something I like to call the “big splash” where we fill the stage with 80,000 gallons of water. It’s a show that creates a landscape that creates a journey, and it integrates with the audience in a hypnotic way.

Describe the artistic direction of the show.

It’s inspired by my Canadian farm. I look out the window of that farm, and I see mountains and nature and horses, and it takes my breath away.

I wanted to bring that to the show. True beauty comes from nature, so I made the stage big enough for horses to have as much freedom as they wanted. I created something like a horse playground so I could recreate and reproduce natural behavior.

This interview continues online at ofcnow.co/X1z OUTFRONTONLINE.COM/ POWER

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WINE & DINE

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S PRUC E FA RM & F I S H Jeffrey Steen YEARS GO BY, AND RESTAURANTS FADE. Seasons change, and so do menus. But occasionally, the volley of history is captured together with the flavors of the future.

When done with grace and panache, even the most ambivalent find their appetite.

For a native Boulderite of any tenure, dining at the Hotel Boulderado is a necessity. And yes, the concepts have changed over the last 100 years — most recently taking shape in License No. 1, the subterranean speakeasy bar and lounge; and Spruce, a rebirth of former Q’s. But that doesn’t mean history has been lost.

To the contrary, in fact. Step into Spruce’s demure, verdant interior and you’ll find it’s not a rough departure from Q’s at all, but a refreshing new adventure that soaks in the stories of yesteryear. The gold crown moldings still adorn the ceiling; the stained glass still glows atop wide windows; original wooden beams stretch wall to wall; and the covered patio descends onto the sidewalk as it always has. This time, with a blush of green.

Simple and well-stated, the dining room is the perfect entrée to a reinvigorated menu. That menu is the creation of Chef Shawn Murrell, a five-year veteran of the Boulderado; he has taken pains to ensure that every dish rests happily in all things local and seasonal. The sea and the farm play well together, allowing for an Oyster Casino lead (the richness of bacon balances the kick of lemon-butter and the gentle crunch of toasted breadcrumbs), while mussels, crab, and tuna all make way in small plate indulgences. You could spend your entire meal on the ocean, if you were in the mood.

Classic American dishes are still front-and-center, without unnecessary banter. Why? When a Filet Mignon docks at your table, a Harris Ranch cut spiring atop potato gnocchi, covered with melting Gorgonzola cheese, what needs be said?

And while this has a tendency to steal the show, other main dishes Ok, so Spruce is locallyshare equally powerful inclined. What does that performances. The mean, anyway? It means Lemon-Caper Chicken, that as much product as for example, sports a possible is sourced within playful tang that’s a wonderful juxtaposition for earthy-salty Colorado’s four borders. truffle fries.

And don’t you dare step away from the table without several To wit, goat cheese hails from Haystack Mountain, bites of the inimitable desserts — two in particular. First: the famed farm Hazel Dell individual Bing Cherry Pie, a sweet and crunchy decadence with the provides the many shades bite of one-of-a-kind fresh cherries. To be honest, I’d be content to of mushroom, Boulder Ice eat nothing but the crust — a flaky, buttery, sugar-dressed canvas Cream domes several desfor any fruit the season offers. I even tried to get the recipe, but such things are kept secret for a reason. serts, and Golden’s Oxford Gardens offers up a healthy If you crave chocolate, then the Flourless Chocolate Cake is dose of produce for salads a must. I know what you’re imagining — a dense, fudgy wedge and vegetable dishes. dredged in powdered sugar. Not so. Pastry Chef Alex Hindman has That’s just the beginning, done right by this classic dessert, delivering immense chocolateness with actual cake-like consistency, a caramel contrast, and a of course. If you’re intercap of sweet crème fraîche. ested in the source behind To drink, you ask? The classic cocktails are all in attendance, the menu’s goodies, just but try your palate on something new, for heaven’s sake. On the peruse the menu — it’s a who’s who of what’s what summer evenings when the pulsing sun lingers, a lemonade-andin the Colorado farm scene. vodka Vespa is what the season demands. And come the dreaded winter, when warmth is welcomed in any form, the bourbon-rich Chaitini sparks and soothes from every side.

When the end of the meal finally comes, License No. 1 — formerly Catacombs — is the ideal denouement. Settle in for a song, a sip, and a bit of reflection, because nothing beats the flavor and flair of the Boulderado, then and now.  Spruce is located at 2115 13th Street in Boulder.

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MARQUEE

Lilting

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riter and director Hong Khaou’s feature film “Lilting” is simple, tender, and touching.

Reviewing it is an exercise in restraint: There is a temptation to laud its beauty with waving arms and voluptuous terms. The story is simple with very human complications and unexpectedly real sparks of humor amid loss, grief, and frustration.

This well-composed story is solidly human.

Richard (Ben Whishaw) and Kai (Andrew Leung) are boyfriends who live in London. Kai longs to come out to his mother Junn (Pei-pei Cheng), who he placed in a retirement home until he and Richard can find a larger flat to have her live with them. Kai has not told her he is gay.

Suddenly, Kai is removed and Richard goes to Junn to try and connect. Junn expresses enough resentment and iciness that it appears she is jealous of Richard’s relationship with her son and the attention he took from her. Moms always know at some level.

The obstacles are believable in scale and difficulty, and none of the film’s progress relies on cinematic convenience. First a translator is needed, as Junn speaks no English. Then there is the minefield of Richard explaining his feelings

WETLANDS The German film “Wetlands” revolves around Helen who is 18, sexy, tomboyish, and very aware of her body. (She has hemorrhoids and talks about them, and likes to masturbate with vegetables — not a standard fantasy of young womanhood.) Her sexual encounters with men and women show that Helen will have what she wants when she feels like it, with whomever she finds interesting.

“Wetlands” plays at the Mayan Theater for one week only beginning Friday, September 12. Over 18 only! (Americans are still frightened by crotches.)

For m o re i n fo r m at i o n , visit LandmarkTheatres.com.

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as he navigates what Junn knows, suspects — or denies — and what he should tell her. Richard is often tempted to unload on her, but reveres Kai too much to risk destroying any chance for a connection.

Actor Andrew Leung’s character Kai is everpresent in the film, seamlessly interacting with Junn and Richard. Khaou’s vision and Leung’s performance bring lightness and understanding to the deep affection by those who love him.

Cheng delivers a believable performance as an elder woman struggling as she feels control slipping from her grasp. Richard bears a great deal of her frustration, yet a part of her realizes he is her last connection to her son.

Ben Whishaw adds another strong performance to his resume that includes “Perfume,” “Bright Star,” and “I’m Not There.” He’s a convincing actor who fully inhabits characters. The closer the camera draws and the more hushed the dialogue, the more riveting his performance.

The word “lilting” indicates gentle movement, and it’s an apt title for this film that wraps its arms around viewers and speaks softly.  “Lilting” will play exclusively at Landmark Theaters. landmarktheatres.com

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most people within the community know that’s not how it usually goes.

[WARNING: ADULT CONTENT]

BEYOND BONDAGE

You’ve been a performer in porn, but you are also a director, writer, sex positive educator, and artist with your own performance space. Which hat feels most natural right now?

I’m an artist, and the way I explain it is all of those different mediums are like learning another language — French, Spanish, German, and learning to love all of those languages. They are all ways I communicate. They stimulate different parts of my body and give way to different forms of expression.

Madison Young refuses to be tied down by definition Kristin Ziegler BDSM porn queen Madison Young is used to being naked and raw in both her work as a feminist porn icon and performance artist, but with her new revealing memoir, “Daddy,” fans can get an even more intimate glimpse into the life of one of queer porn’s most influential stars.

Speaking to Out Front about her book, Young also shares with us her earliest sexual fantasies, thoughts on “50 Shades of Grey,” and how to feel as sexy as a porn star.

You were featured in an episode of HBO’s “Real Sex.” That show has a place in my heart — my very first experience with porn was sneak-watching that show at slumber parties after the parents were out. What was your first experience with porn?

My first porn experiences were probably more nontraditional, like comic books. I was a big fan of Catwoman, so Catwoman and Wonder Woman were some of my first masturbatory materials.

And then I really liked magazines, as far as porn went. I love books, I love magazines, I love the tactile experience. I also enjoyed going to the porn stores to look at magazines. It’s kind of like you have to take a deep breath and say, “Okay, I’m going into semen zone, I’m taking up space, and I’m in here because I own my sexuality and I have a right to look at these images, too!”

You talked about having to be brave and liberated in your sexuality and learning to take up or claim your space in porn, which ties into queer sexuality. I know you identify as queer, so what does that mean to you?

Well, queer means many things to me. It’s social, political, and sexual. The people I have been in relationships with or am attracted to span all genders.

My connection with an individual is based on the individual, not their genitalia.

Also, the kind of sex I like to have is “queer” because it is my identity. It’s part of my gender, it’s part of my sexuality. I like very kinky sex, I like sex where there is a lot of intensity and connection. The way that I have sex is very queer even if the person I am having sex with doesn’t identify as queer.

Would you say you’ve always been a sexual person or would your porn career blow your teenaged self’s mind?

My porn career would definitely blow my teenaged self’s mind simply because I grew up in a not very sex-positive environment. I knew from a very young age the feelings and desires I had were not things I was supposed to talk about; they involved tingling in parts of my body I wasn’t supposed to acknowledge existed. And I also didn’t see many same-sex couples growing up in southern Ohio, so I was very removed from the queer community.

That was really challenging, growing up feeling ‘other,’ but it also created the necessity for me to be a dreamer, because it was dreams that kept me 32

alive. So I developed these worlds where I could see myself as older, and beautiful, and with a woman I loved. And creating those worlds is what we do as artists. I developed a very active imagination, and I think it really helped in my becoming an artist.

And speaking of creating worlds, you certainly let us into yours with your new memoir, “Daddy.” What inspired you, and made you feel comfortable enough to share your story with your fans?

My motto has always been “to reveal all, fear nothing.” Going back to that girl in Ohio, I did grow up in a space that had a lot of shame about bodies, sexuality, and that connection, so the work I do is to create a space for people to be their authentic selves. So much in our society tries to mold us, but we are all individuals and all different. Speaking and living out loud about who we are can be so empowering, and I can’t teach others to do that if I can’t do it myself.

But there were definitely elements of this book that were scary to delve into, things I hadn’t gone public with. It was very fresh stuff that I hadn’t yet created work about, like my partner’s sobriety and some of our relationship troubles. People sometimes think that if you are some sex hero, you can’t have troubles in your relationships. But that’s not true — all relationships have challenges. And every individual has their own challenges.

Working behind and in front of the cameras since 2002, you must have seen a lot of change within the industry, especially in regard to social media. How do you keep up?

Having lots of young interns around! It’s difficult.

I’ve been on Twitter since maybe 2007, and keeping up with everything that has popped up since, like Tumblr and Instagram, can be challenging. The way we are consuming media now is very different.

It’s all about seeing how people want to consume their media.

In 2011, you took on another role: mother. How has motherhood changed your ideas on sexuality, if it has at all?

I have definitely changed a lot. It’s a very transformative experience, and it’s a constant learning experience. I teach a lot of workshops now around motherhood and sexuality, much of it is advocating for body and self love. I performed all the way through my pregnancy. I’m 5’2” and usually about 120 to 125 lbs., but at nine months I was 180. I remember being exactly nine months pregnant in L.A. and performing with an 18-year-old girl who weighs, like, 99 lbs. And I was like, “I can’t even see my p*ssy anymore, but I am going to own this. I am going to teach this girl how to f*ck!”

What are some tips you have for the everyday woman or man about learning to love and Is there anything you think embrace their bodies? will really shock your readers Affirmations are great. Just look to know? in the mirror and tell yourself, I have a fairly vast readership “I am beautiful, I am worthy of everyone from moms in the of pleasure.” Masturbation is midwest who just picked up “50 a huge one. That’s a great way MADISON YOUNG to start to feel pleasure in your Shades of Grey” to people who own body again, which makes have followed my porn career.

I think people expected it to be all about my femi- it easier to share it with others.

Especially for moms, taking time for self-care. nist porn or BDSM, but the book really follows a specific journey. It investigates and explores this Take a bath, take a long run, go get your favorite relationship with “daddy,” with the father figure, ice cream. We need to refill our container of self with family, and with chosen family — which, love and energy so we can give it back.

And sexy lingerie! Dita Von Teese’s line even chosen family is a very queer concept. has a really sexy nursing bra.

So, “50 Shades of Grey.” Love it or shove it?

It, personally, is not for me. I’m not a fan. I directed Finally, though it shouldn’t feel “guilty,” a lot of people a film called “50 Shades of Dylan Ryan” which is call porn their “guilty pleasure.” What are some of your a feminist critique of “50 Shades.” I feel like the guilty pleasures? woman who wrote it is not familiar with BDSM. I enjoy chocolate. I definitely do enjoy sugar, The relationship is not complex and layered, and and caffeine.  the characters come off as really damaged and broken in a way that doesn’t feel super healthy. I To learn more about Young’s art or to check out also like really strong submissives. There is this her book, “Daddy,” please visit: trope about submissives being really weak, but daddythememoir.wordpress.com.

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9 Divine Questions with Missy Suicide Kristin Ziegler WITH STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL WOMEN PAINTED UP in dark eyeliner and inked from head-to-toe, the popular pin-up website devoted to the Suicide Girls can be intimidating.

Its founder, however, is anything but.

A beauty herself and an incredibly savvy business woman, Missy Suicide speaks in a charmingly gentle voice and is immediately affable. “We are so looking forward to starting the tour in Denver,” is one of the first things Missy cheerfully says to Out Front. She generously riffed on beauty tips and the nudie cutie website from which she spun an empire.

Is it true that I am chatting with you on SG’s lucky 13th birthday? A run like that is no joke. How are you feeling?

You know, time has gone by so quickly. It feels like it all just started yesterday, but looking back on it, at all the amazing people who have come into my life, I feel really lucky and at home.

Do you have any big celebration plans?

We should have something for 13, but it snuck up on us a little bit!

Suicide Girls was established to celebrate alternative beauty, or as SG itself puts it, “Beauty redefined.” What do you think makes a woman “beautiful?”

She’s confident, graceful, and fiercely independent. That’s what beauty is.

The term ‘suicide girls’ is about women who choose to commit social suicide for refusing to fit into a box. And a lot of people ask me things like, “How many tattoos does it take to be a Suicide Girl?” As many and as few as you want! There is no quota. It’s not X (color of hair) by Y (number of tattoos) divided by Z (number of piercings) equals being a Suicide Girl. We are all about breaking the rules by being yourself.

A number of your models are lesbians or bisexual. In what unique ways do queer-identified women contribute to SG’s definition of “beauty?”

The host of our upcoming burlesque tour is actually out. There is definitely a wide range of beautiful women on our site. We’ve got some sets that are kind of drag king and then we have some girls who are super girly — we have everything you can imagine and some in between.

Suicide Girls have been described as the “daughters of Bettie Page.”

Who are some modern day sex symbols you love?

Rihanna is really sexy and unapologetically so. Miley Cyrus. Well … not in her Hannah Montana days, but now. Diablo Cody. Yo-Landi Vi$$er from Die Antwoord. Scarlett Johansson. Ellen Page is awesome. Zoe Kravitz. Dita Von Teese is beautiful. And Christina Hendricks ... when she walks into the room, all the dialogue and set can just fade away, and it’s like this bawdy, boudoir music comes on as she’s walking — at least that’s how it happens in my fantasies.

The girls on the site are, of course, incredibly gorgeous. What beauty tips do you have for the everyday woman wanting to bring out her inner Suicide Girl?

I think confidence is the sexiest attribute anyone can have. If you feel beautiful, others will think you are beautiful. I know it sounds simplistic, but people respect confidence and respond to it. I always feel better with lipstick. I could be a complete wreck, but a little bit of lipstick can make me feel put together. And a clean pair of shoes!

If Suicide Girls had a theme song, what would it be?

Well, Belle and Sebastian wrote a song about us. That was quite the honor.

You’re kicking the next Suicide Girls burlesque tour off in Denver.

Why here?

We played Denver last year, and it was the craziest sold-out show ever.

And then we played the Cannabis Cup, and the girls really had a good time there! We wanted to kick off the tour on the west coast, and it was just the perfect city.

What can people expect on this tour?

A lot of pop-culture references. If you’re a geek at heart, you’ll just melt. 

The Suicide Girls’ Blackheart Burlesque tour will kick off in Denver at The Summit Music Hall on October 14. For more information about Suicide Girls or the tour, visit suicidegirls.com.

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WHAT transwomen TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE WORLD IN GENERAL in our lives into a fulfilling and sunny territory. Hannah reinvigorated my sense of self. “You’re such a tomboy,” she’d say, summoning my ire. Then: “That’s not a bad thing, you know.” I guess not. She taught me that I should *Names changed to protect the amazing. be proud of myself, and showed me how through living out loud. Seeing her ver the course of my adult life — the part that includes paying rent, throw her shoulders back and give the proverbial finger to the world gave anyway — I’ve had the pleasure of rooming with two transwomen. And me the dose of “yeah, me too!” that I needed. She was always encouraging I don’t say pleasure because it’s a corny formality you toss into some text to and some of her positive observations on my life in general stay with me gloss over a so-so experience. No. I genuinely mean that with the addition to this day.

As well, we are still friends … for the most part, anyway. We’re cordial, of those days, I have warm memories (and an arsenal of enlightenment) that let’s say. Certain things transpired that may or may not have been my fault have made my life richer.

The first was a month-long roomiedom with Allie*, a transchick who, at — we’ll go with the former, which is usually the case.

26, was a social worker in SmallTown, Georgia. I’d known But in spite of their (seemingly) incessant optimism, her a short while, having met her through a mutual friend, there was an extremely dark side to both their lives. As and always viewed her as something of an enigma. She I learned that Hannah kept strong as they were and as much fortitude as they wore on their properly pressed sleeves, time exposed a few chinks was whip-smart, but reserved about it. She was serious her unemployment from about justice, but hated cops. She was riotously funny, but in their pastel armor that I respectfully pretended not to me after her boss became notice, but carried around like a wet blanket on my heart. hardly ever laughed aloud. But for that month, while I was gaining my “sea legs” in SmallTown — and while my loft in too uncomfortable with her What I learned goes a little somethin’ like this: her building was being finalized — she took me under her From drive-through windows to the waiting room of the handling the front desk “in generous wing and showed me in a quiet way that there’s ER, people would openly stare at my transpals in disgust. I’ve women’s clothes.” so much more to womanhood than gender. (I was young never seen anyone so in the spotlight of hatred everywhere and had never met anyone who bucked their assignment she walked, never known such rampant contempt without so vehemently. It fit in perfectly with the “f*ck the system” provocation. It’s made me mindful of (and thankful for) my mentality I was un-charmingly a part of back then.) She was a refined woman ability to engage the world in even the smallest of ways without inadvertently … a proper Southern lady, even, who taught me that you “neva chug red “inviting” loathsome eyes to loathe me for having the audacity to be alive. I wine, swear without damn good reason, or let the cops anywhere near your learned respect of the highest order for the transwoman, for in our world, going from what the world perceives as male and “stepping down” into the stuff without a warrant.”

We’re friends to this day, more than fifteen years and many states later. female presentation subjects one to the most frenzied of irrational judgments The second transchick roomie I had put up with my ass for two whole by nearly everyone — regardless of race, gender, or orientation. years, the poor thing. There was a sudden “omg, this breakup means I need And then there was the darkness that showed up in our homes. a roommate fast!” situation in my life and Hannah* couldn’t have come at I learned the reason that the absurdly funny Allie didn’t laugh aloud was a better time. Combine a short interview with the spreading of her security because she thought her particular variety of guffawing sounded manly … deposit over the first three months and voila: I had a new roomie who was so she trained herself to keep the laughter close to the vest, and to stifle it just as fresh off the strugglebus as I was. So at the very least, we had misery in her hands if she absolutely had to let it out. in common, which actually came in shorter and shorter supply the more I learned that Hannah kept her unemployment from me after her boss we got to know one another. She was a piano and guitar player; I was a became too uncomfortable with her handling the front desk “in women’s drummer. Once she got her rig set up next to my Ludwigs, it was musical clothes.” I didn’t know it for months, but she was actually out looking for bliss each night when we got home from work and popped a few bottle caps. work, which explained all those days she came home sweaty and exhausted, We wrote music together, had the same macabre sense of humor, haunted her aura colored in a hue I couldn’t quite place and felt intrusive to even try. the lesbian bar on the weekends, play-fought over Redbox selections, and I learned that Allie didn’t have “big cases to deal with” during the holidays; generally just BFF-ed up and catapulted one another from a bleak terrain she was simply not welcome home after she transitioned. I also learned that Berlin Sylvestre

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cruelly, she was sent holiday cards with family portraits that discluded her … little portraits that she kept anyway, because those were people she still loved.

I learned that Hannah put the blame squarely on herself when we didn’t get the place we were so confident was ours before our relocation. I learned that she stopped going with me on house-hunts because she was “holding us back” from housing in the conservative Atlanta ’burbs. If I could hide her, our lives would be better off, she informed me.

I learned that Hannah cried each time the brand-new boyfriend tried to forcefully explore the parts of her that were still “male,” and that the awkward times he left in such a huff those weekday mornings weren’t because he was “upset about going in to work.”

I learned that Allie always rented those sappy movies because, for the first time in years, she was able to cry and it felt amazing to her. She confided in me that even at her mother’s funeral, she couldn’t cry in spite of wanting nothing more but to release the pain inside. She attributed the tears to the hormones and she loved it, therefore she never skipped an opportunity to get a good sob in … and I immediately stopped teasing her about it, humiliated by my unintentional callousness.

I learned that one roomie had “acI learned that the soul cidentally fallen in love” with me, and of womankind rests that I devastated her each time I entercomfortably and confidently tained another woman at our place, behind the eyes. which in turn devastated me when she divulged the truth about why she was being weird months later. I learned that, as open-minded as I liked to fashion myself, this would send me into a tailspin of emotions as I put off giving reasons I couldn’t return the sentiment. I became distant, unsure of the next move and afraid to send the wrong signals. ‘Am I being transphobic to say I don’t feel the same way?’ I asked myself, berating me throughout the process. ‘Does the fact that it’s not mutual stem from that awful place?’

It’s a question I still can’t answer to this day … and that’s another matter I welcome a conversation about. I almost need it, to be honest.

But above all the dark epiphanies, the lesson most learned is a beautiful one. I learned that the soul of womankind rests comfortably and confidently behind the eyes. Whereas the newness of trans territory, the very idea that gender identity was separate from anything physical threw me at first, I found myself unable to see anything but women as we grew into one another’s comfort. From where I began — a naive young thing who was admittedly confused by terms and ideas regularly — I transitioned into an enlightened and inspired woman with a perspective unlike that of many others who have lived longer and stranger lives. And I still stumble through terminology once in awhile … I still find lightbulbs going off above my head at points I’d never pondered here and there. There’s just so much to learn about everything in this life. But I’ve got a hell of a start, and I have their patience to thank, their friendship to brag about. 

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I N T H E S P OT L I G H T: J E N N I F E R G H O R M L E Y Jennifer Ghormley is a working artist who employs a variety of techniques in the translation of ideas into works of art. She received an MFA in 2006 from University of Nebraska – Lincoln, and a BFA in 2002 from Metropolitan State University of Denver. She exhibits through national juried shows, teaches for Art Students League, and national organizations. Jennifer is a current resident artist at Redline Gallery.

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BUSTING OUT: Smashing Feminist Myths Kristin Ziegler

D

olly Parton once said, “I was the first woman to burn my bra. It took the fire department four days to put it out.” And while the days of feminist bra burnings are over — not that they were ever really an actual thing, because they were maybe a fire hazard and definitely silly — the trope refuses to burn out.

Below are five other pesky feminist stereotypes we should also pull the extinguisher on.

“Male privilege” and “the patriarchy” are just academic feminist codes for “we hate all men — you, our dads, brothers, priests, boyfriends, husbands, and our own first-born male sons.”

Well, maybe some priests, but only those who dare challenge our right to love whomever we love or access to reproductive medical care.

Feminists do not hate men. On the contrary, men are important in our battle for safety from abuse, equality in the workplace, and dignity in all we do. That’s what feminism is, but some dudes won’t take our lady-feminist word for it. Feminist men can be a powerful tool (not to, like, objectify you guys or anything) in communicating that injustice and inequality do exist to their fellow brothers reluctant to listen.

Of course, feminists don’t just like men because they can help further our “agenda.” You know, some of our best friends are men!

Feminists hate makeup, plastic surgery, pushup bras, skinny women, diet, exercise, or anything else that might even only kind of relate to the Cosmopolitan magazine definition of beauty.

Although the topic of beauty can be a contentious one, many feminists would agree that the ultimate goal in one’s life is to discover, embrace, live, and be empowered by their authentic selves. If your true self is fake-tanned, fake blonde, lips pumped up into permanent duck face, and cheek implants that look like they could open cans on a camping trip, you can still be a feminist (and you might be Donatella Versace). And remember, Gloria Steinem is pals with and a supporter of the aforementioned Dolly Parton. Case closed.

On that note, feminists hate Cosmopolitan magazine?

Ask any little well-off suburban girl where she learned what a “clitoris” is (and 150 wild ways to stimulate it!) and she will probably tell you it was from her Mommy’s old Cosmos.

Credit where credit is due, Cosmo and similar magazines do talk frankly about many women’s

issues that have been previously taboo. These are certainly not written for the feminist academic, as they might say. These magazines have published some “problematic” content, but perhaps we can all agree magazines like Cosmo can be a fabulous stepping stone. Today it’s “100 creative sex positions to try TONIGHT” (phew), and tomorrow might be “100 creative ways to smash the patriarchy.”

Women are already equal, so feminists are beating a dead horse.

Well, the U.N. disagrees with you.

Writing that “no nation treats its women as well as its men,” the examples of injustices faced by women are harrowing. Women face professional obstacles such as lower pay than male colleagues; having to fight to “prove themselves” to their employers that they can be mothers and valuable employees; violence on both the streets and in the home; unequal access to healthcare because women are more likely to live in poverty and/or not be taken seriously by medical professionals; the list goes on. We still need feminism.

In a similar vein, stop with the argument that “feminism isn’t interesting or the most important issue.” You may have a one-track mind, but many of us are intellectually capable of caring and learning about many issues at the same time. Really.

Feminists are smokin’ hot.

This isn’t actually a common feminist myth, but it should be. Feminists are self-assured, sassy, smart, and confident. Is there anything more beautiful? 

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SEXUAL CENSORSHIP AND SLUTSHAMING Alison Wisneski EVERYBODY HAS A WEAKNESS. My weakness is completely and utterly obsessing over celebrity gossip. The facts come in handy for the errant offhand question a coworker will ask or for any form of pub trivia, but as of late the facts have changed.

Lately, I find myself defending women like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Lena Dunham, and Kim Kardashian simply based on the fact that some folks out there have decided they need to “cover up.” A few months ago, before graduating with my master’s degree, I got in a tiff with a professor who told me that though they’re in support of feminist liberation, they don’t believe anonymous sex and Beyoncé’s VMA performance and clothing choice were evidence of sexual liberation. I made sure to ask more about the professor’s knowledge of Bey and Jay’s personal life, along with the assumptions placed on her body because of what she chooses to wear (or not wear). With no response given that wasn’t coated in slut-shaming, the fight was only apparent in my grade at the end of the course.

In our recent history, we find a public divided on topics of nude photos on a cloud, twerking, and big booties; and in past years we can see evidence of assumptions placed on women’s bodies that surpass just J. Lo and “The Dress.” Heck, Jezebel spoke on what they believe to be the most ancient of slut-shaming — that of Cleopatra by the Roman Empire working under Augustus: “According to [Duane A.] Roller and his research, Cleopatra was the target of one of the very first negative PR campaigns … the salacious facts about who she slept with, the magic spells she conjured, and questions about who fathered her children were all designed to remove focus from the indisputable facts of her reign.”

This means feminists are working to defend sexual liberation against an incredibly long supremacy of ancient history telling us to cover up our bodies … and if we don’t? History will write us in as sluts.

Buried deep in the fear of talking about LGBTQ issues is a fear that many folks who don’t identify on the spectrum espouse: How do queer bodies work? How do they … do it?

It’s really easy for people who don’t want to talk about sexuality to run to their safety nets to avoid it: the Bible says it’s wrong; men and women physically fit together and anything else just doesn’t make sense; lesbians just haven’t found the right man yet; gay men just want to be women; transgender 38

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people must have been abused as children; bisexual people are just slutty.

These are all excuses we’ve heard that truly hide the reality of our situation as queer people: What we do is against the grain, and if we attempt to show our bodies, we’ll force people to face their big fear.

But I named a group of women above who, as far as my knowledge goes, identify as straight. What do they have to do with all of this LGBTQ liberation?

Feminism knows no bounds and, unfortunately, we live in a pretty heteronormative society that has the straight, white, affluent men telling us what to do, how to be, and who to act like. Those moguls choose women like Bey, Nicki, Lena, and Kim to be on our TVs and in our magazines and that means they’re going to tell us what’s normal. When we have these women moving toward a world of sexual liberation, it means they have the option to shift society’s viewpoint. For every one of these women taking it off and baring it for us, we have hundreds of people who tell them to cover it up for multiple reasons: My children are awake to watch this! I have morals! I don’t need to see “all that” hanging out! Her body is unrealistic! She sets poor ideals of what is okay for young girls!

Instead of running to the “I don’t wanna see it” defense, I ask people to view statistics surrounding unwanted teen pregnancy. According to Colorado Youth Matter, Colorado’s rate of births to teens ages 10 – 19, though declining, was still at 6,648 in 2008. When we censor topics like sex, we’re also censoring the topics that surround it — sexual health, sexual education, and, you guessed it, sexuality. Hiding such an integral part of our lives in fear of embarrassment or out of confusion based on how we were raised as kids has only proven negative. So what can we do?

Let’s talk about sex. Let’s allow women to showcase themselves as they see fit. Let’s talk about liberation in realistic ways, because it’s 2014 and we legally can. Let’s get down and dirty with the down and dirty instead of shaming it into a back corner, because the more we do that, the more lives will be affected by STIs and unwanted pregnancies and shame surrounding sexual attraction toward others. 

Alison Wisneski is pursuing an MA in Social Change from the Iliff School of Theology. She focuses on relationship building and organizing those to rally around LGBTQ visibility and equality, currently within the United Methodist Church. When she’s not writing for class or on LGBTQ issues, she enjoys spending time with her musician wife and their cat and dog.

[WARNING: ADULT CONTENT]

Let’s Get Physical

Denver-based physicist rides our wavelength with a groundbreaking new sex toy the strap-on’s harness. The computer, reading the speed and strength of contact, responds by here’s a physicist in Denver who makes sex vibrating directly in accordance. “Ultimately, toys. Think about that. There’s a gentlemen it’s all just pressure changes on the outside of whose passion (and degree) rests in the relation- the dildo, which is what touch is.”

So let’s say you’re wearing the device and ship between our world and the way it reacts/ responds with the physicalities therein … and your lover gently strokes the shaft. In turn, he’s making sex toys for us in a lab off South you’re going to get a gentle vibration to your Broadway. Kinky-sexy-cool, we know. most sensitive bits in real time. Perhaps Lover “Do you know what the is giving you a particuSybian is?” Dr. X. Treme — larly zealous round of oral, you kinky things: as he’s wont to be called The Ambrosia is going — the CEO and co-founder of Orgasmatronics asks to send a strong, pulsing me, leaning back precaristream of shivers down ously in a chair, every bit your arching little spine. as casual (yet kinda punk During its research rock) as I wasn’t expectphase, Ambrosia testers ing. Because I watched raved … and so did the crowdsourcers. In its the uncensored version of “The Howard Stern first week of fundraising Show” as a youth, I was on Indiegogo.com, the familiar with the knobby, team at Orgasmatronics vibrating saddle known reached the necessary as the Sybian. Many an $32,000 to start produc*ahem* ... upcoming tion of the Ambrosia. At porn starlet straddled the a consecutive $50,000, trembling crotch-cradle they were able to upgrade and momentarily lost their harness to an Aslan her composure for our Leather Stealth Harness viewing pleasure. that’s not only vegan, but “Well the Sybian’s BPA- and phthalate-free. huge. It’s expensive, it’s “People in the know tell enormous, and it shakes me Aslan is the best of THE AMBROSIA VIBE the best,” he says. The the whole house.” He puts his chair back on all fours. “But people love it! Ambrosia itself is made of medical-grade siliThey say, ‘It’s amazing! It’s intense, deep stimula- cone for the soft stuff, and ABS plastic for the tion!’ But as a physics guy, I’m going, ‘Yeah, but hard stuff. “ABS is what legos are made of,” do you really need that extra 30 pounds, and says Dr. X. At the time of printing, the campaign can we do all that without a gigantic motor?’” had more than doubled the amount they were He had an epiphany one evening watching asking for. some lesbian strap-on porn. (Haven’t we all?)

“I think it really speaks to the sexual diversity “The way the strap-on is used is unlike any of the product,” he says, noting that it’s been his other sex toy — it’s a psychological extension mission to reach across all aisles when developof the body that serves as a body-metaphor,” he ing the Ambrosia Vibe.

“This isn’t just for women,” Dr. X is quick to says. “A strap-on sort of ... tricks the brain into sensation.” True to the ways of the scientist, the remind. “Men are becoming more comfortable doc went after the next level: Why not, instead being penetrated. This is a nice addition to any of tricking the brain into sensation, generate bedroom.” A really modern and chill guy, the doc actual sensation during strap-on sessions? is vindicated by the interest from the LGBT comAnd why not make it interactive with your munity. “The lesbian interest was obvious, but sexual partner? for transmen especially, I see this as beneficial.”

Thus, his brainchild, the Ambrosia Vibe, was Dr. X has given thought to a round-the-clock placed on the operating table of the now-defunct wearable apparatus that can go from soft to Concoctory (see page 10 for deets on the former rigid on command, but is keeping that idea hackerspace) waiting for a monetary bolt of under his hat for now. He will hint that it has lightning. Thanks to IndieGogo, it struck … and to do with the mesmerizing properties of liquid crystals, and credits the idea to another brilliant the Ambrosia vibrated to life.

Here’s how it works: Running down the shaft mind with a penchant for creation — the lovely of the bionic strap-on is a cavity that contains Ma’Belle — but stops there.

The Ambrosia Vibe is available for pre-order, an internal tube. “Both are at atmospheric pressure, same as the pressure all around us,” and Orgasmatronics plans to start shipping somethe doc explains. The tube relays any sort of time in October.  changes in pressure (touching, sucking, stroking, for examples) to a small computer attached to Learn more at orgasmatronics.com.

Berlin Sylvestre

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Kelsey Lindsey

I T R EA L LY I S T H AT P I M P L E

It always happens with a bump. A tiny red spot that seems to morph into a range of fiery red anthills on my chin.

Acne. You would think a full-time job and my own cell phone plan would qualify me old enough to escape the embarrassment of trying to cover up the skin of a 13 year old. But alas, my glands just couldn’t give me the satisfaction of graduating out of puberty.

At least not yet.

‘Adult acne is a common problem,’ I remind myself while staring down an impending bulge that appears JUST IN TIME FOR A DATE. Dermatologists estimate that nearly 30 percent of women and 20 percent of men over the age of 20 still see the occasional breakout. And while it can put a damper on your topmodel ambitions (hey, there’s always Photoshop), there are many ways to treat and cover that nasty acne. So don’t hide yourself over a tiny bump in the road; with a little care and makeup you can put your best face forward any day of the week.

SOME CAUSES OF ACNE The culprit of acne will vary depending on your skin type, but many breakouts are caused by an overproduction of androgens or estrogen. For women, different birth controls, pregnancy, and menopause may be the trigger, as

well as cosmetics or environmental conditions. Researchers have found that stress has a direct relationship to adult acne, and some people may have a predisposition for acne due to genetics.

TREATMENT It’s tempting, I know it is, but almost every dermatologist will advise you to refrain from popping that pimple, no matter how unsightly it is. Doing so can lead to infection, scarring, and even more acne. Maintain a regular regimen for treatment, including gentle cleansing and perhaps a retinol cream prescribed by a dermatologist.

Avoid using hot water, a washcloth, or washing for an extended amount of time, as all three practices have the tendency to further irritate skin.

Many acne cleansers are geared toward treating teenage acne, and can be a bad choice for adult skin.

Cetaphil and Aquanil are gentle cleansers recommended by dermatologists, but outside of these brands look for the terms “non-acnegenic,” “oil-free,” and “won’t clog pores” on labels. If traditional over-the-counter skin care products are unsuccessful, consider seeing your dermatologist. He or she may be able to prescribe you an oral antibiotic like clindamycin or tetracycline. A dapsone gel may help reduce redness and infection. 

BIRMINGHAM? NO, BURNING MAN.

If a drag queen gets drunk in the middle of a desert, does she still make a sound?

Nuclia Waste | Radioactive Vision YES, BUT IT’S NOT PRETTY. I was one of the fortunate 70,000 people to acquire a ticket to this year’s Burning Man festival in Nevada at the end of August. I was not, however, the drag queen mentioned above. (I leave all my drag at home when I go.) The event is my escape from the everyday “default world” and a chance to experience a world of magic and creativity.

Plus, there’s the dust — lots and lots of dust. The temporary Black Rock City is constructed on an ancient dried-up seabed. The dust blows back and forth between the surrounding mountains and coats everything you bring with a fine white saline powder. Sparkly sequins and fabulous hair will not stay that way for long.

So I was surprised to learn that Willam, the disqualified contestant from “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” was performing at the GlamCocks camp.

The GlamCocks are a group of gay burners with chapters in San Francisco, New York, Los Angeles, and Sydney. Along with Willam, they brought along Australian pop-diva Courtney Act to perform at their Tuesday night party.

One thing you need to know about Burning Man is that nothing is for sale. It’s a sharing economy.

So people build camps, set up bars and nightclubs, and everything is shared. Booze is poured freely (as long as you are over 21) and it’s BYOC ­— bring your own cup. In my opinion, Willam must have had a 40

very large cup and put it to use all day. By the time she hit the stage, she was a hot mess. Instead of singing her songs, she talked and screeched at the audience over her soundtracks. There’s nothing uglier than a drunk drag queen. Bless her heart.

Burning Man itself is an amazing experience.

This was my third time.

I describe it as “beyond reason, with unlimited creativity.” There are times when you’re riding your bike through thick dust storms (cars are not to be driven once you arrive) and you can’t even see your hand in front of your face. But once the dust clears, there are amazing art installations and sculptures like nothing you have ever seen.

Many are interactive and some, jungle gyms of fun.

The art and afternoon dances at camps Pink Mammoth and Distrikt are fun, but it’s night when Black Rock City really shines. People adorn themselves, their art cars, their bikes, and their sculptures with colorful lights. And then there is the fire. One of my favorite art cars is Pulpo Mechanico, a steampunk metal octopus that shoots fire out its tentacles and head. Robo Heart is a roving art car that pumps out music all night long

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as long as you can find it.

Every night it’s in a new location and people seek it out to dance in front of the giant LED light panels and booming sound system.

There are fire spinners, stilt walkers, and all manner of acrobatic performers. During the day events include everything from “Mystical Unicorn Tarot Readings” to “Kink Fu: Martial Arts For Sex.” And then there is, of course, The Man. A giant wooden male effigy is constructed, weeks in advance and stands at the center of the city. On Saturday night, everyone gathers in the center of the city on the playa along with lighted music blasting art cars to watch the man burn. And he does more than burn. Fireworks and explosions erupt to the cheers of thousands.

If you can handle camping in a sea of dust for a week, Burning Man will reward you with the most amazing sights and an unforgettable experience.

Burn, baby, burn.  Nuclia Waste, the Triple Nipple Drag Queen of Comedy, can be reached through her website at www.NucliaWaste.com.

KEEP THE LOVE, LOSE THE HANDLES.

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oolsculpting is a revolutionary, non-invasive procedure that uses the technology of cold temperatures to help eliminate unwanted deposits of fat. This procedure allows individuals living a healthy lifestyle to experience the body they have always wanted without the downtime required with other fat loss procedures.

AFTER

The Process Using the power of cold temperatures to freeze and destroy fat cells, Coolsculpting is like no other fat reduction process. The process begins as a consultation with a physician that specializes in Coolsculpting. Once the candidate has been deemed a good candidate, the session can be scheduled. Each session only takes about one hour to complete. Once completed, there is virtually no downtime!

The Power of Cool Developed by Harvard scientists, Coolsculpting targets specific areas of the body including the abdominal region, inner and outer thighs, love handles, and back. The cooling process targets fat cells and literally kills them by freezing them. There are no needles. No suction hoses.

No scars and no kinves! Not to mention, Coolscuplting is a much more affordable option than other weight loss processes.

The Timeline

Unlike other weight loss procedures, Coolsculpting takes very little time with little downtime. Each session lasts about an hour – the same time you would spend at the gym. A Coolsculpting session could be completed within a lunch hour!

The Results Over time, fat cells die off and are disposed of in the natural process of elimination of the body. This is a gradual process that allows your body to maintain its normal day to day routines without the shock of surgery or rapid weight loss. Noticeable results are typically seen after one visit and can be further enhanced by additional appointments.

Before and after photos provided by Murphy Plastic Surgery murphyplasticsurgery.com

Are You Ready?

After a couple of months, your clothes will fit better and you will look and feel better. With a continued healthy lifestyle, the results should remain stable so the body you once had or have always wanted is sticking around. ¢ Please contact an office below for a consultation.

AESTHETIC SURGERY & DERMATOLOGY OF CHERRY CREEK Dr. Adrienne E. Stewart AdrienneStewartMD.com 3300 East 1 st Avenue, Ste. 400 Denver, CO 80206 303-333-6060

CARA MIA MEDICAL DAY SPA

& DERMATOLOGY ASSOCIATES OF COLORADO Dr. Leslie Capin CaraMiaDaySpa.com Three convenient locations:

Aurora: 303-340-3378 Englewood: 303-350-4600 Parker: 303-840-3311

MURPHY PLASTIC SURGERY Dr. Terrence Murphy Chief of Plastic Surgery, Swedish Medical Center info@murphyplasticsurgery.com 799 E. Hampden Ave, Suite 540 Englewood, CO 80113 1-800-759-1005

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BAR TAB

W E E K LY S P E C I A L S F R O M O U T F R O N T ' S L G B T- I N C LU S I V E B A R PA R T N E R S

AQUA LOUNGE

BROADWAYS

1417 Krameria, Denver (720) 287-0584 ofcnow.co/aqua

1027 Broadway, Denver (303) 623-0700 broadwaysdenver.com

HAPPY HOUR MON–FRI $2.50 wells & domestic bottles from 3–7pm

HAPPY HOUR Mon – Fri: 2–9pm Sat & Sun: 12–9pm $2.25 Wells, $2.00 Domestic Drafts $3.75 Svedka Flavors & Domestic Mini Pitchers

475 Santa Fe, Denver (303) 778-0545 facebook.com/BarkerLounge DAILY HAPPY HOURS 3–8pm & 11pm–close $3 Well/Wine/Domestic Bottles

BAR RICUDA'S 1076 Ogden St., Denver (303) 860-8353 barricudasdenver.com DAILY DRINK SPECIALS 2–4pm. & 10pm–midnight

B LACK CROWN 1446 S. Broadway, Denver (720) 353-4701 blackcrownlounge.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR 4–6PM MONDAYS 1/2 price select bottles of wine SUNDAYS Martinis & Misbehavin’ with Cora Vette. $8 Ketel One martinis

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145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977 compounddenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOURS 7–10am & 5–8pm: $2.50 wells, $3 domestic longnecks, $2 off calls

DENVER E AG L E 1475 36 th St., Denver (303) 291-0250 theeaglebar.com HAPPY HOUR Tuesday through Sunday, 4–8pm: Endless beer & Cocktails $12

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COLORADO BLVD.

BEER BUSTS Saturdays, 6–10pm, $8.

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FRIDAY & SATURDAY DANCE PARTIES • NO COVER

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HAPPY HOURS Drink specials every day 3–6pm & $1 off any drink 6–8pm every day

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scan or visit

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Six nights a week — Never a cover!

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SUNDAYS Drag show, 9pm

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SATURDAYS $5 Beer Bust, 2pm

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FRIDAYS: BEER BUST $10 Buddy Beer Bust, 5pm $3 Absolut, 9pm

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SUNDAYS Molly’s famous $4 Bloodys

@ WRANGLER

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FRIDAYS Karaoke at 9pm

DAILY BEER SPECIAL $4 for a 32-oz. domestic pitcher and $8 for a premium pitcher

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DAILY HAPPY HOUR $3 wells, vino, domestics, lattes; $1.50 PBRs; $4 shots of Fireball. 3–7pm

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A couple hundred big burly men and those who admire them attended the Wrangler’s legendary Beer Bust on August 3. Temperatures in the high eighties allowed most of the festivities to move outdoors. For $10, all attendees got a cup and all the Coors Light they could drink between 4 and 8pm. Each week, Beer Bust benefits a different charitable organization who serve as guest pourers. This bust’s charity was the Rocky Mountain Leather Alliance. | Photos by Charles Broshous

See more photos online at ofcnow.co/beerbust14

700 E 17th Ave Denver, CO 80203 (303) 832-1333

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HAM BU RG E R MA RY'S 700 E. 17 th Ave., Denver (303) 832-1333 hamburgermarys.com/denver OPEN DAILY• VISIT WEBSITE FOR SPECIALS Monday - Wed: 11am to 1am Thur - Saturday 11am to 2am Sunday: 10am to 1am

LANNIE'S CLOCKTOWER CABA RET 16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe • (303) 293-0075 CHECK OUT LANNIES.COM For show information & tickets

LIL' DEVILS 255 South Broadway, Denver (303) 733-1156 • lildevilslounge.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR 3PM-8PM $3 Well, Wine & 16oz Domestic Drafts & Domestic bottles • $4 selected Calls & Import bottles, 22oz Domestic Tanks • Half price Bottles of Vino SUNDAYS – $3 SMIRNOFFS, ALL DAY MONDAYS –TOM’S TRIVIA TIME @ 8PM • $3 16OZ DRAFTS THURSDAYS – MARTINI NIGHT $4 Smirnoff Martinis @ 8pm $3 FRIDAYS- ALL DAY $3 Wells, 16oz Dom Drafts, Bud Lt Ritas, Naugh-TEAS, PBR Tallboys, & frozen drinks

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SUPERSTAR THURSDAYS 18 + dance party Cover: 18–20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10pm ELEVATED SATURDAYS 2-for-1 drinks between 9–10pm No cover before 10pm

U NDERG ROU N D PUB 110 N. Nevada Ave., Colorado Springs (719) 578-7771 undergroundbars.com HAPPY HOURS Mon–Sat, 4 – 7pm: $1 off all drinks Sun–Thu, 11pm – 1am: $5 Long Islands

VI NYL 1082 Broadway, Denver (303) 832-8628 coclubs.com/club-vinyl CLIMAX SUNDAYS ON THE ROOFTOP Sunset Beer Bust 6–9pm, $10, 21+.

18+ welcome after 9pm.

WRA N G LER 1700 Logan St., Denver (303) 837-1075 denverwrangler.com MONDAYS: POKER NIGHT Free Texas Hold-em Poker, 7–10pm $2 House Drinks, $2 PBR Cans, 8pm – 2am TUESDAYS: POOL TOURNAMENT $5 buy in Pool Tournament, 7pm $2 House Drinks, $2 Beer Grab, 8pm – 2am THIRSTY THURSDAYS $2 House Drinks and PBR Cans, $3 Calls, $4 Jager & Frozen Drinks Fridays: $3 House Drinks SATURDAYS: $3 SVEDKA DRINKS SUNDAYS: BEER BUST, 4–8PM $10 Legendary Charity Beer Bust $3 Svedka drinks, 5pm-close.

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HAPPY HOURS Tue–Sun: 6–8pm & Tue–Thu: 11pm–12am

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WEEKLY EVENTS DJ every Saturday. Free pool Tues & Sun.

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R & R D ENVE R

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FOR UPDATES & INTERACTIVE MAP, PLEASE VISIT OFCNOW.CO/BTAB

See more photos at outfrontonline.com OUTFRONTONLINE.COM/ POWER

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EXILE FETISH BALL The Exile 3 Fetish Ball was held at the EXDO Event Center on September 6. Approximately 1000 people turned out for Lokusdor Production’s annual celebration of the kink and fetish lifestyle. Exile 3 featured demonstrations, dancing, and other darker artistry including live musicians, DJs, fashion, stylists, visual artists, and vendors. Proceeds benefit Leather Magick, the Leather Archives & Museum, the Denver Boys of Leather, the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, and the Gender Identity Center of Colorado.

Photos by Charles Broshous See more photos online at ofcnow.co/exile3

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ASK THE SEXPERT

TAKING IT ALL OFF Dear Shanna, I really want to look good for my new partner when the clothes come tumbling off, but I’ve never really be underwear shopping before. How do I know what looks good on my body?

Taking it Off in Longmont.

Dear Taking It Off,

PHOTO: CHRISTINA GRESSIANU

Looking sexy and feeling fiiiiiine when the clothes come flying off it always going to be specific to you and what makes you feel good. Some people feel sexy as heck in an old t-shirt and nothing else, while other folks spend a bank on tight skivvies or luxurious lingerie. All of those are valid options, but let’s figure out some ways to decide what works best for you.

First, think about your body. What are your favorite parts? If you’re all about your butt, focusing on some underoos that bring all sorts of attention to your behind is going to give you more confidence when showing off your favorite ass-et. More into your breasts or pectoral muscles?

Make sure to wear a top … a bra, tank, or otherwise that gives a perfect frame to your upper half. Do you prefer full coverage a la briefs, boxers, boxer-briefs, boy shorts, a negligee, etc., or are you more into the peek-a-boo of a banana hammock, a jock strap, a thong, or a g-string?

Think about the material you’ll be wearing. Does it turn you on to have silk or satin sliding down your body, or are you more into common sense cotton all the way

around? Will you be wearing this outfit while you’re getting it on, or is it something that serves as one more layer to peel off your beautiful body while you’re getting down to the nude? If it is going to be ripped off of you, it’s possible you might want to go with something cheap and replaceable, whereas if it’ll just be picked up off the floor later, you might want to invest in some more high-end undergarments.

The overall trick to looking and feeling good in not very much? Confidence and self love. Wear what you feel good in, not what you read about or see in porn. The more you feel hot and sexy, the more that will radiate to your partner(s), and in the end, that’s really all that matters.

So whether you wear some one-of-a-kind, fashionistainspired pair of boy shorts or Hanes tighty-whities, a custom-made corset or Target’s fun-colored line of thongs, you knowing you look good and feel comfortable in what you’re wearing is all it takes to “sell” your outfit to anyone else who might be interested in taking it off.

Best of luck!

Shanna Have a question you’d like to ask Shanna (anonymously)?

Email shannakatz@gmail.com.

Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a board-certified sexologist, sexuality educator, and author who believes in open source, accessible sexuality education. See more columns at ofcnow.co/sexpert or for more info on teaching adults to optimize their sex lives visit ShannaKatz.com.

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O U T BAC K C L ASS I F I E DS Envisioned by Boberto

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