Will Marriage Stay Equal? Was it Ever? Hitched Goodie Guide Let Queer AF Engagement Party Help with the Gay Wedding of Your Dreams
Reality TV Shows: Addictive, Uplifting, or Problematic?
In Sickness and In Health
Hitched
indoor and outdoor fireplaces, patio furniture, roofing, gutters, storage systems, decks, spas, and more!
What Else to Look For
Master Gardeners from Colorado State University’s Cooperative Extension Service will answer gardening and horticulture-related questions for free. Look for them in their bright green aprons in the CSU Education Garden.
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ellco presents the 65th Colorado Garden & Home Show. This is the largest, oldest, and most prestigious consumer garden and home improvement show west of the Mississippi. It is the only consumer show produced by a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that contributes 100% of the proceeds from every ticket sold at the show to provide horticultural-related grants and scholarships to organizations and students across Colorado. The Colorado Garden Foundation transforms 400,000 square feet of Colorado Convention Center into a marketplace of garden and home improvement products. This year, the Colorado Garden Foundation will recognize its 65-year legacy with a grant ceremony, awarding more than $550,000 in grants to horticultural projects across the state, bringing the total contribution to date of scholarships and grants over the years to more than $13 million.
Inspiring Gardens
As in past years, the Colorado Garden & Home Show will showcase eight inspiring landscaped gardens, with this year’s Entry Garden featuring amazing water features and new, exciting outdoor products.
A Marketplace of Ideas
Visit the theater at the end of the 1200 aisle where there will be 40 educational seminars on a variety of topics, all covered with the cost of admission. Be sure to check out the beautiful gardens and get ideas, inspiration, and advice from more than 500 companies from 25 states that introduce new technologies in landscaping, gardening, energy-efficient heating and cooling products, windows and window treatments, siding, flooring, lighting,
Buy perennials for $2 per pot. On Wednesday, February 28, starting at noon, fading show flowers will be on sale to the public for $2 per pot with the proceeds going to the Arvada Rotary. Most of the potted flowers are perennials and are a great deal for those looking to add to their gardens, or to bring some fresh color into their homes.
Show Hours and Pricing: • • • • •
Saturdays, February 24 & March 2: 10 a.m. - 6 p.m., $15 adults / $12 seniors; Sundays, February 25 & March 3: 10 a.m. - 5 p.m., $15 adults / $12 seniors; Monday - Friday, February 26 – March 1: Noon - 6 p.m., 2 FOR 1 Admission; Children 12 and under are always free. Advance discount tickets are on sale at AXS.com
Sponsors
Bellco presents the 2024 Colorado Garden & Home Show sponsored by Mattress Firm, Scandinavian Designs and Carpet Mill Outlet Stores. Official suppliers include Basalite Concrete Products, Custom Decks, Exteriors Now, Groundworks, Lifetime Windows & Siding, NationScapes, ReNew Home Innovations, Stellar Painting & Remodeling, Team Dave Logan, and 5280 Home Magazine.
Contents
OFM Art
Volume 47 Number 11 February 2024
Table of 4 OFM FEBRUARY 2024
• Comic Strip • Word Search
06
From The Editor
07
OFM News
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• Will Marriage Stay Equal? Was it Ever?
OFM Culture • Let Queer AF Engagement Party Help with the Gay Wedding of Your Dreams • In Sickness and in Health
Photoshoot • Hitched
OFM Thoughts • Reality TV Shows: Addictive, Uplifting, or Problematic?
OFM Reviews • Hitched Goodie Guide
OFM Thoughts • February Horoscopes
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Feb 01-29 2024 SERVING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 PHONE 303-477-4000 WEB /OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM FACEBOOK /OUTFRONTCOLORADO INSTAGRAM /OUTFRONTMAGAZINE
FOUNDER
PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION INFO@OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM CO-PUBLISHER MAGGIE PHILLIPS CO-PUBLISHER ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER CHIEF STRATEGIST LANI LANGTON EDITORIAL EDITORIAL@OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER CELEBRITY CORRESPONDENT DENNY PATTERSON INTERNS ANNA LEE, BRYNNE POPP, CLAIRE SEONG, LYDIA MIRO, RASAI TRAMMELL WRITER PEN WATKINS ART ART@OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM DESIGNER IVY OWENS ASSISTANT DESIGNER LYDIA MIRO COVER IMAGE JULIUS GARRIDO FEATURED PHOTOGRAPHER KAYTE DEMONT & JULIUS GARRIDO CARTOONIST DYLAN EDWARDS WORD SEARCH KERRY SHATZER MARKETING + SALES MARKETING@OUTFRONTMAGAZINE.COM MEDIA ADVISOR AUSTIN SALLS MEDIA ADVISOR KATIE HARKINS DISTRIBUTION OFM’S PRINT PUBLICATION COMES OUT MONTHLY, FREE OF CHARGE, ONE COPY PER PERSON. ADDITIONAL
picks
The Must-Do 1
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COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY REPRODUCTION OF EDITORIAL, PHOTOGRAPHIC OR ADVERTISING CONTENT WITHOUT WRITTEN CONSENT OF THE PUBLISHER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. ADVERTISERS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SECURING RIGHTS TO ANY COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL WITHIN THEIR ADVERTISEMENTS. PUBLISHER ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CLAIMS OF ADVERTISERS AND RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REJECT ANY ADVERTISING. PUBLICATION OF THE
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Thorgy Thor and the Thorchestra Boettcher Hall
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Creepatorium Dark Romance Market
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Denver QueerGxrl Launch Party Club Lexi
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Queer Bazaar
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Leather Baddies - A Queer Dance Party Town Hall Collaborative
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DJ Pauly D
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Paramore Drag Show
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NAME OR PHOTOGRAPH OF ANY PERSON OR ORGANIZATION IN ARTICLES OR ADVERTISING IS NOT TO BE CONSIDERED AN INDICATION OF THE SEXUAL ORIENTATION OR HIV STATUS OF SUCH PERSON OR ORGANIZATION. PUBLISHER ASSUMES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE LOSS OR DAMAGE OF MATERIALS SUBMITTED. OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF OUT FRONT, ITS STAFF, OR ADVERTISERS.
RESERVATION OF RIGHTS OFM PUBLISHING LLC IS THE OWNER OF ALL RIGHT, TITLE, AND INTEREST IN THE OUT FRONT BRAND AND LOGO. NO PERSON OR ENTITY MAY REPRODUCE OR USE (OR AUTHORIZE THE REPRODUCTION OR USE OF) THE OUT FRONT BRAND AND LOGO IN ANY MANNER OTHER THAN EXPRESSLY AUTHORIZED BY OFM PUBLISHING LLC. UNAUTHORIZED USE OF THE OUT FRONT BRAND AND LOGO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.
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Comedy Open Mic Night
Bluebird Theater
Town Hall Colaborative
Temple Nightclub Munchies, CO Springs Valentines Day is Terrible - An Evening with Alaska Thunderfuck
Aggie Theater, Ft. Collins, CO
Born This Way: Drag Show and Dance Party Glow Lounge Telluride Gay Ski Week
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The Beaches
Marquis Theater
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H
appy Valentine’s Day everyone! This particular holiday is one I’ve had to come around to. Many think that’s cynical, as I’m someone who has usually been romantically partnered. But I’ve never been too PDA-forward or touchy-feely, and the idea of Hallmark holidays, forced romanticism, and sappy sentiments just never did it for me.
But then I became editor, and then owner, of OFM, and I started thinking about it a little differently. Sure, you can do the homo-normative thing and get flowers or chocolates for your lover, have a sexy time with lacy underwear, or go to a fancy restaurant. But you don’t have to. It’s also a holiday for recognizing the power that is the love and romance part of the queer community and celebrating that love, whatever that looks like. And this year, I really wanted to make sure we focused on the hard-hitting issues as well as the warm and fuzzies. We’ve all heard the rhetoric that queer love and marriage could be under attack if protections roll back. Some of us have been concerned about that, and others have spoken up saying we still don’t truly have equality, since disabled and poly people can’t get married, and that trans rights are a more pressing human rights issue to be concerned about. So we spent plenty of time diving into that as well alongside the fluffy stuff. But serious issues aside, whether you’re partnered up, have multiple boos, or will be proudly flying solo this February, take some time to thank yourself and the people in your life, because love is something that needs to be celebrated, not just romantic love, and not just in February.
-Addison Herron-Wheeler
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W
hen Obergefell was codified in 2015, it was celebrated as a massive win for same-gender couples and marriage equality. After years of advocating for the legalization of same-gender marriage, the LGBTQ+ community celebrated a nationwide win. It was one of the biggest marriage equality wins in United States history, alongside Loving v. Virginia in 1967, which banned the restriction of interracial marriages. It has now been almost a decade since Obergefell v. Hodges, and in that time frame, the United States has seen an increase in anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric. Donald Trump winning the presidential election in 2016 led to an increase in the platforming of rightwing politicians, commentators, and media personalities.
gatekeep lower-income couples from being able to marry in-state, as they would have to travel outside of their state to be married. But when speaking of the privileges of marriage, there is still a big issue that is left largely unaddressed: the rights of disabled people in a marriage. In 2022, President Joe Biden signed the Respect for Marriage Act into law, which codified rights for same-gender and interracial couples. But people pointed out that the act did not address the issue of disabled marriage.
Will Marriage Stay Equal?
This platforming of far-right politics, particularly on social media, played no small part in the subsequent rise of anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric surrounding specifically transgender individuals, particularly trans women. The current political climate has led LGBTQ+ folks to worry about the possible reversal of Obergefell v. Hodges, especially in light of the reversal of Roe v. Wade in 2022. And if not the total reversal, then insidious instances of permissions being taken away.
by Rasai Trammell
In a study done by the Human Rights Campaign, it was found that LGBTQ+ adults were significantly more likely to self-report having a disability than nonLGBTQ+ adults. 52% of transgender adults surveyed reported having a disability and 36% of LGBTQ+ adults as a whole reported having a disability, where only 24% of non-LGBTQ+ adults reported having a disability.
Was it Ever?
Thirty-five U.S. states including Texas, Florida, Wisconsin, and Arizona currently have inactive marriage bans that would be reactivated if Obergefell was overturned, as reported by journalist Jasmine Aguilera. These bans would make it illegal for same-gender couples to be married in the state, deny them of privileges afforded by marriage such as tax benefits and healthcare decisions, and 8 OFM FEBRUARY 2024
In the United States, a disabled person cannot marry a non-disabled person without having their federal benefits—such as SSDI, SSI, Medicare, and Medicaid—severely reduced or lost entirely. They also cannot cohabitate the same home without experiencing similar loss of benefits. And even if two disabled individuals marry, they could still incur a 25% loss of SSI benefits, according to journalist Shruti Rajkumar.
The issue of disabled marriage and LGBTQ+ marriage go hand in hand, as LGBTQ+ individuals will face additional discriminatory practices if they are disabled. When allies proclaimed that “everyone has the right to marry," they overlooked disabled individuals and the intersection of LGBTQ+ and disabled people.
But it can also be noted that, though it is a valid fear, no moves have been actively made to strike down Obergefell, and it is mostly speculation based on a trend of events and words from a few right-wing politicians such as Ted Cruz and Clarence Thomas. What has been tangibly on the rise is the passing of anti-transgender legislation, particularly targeting gender affirming care. In 2023, a record number of anti-transgender bills were filed, with 508 bills being introduced and 84 being passed into law, according to ABC News. These bills primarily involved blocking trans minors’ access to puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy. Twenty-two states currently restrict gender affirming care for minors, and states such as Florida and Missouri restrict Medicaid from covering gender-affirming care. The bills outline a plethora of negative consequences for doctors who provide gender affirming care—in some states even making it a felony to provide gender affirming care for minors, sand driving down the rate of doctors who will prescribe hormones and other care. Meanwhile, 21 states passed bills allowing high schools and colleges to exclude transgender girls and women from participating in sports consistent with their gender identity, according to the New York Times. Only five of these states extended the ban to include transgender men and boys, again highlighting the continued targeting of specifically transfeminine people. And these are just a few of the anti-trans legislative actions that have been passed. Others include the barring of transgender students from using the bathroom of their choice in school and prohibiting the discussion of personal pronouns among teachers and students. As of November 2023 in the United States, 53 transgender individuals were murdered, and 32 were lost to suicide, The Guardian reports. And these are only the cases made known to the public. The murders have disproportionately been of Black transgender women, with 61.8% of victims falling into that category, according to statistics by the Human Rights Campaign. The argument can very easily be made that focusing on speculating if Obergefell will be rolled back does not take into account the much more present and actively damaging rise of anti-transgender legislation and violence. As members of the LGBTQ+ community fight to be heard across the board, the possible rollback of Obergefell brings up issues of the rights of disabled queer people and the recent rise in anti-trans legislation across the United States. outfrontmagazine.com 9
Let Queer AF Engagement Party Help with the Gay Wedding of Your Dreams
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ove is in the air this month, and we are especially excited to celebrate queer love and joy with you all! OFM got a chance to connect with the Queer and Allied Vendors Alliance to learn more about who they are, what it is like for folks in the LGBTQ+ community who are in the wedding planning process, and the upcoming Queer AF Engagement Party' at the Town Hall Collaborative in April.
We got the opportunity to sit down with Jennie Crate, Jennifer Benson, and Tirzah Stein, three incredible business owners in the wedding industry who wanted to bring more resources and accessibility to the LGBTQ+ community during the wedding planning process, and create a sense of community and enjoyment to what normally can be a really stressful time for folks.
by Brynne Popp
Can you each tell me a little bit about your individual businesses and services and the inspiration behind them?
Jennie Crate with Jennie Crate Photography I'm a wedding photographer primarily, and I've been in 1 0 OFM FEBRUARY 2024
buness for 11 years now, since 2012. About five or six years ago, I started doing photography full time, and about that time, I started to really try to focus a little bit more on serving the queer community. It's something I've always been really passionate about, providing a really inclusive, safe, celebratory experience for queer couples who are getting married. But I think when I started it, it wasn't as widespread. It was a lot harder to feel like you could run a business that you know would support you financially if you were really specific to your clients. And I think that has changed for the better in the last few years. I started to also realize that I really liked working with the queer community and serving those clients, so I kind of just rewrote my copy and decided to really lean into serving the community that I am also a part of. And that's been really awesome through the transition to just kind of grow my base clientele to be focused on queer couples.
I obviously still will photograph any wedding that comes across that feels like a good fit, but I really love that I can bring value to queer couples getting married and encouraging them and celebrating them in a way that feels really good on their side too. It's awesome to connect with couples who also feel like working with other queer vendors just makes their own experience a lot better for their wedding planning. So that's kind of like the basis of my photography business. And then, four years ago, I took over a resource called “LGBTQ I Do," which is a vendor resource for couples getting married, but it highlights vendors who are queer, inclusive, and openly accepting and celebratory of being part of the community.
Jennifer Benson with Hitched AF Wedding Planning I am a wedding planner, and I really just started my busness a little less than two years ago. But I had worked with some wedding planners for a couple of years prior to that. I kind of launched into wedding planning after planning my own wedding, which is a common story for wedding planners. Both my husband and I had been married before and just the big traditional wedding didn't feel like a fit for us. I continually kind of felt pushed into this traditional planning box, and so I decided that planning was something I wanted to do. I knew that I wanted to work with couples who, you know, the traditional wedding didn't speak to them either and wanted to make sure that they did not feel pushed into that box, kind of take away any expectations and give permission to plan your wedding the way that you want it to be. So I'm marketing myself very much as a non-traditional or unconventional wedding planner, and find that that often attracts members of the queer community, which I love. Well, so I connected with Tirzah and Jennie shortly after. And, you know, I think we've just all kind of shared an interest in taking the things in the wedding industry that don't serve everyone or that we don't love about the wedding industry and trying to figure out a way to make that better. I think eventually, as we kind of thought of ways that we could better serve, you know, non traditional couples, people in the queer community, people who maybe have trouble navigating the wedding wedding industry, historically we came up with a couple of projects, including the Queer AF Engagement Party.
Tirzah Stein with Nearly Wed Coaching I started my business in 2021, and I am a wedding coach, a premarital coach, and an officiant. Wedding coaching is something that I felt like I wish I had when I was getting married in 2019. I had my wedding planner with all the logistics and all of that, which was amazing, but just navigating everything else that a lot of newlyweds are having to navigate when they're planning their weddings, people don’t talk about much. The stress, the overwhelm, the expectations of other people, the pressure, we feel the societal idea of what a wedding should look like. outfrontmagazine.com 11
Sometimes conflict can arise with you and your partner; sometimes you're maybe not really feeling good about the planning process, and you are just going through the motions and checking things off the list. Coaching really helps folks connect to each other and really process through things like what's the wedding we want to have, how to be intentional, how to be authentic to ourselves, and not just kind of do things to do things. But explore the options. Think outside the box, and then support other, navigating challenges. A lot of the time there is family dynamics, it could be a parent who's maybe kind of trying to steamroll things or has really strong opinions, or there's financial strings attached, how they're navigating, setting boundaries, just all of the different things that might be coming up. Specifically supporting queer couples that are navigating in the wedding industry is extremely important to me because they can experience harm, whether it's with other vendors or just their experience overall dealing with family, perhaps, who doesn't support them. So different kinds of things might be coming up for them specifically that heterosexual couples might not be navigating. Like if a parent decides they don't want to come to the wedding. How are they processing that kind of stuff ? Those kinds of topics, and then premarital coaching I added on as well. Because I felt like there was a need to support folks who don't fit within a religious institution or space. Because commonly, there's premarital counseling that's offered through a church. My background is as a social worker. I was a social worker for 10 years. And so I wanted to kind of go from the trauma work I was doing in domestic violence into, like, the happiest part of people's lives. So it's been really rewarding and really beautiful and special for me to connect with folks around just how they can strengthen their relationship. It's really focused on this time before they enter into marriage together and what they want to just, you know, fine tune in their communication and their conflict resolution and their differences and their family dynamics, whatever might be coming up. Eventually I decided at some point throughout my business evolving that I also wanted to officiate. So I started doing that too. I officiate weddings, and they all kind of connect to each other. So sometimes I work with people who do some wedding coaching and some premarital coaching and have me as an officiant as well. Tirzah: Three years ago, Jennie and I met through “LGBTQ I Do” and got to know each other that way. Then we started chatting more, and I really felt the need to also bring inclusivity consulting into the wedding industry just because when I was going through the process myself of planning my wedding, I had some negative experiences as well as positive ones. I became a vendor myself. I was like, okay, now I'm in a position where I can really maybe make a change in this way as well. So I started doing inclusivity consulting with other wedding vendors just to help support them and how they can really show up more for the queer community who's navigating the wedding industry and doing, like a review of their website and social media and just
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supporting them through different action steps they can take to be actively more inclusive from like an authentic place for them and providing education to teams. I partnered up with “LGBTQ+ I do” so that any folks that are coming through the platform that want to be listed as an allied vendor, but maybe aren't really showing that in their work, are being suggested to have the inclusivity consulting piece, and so we are offering a free year listing on “LGBTQ+ I do” once they do inclusivity consulting with me. There was a day we were at an event with mostly queer vendors. We were having the best time ever. It just felt so fun, so comfortable, such a lovely time. I met a couple, one of them was a wedding photographer, and we decided to do something together. That’s kind of when the idea was like, let's get queer vendors together. Let's create space for queer vendors. Because there are a lot of queer vendors in the wedding industry, but again, like, we are in a heteronormative industry, and so sometimes it feels like we're not really having the space we need or the safety to come together. So that’s when we decided to start doing more queer vendor meetups, which have been pretty successful so far. It’s been really awesome to see people sharing their experiences and things they have in common and just also being able to support each other's businesses and how we can refer to each other and lift each other up and just create this community within the wedding industry. And then one day at, like, 3 a.m., I was just thinking because there's a lot of other types of official community associations and alliances within the wedding industry, and I had this thought of how our meetups could be so much bigger than that; it could be education; it could be bigger events and offering so much more to this special community of vendors. That's when the idea of QAVA (Queer and Allied Vendors Alliance) came about.
Tell me more about the “Queer AF Engagement Party.” Why was reaching the community with something like this important? Jennie: So when we first started brainstorming the event, we decided to reach out and connect with Town Hall Collaborative, who is also a queer-owned business and they are trying to get more connected to the wedding industry. In the process of talking to them and about what they do and kind of what we all hope for the industry, we landed on a couple of different projects that we thought would be really cool. One of which was this idea of a wedding showcase. Currently, there are a handful of wedding showcases where vendors will come together. They'll be in a space, and then couples who are engaged can come and walk around and talk to vendors and maybe try to find some of the vendors for their own wedding. And there's been a couple, I think, geared towards queer couples, but they are usually not local. So we felt like this was in need in the Denver wedding communities to create a showcase that outfrontmagazine.com 13
really highlights queer vendors and also is really there for queer couples and their friends and their family and their communities to to come and have that space, that shared sense of community. We're all looking to have an exceptional wedding experience, and we want to have an experience that feels inclusive and right and exciting without having to walk around and out yourself to every vendor that you might meet or wonder are they going to be accepting. Something we really thought about was how to make this event feel a little different, a little more celebratory then other wedding expos we all have been to. So we came up with this idea of throwing an engagement party for couples. The majority of engagements actually happen throughout this time of year, Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day, and we wanted to create an event where we are inviting them to celebrate that engagement. We want people to kick off their wedding planning journey with us with more of a party atmosphere than a vendor tabling event or a more traditional showcase kind of thing.
What can we expect from the first expo, and what are future goals? Jennifer: So to play off the name Hitched AF and Queer AF, you can tell with that branding that we play in kind of unconventional celebrations of love. But one of the services that we provide is what we call pop-up weddings. Chapels,
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kind of inspired by Las Vegas wedding chapels, are kind of an alternative to eloping in the mountains or eloping at city hall. It is something that is affordable and still special, fun, and a meaningful wedding celebration. So we set up venues across Denver, basically like a Vegas chapel but a really beautiful classy wedding setup. And then couples can pay a set fee all inclusive, to have a time slot in the chapel. It includes their flowers, food and drinks, music, and officiating by Tirzah. As part of our “Queer AF Engagement Party,” we are setting up a mock pop-up chapel so people can see what that's like if that is an alternative that they may like. Tirzah: In addition to the pop-up chapel, we will have space for other vendors, teams of vendors to create an immersive wedding experience where they can be super creative and put together a little mini wedding set-up. We were focused on how we create this more immersive experience instead of just having people go table to table. Misfits Entertainment will be there as well as some fabulous drag performers, and we have some cool merch and stickers that are genderfluid and inclusive to hopefully encourage folks to become excited about the planning process instead of overwhelmed. The Queer AF Engagement Party is from 12:00 to 4:00 p.m. on Sunday, April 21 at the Town Hall Collaborative. Admission is a sliding scale for ticket prices, based on a “pay what you can'' model. All of the proceeds from this event will go towards a local LGBTQ+ nonprofit organization.
by Jude Novak
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clearly remember the moment I found out same-gender marriage had been federally legalized in the United States. I was 14 years old and sitting in my best friend's living room as we watched the news. At the time, I was so excited, but I didn’t realize the promise of marriage equality didn’t apply to me.
Supplemental Security Income (SSI) is a federal program that provides financial assistance to low income people who are over the age of 65 or disabled. Since the creation of SSI through the social security amendments of 1972, there have been rules in place that limit a person's SSI eligibility based on, not only their own income and assets, but their spouses as well. In November 2023, almost 7.5 million people in the U.S. received SSI. Millions of Disabled Americans have been forced to choose between what is often their only income and getting married to the person they love. In addition, if both people in a married couple are on SSI, they will receive three fourths of what they would as a non married individual. The couples asset limit for SSI is $3000, and the monthly income limit is less than that. For most people, there are legal benefits to marriage, but disabled people on SSI are penalized for it. Twenty-six-year-old SSI recipient Clover Penelope has dreamt about getting married since they were a child. They have pinterest boards dedicated to rings, wedding dresses, decor, color pallets and more. However, this dream has been, in her words, “snuffed out” when they became disabled and could no longer work. She spent three long years fighting for benefits while barely scraping by and now only receives $628 dollars a month in income.
”It’s devastating, isolating, and, in a way, humiliating,” says Penelope. “All of it is so dehumanizing; I don't feel like a person.” She dreams of not only a wedding but a marriage and a family. “I want to teach someone to be human; being a mother has been a long term goal of mine,” they say. Penelope is one of so many disabled individuals who has had their dreams for marriage and a family hindered by restrictive marriage penalties and income limits. outfrontmagazine.com 17
Not only are there income limits in place for SSI recipients but also for recipients for the government health insurance Medicaid. This health insurance covers many disabled people both on and off SSI and is, for many, the only way to afford life-saving treatments and medications. Though millions of disabled Americans receive Medicaid coverage, the majority of people on Medicaid are not disabled. Placing an income and asset limit on Medicaid recipients not only results in further limitations on disabled people's ability to get married, it also speaks to a larger issue at hand in our welfare and medical systems. No one, disabled or not, should be forced to live in state-sanctioned poverty to get the medical care they need. My arthritis medication, Enbrel, alone costs around $12,000 a month for four injections out of pocket. Without my medicaid, I honestly don’t know how long I would live, and I know for a fact my quality of life would be substantially worse. I take five medications on a daily basis as well as several as-needed meds to treat medical symptoms. Medicaid is the only reason I am able to afford any of these meds.I had my own dreams of getting married one day, but I let go of those a long time ago.I remember six years ago, when I was 19, my ex and I would talk about our dream wedding knowing even then it would never be a reality. ”Fuck the government; let’s get married,” was a common phrase you would hear me say to them as we talked about venues and what we would wear. It was all for fun, but even then, there was a sadness looming over those conversations knowing it would never be real. We have established the fact that many disabled people cannot get legally married without losing their benefits; however, these rules go beyond just legal marriage. Social Security may deem a person as “holding out from marriage” if they believe that two people living together are a couple who share assets and/or presents as married. They may launch an investigation into a couple living together, and if they are determined to be holding out, the disabled individual may lose their benefits.This investigation often looks onto things like if a couple refers to each other as spouses, if you receive mail with your partner's last name, if you take on your partner's last name on social media, if both your names are on the lease where you rent and more. The holding out rule is particularly cruel in my opinion, as not only does this prevent legal marriage, it makes any kind of long lasting romantic relationship a risk. Disabled people deserve to have long-lasting and meaningful relationships without living in fear of losing their livelihood. 1 8 OFM FEBRUARY 2024
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Photos by Kayte Demont
HITCHED
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D Photographers: Julius Garrido and Kayte Demont Models: Jarrod Munger, Kirk Mitchell, Aubrey (Mable) Lane, Julia (Fallman) Lane, Brianna Martinez, Macee Rose
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Photos by Julius Garrido
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Photos by Kayte Demont
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"I love shooting weddings and working with couples because I genuinely love love. I know people say that a lot ,but what I mean by 'I love love' is that I love everything that comes with the physical expression of love. The look in someone’s eyes as their partner walks down the aisle towards them. The energy that’s so palpable between a couple that you swear you can SEE the vibrations in the photo." "When it comes to queer love and queer weddings, that’s extra special to me because it makes me feel like I’m helping to create history. The LGBTQ+ community hasn’t always been allowed to celebrate their love and commitment in public. It was and sadly can still sometimes be dangerous to fully be yourself out in the world. Being chosen to document a queer wedding is truly an honor that I don’t take lightly and will proudly hype you up for the world to see!" - Kayte Demont
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Photos by Julius Garrido
"As a queer photographer, doing queer weddings is deeply fulfilling. It’s about personal connection, celebrating diverse love, and contributing to greater representation. I find it rewarding to create safe spaces where queer love is celebrated and to be part of a narrative that challenges norms and tells powerful stories of love and commitment." - J ulius Garrido
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I
t’s Valentine’s season, which means it’s the prime time to get various heart-shaped sweets and watch the reality television equivalent of star-crossed romance novel sequels—wedding shows, such as 90 Day Fiance, The Ultimatum, and The Bachelor. As far as entertainment goes, it is an excellent distraction from the doldrum of daily life; however, it is also a window into the toxicity that is borne of spectators’ thirst for drama.
These sensationalized shows inadvertently give a platform to many questionable portrayals of romance and marriage. For some people, marriage is a promise, and for others, it is security. Love is often the same thing. Some individuals stay in their relationships based on the societal expectations thrust upon them. Romantic relationships are not only socially expected of everyone at some point, but they are expected with the intention of some form of civil union as the “end goal,” so to speak. Thus, series focused on marriage highlighting “finding the one,” usually with a large cash prize involved, are plentiful. The Bachelor and Bachelorette display an alarming amount of blatant misogyny that is hidden in plain sight. For many of us who were assigned female at birth, it is all too common to be painted as hysterical or overly emotional for simply speaking your mind. On the other hand, those of us who were assigned male at birth were often expected to be stoic and emotionless, anger being the only acceptable feeling. The Bachelor and Bachelorette’s editing portrays gender as society in the 2000s expected them to be, and this has not really changed 2 8 OFM FEBRUARY 2024
by Pen Watkins
since the first season of The Bachelor in 2002. Many reviews describe the show as “exploitative,” “unrealistic,” and “pathetic.” And then there’s 90 Day Fiance, a show in which the entire premise is that an American citizen and someone who is often trying to get a visa and start a new life in the States have to get married within 90 days.
This particular premise is wildly predatory and very bigoted, as watcher reviews have stated. The power imbalance showcased in so many of the seasons, with the U.S. citizen occasionally holding the fact that they can have their partner deported over their partner’s head, is one of many problems. One other issue is the age gaps between partners. Age gaps are not necessarily always a bad thing in relationships; however, the human brain has been scientifically proven to not be fully mature until someone is in their mid-to-late 20s. The prefrontal cortex, one of the last parts of the brain to fully develop, is the part of the brain that helps regulate emotions and correlate cause and effect and focus. This makes people under 30 more vulnerable to being predated on, regardless of how intelligent they are. The common age gaps, often with the U.S. citizen being the older party, coupled with the power imbalance, create many concerning situations that are played off of for entertainment. Another problematic show is The Ultimatum. While nothing is inherently wrong with not wanting your relationship to stagnate, this show is pretty harmful to the contestants themselves. Couples come to the show to participate in a self-proclaimed “social experiment” in which they temporarily split with their partner whom they want to marry, date other people for a few weeks, and then go back to their partner, who is often hurt by the actions that have been done during their weeks apart. Typically, when something is called a “social experiment” by its own creators, it is not going to be something particularly good. This show is no different, with several watchers calling the show morally reprehensible. The first season showcases this well. In one example out of many, one man chose the one woman who did not want children out of all the other contestants who were open and willing to have children and tried to convince her to have children. outfrontmagazine.com 29
In the past, shows centered on the LGBTQ+ community have been made, but in a way that portrayed being LGBTQ+ as something wrong. There’s Something About Miriam (2004) treated transness as something shocking and foul, while Playing It Straight (2004) relied on stereotypes and “gaydar” to eliminate contestants. While The Ultimatum has a queer-focused spinoff, these shows thrive off of painting the people in them as their worst traits only. Perhaps in the future, we will get a show that follows unions between happy couples, filled with inclusivity and devoid of power imbalances and harmful portrayals, but for now, we are stuck with the glorification of toxic relationships and the commodification of marriage.
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Hi
goodie
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guide
ove is in the air this February, and whether that’s self-love or a romantic pairing, you’re still valid. Here are some fabulous goodies you could either use to treat and appreciate yourself or give out to a special someone this month.
Jaunty Vapes: Wedding Cake
ed
If you’re looking for the perfect way to puff, puff, pass on your special day, Jaunty has you covered with their special Wedding Cake strain vape cart. This one-gram cartridge is 90% THC and also has a little bit of CBD to keep you calm and collected. You’ll want to grab one to try next time your romantic getaway takes you to New York.
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Available in either Chill, Focus, Doze, or Mega, you will absolutely love the way this tincture provides support for pretty much any part of your day. Chill contains CBD for relaxation, and focus pairs THC with CBG so you can dial in to any task you need to knock out. Doze contains CBN for a good night’s sleep, and my personal favorite, Mega, is just THC for a blast-off perfect for a night on the town.
Available in either Chill, Focus, Doze, or Mega, you will absolutely love the way this tincture provides support for pretty much any part of your day. Chill contains CBD for relaxation, and focus pairs THC with CBG so you can dial in to any task you need to knock out. Doze contains CBN for a good night’s sleep, and my personal favorite, Mega, is just THC for a blast-off perfect for a night on the town.
Jumbodose Tinctures
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Blazy Susan Resin Blaster Here we have one of the easiest to use cleaners in the cannabis market, PERIOD. Blazy Susans Resin Blaster is THE product for any glass, ceramic, or metal pieces. No more rounds of wasted isopropyl. With this, you simply pour some in, swirl it around, and dump the excess back into the bottle for later. I found it best to let it rest for 35 minutes, just five minutes more than what is recommended and then rinsed out with warm to hot water. Enjoy your revived, refreshed, and sparkling piece!
Stündenglass Kompact Gravity Infuser First off, just wow, Stündendglass has done it again! Having previously tested the PINK Gravity Infuser, I truthfully didn't see where any improvements could be made. I was mistaken. The Kompact Gravity Infuser has topped its predecessor. With a smaller and lighter frame, it provides the same heavy punch without being all up in your face. With the smaller size, it is easier to assemble, pass around, then break down and move to the next sesh. Highly recommended for any group events or even just a sesh of three or more at your place!
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Stündenglass Modül
Stündenglass’ Modül is levels above anything I have used. It can be used on both the Kompact and the full-size gravity infuser with options between concentrate and dry herb. A neat feature is that when using the dry herb tank, the Modül has a detection system to prevent temperature changes. Whereas the concentrate tank does provide an optional range from 392ºF to 932ºF. As always, temperature is a personal preference, but I would recommend starting at 580ºF and adjust from there. We also are provided with customization options for the screen display. You are able to change colors, day or night mode, and set a lock.
Jaunty Gummies
With gummies this good, it’s hard to eat just one. Collect all three flavors in Sour Watermelon, Snoozeberry, and Sweet Peach. Snoozeberry is infused with CBN at a 1:1 ratio, and the rest are pure punches of THC for some solid fun. Bet you can’t stop at just a couple!
LUCY Breakers If you're looking for a revolutionized nicotine pouch, look no further. The LUCY breakers are full of flavor and far more juicy than the average pouch. These pouches are exceptionally long-lasting as each pouch contains a bead-sized capsule that, at any point, can be broken to release an additional burst of flavor. Available in 4mg and 8mg pouches.
Sleep by PAX If you’re looking for better sleep, you will want to give this new vape cart a try. The hits are soft and gentle, and the special herbal blend is quite tasty, giving hints of lavender and something else I can’t quite place, but it’s definitely floral and herbal. You can still taste a little bit of the cannabis flower, but it’s mild and relaxing. The perfect puff, puff, pass out!
LUCY Nicotine Gum The LUCY nicotine gum is flavorful, long-lasting and takes the edge edge off when it comes to that nicotine craving. Each pack comes with 10 pieces. Highly recommend trying this product whether you're looking for a smoking substitute, a new way to get your nicotine fix, or a new favorite gum! Available in 2mg, 4mg and 6mg packs.
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Horoscopes by Brynne Popp
Hello, my little valentines! Get ready for some romance, as this month’s horoscope is all about your love life, so buckle up and grab some chocolate as we dive into each sign with their corresponding candy heart affirmation for this month of love.
February Astrological Events
February 9: New Moon in Aquarius February 24: Full Moon (Snow Moon) in Virgo
Aries
This month, your ability to empathize with others will get you far in friendships and romance, Aries. Trust your intuition and gut this month, and allow yourself to open up just a little bit more with your connections. Your sense of self-discovery will also empower you to reflect on your own personal growth in relationships! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am capable of anything.”
Taurus
People really want to be in your presence this month, Taurus! Take the time this month to strengthen your bonds with your friends, partner(s), and rekindle that romantic flame. Trust yourself and your relationships, as you are in for a month of passion and abundance! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am worthy and deserving!”
Gemini
This is a month of new romantic encounters for you, Gemini! Your incredible charm and warmth will lead you to new interactions. Trust your communication and connection skills, as they are shining to others and it is a great time to make bold, romantic actions. Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am thoughtful and kind.”
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Cancer
February is full of warm and nurturing energy for you, Cancer! You have a focus on self-care and well-being which will serve you well this month. It is also a great time to deepen your romantic and emotional connections, while also celebrating the beauty and simplicity of love with those in your life. Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am loved and show love.”
Leo
You are prosperous both financially and romantically this month, Leo! February is a month that will highlight your charisma and charm, making you irresistible. Lean into the passion and vibrant energy to celebrate the elegance of love with your friends and partner(s). Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am beautiful inside and out.”
Virgo
The universe is bringing you some stability in all your endeavors, including romance this month, Virgo! Focus on your own well-being and selfcare while also creating the building blocks of compatibility and trust with that special someone in your life right now. Your sense of responsibility and discipline will also serve you well in your professional career! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am strong and important.”
Libra
February is a month of beauty and harmony for you, Libra! Take a step back, and appreciate all the aspects of your life that seem to be falling into place for you. Celebrate the elegance and strength of your connections and relationships and trust that the universe is bringing you balance and harmony. Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am connected to everything.”
Scorpio
This month is full of a great transformative energy in several aspects of your life, Scorpio! Especially in matters of love, appreciate your profound connections, and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and communicative. This month you are very approachable, and being open and honest will bring you the most emotional fulfillment. Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am full of gratitude.”
Sagittarius
February is full of optimism and exploration, Sagittarius! Be open to new connections and relationships both personally and professionally. Romance is expressive and expansive, so don’t be afraid to start a new adventure with someone new! Your innovative spirit is what attracts people to you most, so embrace it! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I welcome abundance in my life!”
Capricorn
You are full of determination this month, Capricorn! This will prove to be successful in most endeavors for you in February including romance. Celebrate your strong friendships and partner(s) while fostering trust and compatibility with those in your life. Don’t forget to love and trust yourself the most, as your confidence is what makes others gravitate towards you! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I radiate confidence.”
Aquarius
Happy Birthday, sweet Aquarius! Venus is adoring you this month as you are showered in love and personal connections. Your intellect in conversation makes people tune in to what you have to say, so embrace the romance and the strong feelings you have, and spend time with your friends, loved ones and partner(s)! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I love myself and everyone around me.”
Pisces
Happy Birthday, February Pisces! We love your dreamy and thoughtful nature. This month, trust your intuition to guide you successfully both in creative pursuits and passionate connections. Celebrate the harmonious and enchanting beauty of romance with those you hold close to your heart, and lean into selfdiscovery and growth! Candy Heart Affirmation: “I am creative and passionate.”
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Colorado Nightlife
BAD HABITS DENVER 3014 E Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 335-9690 badhabitsdenver.com
LIL' DEVILS 255 S. Broadway St. Denver (303) 733-1156 Facebook @lildevilslounge
BLUSH & BLU 1526 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 484-8548 blushbludenver.com
R&R LOUNGE 4958 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 320-9337 Facebook @randrdenver
BOYZTOWN 117 Broadway St. Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com
TIGHT END BAR 1501 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 861-9103 tightendbar.com
CLUB Q 3430 N Academy Blvd. Colo Springs (719) 570-1429 clubqonline.com
TOWN HALL COLLABORATIVE 525 Santa Fe Dr. Denver (720) 389-7502 townhallcollaborative.com
CHARLIE’S NIGHTCLUB 900 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com
TRACKS 3500 Walnut St. Denver (303) 836-7326 tracksdenver.com
DENVER EAGLE 5110 W. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 534-0500 Facebook @denvereaglebar
TRADE 475 Santa Fe Dr. Denver (720) 627-5905 Facebook @tradedenver
EL POTRERO 4501 E. Virginia Ave. Glendale (303) 388-8889 Facebook @elpotreroclub
WILD CORGI PUB 1223 E. 13th Ave. Denver (303) 832-7636 wildcorgipub.com
GOOD JUDY’S BAR & CLUB 103 N. 1st St. Grand Junction (970) 433-7115 www.good-judys.com
X BAR 829 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com
HAMBURGER MARY’S 1336 E. 17th Ave. Denver (303) 993-5812 hamburgermarys.com/denver
#VYBE 1027 N. Broadway St. Denver (720) 573-8886 303vybe.com
ICONS 3 E. Bijou St. Colo. Springs (719) 300-7863 Instagram @icons_colorado 3 8 OFM FEBRUARY 2024
DENVER SWEET 776 N. Lincoln St. Denver (720) 598-5648 denversweet.com • TUE: Solve That Puzzle 7p-9p w/$5 House Margs • WED: Music Bingo 7p-9p w/$4 U Call It At The Bar • THU: Karaoke 9p-1a w/BOGO well & drafts to 7p • SUN: Beer Bust 4p-8p & Showbears 7p-10p