November 18, 2015 :: Let's Talk Shop

N O V E M B E R 1 8, 20 1 5 | O U T F R O N T O N L I N E.CO M | F R E E

What to get and where to get it

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 3

CONTENTS NOVEMBER 18, 2015 VOL39 NO16

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10 OH, YEAH. SHE’S FLIRTING. 12 CONSTERNATION IN A CONSTELLATION 18 BLACK FRIDAY WITHOUT GOING INTO THE RED

18

BABY, IT’S COLD OUTSIDE: YOUR 2015 SPIRITS GUIDE

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08

26 SECURE YOUR SHOPPING EXPERIENCE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

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LET’S TALK SHOP 32 SOUTH BROADWAY SPLURGING 38 CALENDAR 42 FOR WORLD AIDS DAY, REMEMBER THAT VIGILANCE IS A GIFT 52 DUELING WITH DEPRESSION, PART DEUX 58 BACKWORDS

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SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 3535 Walnut Street, Denver, Colorado 80205 PHONE 303-477-4000 • FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontOnline.com • FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO • INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com BERLIN SYLVESTRE Editor RYAN HOWE Digital Content Manager BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist CAITLIN GALIZ-ROWE Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chris Arneson, Paul Bindel, Elle Browning, O’Brian Gunn, Isa Jones, Kelsey Lindsey, Rev. Jim Mitulski, Mikey Rox, Eva Woods, Mike Yost ART art@outfrontonline.com TRISHA HIMMLER Art Director CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS & PHOTOGRAPHERS Paul Brokering, Charles Broshous MARKETING & SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com DUSTIN KRIER Director of Sales & Marketing JORDAN JACOBS Senior Marketing Executive TOPHER LA FLEUR Marketing Executive CURTIS STAFFORD Marketing Executive NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | sales@rivendellmedia.com DISTRIBUTION Out Front’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front, take more than one copy of Out Front. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

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Out Front is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: NEPA, Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and Denver Drama Critics Circle.

O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 5

Ryan Howe

IN CASE YOU

MISSED IT JUST A TIDBIT FROM OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

GAY PORN STAR SENTENCED TO 6 YEARS IN PRISON FOR EXTORTION ATTEMPT Teofil Brank, aka Jarec Wentworth of Sean Cody fame, was sentenced Tuesday to 70 months in prison for his extortion plot against Florida business tycoon Donald Burns. In addition, Brank will have to pay Burns $500,000 in restitution.

Teofil, who is a Sean Cody porn actor, received about $1500 to $2000 for sex on four separate occasions from Donald. Burns also retained Brank’s services to set up various sexual rendezvous with other adult film stars and escorts. This continued until earlier this year, when

Donald terminated their relationship after Teofil kept the money from a hookup that never happened. This didn’t sit well with Teofil, who turned to blackmail and threatened to expose Burns and his penchant for prostitution. Brank extorted $500,000 and an Audi sportscar from Burns, threatening to “bring [his] house down.” Still not satisfied, Brank attempted to get another million dollars and a condo from Burns, who then turned to the FBI. Now, Teofil will be spending his twenties in prison.

‘PAWN STARS’ STAR LOSES ENDORSEMENTS AFTER SUPPORTING MARCO RUBIO & SLAMMING TRANS WOMEN Rick Harrison, star of the hit show Pawn Stars on the History Channel, has already lost product endorsements after he publicly announced his support for Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio. He’s also worried that his conservative views will cost him his show. Harrison told CNN he believes his endorsement last month will enrage the “massive liberal PC police,” then cited transgender bathroom accommodations as an example of what he fears.

“It does worry me to a degree. You get these massive liberal PC police, they don’t see the law of unintended consequences.

You have some cities that are saying if you have a man who feels like he’s a woman, he can use the women’s restroom. I guarantee you that will be taken advantage of by some very bad men who want to go into a bathroom where there’s young 6 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

AUSTRIAN WOMAN SHREDS MONEY & SHADES FAMILY An Austrian woman just pulled a stunt that left her family gagging. The unnamed 85-year-old woman decided to destroy the equivalent of $1.1 million, just so her family wouldn’t be able to cash in on her hard earnings.

The woman, who knew her time was coming to an end and that her family would inevitably inherit every last cent of her life savings, spent her last days on earth ruining her savings account books and shredding 950,000 euros, which is the equivalent of $1.1 million. We don’t know much about this woman, except for the fact that she is now at the top of the “Shadiest People on Earth” list.

But even after shredding the cash, she didn’t stop there. In a final act of shadiness, she put the shredded cash in her bed.

It’s not confirmed how long the money was in her bed, but we can assume, or pretend, that this woman slept on her bed covered in mutilated money. This woman was a queen. A revolutionary. A boss bitch.

ladies. That will happen if you pass a law like that. It’s not a perfect world. You’ll never make it a perfect world.”

Rick falls into the unfortunately large line of people who claim that allowing transgender people to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity and presentation will lead to an epidemic of straight men crossdressing to rape women and prey on children. But, not a single crime like this has been reported since LGBT nondiscrimination protections have been law.

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 7

N EWS

HOLIDAY BANNERS ON COLFAX FEATURES LOCAL LEGENDS “THERE ARE MY GIRLS!” exclaims an effervescent fellow from behind the gleaming steel countertop of his Colfax café. It’s nearing lunchtime on a Friday, and regulars from neighboring East High School are settling down by a table near the main window.

illustrating why thousands of people call Colfax home.”

That fellow is Max Hopewell-Arizmendi, owner of Café Max, which has been nestled on the eastern side of Colfax near Josephine Street for almost three years now. His zest for revitalizing his stretch of the longest, wickedest street in America has landed him a spot among festive banners hanging alongside Colfax for the holiday season.

Within minutes of meeting Max, it’s clear why the vibrant café owner was handpicked.

The holiday banners were crafted by the Colfax Business Improvement District (CBID) to reflect the character of the people who live, work, and play along Colorado’s most famous street. According to the CBID’s Public Information Coordinator, Sara Randall, those who were chosen for the posters are “resilient, self-made, and embody the spirit of the season, 8 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

The banners also feature a longtime community resource officer; a neighborhood activist and his Boston Terrier; and a well-known Elvis/Johnny Cash impersonator who operates ColfaxAvenue.com.

Max, alongside his partner of 19 years, Yuki, left New Mexico for Denver seven years ago, having lived in New York prior.

Yuki, who was born and raised in Japan, is a co-owner of Café Max, but he works at another local restaurant.

“We thought it would be better that way,” Max explains. “He has his life, and I have this.”

Max says he always wanted to own a business, and a career in food was natural for him. Before his café opened, Max worked at downtown staples like the Brown Palace and Corner Office.

PHOTO BY PAUL BROKERING

Chris Arneson

When Max chose a Colfax location for his café, bankers tried to dissuade him, suggesting more affluent neighborhoods like Cherry Creek or the Highlands. He didn’t understand why all the prosperous neighborhoods directly off Colfax weren’t fighting for their street.

Now he walks to work from his condo in Cheesman Park.

Max and Yuki are frequent travelers, and they have always been enamored by cafés in foreign countries where they could sit down with coffee and conversation. Their first café visit in Denver was to St. Mark’s, which they stumbled upon on a summer night.

“There were people there, and they were talking, and it was really pretty,” Max recalls. “But in the past seven years, that’s changed dramatically.”

The computer culture has somewhat taken over coffee shops within the last decade, essentially pushing chatterboxes to other sites. Max hopes his café can welcome back a social atmosphere. After 5pm, those using computers are invited to an eclectic downstairs work area, which he calls “the rabbit hole.”

The basement area, featuring a diverse collection of vintage memorabilia, has been host to comedy, music, and fashion events as well as providing a meeting space. There’s no rental fee, either. Max just asks that guests purchase a drink.

“We’re working hard to be part of this movement where you put your laptop away, come with a friend, and really understand what the café is for,” Max describes. “It doesn’t have to be a work place. The café is really to get away from work. It’s perfect for a first date.”

His concept includes more than a café’s typical offerings.

Earlier this year, Café Max acquired a liquor license, so he’s able to offer wine and whiskey. They also offer a selection of food.

At their spot, you can grab a simple soup, sandwich, or charcuterie board for an approachable price. Their idea of featuring food is based on concepts Max and Yuki picked up during their travels to Paris, Spain, Germany, and Japan.

“There’s a similarity amongst all of them,” Max notes. “There’s good food, there’s wine, there’s liquor. They do not separate [liquor and caffeine] like they do in America.”

Max uses the term “tea dance” to describe the post-brunch happy hour that occurs when you’re just not done yet. He hopes Café Max can be a comfortable establishment that caters to this pastime among both gay and straight communities.

When Max chose a Colfax location for his café, bankers tried to dissuade him, suggesting more affluent neighborhoods like Cherry Creek or the Highlands. He didn’t understand why all the prosperous neighborhoods directly off Colfax weren’t fighting for their street.

“We didn’t come with the past issues of Colfax,” Max elaborates.

“We didn’t know what the hell Colfax was.”

But after a lot of research, Max finally understands what makes Colfax such a gem. He isn’t afraid of developers; he just hopes they’re able to capture the essence of the thoroughfare he’s come to adore.

“I’m honored to be on a path of people that have a vision to really make Colfax a street where it’s walkable, kooky, fun,” Max remarks. “It’s like the street that bring us all together again.”

O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 9

is leaning in with her shoulders. Sexy, right? (It’s calculated.) From the way she keeps her posture in check to making sure her voice is tinged with just the right amount of sexy, she’s making sure that everything she gives you is in top form. She’s a one-woman show putting on a performance in the hopes that you’ll pick up what she’s putting down.

OPINION

SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOUR INTERESTS ARE. Asking you about what you like to do outside of work (or the bar) and actually listening to your response gives her more opportunity to match your likes with hers. If she drops hints that she’d like to join you, well … consider it a casual date, mi amigo.

OH, YEAH. SHE’S FLIRTING. Eva Woods “HOW DO I KNOW IF A WOMAN IS FLIRTING WITH ME?” is a question we’ve gotten from so many women (in the LGBT community and beyond!) who are picking up some “otherness” from another lady. As funny as it is for one woman not to recognize when she’s being pursued by one of her kind, it’s a fair question.

That’s because women can be masters of subtlety, no matter what gender they’re after. Let’s cut to the chase and reveal the top 10 signs that it’s on and poppin’ if you’re game. (And remember: Don’t just lock onto one of these and assume you’re good; it takes a good combination to be certain she’s feeling a little more than friendly.)

SHE INITIATES CONTACT. If she sees you come into the office (or enter the room at a party) and finds a reason to chat you up, she might just be a nice person saying hey, perhaps … but then again, perhaps not. Either way, if she wants some one-on-one face time, you’ve already got a head start in the “She Likes SOMETHING About You” department. If she displays some of these other signs, chances are you’re being scoped.

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SHE LAUGHS … A LOT. Don’t get us wrong — you’re probably funny, ok? It’s just that she tends to listen to your stories and commentary with baited breath, waiting for her next chance to crack up at your personal brand of wit. That’s basically because her aura is mingling with yours and it’s (more or less) getting her high. Just friendly? Your call.

SHE STANDS REALLY CLOSE TO YOU. Think about your body language toward people you don’t really dig that much — you’re not quick to smile, you don’t go out of your way to extend the conversation, and (whether you realize it or not) you tend to turn your body away, as though to suggest you gotta bail. So when she moves into your bubble … and then a bit further, she’s displaying just the opposite of “gotta jet,” because that’s the last thing she wants in that moment. And admit: There’s a delicious tension there and you bet your ass she knows it.

SHE POSES. Look at the way she positions herself while you’re speaking. She’s almost looking at you through her lashes and

SHE MAKES FUN OF YOU (IN THE PLAYFUL WAY).

Few things show comfort with another person like being able to razz on their bed-head or nervous little stutters — it says, “I wanna be cool like that with you.” She’s giving you the real-life version of a Facebook poke and reels like a giddy schoolgirl at your reactions.

SHE HOLDS YOUR GAZE. When she makes eye contact (which she always does), it’s laser-like. When you turn away, her gaze is still virtually burning a hole through you, and when you stare back, it gets intense. Yyyyyeah, that’s your cue.

SHE MAKES EXCUSES TO TOUCH YOU. I don’t think we need to go too far into this one, but if she’s reaching out to touch your arm or fix the collar on your jacket, get serious: She’s testing how down you are to connect on a physical level.

HER JOKES ARE INCREASINGLY DIRTIER. Ok, if you can’t see the light by now, fool. Seriously. If she’s droppin’ sexual innuendos into the conversation, she’s checkin’ out your freak-level and seeing how you might feel about some *nudge nudge.*

SHE STARES AT YOUR MOUTH INTENTLY AS YOU SPEAK. That’s it. Just friggin’ kiss her already.

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CONSTERNATION IN A CONSTELLATION MYTHOLOGY IN THE COLORADO NIGHT SKY Elle Browning THE SUN GETS ALL THE ATTENTION IN COLORADO, but now that the intense heat of summer has passed, check out our night sky’s autumnal offerings. One of our favorite constellations involves a sweet little tale of (attempted) human sacrifice, a sea monster, and vengeful nymphs with damaged egos. Turn your head skyward and behold the story of Andromeda.

Coordinates: 00h 42.44m 30s, +41° 16′ 10″ Andromeda was a princess in Greek mythology who was forced to wear some ugly metal bracelets and was almost sacrificed because of her mom’s big mouth. (Who hasn’t been there, right?)

Her parents were King Cepheus and Queen Cassiopeia of Ethiopia. Cassiopeia liked to brag about her daughter’s looks, which wasn’t a big deal until she made the mistake of claiming Andromeda’s beauty surpassed that of the Nereids — 50 sea nymphs whose hotness was notorious and, apparently, not to be outdone. The Nereids complained to the sea god Poseidon, and all watery hell broke loose for Andromeda. Poseidon sent Cetus the sea monster to destroy all of Ethiopia. To stop Cetus and pacify Poseidon, Cepheus and Cassiopeia tried to sacrifice

There’s a shady story right above our heads in the coordinates of Andromeda.

Andromeda by chaining her to a rock near the ocean and waiting for the monster to eat her. The hero Perseus, a busy guy who had just killed the serpent-haired Gorgon Medusa, rescued Andromeda and married her. (Wonder if her folks were invited to the wedding. Omg, awkward!)

Andromeda’s constellation — also known as Persea (wife of Perseus), Aerope (daughter of Cepheus), or the Chained Maiden — is most easily visible in the fall. She shares the sky with other characters from the myth of Perseus, including her parents, Perseus himself, and Perseus’ winged horse Pegasus.

Cetus, one of the largest constellations, is further south than the others, so it’s not fully visible from our latitude. If you have some binoculars handy, look at the Andromeda constellation a little closer and you’ll be able to view the closest galaxy to our Milky Way, which is also named after the Chained Maiden.

These constellations don’t really look like the characters they represent, so it takes a little imagination to perceive them as line drawings of people (and a flying horse), but if you’re only up for some what-you-see-is-what-you-get stargazing, the Big Dipper and Little Dipper are visible in the fall, too.

WIN E AND DINE DJ’s 9th Avenue Cafe DJ’S 9TH AVENUE CAFE 865 Lincoln St. Denver • 303.386.3375 DjsCafe.biz 12 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

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LEGAL DIRECTORY

SAME-SEX COUPLE TAKES THE CAKE On August 13, the Colorado Court of Appeals announced its long-awaited decision in Craig v.

Masterpiece Cakeshop, ruling that a Colorado bakery could not cite religious beliefs as the reason to refuse to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple. Back in 2012, Charlie Craig and David Mullens were planning their marriage in Massachusetts, and a celebration with family and friends in Colorado.

They asked Jack Phillips, owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, to bake them a wedding case.

However, their seemingly simple request was rejected by Mr. Phillips, who refused to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple due to his religious convictions. Mr. Craig and Mr. Mullens filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Divisions, and an Administrative Judge for the commissions agreed with them that Masterpiece Cakeshop had improperly discriminated against them. Masterpiece then took the case to the Colorado Court of Appeals.

In ruling in favor of Mr. Craig and Mr. Mullens, the Colorado Court of Appeals relied on the seminal US Supreme Court case of Obergefell v. Hodges, which granted same-sex couples the right just a few months earlier. Quoting the

Obergefell case, the Colorado Court of Appeals held that “The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy and spirituality. This is true for all persons, whatever their sexual orientation.” It therefore appears that the Obergefell decision created a clear path for the Colorado Court of Appeals to prohibit the discrimination of a same-sex couple.

The Colorado Court of Appeals further shot down Mr. Phillips’ argument that his rights to exercise free speech and religion allowed him to discriminate against a same-sex couple. The Court determined that “the act of designing and selling a wedding cake to all customers free of discrimination does not convey a message about same sex weddings likely to be understood by those that view it.”

The summer of 2015 will long be remembered for the landmark legal victories that same-sex couples achieved, both nationally and here in Colorado.

Bloch & Chapleau is a full service law firm that represents clients in domestic, criminal, personal injury, and civil matters. One of the first firms in Denver to represent same-sex couples in marriage and civil union matters, including divorce and pre-nuptial agreements, call Bloch & Chapleau today to schedule a consultation.

BLOCH & CHAPLEAU, LLC

303-331-1700 • BlochChapleau.com 1725 Gaylord St., Denver Family Law • Civil Union Dissolutions Pre-Union Agreements • Auto Accidents

LAW OFFICE OF LISA E. FRAZER, LLC

303-861-7717 • FrazerFamilyLaw.com 936 E. 18th Ave, Denver Family Law/Civil Unions • Divorce Child Custody

LAW OFFICE OF BYRON K. HAMMOND, LLC

303-501-1812 • BKH-Law.com 3900 E. Mexico Ave., Denver Wills • Trusts • Estate Planning Probate • Elder Law

TITUS PETERSON, AAL

303-260-6412 600 17th St, Suite 2800 South, Denver Personal Injury • Divorce • Criminal Law Marijuana Business Compliance

WOODY LAW FIRM, LLC

303-968-1711 • WoodyLawLLC.com 1407 Larmier St., Suite 300, Denver Dissolution of Civil Unions/Marriage Legal Separation • 2nd Parent Adoption

The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

outfrontonline.com/legal-directory | To advertise here, please call 303-477-4000.

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IT’S ALMOST WORLD AIDS DAY. LET’S HAVE A (RED) BALL Berlin Sylvestre WORLD AIDS DAY IS DECEMBER 1. Let’s continue the trend of education with some facts and stats via the World Health Organization. Then, let’s make sure we mark our calendar for EXDO’s stylistic marvel, Red Ball, an event designed to raise awareness for World AIDS Day. HIV (the virus that causes AIDS) stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV attacks the body’s immune system, which means fighting off sickness and diseases is either a terrible struggle or — if unchecked — a no-go.

HIV CAN BE TRANSMITTED THROUGH: • Unprotected sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal) or oral sex with an infected person.

• Transfusions of contaminated blood.

• The sharing of contaminated needles, syringes, or other sharp instruments.

• The transmission between a mother and her baby during pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding.

HOW QUICKLY DOES A PERSON INFECTED WITH HIV DEVELOP AIDS? The length of time can vary widely. Untreated, the majority of people with HIV will develop signs of HIV-related illnesses within 5–10 years, although this can be shorter. The time between acquiring HIV and an AIDS diagnosis is usually 10–15 years, but sometimes longer. Antiretroviral therapy (ART) can slow the disease’s progression by preventing the virus’ replication and therefore decreasing the amount of virus in an infected person’s blood (known as the ‘viral load’).

HOW CAN I LIMIT MY RISK OF HIV TRANSMISSION THROUGH SEX? • Use male or female condoms correctly each time you have sex.

• Practice only non-penetrative sex.

• Remain faithful in a relationship with an uninfected, equally faithful partner with no other risk behavior.

• Abstain from sex.

For deets on this year’s Red Ball, check out RedBallDenver.org.

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BRUCE

JAX

ALL LOVE, NO FEES

NOVEMBER IS ADOPT-A-SENIOR-PET MONTH and the Dumb Friends League wants to remind everyone looking to add a new pet to their life that love knows no age. To help its more mature adoptable pets find happy homes, the Dumb Friends League is waiving the adoption fee for dogs 5 years and older, as well as all cats 1 year and older, through the entire month of November.

All cat and dog adoptions include spay/neuter surgery, vaccinations, microchip identification implant, and a free office visit with a participating veterinarian. The standard adoption screening process still applies during all waived-fee promotions.

There are many benefits to adopting a more mature companion — because while their faces may be a little gray, their hearts are pure gold.

TOBY REWARDING. Whether you have them for five years or 10, we can’t think of anything more rewarding than making the last years of a pet’s life the best that they can be.

SENIOR SNUGGLES ARE THE BEST. Senior pets don’t require as much daily activity and are perfectly happy snuggled up with you on the couch during those lazy Sundays.

WITH AGE COMES WISDOM. Your senior pet is more likely to come

IT’S NOT A FULL-TIME JOB. Adult pets are beyond the kitten and puppy phase that often requires an extensive commitment of time and energy. This is definitely a bonus for families with young kids and busy professionals.

JULIUS housetrained, and may also already know basic commands and manners.

LESS TRANSITION TIME. Mature pets will settle in quickly and make themselves right at home.

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET. Older cats and

ZIGGY GREAT FOR ROOKIES. Adopting a senior pet is a great option for first-time pet owners. They are ready-made companions and are every bit as loving and loyal as a younger pet.

dogs are open books — their personalities are already developed, so you’ll know if he or she is the right fit for you.

SHORTER COMMITMENT. Adopting a senior pet is not a less serious commitment, but it can be a shorter one.

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS. Think you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Think again. Older pets CAN learn new things and are great at focusing on you (and on the task at hand) because they’re calmer than youngsters.

RUDY If you’re not sure where you’ll be in 10 years, or if you too are approaching your golden years, consider adopting a senior pet.

You’ll be providing a loving home for a displaced pet to live out its later years.

THEY’RE ADORABLE! Who can disagree?

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BLING STING LIP PLUMPER Dentists’ offices are increasingly becoming houses of beauty, and our last stop at Dr. Frye’s Smile High office proved a fruitful one.

We procured some Bling Sting, a small (but powerful) tube of peppery lip-gloss that gives users the “Angelina pout” without invasive surgery or injections. Does it work?

Yes. Our lips were fat and blood red. Does it sting? Totes, but you get used to it. And c’mon: beauty hurts. $15

THUMBS UP CAMERA LENS COFFEE CUP Your shutterbug buddies are notoriously tough to buy for, right? You can’t afford the expensive stuff they pretty much own anyway, and no one uses cutesy photo albums anymore. This is where the coffee mug comes in. Snap that. $13

Enjoy Black Friday WITHOUT GOING INTO THE RED O’Brian Gunn WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS PLANNING TRIPS TO CHECK OUT the foliage, enjoying the inevitable return of pumpkin spice, and deciding when to break out the holiday decorations without incurring the wrath of their neighbors, you’re planning your financial conquest for Black Friday 2015. One word of advice: make sure your financial kingdom doesn’t fall to ruin while you’re preparing your Black Friday armada. Saving 50 percent on a new laptop won’t do you much good if you have to turn around and sell it for only 25 percent of its full value to pay your bills.

DON’T OVERSTEP YOUR BOUNDS Before you check out the early Black Friday sales, check out your bank account. Not only should you have a budget for how much you spend on holiday shopping, you should also figure out how much you can spend on decorations, entertaining, food, and traveling for the season. Figure out which categories are the most important and which will require the most spending.

This strategy helps ensure you start off 2016 in good financial standing rather than curled up in the financial fetal position.

BARBUZZO SPIN-THE-SHOT

KNOW WHERE YOU’RE GOING AND HOW TO GET THERE Black Friday isn’t for skipping your way through the store with a pocketful of posies. If you aren’t prepared and leave your A game at home, you’ll likely find yourself cast to the sidelines like last week’s social media trend. Just like with grocery shopping, making a list and getting only what’s on it is one of the best things you can do on Black Friday. Write down the specific items you’re looking for before you even look at what stores are offering and resist the urge to buy something because you think you need it.

Spin the Bottle? Pff. N00b. Instead, get your buddies buzzy with a Spin the Shot game. You can pull this puppy out during the office holiday party all innocent like, “Ooh, what’s this?” and get your boss lit before cornering her about that raise. $10

CHECK YO’SELF ONLINE BEFORE YOU WRECK YO’SELF OFFLINE Avoid the crowds and the craze by checking for deals online. While Cyber Monday occurs after Black Friday, you still might be able to find a better deal with an online retailer. Just make sure you factor in shipping costs and check the retailer’s reputation before you buy anything. What’s the use of saving money on a coffeemaker if it means dealing with a company that puts their brains in a grinder right along with the coffee?

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LOOK BEFORE YOU SWIPE As you’re planning your route of conquest and deciding which stores to hit up first, think about where other shoppers will be. Best Buy is well-known for carrying all manner of electronic products, but Target might offer price matching. Instead of trying to be one of the first people to swarm Best Buy and risk taking an elbow to that dignified nose of yours, head on over to Target where the waters might be calmer and the discounts just as good.

Something to bear in mind with this tip is that some stores only match prices at the time of their own sales.

If Best Buy’s discounts are only good from 8am to 10am, you may not be able to take advantage of their prices if you go to Target at noon. Also, some stores honor Amazon’s sales, so be sure to print out any product discounts you spot online as well.

Approach Black Friday from every conceivable angle to successfully nab your well-priced prey. No matter what it is you’ve set your sights on, make sure you’ve got the proper financial ammo to keep from shooting blanks.

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Local Love THIS SEASON, KEEP THE MONEY LOCAL AND SHOW SOME LOVE TO A FEW OF DENVER’S FINEST.

TEROFORMA WHISKEY ROCKS Nine natural soapstone rocks placed in the freezer will give your drinks an added edge when you decide to lubricate your Netflix and Chill date. You can cool your drinks for longer periods of time without diluting them. Hot. $20

DOSE APPAREL HOODY Conscious streetwear is pushing people to discover their own personal strength and energy. This sleek, black-and-white hooded sweatshirt is exceptionally soft and form-fitting, perfect for our upcoming Colorado winter. Swing

by Blush & Blu on Colfax to grab a drink and check out the other Denvercreated products in their One Heart Collection.

They’re also open for biz at DoseApparel.com. $50

COOKING CLASSES FOR FOODIE FRIENDS For home chefs, select a gift card for a cooking class at Cook Street School of Culinary Arts. Located in LoDo, Cook Street offers a variety of recreational classes for everyone on your list — from culinary date nights, cake decorating, wine classes, French cooking, and bread baking to cooking with beer and whiskey. Available in any denomination, Cook Street’s gift cards allow your guests to select a culinary class of their choice. CookStreet.com GIVE THE GIFT OF THEATER The Lone Tree Arts Center has something for everyone on your holiday gift list from One Man Star Wars, Christine Ebersole in concert, Lightning Thief for kids, a National Geographic Live Speaker series with breathtaking photos, to a classic Cyrano production.

Available in any denomination, Lone Tree Arts Center’s gift cards allow your guests to select a show of their choice. LoneTreeArtsCenter.org UNIQUE POPCORN GIFT Pop into Whatever Pops Up for a pail or 3-gallon tin of gourmet popcorn that can be customized with company logos or gift messages. Choose from 20 unique flavors including salty caramel, cinnamon bun, buffalo and blue cheese, dill pickle, and more. Whatever Pops Up is located at 1423 Larimer Street in the Walkway.

WhateverPopsUp.com FOR THE COLORADO COUNTRY LOVER Swing by Hailee Grace and pick up a cozy poncho for the fashionable woman in your life. Ponchos are one size fits all so there’s no worries about getting the wrong size. Pick up a cute mountain-shaped necklace, or a Colorado Flag in gold, silver, or rose gold. HaileeGrace.com CUSTOM APPAREL Customized gifts are unique, special, and perfect for the

CLOSED FOR BUSINESS

hard-to-shop-for loved one on your list. Gusterman’s on Larimer Square can change that. Gusterman’s has been designing precious metal jewelry and gifts since 1965 and they can handcraft money clips, cufflinks, keychains, belt buckles, bracelets, and rings. Custom designed pieces take up to four weeks so stop in now.

Gustermans.com GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES Jewelry makes a great holiday gift and John Atencio, Colorado’s most renowned jewelry designer, has just launched new pieces for the holidays. The Fortuna line comes in sterling silver and 14K rose and yellow gold, and the Devotion line comes in both 14K yellow and white gold. A gift sure to dazzle! JohnAtencio.com

WITH THE EASY MONEY THAT CAN COME FROM MAKING YOUR EMPLOYEES SHOW UP TO WORK at 4am the day after Thanksgiving to prep the store for the absolute madness of Black Friday sales, it’s more than just a little nice to see stores valuing the time people might want with their families. We find that among the most commendable of gestures a business can do, so we’d like to show a round of applause for companies that will shutter their doors on Black Friday, in respect to their employees. They are (at the time of printing):

20 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

Crate and Barrel, TJ Maxx, Barnes and Noble, Bed Bath and Beyond, BJ’s, Costco, Dillards, Home Depot, Home Goods, Jo Ann Fabrics, Lowe’s, Marshall’s, Nordstrom, P.C. Richard & Son, Pier One, Publix, RadioShack, Staples, Sam’s Club, DSW shoes, Gamestop, Sur La Table, Neiman Marcus, Burlington Coat Factory

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 21

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

YOUR 2015 HOLIDAY

SPIRITS GUIDE

E V E R Y T H I N G YO U ’ L L N E E D TO WA R M U P F RO M T H E I N S I D E O U T A L L S E AS O N LO N G Mikey Rox

MAKE A TINSELED TOAST TO THE HOLIDAYS WITH THESE BOOZY BOOKS, MIXERS, RECIPES, ACCESSORIES, AND MORE.

Apothecary Cocktails:

RESTORATIVE DRINKS FROM YESTERDAY AND TODAY The doctor is in with this comprehensive recipe guide to 75 medicinally themed cocktails sourced from turn-of-the-century pharmacies and contemporary urban bars like Apotheke in New York and Apo Bar & Lounge in Philadelphia.

Written by ‘Cocktail Whisperer’ Warren Bobrow. $17.95 QuartoKnows.com

Ludlows Jelly Shots

When you don’t have time to handcraft batches of gelatinous shots (most of which will probably end up on the bottom of your fridge anyway), reach for these convenient prepared versions from Ludlows Cocktail Co., available in Fresh Lime Margarita, Meyer Lemon Drop, Old Fashioned, Planter’s Punch, and Moscow Mule.

LudlowsCocktails.com

Vena’s Infusion Kits

Create your own at-home artisan (and vegan) cocktails, like Cherry Mojito, Maple-Pear Old Fashioned, Harvest Margarita, Winter Dreams, and more. Add alcohol, let it steep for five days, and serve. $14.45 UndiscoveredKitchen.com 22 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

SHOTTASOCO AND EGG NOG 1 oz Southern Comfort 3 oz Egg Nog Combine chilled ingredients and pour into a glass. Dust with nutmeg.

BLUEBERRY GIN FIZZ 2 oz Apiary Gin | Pear soda | Fresh blueberries Muddle blueberries with gin in a cocktail shaker.

Add ice, shake vigorously, and strain into a glass over ice. Top with pear soda, stir, and garnish with more blueberries.

THE BARKING IRONS LOWER MANHATTAN 2 oz Barking Irons Applejack 1/2 oz sweet vermouth 2 dashes bitters

CAME FROM CHURCH 2 oz SIA Scotch Whiskey | 1/2 oz Cointreau 1/2 oz Simple Syrup | 1 oz Lemon Juice Sugar for garnish Fill cocktail shaker with ice. Add ingredients and stir.

Garnish rim of glass with sugar and strain cocktail into glass.

2013 Head High Red Blend

This versatile red blend from winemaker/surfer Sam Spencer pairs well with holiday meals (like your delicious roast beast!) to please diverse palates. For every two bottles sold, $1 is donated to the Sustainable Surf & Sonoma Valley Education Foundation. $30 HeadHighWines.com

R.S.V.P. Cocktail Skinnies

These zero calorie, zero sugar all-natural cocktail mixers come in three flavors – Baja Margarita, NY Cosmo, and Miami Breeze. Add 1 ounce of your favorite liquor and 6 ounces of water to get your guilt-free sip on. RSVPSkinnies.com

Mocktails Cocktail Mixers

Even teetotalers can get in the holiday spirit – without partaking in the spirits – with Mocktails’ non-alcoholic line of beverage mixers. Four classic flavors include margarita, whiskey sour, cosmopolitan, and sangria. $39.95 Store.Mocktails.com

PURITY WINTER SPARKLE 2 oz Purity Vodka | 3 oz champagne Handful of pomegranate seeds for garnish

20% off

All Aveda products

Add Purity Vodka and ice to a mixing glass and stir until ice cold. Strain into a chilled champagne flute and top with champagne. Garnish with pomegranate seeds.

SPICED APPLE BULLDOG 1.5 oz Bulldog Gin | 2 oz boiling water 1 oz apple cider | 1/2 oz maple syrup 1 bar spoon cinnamon sugar | 2 orange wedges Add all ingredients to a warm goblet, stir until sugar dissolves, squeeze orange wedges, and garnish with a cinnamon stick.

Creating customied beauty with a passion & commitment to service By Master Stylist Tim | Men and Women

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SEASONAL SMASH 2.5 oz Putnam Rye | 1/2 oz honey 1/2 lemon, wedged | Fruit of choice Sprig of fresh mint, thyme, or rosemary Muddle fruit and herbs in bottom of shaker tin. Add fresh pepper.

OUR WISH FOR YOU IS HEALTH, WEALTH AND BEAUTY

$30 Hair Cut $10 Brow Wax

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2655 S Broadway, Denver | (303) 722-1014 OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 23

ICE STICK ICE TRAY Next in the “Omg, Why Didn’t I Think of That?!” roundup comes the flexible ice stick tray.

They’re dishwasher-safe ice trays that make perfectly shaped ice for even the smallest of water-bottle spouts.

Because duh, right?! $9

Top 5 Shopping Apps Isa Jones IT’S 2015 AND SOMEHOW, SHOPPING THIS TIME OF THE YEAR IS STILL A GIANT PAIN. You have to spend too long on

parking garages hoping for a spot, fight the crowds in the malls and stores. Deal with the fact that the one thing you need is inevitably sold out. But, it is the age of smartphones, and thankfully, there are some apps to make shopping a little easier. Here are five to thank the retail gods for.

TOUCHSCREEN TEXTING GLOVES Finally! No more degloving in the chill Colorado air to respond “kk” to your BFF. These are made of a special conductive material on the thumb, index, and middle fingers and are fully machine washable. $20

TEMPERATURESENSITIVE FAUCET LIGHT Jazz up your bathroom with a color-changing display for the sink. When the water’s cold, it glows blue. As it warms, the hue goes green. When it’s warm, we’ve got red, and when it’s scalding, it flashes.

Good for the kids, nieces and nephews, also. $20

AMAZON PRICE CHECK Ever have the experience of seeing something you want at the store, looking at the price tag and immediately thinking “I can get this cheaper on Amazon?” Well, if you download the Amazon Price Check app, you can scan the barcode, or just take a picture of it and suddenly get all the information on the product Amazon has. That includes prices and reviews. So you can decide, on the spot, whether to click “buy” on Amazon or buy in the store.

SHOPSAVVY (SIMILAR TO AMAZON) Not only does ShopSavvy notify you of sales at your favorite stores, you can use the barcode scanner to make sure you’re getting the best deal. It’s an app dedicated to saving you money, and it’s a beautiful thing.

SMOOPA Smoopa is great if you want a specific item, but just aren’t willing to pay the current price. You can compare the price to other stores (and other store websites) and set price alerts to let you know when the price drops so you can snag it right when it goes on sale. Never feel the heartbreak of buying something and then seeing it on sale for much cheaper at the next store again.

SHOPKICK What if you got paid to shop? With Shopkick, you can earn rewards for dropping cash at your favorite stores.

OFFENSIVE BUSINESS CARDS

Why waste time using words when you can tell someone to get lost with a card? From “You Suck at Parking” to “I’m Not Interested,” you can slip them a hint without the hassle of speaking. A perfect gift for your shady friends who are just too busy to talk. $15

24 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

Hundreds of stores are partnered with Shopkick, and when you walk into one, just open the app and you’re eligible for reward points, which you can exchange for giftcards, aka free money. It’s that easy.

TOPHATTER Tophatter won’t just help you shop, it is the place to shop. It sells appearal, electronics and makeup (three amazing categories of items) through ninety second flash sales. Open the app, see what’s on sale that minute and score some great deals and endulge your guilty pleasure side with those sudden purchases.

FLIPP Remember the nineties when tons of flyers would come in the mail and you would spend your morning browsing through them seeing what was on sale that week? Well thankfully those are gone, but with Flipp app, you can easily browse your favorite stores to see what’ll be on sale, clip virtual coupons and save some green on your shopping.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 25

SECURE YOUR SHOPPING EXPERIENCE

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON O’Brian Gunn

BESIDES DECIDING HOW MUCH YOU HAVE TO SPEND ON SHOPPING THIS HOLIDAY season, you should also think about the best ways to protect those funds. Hackers are anticipating all of the financial information they can pilfer from unsuspecting shoppers just like shoppers are anticipating all of the deals they’ll be scoring. Fortify your cards and the bank or credit accounts they’re linked to and keep yourself from becoming another holiday statistic.

ONLINE SHOPPING TIPS

Before you sit down and do all of your online shopping, see if your bank or credit card company offers a 16-digit, one-time virtual credit card number.

What’s great about this option is that even if someone gets ahold of the number, they won’t be able to use it. Even better, there are some companies that let you decide when you can use the number and how much you can use it for, making it easier for you to get everything you need with a single purchase.

It’s also a good idea for you to check to see if there are updates available for any malware or virus protection software you’re using before you start shopping. When you are ready to make an online purchase, take a moment to make sure the website URL starts with “https” and that there’s a small lock icon in the address bar. This ensures the site is safe and properly protected.

While it’s tempting and easier to use the same password for all of your online accounts, doing so can be a liability. If someone gets ahold of your password, they’ll have access to each and every one of your accounts. At the very least you should change your email password before shopping online, that way you can easily reset all of your other accounts should they become compromised.

26 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

OFFLINE SHOPPING TIPS

See if your credit card provider offers a smart card before you head out to brick-and-mortar stores this year. What’s unique about these cards is that they have a special chip inside of them that protects your data. Even better, smart chips are difficult to copy, which isn’t always the case with traditional magnetic strip cards.

If you can help it, try not to use your debit card while you’re out shopping. Debit cards don’t have the same level of protection as credit cards, and what’s more is that a thief can completely drain your bank account in mere minutes, leaving you with nothing but zeros in your account until you can resolve the matter.

Even if your credit card provider doesn’t have a smart card, it might offer a one-time credit card you can use. While these cards are usually reserved for online use only, you may be able to use one at a brick-and-mortar store if the card can be accessed on a mobile app.

To use the card in the store, all you’ll need to do is type the number into the register.

There could also be a barcode that can be scanned. Just make sure you ask if the store is set up to accept this type of payment before you head out.

Leave no security tactic unturned this and every other holiday shopping season. You never know when a new hacking technique or cyber attack will crop up, and you don’t want to become one of the first victims.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 27

The Legend of Krampus BLING STING PEPPER SPRAY Now that it’s dark out (by 5:30pm), late-afternoon joggers are smart to be wary of what lurks in the shadows. Pocketable, and small enough to fit on your keychain without being bulky, this bejeweled pepper spray adds an element of safety to your day (or night) out. $20

QUIRKY CITRUS SPRITZER In the eternal struggle for calorie cutting (and cutting down on meal prep), we can find ourselves buying countless “just the right shape” tupperwares for bringing lunch to work. How about just leaving this thing on our desk and bringing a lemon in? Stab it with the serrated teeth of the spritzer and boom: salad dressing. Or mace.

Your call. $6

Berlin Sylvestre GOOD NEWS FOR GRADUATES OF THE SCHOOL OF NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT: Krampus the Christmas Demon is

in this season!

An old Bavarian folktale that actually predates Christmas itself, the Alpine Pagan legend is a ghastly, horned creature with black, matted hair and a devilishly long tongue who punishes the living crap outta children who’ve been bad all year — a polar holiday opposite to jolly old St. Nick who showers do-gooders with gifts beneath a shiny, happy tree.

13th-century Norse folklore has it that Krampus is the son of Hel, the goddess ruler of the underworld.

That curmudgeonly Krampus (whose name means “claw”) carries rods made of barbed birch and horsehair, and if he’s determined that you’ve been naughty all year, there’s no preparing that backside for your annual whoopin’ that aims to teach you the virtue of behaving. Or something. If that doesn’t learn ya, some 19th-century German postcards have shown The Goat-Man Himself ripping pigtails out, leading children off a cliff, putting pre-teens in shackles, drowning little ones to death in ink and fishing out their bodies with a pitchfork, and abducting children by dragging them away into the depths of hell never to be seen by “Mama und Papa” again. Maybe those chores don’t seem so bad after all. At any rate, he shows up on Dec. 5, Krampusnacht (Krampus Night), with bells on (literally) to announce his jangly, sinister presence. In much the way that adults tiptoe into the living room to put presents under the tree, the more sadistic, Bavarian variety dress up in clothing that’ll ring out when they sneak around the windows of children’s bedrooms to scare the living crap out of them on Krampusnacht.

The ritual has come in and out of vogue, but most notably when, four years before the Third Reich overran Germany and Austria, The New York Times

LED DIGITAL BRACELET WATCH

reported that the Austrian Fascist government had banned Krampus, claiming (among many other things) that he was socialist. After World War II, when the fascist regime had crumbled, Krampus was back in a big way. Here in America, we have Krampus Fests (NYC, Philly, and Los Angeles in particular) and Krampus (a new horror flick) hits theaters Dec. 4. Google the trailer; it looks legit.

In the meantime, be thankful (or bummed, why not?) that most of us grew up on Santa and his sweet candy canes rather than Krampus and his grisly sled of horrors.

Made by GGI International, this black, stainless steel piece with lava-red lettering is perhaps the sexiest thing you can adorn your wrist with for less than $20. The design is faceless and also comes in blue. $15

28 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 29

Berlin Sylvestre

You’re going to start looking at stores and boutiques in different ways come the next few weeks, and a lot of you (ok, us) are new to Denver. In case you don’t feel like riding around the entire city in search of the right spot to park and shop, we’ve created a little somethin’ to streamline the shopping experience.

Larimer Square

THE TONE: A good mix of local and national brands that are a bit higher end, but with character. The demographic is a bit more mature, let’s say, but that’s mostly because quality goods don’t come cheap.

THE STORES: Timbuk2, Blush, The Bent Lens, Lash, Fluevog, Moda Man, Scarpaletto, John Atencio, The Market, among others.

THE PARKING: Look for garages and valet. Other than that, it’s metered street parking all the way.

Northfield Stapleton

THE TONE: Pretty much the always-convenient polygamous marriage of commercial chains, but in a weird area that’s actually pretty industrial, if you zoom out and have a look.

Nevertheless, if your objects of holiday affection are the picky sort, you’ll be fine just pulling in here and loading up.

THE STORES: Target, Bass Pro Shops, Sephora, Claire’s, Hot Topic, Journeys, Yankee Candle, Famous Footwear, among others.

THE PARKING: Parking lots. (You know the drill on these kinds of places.)

30 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

Berkeley

THE TONE: The more sunny side of Highlands, the Berkeley district is mellow, “small-town,” hidden, and off-thebeaten path with that consignment and lifestyle feel.

THE STORES: Flesher-Hinton Music, Horseshoe Craft and Flea Market, Small Batch Liquors, Shakti Whole Health Studios, among others.

THE PARKING: Metered street parking, but it’s not too bad.

RiNo

THE TONE: RiNo (the River North Arts District) is tucked-away, oddball, eccentric, artsy, gritty. This is kind of district you’d go if you’re not in a real hurry and just wanna take in an afternoon of “oh, that looks cool” and “ooh, what’s in here?”

THE STORES: The Source, Oh Wheelie, Giuliana Direct Olive Oil, Chocolate Crisis Center, Yours Truly Cupcake, Wine & Whey, among others.

THE PARKING: There are actually some streetside spots that don’t have meters! (Yaay!)

Other than that, meters.

(Boo!)

Highlands

THE TONE: Shopping for someone kinda quirky?

This district has the best used bookstore in town, second-hand goods on the real, and plenty for the young-family demographic. (It’s also a great place to plan a wedding, now that we think about it.)

THE STORES: Mondo Vino, Happy Cakes Bakeshop, Wordshop Paperie, Little White Dress Bridal Shop, West Side Books, among others.

THE PARKING: Street parking, and it’s actually not too bad.

Cherry 16th South Pearl/ Sakura Creek North Street Mall Platte Park Square

THE TONE: The Rodeo Drive of Denver, and where to go if you’re down to drop some coin on you or the one you’re out to impress.

THE STORES: Hermes, Pura Vida, Fifth Avenue Designs, Hamilton Furs, Lululemon Athletica, Bose, Kate Spade New York, among others.

THE PARKING: Metered street parking. There are garages, but they’re scant. Pro-tip: Hapa Sushi has a few spots in a garage beneath the restaurant. (Enter via the back alley.)

THE TONE: The question is: What can’t you get at the 16th Street Mall? From attorney appointments to dim sum, you’re good to go.

THE TONE: South Pearl

THE STORES: I Heart

THE STORES: Murder

Denver, Banana Republic, Express, GAP, Patagonia, Molly’s of Denver, Goorin Bros., among others.

by the Bookstore, Greentree Cylcery, Denver Folklore Center, The Whole Cat & Dogs Too, among others.

THE PARKING: The

THE PARKING: Metered

metered street parking can be a nightmare in this pedestrian promenade, but with once you’re in, you’re fine. So … many … stores.

street parking.

has that quaint feel, and though it’s becoming more of a restaurant destination, it definitely has cute-boutique goodness.

THE TONE: Though unquestionably Japanese in inspiration, Sakura is still very “mom and pop shops” with a meditative garden. It’s Denver’s taste of the Orient, and just really mellow. The Asian grocers carry killer items for those culinary wizards you want to challenge.

THE PARKING: Ample metered street parking, unless there’s a game going on.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 31

The Gift of Experience:

Santa Fe Arts District Shopping Guide

CO U ON RTE SA SY NT OF A TH FE E FA AR CE T D BO IS OK TR PA ICT GE

Paul Bindel

PH

requiring thoughtful planning that often invokes creative responses from the recipient. If creative-types are on your holiday gift list, consider the Santa Fe Arts District. Here, artists, designers, herbalists, and trainers aren’t peddling the latest gadget, but they are inviting you to get involved in an experience, a story, or a creative process.

OT OS

Gift-giving is a creative act

Knotty Tie Company

Small Planet E-Bikes

855 Inca St. Dinosaurs, octopi, bicycles, and popsicles — the neckties, infinity scarves, and bowties at Knotty Tie are unlike any you’ve seen, making for a perfect gift. You can design your own for your friend, family, or company starting at $65, with scalable prices based on quantity. Or, pick up one of their Coloradical collaborations or new Art Deco series for just $40. Even cooler, once you purchase a Knotty Tie, you have full borrowing rights to their Tie-brary, which includes hundreds of original designs.

733 Santa Fe Dr Electric bikes have yet to catch on in the US, but Tom Wilson is here to change that. His small studio shop features lithium-battery powered bikes that amplify your pedaling at a range of speeds. Disc-brake bikes ($2000+) are a bit more affordable than hydraulic-brake bikes ($3500+), but both, he assures me, will keep you safe and take you wherever you dream of going. His most popular models are Swiss-made Stromer ST1 roadbike ($3500) and the US-made Pedego Interceptor ($2500), a retro beach cruiser.

32 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

“I Made It” 869 Santa Fe Dr. Owner Loretta Eggleton proudly flits from one corner of her makerspace to the next, pointing out members’ projects — a beer tote, a desk, a bench, a table, a wine rack. All of these projects are made of Black Forest burn scar wood ($21 per board-foot), with beetle-kill purples, blue, and various browns from the fire. For $35, your loved one receives a four-hour workshop which includes guidance and tools for whatever project they’re imagining.

Awaken Gymnastics Strength Training 777 Santa Fe Dr Named Denver’s best gym in 2015, Awaken welcomes athletes and newcomers alike to its rigorous, inspiring, gymnastics-based training. Its hip and shoulder “Pre-Hab” classes and Flexibility Series ensure your muscles and joints are prepared for more advanced courses like Gymnastics, Rings, and Movement. “You’re designing your body with new skills,” says gym manager Tanya Hill, “and we believe that transformation looks good on you.” Give a five-class Starter Pack ($45) or a yearly unlimited-class prepaid membership (regularly $1529, with holiday pricing of $1089).

Kanon Collective 766 Santa Fe Dr. “A Bibelot,” explains Kanon Collective gallery manager Elizabeth Licence, “is a small object of curiosity, rarity, or beauty.” Juried by local event promoter Dana Cain, Bibelot offers something for everyone, with more than 80 pieces ranging from $20 to $600. Dane ‘Colfax’ Stephenson’s twee miniature-figure photography ($125) features local scenes that should prove popular with Denverites, while Cameron Lewis’ visual-pun snowglobes ($188–285) — “Deep Thoughts,” for instance, shows miners excavating a pensive head — could give your brainy loved one a special Christmas morning.

Denver Integrative Massage School and Martin George Skin 1221 Galapago St. Martin George’s herbalism students eagerly rush me past the massage clinic, straight to the kitchen where he and his mother are putting the final touches on his new skincare lines: the calendula-based Espíritu and the jasmine-based Thai. Each come in bars ($4), milks ($22), and oils ($18) for a perfect stocking stuffer. You can also book a massage session (90 mins for $32) or a Dr. Hauschka facial (60 mins for $26), giving your loved ones a memorable experience while supporting budding herbalists, skincare professionals, and therapists.

This holiday season, Colorado Gives. Give the gift of transgender resources.

Donate today at ColoradoGives.org/PFLAG. Advocacy. Education. Support. Since 1972.

ColoradoGives.org/PFLAG

(303) 573-5861

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 33

South Broadway Splurging Paul Bindel

For my tour of South Broadway, I made like a flaneur from Antique Row up to the more familiar hipster haunts. Along the way, I was struck by the incredible ingenuity and variety in one of the most thriving small business districts in the city. Here are my top picks for Out Front readers, South to North:

Derbyville

1454 S Broadway For years, Denver has attracted women from around the world for its Roller Derby culture. We still have two professional teams, but the sport isn’t as popular as it used to be. That’s why Derbyville will be closing its doors at the end of November, so go out and show them some love before then or hit up their goodbye party on November 21. Socks ($12), leggings ($10), wheels ($50–100), and booty shorts ($26) are still plentiful if you want to upgrade your partner’s gear — or even your own.

34 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

Victor Guitar

1457 S Broadway Walking into Victor Guitar, you may encounter the smell of freshly shaved mahogany or be mesmerized by the lovely shades of rosewood, acacia, maple, and bubinga.

This store and workshop is committed to craft, selling consignment guitars ($500–8500) and small stringed instruments ($1500), as well as offering guitar-building classes that start at $3000.

FashioNation + Babysitter’s Nightmare

1594 S Broadway With a towering eight-foot wall of high-laced boots facing a string of rock-n-roll inspired clothing, FashioNation feels like all the best parts of the early 90s with a fresh face. Co-owner Paul Italiano is proud to be an image store for English-made Doc Martens ($100–200), as well as dealing in T.U.K. ($60–170) and Gripfast boots ($175–275).

In the back of the store, co-owner Pam Italiano also designs a line of hilariously offensive infant and children’s clothing (i.e. the neongreen tutu jumper that reads “Mommy Drinks Because I Cry”) that would be perfect for your friends’ and family’s children.

Corvus Coffee Roasters

1740 S Broadway A small-batch roaster committed to excellence, Corvus has some of the best-tasting coffees in town. They also offer many fine brewing tools, each of them labeled “And It’s Worth It” next to the price.

Brewers range from the V60 Dripper ($26) and Aeropress ($29) to the higher-end Cafe Solo ($79) and Madame Solo ($95). Corvus’ Coffee Membership Program runs $240 for six months and gets you two bags of coffee (~14 oz.) every two weeks. For a stocking stuffer, consider their dry-hopped cold brew coffee — a four-pack is just under $16.

Ironwood

14 S Broadway Part Victorian cabinet of curiosities, part gallery, part greenhouse, Ironwood feels like the characters of Clue began dabbling in metaphysics. Almost anything here will add beauty and mystery to a home. Start with Travis Hetman’s cosmic art ($60) or pieces from his current show Sink or Swim that explores themes of fear and failure ($50–150). Pick up several small crystals ($1–20) or go for a giant Amethyst ($170). You also have a wide range to choose from in terrarium glasses ($24-68), butterflies ($24–200), and succulents ($3–30).

HONORABLE MENTIONS Caboose Hobbies — 500 S Broadway $ The world’s — yes WORLD’s — largest model train store, featuring Thomas the Tank Engine, miniatures, and more.

This holiday season, Colorado Gives. Give the gift of bilingual resources.

Donate today at ColoradoGives.org/PFLAG. Advocacy. Education. Support. Since 1972.

Hazel & Dewey — 70 S Broadway $$ Unique kitchenware, cookbooks, and local delicacies like Jojo’s Sriracha.

Mutiny Cafe — 2 S. Broadway $ Used books, Records, Comics, Local Authors, an LGBT section, and Pop-Art.

Artemisia & Rue — 70 Broadway $$ Herbalism courses, tinctures, teas, aromatherapy, essential oils, and cocktail mixers.

ColoradoGives.org/PFLAG

(303) 573-5861

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 35

RIDGE MERINO

MIKEY ROX

ULTIMATE

Whether you’re bombing down a dusty slope or just binge-watching Netflix while you ‘chill,’ Ridge Merino has you (literally) covered with its line of moisture-wicking, UV-protecting, cold-weather undergarments that keep your body covered and comfortable despite the elements. FROM $25 ridgemerino.com

GUIDE TO

GIFT GIVING

2015

What do you get the one who has everything? Take your pick from these holiday gift ideas, perfect for LGBT foodies, techies, adventurers, and more.

LOOPY CASES

stocking stuffer

Save your phone from those dreaded drops and cracked screens with this case that features a patented loop to make one-handed use secure and stress-free. $29 loopycases.com

GLASSYBABY

Light up your holiday and pride parties with this rainbow-colored collection of hand-blown, Martha Stewart-endorsed candleholders, 10 percent of the proceeds from which are donated directly to organizations that provide financial and emotional assistance to those in need. $264 glassybaby.com

FITBIT CHARGE HR

In a sea of wearable fitness devices that make claims they don’t live up to, Fitbit stands out for its streamlined design and forwardthinking functionality. Its latest incarnation, Charge HR, multitasks as a heart-rate monitor, daily activity and exercise tracker, sleep monitor, and watch with caller ID. $150 fitbit.com

EROVER

Great Scott! It’s not the Hoverboard Zemeckis and Mattel promised us back in 1989, but EROVER isn’t a bad compromise. This handsfree, Segway-like, self-balancing scooter boasts speeds up to 9mph and a distance of 9–12 miles on a single charge. FROM $250 amazon.com

MAHABIS SLIPPERS

Available in classic and summer styles, Mahabis has reinvented the traditional slipper with detachable, customizable soles, collapsible heels, and an impossibly soft sheep-wool lining for a sleek, Instagram-ready footwear experience designed with your fashionable little piggies in mind. $89 mahabis.com 36 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

KENTUCKY BOURBON CANDLE stocking stuffer

Scent up your hotel room, office, man cave, or — because this is the place where its application is most appreciated — the bathroom like a southern whiskey distillery with this tin travel candle that features base notes of vetiver and cedar blended with bourbon, cognac, palmarosa, and rose. $12.50 ajmurrays.com

BB-8 DROID

Star Wars fever got the jump-off earlier this year when video of BB-8, Sphero’s app-enabled droid, starting rolling around on YouTube, and social media blew up with anticipation for the most adorable robot since Wall-E. Features include voice recognition, the ability to record and play back holographic videos, autonomous behavior, and an adaptive personality that’ll make you hope the Force is with you. $150 apple.com

RINGSAFE

stocking stuffer

ZIPPER EARBUDS

stocking stuffer

Save yourself the heart attack of losing your engagement or wedding ring by securely fastening it to a set of keys, necklace, or other hard-tomisplace accessory. $40 ringsafe.com

Why it’s taken so long to find a solution for the ball of wires that are your headphones every time you take them out is up for debate, but these never-tangle zipper earbuds are your saving grace. $25 cocalilyboutique.com

CONT ON PG 40

This holiday season, Colorado Gives. Give the gift of education.

Donate today at ColoradoGives.org/PFLAG. Advocacy. Education. Support. Since 1972.

ColoradoGives.org/PFLAG

(303) 573-5861

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 37

CALE NDA R

B ROUG HT TO YOU BY THE D E NV E R GAY & L ESB I AN C HAM B E R OF CO M M E RC E

NOV 21

U PCO MI N G

CHAMBER E V E N TS

NOV 20

19TH ANNUAL BUSINESS AWARDS GALA

HONORING LGBT AND LGBT-ALLIED PROFESSIONALS, BUSINESSES, AND ORGANIZATIONS @ PA LAZZO VERD I AT T HE MA DDEN MUS EU M O F ART • 63 63 S FI DDL ERS GRE E N C I R • GR EE NWO O D V I L L AG E • 6P M • $ 89/ PE RSO N GE NE RA L ; $ 12 5 / P E RSO N VIP

DENVER INDIE GAME EXPO

@ CLUTC H GAM I N G AR EN A • 116 5 1 W 6 4 T H AV E • ARVADA • 1P M We’ve got plenty of game developers in town who want to share the latest and greatest on the indie game circuit. Even if you’re not that big into video games, come explore a world of virtual reality and escapism that’s guaranteed to be unlike any other event that Saturday.

NOV 21

DEC 15

YAPPY HOURS @ ALP I N E DOG BR EW ERY • 1 5 0 5 OG DEN ST • DEN VER • 6 –8 P M

Join the DGLCC and our sponsors for an evening of dancing, dinner, awards, and a silent auction.

It will be a celebratory evening as we honor the members of the community who have impacted LGBT lives for the better.

In another Yappy Hours installment, Alpine Dog Brewery is giving 10 percent of the night’s sales to benefit the Dumb Friends League. There will be an Ugly Sweater Party with prizes for pooches and people!

THANK YOU TO OUR PARTNERS

THRU DECEMBER

MILE HIGH PANTY DRIVE PRONOUN @ AURORA COM M U N I T Y COLLEG E • 2PM & 7.30PM

For all our upcoming yearly events, visit DENVERGLC.ORG 38 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

For the college’s fall 2015 production, the gang has chosen Pronoun, a “hilarious and heartwarming story about transitioning, testosterone, and James Dean.” Sounds intriguing … not to mention cutting edge. Count us in!

@ DI VAS OF N ORT HEAST DE N V E R • 4 138 HALI FAX ST • DEN V ER Meant to bring awareness to the unique plight of homeless and transitioning women, the group hopes to open up a discussion of what it means to be a homeless or transitioning woman in this economy.

The Divas have set a goal of 2000 pairs of panties to be donated to The Gathering Place, Denver’s only women’s shelter on December 5th. Find them on Facebook to arrange pickup/drop off.

NOV 27

THRU NOV 27

LADY TERMINATOR @ S IE FILM CEN T E R • 2 51 0 E COL FA X AVE • DENVER • 10P M Campy gays love campy cinema, and the Sie Film Center is bringin’ it. Lady Terminator has been described as a beefed-up version of the classic that morphs the legend of the South Seas Queen (a horny, murderous lady-demon) with the cyborg story we all know and love. Because naturally, right? DenverFilm.org/FilmCenter

THRU JAN 31

MARILYN MINTER’S PRETTY DIRTY

@ MUS EUM O F CO N T E M PORA RY A RT • DENVER Provocative, erotic, and often explicit, Minter holds little back as she explores the convergent territory between sexual and fashionable in her latest installment at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Suffice it to say, unless you’re uberprogressive, this might not be the place to take the kids or the super-sensitive among your ilk. MCADenver.org

1ST WEDNESDAY

LESBIAN MOMS SUPPORT GROUP

GLITTERATI

@ DEN V ER ART M US EUM From 1521 to 1850, Latin America experienced a stylistic boom in the ornamentals arena.

Elegant silver and gold jewelry incorporated coral from Mexico, emeralds from Colombia, and pearls from Venezuela to give the wealthy all the catwalk fury that’d make heads spin at any Fashion Week event today. Further, art and furniture purveyors joined the rococo game and decked out lavish places for all to see. Now, it’s your turn. DenverArtMuseum.org

NOV 21

@ T HE FAM I LY ROOM • WHEAT RIDGE • 6–7PM

One of two new LGBTQ community spaces that provide for LGBTQ families in Colorado, the group aims for more safe and inclusive spaces for our CO families outside of Denver.

NOV 20

OUT BOULDER 2015 TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE @ COU RT HOUSE O N PEA RL ST & 13TH ST • BOUL DER • 6.45 P M

Out Boulder will be holding our 2nd Annual Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremony, surrounded by a week of events for Transgender Awareness Week. There will be speakers, a march down Pearl St, and a non-religious Remembrance Ceremony. OutBoulder.org/TDOR2015

NATIONAL LGBTQ TASK FORCE DINNER

@ 3 KI N GS TAVER N • 6 0 S . B ROA DWAY • DEN VER • 9 P M Organizers of Night of 100 Dinners are getting ready to eat, drink, and merrily network over dinner to raise some much needed resources for a great cause — LGBTQ freedom, justice, and equality. They’ll have a number of guests who will be hosting in their homes, so prepare to wine and dine in a variety of locales across the metro. TheTaskForce.org/co100dinners OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 39

#LOVEWINS TAPESTRY.

CONT FROM PG 37

ULTIMATE GUIDE TO GIFT GIVING

2015 NERDWAX

HARRY’S SHAVE. stocking stuffer PRODUCTS.

Quality products at fair prices offer a better way to shave with Harry’s grooming supplies available as one-time gift items (great for Dopp kits or gym bags) or as a subscription that sends replacement products on a pre-selected schedule. FROM $5/MONTH harrys.com

stocking stuffer

Shades stay put with a couple nose-dabs of this balmy blend of beeswax and other all-natural and certifiedorganic ingredients designed to keep sun protection (and eyeglasses) firmly in place. $10 nerdwax.com

Your pride speaks for itself with the handmade #LoveWins watercolor tapestry that looks just as great hanging on your wall as it does worn as a shawl. $79 society6.com

SOMABAR ROBOTIC BARTENDER

This app-controlled robotic bartender takes up about as much counter space as your standard KitchenAid mixer while letting you create cocktails and infuse bitters with the ease and effortlessness of a bottle-tossing Brian Flanagan. $429 somebarkickstarter.com

SHORE PROJECTS WATCHES.

Style is of the essence in this customizable collection of watches from across the pond.

UK-based Shore Projects lets timepiecetoting dandies choose from 14 different faces that are interchangeable with a selection of 24 straps available in a spectrum of colors and patterns, like leather, pastel, and polka dots. $260 usa.shoreprojects.com

COOLEST COOLER

A high-performance blender, outdoor Bluetooth speaker with Party Pairing, USB charger, LED light, bottle opener, accessory deck, and other awesome integrated essentials will make you the token LGBT P-I-M-P of your next Sunday morning tailgate party. $485 coolest.com

40 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

MELLOW

Restaurant-quality dining sets up shop in your home kitchen with Mellow, a WIFI-connected, sous-vide-style food-preparation device that cooks food with such precision, you’ll think your hubby hid Wolfgang Puck in the pantry. $399 cookmellow.com

TWISTED TALES Twisted Tales, the Halloween edition of Drag Nation, was held at the EXDO Event Center on October 30th. A capacity crowd clad in colorful and creepy costumes came out to look at the darker side of drag. This month’s festivities, hosted by Nina Flowers, featured Manila Luzon and Trixie Mattel from RuPaul’s Drag Race and a $500 cash prize for best costume.

Photos by Charles Broshous

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 41

FOR WORLD AIDS DAY, REMEMBER THAT VIGILANCE IS A GIFT Rev. Jim Mitulski SEVERAL YEARS AGO, MY FRIENDS AND I — WHO SHARE THE EXPERIENCE OF SURVIVING HIV/AIDS AS A TERMINAL ILLNESS — began calling each other up on December 1, World AIDS Day, and congratulating each other on still being alive.

Sometimes it’s done with a touch of gallows humor, with greetings like “Happy Disease Day!” or maybe just a simple, “We made it another year, who knew?” Still, there’s always a bittersweet awareness of friends who did not survive. We always acknowledge that there’s no virtue in having survived.

We don’t minimize the efforts in remaining compliant with medications that have saved our lives, nor our gratitude for the advances in science that we’ve witnessed since 1981. And we also know that there seems to be an element of luck. On this one day each year, we’re sure to say, “I’m glad to be alive, and I’m glad you’re alive, too.” We also contact people who don’t have the HIV/AIDS virus living in their bodies, but whose acts of loyalty, activism, and solidarity constitute heroism.

We who are alive and affected by this disease in any way are all survivors.

World AIDS Day is a kind of holiday, a time to celebrate, to gather, to remember, and to commit. It hasn’t become commercialized or commodified. More people than ever are living with HIV/AIDS. Newly infected people need communities of support where they’re not judged for their mistakes but reinforced in the changes they are making that will allow them to lead productive lives. In the late 80s, our late friend Paul Francis held a party each year on the anniversary of his diagnosis to celebrate the new awareness of life that this diagnosis brought. He found Hallmark invitation cards that featured a frog sitting on a lily pad with the caption, “Party till you croak!” Some found his merriment in poor taste. He 42 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

People with HIV/AIDS need communities of support where they’re not judged for their mistakes but reinforced in the changes they are making that will allow them to lead productive lives.

reminded them that homosexuals have long determined taste, and that he just wanted people to celebrate that he was glad to be alive. We celebrated with him for three successive years until he died. These holidays with the families of our choosing meant more to us than Thanksgiving or Christmas spent with biological families, and many of us were not welcome at those gatherings anyway because we were gay. Thankfully, fewer people experience that level of stigma today, though many religious groups still judge the people most affected by HIV/ AIDS. They may be open-minded enough to have our funerals, but they still don’t celebrate our weddings.

Let’s observe World AIDS Day as a holiday that begins the month of holidays. Our own City of Denver has adopted an ambitious and achievable goal of ending HIV/AIDS by 2030.

Through December, Christians will light Advent wreaths in expectation of the birth of Love made Flesh. Jews will light Chanukah candles for eight nights, celebrating the miracle of Providence. Pagans of many stripes will gather on the solstice, the longest night of the year, and kindle flames to evoke the returning of the light. Many African-Americans and their allies will light candles at Kwanzaa, especially important in this year of increased awareness that Black Lives Matter.

World AIDS Day is our contribution to this season. Light candles of memory and of hope this year.

You are invited to celebrate World AIDS Day on 7pm, December 1, at Metropolitan Community Church. AIDS Quilts from the NAMES Project will be on display. Send pictures of loved ones to be remembered in a slide presentation with their names and yours to jswitzer.mccr@gmail.com.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS YEAR’S DGLCC BUSINESS AWARDS GALA WINNERS

19th Annual

GRANT MULLER is the founder and managing realtor of Spaces Real Estate. Grant volunteers for Urban Peak, the Renaissance Housing Development Corporation, and the Boulder County AIDS Project.

Grant is our Entrepreneurial Man of the Year. YourSpaces.com ELLEN TRACHMAN, the founding partner of the Trachman Law Center, has been helping families grow for a decade. She volunteers for the Rocky Mountain Children’s Law Center, the Birth Rights Bar Association, and RESOLVE, a national infertility association. Ellen is our Entrepreneurial Woman of the Year. TrachmanLawCenter.com LARRY SONDGEROTH, our Professional Man of the Year, has been helping homebuyers into homes for more than eight years. Reach out to Larry on LinkedIn! EDEN LANE has been a television producer, reporter, and correspondent for the last eight years. She was also recognized in Westword’s 2015 Best of Denver list for her outstanding nonnetwork reporting. Catch her show, In Focus with Eden Lane, on CPT12. InFocusTV.org

THANK YOU TO

Our Partners

MARJORIE SILVA won local hearts and made international

headlines when she refused to write a discriminatory message on one of her delicious cakes. In doing so, Marjorie took a major stand for the LGBT community. Find out more about Marjorie and her delicious cakes at AzucarBakery.com OUR CORPORATE ALLY OF THE YEAR, DENVER PUBLIC HEALTH, received the Leader in Healthcare Equality award from The Human Rights Campaign in 2014, one of only three hospitals in Colorado to receive this recognition. DPH is committed to remaining a leader in health services for our LGBTQ community through support, outreach, and education. DenverHealth.org OUR NONPROFIT WINNER, GENDER IDENTITY CENTER OF COLORADO, founded in 1978 and incorporated in June 1980, provides support to any gender variant in their gender identity and expression. The Gender Identity Center is also an informational and educational resource to the community at large.

OUR NONPROFIT WINNER, OUT & EQUAL WORKPLACE ADVOCATES, is the world’s premiere nonprofit organization dedicated to achieving lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender workplace equality. Out & Equal collaborates with Fortune 1000 companies and government agencies to provide a safe, welcoming, and supportive environment for LGBT employees.

OUR NONPROFIT WINNER, AMERICAN VETERANS FOR EQUAL RIGHTS, ROCKY MOUNTAIN CHAPTER, is a 501c3 nonprofit organization founded in May of 2012. AVER is a nonprofit, chapter-based association of active, reserve, and veteran servicemembers dedicated to full and equal rights and equitable treatment for all present and former members of the US Armed Forces.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 43

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H EI N ZES I G H T

FORGETTING CHILDHOOD LESSONS Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist HEY BRENT, SO MANY PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY SEEM SO THOUGHTLESS AND MEAN WHEN INTERACTING WITH OTHER PEOPLE. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S IN A BAR OR ONLINE — PEOPLE ARE JUST SO RUDE! THEY DO THINGS LIKE NOT RESPOND TO MESSAGES OR TALK CRAP BEHIND YOUR BACK. I WASN’T RAISED TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS AND I’M ALWAYS SURPRISED WHEN PEOPLE ACT IN THESE WAYS. WHY ARE GAY MEN SO UNKIND? I wish I had the definitive answer to this.

I find it surprising how often we lose some of the important lessons we learned growing up, especially regarding how to interact with other people. Many of the wonderful values of treating people with compassion, respect, and friendship are often stomped out by our desire to climb social ladders or link up with the hottest guy. I think our parents would be ashamed if they knew we were taking what they taught us and disregarding them by treating people badly.

Most of us weren’t raised with the belief that it’s acceptable not to live up to our promises or expectations. This happens many times in the gay world when people let us down by not showing up for dates or cancelling at the last minute with a halfbaked excuse. There are also situations when someone expresses they’re interested in hanging out, but have no intention of following through. Honesty and integrity are two characteristics often lacking with these people. Most times their attitudes and behaviors point to their own insecurities and developments of negative habits. Unfortunately, it’s often nice people who are hurt by their thoughtlessness or rudeness.

Some enjoy the power trip of being in a higher pecking order than we may have experienced when we were younger.

Instead of remembering what it felt like to be on the outside looking in at people having good friends and a lot of fun, we may decide to trade these lonely memories for hurtful behaviors 46 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

that make us feel better about our current situation or past insecurities.

Some complain that we exist in a series of cliques. In societies, we all have the tendency to link up with people we feel comfortable with. Having a core group of buddies is different from creating a group to directly exclude someone from your exclusive social club. The force-field surrounding some groups of people seem impenetrable and some enjoy feeling the power from being in it. It’s like a “mean girl” movie playing out in real life.

Our humanity doesn’t have to get lost in the social, dating, and hookup aspects of the world — it doesn’t matter if interactions happen in person or from the latest tech. Don’t forget that there is a real human on the receiving end of whatever you’re giving and not just some lifeless mound of hamburger. Most of us are quick to complain when these things happen and become upset about the state of the gay union, but turn around and do these things to others. Don’t forget those basic, wonderful lessons. Be conscious of existing as a thoughtful person, not a self-important individual singularly focused on getting your own needs met at the expense of others. Spend your time surrounding yourself with good people who’ve incorporated the lessons of thoughtfulness and responsible living into their lives instead of focusing your attention on those who aren’t going to be respectful of you.

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LATIN NIGHT AT CHARLIE’S A capacity crowd was livin’ la vida loca during Latin Night at Charlie’s on November 7th. The monthly fiesta in the Jack Daniels Lounge was hosted by Mariah Spanic and featured drinks, dancing, and drag.

Photos by Charles Broshous

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BAR TAB 1417 Krameria, Denver (720) 287-0584

HAPPY HOUR Endless beer & cocktails $12 4pm–8pm Tuesday – Sunday

BA RK ER LOU NG E

TUESDAY Dart League: Games start at 7pm

475 Santa Fe, Denver (303) 778-0545

BA RR ICU DA'S

THURSDAY Underwear Night: Best Party in Denver $10 Bud Light pitchers 9pm–Close

1076 Ogden St., Denver (303) 860-8353 barricudasdenver.com

EVERY 3RD SATURDAY Gear Nigh: Leather and Fetish Gear 9pm–Close

B LUSH & BLU

HAMBURGER MARY’S

1526 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 484-8548 blushblubar.com

700 E. 17 th Ave., Denver (303) 832-1333 hamburgermarys.com/denver

B OYZTOWN

MANIC MONDAYS Happy Hour from open to close.

Karaoke @ 9pm with Allison

117 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com

B ROA DWAYS 1027 Broadway, Denver (303) 623-0700 facebook.com/broadways.denver

C HA R LIE'S ® 900 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com DAILY SPECIALS Open–close: $3 domestic minipitchers (32-oz.)

11am–7pm: $3 wells, $3 domestics, and $4 u-calls. 8–10pm: $5 PB&J drink & shot special THURSDAYS 2-4-1 drinks from 7pm–close FRIDAYS $3 Absolut from 9pm–close SATURDAYS $3 Svedka (all flavors) from 9pm–close SUNDAYS Svedka and well liquor bust from 4–8pm. Drag Divas: show starts at 9pm, $5 big pitchers

LANNIE’S CLOCKTOWER CA BAR E T 16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe (303) 293-0075 lannies.com

LIL’ DEVILS 255 South Broadway, Denver (303) 733-1156 lildevilslounge.com

TRACKS 3500 Walnut St., Denver (303) 863-7326 tracksdenver.com

BR

BL

SUPERSTAR THURSDAYS 18+ dance party Cover: 18–20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10pm ELEVATED SATURDAYS 2-for-1 drinks between 9–10pm No cover before 10pm

LANNIE’S

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110 N. Nevada Ave., Colo. Springs (719) 578-7771 undergroundbars.com

CO M POU ND BASIX

W RANGLER

145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977 compounddenver.com

1700 Logan St., Denver (303) 837-1075 denverwrangler.com

COMPOUND BOYZTOWN

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11TH AVE. VINYL

ALAMEDA AVE. ARKANSAS AVE.

COLORADO BLVD.

BROADWAY

1ST AVE.

OGDEN ST.

BARKER LOUNGE

CLARKSON ST.

8TH AVE. 6TH AVE.

COLFAX AVE. AQUA LOUNGE

R&R

BARRICUDA’S WASHINGTON ST.

SANTA FE DR. KALAMATH ST.

48 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

629 E. Colfax Ave., Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com

N

DENVER BAR MAP

KRAMERIA ST.

UNDERGROUND PU B

1475 36 St., Denver (303) 291-0250 theeaglebar.com

AL

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TRACKS

YORK ST.

1891 14 St #110, Denver (303) 586-4199 cravedenver.com

DRAG NATION LAST FRIDAYS The nation’s best drag show with the hottest celebrity drag queens!

16 T

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BABES AROUND DENVER FIRST FRIDAYS Largest monthly women’s party in the US! Doors open at 6pm. 21+

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COLORADO BLVD.

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WEDNESDAYS: DOLLS WITH BALLS BINGO Hosted by Alexandra Winters & Harley Quinn. Free! Starts at 9pm.

BROADWAY

C LUB Q

TUESDAYS: OUTRAGEOUS DRAG BINGO Hosted by Sasha Andrews & Jackie Summers. Balls drop at 9pm. Free to play!

DOWNING ST.

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THE HOTTEST DENVER NIGHTLIFE

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EL POTRERO

BLACK CROWN

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 49

H EA LT H

FIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO HELP END THE AIDS EPIDEMIC IN THE PAST FIVE YEARS, MORE THAN 2000 PEOPLE WERE NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH HIV IN COLORADO. HIV/AIDS has a large impact in the LGBT community, where in Denver alone, nearly four out of every five individuals diagnosed with HIV identifies as a gay or bisexual man. These are sobering statistics to reflect on ahead of World AIDS Day on December 1.

Given the remarkable scientific advances and HIV-prevention tools currently available, even one new diagnosis is one too many. Denver agrees and made a bold statement earlier this year by joining 50 other cities around the world in the Fast-Track Cities Initiative committed to ending the AIDS epidemic by 2030. In doing so, the city set aggressive goals to reach by 2020.

WHAT ARE THOSE GOALS? • 90 percent of people living with HIV will know their status.

• 90 percent of people who know their HIV-positive status will be on HIV treatment.

• 90 percent of people living with HIV on treatment will have their virus under control.

• Zero discrimination, including stigma.

Denver is poised to be one of the first cities to achieve these targets, and you can help.

HERE ARE FIVE WAYS TO PREVENT GETTING OR PASSING ON HIV. GET TESTED EVERY 3–6 MONTHS. It’s simple, but the first step to ending HIV is knowing your status. In the Denver metro area, one in seven gay and bisexual men doesn’t know he’s living with HIV and may unknowingly expose his partner(s).

TALK ABOUT PREP. (AND IF YOU’RE HIV-NEGATIVE, FIGURE OUT IF PREP IS RIGHT FOR YOU.) Regardless of your HIV status, talk about PrEP. According to a Kaiser Family Foundation survey, more than half of gay and bisexual men in the US have not heard about PrEP. We need to make sure people who can benefit most from PrEP are aware it exists and can make an informed decision about whether PrEP is right for them. Pro tip: Denver Public Health now offers 50 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

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PrEP. If you have questions or are interested in scheduling a consult appointment, call (303) 602-3652.

KNOW WHEN AND WHERE TO GET PEP. Not to be confused with PrEP, PEP stands for post-exposure prophylaxis. PEP is emergency HIV medicine to prevent HIV infection if started within 72 hours after a potential exposure to HIV. As a disclaimer, taking PEP does not guarantee you will not become infected with the virus but does dramatically reduce the risk in case you are exposed. If you find yourself in an emergency situation where you need PEP, you can get a prescription from your medical provider or Denver Public Health’s STD and Family Planning Clinic.

CONTINUE TO TAKE YOUR MEDS REGULARLY. Whether you’re HIV-positive and taking HIV medicine to control your virus, or HIV-negative and taking PrEP to prevent HIV infection, continue to take your medicine regularly. In doing so, you’re making a great difference in ending new HIV infections.

If you’re HIV-positive and taking your HIV medicine regularly, not only are you staying healthy and keeping your virus under control with an undetectable viral load, but you’re also greatly reducing the risk of passing the virus to your sexual partners.

That’s a pretty sweet deal for everyone involved.

BRING UP HIV STATUS WITH YOUR PARTNER (BEFORE YOU GET IT UP).

Admittedly the worst time to bring up HIV status with your partner is when things are getting hot and heavy. Commit to bringing it up before getting it up. Isn’t it better to be in the know? It can be as easy as putting your status in your dating profile or texting it to your potential hookup ahead of time. Check out Denver Public Health’s Bring It Up campaign for additional tips to bring up HIV in conversation and visit DenverBringsItUp.org.

With World AIDS Day approaching on December 1, the day is a great reminder that we all have a role to play in changing the future of HIV/AIDS. Will you help end the AIDS epidemic by 2030?

D E N V E R H E A LT H . O R G / E N D A I D S

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 51

H EA LT H

DUELING WITH DEPRESSION, PART DEUX Mike Yost I SAT PATIENTLY IN A WELL-LIT WAITING ROOM surrounded by white, banal walls with elevator music leaking out of the ceiling speakers. I was feeling a little anxious, and perhaps a bit surly. I was asked to fill out a questionnaire before seeing a therapist, and the questions were clearly plucked right out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

“We have to consider how we think, because the problem of depression lies in the very gears of our thinking process.”

DO YOU EXPERIENCE FEELINGS OF SADNESS OR WORTHLESSNESS MOST OF THE DAY? Yes. That’s why I’m here.

Dr. Neel Burton is a psychiatrist who teaches at Oxford and argues that depression is actually good for you. “From an existential standpoint,” he writes in Psychology Today, “the adoption of the depressive position obliges us to become aware of our mortality and freedom, and challenges us to exercise the latter within the framework of the former.”

HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED LACK OF INTEREST OR PLEASURE IN YOUR ACTIVITIES? Yes. That’s why I’m here.

HAVE YOU EVER FELT SUICIDAL? Not until I started filling out this questionnaire.

The therapist wasn’t amused by my answers and was unsettled that I would joke about suicide. (We lasted only a few sessions.)

Humor has always been a bastion for me, as it sometimes loosens depression’s firm grip. Comedian Patton Oswalt has a great bit about blowing his head off in the frozen-foods section of a supermarket. “It was the combination of 11am on a Tuesday, Lean Cuisines, and Toto’s Africa. I have never felt more peacefully, effortlessly, joyously suicidal.”

I find refuge in humor because when medications don’t work, you’re forced to wade through a massive maelstrom of studies, professional declarations, and outright bizarre claims on how to “cure” depression.

And it’s really depressing.

Author A.B. Curtiss is a cognitive behavioral therapist who argues in her book, Depression is a Choice, that you can’t overcome depression using medications or psychoanalysis.

52 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

There is, of course, a plethora of psychiatrists who argue that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain, a genetic misstep of biological wiring that you have no control over, regardless of your thinking process.

Then there’s Scientology, where apparently I can be depressionfree if I clear out my engrams.

Whatever the cause, one thing for me is certain — the medications didn’t do squat. Which is depressing.

Especially when you take into consideration that medications do help some people, many of whom have told me that if it weren’t for antidepressants, they’d be dead.

So what the hell is wrong with me?

“Over the past 20 years, we’ve seen a huge increase in the amount of treatment and services we’re providing,” says Dr. Stephen Ilardi, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas. “We haven’t moved the needle at all in terms of the overall lifetime prevalence rate. It looks like the rates of depression are going up, especially among young people.”

He adds that it’s frustrating to witness this trend, “and alarming once you consider that clinical depression is the leading cause of disability for Americans age 45 and under.”

So it seems I’m not alone in my frustration, as Ilardi has worked with patients struggling with depression for which medications

have had zero impact. “I tell them, ‘Look, the medications at best help about 1 out of 2 people, and that’s in the short term.

It’s a lower number in the long term.’ And their jaws drop, and they say, ‘My God, I had no idea.’”

Ilardi argues that depression falls into the same pattern as other illnesses which are sometimes referred to as diseases of modernity. “These are diseases endemic to the developed, industrialized, westernized parts of the world, and largely non-existent among aboriginal groups.”

In other words, depression has more to do with how we’re living. “Which is, of course, not to say that there are neurological substrates of depression,” he adds, “it’s just that I don’t believe they’re happening randomly.”

Ilardi developed a treatment program called Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes (TLC), consisting of six strategies including regular aerobic exercise, light exposure, and Omega-3 intake to help combat depression.

Why Omega-3?

Ilardi contends that there’s evidence to suggest that a depressed brain is also an inflamed brain. Omega-3 is an anti-inflammatory, essential fatty acid which our bodies cannot produce, which means we need to ingest it. But the typical American diet takes in far too many Omega-6 fatty acids, which are inflammatory (usually ingested in the form of processed foods).

Although Ilardi warns that not everyone with depression has high levels of inflammation in the brain, “meta-analysis has been consistently showing that if you look at the randomized trials, there is a particular species of Omega-3 molecules that is actually a pretty powerful anti-depressant. It’s called EPA, which stands for eicosapentaenoic acid.”

And Omega-3 EPA doesn’t just work because of its antiinflammatory qualities. “There’s some evidence that they help with signaling fidelity in circuits that use serotonin and dopamine.”

After working with about 150 patients, Ilardi asked them which TLC element was the most effective. “One of my patients will say, ‘Within 3 days of taking the Omega-3, it was a major turning point for me. It was almost like my body was craving that.’ While others will say, ‘As soon as I started using the light box,’ or others who will say, ‘Within the first week or two after I started exercising.’

Which for me is the point. Though many of the symptoms of depression overlap, the causes (and therefore the treatments) are varied.

It’s all about navigating that maelstrom and finding the right combination of treatments and strategies that work for you — an unyielding blitzkrieg attack on a merciless enemy.

In the meantime, just stay out of the frozen-food section of the grocery store on Tuesday mornings, especially if they’re playing Toto.

If you’re struggling with your mental health and need help, contact the Colorado Crisis and Support Line at 844-493-TALK (8255) or visit their website at ColoradoCrisisServices.org OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 53

H EA LT H

FOR A TASTY THANKSGIVING MEAL, CONSIDER THE SMALL THINGS Kelsey Lindsey NICE LINENS, CANDLELIGHT, AND MAYBE SOME SMOOTH JAZZ IN THE BACKGROUND. Or maybe a bare tabletop, Ikea tableware, and some plastic grapes spilling out of your makeshift cornucopia table piece. However you celebrate your Thanksgiving meal, whether it’s with turkey, Tofurky, pumpkin pie, or gluten-free pumpkin spice bars, food will most likely take the center stage in this beloved night of all-American, family-friendly gluttony.

No matter the backdrop, there are some tiny tweaks to dining or dishware that can influence how bitter that after-dinner coffee (and, who are we kidding, schnapps) or gravy tastes. For years, researchers have been observing how environmental differences affect humans’ perceptions of flavor and taste of the foods that they eat. Because, you know, science.

If you’re looking to plate the perfect Thanksgiving meal — and perhaps give your cooking a subconscious flavor kick (although I’m sure there is plenty of flavor in that masterfully cooked turkey, you top chef, you) — consider selecting a dinner soundtrack full of brass instruments and lower-pitched sounds.

Researchers have found that different pitches in music affect the bitter or sweet flavor in certain foods: More savory foods are associated with lower-pitched sounds, and sweet foods 54 NOVEMBER 18, 2015

Don’t worry about low-carb/cal/fat alternatives — just switch the color of your plates and the style of music you’re playing on Thxgvn.

are associated with higher-pitched sounds.

The color of the dinnerware can also affect the serving size of your Thanksgiving meal, especially if you’re enjoying it family style. In a 2006 study, two researchers observed the serving size of pasta that 60 people served themselves buffet style, alternating the color of plates that were passed out to each person. Those with red plates serving themselves pasta with tomato sauce, and those with white plates serving themselves pasta with alfredo sauce helped themselves to 22 percent more pasta than those who served themselves sauce that contrasted with their plate color. While Thanksgiving is always a time to indulge, consider serving those mash potatoes or turkey on colored plates to curb the desire to go completely overboard.

Even having a contrast between the tablecloth and dinnerware was found to reduce the serving size by as much as 10 percent.

And of course, something we’ve known for decades: People enjoy food more when they are in groups and in a good mood.

While the former experience is guaranteed for many this Thanksgiving, the latter … well, not so much. If things do escalate, please resist the urge to chuck any plate, regardless of its color. That’s sure to spoil any good meal.

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O U T BAC K CLASSIFIEDS Envisioned by Boberto

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 57

BAC KWO R DS

THE SCOPES SCORPIO: You are on fire, Scorpio! We know you’re used to getting lots of attention for making peoples’ teeth sweat, but geez!

It’s a wonder you’ve been so faithful to your life-goals this past month, what with all the temptation around you. Good on ya!

SAGITTARIUS: You’ve lost something pretty big this year, and the memory still haunts you from time to time. It’s ok if you’re not sure how exactly to grieve this particular loss — most people don’t handle it in ways them make them feel comfortable, either. Just remember that there’s no right or wrong way to go about it. We hope that helps.

CAPRICORN: It’s not in your head, Capricorn — your life has been unfair lately. I think the expression, “No good deed goes unpunished” might define it lately. Perhaps you shouldn’t trifle with others’ affairs as much, no matter how hard they beg for your help and advice. Life for you would move along at a smoother pace without it.

AQUARIUS: You never stop to congratulate yourself on the many things you’ve accomplished, water bearer. While your modesty is charming, the devastation of never taking a second to look at the good you’ve done catches up to you in the form of severe anxiety. This isn’t a “driving force,” as you’ve put it; it’s corrosive. Work on that!

PISCES: While you were busy bragging about your recent purchases, you failed to take care of actual financial obligations. Though it may seem easy to live so carefree lately, you should pay attention to the things you’re not exactly free to disregard care for. Show a little more concern before you’re making “for sale” ads on Craigslist.

ARIES: There’s something missing from your life that you can’t quite place, but we know just what it is — your old hobbies.

Those once-was passions that kinda died out over the years are barking up your tree again, but you’re somehow “too busy” to listen. Don’t do that! You’re still really good at those things.

TAURUS: You struck some gold earlier, but now isn’t the time to rest on your laurels, bull! They say to strike while the iron is hot, and you best realize that yours hasn’t cooled.

Take advantage of that momentum and keep puttin’ the hurt on those obstacles.

GEMINI: Have you paid attention to the horizon, lately? It’s changing right before your eyes. Whatever it is you’re up to is getting the attention of people outside your realm, and they’re soon going to make you a part of theirs — a welcome change that proves both intellectually and financially stimulating.

CANCER: That big payout you’ve been gunning for will be postponed this month, but don’t fret. We know it’s cliche (and often enraging) to tell you that “everything happens for a reason,” but this time it’s true. Understand that the delay signifies even more growth. You’ll see what we mean.

LEO: Not only have you opened yourself up to more earthly gains (the fruits of working out and busting some ass in the office), but you’ve become more spiritually minded here lately.

No, we don’t mean going to church; we’re just talking about your newfound appreciation for looking at things bigger than yourself. Personally, we think it’s a good fit.

VIRGO: What’s with you pulling away from friends and family lately, Virgo? They’re wondering what’s going on with you and, honestly, they have that right. Listen: It’s one thing if you tell people you need space; they can understand that. It’s going AWOL that makes it selfish. You should at least explain.

LIBRA: We understand that it’s election season, but you’re going a little overboard with your aggressions when people disagree with you. Seriously, the bickering over politics is a time-honored tradition, but the way you’ve gone about it these past few weeks is the kind that’s time-dishonored. Don’t be that person.

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