Jan. 1 :: After Equality

RADIOACTIVE VISION: IS ‘GAY’ BECOMING BORING? p. 32 | APPEALS COURT RULING BOOSTS LGBT CUSTODY RIGHTS p. 12

SEXOLOGIST AND COMIC TEAM UP FOR CREATIVE SEXUALITY COURSE p. 8

INTERVIEW: OPENLY GAY FORMER NFL PLAYER WADE DAVIS p. 36

Volume 37 • Issue 19 | 1.1.14 – 1.15.14 FREE | $3.95 Outside Colorado OutFrontOnline.com

00047 74303 50208

AFTER EQUALITY IN A FUTURE OF FULL EQUAL RIGHTS IN EVERY STATE, WHAT WILL LGBT POLITICS LOOK LIKE?

ASPEN GAY SKI WEEK

PRIDE IN THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SNOW

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Imagining LGBT culture in a future world

VOL. 37 | ISSUE 19 | JANUARY 1, 2014

[ CONTENTS ]

AFTER EQUALITY

36

FORMER NFL PLAYER WADE DAVIS HOPES TO CHANGE SPORTS CULTURE

[ FOCUS ]

26

THE PRIDE OF THE ROCKIES: ASPEN GAY SKI WEEK

6 Letter From The Editor 8 Out In Colorado 11 News Briefs 12 News 14 Panel 16 Cover Story

[ SOCIAL ]

12

COLORADO COURT BOOSTS RIGHTS FOR SAME-SEX PARENTS

22 23 24 26 32 34 36

Bleed Like Me The Lesbian Socialite Food For Thought High Society Radioactive Vision On The Scene Interview

[ LIVING ] 38 Beauty 39 Metro 40 Thrive 41 Big Toys 44 Sexuality 45 Heinzesight 4

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado

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EDITORIAL MATTHEW PIZZUTI / Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Lauren Archuletta, Michael Carr, Paul Collanton, Steve Cruz, Nicholas Ferguson, Keo Frazier, Nic Garcia, George Gramer, Brent Heinze, Josiah Hesse, Shanna Katz, Jen LaBarbera, Kelsey Lindsey, Brianna Matthews, Ken Schroeppel, Scott McGlothlen, Jonathan McGrew, Phil Nash, Tom Rockman, Karen Scarpella, Jeffrey Steen, Berlin Sylvestre, Pieter Tolsma, Ashley Trego, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Nuclia Waste, Alison Wisneski, Mike Yost

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FROM THE EDITOR

We only bend toward justice

MATTHEW PIZZUTI Editor

“THE ARC OF THE MORAL UNIVERSE IS LONG, BUT IT BENDS TOWARDS JUSTICE.” It’s one of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s most profound and celebrated quotes (although it’s been around since previous speakers), and when it comes to our community’s most often-cited political goals it seems impossible to argue against. If anyone doubts that in coming decades — a generation at most — same-sex couples will be able to marry in every state, or that nationwide workplace discrimination protections for LGBT people will be a reality, you have an uncommon perspective that I’d love to hear.

But there are also many things that put the famous quote to the test, because there are certainly examples in history when societies move against the tide of justice.

All the darkest, most oppressive times in human history came after times that weren’t as bad. That’s why the arc is long, but sometimes it’s so long that many generations come and go without seeing a better time. If we want to see the future during our own lives, we can’t, and don’t, sit back and watch as if all good things happen on their own.

Nor does it seem as though we’re ever truly finished working. The moral universe may bend towards justice, but never quite arrives at justice. The ratification of the U.S. Constitution did not arrive at justice, the Emancipation Proclamation did not arrive at justice, the Nineteenth Amendment (giving women the right to vote) did not arrive at justice, nor did the Civil Rights Act, or even the

Colorado Civil Union Act for that matter. Those were hard-fought steps toward justice, but the forces that made them necessary — disenfranchisement, racism, sexism, heterocentrism — continued, and work for justice continued too. In fact, the people and institutions who most often glorify the Civil Rights Act or Civil Union Act as the “end” of inequality are typically those who trace back to the ones fighting against them.

So it seems naïve to think marriage equality or any other law or policy we currently have our sights on will be the end of the LGBT and allied community’s work. I think we’ll still have many needs and concerns we can only solve together as a community, still have to reflect on our own level of acceptance for ourselves and each other, and still have some challenges coming from the wider world that are unique to LGBT people.

This is a turn that I’m guessing many of you were not expecting when you first caught a glimpse of this issue’s cover. True, it could have been a bright-eyed story about the many great things to come — and we’ll certainly be celebrating those over the next few years. But I think we all have a picture in our minds of what those victories entail, and I’m far more curious about what we don’t already know. So I’ll propose the question to you now: what comes after “equality?”

CONNECT WITH t OUT FRONT IS YOUR PLATFORM FOR THE EXPRESSIONS AND PERSPECTIVES OF COLORADO’S LGBT AND ALLIED COMMUNITY — WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! To directly contact Out Front’s editors to respond to an article, send a story idea or tip, learn about becoming one of Out Front’s panelists or columnists, write your own Speak Out column or provide general feedback, please email editorial@outfrontonline.com.

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About the Contributors

For Mike Yost, there’s no such thing as being too loud. He interviews clamorous activists and clangorous nonprofits, uncovering the stories of those who aren’t afraid to stand up for change. Mike also listens to deafening metal. His fondness for vociferation comes from serving in silence in the Air Force under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, his experience becoming the basis for his novel, Remnants of Light.

Born and raised in the swampy wilds of south Georgia, Berlin is a writer who appreciates the laidback lifestyle of sweet tea, slow speech and cricket song. Just kidding. She’s the goofy tomboy who shows up at your party with a guitar, plays any rock song from the 90s you can request and playfully mocks your west coast accent.

She’s happy to be here and thanks for asking! See her stories in this issue on pages 26 and 44.

SPEAK OUT

Letters, comments and reactions RE: ‘SPEAK OUT: AM I MAKING MYSELF PERFECTLY QUEER?’

BY JON MONTEITH r ofcnow.co/XVa

RE: ‘COUPLE SUES TO OVERTURN COLORADO’S SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BAN,’ BY MIKE YOST r ofcnow.co/8cr

I am proud to say that Miss Kallie Winners is a friend if mine. What she has done for herself, and for the trans* community as a whole should be celebrated. She didn’t just fight for her true identity, she helped lay the ground work for future trans* employees to do the same, with much more support and understanding. Her efforts to educate and advocate for equal rights for all is to be celebrated and applauded. It’s good work that you have done lovely lady, you are a role model for others, trans* or not.

I encourage you to continue to reclaim the word QUEER. When I attended Gay Games in 1994 (New York), I attended a QUEER symposium. At the beginning, the leather woman who emceed the event announced how QUEER would be regarded in this group: “anyone who defines themselves as QUEER: different from those things that are average or accepted by society and current gender norms. In the 20 years since, we now have “gender non-conforming” to explain all of us who do not fit the average assumptions. GenderQUEER seems to be the next step.

We are the last state to pass civil unions and there will be no more states that pass civil unions. If a state is going to go down this road, it will pass (full) marriage and as it should be. I really hope we get marriage passed this year and for good with no challenge.

— Betty Velvet, Golden

— Steve, Denver

RE: ‘SPEAK OUT: A TRANS* WOMAN’S JOURNEY TRANSITIONING AT WORK’ BY KALLIE WINNERS r ofcnow.co/dSr

— Lee Edward Miller, Denver I legally married my husband last year in Argentina. We then applied for an immigration visa – (he is Peruvian) based on our marriage and the US Consul in Peru granted the visa. I am a resident of Colorado and will not accept a civil union since we are already married – and this is recognized by our Federal Government. Civil Union would be a step backwards for us.

RE: ‘ADVOCATES REMEMBER BRYAN MCKAY’ BY MIKE YOST r ofcnow.co/B6O They should add his name in Webster’s under Volunteer. He epitomized the definition.

— John Kelly, Denver

Speak Out is a section created for YOU, our readers, to submit opinions or perspectives pertinent to Colorado’s LGBT community.

Have something to Speak Out about? Email editorial@ outfrontonline.com with “SPEAK OUT” in the subject line to submit a 500-600 word piece.

— Christopher Price, Lima, Peru

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OUT IN COLORADO

The silly scoop on sexuality

Local comedian and sexologist team up for new event at Blush

By Robyn Vie-Carpenter SEXCOM — IT SOUNDS LIKE A CONVENTION WHERE PEOPLE COME DRESSED AS THEIR FAVORITE BODY PART FOR PORN STARS’ AUTOGRAPHS. But at this fun and educational recurring event launching Saturday, Jan. 11 at Blush & Blu, SexCom stands for “Sex and Comedy,” an innovative offering for credible sexuality advice.

Humor doesn’t normally go with high-minded sexual wellness information — which you’d expect to come in the form of serious and straightfaced medical jargon for our “adult” activities and parts. That is, unless you’re local comedian Debbie Scheer with sexologist (and Out Front Sexpert) Shanna Katz, who say that sex is only human; it goes hand-in-hand with laughter.

We caught up with the dedicated duo for the dish on what inspired the event.

Robyn Vie-Carpenter: What sparked your interest in combining sexuality with comedy?

Debbie Scheer: I worked at Planned Parenthood for many years teaching sex ed. I’m pretty new to the comedy scene, but Denver has a huge scene and there are some brilliant comedians.

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And when I was asking (other comics) for advice, they said be authentic — it felt like I needed to figure out a way to kind of partner comedy, which I love, and sex ed, which I also love.

What: Laughter, learning and libations at SexCom, a funny sexuality course with comedian Debbie Sheer and sexologist Shanna Katz.

When: Saturday, Jan. 11 at 7:30 p.m.

Where: Blush & Blu, 1526 E. Colfax Ave.

and relationships. Did you jump at it, Shanna?

Shanna Katz: Well, I think almost about a year ago now, you [to Debbie] had reached out to me like, “Hey, I have all of these single women friends in their 40s, and don’t know anything about sex.” Like how to restart the sex drive, or be sexual after being in a 16 or 20 year relationship, et cetera. And I was like, great let’s talk about doing a class. Later, I think you came to my cunniligus class.

Vie-Carpenter: How did it Cost: $5 to $10 sliding scale. become SexCom? More Info: Email sexual wellness Scheer: I’m recentlyquestions in advance or ask anonysingle and older. And I kind mously on index cards at the event. of started to talk to friends, LGBTQ and ally-inclusive, 21+. men and women, and noticed SexCom will recur monthly with that there was somewhat of a future dates to be announced. gap between people getting r More online at ofcnow.co/SexCom adult, honest, accurate information about sex and sexualScheer: Yup, I did. ity. I thought, gosh, if we can do something that Katz: It kinda went from there. I very much is adult sex ed, that comedy piece is huge, because that’s what relaxes people. It makes them believe that sex ed should be fun and enjoyable, more comfortable, more open to learning, and and I am big on accessibility. Plus, I’m awkward I thought, I need someone who’s an expert. So, so it makes it easier for people to ask awkward questions. clearly there’s no better expert than Shanna.

Vie-Carpenter: This sounds like so much fun!

Vie-Carpenter: I know she’s the only person I think of calling for anything related to sexuality r See the full interview online at ofcnow.co/ZTq.com

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FYI

Court decisions bring marriage equality to New Mexico and Utah APPEAL OF UTAH RULING COULD AFFECT COLORADO t LESBIAN AND GAY COUPLES CAN NOW MARRY IN NEW MEXICO AND UTAH AFTER TWO LANDMARK COURT RULINGS ONE DAY APART. In Utah, a federal judge struck down the state’s same-sex marriage ban on December 20 in a surprising development that could end up affecting the status of marriage equality in Colorado.

In a state that ranks among the nation’s most conservative on LGBT rights, U.S. District Judge Robert J. Shelby ruled in favor of three Utah same-sex couples, writing in his decision that Utah’s Amendment 3, passed by voters in 2004 to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples, is unconstitutional.

The federal 10th Circuit Court of Appeals — which is based in Denver and oversees Utah along with Colorado, Kansas, New Mexico, Oklahoma and Wyoming — will take up the marriage equality case as Utah’s state government appeals the December ruling, and could potentially issue a ruling that enacts marriage equality in the entire region, including Colorado.

While similar federal court decisions other states have postponed allowing same-sex marriages to start while the case is appealed, couples in Salt Lake City were marrying within hours of the December ruling. The 10th Circuit denied on Dec. 22 a request by the Utah Attorney General’s office to block them during the appeals process.

The ruling came just one day after a New Mexico Supreme Court decision brought statewide marriage equality there as well.

The highest state court in New Mexico ruled unanimously December 19 that the state’s constitution requires that lesbian and gay couples be allowed to marry.

New Mexico is the only state without laws for or against same-sex marriage, and several counties in the state took matters into their own hands last summer when they began issuing marriage licenses to lesbian and gay couples.

Other county clerks brought the question to state courts seeking clarity, which the December ruling provided.

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From the December 19 ruling: “Prohibiting same-gender marriages is not substantially related to the governmental interests advanced by the parties opposing same-gender marriage or to the purposes we have identified.

Therefore, barring individuals from marrying and depriving them of the rights, protections, and responsibilities of civil marriage solely because of their sexual orientation violates the Equal Protection Clause under Article II, Section 18 of the New Mexico Constitution.”

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FYI

In case you missed it

// POPULAR STORIES ON OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

CELEBRATING SCRUFF From Dec. 4: Denver photographer Josh Olsen presents the sexiest gay beards in town r Online at ofcnow.co/scruff

ADAMS COUNTY COUPLE SUES FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN COLORADO From Dec. 18: Longtime LGBT advocates aren’t waiting around for voters to overturn the state’s Amendment 43 r Online at ofcnow.co/8cr

EVERYONE LOVES TAH TAHS! From Dec. 18: Kristin Ziegler’s hilarious interview with Denver’s most energized all-girl cover band

AM I MAKING MYSELF PERFECTLY QUEER?

r Online at ofcnow.co/TahTahs

From Dec. 18: Jon Monteith, One Colorado’s communications director, explains why he identifies as ‘queer’ r Online at ofcnow.co/perfectly-queer

FOCUS ON LGBT RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY From Nov. 20: Featuring world faiths from Islam to Christianity to Buddhism, Alison Wisneski profiles spiritual journeys of six LGBT Coloradoans

BIG GAY FAMILIES: WHEN SAME-SEX PARENTS’ OWN KIDS COME OUT AS LGBT

r Online at ofcnow.co/OMG

From Dec. 18: A local lesbian and local gay man who have a lot in common with their parents r Online at ofcnow.co/gayfamilies

DENVER Berkeley Community UCC www.berkchurchucc.org DENVER Christ Congregational UCC www.visitchristchurch.org DENVER Park Hill Congregational UCC www.parkhillchurch.org DENVER Sixth Avenue UCC www.sixthavenueucc.org DENVER Washington Park UCC www.washparkucc.org To locate an Open and Affirming church near you, go to: ofcnow.co/ucc

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NEWS BRIEFS

India political party leader says gay U.S. diplomats should be ‘arrested, punished’ NEW DELHI, INDIA — The leader of India’s Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) said Wednesday that India should “arrest and punish” U.S. diplomats in India who have “same sex companions” as same-sex acts is illegal in the country.

“Media has reported that we have issued visas to a number of U.S. diplomats’ companions.

‘Companions’ means that they are of the same sex,” said former foreign minister Yashwant Sinha.

“Now, after the Supreme Court ruling, it is completely illegal in our country, just as paying less wages was illegal in the U.S. So, why does not the government of India go ahead and arrest them and punish them,” he said.

Last week, India’s Supreme Court struck down a 2009 lower court decision that had decriminalized homosexuality, restoring a colonial-era law – Section 377 – that criminalizes gay sex.

“My view is irrespective of Section 377. But the point is, as of now it is illegal,” Sinha added.

“The law is still against same-sex

YASHWANT SINHA

relationships. Whether it should be there or not is another question.”

“So, following the rule book, since same-sex relationships are illegal in this country, those diplomats who are into it should be arrested, just as those in the U.S. paying less wages are in the wrong following the U.S. law.”

Last week an Indian diplomat, Devyani Khobragade, deputy consul general, was reportedly arrested, handcuffed and later strip-searched by U.S. immigration officials.

Sinha’s remarks followed a complaint by a maid that the diplomat who employed her was paying her less than the minimum wages stipulated under U.S. visa requirements.

Students walk out in protest of ‘forced’ resignation of gay Catholic school official SAMMAMISH, WASH. – Hundreds of students at Eastside Catholic School in Sammamish, Wash., walked out Thursday to protest the resignation of a vice principal they say was forced out because he recently married his same-sex partner.

Eastside Catholic attorney and spokesman Mike Patterson told KOMO-TV that Mark Zmuda signed a contract that states he would follow the official teachings of the church, and that same-sex marriage violates that contract.

According to their online blog, Zmuda married Dana Jergens last July — seven months after samesex marriage became legal in Washington state.

Students, who said they were told the decision to fire Zmuda was made by the Catholic Archdiocese of Seattle, protested the resignation by walking out of school on Thursday.

“We’re all here because we love him and we want to feel like we can accept people for who they are here at Eastside, and I think by firing him because he’s gay is not portraying that message,” Eastside Catholic senior Julia Troy said.

The students say it is widely known that Zmuda is gay, and are surprised the school has decided to act now.

Reports from LGBTNation.com OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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NEWS

Colorado court boosts rights for same-sex parents

RULING COULD HELP LGBT PARENTS WITH NON-BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN

By Mike Yost t COLORADO LESBIAN MOM LISA LIMBERIS HAS — AT LAST — A CLEARER SHOT AT BEING REUNITED WITH THE CHILD SHE HELPED RAISE before an acrimonious breakup with her former partner, Sabrina Havens, in 2011. And the Colorado appeals court ruling last month that made it possible will give other Colorado lesbian and gay parents a new way to protect relationships with children.

The December 5 Colorado Court of Appeals decision established for the first time the Colorado Uniform Parentage Act (UPA), a law to clarify when a parent-child relationship exists, applies to same-sex parents the same as it would for opposite-sex parents..

“In the past, no Colorado Court of Appeals case applied the UPA to same-sex parents in a breakup,” said Limberis’ lawyer Kim Willoughby. “This is protection for the child if there’s a breakup so the child can continue to have two parents. The person who is the non-biological parent can still ask for rights and responsibilities as a legal parent, not as a second-class parent, which is where these folks have been for a very long time.”

The story began in 2007, when Limberis and Havens decided to start a family using artificial insemination. In 2008, Havens gave birth to a daughter, who took Limberis’ last name.

In 2010, Havens consented to Limberis filing for second-parent adoption, but the adoption was denied when a court said the adoption was unconstitutional. Limberis did not appeal the ruling.

“Sabrina told me I don’t need a piece of paper to be a mother,” said Limberis on her decision to accept the ruling at the time.

But when the couple separated permanently in November 2011, Havens cut off all contact between Limberis and the child she had been helping to raise. Limberis filed a maternity action, which, under the UPA, would have given her a claim as a legal parent with Havens.

According to court documents, “Limberis alleged, among other things, that because she had received the child into her home and held the child out as her own, she was a presumed parent under the UPA.” But at that point Havens revealed her pregnancy had not been through artificial insemination, but from another man, Marc Bolt.

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Bolt was in the process of relinquishing his parental rights during the case trial and testified that he did not want to be involved as a father, according to court documents.

The case went before the Logan County District Court, which denied Limberis’ maternity action on January 25 last year. Bolt’s petition to relinquish his rights as a parent was granted 12 days after the trial, making Havens the sole parent.

Court documents stated Limberis’ case did not “present a surrogacy or sperm donor situation.” Because the child had two biological parents, the court denied Limberis the opportunity to provide evidence she was the presumptive mother.

Limberis appealed, and in October 2013 against the trial court’s decision that Limberis did not have standing to demonstrate she was the mother.

That led to her Dec. 5 victory in the appeal’s court, which rejecting the trial court’s decision to dismiss Limberis’ maternity action on what the trial court had called an implicit premise that a child cannot have two mothers legally under the UPA. “That’s what we were specifically appealing,” said Willoughby. “The question has been, for years, can non-biological mothers make use of this statute. Trial court said no, without a whole lot of discussion, but the court of appeals said yes because the statute says you have to treat both genders equally. You can’t discriminate against somebody because of their gender.”

The ruling read, in part, as follows: “We conclude that, in the context of a same-sex relationship, a child may have two mothers under the UPA — a biological mother and a presumptive mother…The prerogative of a child to claim the love and support of two parents does not evaporate simply because the parents are the same sex. It applies to all children, regardless of whether they were conceived during a heterosexual or same-sex relationship.”

Out Front reached out to Havens’s lawyer, Steven Furman of Bauer & Furman PC, but Furman declined to comment on the case, citing that it was not appropriate to remark on the merits of the appellate court’s ruling at this stage of the appeal.

Furman did add that he is reviewing the ruling and has not made a decision if he will file a OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

petition to have the case reconsidered.

Willougby said the case is not only significant for Limberis but all Colorado same-sex couples raising a family. A civil union, Willoughby said, might not be enough to protect all parents’ rights.

“It’s my understanding that if couples are in a civil union, the hospital will put both their names on a birth certificate — (but) your readers need to know that that is not an adjudication of parentage and that is probably not enough for the non-biological parent to always be assured full parenting rights.”

The new ruling allows lesbian or gay partners who become alienated from their children in a breakup to use a new avenue to restoring their role as a parent, although Willoughby said there still might be places where the option falls short.

“The concern is that the biological parent moves to, say Alabama, and takes the child with them,” said Willoughby. “The non-biological parent says, but I have this birth certificate, we had the baby when we were in civil union.

Alabama says they do not recognize civil unions for same-sex couples, and they do not recognize the birth certificate.”

Though states vary in recognizing civil unions or same-sex marriages, every state must recognize a court order establishing the non-biological parent as the legal parent under the UPA. “If they have adjudication,” Willoughby said, “that says that they are a legal parent, that obliges other courts to recognize them as a full parent. But I don’t think that a birth certificate necessarily does.” Willoughby added that a UPA action does not involve the same time and expense that a second-parent adoption requires.

Limberis advised that same-sex couples thinking of starting a family should take advantage of these legal protections for parents. “It doesn’t matter how your relationship is at the time you decide to have kids,” she said. “You don’t know what’s going to happen. You need to get all your bases covered.”

The next step for Limberis is to reapply for the maternity action, but the ruling could be challenged. According to Willoughby, Havens’ lawyer has 42 days from when the ruling was released on Dec. 5 to file a petition for certiorari which would challenge the appellate court’s decision. Such action would take the case to the Colorado Supreme Court.

Your HIGHLANDS real estate LGBT specialist MICHAEL MADSEN 303 726 1543 M i c h a e l @ UrbanLegendary.com

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JANUARY 1, 2014

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PANEL VOICES

QUESTION:

What advice do you have for LGBT people who are still in the closet?

Keo Frazier is a local entrepreneurial and business leader, and the fearless founder of KEOS Marketing Group.

George Gramer, Jr.

t COME OUT ONLY WHEN YOU ARE READY. This is a big deal, regardless of the number of people you inform.

Be ready for some joys and perhaps some sorrows. This is not something that is easy – know that from the beginning.

Be yourself, and do it on your own terms. Someone in your small trust group should not demand that you come out to more than you want. YOU write the rules here. This is YOUR life.

Come out in a way that is comfortable to you. I have come out to friends on the telephone, in chat, and in person. Consider to whom you wish to come out and determine the best way to connect in a way that the other person will feel good about the news you have to share.

Perhaps even before all of this happens, join an LGBT group with which you have an affinity, attend Pride. Ascertaining your feelings in group situations helps you to know how you might feel in a more private one-on-one situation with people for whom you have loving feelings, and whether you want to tell others that you are LGBT. Be selective in whom you tell. I am still not out to my mother (although I suspect she knows and understands). I need not be out anywhere I do not want to be. I am in many groups where sexuality has nothing to do with anything. Don’t come out to anyone you don’t want to – you can control this via your methods of informing others.

You will know when it is time. You will know it in your heart. Good luck!

Iowa native George Gramer, Jr. is the president of the Colorado Log Cabin Republicans.

Pieter Tolsma

t I AM THANKFUL MY PARENTS AND FAMILY LIVED IN DENIAL. Everyone else seemingly could tell I was a gay man except, apparently, for them. Had they been a little quicker on the draw I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to craft a life for myself that would support me emotionally, physically, and financially should the need arise (and it definitely did) when I decided to come out.

I always knew my family would not take me coming out well. When the moment came, I was as prepared as possible — and it still hurt to my very core. I cannot imagine the pain of someone who dared hope for acceptance but found only bitterest disappointment instead. There is no preparation and it can take years or a lifetime to overcome it.

My advice for the LGBT in the closet is to remember there are so many people out there cheering for you. You may not know them yet, but they are there — we are here — and you need only find us. I can’t imagine all of the circumstances and odds stacked against you living openly as you would like, but know that when you do and you can reveal yourself as you want to be, you will never want to go back. Take your time. We will be here when you get here.

Pieter Tolsma is program coordinator of Denver PIQUE, a sexual health and social support program for gay/bi men in Denver. t THE THE DECISION TO COME OUT IS VERY PERSONAL AND I RECOMMEND IT FEEL RIGHT FOR YOU AND BE ON YOUR TERMS — not at the counsel or prodding of others. There a several layers to coming out. Yes, you could “take the polar ice plunge” and burst out of the closet, but I found easing into it — starting with those closest to me — made the most sense.

I grew up in a very small town in Nebraska, and identifying as gay would have been inviting misery. My parents were very traditional and uneducated about homosexuality, and in many ways I thought it would be unfair to “dump” it on them knowing we would have very little dialogue about it afterward.

My approach was basic and one I most strongly recommend for anyone in the closet: be authentic.

Be real. Be you. When being in the closet also means having to lie and deceive and pretend to be accepted — it’s just not healthy and the longterm consequences of that stress (depression, substance abuse, etc.) can far outweigh the short-term consequences of coming out.

I never have “formally” come out to my family or even any friends. I have just been me, and those who get it, get it. I don’t concern myself much with what other people think — instead I focus on being in touch with my true self.

Every year, the world is making more progress toward acceptance of GLBTQ community. We are nowhere near being as “Zen” as I would like the world to be, but every day YOU make a difference when you show the world how amazing you are, just the way you are!

Jeff Swaim

Keo Frazier

t WHEN I CAME OUT I DIDN’T KNOW ANYONE GAY, NOR DID I HAVE ANY IDEA WHERE TO FIND ANYONE GAY. I came out only to be true to myself, to be happy.

I came out to be able to live life to its fullest without regrets or second thoughts.

After I came out, alone, the real journey began. After coming out I became closer to my current friends because I was finally open, honest and truly authentically me. The journey was about discovering myself and learning that nothing changed about me coming out of the closet only that I smiled more and laughed twice as much.

My advice for anyone searching for their way out into the open is to allow yourself to be exactly who you are without holding back, and without regrets. You can begin by loving and accepting yourself, recognizing that you are the master of your own happiness.

Once you accept yourself and you learn to control your happiness, you will see that coming out was something you had to do for you, yes, and for those who love you. When you come out you feel alive, refreshed and relieved. When you come out there is nothing more to look forward to than more smiles and lots of laughter. Life becomes brighter because you are finally embracing all the things that make you you.

Besides, the grass is much greener after a rainbow.

Jeff Swaim is an entrepreneur, sports lover, outdoor enthusiast, philosopher, and ex-Nebraska farm kid. He’s also a believer in unleashing the talents and potential of people.

IS YOUR PLATFORM FOR THE EXPRESSIONS AND PERSPECTIVES OF COLORADO’S LGBT AND ALLIED COMMUNITY — WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! To directly contact Out Front’s editors to respond to an article, send a story idea or tip, learn about becoming one of Out Front’s panelists or columnists, write your own Speak Out column or provide general feedback, please email editorial@outfrontonline.com.

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JANUARY 1, 2014

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afterequality EVEN WHEN SAME-SEX COUPLES CAN MARRY IN EVERY STATE, WE’LL STILL HAVE WORK TO DO WHEN ASKED THE MOST EFFECTIVE TOOL FOR IMPLEMENTING LGBT RIGHTS — what the LGBT and allied community has working in its favor more than any other variable — Colorado State Senator Pat Steadman put it simply with one word: “Time.”

“As time goes on, things are going to change,” he said. “The older generations are going to be gone, and younger people are more open and have less hang-ups about sexuality.”

It’s something many advocates express — a feeling so pervasive and deep that it weaves its way as a given into everything we assume about the future. Between the dramatic shifts in media representations of LGBT people, the increasing public outcry against high-profile anti-LGBT statements, the gradual expansion of marriage equality in more and more states

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and the recent Supreme Court decisions abolishing DOMA and Prop. 8, young people today are growing up in a gay-friendly world that would’ve been unimaginable generations ago.

This group of pro-gay millennials — who show overwhelming support for marriage equality and LGBT rights in polls — will continue to expand their proportion among the country’s voters and will eventually become its leaders, to presumably enact the laws and policies that today’s LGBT advocates refer to as full equality.

BEYOND THE FINISH LINE It’s easy to envision a coming time when same-sex couples enjoy universal marriage equality, along with universal recognition under the law of being every bit as loving

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

by Josiah Hesse

and competent as opposite-sex parents.

Transgender persons will no longer be denied the right to serve openly in the military, and will be protected, with their lesbian and gay brethren, from overt employment discrimination under national and state law.

What will this world look like at eye-level?

Will these milestones for the modern LGBT rights movement also be the movement’s end?

Will advocacy groups like the Human Rights Campaign and the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation become obsolete? Or will we find — as many other marginalized groups in U.S. history have discovered after long-fought victories in equality — that discrimination can continue in forms that are more discreet?

“In this hypothetical, if every piece of gay rights legislation is passed, then gay people

are going to care about income inequality and climate change and affordable access to healthcare and education, and there won’t be any issues that have an ‘LGBT’ in front of them,” Steadman said. “There will still be bias, though.

Legislation can do a lot, but there is still the need to change hearts and minds. Legislation is just one part of it.”

This social and cultural landscape is where otherwise-confident predictions about the future get cloudy.

More than four decades after the Civil Rights Act banned the open discrimination against blacks that had been the narrative-driving concern behind the Civil Rights Movement, Senator Barack Obama campaigned for president in a political landscape where race was indeed still an election issue. Shortly before he

announced his campaign, a 2006 Gallup poll found just 58 percent of Americans thought the nation was “ready” for a black president, along with 61 percent who thought the country could elect a woman president and a meager 41 percent saying the nation could elect a Hispanic president. Then three and a half years after the 2008 election proved many of those skeptics wrong, a black teenage boy wearing a hoodie was shot and killed in Florida on a rainy February night, in an incident that was tragically unnecessary no matter the speculations of what transpired. That famous case divided the nation — not on the actual troubling circumstances of Trayvon Martin’s death — but by perspectives toward race, racism and tangential characterizations of the victim’s life and character. And when the president weighed in

with compassion for the grieving family, his comments were immediately seized upon by his detractors as a political opportunity. Now at the beginning of 2014, it’s obvious that neither the decades-past end to open segregation nor the eventual ascension of a person of color to the nation’s highest political office made race a non-issue in the United States.

With each election cycle, it’s more common for political officeholders and candidates to be lesbian or gay — so much so that in Colorado, where eight current state legislators are openly lesbian or gay, Steadman in 2012 sought reelection to his central Denver state senate seat facing a gay Republican opponent. It was a first for Colorado, but hardly affected the outcome of the election, which Steadman easily won. In some districts, like central Denver, right-wing continued on next page t

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t continued from previous page

We should have learnt by now that laws and court decisions can only point the way. They can establish criteria of right and wrong.

And they can provide a basis for rooting out the evils of bigotry and racism. But they cannot wipe away centuries of oppression and injustice — however much we might desire it.

– Hubert Humphrey

homophobia is becoming a thing of the past so quickly that we may not even have to wait for a new generation to change the politics — we can just find places where that change is already here.

But does it mean it’s painless now for LGBT people in those places to come out, or to transition? Will the evolution of public opinion toward willingness to judge LGBT people on merit put an end to the disproportional rates of suicide, substance abuse and homelessness impacting LGBT people? Perhaps these challenges will no longer be used, as they have been, as a political weapon to smear the character of ordinary lesbians and gays — but will the numbers, driven by visceral life experiences of partiality, rejection and judgment, actually change?

A PERIOD OF DENIAL Last December, the Republican National Committee found themselves in hot water for a tweet: “Today we remember Rosa Parks bold stand and her role in ending racism.”

Many commentators quickly took issue with the implications of that statement — a larger number of Americans might blink a couple times and scratch their heads trying to figure out how it would be controversial. While it’s been years since racial equality under the law has been a matter of serious political debate, pervasive insistences of we’re-not-racistanymore are easily brought into question.

Scientific studies have shown that a racial bias can exist within even the most liberal mind, often unconsciously.

A “racist person” is often imagined through stereotypes: a Southern, lower-income, uneducated white male. In the same way, characterizations of “homophobia” often come the form of vocal religious figures who live in rural areas or suburbs — certainly no one would be labeled homophobic if they’ve set foot in a gay bar. But LGBT people know there can be challenges with friends, acquaintances and with mostly-accepting families who may have liberal political views toward LGBT people, but don’t necessarily always live those out.

In his book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, pop journalist Malcom Gladwell brings complex academic conversations on systematic privilege and oppression to simple numbers and scenarios — noting that racial bias is far more prevalent than KKK membership cards.

“Our attitudes towards race and gender operate on two levels,” Gladwell wrote; “First of all, we have our conscious level. These are what we choose to believe… which we use to direct our behavior deliberately.”

“But the Implicit Association test measures something else, our attitude toward racism on an unconscious level” — citing a widely-regarded Harvard study that measures “the immediate, automatic associations that tumble out before we have had time to think. We do not deliberately choose our unconscious attitudes, and we may not even be aware of them.”

The test, taken on a computer screen, sets up users to create associations between images, ideas or words, with quick and random-seeming decisions used to measure subconscious biases the person taking the test wouldn’t consciously admit.

Gladwell describes the results of his own Implicit Association Test as “a bit creepy,” finding that despite being a politically-liberal man who is, himself, half black, he found that he, too, had an unconscious bias that favored white people. In fact, researchers behind the IAT study found that while 80 percent of white people have a biased preference toward their own race, 40 percent of blacks have a similar, subtle, biased preference for whites. It indicates racism that is not explained by tribalism or self-promotion, but by unconscious cultural messages that value whiteness and devalue blackness regardless of who you are receiving them.

Comparing LGBT inequality to racial inequality can be a troubling prospect. It’s an analogy that has been misused in many cases to promote one community’s cause while undermining the other, and also imperfect simply because of very different experiences and histories. But it can foster insight — showing how the finish line isn’t really the end, and that stated beliefs are not the same as subtle attitudes.

In his book, Gladwell looks at a variety of unconscious biases throughout society — such as correlations between higher income and employment with things like being tall, even though no one would consciously argue that tall people are smarter or harder workers in hiring decisions.

Many LGBT advocacy groups are now putting pressure on President Obama to sign the Employee Non-Discrimination Act, legislation to ban employers from firing or overlooking LGBT employees based on their identity through the same avenues that racial discrimination is already banned. Yet studies like the IAT suggest unspoken biases that value white skin over being of color, or value some races more than others, could play a role in the employment and income disparities that go on despite anti-discrimination laws.

The challenge communities are left with is that you can’t outlaw thoughts that people often aren’t even aware they have.

THE FOCUS COMES FULL CIRCLE When the most visible portions of the LGBT community embraced the Gay Liberation Movement in the late 60s and 70s, the possibility that same-sex couples could someday legally marry was beyond the horizon — such a long-shot that it hardly warranted discussion. The focus was on liberation as one’s own community — for lesbians and gays to exist and thrive outside, and independent from, the mores and expectations of mainstream society. The focus was cultural, and if the current chapter in the movement truly leads to political victories that seem inevitable, a cultural focus is where it will return.

Mardi Moore, executive director of Out Boulder and former member of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, said that legislation alone is not enough.

“The (National Education Association) did a study recently that showed a majority of school principles are less likely to intervene on a bullying situation if it involves an LGBT student,” Moore said. “Legislation is a start, but it doesn’t fix things. We repealed DOMA, but then two days later a gay guy was killed in Greenwich Village. So you might get the laws, but the continued on page 20 t

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It is not our differences that divide us.

It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.

– Audre Lorde

t continued from page 18

culture doesn’t shift. And then you have people who are disconnected.”

While culture and laws don’t always move at the same pace, they do often move in the same direction, and there’s a case to make that culture regarding LGBT equality has been moving even more quickly than laws. Weeks before Obama came out in favor of same-sex marriage in 2012, it was Vice President Joe Biden on Meet the Press who said “I think Will & Grace probably did more to educate the American public than almost anything anybody’s ever done so far.”

Will & Grace was, indeed, welcomed by many LGBT people when it first appeared in 1998 — but it and similar representations face some criticism as well. Some asked, are these mainstream representations of lesbian and gay people really helpful, or even accurate, to sexual minorities? And will they always be thought of as empowering and positive to the extent that they are today?

Last March, filmmaker Blake Pruitt performed a series of interviews with 20 young gay men in New York City (aptly View the titled 20MALEGAYNYC). Discussing 10-minute short film issues like internalized homophobia, re20MALEGAYNYC pulsion toward gay peers, and why gay online at ofcnow.co/gayNYC stereotypes are holding back full equality — in one of the largest and most open and visible LGBT communities in the nation, New York City — the short film gives us a look into what the future for the gay community in other parts of the country could entail.

From the film:

Nico: I don’t understand why the gay community has chosen to embrace what hateful people outside of the community have decided to say about us.

Ken: When I see a ninety-pound boy in a tank-top screaming, I’m just like…what a ‘stereotypical gay guy’ has come to mean in our culture is totally derivative of straight culture.

Cole: If you go to a gay club today its the same horrible top 40 shit that you hear on the radio. And even the things we look for in a gay guys, it’s very ‘Justin Bieber,’ ‘One Direction,’ perfect pop-twink. I feel like you want to be accepted by society, so you try and be just like them, but we’re not — we’re just becoming this caricature of pop culture, and it’s kind of gross. Being gay has come to mean something more than your sexuality — it’s an identity that I don’t necessarily identify with.

Andrew: I like guys that are more masculine, or come across as straight. Straight-acting — like, not flamboyant. Even though I know I’m a bit flamboyant.

Nico: Masculine men tend to like masculine men. And feminine men tend to like masculine men.

Many commenters noted the irony of that these twenty-somethings embodied many of the stereotypes

Gay liberation is in the hands of gay people, not legislators or anyone in Washington.

When we stop judging effeminate men, when we stop hating ourselves, that’s when everything is going to open up.

– RuPaul

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

that they were criticizing; what’s so wrong with being “flamboyant?” Are gay people obligated to change something about themselves just because someone else decided to call it a negative stereotype? One writer commenting on the film quoted author Simon Peter Fuller, who said, “What angers us in another person is more often than not an unhealed aspect of ourselves.

If we had already resolved that particular issue, we would not be irritated by its reflection back to us.”

There’s no shortage of differing opinions within the men in 20MALEGAYNYC, but the one common thread throughout the ten-minute film is a dissatisfaction with gay culture — which often affects selfesteem or results in a lack of friendships between gay men. A handful of interviewees acknowledged that they often see, or are seen by, other gay men as either an option for sex, or something to be disregarded.

BACK TO COMMUNITY As Gladwell pointed out, subtle, often unconscious, negative opinions about a certain race, sexuality, or even height can have a tremendous impact on what actually happens in culture. A homophobic prejudice can exist within the most vocal advocate, or the most out-and-proud LGBT person. Tackling this problem with new legislation may have an impact, but may also be the proverbial hammer attempting to turn a screw.

The dilemma been lost on Mardi Moore. Looking to the future, Moore wondered what focusing more on legislation than culture does for the community.

“You can put laws into effect, but that doesn’t mean everyone is going to grant LGBT persons respect,” she said. “Healthcare has a huge disparity with it — I know of at least four or five people who have not gone in for a mammogram or pap smear because of fear of admitting they’re gay to a doctor – and they had insurance. There’s an internalized homophobia there.

When I was first coming out, and coming to grips with my own sexuality, it was difficult to be around a male or female doctor in those situations.”

Steadman said part of the influence of time is that more LGBT people are out today than previous generations — all inviting new perspectives on issues by simply being who they are. Moore said that it’s not only enough to be out — that you must be out and also proud of being LGBT. Her remedy is more effort into local community-building, where education and resources can be used to improve the way LGBT people see themselves and each other, in addition to dealing with oppression from outside.

“I think that as a community we should give to a national organization, a state organization, and a local organization, because it takes all three,” she said. “People don’t always do that, they get wound up and think that their fifty dollars will be put best to use to change the laws, and don’t look toward the next step down. If the state, national and local communities get together, that’s how we win. That’s how we get to where we want to be.” ¢ Out Front staff also contributed to this story.

Respond to this story or add to the information, insights and ideas here. Email editorial@outfrontonline.com, comment or discuss ‘After Equality’ with other readers on ofcnow.co/afterequality, or send a letter to Out Front at 3535 Walnut St., Denver, CO, 80205.

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BY JOHN C. HOELLE, TRAINED IN THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS. more info on collaborative law found at ofcnow.co/col-law

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NOW THAT LGBT INDIVIDUALS IN Colorado may enter into (and dissolve) civil unions, one choice among many is whether to use lawyers or other professionals to assist with certain aspects of the process.

For example, no lawyers are necessary to help cut the cake at the ceremony, but legal advice may be particularly important for same-sex couples entering into a legal relationship with each other that has complex and shifting ramifications under federal and state law. A “prenuptial agreement” can lay out certain rights and shared understandings between the individuals, during the relationship and upon any subsequent dissolution (divorce). If the couple ultimately decides to dissolve their civil union, lawyers and other qualified people may need to help the couple understand their legal and financial obligations to each other, as well as potentially navigate the territory of “co-parenting.”

The Benefits of Collaborative Law At either the beginning or end of a relationship, there is a growing trend for intimate partners to utilize practitioners trained in “Collaborative Law.” This formal process is designed to avoid the otherwise adversarial nature of resolving a dispute at the end of relationship or arriving at an agreement at the beginning. Each party has the advice of counsel as to his or her legal position, and win-win outcomes are negotiated using good-faith, respectful, transparent, “needs-based” techniques at settlement meetings involving both clients and both lawyers. In addition to the attorneys, other neutral experts

are often called in to facilitate, such as a mediator, accountant, mental health consultant, property appraiser, and/or child expert.

In the prenuptial context, the process can provide each person with confidence because someone is looking out for his or her legal rights, while focus remains firmly on reaching outcomes that feel right to both parties together. The same is true in the divorce context, and in addition, if either client threatens to take the dispute to a judge, the collaborative lawyers are disqualified from further participation.

The disqualification agreement is a strong incentive on the part of both clients and lawyers to make the process work.

In divorce cases where the parties are prepared to work together, the collaborative process is often quicker, less costly, more creative, more individualized, less stressful, and more satisfying in its results than what occurs in most conventional settlement negotiations.

Perhaps most importantly, particularly for dissolution cases involving children, the collaborative process can provide an education for parents in how to resolve future conflicts. For those parties who want to keep conflict low for the good of the children, and so that they can sit in the same room at their children’s graduation or civil union (nay, wedding!) ceremony, going through a collaborative divorce is basic training in avoiding an acrimonious and possibly litigious future.

And that’s healthy and financially wise for everyone involved.

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BLEED LIKE ME

Trapped in DIA

LIFE IN A MAKESHIFT COLONY THAT MAY AS WELL HAVE BEEN ON THE MOON t AFTER MIRACULOUSLY DRIVING TO THE AIRPORT IN A BLIZZARD (story online at ofcnow.co/snowluck), I knew my flight would be cancelled. The desk clerk warned that getting a stand-by seat would be difficult since it was the holiday season. I could only hope that other people wouldn’t be as foolish in this weather and stay home.

The other travelers and I threw our stuff down to set up camp. I sat among mixed company: a sweet elderly couple, a group of annoying teenagers, and a handsome, black military man decked out in uniform. Airport personnel kept us informed that the weather was getting worse.

Little did I know we were all about to experience the great DIA shutdown of 2006.

The airport restaurants had, surprisingly, stayed open. I made enough chitchat with my new airport peers to trust them to watch my stuff while I went off for food. Smartphones hadn’t taken off yet, so just texting and talking with friends would have to suffice as entertainment.

It turned out a friend’s roommate, Lisa, was also stranded. I got her number and we tracked each other down. As night fell, airport staff handed out blankets. Lisa suggested we combine ours to make our little nest feel more like a bed. I didn’t want to—but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

After we were laying down, Lisa The Red Cross brought cots for the crept up to my backside and wrapped elderly and disabled. I was jealous her arm around me. I was officially in — if for nothing else but to use it as hell: lying on a cold marble floor while a barrier to keep Lisa from groping being spooned by a woman. me again.

The next day showed no hope for On the third day, the snow had better weather. We began unpacking finally stopped and one runway was our things to live our lives. Some folks cleared. Airport personnel notified us put on running gear and proceeded to to go to our gate for stand-by tickets. jog around the airport, while others There, I got a ticket; the second-to-last Scott McGlothlen took washcloths from their supply kits one left! The female clerk warned me for sink baths in airport bathrooms. that if my connecting flight gets full I would be I imagined finding a cute guy and getting laid. booted at the next airport.

Instead, I daydreamed this must be what it would For no real reason I argued that her logic was be like if we lived forever-indoors in a spaceport completely wrong. What need did I have for a on the moon. connecting flight I was exhausted, buggy-eyed and It didn’t take long before life got annoying. a bit delusional. The clerk told me to shut up or The elderly couple’s sunny optimism conflicted she would revoke my ticket. I quickly did what I with my bitterness. I found out that the military was told. man was on the same flight as mine — comBut an airplane seat had never felt so competition for the coveted stand-by seats that fortable in my life — and while three days in an awaited us. The teens kept running off to find airport gave me stories for a lifetime, they were mischief, only to have security continuously ones I’d much prefer to forget. tell them to stop. And Lisa’s flirtatious attempts became unbearable.

Scott McGlothlen is a cultural columnist on life I did break away and met an attractive guy. He as a HIV-positive gay man. r See more of Scott’s and I made plans to meet later that evening for an columns online at ofcnow.co/scott or contact him airport date (a story for another time). at scott@outfrontonline.com.

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SOCIAL

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THE LESBIAN SOCIALITE

MAKE YOUR NIGHT

My resolution: listen more

SOMETHING SO SIMPLE CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

Robyn Vie-Carpenter Photo by Flor Blake

I AM CONTINUALLY AMAZED AT PEOPLE’S STORIES — NOT JUST THE FAMOUS ONES. Every story, regardless of how well known the person, is important and unique. Only one person can tell your story: you.

So each opportunity to hear a new perspective, a new experience, changes your experience, shifts your perspective. There will be a moment during the conversation where someone expresses an idea that is new to you in some way. You stop mid-thought and recognize a new idea, a new expression, a new experience. You don’t necessarily acknowledge this shift at the time. Later when you think about it though, you’ll make note of the change, if only to yourself.

It’s this change that keeps me talking to new people. Everyone needs this variety in life. If we only talk to the same people about the same things all of the time, we stop growing and experiencing life in its richness.

It reminds me of my favorite scene in the movie Ratatouille. Remy the Rat is explaining to his brother about how incredible an experience food can be — how the flavors layer one on top of the other like instruments in an orchestra, until there is a symphony of flavor on your palate. It is this same melding of new people and new ideas that creates a symphonic life. You get my meaning.

If the idea of sharing ideas and experiences with new people doesn’t appeal to you, what if you just shared new ideas with people you already know? I understand that people have comfort zones, so all of this boundary pushing could be a little much. So, a baby step could be to read something new and share what you read with someone. It could spark an incredible conversation. I guarantee that you will not experience anything run-of-the-mill or ordinary in the exchange. And imagine what could happen.

You could find a new interest, learn someone new about someone you thought you knew. You might even inspire someone else.

Everyone has the opportunity to live a life filled with rich experiences and conversations.

Regardless of where you live, what you do or who you encounter just living your life, there is always the possibility of a life enriching experience.

With this New Year, we have been granted more time to find ways to add richness to our life; new conversations could inspire you to try a new food, read a new book, listen to a new band or even go back to school. So if you see me out somewhere, come up and strike up a conversation, I’m always up for it. I can always use a richer life!

Only one person can tell your story: you.

Robyn Vie-Carpenter is a social columnist on the local and national LGBT community. r See more of Robyn’s columns online at ofcnow.co/TLS or find her on Twitter @TheLesSocialite.

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

On being a food critic THE SAD WAYS WE FIND ENTERTAINMENT & JOY

By Jeff Steen

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“OH YOU MUST KNOW ALL ABOUT RESTAURANTS,” THEY SAY. BECAUSE I WORK, AS I say, for a magazine, that they say, has something to do with food. It’s all hearsay.

But I tell them anyway, because they’re interested: Indian food? 15th and Blake. Greek?

That’s tough. They serve roast beef at 17th and Downing; that’s the best I can do. Latin American–Lebanese fusion? Umm. Falafel King?

“What would you recommend there?”

“Well, since the Lebanese are strictly vegetarian by virtue of their religion,” I expound completely fallaciously, “order the duck.”

They nod, understanding everything. The duck, yes, vegetarian duck, certainly. Nod, nod. Yes. “Is it expensive?”

“The duck?”

“The restaurant.”

“Oh, it’s quite inexpensive. A steal really.” I scratch my chin, feeling for some stray bit of facial hair I can tug on. There isn’t any.

“So, would you say, $5?”

“For the duck?”

“For the bill.”

“Why wouldn’t you order the whole duck?”

“I would. I’d pay for that too.”

“But you’d order it separate from the bill?”

“No, it would be on the same bill.”

“So you’ve created a layered duck dish with bill on the bottom.”

“At the end of the meal?”

“No, I would have it as an entrée.”

“But how will I know how much it will cost?”

“Usually it’s on the menu.”

“The bill is on the menu?”

“Sure. If the duck is, the bill must be.”

“They place it on the menu?”

“I would assume so. Unless it’s a special.

Then you’ll have to ask.”

“A special bill?”

“Well not the bill specifically, just bills in general.”

“So I have to ask for the bill?”

“Precisely.”

“For the entrée.”

“Indeed.”

“And it’s vegetarian?”

“The bill is quite vegetarian.”

“Well I would assume so, but I’m not going to eat the bill.”

“No, no! It’s just there to bring out the flavors of the dish.”

“Indeed, but you pay for it.”

“Oh, with indigestion.”

“From the duck?”

“No, just the duck bill. But it’s worth it, my friend. Enjoy!”

And they go about their merry way, certain that the duck bill vegetarian dish at Falafel King will be a delightful treat for their extended family when they come to visit for the delicious holidays.

Food For Thought is a culinary column by Jeff Steen, Out Front’s food writer. r See more food articles at ofcnow.co/food.

Having trouble getting your mind off duck?

This recipe for duck soup ought to help.

Ingredients:

DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe

1 whole wild duck 4 cups duck blood 8 cups water 1 teaspoon salt

DJ’S 9TH AVENUE CAFE 865 Lincoln St. Denver • 303-386-3375 DjsCafe.biz

1 stalk celery, cut into 2 inch pieces 1 sprig chopped fresh parsley 1 cup heavy cream 5 whole allspice berries

Directions: 1. Cover whole duck with water in large stock pot. Add salt, and bring to a boil. Skim off foam.

2. Place celery, parsley, allspice, and cloves in a cheese cloth bag, and add to stock pot. Cover and cook over low heat until meat is tender, approximately 1 1/2 hours.

3. Remove cheese cloth bag from stock pot. Remove duck.

Discard bones, cut up meat, and return to the broth.

2 whole cloves 16 ounces pitted prunes 1/2 cup raisins 1 tart apple - peeled, cored & chopped 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon white sugar

LITTLE DRAGON 1305 Krameria Street, G Denver • 303-322-2128 LittleDragonDenver.com

24

JANUARY 1, 2014

salt and pepper to taste 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

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4. Mix in prunes, raisins and apple. Simmer for 30 minutes.

5. In a medium bowl, beat flour and sugar into cream until smooth. Beat in duck blood gradually. Add 1/2 cup hot soup stock to blood mixture, blending thoroughly. Pour mixture slowly back into stock pot, stirring constantly until soup comes to a boil. Season to taste with salt, pepper, lemon juice and vinegar.

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25

HIGH SOCIETY

The Pride of the Rockies: Aspen Gay Ski Week

Packed with shows and parties, the worldfamous Ski Week is more than a winter wonderland

THE LEGEND OF GEORGIA MCBRIDE

Jan. 10 - Feb 23 Champa & 13th • Denver DenverCenter.org

SPAMALOT Nov. 16 - Mar. 1 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • Boulder BouldersDinnerTheatre.com

RETURN TO PARIS Jan. 17 - 19 • Boettcher Concert Hall 1000 14th St. • Denver ColoradoSymphony.org

BOEING-BOEING Jan. 17 - Feb. 9 2450 W Main St. • Littleton TownHallArtsCenter.com

JANUARY 1, 2014

WHEN MOST OF THE COUNTRY IS EITHER CELEBRATING OR LAMENTING THE POSTHOLIDAY HUSH — that time of year when all the raucous New Year’s parties give way to the tedious repacking of ornaments — Aspen yanks the covers off steaming hot tubs, pours everyone a glass of bubbly and asks, “Why so serious?

We’re just getting started up here!”

This month, people from all corners of the earth will flock to our beloved state for Aspen Gay Ski Week 2014. On January 12, the most celebrity-friendly resort town in Colorado plans on rolling out the red carpet for the throng of LGBT revelers who want to ring in 2014 proper — with a full week of slopes, skis and skin.

And they’ve had plenty of time for party planning. For nearly four decades, the mountaintop menagerie has kept revelers entertained with schedules packed to the hilt.

“It’s like summer camp for gay adults,” says Jim Guttau, AGSW’s public relations rep who also attends each year. “Some of these people you only see [during AGSW] … people from Australia, U.K., Brazil, Germany, and Mexico. It’s an international event.”

“We get all ages,” Guttau says. “I’d say the late-20s to 40s age group is the majority, though.”

JIM’S HOT TIPS

CINDERELLA Feb. 14 - 23 1278 Lincoln St www.coloradoballet.org

26

By Berlin Sylvestre

FOR ASPEN GAY SKI WEEK FIRST-TIMERS

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Though the schedule is packed with different kinds of events, many Ski Week–goers stick to daily mainstays. Daily hot tub parties in their 22-person tubs make for a warm way to make acquaintances. The Meatball Shack and Finnbarr’s are recommended for a brew with bros — which is sort of how Ski Week started in the first place.

Legend has it that back in the mid-70s, a gaggle of gay men ascended upon Aspen to test the frozen waters of a new stomping ground.

They took one look at the locals and determined the water was fiiiiiine. The gents met other gents, and before long, they were making memories in beer-soaked condo parties that were the stuff of legend. Not ones to walk away from a good thing, the group of out-of-staters took turns organizing a week of hedonistic merriment that would take place each January on the very mountain it was conceived, and thus, our magical Aspen Gay Ski Week was given to the world.

“It began as a way to meet guys and have fun,” reads a statement on the event’s website.

“But at its roots Aspen Gay Ski Week is also about politics and civil rights.”

Indeed. In 1992, Colorado passed the infamous Amendment 2 to nullify any and all legal protections for gays and lesbians. National boycotts CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE t

“Buy passes and you get into all the nightly events free. If you can’t afford the passes, all the nightly apres ski events at Limelight Hotel are free. There’s always a cash bar, DJ, oversized hot tubs, changing rooms, swag and meetups with local LGBT vendors.”

“Some people don’t realize, but certain places have a different menu at the bar area of their restaurant that’s not as expensive than the menu in the dining area.” He also recommends EatAspen.com for the low-down on deals.

r See the full 2014 events schedule online at ofcnow.co/skiweek

of Colorado began, slashing the number of Ski Week attendees by more than half. Thankfully, the ruling was overturned by the Supreme Court in 1996, and the number of partygoers for AGSW grew to more than 5,000 annually.

What’s more, Colorado gave civil unions the green light last May, so the event planners at AGSW got to work on a great idea for 2014: a group civil union ceremony. Is the event literally a ceremony with legal bindings?

“Yes!” Guttau said. “It’s official.”

Jim tells us that AGSW isn’t all about skiing. “Skiers come and end up not skiing because they’re too busy partying. [Apart from skiing], there’s shopping, spas, history tours, dog sledding, paragliding, snowmobiling — even hunting and fishing.”

How about comedy? Mario Cantone (Anthony from Sex and the City) plans to grab a mic and tickle ribs this year. If Aspen Gay Ski Week is like Pride in the mountains, Friday’s downhill costume event is the parade, where drag performers try to stay upright while performing all the way down the slope. “It’s hilarious and the whole town comes out for it,” Guttau said. “There’s got to be more than a thousand people watching.” There’s also an all-ladies party on Friday for all the lovelies who are ready for more bosom than buddy on the dance floor.

Though gay ski weeks are common around the world, only Aspen’s event benefits the community.

“The funds from AGSW go to the Roaring Fork Gay and Lesbian Community Fund, who does lots for schools in the area on promoting tolerance and anti-bullying,” Guttau said. “If you can imagine all the money collected, from passes to cocktails, being given to charity — that’s pretty impressive. Last year, Drew Carey performed and donated the funds to charity.” The organization also plans support for The Trevor Project, a tollfree suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth.

With an international LGBT party virtually in our backyard, we can don our gay apparel every year even after the holidays are over. You’ve got two weeks to make it happen. Head to ofcnow.co/aspen2014 and check out the schedule.

OPENING PARTY @ HOTEL JEROME

SUNDAY “The opening party at Hotel Jerome is always really fun. It’s kind of like a reunion.” A fresh makeover for the bar and hotel means it’s time to break it in.

MONDAY “The party at Escobar! The club is like the inside of an airplane cabin.

It’s also subterranean, which is cool.”

TUESDAY “The Sky Hotel is definitely hopping. It’s a good party scene for the younger apres ski folks. The design is funky and they don’t mind if you use the hot tubs as a non-guest.”

WEDNESDAY “The Caribou Club is legendary and usually only lets members in. For the HRC fundraiser, everyone is invited and it’s a really cool event.”

THURSDAY “After Mario Cantone, Belly Up is going to be really fun. There’s live music and lots of dancing.”

FRIDAY “In the daytime, the downhill parade; later, the on-mountain apres ski. A gondola ride takes you up 11,000 feet and you dance until 1 A.M., then take the gondola down. It’s something you never get to do.”

SATURDAY “The pool party is crazy! It’s super high end. It has a lazy river, water slides, an open bar. Picture a thousand people in their swimsuits partying until 1 in the morning.”

“But EVERY DAY (from 3 - 7 P.M.), I look forward to the apres ski events.

They’re super-casual.”

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CAFE VIVID

COMING EVENTS JAN

The Travesty of Lear

2-25

@ THE BETSY STAGE, 1133 SOUTH HURON ST. THURS, FRI & SAT AT 8 P.M. // SUN AT 2 P.M. An original adaptation of Shakespeare’s Tragedy of King Lear set in the Wild West. Lear, a saloon owner, puts his three favorite prostitutes to the test as he divides his kingdom. Designed to surprise and amuse audiences. All performances are FREE, donations are accepted. Seating is limited – reservations required. r more info online at ofcnow.co/e5E

JAN

3 Fri

BABES AROUND DENVER’S FIRST FRIDAY

JAN

12½ Days of 2-5 Xmas LIVE! @ DENVER MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART 1485 DELGANY STREET 5 P.M. WEEKDAYS & NOON WEEKENDS The few, the proud, the weird. MCA Denver proudly presents a series of unique shows and performances, including new talent every night, see link for show titles. Free with museum admission. r more info online at ofcnow.co/FOT

WERK OUT Palace

@ TRACKS / EXDO • 3500 WALNUT ST. • 6 P.M. TO 2 A.M.

JAN

The largest monthly women’s party in the nation rings in 2014 with DJ’s Markie, Tatiana, and Blaque Gurl.

Dance, drink and mingle with more than 1,200 lesbians and their friends — all are welcome.

21+. $5 cover until 9 p.m., $7 from 9 p.m. to close | Photo: Charles Broshous

6

Mon

Proudly Speaking Toastmasters

@ THE GLBT COMMUNITY CENTER OF COLORADO 1301 E. COLFAX AVE. • 6 P.M. Learn Speaking and Leadership skills in a supportive, friendly LGBT club — all are welcome.

Free. Meets first and third Monday of every month. r more info online at ofcnow.co/sL7

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Find more upcoming Colorado events or add your own online at ofcnow.co/cal

JAN

[ FIND MORE ]

r more info online at ofcnow.co/firstfriday

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

SexCom Sexuality &

11 Sat

comedy show

@ BLUSH & BLU 1526 E. COLFAX AVE. 7:30 P.M. Laughter, learning and libations at SexCom, a funny sexuality course with comedienne Debbie Sheer and sexologist Shanna Katz. Email sexual wellness questions in advance or ask anonymously on index cards at the event.

LGBTQ and ally-inclusive, 21+.

SexCom will recur monthly with future dates to be announced. r more info online at ofcnow.co/SexCom

JA N

12 Sun

Lamont Faculty Recital Joseph Galema, organ

@ NEWMAN CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS 2344 EAST ILIFF AVENUE • 4:30 P.M Joseph Galema, a Lamont faculty member, is also Music Director and Academy Organist at the United States Air Force Academy.

Dr. Galema performs “Back to Bach,” an all-Bach program, on the magnificent William K. Coors organ. $10, free parking r more info online at ofcnow.co/buG

JA N

15 Wed

Voodoo Doughnut Grand Opening @ VOODOO DOUGHNUT DENVER 1520 E. COLFAX AVE. Hone your inner hipster at the place so loved by bohemians that Voodoo Doughnut weddings are, yes, really a thing. Portland’s world-famous doughnut shop — featured on IFC’s Portlandia — officially opens its first store outside Oregon.

Saturate your sweet tooth with the Mango Tango (filled with mango jelly and dusted with powdered Tang), the giant cream-filled cock-andballs doughnut and the ‘Gay Bar’ (a classic Long John with a row of colorful Fruit Loops on top) and more.

Open 24 hours a day beginning Jan. 15.

JAN

12–19

@ ASPEN, COLORADO

Aspen Gay Ski Week, the nation’s largest and oldest gay ski event, returns for its 37th year with a full lineup of skiing, parties, fitness classes, shows and more every night of the week — seven days of festivities just a threeand-a-half hour drive from Denver. Proceeds from Ski Week benefit Roaring Fork Gay and Lesbian Community Fund. r more info online at ofcnow.co/aspen2014

SUN OPENING PARTY @ HOTEL JEROME

MON LATE NIGHT RETRO DANCE PARTY @ ESCOBAR

r more info online at ofcnow.co/voodoo

JAN

JAN

16

18

Thu

Sat

Charitable Concert Series

TUE FILM NIGHT GALA PARTY @ 39 DEGREES

@ JAZZ AT JACKS 500 16TH STREET MALL #320 • ALL DAY

WED HRC BENEFIT COUNTRY DANCE PARTY

All Fours Entertainment Charitable Concert Series is featuring Soul Trumpeteer Lin Rountree to help benefit The Alzheimer’s Association Colorado Chapter.

Tickets start at $25; visit link below for more info

An evening with Dr. Peter Gray

Aspen Gay Ski Week

THU COMEDY NIGHT FEATURING MARIO CANTONE

r more info online at ofcnow.co/faR

FRI

author of Free to Learn

RED PARTY WITH DJ DYLAN

@ ALPINE VALLEY SCHOOL 4501 PARFET STREET, WHEAT RIDGE 6:30 P.M. TO 9:00 P.M.

SAT "ALL FOR LOVE" GROUP CIVIL UNION CEREMONY GAYWATCH POOL PARTY

Join us for an evening with Dr. Peter Gray, author of Free to Learn. The topic of his presentation will be “The Biology of Education: How Children Learn Through Self-Directed Play and Exploration” r more info online at ofcnow.co/jsF OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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WEEKLY SPECIALS FROM OUT FRONT’S LGBT-INCLUSIVE BAR PARTNERS.

AQUA LOUNGE

CHARLIE’S

TUESDAYS

DAILY BEER SPECIAL

Mile Hi Bullseye Dart League.

Open play and free darts at 10 p.m., league play at 7 p.m.

$4 for a 32 oz. domestic pitcher and $8 for a premium pitcher

Facebook.com/Aqua.Denver

WEDNESDAYS

Wet Wednesday Dance party with DJ Tatiana and GoGo Dancers; 75 cent beers, $2 wells, $4 Absolut.

THURSDAYS

Karaoke hosted by Dave Myers at 8 p.m.; half-price bar from 8-9 p.m.

BLACK CROWN

e Queer Bust @ Compound Basix

CharliesDenver.com

THURSDAYS: 1/2 PRICE NIGHT FRIDAYS:

$10 Buddy Beer Bust, 5 p.m. $3 Absolut, 9 p.m.

SATURDAYS: $5 Beer Bust, 2 p.m.

SUNDAYS: Drag show, 9 p.m.

EL POTRERO

Facebook.com/el.potrero.180 DRAG WEDNESDAYS: NO COVER

DAILY HAPPY HOUR

2-for-1 beers, $3 rum, and vodka specials, $2 drafts

4 p.m. – 6 p.m.

GO-GO FRIDAYS: NO COVER

BlackCrownLounge.com

MONDAYS

1/2 price select bottles of wine SUNDAYS Martinis & Misbehavin’ with Cora Vette and $8 Kettle One martinis

BLUSH & BLU

BlushBluBar.com DAILY HAPPY HOUR

$3 wells, vino, domestics, lattes; $1.50 PBR’s; $4 shots of Fireball 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.

FRIDAYS

Karaoke at 9 p.m.

SUNDAYS Molly’s famous $4 Bloodys

$2 rum and vodka specials, $2 drafts, $5 Jose Cuervo, $15 beer buckets and $5 Jager shots

HAMBURGER MARY’S

HamburgerMarys.com/denver HOURS OF OPERATION

11 a.m. to 2 a.m., Thursday through Saturday.

VISIT WEBSITE FOR SPECIALS

LI’L DEVILS

LilDevilsLounge.com WEDNESDAYS

$4 22-ounces tanks of your choice.

SUNDAYS: TRIVIA NIGHT

BOYZTOWN

Compete for free drinks and bar tabs, starting at 7:30 p.m., $3 Smirnoff.

HAPPY HOUR

PIRATES COVE • PUEBLO

BoyzTownDenver.com Monday-Thursday: 3 – 8 p.m.

U CALLS

Monday–Thursday: Absolut $4.50 Friday & Sunday: Stoli $4.50 Friday–Sunday: 3Olives $4.50

BROADWAYS

BroadwaysDenver.com HAPPY HOUR

Mon – Fri: 2pm – 9pm Sat & Sun: 12pm – 9pm $2.25 Wells | $2.00 Domestic Drafts | $3.75 Svedka Flavors & Domestic Mini Pitchers CUSTOMER APPRECIATION NIGHT

Mondays at 9pm

CLUB Q • COLO. SPRINGS ClubQOnline.com

COMPOUND BASIX CompoundDenver.com DAILY HAPPY HOURS

7 - 10 a.m. & 5 - 8 p.m. $2.50 wells, $3 domestic longnecks, $2 off calls FRIDAY & SATURDAY DANCE PARTIES

$2 Well Vodka & $3 Svedka BEER BUSTS

Saturdays, 6 – 10 p.m., $8.

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A benefit for transgender programs @ The Center | Photos by Charles Broshous

Facebook.com/ piratescoveeventspage

TRACKS

TracksDenver.com SUPERSTAR THURSDAYS

18 + dance party Cover: 18-20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10 p.m.

ELEVATED SATURDAYS

2-for-1 drinks between 9 – 10 p.m.

No cover before 10 p.m.

WRANGLER

DenverWrangler.com WEDNESDAYS: TRIVIA NIGHT

Geeks who Drink Pub Trivia 8 p.m. $2 house vodka, Bud & Coors pints SATURDAYS

$3 Svedka // 2nd Saturday SWEET 5th Saturday RETRO SWEET! SUNDAYS: BEER BUST

$8 Legendary Beer Bust (4-8 p.m.)

X BAR

XBarDenver.com MONDAY–SATURDAY

BOGO happy hour: 3 p.m. – 6 p.m.

SUNDAY

$5 lemonade buckets all day SOCIAL

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FOR TWITTER UPDATES AND INTERACTIVE MAP GO TO OFCNOW.CO/BTAB

1446 S. Broadway Denver, CO 80210 720.353.4701

th S t.

P

700 E 17th Ave Denver, CO 80203 (303) 832-1333

ar

A

ve

nu

e

W es

Colfax Ave.

C

Broadway

E. 2nd Ave.

Monaco Pkwy.

Krameria St.

Colfax Ave.

D

Colorado Blvd.

Humboldt St.

H

t

Emerson St.

Washington St.

Logan St.

E. 17th Ave.

k

Downing St.

Broadway

E. 20th Ave.

E. 18th Ave.

Downing St.

t. ut S

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ln Wa

4501 E Virginia Ave Denver, Colorado 80246 • (303) 388-8889 www.facebook.com/elpotreroclub

A G

E 14th Ave.

E. 1st Ave.

W Byers Pl. Alameda Ave.

B

A . AQUA LOUNGE

E . CHARLIES

I. LI’L DEVILS

B . BLACK CROWN

F. COMPOUND BASIX

J. TRACKS

C . BLUSH & BLU

G. EL POTRERO

K . WRANGLER

D. BOYZTOWN

H . HAMBURGER MARY’S

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RADIOACTIVE VISION

Gay is the New Boring

IS BEING ACCEPTED LIKE EVERYONE ELSE TURNING OUT TO BE A SNOOZE FEST? We could devote time to our I did not become a drag queen to be another t I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD bodies, our pets, our hobbies and contestant on a TV show. I came out to shock peoHAPPEN — GAY HAS FINALLY our bank accounts. Children were ple, to make them cringe, to make them squirm, BECOME HO-HUM, DULL, BLAH, not leeching our time and money to make them realize not everyone fits the same BLAND. GAY IS THE NEW BORING. with their soccer games and col- mold. I came out as a drag queen to make people Gay used to be so exciting. We lege tuition. We were free spirits laugh, to keep them from taking themselves too were all double agents, secretly with very few responsibilities and seriously, to raise boatloads of money for charity. flaunting our fabulous gay lives by Being gay means we are different. Being gay lots of time for frolicking and fun. night and covering up with our Clark We could shock our friends means we are creative. Being gay means we are Kent and Lois Lane suits by day. We NOT BORING. and families by coming out of all had something hidden that very Equal rights and acceptance is a the closet. Oh what fun it few knew about, not our co-workers, double-edged sword. The problem is was to surprise those not our classmates, and many times Nuclia Waste that both edges get dull, dull, dull. that could not see not even our parents. It was thrilling It’s time to sharpen our deliciousthe forest for the trees. Hello, big and an adrenaline rush.

I DID NOT ness, sharpen our wit, sharpen Do they know? Can they tell? Do you think red gay truck. How could you our sense of fun. We need to they will find out? Will I slip up by leaving out miss it? I’m a big homo. I’m a COME OUT derail the gay train headed to my copy of 1001 Fun Things to Do with a Dildo big lesbo.

OF THE CLOSET suburbia and get it back on the But now gay is as common on the coffee table when grandma pops over for TO BE BORING. fabulous track. Let’s make it our an unannounced visit? We all had a BIG SECRET as anal beads. Everyone has one resolution for 2014 to ban boring or three. And if they don’t, they and it was thrilling. and embrace creativity, camp and We were living on the edge, both figuratively know someone who does. fun. Let’s put the gay back into gay.

Gay is everywhere from the local and literally. We had our gay ghettos, our gayborhoods, our unmarked bars and bathhouses. PTA to the county clerk and recorders ofWe ruled the late dance scene with our discos fice. Gays adopt and give birth, gays get married, Nuclia Waste, the triple-nipple drag queen of comedy, and drag clubs. If the straights wanted to have gays get elected. We have become like everyone is Out Front’s radioactive cultural columnist. fun, they had to dip their toes into our crazy and else. And it’s turning into one big snooze fest. r See more columns at ofcnow.co/nuclia or contact I did not come out of the closet to be boring. her through her website at NucliaWaste.com. outrageous world.

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ON THE SCENE

e 80s Ski Attire & 2nd Annual Toy Drive HAMBURGER MARY’S x

Dec. 15

x

photos by Charles Broshous

Hamburger Mary’s 2nd Annual Toy Drive and 80’s Ski Attire Party was held on December 15.

The event which was sponsored by SVEDKA and hosted by Alexandra Winters, encouraged patrons in snowsuits and ski goggles to bring in an unwrapped toy for Children’s Hospital. The event featured drink specials, prizes for the best ski outfit, giveaways from SVEDKA and the musical stylings of DJ Christopher. r See more photos online at ofcnow.co/mSy

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ON THE SCENE

e First Friday TRACKS x

Dec. 6

x

photos by Charles Broshous

Babes Around Denver hosted the December edition of First Friday at Tracks on December 6. Hundreds of women and a few men turned out for the largest monthly women’s party in the United States. This month’s party, dubbed “Naughty or Nice” featured DJs Markie, Tatiana, Blaque Gurl and Donna playing country, retro, top 40, hip hop and more. r See more photos online at ofcnow.co/3az

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INTERVIEW

Inclusivity advocate hopes to change sports culture

FORMER NFL PLAYER WADE DAVIS, OPENLY GAY, GREW UP IN COLORADO

By Paul Collanton THE ‘YOU CAN PLAY PROJECT’ IS MAKING ITS MARK ON SPORTS CULTURE, DEDICATED TO ENSURING EQUALITY, RESPECT AND SAFETY to all athletes regardless of sexual orientation.

Wade Davis is the new Executive Director — a former NFL player who graduated from Overland High School in Aurora, Colorado and began his college football career at Mesa State College in Grand Junction. The 36-year-old spoke with Out Front about coming out as gay last year, sports, career advice, and what we all can do to support his organization’s mission.

‘The OUT List’ is a HBO documentary that you were featured in with other high-profile names in LGBT culture. What was your experience like doing that project?

It was one of those very surreal moments. I’ve never seen myself as this advocate or this public figure, for lack of a better word. To have the

people who are at HBO want to have my story be told was truly an honor and I was extremely nervous. I was very young as far as in my disclosure of my orientation so I was like, “I hope I don’t say anything stupid.” I was hyper-vigilant about everything that I was saying, but to be honest I was just humbled to be a part of it.

It’s been more than a year since you’ve come out publicly. How do you reflect on that experience? What does it feel like looking back at that now?

It feels like I’m a completely different person. It feels as if I have re-birthed. The amount of information I have been able to retain and understand — I went back to school, I would say that I took an American studies and women studies and gender studies classes and I just learned such a wealth of knowledge that I feel as if I’m a different person, and the best type of person that tries to have lack of judgment, that really tries to look at every experience through the eyes of someone else because every experience is very individual. I’m also really coming to understand who I am and to really own a lot of my own fears and to lean in and walk through everything and not try to go around it or over it.

Let’s talk about your new gig as the Executive Director of the ‘You Can Play Project;’ that’s really exciting.

It is. It was a true honor to have the three co-founders trust me with something that’s almost like a baby to them, and I’m really being conscious of really trying to understand what their original mission was for when they started this organization – and to really make sure that my values and ideas are in line with that and see change in the work, to really see that you can create an impact whether it’s high school sports, college sports or even the professional level and really understand that athletes actually aren’t as homophobic as we assumed, that athletes do embrace difference. I’m really excited about what the next three to five years will look like, especially on the landscape of sports, and how the ‘You Can Play Project’ can be a real force in helping to shape culture.

Aside from financial support, what are some other ways that listeners and people who are interested in the organization can support the project?

It’s really about creating an awareness of the work that we’re doing, and talking to your friends, to your family, to high schools, to corporations and really say, “There’s this organization out there that is really passionate about changing culture in the sports world and removing homophobia” and see if there’s a way that (the) organizations can actually partner. We don’t believe that we’re the only people who should be doing this work

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and we don’t believe that we’re the smartest ones either, so we would love to create amazing partnerships to do as much as we can to really change sports culture. And to also have any young person who is interested in sports who is interested in being a part of what ‘You Can Play’ is doing to reach out to us to do a ‘You Can Play’ video. Whatever a young person or older person thinks that they want to do that can really help our mission, we are all ears.

At what point to you believe it will no longer be a big deal to be out in professional sports?

And what do you think it will take for us to get there?

I don’t think that we’re as far off as some people may think. I think one of the biggest things that everyone wants is for there to be this watershed moment when you have five, ten, fifteen, twenty athletes all come out in a row. We have to be conscious of the fact that disclosure of one’s sexuality is so individual. The reason why I came out at 28 is different from why someone may wait and come out at 50 or why a young person may come out at 15.

I think that what we’re really doing is creating a conversation around homophobia and acceptance and inclusion in sports that’s never been had before so you’re getting a chance to see so many straight-identified players from Kobe Bryant to Dwyane Wade to Robert Griffith III to really speak up in support of LGBT individuals in sports, and that’s really helping to shape culture.

There’s really this kind of trickle-down effect.

I’m not a believer in trickle-down economics, but I do believe that there is a way where individuals can see athletes who they aspire to be and say, “Oh wow, Kobe Bryant just said something really amazing around LGBT issues, am I missing something here?” I think that we are experiencing this move, this shift in consciousness, where people are really understanding that if you can play a sport, you should be allowed to actually play.

What advice might you give to someone who wants to achieve their dreams in today’s world of partial acceptance of LGBT people? Is there anything you’ve learned in your training for football that might be able to be applied to any goal that somebody might have?

The biggest thing is to be persistent, honestly. A coach once told me, and it was my favorite quote, he said, “Wade, what are you going to do when no one’s watching?” Am I doing everything that it takes to be the best? Whether it’s me wanting to be the best comedian or talk show host, I need to make sure that I actually have the talent and the skills to back up any job that I’m going for so I don’t give a person any reason to ever reject me. r To listen to the full interview on Gay Ambition Podcast online, visit ofcnow.co/davis

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37

BEAUTY

Letting go of ‘letting ourselves go’ BEATING THE NEW YEAR’S POST-HOLIDAY BODY IMAGE GUILT TRIP

By Kelsey Lindsey WITH THE END OF THE HOLIDAYS AND THE START OF A NEW YEAR, I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF DREADING TRIPS TO THE GYM. It’s not the cold weather or sudden increase of newly resolution-minded people that deter me — it’s the conversations that fill locker rooms and cycle studios: “Ugh, I seem to gain more and more weight every Christmas.” “Whyyy did I have to have those leftover cookies for dessert last night?” “Thank god it’s sweater weather so I can hide this tummy.”

December may be the month of holiday cheer, but January seems to have morphed into a 31-day guilt trip, where all those festivities — and the inevitable cocktails and cookies that come with them — hang over us like Scrooge’s ghosts. Like the festive cover of snow turning into a roadway nuisance, we begin to see those endless parties and family meals as evenings of regret rather than festive gatherings.

This constant state of self-loathing permeates the gym and tends to add a new intensity to my workouts. Thirty minutes on the treadmill turns to 40, while I bump up my regular 15 bicep curls to 20. Suddenly, I’m wrapped up in the gym frenzy where repentance for a fun holiday season is the norm, with each cookie consumed met with a minimal 10 pushups as atonement.

So now you can see why I hate the post– New Year’s gym community. I’m sick of feeling guilty about the fun times I enjoyed with family and friends. I’m sick of the (admittedly larger) number on my scale taking prominence over the Christmas photos in my camera. Some may say that adapting certain dietary restrictions over the season can help with these January blues.

But really, how much fun would you have had substituting celery for peppermint bark and water for rum-spiked eggnog? Little to none, in my opinion.

So to avoid these dark feelings causing spoil to my otherwise lovely holiday memories, I’ve

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taken it upon myself to set up some parameters for my January trips to the gym. Before I let this obsessive fitness-frenzy wash over me, I will remind myself: 1. That I am here to improve my future health, not to atone for past meals.

2. That I will focus on the memories made during those meals, not the food consumed.

And most importantly...

3. Five pounds or ten, no weight loss plan is worth any amount of self-loathing. We deserve to be happy this year, regardless of the number on the scale.

Kelsey Lindsey is Out Front’s beauty columnist writing from an affirming perspective on being your best you. r See more beauty columns at ofcnow.co/beauty or contact Kelsey at kelsey.a.lindsey@gmail.com.

METROPOLITAN

WE ARE FAMILY! Cool, Calm & Eclectic FIVE WAYS TO CREATE YOUR OWN ECLECTIC DESIGN

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Photos and story by Nicholas Ferguson t DESIGN ENTHUSIAST CORLEY BOWEN HAS A UNIQUE GIFT FOR MIXING DIVERSE PIECES TO EXQUISITE EFFECT. Located in the Santa Fe Art District, this design was inspired by the challenge of living in a small space. In talking about small space design, Corley says “small spaces are less wasteful, more cost effective and they inspire creativity.”

Here are 5 ways you can create an eclectic space of your own.

1. Showcase what you love A diverse collection of fedora hats, mixed with vintage jewelry and art from a local gallery can be utilized to create impactful wall décor. A room will begin to feel unique when you selectively display personal items. When you are feeling like you need to make a change to a space, you can try rotating out these pieces to gain a fresh perspective on the space.

2. Create a balance between modern & ornate If you fill a space with only ornate objects, you may find yourself living in a room that resembles a flea market. Balance these ornate items by devoting some space for something modern. Corley has created this look by adding the two mid-mod sofas that provide a stable modern concept to the room.

3. Fewer pieces make a bigger statement Choose a few pieces that make an impact to the space, and minimize items that are just being used to fill the space. An eclectic design can still feel deliberate if you are selective in the home décor you are

displaying. Too many items in one room and you will start to look like an episode of Hoarders.

4. Go boldly where no designer has gone before Don’t be afraid to combine various styles, blend pieces throughout the house, and pick bold colors or materials. Corley used her bold creativity to reupholster a vintage Barcelona chair, combine materials to create a built murphy bed, and even repurposed a vintage Bordeaux wine jug as a drop pendant light. Eclectic design offers you a chance to create a look that no one can imitate.

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5. Create a focal point This can take the design from fun to fabulous! The focal point in the room should make you stop in your tracks and immediately take notice.

Since our eyes generally will follow the lines in a room, the furniture and activity in a room will usually revolve around the focal point. This can be a fabulous view of the fireplace, or a beautiful piece of art.

Creating a great focal point can also assist you with taking the attention away from less favorable features in the space.

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THRIVE

Keeping your New Year’s resolutions t You’ve set your sights on a commendable goal, but statistics show that fewer than 1 in 5 New Year’s resolutions are actually kept.

How do we turn each year’s spark of ambition for selfbetterment into a long-term success? These tips from sound research, experience and good common sense will help.

BE REALISTIC.

One powerful way to make your New Year’s resolution stick is being able to take pride in your initial success.

Most people make resolutions to solve something they haven’t been good at in the past, so think of resolutions in terms of small, achievable steps. Want to save money? Resolve to put an extra 10 percent of each paycheck in a savings account — plus a little extra whenever you can — rather than a number so high you immediately miss the mark and end up making excuses.

BE SPECIFIC.

Set measurements, activities or tasks you can check off as having fulfilled your goal for that day.

If your resolution is too vague, it’s harder to see your progress. Improve your resolution to “get healthy” by tasking yourself to include one fresh fruit with every breakfast, or a resolution to “de-stress” by committing to a short walk or 10 minutes of quiet meditation every lunch break.

FOCUS ON YOUR COMMITMENT, NOT THE OUTCOME.

Don’t get hung up on factors you can’t control, and know you’re making a difference.

You can resolve to get a better job, but it will only happen when something opens up. Instead, commit to send out one resume per week. You can resolve to lose

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5 pounds in January, but sometimes you do everything right and it still doesn’t show up on the scale. Instead, set specific goals for healthy eating and exercise. Be proud of what you accomplished and have faith it will change your life in the long run.

DON’T LET A SCREW-UP MEAN GIVE UP.

If it was easy, you would have already been doing it before you made it your New Year’s resolution.

Resolved to quit smoking, but end up bumming a few? Cutting out sugar, but end up chowing down on box of doughnuts? It’s not the end of the world — just re-commit the next day. You can also assign yourself a way to “make-up” for every slip-up, like walking a mile for every cigarette you smoke, or an extra $50 in your savings account to make up for a time you skipped on saving. That way, you can pat yourself on the back without having to be perfect.

TELL FRIENDS AND FAMILY ABOUT YOUR GOALS.

People who care about you will help you stay on track.

Not only are you making yourself more accountable to your resolution, but you’re also letting friends, family or coworkers know they matter and make a difference in your life. When you have a conversation about your goal and the progress you’ve made to a friend, you also gain encouragement and respect — a worthwhile reward in itself.

BIG TOYS 2014 Lexus IS350 F-Sport

Resolve your New Year’s resolution: eco-friendly or speed?

By Jonathan McGrew IT SEEMS EVERY TIME THE CALENDAR IS JUST ABOUT TO FLIP OVER TO ANOTHER YEAR, we use those last few strokes before midnight to make our resolutions — or sometimes even retroactively invent one after we return to work and some do-gooder at the water cooler puts us on the spot by asking what we chose. Aside from the often-needed “procrastinate less,” two of the top resolutions Americans choose are to live a more environmentally-friendly lifestyle, or to cut back on stress by having more fun.

As many resolve to be more “green,” and others resolve to enjoy their lives a little more, a question arises — when it comes to cars that honor your resolution, which do you pick?

The immediate choice for being more ecofriendly is the Toyota Prius. For a little more spice in your life we might suggest a Porsche 911 or Corvette, however, for most those vehicles don’t cut it for day-to-day living — especially if it is your only set of wheels. For a sporty vehicle that you can still live with, we suggest considering the 2014 Lexus IS350 F-Sport — a vehicle all-new for the 2014 model year.

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There is no doubt that the Prius is the go-to hybrid on the market. You get that luxury when you blaze the trail. Speaking of luxury, the Prius comes in a range of models numbered up to five.

The Five Model, like our test vehicle, is the top-ofthe-line in the Prius family with a luxury twist.

The MSRP might surprise some as it tips the scales at $35,704; I know it surprised me.

Price aside, the Five Model gives you all the benefits of the base model Prius Hybrid like five doors, a 50-mpg combined rating from the EPA and 5-star overall vehicle crash rating.

The extra benefits include SoftTex (leather like material) trimmed heated seats, intelligent key with push button start, navigation, adaptive cruise control, lane keep assistance, heads-up display and more. Other than that, the Prius is exactly what it has been meant to be all the way along: easy on gasoline and affordable, even at the highest trim level.

As many of our readers know, I appreciate the technology of the Prius, but crave something a little more exciting. Enter the 2014 Lexus IS350 F-Sport. The best part is that it is also made by Toyota. The IS family has been redesigned for the 2014 model year. You have

probably seen them on the road and as a friend of mine said, “That is the sexiest car I have seen you driving.” The F-Sport represents the sports package comparable to vehicles like the BMW 3-Series M Sport. In other words, it is mostly an appearance package.

The F-Sport we had rang in at an MSRP of $49,600, was in Matador Red Mica and has 306-hp coming from a 3.5-liter V6. It also comes equipped with real leather trimmed sports seats, navigation, Adaptive Variable Suspension, blind spot monitoring and cross-traffic alert and an impressive F-Sport only instrument cluster that physically moves to reveal different vehicle information. What is even better is that it is a very sporty looking and feeling vehicle with rail-like handling and full time All-Wheel Drive. It will satisfy you sports car craving while still having a 60/40 split folding rear seat and good trunk room.

For this year’s resolution, the 21-mpg combined of the F-Sport might not compare to the Prius, but the silver lining of this comparison is Toyota gives you the ability to answer either resolution with quality, innovation and value for your money.

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43

SEXUALITY

ASK THE SEXPERT

The uncarnal knowledge of an asexual male

Where’s the line for ‘cheating’ in a relationship?

MYTHS AND REALITIES ON WHAT ASEXUALITY MEANS

may know it. Love, however, is a different theme and one that asexuals can agree is possible (bett BRIAN’S BEEN MY MOTORCYCLE AND ter, even) without sex.

“I’ve fallen in love with a woman before,” BriADVENTURE BUDDY FOR AWHILE NOW, and though we’ve wagged our chins well into the night an told me in a later conversation. I ask how that on countless topics for years, it only recently oc- went, which feels odd because I was there; he just curred to me that we’ve never talked much about didn’t give in to my suspicions during that time. women. I always assumed, because of his dallianc- “You know how bad heartbreak is, right? I was es with a soft-spoken Bohemian lass many years heartbroken before anything began.”

I ask, “Why didn’t you just tell her?” ago, sharing smooches with senoritas was some“I already knew she was going to want sex and thing we had in common. Apparently not.

Brian is tall and lean with dark hair and pale family life eventually and that’s not what I want, skin, long lashes and bright brown puppy dog eyes. personally. It’s not as sad as it sounds. I’m still His nose stands out like the ones you see in ancient comfortable with who I am. Everyone has their Roman art, and his lips are (not to be weird but) own sack of rocks when it comes to life and love.”

I remind him of Bohemian Girl — that girl he delicately shaped and always red with the telltale blush of vitality. (I’m gay; not blind!) He’s brainy, hung out with many years ago.

“I’ve had tendencies,” Brian admits, reminiscsweet, athletic, makes gorgeous music, teaches basketball to neighborhood kids who absolutely ing unfondly about the trappings of relationships adore him — he’s just good people. So why isn’t (“ … time and emotions, mostly … ”) and waves a he bestowing that genuine good-guy stuff onto an hand emphatically, as if shooing gnats. “I’m fine equally amazing lady (or lad, if that be the case)? as I am. I will say that I think society is pushing “Because I’m asexual,” he fime [to be sexual], especially as a guy, and when I push back, nally told me one day over the it seems like my (perceived) phone. My mind rewound and I already knew ‘sexual suppression’ is makreplayed the words like a DVR she was going to want in action, to make sure I heard ing me defensive and uptight, sex and family life them right. “I’m not into sex, when really it’s just me being Berlin,” he reiterated, then said frustrated at the model I’m eventually and that’s he had to run some errands. supposed to follow.” not what I want, Wallowing in a thousand quesI ask for an example. personally. It’s not as “OK, if I have a physical retions, I took to Google. sad as it sounds.

I found that there’s not sponse to a girl, I’m expected much literature outlining the to follow through with it. I’ve foundations of asexuality, but been called gay, a ‘pussy,’ a what is there sounds mostly academic. Interest- Bible beater, stuff like that, because I don’t think ing when you consider that there are virtually having an erection obligates me to either try to no readily-available scientific studies that aim to (have sex with) her or run off and masturbate.” decipher asexuality. However, to thumb through I ask Brian how long it’s been, which is, of course, what’s written is to tear through page after page a rather uncomfortable question between us. describing the different types of asexuality and It’s been “since (Bohemian Girl),” he says, neito note that, just as we’ve found it necessary to ther proud nor embarrassed. I’m stunned. That uber-categorize our own brands of gaiety (twink, was more than 12 years ago. “It’s not chastity. I’m bear, lipstick, tomboy), asexuals have categories not avoiding it out of choice, (but by) my nature.” as well. In other words, they’re just like lesbian, I tell Brian how even some professionals gay, transgender or bisexual people — with all promote some stereotypes about asexuality — the orientation hair-splitting and name-assign- theorizing that the lack of sexual desire stems ing, but without the extra confusion behind the from repression after a traumatic experience — bow-chicka-wow-wow. and ask Brian what he thinks of that.

He shot a question back: “Do you find it offenFor examples, there are noted asexuals who will still have sex — but strictly for the advan- sive when people think you’re gay because you tages sex can bring to their life. I’ve read the were messed with as a child?” term “opportunistic asexuals” to describe them.

“It’s rude, yeah.”

“Exactly. People assume the strangest things.”

There are asexuals who sleep with people simply I agree with him wholeheartedly — and just for physical gratification owing nothing to sexual desire for that individual, deemed “sex-favorable before I launch into my tirade about assumptions asexuals.” There are also the asexual elitists — people make about lesbians, Brian reminds me: “I’ve got a friend who’s known me for years, purists, to be frank — who believe that even masturbation and kissing sever the ties between the who assumed I was sexual and asked me a ton of questions about it, having trouble wrapping her sex-favorable “offender” and the “true asexual.”

All told, asexuality appears to espouse a brain around the fact that I’m not into sex and I general “meh, whatever” attitude toward the hadn’t been the whole time.”

Touché, Brian. traditions of sexual intertwining as you and I

DEAR SHANNA,

By Berlin Sylvestre

“

”

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Shanna Katz

IS IT “CHEATING” IF IT’S NOT IN-PERSON? I’M TALKING ABOUT CYBERSEX, WEBCAMMING, SEXTING AND ALL THAT JAZZ. IF SOMEONE IS NOT ACTUALLY TOUCHING SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY, BUT IS BEING SEXUAL IN SOME WAY THAT I’VE MENTIONED, DOES THAT MAKE IT CHEATING OR NOT? DYING FOR DELIBERATE DEFINITIONS IN THORNTON

Dear Dying for Deliberate Definitions; You might not like this answer because it isn’t as precise as what it seems you might be looking for, but honestly? It depends.

You’re probably wondering how “cheating” can depend. It’s because it depends on the relationship and what agreements were made. For some people in relationships, even looking at other people in a sexual manner might be cheating. For others, anything’s a green light as long as their partner gives a heads-up about what they’re doing and what type of protection they’ll be using. Regardless of whether your relationship is consensually nonmonogamous or completely monogamous, cheating depends on the deal you and your partner(s) have made.

Some might decide cheating has to involve a physical component, and if that’s your case it sounds like cyber-sex, sexting, webcamming and so on are kosher.

However, if you’re assuming those things are acceptable simply because nobody ever brought them up, it sounds like you might just be looking for a loophole. The best thing to do is ask your partner.

Like things in sexuality, the more you communicate, the better it (sex, relationships, hook ups, etc.) will be. Miscommunication is not sexy and hurts more than it helps.

So for the sake of your own clarity, take a moment and ask your current partner, future partner, or one-night-stand what “cheating” means to them.

Best of luck!

Shanna Shanna Katz, M.Ed, ACS is a board-certified sexologist, sexuality educator and author who believes in open source, accessible sexuality education. r See more columns at ofcnow.co/sexpert or for more info on teaching adults to optimize their sex lives visit ShannaKatz.com. Send Shanna a question for her column at ShannaKatz@gmail.com.

HEINZESIGHT

Finding your niche IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOUR ‘SCENE,’ KEEP LOOKING AS FAR AS HUMAN EVOLUTION HAS PROGRESSED, there are still many ways we continue to act in tribal ways by finding acceptance in sub-communities that support and intrigue us. Throughout our lives we may search for a group or community of those who are like-minded — sharing common hobbies, taste in music or clothing, sexual ethics or a variety of other activities or beliefs. These may be called subcultures, cliques, communities, clubs, circles or many other things.

Feeling included can improve our quality of life, introduce us to great people, and help to get us out of our homes to do something enjoyable and feel fulfilled — like our lives are making a difference in a community. Unfortunately many of us have felt socially ostracized throughout our lives and never felt like we fit in with an “in crowd.” For others, we tried to create a public image of belonging somewhere we didn’t really feel connected to internally. When we come of age we

sometimes continue to search for a sense of fitting in.

There are endless opportunities, but only a limited amount of time and energy we can invest. The first step is to figure out what interests us and how we feel these groups could benefit us. After we figure out where we want to go, there may be a variety of ways to gain membership these communities. Sometimes it is more comfortable for us to be friends with someone who is already a part of the group before we show up for an event, but you can also choose to reach out to the current leadership or simply jump in by showing up.

Regardless of the past, we can gain a variety of things by finding, or creating, our own niche.

For some people, acceptance in these subcultures is like a secondary, or even primary, family. It can help us feel celebrated for who we are or what we do. Unfortunately, the acceptance in some communities may come at a price. Group

a particular purpose, but members could dictate it isn’t always positive. what is acceptable, can These groups can also base belonging on ways maintain a particular set of dressing, specific of interests, values, and beliefs, or required acgoals, and many times tivities. Members may have their own “turf” not feel that they can where, when interlopchange the rules passed ers enter, they can be down from “group elmade to feel threatened, ders” who dictate how scorned, out of place or subjects in their kingBrent Heinze scared to be there. dom need to act or apRegardless if you focus on benpear. A potential member may not be wealthy or successful enough, eficial or concerning aspects of jointoo chubby, socially awkward, or ing a group, it is important to be inexperienced in the community. aware of your motives to come into Rejection can be direct or be more the fold and the extent that you will subtle. For those who do not have go to become a member. Hopefully the confidence to be their own per- you will find true friendships and son or really want to join this group, enjoyment within it, and if you they may be subject to feeling pres- don’t, have the courage to decide to sured to change themselves on the move on. surface to feel accepted.

Sometimes it seems like our Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed sub-cultures or cliques can also re- professional counselor. r Get more semble street gangs — the word is HeinzeSight online at ofcnow.co/brent technically nothing more than a or send him a question for his column group of similar people formed for at PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

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