December 16, 2015 :: Momentum

E XC L USIV E: ED DIE RED M AY NE + T HE DA NISH GIRL

DECEMBER 16, 2015 | OUTFRONTONLINE .COM | FREE

Momentum Out + Proud in the 70 s/80 s/90 s +

O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 3

CONTENTS DECEMBER 16, 2015 VOL39 NO18

18

06 IN CASE YOU MISSED IT 10 I STOPPED CALLING MYSELF AN LGBT ALLY. I BECAME AN ACCOMPLICE.

Photo Credit: Lee Snider

12 THE TRANSITION INTO VULNERABILITY

12

36

18 MOMENTUM: HIGHLIGHTS FROM 45 YEARS OF LGBT PROGRESS 20 IN THE BEGINNING ...

34 ASK A SLUT 36 LIAR LIAR 38 CALENDAR 42 DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: IF THIS ISN’T NICE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS 44 BAR TAB 46 HIV: YEP, IT’S STILL A THING 50 BACKWORDS

ON THE COVER

10 4 DECEMBER 16, 2015

Eddie Redmayne + Alicia Vikander in The Danish Girl

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 5

Ryan Howe

IN CASE YOU

MISSED IT JUST A TIDBIT FROM OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

WHITE HOUSE WILL NOT SET QUOTA FOR LGBT SYRIAN REFUGEES, BUT SET AS PRIORITY On Dec. 6, the President addressed the nation from the Oval Office focusing on his commitment to dismantle ISIS. In the address, Obama called ISIS “thugs and killers” and called the organization “part of a cult of death.”

The following Tuesday, White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest followed up with reporters who had questions about the address. One question in particular, posed by the Washington Blade, focused on getting LGBT refugees out of Syria and whether there were certain slots saved for LGBT people to relocate to the US. Short answer: There aren’t a number of slots set aside for LGBT Syrians, but the administration would make cases of individuals “deemed to be the most vulnerable”

a priority. He followed up by saying LGBT people are among the groups facing persecution that would meet that definition.

As they should. As of August, Islamic State militants had reportedly executed more than 30 men in Iraq and Syria over allegations they engaged in “sodomy.” There was even a report from the Washington Blade that a transgender woman was hung from her breasts in Damascus.

Neil Grungras, executive director of the Organization for Refugee Asylum & Migration, said he agrees the most vulnerable refugees should be a priority, which is why ORAM will “continue to advocate” for setting aside 500 slots for LGBT people among the additional refugees.

JOHN STAMOS BARES HIS BUTT CHEEKS Like nearly every gay millennial growing up, the best thing about Full House, besides the Olsen twins being sassy little humans, was John Stamos. There was something about that mullet, adorable smile, and cooler-than-you attitude that made our gay skin tingle. He may not have been our first man crush, and he surely wasn’t our last, but he holds a special place in our little gay hearts.

Lately, he’s been busy with both his new Fox sitcom Grandfathered and his role in the upcoming My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, which we’re excited about. He’s also set to 6 DECEMBER 16, 2015

TRANS TRAILBLAZER HOLLY WOODLAWN DIES AT 69 Holly Woodlawn, a trailblazing trans entertainer who emerged in the early 1970s as one of Andy Warhol’s dynamic superstars and who inspired a verse of Lou Reed’s Walk on the Wild Side, has died in Los Angeles at age 69 after a long battle with cancer.

Holly achieved an underground, queer stardom after her role in Trash. Before premiering, she had been in the outer orbit of Andy Warhol’s Factory, and eventually caught the eye of director Paul Morrissey, who cast her in Trash as the longsuffering paramour of a heroin addict who lives in squalor on the Lower East Side. Her portrayal was spot on, and had some campaigning for an Oscar nomination. This didn’t happen, and her acting career didn’t blossom after her second movie, Women in Revolt.

But that didn’t stop her from entertaining. She went on to become a burlesque performer and author, as she released her memoir, A Low Life in Heels, in 1991. The book shared her vibrant life candidly, and was rumored to become a movie starring Madonna. This didn’t happen either, but filmmaker Mike Stabile, known for Seed Money, a documentary about vintage gay porn director Chuck Holmes, is currently working on a documentary of Woodlawn. In October, Stabile told Queerty that Woodlawn was one of the last “trailblazers who didn’t give a f*ck what society thought.”

come back for the Netflix series Fuller House, and continuing his work for the adoption charity Project Cuddle.

However, our interests don’t fall on his resume, but rather his backside. In his latest photoshoot for Paper Magazine, Stamos went full monty, and while we know it’s cliché to say, have mercy!

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SAME-SEX COUPLE TAKES THE CAKE On August 13, the Colorado Court of Appeals announced its long-awaited decision in Craig v.

Masterpiece Cakeshop, ruling that a Colorado bakery could not cite religious beliefs as the reason to refuse to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple. Back in 2012, Charlie Craig and David Mullens were planning their marriage in Massachusetts, and a celebration with family and friends in Colorado.

They asked Jack Phillips, owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, to bake them a wedding case.

However, their seemingly simple request was rejected by Mr. Phillips, who refused to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple due to his religious convictions. Mr. Craig and Mr. Mullens filed a complaint with the Colorado Civil Rights Divisions, and an Administrative Judge for the commissions agreed with them that Masterpiece Cakeshop had improperly discriminated against them. Masterpiece then took the case to the Colorado Court of Appeals.

In ruling in favor of Mr. Craig and Mr. Mullens, the Colorado Court of Appeals relied on the seminal US Supreme Court case of Obergefell v. Hodges, which granted same-sex couples the right just a few months earlier. Quoting the

Obergefell case, the Colorado Court of Appeals held that “The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy and spirituality. This is true for all persons, whatever their sexual orientation.” It therefore appears that the Obergefell decision created a clear path for the Colorado Court of Appeals to prohibit the discrimination of a same-sex couple.

The Colorado Court of Appeals further shot down Mr. Phillips’ argument that his rights to exercise free speech and religion allowed him to discriminate against a same-sex couple. The Court determined that “the act of designing and selling a wedding cake to all customers free of discrimination does not convey a message about same sex weddings likely to be understood by those that view it.”

The summer of 2015 will long be remembered for the landmark legal victories that same-sex couples achieved, both nationally and here in Colorado.

Bloch & Chapleau is a full service law firm that represents clients in domestic, criminal, personal injury, and civil matters. One of the first firms in Denver to represent same-sex couples in marriage and civil union matters, including divorce and pre-nuptial agreements, call Bloch & Chapleau today to schedule a consultation.

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The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice about your particular situation, please contact an attorney.

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 7

Ryan Howe

IN CASE YOU

MISSED IT JUST ONE MORE TIDBIT FROM OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

GEORGE TAKEI USES PAST EXPERIENCE TO TAKE ON TRUMP Clearly, the nation has had enough of Donald Trump — well, those with functional, productive brain activity or memory, have had it, officially, with the racist bully who’s dominated our television sets and Facebook feeds. But it was his most recent comment that has the media in a frenzy to figure out how to talk about this man, and every other sensible person trying to find a way to put an end to these damaging shenanigans.

On Monday, a campaign release stated, “Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on.” This is after he called for surveillance against mosques and said he was open to establishing a database for all Muslims living in the US. His message comes in the wake of a deadly mass shooting in San Bernardino, CA, by suspected ISIS sympathizers, and a day after President Obama asked the country not to “turn against one another” out of fear.

And yet, Trump continues to instill fear into Americans. He is dangerous, and he is trying to repeat history. So when George Takei spoke with MSNBC about Trump, he recalled a time from his past when he too was targeted based solely on his heritage.

He spoke about his time in an internment camp.

“It’s ironic that he made that comment on December 7, Pearl Harbor Day, the very event that put us in those internment camps,” Takei stated. “In the 1980s, Congress organized a commission to look into the reasons why that internment happened. They found that it was three things that brought that about: one was racial hysteria; second was war hysteria; and third was failure of political leadership. Donald Trump is the perfect example of that failure,” Takei added. *snap, snap, snap*

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O U T F R O N T O N L I N E . C O M 9

experience homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia, and I also needed to hear how the intersection of racism, sexism, and poverty contributes to further marginalization — especially for those for whom waking up everyday and living an authentic life is a revolutionary act.

OPINION

As an accomplice, it was important for me to say, “Yes, I support you, and I am here with you. I’m rolling up my sleeves.

What can I do?”

I STOPPED CALLING MYSELF AN LGBT ALLY. I BECAME AN ACCOMPLICE. Sommer N. Foster I USED TO BE A SELF-PROCLAIMED ALLY. I had a gay best friend. I had gay and lesbian family members. I voted against the gay marriage ban. I pushed back against homophobic comments written on social media. I had an HRC sticker on my computer. I was progressive. I was enlightened. And I rightly believed that LGBTQ people deserved the same rights as everyone else. I was proud to claim my ally-ship as my identity. I was an LGBTQ Ally!

Except, I wasn’t.

I was just a decent person who believed in equal rights for everyone. That isn’t exceptional, and I certainly didn’t deserve a pat on the back or any accolades.

Through a lot of work and a lot of selfeducation, I learned that my ally-ship wasn’t helping the community I claimed to be aligned with. The only person my ally-ship was helping was me. It was about my status as an ally, not being an ally, and that’s something it was never intended to be.

10 DECEMBER 16, 2015

My first problem was that I wasn’t talking to LGBTQ people about what they needed. Yes, I talked to my LGBTQ friends about work, politics, and random gossip, but we weren’t talking about job discrimination, or how it felt to come out almost every single day, or the fear of walking down the street, or the intense bullying they face, or how society normalizes being cis or heterosexual and erases their identities at every turn.

So once I started talking to folks, I realized I needed to stop talking and do a lot more listening. I stopped calling myself an ally. I became dedicated to the principle of standing in solidarity with the LGBTQ community.

I became an accomplice.

I reached out beyond my über-educated friends who lived in suburbia with super-supportive parents. If I was serious about standing in solidarity, I needed to listen to the experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. I needed to listen to people who

As someone who’s lead campaigns and has been a leader on many issues, recognizing that it is not my place to lead this struggle was a difficult thing for me to do. But I knew that for me to be a genuine accomplice, I needed to follow the lead of people who have lived this; I needed to follow those who’ve spent their lives engaged in the struggle for equality, particularly those LGBTQ people who are most vulnerable because, as much as I can empathize, I can never fully understand.

It’s also important for me to be accountable to the LGBTQ community and to accept criticism. It can be very easy to act with the best of intentions and still do significant amounts of harm to the people I love and respect by choosing tactics or methods that reinforce my own privilege. This is why, as I engage in this work, listening is one of the most important things I can do.

If LGBTQ people are telling us over and over again that something is wrong with our current tactics, it’s important to take it seriously. These critiques should not be taken personally; they should be seen as opportunities for personal reflection and growth.

I’ve learned so much on this journey and I’m still learning, still listening, and still educating myself. I’ll never be a perfect accomplice. Sometimes I take up too much space, or reinforce gender norms, or even use the wrong pronoun. But, as an accomplice, I am willing to own that and say, “I’m sorry.”

I am committed to being better. I am committed to waking up every morning and asking, “What can I do to be in solidarity with the LGBTQ community today?” I hope you will join me.

Like the artist? There’s more of that good stuff at EclectaBlog.com.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 11

The Transition Into Vulnerability Donovan Leary

12  DECEMBER 16, 2015

Most of the world’s great actors are master impersonators in one form or another,

“[For many trans women], the greatest challenge was having to adapt themselves to how society viewed them, even though on the inside they knew they were very different from the identity or role that society expected of them.”

and Eddie Redmayne has the chameleonic capacity to shape-shift at will.

Earlier this year, he won an Oscar for his brilliant performance as the severely incapacitated physicist Stephen Hawking. Now, in The Danish Girl, he’s taken the process of transformation further still with his portrayal of Lili Elbe, the Danish painter who was the first person to undergo gender-confirmation surgery, transitioning from male to female. Following the film’s premiere at the Venice and Toronto film festivals, critics raved about Redmayne’s astonishing performance and he’s an odds-on favorite to earn yet another Oscar nomination.

How does the affable British actor put all this in perspective?

“It’s impossible to imagine getting these kinds of opportunities and I know these kinds of roles will not come along again, at least not anytime soon,” Redmayne says. “I feel very privileged to play these two extraordinary people and it’s beyond anything I expected. I was thrilled to have the chance to work on films like Savage Grace and now I’m almost resigned to the fact that I may have reached my quota.”

Directed by Tom Hooper, The Danish Girl traces the evolution of artist Einar Wegener into Lili and the steadfast support given by Einar’s wife Gerda, played movingly by rising Swedish actress Alicia Vikander.

As an indication of how complete and convincing Redmayne’s transformation into Lili actually becomes, his co-star Vikander recalled how she was fooled the first day Eddie walked onto the set as Lili Elbe: “This red-headed woman came around the corner and it took me a full five minutes — for real — before I knew it was Eddie.”

Should Remayne go on to win a rare Oscar double, he’d become the first actor since Tom Hanks in 1994 and 1995 (with Philadelphia and Forrest Gump) to earn consecutive awards.

What was the most interesting thing you learned about Einar’s transformation into Lili?

Having spoken to many trans women while preparing to play the part, I discovered they all knew from a very early age — 4 or 5 — that they were a different gender. Their greatest challenge

was having to adapt themselves to how society viewed them, even though on the inside they knew they were very different from the identity or role that society expected of them. There’s a scene where Lili puts on a dress for the first time that suggests an awakening to her true self but she had already known that about herself since she was very young.

Eddie, aside from the remarkable gender transformation of Einar into Lili, The Danish Girl is also the story of the close relationship with his wife, Gerda.

I was struck by how these two formidable people went on a journey together that was driven by love and not defined by gender. They loved each other’s souls and shared something very beautiful together that made it much easier for Lili go through this process.

So the actual transformation becomes a great relief to Lili as it does for other trans women?

It’s still a difficult transition because you’re dealing with how society will look at you even though you may feel you’re finally able to present your authentic self.

Another interesting thing I discovered was that trans women find the term “gender reassignment” mislabeling of what is taking place. They have always felt that they were women and the procedure is really “gender-confirmation” surgery.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 13

“It was more difficult to discover and understand Lili when she was living as Einar. It was much more obvious to me to play Lili once she begins to discover herself.”

Many people who watch the film will be stunned by the transformation that you as an actor make in portraying Einar and then Lili. How did you approach the challenge of playing both those selves of the same individual?

It was more difficult to discover and understand Lili when she was living as Einar. It was much more obvious to me to play Lili once she begins to discover herself and so I needed to work my way backwards to how she was as Einar and dealing with the anxiety and inner turbulence that came with that.

One of the keys to my preparation were the drawings of Lili when she was living as a man that showed her in tight, tailored suits with these very high, starched collars. She had been born into a society that had led her to encase herself in a masculine exoskeleton and my challenge was to be able to show this process of unraveling. For me, that was the core of the film’s narrative and I had to be careful not to present it as an epiphany, but more as Lili’s determination to become the person she wanted to be and not hide behind this masculine scaffolding and self that society required her to wear.

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Was it awkward being on the set day in and day out in the guise of a woman?

It leaves you feeling very exposed and vulnerable. The set itself felt very safe when I [walked] around as Lili, but there was still this sense of people watching you and feeling judged. Imagine what it must be like for trans women who are constantly facing such judgement, as well as discrimination and violence in many cases.

That experience helped me understand and appreciate — in a limited way — the terrific anxiety that Lili must have experienced in a time where society was very intolerant and had little capacity to understand trans people. Even 100 years later, we have a lot of progress left to make when it comes to the discrimination and stigma that society still attaches to the trans community. I hope that our film will create more awareness and help bring more understanding and acceptance.

In the course of your performance, there’s a moment in the film where you strip naked and your character is staring at himself in the mirror.

Were you apprehensive about that scene?

Of course! Very few actors are comfortable appearing naked whether it’s a scene like that or where you’re naked in bed for a sex scene with someone you may only have met a few days earlier. You need to overcome your own fear or sense of embarrassment and accept that this is part of your job. It’s the nature of acting to be willing to expose yourself emotionally and physically.

Eddie lives in London with his wife, Hannah Bagshawe. Next year, he’ll be seen as Newt Scamander in J.K. Rowling’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

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OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 17

HIGHLIGH

45 YEARS OF L

BERL IN S

FROM ACTIVISM TO POP CULTURE, the LGBT community has gotten a lot

if we can’t take you back down Memory Lane, old schoolers, or paint a historical

THE 1970S

As Stonewall happened in the summer of ’69, LGBT America rolled into the 1970s ready for a fight. Tired of being shamed by the media, legally oppressed by politicians, and ostracized from their own families, the community locked arms in solidarity and said, “Enough.” The fight for civil rights was on.

#1

The song of 1970 was Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel

19 70

19 71

What later became Pride, the first Gay Liberation Day March is held in NYC and LA.

Average cost of a gallon of gas:

36¢

Colorado and Oregon repeal sodomy laws.

DR. FRANK KAMENY

In DC, Dr. Frank Kameny becomes the first openly gay candidate for Congress.

The US Libertarian Party denounces victimless crime laws, sodomy among them.

The University of Michigan establishes the “Gay Advocates Office,” the first US collegiate office for the community.

TS FROM

GBT PROGRESS YLVESTRE

done over the past few decades. Let’s break down our advancements and see mural in your minds, young ones.

19 72

Michigan and California become the first two states to have cities with homosexual rights ordinances.

The University of Buffalo offers Lesbianism 101, the first course on gay ladies in the US.

of Friends on Bisexuality issues the “Ithaca Statement on Bisexuality” in support of bisexuals.

A Quaker group called the Committee

Stonewall Nation, the first “gay anthem,” is

19 73

The American Psychiatric Association removes homosexuality from its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

#1

The song of 1973 was Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Ole Oak Tree by Dawn feat. Tony Orlando

written and recorded

by Madeline Davis and is produced on 45 rpm records.

Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is formed.

PFLAG 1972

19 74

Ann Arbor, MI becomes the first US city with an openly gay city council member.

The Bisexual Forum is founded in NYC.

19•••

IN THE

BEGINNING ...

IN JANUARY 1973, a tour bus with dark windows pulls up beside the Capitol, Denver’s most popular

evening cruising site. The bus has no destination, simply a marquee that says “Johnny Cash Special.”

The driver climbs out and stands outside, smoking and casting furtive looks to the other men in the park, some of whom are also smoking, having just left the bars. One of them gradually shuffles up to the bus.

“Check this out,” the driver tells him, “I have tickets in here to a Johnny Cash show, and this bus will take you there. You interested?”

The man climbs in, and the conversation takes a turn: “Hey, so I’m wondering, what’s going down tonight?”

“What?”

“You know what I mean. Where’s the action? I’m looking for some.

Are you interested in anything?”

“Well, yeah, maybe.”

Suddenly, two policemen, handcuffs and guns in tow, charge from the back of the bus. They arrest the man, drag him to the back, and command him to lie quietly until the end of the night, so they can repeat the process.

In the first three months of 1973, 380 gay men were arrested in the Johnny Cash bus operation, led by the Denver Police Department vice squad. Colorado was the third state in the US to repeal its anti-sodomy laws in 1972, but police were still invoking the criminal code to target queer people, prosecuting them most commonly under the charge of “making a lewd offer.” Here, simply agreeing to a proposition from one of the members of vice squad was grounds for arrest, fines, and a criminal record. Though private acts of sex were officially decriminalized, as activist Lynn Tamlin argued to the Denver City Council in 1973, “private conversations are illegal in the city and county of Denver. Private conversations that have sexual connotations are illegal.”

Tamlin’s partner Jerry Gerash, a 39-year-old lawyer who had come to Denver in 1968 for law school, was furious. In addition to lewdness, the laws allowed police to arrest men for crossdressing, cruising,

•••20

or renting a hotel room for gay sex. Some men had been arrested just for slow dancing or kissing. As a Jew, Gerash had grown up hearing about anti-Semitism from his parents. He also understood the power of grassroots organizing, participating in direct actions with the feminist, Civil Rights, anti-Vietnam, and American Indian movements. Though the Stonewall Riots were four years earlier, no one in Denver was organizing around gay liberation. “When people are beaten down,” he tells me, “it makes police work very easy.” Gerash began to search for allies, and when Tamlin came home from Metro State saying he had met an amazing politically conscious lesbian named Jane Dundee, the Denver Gay Coalition began to take shape.

Initially only five members, the Denver Gay Coalition began a campaign to repeal the criminal code. In an age without cell phones, internet, or even answering machines, they organized through publishing leaflets, calling councilmen, hosting lectures, organizing press conferences, and sending a speaker’s bureau to various schools and universities around the metro. They hosted a weekend coffeehouse called Approaching Lavender as an alternative to the bar scene. (Some say most Denver bars actually did not support gay liberation because it was diverting energy away from drinking.) Membership grew so that average meeting attendance was between 30–40, and the mailing list had over 100 names.

“We came out of hiding,” Gerash tells me. “We were underground.

What a hell of a feeling that is. It was a thrilling time to be alive, not only ourselves individually; we felt we were changing — we did change the community. We actually created a movement in the gay community that had not existed before.”

Their work culminated in late 1973 with a discrimination lawsuit against the city as well as an organized protest. On Oct. 23, 1973,

Though Stonewall Riots was four “ years earlier, no one in Denver was organizing around gay liberation.

‘When people are beaten down, it makes police work very easy,’ Gerash says.

”

over 300 gays, lesbians, and allies gathered and demanded City Council repeal the criminal code. Gerash remembers that “the owner of The Door closed his bar down the night of the hearing saying, ‘Get your asses down to the City Council. There’s going to be a big gay hearing.’ The Council chambers were standing room only — 36 people had prepared speeches, and the Council President gave the Gay Coalition 30 minutes to make its case.

When wild applause broke out after the first speaker, the President threatened anyone who disrupted the proceedings with arrest and immediate dismissal.

Though 30 minutes had passed, the speeches kept coming, sometimes accusatory and angry, but always impassioned and logical. The group began to clap for speakers, then to cheer, and no one was arrested. The council seemed to becoming more receptive, especially once Gerash showed them definitively the truly “obscene” statistic — 100 percent of those arrested on grounds of lewdness were gay men and over 99 percent of these were not initiated by the public, but from the police. The meeting continued from 10pm to 1am, extended at the suggestion of Councilmen William Roberts and Irving Hook. Gerash hypothesizes that Roberts, a black man, and Hook, a Jewish man, were more urgent to address discrimination since they had experienced it themselves.

After the hearing, Gerash and a small band of friends celebrated at a diner called Old Grist Mill. Dale Bentley, the owner of a San Francisco bath house, handed him a wad of cash to further the work of the Gay Coalition. This donation would help them open their first resource center. The momentum was strong: Three weeks after the protest, on Nov. 12, the council repealed two of the four laws, and on Nov. 19, they repealed the final two. Gerash also won his suit against the city in 1974, halting police oppression and discrimination of gays. In 1975, Gerash convinced gay and lesbian groups to form a new group, Unity, to create a community center. After two years, Unity grew from eight to 39 groups and the Gay Community Center of Colorado (now, the GBLT Community Center) opened its doors. “We were the only city that got laws repealed as a result of a protest,” Gerash explains. “We got relief from oppression, and we galvanized more people to the notion of gay liberation and no longer being so fearful.”

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 21

#1

The song of 1976 was Wings by Silly Love Songs.

19 75

Homosexuality is legalized in California.

Minneapolis becomes the first city in the US to pass trans-inclusive civil rights protection legislation.

A Connecticut court finds that substantial state interest must be demonstrated to deny a change in sex recorded on a birth certificate.

19 76

Indiana decriminalizes private consensual homosexual acts between adults.

The city council of Los Angeles prohibits employment discrimination by the city based on sexual orientation.

19 79

The first National March on Washington for homosexual rights march takes place in DC. MARCH ON WASHINGTON

Median Household Income for 1974:

$11,800

HARVEY MILK

19 78

Then-governor Ronald Reagan of California helps defeat the state’s Prop 6, a ballot initiative that would prevent gays and lesbians from becoming teachers, by speaking out against it.

THE 1980S

Motivated by the recent assassination of Harvey Milk and encouraged by a strong foundation for political revolution, the LGBT gang slathered on more elbow grease and battled on.

19 80

The Democratic Rules Committee takes a nondiscrimination stance against homosexuality, meaning the Democrats become the first political party to endorse a gay-rights platform.

19 81

The Billy DeFrank Lesbian and Gay Community Center, the first of its kind, opens in San Jose, California.

Average cost of a gallon of gas:

•••22

$1.25

19 82

Wisconsin becomes the first US state to outlaw sexualorientation discrimination.

The first Gay Games is held in San Francisco, attracting 1600 participants.

PHOTO BY JIM KELLY-EVANS

Dade County, FL cranks up the first human rights ordinance.

The earliest known lesbian-feminist BDSM organization, Samois, is founded in San Francisco.

dozens of gay men in mental institutions in the 1950s.

19 77

Harvey Milk becomes the first-elected public official after he wins as city-county supervisor of San Francisco.

The rainbow flag becomes the symbol of the movement.

Iowa repeals its “sexual psychopath” law. Passed in the wake of a moral panic following the 1954 rape and murder of a young boy, the law had been used to detain

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 23

19 87

19 83

Massachusetts Representative Gerry Studds reveals he is a homosexual on the floor of the House, becoming the first openly homosexual member of Congress.

#1

The song of 1983 was Every Breath You Take by The Police.

19 84

Harvey Milk High holds its first class in NYC.

GERRY STUDDS

19 86

FTM is formed, the leading advocacy group for femaleto-male transgender individuals.

Austin, TX passes an ordinance that prohibits discrimination against people with HIV or AIDS.

HARVEY MILK HIGH

#1

The song of 1986 was That’s What Friends Are For by Dionne and Friends.

•••24

Transgender woman Sandy Stone publishes The Empire Strikes Back: A Posttranssexual Manifesto, in response to the anti-transsexual book Transsexual Empire. The work is considered the origin of transgender studies.

Congressman Barney Frank comes out.

Massachusetts voters reelect representative Gerry Studds, despite revealing himself as homosexual the year before.

19 85

The second National March on Washington takes place, later being called “The Great March” for its sheer size and overall success.

GREAT MARCH ON WASHINGTON

19 88

The World Health Organization organizes the first World AIDS Day. National Coming Out Day is founded.

19 89

4500 protestors in NYC show up for “Stop the Church,” acting out against the Roman Catholic Archdiocese’s stance against condoms, abortion, and AIDS education.

Long Beach, Los Angeles, and Columbus, Ohio adopt ordinances that ban sexual-orientation discrimination in the private sector.

THE 1990S

Longtime Denver-resident and activist Tea Schook would characterize the 90s as a time of renewal.

“Reagan’s war on gay men was nearly over,” she reminisces. “ACT UP [AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power] had started and was energizing fellas like it was 1972. Women had taken over leadership of the institutions founded in 70s and we were not relinquishing those roles so a more equal coownership of our freedom movement evolved. In the 90s, we learned to act politically. We developed allies in other disengaged communities.”

#1

The song of 1990 was Hold On by Wilson Phillips.

Such as?

“People of color. In Denver we courted black, Asian, and Native groups. We found activist religious leaders and linked with them. We brought women’s groups to our cause — prochoice, women’s rights.

Lesbians were already in those organizations so it was a little easier to get the support. We got our friends elected to office and then we started running. We learned to leverage those relationships to gain legal status. And then the Supreme Court gave us a huge win in the mid-90s [with Amendment 2].”

PHOTO BY LEE SNIDER/CORBIS

AIDS MEMORIAL QUILT OCTOBER 1987

Average cost of a gallon of gas:

19 90

$1.16

President George Bush signs the Ryan White Care Act, a federally funded program for people living with AIDS.

SOUTHERN COMFORT CONFERENCE 1991

preeminent of transfocused conference in the US.

19 91

The Southern Comfort Conference, a major trans event, takes place for the first time. It’s the largest, most famous, and

RYAN WHITE

The Department of Defense issues a directive prohibiting the military from denying applicants from service based on their sexual orientation — but only if they’re closeted. Out

Transgender Nation is formed in San Francisco.

19 99

Nancy Katz becomes the first openly-lesbian judge in the state of Illinois.

The National Transgender Advocacy Coalition is founded.

California adopts a domestic partnership law.

Boeing begins offering domestic partner health benefits.

•••26

A red ribbon becomes the symbol of awareness and compassion for those living with HIV/AIDS.

19 93

19 92

NANCY KATZ

A Wall Street Journal survey found that gay Americans were 3x more likely to be college graduates, 3x more likely to hold professional or

managerial positions, and typically make $30k more per year than the average American.

19 98

Gender identity is added to PFLAG’s mission, making it the first national LGBT organization to officially adopt a trans-inclusive policy for its work.

gays need not apply.

The policy is referred to as Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).

An estimated 1M people show up for the The March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation in DC.

Karen Kopriva of Illinois becomes the first American teacher to transition on the job.

The Transgender Day of Remembrance is founded to memorialize the murder of transgender woman Rita Hester.

#1

The song of 1994 was The Sign

by Ace of Base.

19 94

The American Medical Association denounces supposed “cures” for homosexuality.

19 95

All the national transgender organizations get together to form GenderPAC, the first national political advocacy organization devoted to the right to one’s gender identity.

The Transgender Historical Society is founded.

19 96

LESLIE FEINBERG

Leslie Feinberg publishes Transgender Warriors, a history of transgender people.

The Supreme Court decides that Colorado’s 2nd amendment, denying gays and lesbians protections against discrimination, is unconstitutional.

19 97

Ellen DeGeneres’ character Ellen Morgan comes out as gay and is seen by 42 million viewers.

ELLEN DEGENERES

Same-sex couples in New Jersey are given the right to jointly adopt children.

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 27

THE 2000S

Leading up to the 00s, anti-gay rhetoric polarized the nation as certain presidential hopefuls used their opposition to samesex marriage as lynchpins for their campaigns. Unfortunately, it worked. Regardless, the momentum would not be slowed, and with so many victories underway for the LGB community, the T proved that it was not silent.

20 03

Both the National Center for Transgender Equality and the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA) are founded.

20 01

Massachusetts becomes the first state to perform same-sex marriages.

The Transgender Foundation of America is formed.

Theresa Sparks becomes the first openly transgender woman ever named “Woman of the Year” by the California State Assembly.

Average cost of a gallon of gas:

The Supreme Court rules that sodomy laws in the US are unconstitutional.

$1.41

20 00

The Transgender Historical Society donates their collection of historical materials to the University of Michigan.

Vermont becomes the first state in the US to legalize civil unions and registered partnerships between same-sex couples.

•••28

THERESA SPARKS

20 02

New York bans sexual orientation discrimination in the private sector, while Alaska bans it in the public sector.

PFLAG establishes its Transgender Network (TNET) as its “special affiliate,” taking on the same privileges and responsibilities for the trans community as it has for the gay and lesbian community in its original chapters.

Five members of the trans community present at the LGBTI Health Summit in Boulder, marking the first time trans, bi, and intersex people are recognized as co-equal partners on the national level rather than being gay and lesbian “allies” or tokens.

#1

The song of 2005 was We Belong Together by Mariah Carey.

Median Household Income for 2002:

$42,409

EVE ENSLER, AUTHOR OF VAGINA MONOLOGUES

The first all-transgender performance of the Vagina Monologues was held. The monologues were read by eighteen notable transgender women, and a new monologue revolving around the experiences and struggles of transgender women was included.

20 04

San Francisco holds the first-ever Trans March, now a major part of Pride celebrations in many major cities.

Massachusetts becomes the first state to legalize same-sex marriage.

20 05

Transgender activist Pauline Park becomes the first openly transgender person chosen to be grand marshal of the New York City Pride March, the oldest and largest LGBT pride event in the US. The American Psychiatric Association votes to support governmentrecognized marriages between same-sex partners.

ALEXANDRA BILLINGS

Alexandra Billings becomes the first openly transgender woman to play a transgender character on TV. It was in the made-for-TV movie Romy and Michele: A New Beginning.

20 06

Kim Coco Iwamoto is elected to the Hawaii Board of Education, making her at that time the highest ranking openly transgender elected official in the United States, as well as the first openly transgender official to win statewide office.

KIM COCO IWAMOTO

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DC bans gender identity discrimination in the private sector.

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20 07

Actress Candis Cayne plays a transgender woman on ABC’s Dirty Sexy Money, making her the first openly transgender actress to play a recurring transgender character on primetime TV. The Soulforce Equality Ride visits 32 schools in the US that ban enrollment of openly-gay students.

#1

The song of 2008 was Low by Flo Rida feat.

T-Pain.

Colorado bans gender-identity and sexual-orientation discrimination in the private sector.

Theresa Sparks (see 2003) is elected president of the San Francisco Police Commission by a single vote, making her the first openly transgender person ever to be elected president of any San Francisco commission, as well as San Francisco’s highest ranking openly transgender official.

20 08

Domestic partnerships in Oregon begin.

Connecticut overturns its same-sex marriage ban.

Trans historian and pioneer Cristan Williams donates her personal collection to the Transgender Foundation of America, where it becomes the first collection in the Transgender Archive, an archive of transgender history worldwide.

SOULFORCE EQUALITY RIDE

President Obama signs a Presidential Memorandum allowing same-sex partners of federal employees to receive certain benefits.

The Matthew Shepard Act is passed by Congress and signed into law by President Obama.

20 09

The Committee on Lesbian and Gay History, an affiliated society of the American Historical Association, changes its name to the Committee on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender History.

Average cost of a gallon of gas: CRISTAN WILLIAMS

#1

PRESIDENTIAL MEMORANDUM

The song of 2010 was TiK ToK

by Ke$ha.

THE 2010S

•••30

The 10s are characterized by a windfall of legislation throughout our country that propped the gay and lesbian community up for legally recognized marriage. As well, major gains in the transgender community enjoyed a domino effect that we’re still experiencing.

$2.90

20 10

A federal judge in San Francisco decides that gays and lesbians have the constitutional right to marry.

Phyllis Frye becomes Texas’ first openly transgender judge.

The governor of New York signs a bill into law allowing unmarried couples, including same-sex couples, to adopt, and replaces the term “husband and wife” with the gender-neutral “married couple.”

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20 14

The Supreme Court denies appeal requests from five states seeking to prohibit same-sex marriage.

CHAZ BONO

20 11

Chaz Bono becomes a highly visible transgender celebrity when he appears on Dancing With The Stars, making it the first time an openly transgender man has been on a major network show for something unrelated to being transgender.

New York State passes the Marriage Equality Act The US Dept. of State issues passport applications that ask for “Mother or Parent One” and “Father or Parent Two” instead of for “Father” and “Mother,” to be more inclusive of different types of families.

Laverne Cox becomes the first openly transgender person on the cover of TIME Magazine.

Later that year, she becomes the first openly transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy in an acting category.

20 12

Mills College becomes the first single-sex college in the country to adopt a policy explicitly welcoming openly transgender students.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is officially repealed.

Civil unions get started in Delaware and Hawaii.

For the first time in American history, two school districts (one in FL, one in CA) celebrate LGBT History Month.

Average cost of a gallon of gas:

$2.48

20 13

JASON COLLINS

Colorado legalizes samesex civil unions.

Jason Collins becomes the first openly gay NBA player, penning his coming out story for Sports Illustrated.

•••32

Same-sex marriage is legalized in Colorado after the State Supreme Court lifts injunctions against three county clerks. Attorney General John Suthers orders all 64 county clerks to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

20 15

The Supreme Court declares the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional.

The Supreme Court declares same-sex marriage the law of the land.

The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders eliminates the term “gender identity disorder,” which was considered stigmatizing, instead referring to “gender dysphoria,” which focuses attention only on those who feel distressed by their gender identity.

The Pentagon announces it will allow transgender personnel to serve openly in the US military, starting in 2016.

CAITLYN JENNER

There’s only room for so much in our pages, so we welcome any additions to the timeline at OutFrontOnline.com.

Olympian Caitlyn Jenner (formerly Bruce Jenner) comes out in a television interview as a transgender woman.

DENVER’S BEST PAITO Soak up some sun, sip on a cocktail, and enjoy a juicy burger on Denver's best patio!

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 33

ASK A SLUT [WARNING: GRAPHIC]

I gave up on secular activity long ago. This year, my parents have invited me and my new boyfriend to spend the holiday. The catch is, I have to go to Midnight Mass with them. What should I do?

Signed, MASSLESS CHAP Bea: Just remind them the bars don’t close until 2am. You can’t be in two places at the same time ... well, depends on how long your tongue is, but that’s a different question.

Zoey: Go to mass and be pleasant to all of your folks’ friends. Then, during communion, you can ask for a wine list and propose during the Hallelujah chorus. It should liven up the evening.

Latexa: Midnight Mass is a great time to catch up on Candy Crush or imbibe from a flask. If your parents catch you, just remind them they made you. Go, “This is what you get when you force me to do something I don’t want to do!” Just say it with a smile — after all, you are in a church.”

Cookie: Put on your assless chaps before services and they won’t take you with them, thereby giving you time alone in the house. Duh!

JackLynn: Depends, what do you think they’ll get you for Christmas? Is it worth an hour of your time going to church? Besides, you might meet up with one of those priests.

I’m a tall gurl and found the cutest heels for my office Christmas party. I don’t care about the height, but I’m bringing a hottie to the party who’s already about 8 inches shorter than me.

Does it matter?

Signed, TALL DRINK OF EGGNOG Bea: Gurl, you are preaching to the queer! With my hair and heels, I’m hitting an easy 8’, so everyone is short to me. Gurl, be a proud tree and let the 34 DECEMBER 16, 2015

hottie climb and bounce on you like a monkey on a stick. (That’s for my momma.)

Zoey: Tell anyone who comments that your little jockey is hung like a horse — that’s the only size that matters.

Latexa: You’ll be boob height, so just keep rubbing those puppies in his face in front of all those people.

The guys will be jealous and no one will notice that he’s short — in fact, they’ll all be looking for tall gurls!

Cookie: If you don’t mind that every time he faces you, he’s muff diving in front of everyone there, then, no: It shouldn’t matter. Amazons are in again.

Be proud of your stature and free sniffs from him.

(Just make sure you’re spring fresh.)

JackLynn: So with the heels, he’ll be the perfect height to snuggle those titties. What’s the problem.

What’s the safest thing to eat at my family function that I won’t gain weight from, but will give the appearance that I’m eating well? My family says I’m too thin.

Signed, NOT PLUMPING UP LIKE THE REST OF THEM Bea: Ice has no calories, but the stuff that makes them melt can cause the truth to flow. Just be careful.

Zoey: Tell everyone you’re on a protein diet, then let your hot uncles and cousins know you’re a c*ck-sucking whore and take them on one at a time.

Latexa: Eat anything you want, just remember to go to the bathroom once an hour and puke! It’s what all the pretty girls are doing and it works.

Cookie: If it’s green, it goes in; if it is brown, put it down. No, really. Shut up. If you all plump up together, perspectives never change. Think about it.

JackLynn: There’s always bulimia ...

CGRA ROYALTY CONTEST The Colorado Gay Rodeo Association’s Night of Sharing and 2016 Royalty Contest was held at Charlie’s on December 5th. Festivities included a VIP reception, performances, presentation of checks to charity partners, and the 2016 royalty contest.

Congratulations to Yolanda Deherrera, Miss CGRA 2016.

Photos by Charles Broshous

OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 35

H E I N ZES I G H T

LIAR LIAR Brent Heinze, Senior Columnist HEY, BRENT, I DON’T UNDERSTAND IT. I WAS DATING THIS GUY FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS AND THEN FOUND OUT THAT NOT ONLY HAS HE BEEN HITTING UP GUYS ONLINE TO GET OFF, BUT HE MAY HAVE ALSO LIED ABOUT HIS HIV STATUS. HE CAME ACROSS SO SWEET AND I FELT REALLY SPECIAL, BUT UNFORTUNATELY I THINK HE WAS BEING TOTALLY DISHONEST. WHY DO PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE THIS, AND HOW DO I GET BETTER AT RECOGNIZING LIARS? I don’t think there’s a single answer to why some gay men in the community choose to be underhanded and deceitful.

This is especially frustrating to people who enter into a relationship with the best of intentions and an open heart.

Strangely enough, some of these people spend an exorbitant amount of energy creating empty promises and false realities to snag an unsuspecting Nice Guy. Even when confronted, these people will stick to their guns and claim they were misunderstood instead of owning up to their behaviors. They may attribute their attempts to get laid to just having a “flirty personality.” They might claim it was just innocent “playing around” and that they never intended to pursue their verbal fantasy. Regardless, they’re playing a game. They’re playing a game with your physical and emotional health.

There are people who struggle with self-worth and get some twisted thrill out of taking advantage of others, like they have some control over them. Sometimes the smoothest talkers are also the ones covering up some very sneaky behaviors. Think of a used car salesman who takes advantage of an innocent, naïve consumer by selling a sexy-looking clunker. There are times when someone’s desire to get what they want overshadows being a thoughtful, honest person.

36 DECEMBER 16, 2015

Sometimes the smoothest talkers are also the ones covering up some very sneaky behaviors.

It’s important to watch how much our heart is influencing our brain and thought processes. Emotions can create some amazingly wonderful feelings, but they also have the potential to make us blind to important things. There are also times when our genitals seem to have control over our logical minds as well. My friend calls it being “dick-matized” ... when we are so enamored with someone that we either aren’t aware of or actively ignore their glaring shortcomings. Regardless, overlooking concerning behaviors can lead us into being taken advantage of.

Another thing to keep in mind is the old adage, “talk is cheap.”

If someone makes plans to do something, it’s important for them to also maintain good communication and follow through.

Promising to call or remembering an important event carries a lot of weight in building trust in a relationship. Tearing a good connection apart doesn’t take much, especially at the beginning. Be aware when small or large promises aren’t fulfilled or someone’s follow through doesn’t happen. A million apologies don’t make up for being an unreliable flake.

Be aware of these concerns, but don’t let a few jerks keep you from staying hopeful. Visualizing what we want is an important part of discovering what we hope to gain from a partner and our lives. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about how wonderful things could end up, but be aware of where the imagination ends and reality needs to take over. The development, planning, and execution of a plan to develop a beautiful, stable relationship is more than just hoping things will work out. It also needs to be based in reality with the right person.

2015 RED BALL The 2015 Red Ball was held at the EXDO Event Center on November 29th. The annual event is a cutting-edge runway experience used to raise awareness for World AIDS Day and to support the Denver Colorado AIDS Project. The Red Ball blends high-end fashion from a number of local designers, innovative and outrageous hairstyles from over a dozen local salons, and exquisite makeup artistry to produce an evening of style and flair. Festivities also included a cocktail reception, entertainers, and a silent auction.

Photos by Charles Broshous

MARQUEE THE ADDAMS FAMILY A NEW MUSICAL COMEDY

November 21, 2015 – February 27, 2016 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • BDTStage.com OUTFRONTONLINE.COM 37

CALE NDA R

B ROUG HT TO YOU BY THE D E NV E R GAY & L ESB I AN C HAM B E R OF CO M M E RC E

DEC 19

TACKY LIGHTS COMEDY TOUR

@ DENVER R ELI EF • 1 BROADWAY, A15 0 • DEN V ER • 5 P M Timmi Lasley hosts the first-ever Tacky Light Comedy Tour. Roll with a bus tour, shopping, dinner, and live comedy. Use Promo Code OUTFRONT to save $40 off your ticket. Head to Facebook. com/TackyLightComedyTour for more.

DEC 19

DEC 31

A NIGHT IN VIENNA

Wishes shes i W safe, happy

@ BOET TCHER CON CERT HA L L , DPAC • 6. 30P M Kick off NYE early with A Night In Vienna, a Viennese style concert of waltzes, marches, and polkas brought to you by the Colorado Symphony. When the concert lets out, walk down to 16th Street Mall for the fireworks display.

you & yours

you & Lyours HO I D AY S E A S O N JOIN safe, US AT OUR EVENTS happy NEXT YEAR!

H O L I D AY S E A S O N

JOIN US AT OUR EVENTS NEXT YEAR! For all our upcoming yearly events, visit DENVERGLC.ORG

38 DECEMBER 16, 2015

RENEWABLE ENERGY

@ FA I RWAY V I LLAS CLU BHOUS E • 5223 ESPA NA ST • DEN VER Energy from renewable sources (solar, wind, geothermal, hydro, etc) are an important part of the future of energy in the US and the world.

The issues involved are complex, involving technical challenges, economic issues, as well as environmental, political, and social factors. Join Active Minds as they survey the current state of renewable energy and look at the various forces that will influence how these resources will evolve in the future, all for free.

DEC 30-31

DECADENCE

@ CO CONVENTION CENTER • DENVER Let’s drop some names of folks who’ll be tearing up the Convention Center for two nights down at Decadence and see if that does the trick: Bassnectar, Gramatik, Jack U Dabin, Figure, The Floozies, Galantis, Hot Since 82, JackLNDN, Salva, UZ, What So Not, Deadmau5, Excision, Hardwell, Odesza, Black Tiger Sex Machine, Jai Wolf, Matthew Koma, Son of Kick, and more. It’s America’s biggest NYE dance party and it’s gonna be insane.

DEC 31

THRU JAN 03

DENVER ZOO LIGHTS For the non-party animals among us (lookin’ at you stodgy old couples in their 30s who are entertaining the nieces and nephews this year which is actually really cute and we’re totally not judging), might we recommend Zoo Lights? Spanning 70+ acres, this annual event showcases over 150 animated animal sculptures, choirs, live animals, meet/greets with Santa, and more.

THRU FEB 27

1ST WEDNESDAY

LESBIAN MOMS SUPPORT GROUP NIGHT BAZAAR

@ 245 0 LAR IME R ST • DENVER The best places to find truly unique gifts come from hidden crafthouses that make one-of-a-kind items that last. Instead of braving the traffic, handle that holiday shopping at the Night Bazaar and swipe that card to live music. Bonus: Beer!

@ T RACKS • 9 P M • $15 • 21+ What happens at Tracks … might end up in an OUT FRONT pictorial, boo, so try and behave just a little. Or don’t. With a champagne toast and a $2000 cash-balloon drop at midnight — along with plenty of time to plan and you’re welcome — Tracks is hookin’ you up this year.

Drag Race Season Six’s Adore Delano is in the beautified house, so you know it’s on and poppin’.

@ T HE FAM I LY ROOM • WHEAT RIDGE • 6–7PM One of two new LGBTQ community spaces that provide for LGBTQ families in Colorado, the group aims for more safe and inclusive spaces for our CO families outside of Denver.

THRU FEB 16

SOUTHWEST RINK AT SKYLINE

TRACKS NYE: SIN CITY

@ S KY LIN E PAR K • 16T H + A RA PA H OE • DENVER When’s the last time you busted your ass in style? You know we got you. Sashay on down to 16th and Arapahoe to Southwest Rink at Skyline Park. Bring your own skates or $2 to rent some. Also: Bring that hemorrhoid pillow, ‘cause they don’t rent those out.

SUNDAYS

RECOVERY SUNDAYS

@ X BAR • 629 E COLFAX AV E • DEN VER • N OON –5 P M Be real: When you think of curing your hangover on Sunday morning, your mind goes immediately to a brunch patio with a bunch of other temple-rubbing, miserably groaning, day-after zombies. Shake it up this weekend and get the proper type of hydration while you work on your next hangover. Drip Dr will be on-hand to administer intravenous rejuvenation to snap you back into shape.

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H EA LT H

DUELING WITH DEPRESSION: IF THIS ISN’T NICE, I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS Mike Yost

Finding the right therapist is a bit like dating. It’s expensive, awkward, and most nights you end up alone on the couch thinking about what you really should have said.

I HAVEN’T HAD A LOT OF DECENT EXPERIENCES WITH THERAPISTS. Maybe it’s just bad luck, maybe it’s my caustic sarcasm. But most of the therapists I’ve worked with (though not all) have provided little-to-no help in my ceaseless melee with clinical depression.

One of the best examples of mindfulness comes from one of the greatest authors of the 20th century. If you’ve never read Kurt Vonnegut’s masterpiece, Slaughterhouse-Five, stop reading this article immediately and pick up a copy. Go now.

Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

There was this one well-intentioned therapist who kept repeating talking points from books on how to handle depression and anxiety — the same books I’ve read myself, without costing me $100 an hour.

(Are you back? Amazing novel, isn’t it?)

Then there was the therapist who not only forgot to turn off his cell phone during a session, but replied to a text while I was attempting to explain how vacuous and isolated I feel all the time.

I think finding the right therapist is a bit like dating. It’s expensive, very awkward the first couple of times you meet, and most nights you just end up alone on the couch thinking about what you really should have said, all while devouring a pint of dark chocolate gelato in your boxers in front of a flickering television with Simpsons reruns playing on mute.

(Or is that just me?)

But there was one therapist who introduced me to an invaluable tool I use often, especially during those weeks when depression claws its way deep into my brain, embedding itself into my skull while feeding greedily on the scant morsels of sanity I have left.

And that tool is mindfulness.

42 DECEMBER 16, 2015

Kurt Vonnegut, who fought a lifelong battle with depression and even attempted suicide, fictionalized and satirized his experiences as a prisoner of war during World War II. He was 22 years old when his entire division was captured by the Germans. In February of 1945, a month after his imprisonment in Dresden, the British Royal Air Force dropped 4000 tons of explosives and incendiaries on the municipality.

The bombing and ensuing firestorm killed an estimated 25,000 people — most of them civilians.

By sheer luck, Vonnegut and the other POWs were being held captive in an underground slaughterhouse, the structure of which protected them from the booming bombs and swirling funnels of fire that engulfed the city.

After the air raid, Vonnegut emerged into a landscape of rubble and burnt bodies littering the streets. He and the other POWs were tasked with digging out the corpses and piling them up in large pyres. Angry survivors of the bombings threw stones at them while they worked.

Soon, the acrid smell of scorched, decaying flesh began to overwhelm the entire metropolis, and the corpses were incinerated with flamethrowers where they lay. No effort was made to identify the dead. No one to notify next of kin.

Thousands lost forever as statistics in history books.

So it goes.

When Vonnegut returned to the US, his Uncle Dan slapped him on the back and declared, “You’re a man now.” Vonnegut hated his Uncle Dan. But he also had Uncle Alex, who didn’t ask about the war or about the bombs or the fire or all the young men he knew who never made it back home to their own families. Instead, Uncle Alex took Vonnegut out for a picnic one gorgeous summer day. It was on that day that Vonnegut learned the importance of mindfulness. “[Uncle Alex’s] principal complaint about other human beings was that they so seldom noticed it when they were happy,” Vonnegut writes in his memoir, A Man without a Country. “So when we were drinking lemonade under an apple tree in the summer, say, and talking lazily about this and that, almost buzzing like honeybees, Uncle Alex would suddenly interrupt the agreeable blather to exclaim, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’”

Mindfulness is anchoring yourself in the now and absorbing the present to avoid ruminating about past traumas or obsessing about future uncertainties. One of the simplest techniques I use to ground myself is breathing exercises. I’ve made it a habit to just stop what I’m doing, take in a slow, deliberate breath, and hold it in while concentrating how the air feels in

my lungs right before I exhale slowly. Repeat until mindful.

Best of all, this technique doesn’t cost $100 an hour.

I’ll admit that when my therapist first told me about this, I did an internal eye roll. How the hell does concentrating on your breathing help with depression? The American Psychological Association published an article in 2012 outlining various empirical studies which support the claim that mindfulness has numerous health benefits for those struggling with depression.

“The researchers found that the participants who experienced mindfulness-based stress reduction,” the article reads, “had significantly less anxiety, depression, and somatic distress compared with the control group.”

One study with Chinese undergraduates demonstrated that “students who were randomly assigned to participate in a mindfulness meditation intervention had lower depression and anxiety, as well as less fatigue, anger, and stress-related cortisol compared to a control group.”

Depression is like a parasite, sucking away at the joyful moments in life, gorging on potential vivacity before it can surface. Even the experience of tasting ice-cold lemonade on a hot, summer day can somehow become dull and gloomy.

And so, on those melancholic days when, for example, I’m struggling just to enjoy a beer with a friend, I remind myself to take a deep breath, lift my glass, and repeat the advice of Vonnegut’s Uncle Alex: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”

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don’t need me to retread that ground.

But the Nolan defamation case testifies to just how desperate Sheen’s situation must have become that he felt he needed get his status out in the open — out into a public that, generally, still finds HIV+ people worth contempt, ridicule, aversion, and disgrace.

H EA LT H

HIV: YEP, IT’S STILL A THING Myles Helfand A FEW WEEKS AGO, IT BECAME OFFICIAL: HIV IS LOATHSOME. It all had started so innocently: Back in 2013, the New York State Division of Human Rights posted a public awareness ad that featured the image of a woman alongside the text I AM POSITIVE(+) and I HAVE RIGHTS. The intent was to inform people with HIV that the state’s laws protected them from discrimination.

The folks who created the ad grabbed the model’s photo from Getty Images, a stock photo service.

Only the model in that picture, Avril Nolan, didn’t have HIV, and she didn’t want anyone thinking she did. Heck, can you blame her? I hear people get unlawfully discriminated against for having that virus! Someone should put out an ad reminding folks about that.

Anyway, Nolan (and her lawyers) sued the state for defamation. In October, a New York State Court of Claims judge ruled that she was right, and that her lawsuit could continue.

as HIV positive would not be viewed as indicative of some failure of moral fiber, or of some communicable danger, however our society is not so advanced,” Judge Thomas H. Scuccimarra wrote in his decision. He added that the ad’s incorrect portrayal “that Ms. Nolan is presently diagnosed as HIV positive, from the perspective of the average person, clearly subjects her to public contempt, ridicule, aversion, or disgrace and constitutes defamation per se.”

In other words, this is where our society is at today, more than 30 years into our tumultuous relationship with HIV in the US: People are still afraid to be associated with the virus for fear they’ll be discriminated against — and that includes people who appear in ads informing the public that people with HIV can’t be discriminated against. My head hurts.

The judge was reasonable. The judge was rational. The judge was, let’s face it, realistic.

This is the awful environment in which Charlie Sheen decided to publicly disclose on Nov. 17 that he was one of well over a million people in the US, and one of roughly 35 million folks on the planet, who are living with a particular virus inside their bodies.

“It would be hoped that an indication that someone ... who has been diagnosed

You’ve already heard more than enough about Charlie Sheen lately; you probably

46 DECEMBER 16, 2015

Every Dec. 1, humanity marks World AIDS Day. We see HIV covered extensively on the web, in newspapers, on radio, and on TV. We witness public awareness events, testing campaigns, and speeches — at least one of which will have taken place somewhere pretty close to you, given that HIV affects every type of person in every region of the country (and the planet). Experts rattle off all sorts of big, sobering, scary numbers, and they talk about prevention, treatment, and the search for a cure. Politicians politicize, activists advocate, blowhards bloviate.

The efforts around World AIDS Day often seem shallow or pointless to many of us, and I’m sure a lot of them are. It’s easy for a grassroots movement to lose its sense of soul when its primary day of activism becomes a regularly scheduled event.

But let’s not forget what the point of all this is. The point is that having HIV doesn’t make someone a bad person.

Being a person living with HIV is not comparable to any other state of existence: You’re not a smoking gun, you’re not a car with no brakes, you’re not a ticking time bomb. You’re a person living with HIV, a treatable virus.

Avril Nolan shouldn’t feel like she has to sue somebody to avoid being associated with it. Charlie Sheen shouldn’t feel like he has to go on national TV and tell the world he has it so that people will stop blackmailing him.

Living with HIV isn’t loathsome; the way we treat people with HIV too often is. We need to do better — and we can, each of us, one person at a time.

Hopefully Avril Nolan and Charlie Sheen will help. Hopefully, one day soon, HIV anti-discrimination ads will be unnecessary; defamation lawsuits won’t need to happen; and the decision to disclose one’s HIV status in public will be a matter of personal preference, not compulsion.

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BAC KWO R DS

THE SCOPES SAGITTARIUS: Isn’t it nice to have your faith in humanity restored every once in awhile? Thing is, it doesn’t have to be every once in awhile. If you want to see the good in people, just change the way you’ve been regarding the little (but ultimately lovely) things that folks do.

GEMINI: You are not angry with others right now; you are angry with yourself. Be mindful of how sensitive you’re being to foes that aren’t there. When you lash out like you have been, you’re giving in to something you’ve worked hard to leave behind. Take a breath. It’s ok.

CAPRICORN: You’re back to your old ways again, Cappy — all work and no play. Perhaps that’s a good thing, but if you find yourself left out of all the party invites, it’s because people notice you don’t go anyway. Meh, right?

CANCER: You should remind yourself about haters, boo. You know what they do, so don’t let ’em throw a limp in that stride.

You just keep doin’ you and ride that hate-wave all the way to the bank. Watch: They’ll be the ones saying, “We believed in you all along!” when you hit it big. (Mmm-hmm.)

AQUARIUS: Diet schmiet. Who wants to go through life saying no to all its delicious little luxuries? (Certainly not you, and we dig that.) Pay no mind to the haters — you always look good and Christmas cookies aren’t gonna change that.

PISCES: It’s not fair to yourself to compare your pain to what others feel. You are completely allowed to mope and struggle with your issues, in spite of them seeming “small” next to other peoples’ plights. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to overcome.

LEO: You’re making so many people proud of you right now, which is befitting for a member of the pride. What’s more, you’ve learned a bit of humility along the way. Instead of getting puffed up over a compliment, you accept it with grace.

You’re getting better every year, Leo. VIRGO: So ... about that romanticizing what you had with your ex. (I know you betta don’t, child!) You’re making weak excuses for your ex’s bad behavior and forgetting that there’s a very real reason y’all broke it off. Remember the bad times before you repeat that disaster.

ARIES: What you’re up to lately is a big, fat, sneaky facade and you know it. They say fake it til ya make it, but trying to take down others to get there is just tacky. You’re better than that, Aries. Do it the right way.

LIBRA: You’re not responsible for the health and happiness of others, and don’t you for a second let people talk you into being their caretaker. That’s not your role. You can care about someone, but you can’t care for them, Libra. Remember that.

TAURUS: When are you gonna stop trying to “beautify” your life and start living it? The things you wanted to achieve when you were younger … take a look! You made it happen; enjoy it. Or just be wary of how much you love the chase itself, lest you find you never truly catch a thing.

SCORPIO: Now that you’ve given up those particularly awful habits, you’re finding so much more time in the day. (The fact that it gets dark so early? Just bad timing, but keep on keepin’ on.) Our suggestion: reading. Don’t roll your eyes! Grow that brain you’ve been neglecting!

50 DECEMBER 16, 2015

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